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Moonlight and Mayhem
A Very Odd Romance
© 2010 by Walter Reimer
A story set in the Spontoon Island universe: http://spontoon.rootoon.com/
Spontoon Island © 2001-2021 Ken Fletcher and Giovanna Fregni
Thumbnail art by cherushi and amonomega
Three
July 10:
“And if you call for a song of the sea,
We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the wind is free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!”
Ignoring the growls and muttered curses from the lighter sleepers, Max continued his shower, singing at the top of his baritone voice as he massaged lather into his fur.
“To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a sailor sees
Is when he's down
At an inland town,
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo hooo-oowtch!”
His rendition of The Mikado was eclipsed by a strident yelp as a long arm reached out and grabbed him by his tail. The pained outburst was greeted by cheers as the rest of the longhouse went back to sleep.
The Catalina fox started to growl at the yank on his tail, but shut his muzzle as he saw who was yanking it. “Good morning, Sam.”
The badgeress was standing there in her fur, the shower’s hot water soaking into her fur. “Good morning, Max. I have a question.”
“Yes, Sam?”
“Why are you singing?”
The fox looked genuinely surprised. “I always sing in the shower, Sam.”
“But at oh-four-hundred?”
“Well, I needed to clean up. I have duty – “
Sam smiled, an expression that stopped short at her muzzle. “And who, pray tell, is Nancy?”
“Nancy?”
“Nancy.”
“It’s from the song, Sam,” the fox protested, slipping his soap-slick tail from her grasp and rinsing it off. “Honest, I don’t know anyone named Nancy.”
“Uh huh. Well, now that I got you to shut up, I’m getting all wet. So I guess I’ll take a shower too,” Sam said.
Max leered at her shamelessly. “Need someone to scrub your back, Sam?”
The badgeress gave the tod-fox an arch look over her shoulder as she faced into the stream of water. “Got a box to stand on, Max?” She turned back to the shower and started to lather up as her beau grumbled and padded out of the bathroom area.
A few moments later there was a thump behind her, followed by his damp scent and his paws on her shoulders. “Why, Max,” the badger purred.
“Good morning, Sam,” and he started to soap her back. He kissed and nipped at one of her ears as he whispered, “You’re cruel, you know – picking on me about my height like that.”
“Well, you know, Lover Boy, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.”
“So you’re really being nice to me?”
Again, a cool look as he rubbed her back. “Maybe.”
He leaned closer until their noses touched. “You do love me.”
“Don’t sound like you’re accusing me of a crime, Max. Of course I love you – if I didn’t, I would’ve killed you months ago.”
The short fox grinned. “I’ll treat you to breakfast after you get cleaned up.”
“Fine. But we eat in the mess hall – after all, we do have duty today.”
***
“Max?”
“Yes, Sam?”
“Take your paw off my tailfur, or I’ll break it.”
“Breaking your own tail, Sam? You might want to talk to a shrink about that self-destructive streak.”
“Destructive, yes,” Sam said as she saluted the flag, then the Officer of the Deck. “Self, no.” The pair finished ascending the quarterdeck gangway on the RINSS Orca as the cruiser basked in the summer sunshine. The former armored cruiser USS New York, one of Rain Island’s two flagships, was moored stern-first to the quay. “Hi. Anything going on today, Sally?”
“Hi, Sam,” the chow replied. “We’re still planning on sailing before lunchtime. Captain’s upstairs waiting for you.” The badgeress headed for the bridge and the canine’s blue-black tongue lolled as she grinned at the fox. “Hi, Max!”
“Sally, as I live and breathe – heavily,” Max said as he took her paw and bowed over it. “My engines are still where they usually are?”
“Waiting for you, you foxy boy you.” Sally batted her eyes at him. “You and Sam still an item?”
“Hate to disappoint you, my dear, but yes.” The chow looked crestfallen, but she caught the kiss Max blew at her as the vulpine made his way below.
Sam stepped onto the bridge and glanced at the daily reports. The captain, a badger like herself, grumbled, “It might be nice if my Executive Officer would be awake and on the bridge when in port. Just for the variety, you know.”
“Sorry.”
The badger frowned at her, then kissed her cheek. “Enjoy your leave, Sam? You kill that red terror yet?”
