I GOT MY MONEY FINALLY

Paypal is still not working for it but I signed up for Payoneer and was able to transfer it. Now I wait for the withdraw to my bank.
Seriously I am so happy like holy shit wtf was all of that. They're still not even acknowledging the old issue and were focused on getting my money to payonner

It's been 3 weeks and Patreon has not given me my money yet!! I just feel so bad bc I can't withdraw it, it will likely disappear or get taken by Patreon. I doubt some of the accounts that deleted their profiles will get a refund.. This is hundreds of $ btw.

Payoneer will be my only hope, does anyone have any luck with it? I am trying to verify my account but it takes 2 days for them to look over the documents I send to proof my address and they keep sending it back to me. It seems really picky with how your scan your document or with what is worded in in. I'm 90% done, LET ME INNNN !!!!

Meanwhile I contacted Patreon support on updates with their payment team and was told that they will get back to me within the day. That was Tuesday, it's Saturday now!! And they don't work weekends!!!

IDK maybe its my autism but I have an issue where I can't relax if I'm waiting for something. I get anxious for appointments and it feels like it's gonna happen the next day when actually it's planned for weeks away. But everyday feels like that until its over and this is really making me ill. I haven't eaten much or worked on art. I don't wanna do anything because I feel like I'm expecting a message and I need to be there (even though I don't). The only thing I can do is sleep because it forces me to pass time.

I'm just so tired. I felt like things were looking up, I had plans to what I wanted to do these coming weeks but those weeks passed now. I'm overthinking things I know, but it's just how my brain works.

Hey it's been like 6 months since my last journal and a lot has happened since then. It's been up and down for me but I think I'm beginning to get back on track (I say for the 100th time).

Art wise I've been posting sketches and occasional fanarts on my X/Bluesky accounts. I'm sorry for not posting here, its just a lot easier to post to those sites. I do want to keep active on here though so I will post some new stuff on the occasion again. It's still been difficult for me to make art and I still have commissions in my queue from last November. For those waiting I apologize and I actually have plans on refunding some of my clients. I'm waiting on a payout from my Patreon as I just found out I had A LOT of money just sitting there even though my Patreon is not published anymore and not receiving any subscriptions. For some reason there's an issue with withdrawing and I can't recieve the money :( I'm currently in contact with Patreon support to get it fixed and have waited 2 weeks. Hopefully they say something soon... But if I do get that money I will refund some folk and open up simpler comms like sketches. That way I won't be as stressed and can work on personal projects again. I really want to make comics again.

On a personal note, my trips to therapy have been up and down. I'm stopping again as I don't have the funds to continue but I would like to go back someday, probably to a different therapist. My doctor hasn't been any help really so I'm on my own.

Also if you notice I don't have my fiance on my profile anymore as we broke up. Long story and if your really interested you can DM me but short form: He cheated on me with a coworker during my stay with him. So I've been dealing with those feelings these past few months. I'm alright, I'm happy to have friends to talk to and interact with now compared to years ago where he was my only friend.

So yeah thats pretty much it! Thank you for reading if you did. I hope to move past all these awful feelings and start working on my art more and interacting with the community. If Patreon works I'd like to publish my page from scratch and upload pinups, NSFW and SFW art and commission discounts again + comics and other projects. I'd also like to make a public Discord server to hang out with ya'll. ^^

I guess you've noticed but I've been uploading a lot more art lately. I'm off hiatus now since I'm on medication and seeing a psychiatrist. I'm still on a waitlist for therapy but If I make enough from comms I might just sign up with someone else for a monthly visit ya know? $200 in Cad is a lot + $90 for meds. But I'm feeling better! Not perfect ofc but it's a lot better than before.

As for commissions, I'm opening them tomorrow! WOOO! I won't take a lot of slots but I'm ready to take on more work while pacing myself. If I get too many detailed comms I may decline them instead of try to finish them over 6 months aha. But I appreciate how patient my clients are!

Welcome back everyone lol
That was sure... a time. I'm happy the site is running smoothly again!

Hello!! I'm still gonna be offline for awhile but I just wanted to update ya'll on how I am doing.

