why do i allways have to fall in love with people that will never notice me?
or if they notice me tehy will beat the shit out of me or insult me until i end trying to kill me all once again.

this fucking new year will be as shit as all the 19 ones i've had before.

alone as ALLWAYS
because i can't spend it even with my family, NEVER
friends? NOPE i can't .
love?
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?
i dont fuking have a boyfriend nr even my crush to spend it with him.

my dream was to be with myloved one kissing under the fireworks nnew year...
BUT ONCE AGAIN I'M HERE ALONE,
crying without any sound to no one to notice.
cutting my fuking arm once again.

ihate me, i hate myluck i wish i die soon.
and i'm telling that for real.
i hope i die so i can stop suffering and dealing with the shit of me
and the other people.

god fuck this all, i wish i die soon.
but not yet.
fuck this.
i hate everything.
but mostly i hate me.

...
god damnit.