Samantha grinned and returned the kiss. “No, Dad. We’re still seeing each other, and he’s still asking me to marry him.”
Captain Bill Rain Sky shook his head. “Your mother doesn’t like him.”
“She’s not marrying him, Dad, I am. That is, if I say Yes.”
“Yeah, I know.” The older man sighed. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. I’m headed down to the wardroom for more coffee. Commander, pass the word to make preparations for getting underway.”
Samantha nodded. “Yes, sir.” She crossed the bridge to the telephones and flicked a switch. “Officer of the Deck.”
“OOD here,” Sally said.
“Sally, Sam here. Stop mooning over Max and tell me: How many more need to come aboard?”
“Just a couple, Sam.”
“Good. Keep an eye out for them. We’re leaving soon.” The badgeress flicked a few more switches and pulled a whistle from a pocket of her jumpsuit. She blew a harsh blast on the whistle and as the echoes reverberated around the cruiser she announced, “Now all hear this. Make all preparations for getting underway.” She repeated the orders twice more and hung up the phone as furs started scrambling.
After a few minutes the phone rang; Sam picked it up as the bridge crew went about their business. “Bridge.”
“Engine Room, Sam,” Max said over the sound of heavy machinery and hissing steam. “Let the Old Man know that steam’s up. We can leave any time he gives the word.”
“Good job, Max.”
“Thanks!”
“You always did manage to get my father steamed in record time.” She hung up as the helmsfur chuckled.
The OOD reported that everyone was aboard as Captain Rain Sky entered the bridge. “Commander, report.”
“Sir, all departments report ready to sail at your order.”
“Good. Signal the Spontoon harbormaster that we’re leaving at nine o’clock, and we’ll need one tug and the pilot.”
“Yes, sir. What course through the lagoon?”
“Due west. We’ll loop south – “ He broke off as a rating pressed a message into his paw. Rain Sky read it, then looked curiously at his daughter.
“What?”
He passed it to her and she read it:
10JUL350600 RINSHQ SEATHL TO RINSS ORCA MESSAGE STARTS COMMANDER SAMANTHA RAIN SKY LIEUTENANT MAX VREELAND ON DETACHED DUTY SYNDIC RINSB MOON ISLAND UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE STOP SORRY BILL STOP WILL EXPLAIN LATER OVER BEER STOP VICE-COMMODORE PRZYBYLSKI SENDS
“What the hell is that sawed-off runt up to?” he demanded as she reread the message.
Sam shrugged. “No idea, Dad. And Przybylski’s my height. Imagine what he was like to begin with.”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing Max did.”
“Oh? What about that thing with the barrel of tar?”
“He had a good reason for that.”
“And the chickens?”
Sam kept a straight face while the rest of the bridge personnel snickered. “He was drunk.”
“Uh huh. Well, get the Syndic up here so we can come up with a new Exec and Engineer. I want to see both of you before you go.”
***
The cruiser’s Syndic was a petty officer in the gunnery division, and the ram was talking with the badgers and drinking coffee when a sooty paw appeared in the compartment doorway, waving a pawkerchief. “Is it safe to come in?” Max asked.
“Get in here, Max,” Sam said. “We’re being put off the ship.”
“Hey, don’t look at me. It’s nothing I did.”
“That remains to be seen,” the ram said quietly. “Read this, Max,” and gave the fox the message. “Any ideas?”
“That old wolf’s had it in for me ever since I got promoted,” the fox said.
“Do you think the vegetarian pierogis might have had anything to do with it?” Sam asked.
Max shrugged. “Dunno. He’s got the mental capacity of – “
“Save it, Max,” the Syndic said.
“It just draws interest that way, Jim.”
“Never mind that. We need a new Engineer and Exec before you two leave, so start banging your head against the bulkhead and see what comes out your ears.”
“New Engineer? No problem – Jane.”
“You sure about that?”
Max grinned. “What she doesn’t know about those engines hasn’t been thought of yet, and she’s the one who rigged the sauna in the petty officer’s wardroom for you.”
Jim blushed. “Oh, okay then. We’ll put it to a vote, of course.”
“She’ll get it. I have confidence.”