As of right now my cough is almost gone (it's still lingering). Turns out it was because of my allergies and to be honest it's been really groggy this summer so that could explain why my breathing has been really bad. I have an new inhaler to use for this until it goes away.

In terms of my depression, I'm still very unmotivated in my daily life. It's up and down with how I feel but I've been slowly working on art this week. Trying out different styles again and I think I'm moving forward to something I like. I also just got medication (anti-depressants) and am on the waitlist for two counseling services to get therapy. I could also try PWYC therapy again if they're open. I've been okay but I could be better.

Thanks for reading, I hope all of ya'll are having a good week ^^

Hi! I haven't posted here with an update for a while. I won't go into much detail but I'm in a very bad condition mentally and physically. I'll still be working on commissions and maybe opening for more after I finish the batch that I have at the moment however I will not be online very much. If things get worse I may just refund my clients because the wait has already been too long and no one deserves to wait on someone's illness for a piece of art.

I hope everyone a good life and I'm sorry I stopped posting comics and fun art. When will I be back? I don't know. I still want to post art and I might post stuff on occasion outside of commissions but idk. I have so much I want to do but I have no energy.

---

long Update/Vent
Things keep getting worse for me and I don't know what to do anymore. I think the best bet is for me to isolate myself again from online spaces minus a few Discord servers I'm in. I don't have any friends that I talk to a lot so it's not an issue for me, I actually miss when I used to focus more on my work and original works. I think I've been too self-indulgent with my art as a form of coping but now I've got nothing to latch onto. My medication doesn't work anymore and my doctor takes over a month to get a hold up on the soonest. My therapist also left me so I've just been losing hope on getting any better. And now I've got a cough that has me gagging and throwing up on the daily with nothing to help get rid of it. It's gotten to a point where I would rather sleep than be awake because I'm either coughing every 5 minutes or I have no motivation to do anything. I haven't brushed my teeth in a year and my dishes pile up. I'm scared of bathing or showering because my cough gets worse with vapor in the air. I finally got a refill for my inhaler and that helps sometimes but my cough doesn't come from my lungs I don't think. And before you ask, I already have a doctors appointment, I've just been waiting a month for the date to go. Other than my cough I've just been completely depressed and thinking of self-harm again. I mean, I've always thought about that since I was 11 but it's just at a peaking point nowadays. I'm tired of pretending to be happy in front of people or the internet but I know being pessimistic isn't good for a social profile and no one knows how to respond to people's issues. I wish I had something to latch onto, even a game or show but I've just lost interest in everything. I don't know when I'll be better again, I don't know if I'll ever get better.

Just letting everyone know I have an ask box you can send comments and art suggestions too. My tellonym is mostly for NSFW stuff but I can answer regular questions too. Currently fixated on Rayman and Scott Pilgrim so anything in relation to that will be taken note of first but you can suggest other characters or my OCs to make NSFW of.

https://tellonym.me/confusedewe
https://tellonym.me/confusedewe
https://tellonym.me/confusedewe

And if you want to suggest anything SFW, here is my other ask box!

https://retrospring.net/@ConfusedEWE
https://retrospring.net/@ConfusedEWE
https://retrospring.net/@ConfusedEWE

Hi!! Just a small life and art update.

I mentioned before about how I was starting anti-depressants and so I think they have been working. I mean, I'm posting a lot more now and doing commissions again so ofc it's working. I'm feeling more motivated now in lots of things like cooking and playing games. I still feel down at times but it's all apart of the ride. So far things have been getting better!

As for art, I'll be pausing my weekly Ewe/sheep comics for the month just so I can motivate myself more on personal art and commissions. I need more time to sketch out comic ideas so I don't feel rushed to make them on time. Plus I'm beginning to feel a little burned out and I have Christmas gifts to draw later.

Nothing much else to update on, I hope everyone is swell! I've been playing a lot of Baldur's Gate 3 and My Time in Sandrock and they've been good help in relaxation.

I still have my private discord up is any mutuals or avid watchers want to join (I'm picky but overall accepting).

