My Heart and Feelings

You know I don’t know how many other Single Furs can relate to these feelings but, do you find it hard or do you get sad looking at commissions of other furs in relationships just doing fun things?, hugging, cuddling, kissing and making out, something wholesome. Man the feels hit me hard and I get sad and I hate that… I hate that my heart can get over the feeling of being lonely. Sure I have some great friends by my side but I can engage in these activities with them…. *Sigh* I just wish I could find that special someone, I wish someone would take interest in me, I guess because I don’t talk as much but I love talking, staying strong and not feeling these types of ways isn’t easy but I’m doing it somehow, man what I’d give for Love Ha Ha. The saying goes “Good Things Come To People Who Wait” So Yeah I’m I’ll be waiting and doing my thing.

You know I love the furry community for the right reasons. I’ve met and made some wonderful friends and I really do appreciate everyone who’s talked to me and knows of me. Now I know what I’m about to talk about is 50/50 but I’m going to talk about it and that is Sex and some other things.

Recently I went to FWA this year and I had fun to the highest degree possible but it was hard. I was talking to an X amount of furs that was getting me all hype for some sexual action, I’m breaking out of my shell and being more open. Never again am I getting myself hype to have sex at a con… the amount of disappointments I’ve felt that fucks with me sexually.. how am I supposed to be better at something if people keep fucking with me on a sexually mental note?!?.. like there was someone there was selling their body for sex…… and then one of my close friends was talking about how much Dick he got in during the con… and I’m like gee I can’t fucking relate.. must be nice to have a partial Fursuit or your fur suit and get fucked in it 20 times this weekend… must be nice… like it’s bad enough I can’t get any action in the state I live in (New Jersey) because everyone is selective or picky… and I’m sick of jerking it off Lmfao I’m fucking 31 about to 32, no relationship all I got is friendship and I’m grateful for my friends I’ve made along the way but I can’t fuck my friends 🤣😂. I wish furries didn’t act like that towards others, I wish I didn’t feel like I need a fur suit and make an only fans to get some attention. I’m doing what can and I was told to try and do the sit and wait game, and I’m a patient guy but Holy Shit… getting someone to be interested in me shouldn’t be this hard… but I guess somethings aren’t meant for me at all lol I’ve seen how other furs treat the people they like… and I haven’t met anyone who’s been really interested in me like that.. or maybe I’m really intimidating or just not “Popular” enough.

Man I wish I could do a lot more.. go out more, meet new furs and so much other things. I wish I could attract more furs and be part of so many cool furry moments that I see on Twitter and Telegram, but I feel as though I lack certain traits and things especially a fur suit, even though some believe you don’t need a suit and it’s true but… how many people do you see in events and party’s and stuff without a fursuit head or a partial?, not saying anything is wrong with that it’s just what I see a lot of. I’ve came close multiple times of getting a partial but I had to use the money to help a friend and other important stuff.. but I know if I had a partial or the head of Kevlar, I’d be doing a lot of funny goofy stuff in hopes of pulling people to me. I’m a fun person to be around it’s just unfortunate that I haven’t attracted the people who would be interested in me. Making friends haven’t been easy.. I reach out to others and stuff but I guess everyone is too busy to make a new friend, or life is being life and I got to keep waiting. It doesn’t help that I have a close friend and he’s always on his phone talking to others, and that’s cool and all… but it makes me feel like crap that I don’t have other furs to talk to like he does… Lol I don’t know I guess because I’m not a certain type of guy or something.. but I swear I’m approachable. One day I’ll get the stuff I want, one day I’ll be around a group of fur friends that care about me and stuff, one day I’ll be in a relationship I’m happy with before I get old hopefully before I hit 40, I’ve never dated and had 4 crushes.. and no luck at all.. *Sigh*

I know everyone has different opinions on Sex but… Sex is just as important as breathing. It helps in many many ways, and I feel like it’s affecting my life.. I feel more upset and angry, I’m feeling more sexual frustrated because nobody around me believes in certain type of sex, like intimacy sex kissing and all that stuff.. but that to the side even without that I still can’t get any sex.. I can’t even remember the last time I had a full sex session… oh wait that’s right I never had a full sex session where me and the person take turns doing stuff to each other. All in all… the lack of sex is actually annoying and another problem I gotta cope with somehow, yeah I’ve used toys left and right but it doesn’t do the job 100%, I’m not a big fan of grinder and all that.. So I guess I’m just stuck with my Left hand and the two toys I have… this is why I wish I had a Boyfriend or Girlfriend someone that can help me with my feelings instead of myself.. but mostly every fur I come across I like is either taken or not really looking and that understandable, it just sucks you know and I can’t hold them on that because “Life” and other factors… Hopefully I’ll find a way to get passed this “Horny, Lonely” stage of my life….