“Then go see the doctor and take something for that, Max. Now, Sam, any idea for your replacement?”
The badgeress looked thoughtful. “Hmm.”
“I think she’s thinking.” Max said. “I can hear gears grinding.” He ducked out of the way of her father’s swipe at him.
“Vasili,” Sam said.
“Kirov?” Jim asked. “The new navigator?”
“Yes. That’s my choice,” she said firmly.
The ram jotted both names down and said, “Fine, then. You two get packing.”
“We hoist anchor and leave in a half-hour,” the Captain said, “so you two need to be off or you swim for it.”
“Well, it is a nice day – “
“Enough, Max. Let’s go.”
“One moment.” Captain Rain Sky looked the two over carefully for a moment, then kissed his daughter. “Sam, take care of yourself. And you, you bushy-tailed little creep – “
“You say the nicest things, Bill.”
“You give my daughter any grief and you – or what’s left of you – will answer to me.” He extended a paw, and Max looked at him. “Are you going to shake my paw, or not?” the badger asked irritably.
“You giving us your blessing, if she says Yes?” Max asked warily.
“I don’t have much of a choice,” Bill grumbled. “Sam always did have a mind of her own.”
“And she’s got a – “
“Max.”
“Yeah, Sam?”
“Shut up, shake Dad’s paw, and get ready to go ashore.”
“Sure.” The badger and the fox shook paws, and Max left the compartment.
The pair met up again at the gangway, and Sally signed them off the ship in her logbook. “I hate to see you both go,” the chow said. “The place won’t be as lively with you two gone.”
“Don’t worry, Mittens,” Max said as he shouldered his sea bag. “We’ll be back.”
As they walked down the gangway Sam asked, “Why did you call her ‘Mittens,’ Max?”
“That’s simple, Sam. She’s got quite a pair – “ he broke off and stared wide-eyed at her. “Eep.”
“Why, you little – “
Deckpaws paused in casting off the ship’s lines to cheer as a red-furred shape in a Naval Syndicate jumpsuit hit the water.
<NEXT>
<FIRST>
<PREVIOUS>
A Very Odd Romance
© 2010 by Walter Reimer
A story set in the Spontoon Island universe: http://spontoon.rootoon.com/
Spontoon Island © 2001-2021 Ken Fletcher and Giovanna Fregni
Thumbnail art by cherushi and amonomega
Three
July 10:
“And if you call for a song of the sea,
We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the wind is free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!”
Ignoring the growls and muttered curses from the lighter sleepers, Max continued his shower, singing at the top of his baritone voice as he massaged lather into his fur.
“To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a sailor sees
Is when he's down
At an inland town,
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo hooo-oowtch!”
His rendition of The Mikado was eclipsed by a strident yelp as a long arm reached out and grabbed him by his tail. The pained outburst was greeted by cheers as the rest of the longhouse went back to sleep.
The Catalina fox started to growl at the yank on his tail, but shut his muzzle as he saw who was yanking it. “Good morning, Sam.”
The badgeress was standing there in her fur, the shower’s hot water soaking into her fur. “Good morning, Max. I have a question.”
“Yes, Sam?”
“Why are you singing?”
The fox looked genuinely surprised. “I always sing in the shower, Sam.”
“But at oh-four-hundred?”
“Well, I needed to clean up. I have duty – “
Sam smiled, an expression that stopped short at her muzzle. “And who, pray tell, is Nancy?”
“Nancy?”
“Nancy.”
“It’s from the song, Sam,” the fox protested, slipping his soap-slick tail from her grasp and rinsing it off. “Honest, I don’t know anyone named Nancy.”
“Uh huh. Well, now that I got you to shut up, I’m getting all wet. So I guess I’ll take a shower too,” Sam said.
Max leered at her shamelessly. “Need someone to scrub your back, Sam?”
The badgeress gave the tod-fox an arch look over her shoulder as she faced into the stream of water. “Got a box to stand on, Max?” She turned back to the shower and started to lather up as her beau grumbled and padded out of the bathroom area.
A few moments later there was a thump behind her, followed by his damp scent and his paws on her shoulders. “Why, Max,” the badger purred.
“Good morning, Sam,” and he started to soap her back. He kissed and nipped at one of her ears as he whispered, “You’re cruel, you know – picking on me about my height like that.”