Last call on who wants to join my private Discord server! It's for mutuals (we watch/follow each other) or people that are interactive with my art/commissions. If you're a non mutual then I might be a bit picky. No hard feelings though, I just get anxious around new people ;;

That being said, if you did not comment on my last post on this, comment below and I'll note you tonight with the link!
New mutuals are fine to join too

I'm kind of just second guessing myself after I made a separate FA for NSFW. I'm going to keep posting NSFW to it but I wanted a second opinion from you folk.

Is it better I keep NSFW separated on another account or post it on main (this is for FA).
https://strawpoll.com/3RnYlvE8Jye

I know FA has the SFW filter but idk. I initially did it out of fear because of my family but I doubt they will ever know of this site and I don't really care anymore.

EDIT: After seeing the comments and poll votes I think I'm going to begin posting NSFW onto here instead of my alt. I'll make an update image post incase people don't see this journal. Thank you for your opinions! It'll be a lot easier on me and I have doubts anyone I know irl will see it anyway.

Just wondering if any mutuals or users that I've met/commissioned me before would like to join a private Discord server I'm making? It might not be furry focused but there will be other artists, possible streams and shitposts you can check out. And I'll be posting sketches and art there early (I may act like an idiot forewarning). Also there will be a NSFW art section (separated).

I don't want it to be a huge server so I'll be very picky if you're not a mutual (we follow each other) from FA, DA or twitter.
Just putting the idea out there!

Hey just letting everyone know I'm on Bluesky too!

https://bsky.app/profile/confusedewe.bsky.social
https://bsky.app/profile/confusedewe.bsky.social
https://bsky.app/profile/confusedewe.bsky.social

And if you don't know what that is, it's another social media platform similar to twitter (allows sfw and NSFW too). It seems pretty good so far so if you wanted to try twitter but didn't want to face the horrors beyond comprehension that is twitter then I'd suggest it.

Last update, I promise!!

I know I said how depression has been hitting and I've been getting help to subside it. I'm beginning to get motivated again with art but it's slow and that's okay. But I want to be active online again and begin posting more, especially to FA since it feels like I've been too active on Twitter and I want to spread my activity.

Besides doing some irl things (like get my full drivers license) I want to post more furry art. At the least work on more adopts/designs and doodle more OC interactions. Also I might make mini comics again. I can't promise doing them right away but I don't want to give up on them.

Some more long-term goals would be for me to work on my original comic series, work on more designs and concepts. Secondly maybe make a new discord server. I did have one last year but it kind of died. If I ever open a new one, it'll be more tame and moderated. Lastly I want to do more streams. Idk, personally I don't like being watched or monitored due to personal reasons but art streams can be fun sometimes.

BTW I have a Instagram now which you can follow it HERE !! I haven't posted anything yet but I plan on using it as a art archive though it won't be much different from what I post to FA. I never used it much before since it was mobile only but seeing I can post on PC now, it seems like a good idea.

There's a street sale/event going on outside my house today so I'll be out for a few hours. I hope all of you are having a good weekend :D

I'm sorry for not being very active online!! I've been on hiatus and am still on it.

I've been very unmotivated but I've made the decision that there is something wrong with me and I need to fix it. I've been going to therapy and began taking antidepressants for the first time. It's been a month and it hasn't really been getting better but I'm still trying. I also refunded a few commissions that were in my queue (not all of them as I don't have enough funds and I already have progress done on some) because it felt unfair to have people wait so long.

Currently I feel unmotivated and a bit uncaring about everything around me. I don't find enjoyment in talking, cooking, games, movies, or even drawing. Drawing a dog is enough of an accomplishment for me because I just have such little joy when making art and that's hard when art IS the main thing that makes me happy. I don't feel any sense of satisfaction even when something good happens.

I might try to make some adopts or designs in hopes to motivate me more while I also work on comms. I don't know when I'll be open again or be fully active online.

Just writing another update post on my life so people aren't out of the loop!

So this week I actually moved back to my parents house. I was with my fiancé for a long time but eventually had to go back since I don't live with him. I booked my flight to Canada last Sunday and this week has been stressful.