Hey everyone, it’s been awhile since I’ve made a Journal. I wanted to talk about the things I wish I had, in my own opinion I believe if I had these things in my life then I’d be in a better position in my life. It’s been hard on my own and I wish I had a roommate or a partner.. I’m 31 years old and yes while that’s not an issue, going so long without some type of Love and Intimacy really weighs on me. Seeing others in a relationship a happy one at that kinda gets me sad, yeah sure I can ignore it and stuff but the thoughts stay even if I don’t look or notice it. I don’t mind it at all though, it’s just a part of me that wishes I had a partner… someone to hug and hold and do stuff with, I’m tried of feeling and being alone. Sure don’t get me wrong it feels great being on my own but it’s getting to that point where I want to be with someone or be around someone like a close friend. I wish some of the people I like I could talk to them more often.. I’ve come across a lot of cool awesome furries and we chat for a bit and then stuff fall of. Maybe sometime I think it’s me but then I remember people have their own life and friends already, if they really want you apart of it then they would chat with you more, at least that’s what I think but I truly don’t know because it’s life and things just happen you know?. I wish I wasn’t invisible a lot of the times.. I really do feel like I’m. Don’t get me wrong I’m not the the attention seeking type but… I’m getting that vibe where I really feel invisible… I’m mostly home and everyone else has stuff and things to do, and live their life but… check in on a Lombax once in awhile.. Sure yeah I can hit up other furs but… I don’t wanna do it too often because I’m always home and I’m doing studying of Cybersecurity and these thoughts come up a lot.. I just wish I wasn’t so odd… I wish sometimes I could go places and do stuff.. I wish I had my own car so I don’t have to depend on others to take me places or bug them.. I wish I had a fursuit so I can make funny goofy content and talk to others.. it’s crazy because I think I can do that without one but.. I guess because of my personality I really want to do that do motivate myself if that makes any sense.. I’ll do my best because that’s all I can do, I’m just one man after all and I don’t want to push myself too hard and not feel so bad.
Thank You for taking the time to read this and I hope you have a great day!.

This is something I want to really improve on, I do my best trying to talk to other furs. It hasn’t been easy because it’s been hard making new friends to some degree. I want to expand my furry friends list and make personal friends to go to cons with because I want to go with different friends because sometimes my close furry friends go with out me and I feel left out. So to anyone reading this feel free to start a conversation with me if you think you’d get along with me. Thank you for taking the time out to read this and I hope we can become good friends. This is something I want to really improve on, I’ll do my best trying to talk to other furs. It hasn’t been easy because it’s been hard making new friends to some degree.

Well today is my Birthday and I turn 30, a new book in my life. My 20s are over and now in my 30s I hope and wish to accomplish things I didn’t get to do in my 20s, and those are quite a lot of things. For one getting my partial Fursuit!, finishing college in Engineering, possibly get a car and get my life back on track, maybe I can start live-streaming on Twitch to entertain my Furry Friends and and the community!, and as a added bonus find love at the end of all this or between(hopefully). I’m going to do my best to make these things happen because now I feel like I have a little more control on things, and I know 100% of what I want to do with my life. So everyone wish me the best!.

Man.. most of the times when I go on social media Twitter mostly, I’m seeing so many furries going into relationship’s or get married… and I’m here like some of these people are younger then me.. and I sit and think to myself, when I’m going to get into a relationship?, what’s been going on? I’ve had enough time for myself and I’ve learned more about who I’m and what I like/love. It’s been 10 years since my last one and it’s been hard to get into one. *Sigh* I want to know what it feels like to be in Love, I know a lot of people have mix feelings about it and that’s fine.. but I’ve only been in 1 relationship and it ended on a stupid note… How it ended was by me asking what my Ex-Girlfriend questions about the future and where did she see us going down the line.. and she got upset about it, and we broke it off.. now I’m fixing to be 30 on August 16 and I don’t have a significant other.. and I know people are going stay “Love Yourself first” or “I don’t need anyone” or “The Right Person Will Come Along” man I’ve heard that one so many times, I guess I’ll keep waiting then..

Looking at my FA page honestly when I made it, I didn’t think it would grown to this amount of Watchers 187 and still going. I was thinking maybe I can get to 200 watchers by January 1 2022, maybe it’s possible but I would love to hit that milestone, if I can’t hit that milestone by the new year that’s fine, I have some many wonderful people watching my page and I appreciate everyone!. From the bottom of my heart Thank You, and I’m glad everyone likes Kevlar he’s come a long way from a thought in my head, to my Fursona, so here’s to many many more!. Love You All!