“Well, you know, Lover Boy, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.”
“So you’re really being nice to me?”
Again, a cool look as he rubbed her back. “Maybe.”
He leaned closer until their noses touched. “You do love me.”
“Don’t sound like you’re accusing me of a crime, Max. Of course I love you – if I didn’t, I would’ve killed you months ago.”
The short fox grinned. “I’ll treat you to breakfast after you get cleaned up.”
“Fine. But we eat in the mess hall – after all, we do have duty today.”
***
“Max?”
“Yes, Sam?”
“Take your paw off my tailfur, or I’ll break it.”
“Breaking your own tail, Sam? You might want to talk to a shrink about that self-destructive streak.”
“Destructive, yes,” Sam said as she saluted the flag, then the Officer of the Deck. “Self, no.” The pair finished ascending the quarterdeck gangway on the RINSS Orca as the cruiser basked in the summer sunshine. The former armored cruiser USS New York, one of Rain Island’s two flagships, was moored stern-first to the quay. “Hi. Anything going on today, Sally?”
“Hi, Sam,” the chow replied. “We’re still planning on sailing before lunchtime. Captain’s upstairs waiting for you.” The badgeress headed for the bridge and the canine’s blue-black tongue lolled as she grinned at the fox. “Hi, Max!”
“Sally, as I live and breathe – heavily,” Max said as he took her paw and bowed over it. “My engines are still where they usually are?”
“Waiting for you, you foxy boy you.” Sally batted her eyes at him. “You and Sam still an item?”
“Hate to disappoint you, my dear, but yes.” The chow looked crestfallen, but she caught the kiss Max blew at her as the vulpine made his way below.
Sam stepped onto the bridge and glanced at the daily reports. The captain, a badger like herself, grumbled, “It might be nice if my Executive Officer would be awake and on the bridge when in port. Just for the variety, you know.”
“Sorry.”
The badger frowned at her, then kissed her cheek. “Enjoy your leave, Sam? You kill that red terror yet?”
Samantha grinned and returned the kiss. “No, Dad. We’re still seeing each other, and he’s still asking me to marry him.”
Captain Bill Rain Sky shook his head. “Your mother doesn’t like him.”
“She’s not marrying him, Dad, I am. That is, if I say Yes.”
“Yeah, I know.” The older man sighed. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. I’m headed down to the wardroom for more coffee. Commander, pass the word to make preparations for getting underway.”
Samantha nodded. “Yes, sir.” She crossed the bridge to the telephones and flicked a switch. “Officer of the Deck.”
“OOD here,” Sally said.
“Sally, Sam here. Stop mooning over Max and tell me: How many more need to come aboard?”
“Just a couple, Sam.”
“Good. Keep an eye out for them. We’re leaving soon.” The badgeress flicked a few more switches and pulled a whistle from a pocket of her jumpsuit. She blew a harsh blast on the whistle and as the echoes reverberated around the cruiser she announced, “Now all hear this. Make all preparations for getting underway.” She repeated the orders twice more and hung up the phone as furs started scrambling.
After a few minutes the phone rang; Sam picked it up as the bridge crew went about their business. “Bridge.”
“Engine Room, Sam,” Max said over the sound of heavy machinery and hissing steam. “Let the Old Man know that steam’s up. We can leave any time he gives the word.”
“Good job, Max.”
“Thanks!”
“You always did manage to get my father steamed in record time.” She hung up as the helmsfur chuckled.
The OOD reported that everyone was aboard as Captain Rain Sky entered the bridge. “Commander, report.”
“Sir, all departments report ready to sail at your order.”
“Good. Signal the Spontoon harbormaster that we’re leaving at nine o’clock, and we’ll need one tug and the pilot.”
“Yes, sir. What course through the lagoon?”
“Due west. We’ll loop south – “ He broke off as a rating pressed a message into his paw. Rain Sky read it, then looked curiously at his daughter.
“What?”