I'm not super sad about it since I've done it so many times, going back and forth but I'm more disappointed. This has been the longest I've been away so ofc my parents did not maintain my 'apartment' very well. I say 'apartment' because my parents own a storefront with apartments above it and they gave me one of them instead of just a room to myself. Long story short, I basically had to run away from home to convince them to give it to me (otherwise they would just use it for hoarding/storage). Anyway, I came back to it in filthy condition and my cat in worse condition. She is okay but her fur is heavily matted, to the point where I think it might be painful to her. Plus she is overweight (she can't jump up to counters or chairs anymore). I'll have to book an appointment to get her checked once I get funds, she might have to get shaved. My hot water was also not working so we need to get someone here to fix it. My lanyard was missing that had my keys on it. I eventually found it in my parents room after them repeatedly telling me "we didn't touch it, you took it with you" and not caring. I also have back and abdominal pain and I don't know why. I hope it's not an organ issue, it's been like this for two weeks. I made a doctor's appointment but it's gonna be in three weeks. My parents told me they cleaned my apartment but the cabinets were full of roach and mice droppings and dust so I spent the whole week cleaning/disinfecting. Crime has increased a lot over the years and I see people shooting up drugs behind my house now (like ON our property) and we can't do anything about it.. I'm trying to get used to everything again but it's kind of difficult when I also have to deal with how my parents talk to me. Basically never listening to what I have to say even if it's casual and only ever talking about their shop. They begged me to come back because they were getting old and needed me to aid them but they won't even let me do anything for them or hear any advice from me.

I'm not like my dad, I'm not gonna give up on everything and just listen to my mom and accept this life but I still have to live it for now. I bottled up a lot of vents while living with my fiancé due to them being stuff I knew were gonna pass and get better. This doesn't get any better, it's been the same since I was born, the only different is that I have a safe space and more people to talk to now. That's the best it can get for now and I'm happy for that.

I keep pushing my deadlines and I'm sorry I've been so depressed and not posting much. I shouldn't be making excuses, it's not right to everyone I owe art to or follow me for content. I don't see much holding me back now but I admit, I think my view on life has drastically changed over the years. I'll try to get back to where I was in creating art and interacting with people.

Hi, I'm feeling better now!!! So I'll be focusing on working on comms again :]
I have a lot of old art to upload so don't mind me if you see me spam stuff that was made months ago and posted to twitter (which reminder, I'm more active on somewhat).

Also another update on life. My fiance's arm is still messed up but for the most part he doesn't need to see the doctor anymore or get anymore operations. He can ride his bike fine and go to work and stuff but he lost a majority of his back muscles so the only strands holding his arm up is his neck muscles. He says he can feel his neck straining if he uses his arm too much. He'll have to recover that muscle back so it might take a few years. But he's okay other than that.

Even though I still want to stay with my fiance to help with chores and his arm, I'm going to have to go back to my parents house in Canada this May. I'm sad but also anticipating it a bit. I think it would be good for me to take a break from here and focus on myself and my work. I want to improve more on my art and interact with people more. I feel as if I'm not in my comfort zone and haven't been in it for a year. I basically wake up, do chores, do work, cook and then sleep. I don't have any recreational activities to do here and I'm not motivated enough to play games/watch shows. This town is till being built so there isn't even a park to walk to in comparison to where I live where I took walks everyday. My partner is in a better place financially so I think it would be nice to indulge a bit and not have to use all my money just to pay for bills. I buy a total of $100 of things for myself a year usually haha.

Sorry if art and commissions have been slow, I've caught the flu ;w;
It started out as some muscle pain and headaches a few weeks ago but now I'm getting the main hit of it (coughing, congestion, pain and also nosebleeds probably from wiping my nose so much). So I'm pretty much bedridden until it passes. Hopefully it leaves next week.

GRAHH thank you all that commissioned me again ;w;

If you didn't get an invoice yet, I'll work on it in a moment.

Since I only have a few left to finish, I'm opening my main commissions soon! Maybe tomorrow or the next day, just a heads up.

Prices are changed as well and you can view those changes on my website or on my featured post with the commission sheet.
I don't want to take 10-15 commissions in a month and only get like $800. That's not very much especially since my fiance is still dealing with his broken arm and paying medical bills. It's still not healed yet. Sketches are still relatively cheap if you'd want to have those instead of the higher priced commissions.

Also going to open for Rude Valentines YCHs again! I'll make a post on that soon.

CLOSED NOW AHHH I will try to open more. But if you'd like a nsfw sketch, you are free to fill out this form:
https://forms.gle/yTS3Ddbcgi4ofMQD8



Small update, but money is still pretty tight right now and my fiance's arm is still not healed. We still have to pay for muscle therapy every week not to mention the medical bills. Still scrapping by.

But I'm finishing more of my commissions! And that leaves an opening to do a few more, maybe in-between the main ones I have.
If you're interested I opened up my Ko-Fi and I'm trying out the commission feature. 6 Slots for now.

https://ko-fi.com/confusedewe/commissions

Ko-fi doesn't allow NSFW sketches and I don't commissioned them that often so if you'd like one, I'm keeping the google form for it up.

Just letting you guys know I've decided to delete my Patreon and move all donations to Ko-Fi.

I don't have projects anymore and I don't like not being able to upload art right to my art accounts. I hardly make any money from it. I get bigger tips on commissions haha. It used to be a place for me to upload stuff I didn't feel comfortable uploading to the public. Obviously that has changed. I also don't advertise it but that's because I don't upload enough there for me to say "HEY LOOK AT THIS wink wink."

If you're currently pledging to my patreon, I suggest removing it or asking me for a refund if the payment has transacted. Otherwise, you're free to go to my Ko-Fi and donate monthly there or every so often if you want to support my art! Again, I really appreciate all my supporters and people that like my art. I've just been tired lately and having to upload art everyday for only a few people is tiresome.

My Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/confusedewe.

Once my commissions finish as well, I'll be using Ko-fi for "in-between commmissions," like sketches. You can also purchase a few bases I have there too!

Just popping in to wish everyone a good night :]

How was your Halloween? Hope you had a good day even if you didn't do anything spooky~

Just a heads up. Also not gonna accept any complicated commissions this round (fullyshaded or complex backgrounds). I need to relax myself while I finish the last comms that are in my queue.

Just posting it again to say that I'm more active on Twitter and usually post stuff late on FA!! So if you have a twitter account, I suggest following me there too (but I will always post my art to FA especially since Twitter is kind of crap for artists. I still love my FA audience).

Main Twitter: LINK

I also have a NSFW Twitter that I am very active on (a lot of dumb OC doodles and memes as well as NSFW art): LINK

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Another short update on my fiance's arm situation. The mood has been lackluster since he still has pain and the insurance company doesn't want to pay the 20K bill for his surgery. Says it's his motorcycle insurance's job to pay so he needs to contact them. No rush on that since he doesn't have to pay until his arm is healed. His medical leave time ran out so we talked to the doctor to get it renewed and we need to wait a week to see what the insurance company says. HOWEVER that means he needs to go back to work but when he did, they sent him back home. Said he's not allowed to come in injured but he can't get paid without work or the medical leave... He has 2 weeks of vacation/sick time (his work actually stole all of it btw even though they're only suppose to take 20% of it while on leave) so we will wait and see if we can get the insurance company to renew the leave by then or maybe his other workers can donate some of their vacation time. His workplace has fired people for less. Someone got blinded in one eye off work and they fired him after the his leave ended. My fiancé was talking with his boss and literally said that if they fire him, he will whistleblow all the shit they've done and not care what other work places will think of him after. Or sue them at least (they were sued before for stealing vacation/sick time). His boss was all for it lol. His boss also told him to his face that his higher ups wanted to fire him. He's trying to make a compromise with them but idk he can't really do much. So yeah, the mood is not good. Also the mortgage company just told him he didn't pay last month even though he did. They changed companies but the letter he got said any next payments will be automatically sent to the new company for the next two months. HUH WHERE IS IT? WHERE DID THE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS GO??? He paid this month just fine with the new people. Another thing to figure out ah.

Physical therapy started!! It seems to be helping idk. He has a lot of scar tissue built up in his arm that needs to break loose. $75 a week and that's with insurance... But it's not forever at least.

I got my fiance Kirby and the Forgotten Land and a plushie for his B-Day :) It's funny, we were talking about the Kirby bosses and said they should make a remake on the switch for one the games and THEY DID. They literally just announced a remake LMAO