He passed it to her and she read it:
10JUL350600 RINSHQ SEATHL TO RINSS ORCA MESSAGE STARTS COMMANDER SAMANTHA RAIN SKY LIEUTENANT MAX VREELAND ON DETACHED DUTY SYNDIC RINSB MOON ISLAND UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE STOP SORRY BILL STOP WILL EXPLAIN LATER OVER BEER STOP VICE-COMMODORE PRZYBYLSKI SENDS
“What the hell is that sawed-off runt up to?” he demanded as she reread the message.
Sam shrugged. “No idea, Dad. And Przybylski’s my height. Imagine what he was like to begin with.”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing Max did.”
“Oh? What about that thing with the barrel of tar?”
“He had a good reason for that.”
“And the chickens?”
Sam kept a straight face while the rest of the bridge personnel snickered. “He was drunk.”
“Uh huh. Well, get the Syndic up here so we can come up with a new Exec and Engineer. I want to see both of you before you go.”
***
The cruiser’s Syndic was a petty officer in the gunnery division, and the ram was talking with the badgers and drinking coffee when a sooty paw appeared in the compartment doorway, waving a pawkerchief. “Is it safe to come in?” Max asked.
“Get in here, Max,” Sam said. “We’re being put off the ship.”
“Hey, don’t look at me. It’s nothing I did.”
“That remains to be seen,” the ram said quietly. “Read this, Max,” and gave the fox the message. “Any ideas?”
“That old wolf’s had it in for me ever since I got promoted,” the fox said.
“Do you think the vegetarian pierogis might have had anything to do with it?” Sam asked.
Max shrugged. “Dunno. He’s got the mental capacity of – “
“Save it, Max,” the Syndic said.
“It just draws interest that way, Jim.”
“Never mind that. We need a new Engineer and Exec before you two leave, so start banging your head against the bulkhead and see what comes out your ears.”
“New Engineer? No problem – Jane.”
“You sure about that?”
Max grinned. “What she doesn’t know about those engines hasn’t been thought of yet, and she’s the one who rigged the sauna in the petty officer’s wardroom for you.”
Jim blushed. “Oh, okay then. We’ll put it to a vote, of course.”
“She’ll get it. I have confidence.”
“Then go see the doctor and take something for that, Max. Now, Sam, any idea for your replacement?”
The badgeress looked thoughtful. “Hmm.”
“I think she’s thinking.” Max said. “I can hear gears grinding.” He ducked out of the way of her father’s swipe at him.
“Vasili,” Sam said.
“Kirov?” Jim asked. “The new navigator?”
“Yes. That’s my choice,” she said firmly.
The ram jotted both names down and said, “Fine, then. You two get packing.”
“We hoist anchor and leave in a half-hour,” the Captain said, “so you two need to be off or you swim for it.”
“Well, it is a nice day – “
“Enough, Max. Let’s go.”
“One moment.” Captain Rain Sky looked the two over carefully for a moment, then kissed his daughter. “Sam, take care of yourself. And you, you bushy-tailed little creep – “
“You say the nicest things, Bill.”
“You give my daughter any grief and you – or what’s left of you – will answer to me.” He extended a paw, and Max looked at him. “Are you going to shake my paw, or not?” the badger asked irritably.
“You giving us your blessing, if she says Yes?” Max asked warily.
“I don’t have much of a choice,” Bill grumbled. “Sam always did have a mind of her own.”
“And she’s got a – “
“Max.”
“Yeah, Sam?”
“Shut up, shake Dad’s paw, and get ready to go ashore.”
“Sure.” The badger and the fox shook paws, and Max left the compartment.
The pair met up again at the gangway, and Sally signed them off the ship in her logbook. “I hate to see you both go,” the chow said. “The place won’t be as lively with you two gone.”
“Don’t worry, Mittens,” Max said as he shouldered his sea bag. “We’ll be back.”
As they walked down the gangway Sam asked, “Why did you call her ‘Mittens,’ Max?”
“That’s simple, Sam. She’s got quite a pair – “ he broke off and stared wide-eyed at her. “Eep.”
“Why, you little – “
Deckpaws paused in casting off the ship’s lines to cheer as a red-furred shape in a Naval Syndicate jumpsuit hit the water.
<NEXT>
<FIRST>
<PREVIOUS>
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Red Fox
Gender Multiple characters
Size 72 x 120px
Dammit...looks like I'll be reading the rest on the Spontoon website.
Heh...
Heh...
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