Welp I'm feeling a bit better ! Been working on a song that I'm writing in spanish and its coming together slowly . Have a second job and might get a third depending tho. This whole DEI nonsense is ridiculous.

Alas, I still have my conflictions and I still have my moments. But I feel good now for the moment . Thank you to whom I shall not name . You know who you are ~ : )

Any who, thats my mental check .

A quick edit to those who have been watching me closely on discord and keeping me company, I do wanna say that I appreciate you immensely. Cheese my dude, your amazing and pover your an angel thank you .

It is becoming increasingly difficult, not being able to speak to somebody that you love and care about. You’re best friend….they linger like a shadow that replaces yours because they’re all you think about. Makes it worse when they give up on you…. It makes the nights harder to sleep because you feel that you are wrong or that you’ve done something wrong even though you try to appease them even though you try to change certain things…..

The only thing you’re left with is your thoughts and silence and the brutal truth that they’re perfectly fine without you. Abandoning you….. I know I’m not perfect I am very much so flawed. I just want this pain to go away… I just want to be in peace so I don’t have to worry about the men, love, friends, or anything. And you can try and distract yourself but when it’s time to sleep, that’s when the demons scream the loudest …….Anyway that’s my mental check…..

Make sure if you have people suffering from depression or the feeling of abandonment, let them know you love them and hold them tightly cause maybe love is the only thing that they need…..

I will be scraping my comic TLYM and other projects I had intended and possibly might delete it as its fuel to my ongoing battle of depression, and how personal it is to me...... regardless, I will be attempting to draw more as a result to attempt to get better with drawing yautjas and will have more I guess lewd stuff with figures as well. All in all, this is not easy and has been a rough 2 months and some change currently with depression so im doing this to try my hardest to distract myself. If you want to save the comic and Idk possibly use it for inspiration for your own story, by all means .

Lastly, I will be making/brainstorming at some point ,other comic ideas hopefully Ill be better at drawing by then but if not which I doubt I will be, ill use the figures again.

But anyway thats really about it ......

Been doing a lot of thinking, and a thought occurred to me and more so of a appreciation for those of you who have followed me if I was to depart or more so level up in the next life, I just wanna say that I appreciate all of you for engaging, talking with me about lewd stuff cause were horn balls like crazy lol but most importantly for supporting me and being there for me, I can’t express any more gratitude enough and words can’t distinguish the energy of gratitude I have for you guys. I hope I wasn’t too much to handle lol I know I can be a handful sometimes emotionally especially 🤣😅

But anyway , yeah….. thank you <3
For everything ~

Hey guys.... I am making this journal to inform everyone that I will be discontinuing the future projects I have made and planned to make thus far..... I do apologize. My mental health is getting worse and will be in a excruciatingly fragile state for the time to come and working on the comic will not make things better. Words of the wise, I should not fall in love. I dont deserve it and I never will..... For myself at least ......

A few days ago, my landlord had a pest inspector come for a unit inspection. To see where pest might be coming in and out from in each unit and I just so happen to have had pet rats that I loved so much. When I came back the following day after work, this was two or three days ago. I found my rats dead because the pest control guy left poison out right in front of their enclosure or cage, and one of them grab a hold of it and it seems like they ate from it and I found them lifeless ….

The four of them were my pride and joy. They were always something I could do and play with and take care of and just stay overall focus, ignoring the rest of the problems and my depression. They always love to snuggle and always squeak every time I pick them up, looking like they were waiting for me to lift them …..

Today I’m throwing away their home . It stings like a motherfucker . Yeah I can sue the bastard , but nothing will bring them back… they were the sweetest little fluff balls I’ve had the privilege to house and to love…

I’m debating internally whether or not if I should do this, but I’m planning to making another comic. I don’t know. Honestly, I just had an intrusive thought about when I say I’m making a comic. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth because there are dozens of amazing artists on here and I’m only taking pictures of my figures that is already made. I’m not drawing them.

Sorry, I’m sidetracking

Much like the first comic this one will be inspired By what’s going on internally and in real life. This will take place a few days or a week after the events of the first project… meh saying project sounds better but anyway, yeah …..

Not entirely sure if this will be my last post in regards to the anticipation of the next story however, We will see…..

Hello, my dear followers and friends alike. *sighs* …. So as some of you, whom of which I keep in constant communication with on discord, may know I have been battling an elongated amount of time with depression. And I think that for the time being as much fun as I have posting pictures and stuff with my predator figures and doing that little comic was for me Unfortunately, it did not help.

With that said, I am planning to distance myself from the website. I am debating whether or not I should close this profile perhaps start a new one. I’m not entirely sure if I do start a new one it’ll be under the name of my discord if you guys have me Under by : yautjaenthusiast09 . Will be my new fur affinity account if I choose to make a new one if you want to follow me there that is perfectly fine. I welcome it. If not, that is OK too. I’m not an artist anyway.

This is something that I’ve fought before, but never like this and for me it’s gotten to the point where I’ve attempted on my life two times and I mean, in short, this shit is no joke and I don’t know where this is coming from. Well I do, but I’m not gonna get into detail. But I just wanna end with this. I appreciate every single one of you. You guys are absolutely amazing. Hopefully when I come back, I’ll be 10 times better but it’s hard to say now…. And today of all days, it definitely got worse for me for personal reasons. This battle just got started.

For those of you who do battle depression reach out to people because this shit is truly no fucking joke. *saluts* Stay safe everyone watch yourselves take care of yourselves and love yourselves and spend time with those that you love because life is too damn short for some….

If you wanna reach me, my discord is available as well as my Facebook though I will be inactive on discord for the time being as well. I’m mostly available on Facebook. Feel free to add me up In case you wanna keep contact.

Well the start of this year has been a bit rough and not even two months in. Mental state is bouncing up and down . To make things worse yesterday, found out a cousin of mines is in critical condition due to the fires in LA . not being able to do anything hurts the most. I’ve thought about attempting and I’m not succeeding in that thankfully, but it is a thought that passes through my mind very consistently as of late and I’ve been wanting to because I don’t know how to deal with this depression shit. I have someone to talk to, but it’s not enough. Mostly I just feel alone and by myself . No love ,nothing. Now I will make this note that this is not to Garner attention. I’m not asking for any type of dumb putty or anything. This is just me having a venting tool and for those I don’t talk to on a regular basis like I used to well yeah, you know what’s going on. When I’m like this, I push people away, but at this moment to reach everyone at the same time I also do these journals. This is my second one regarding mental health and the state of my mind and where I’m at emotionally. The people that I care about I lose IE my bestie(cousin) and actual relationships /friendships , and I don’t see value and myself hence my attempts at my life. I don’t know what to do from trying to do everything I can for me to get better. I distract myself all the time And musically since it’s what I love to do and make up I’m genuinely scared about so much in life not just my own, but just life in general. As for this random depression episodes , yeah , idk . Just be safe Y’all.

My lovely followers I cannot stress to you the importance of mental health and ensuring that you are sane and finding things to distract you. For the past couple weeks and months, it has been a difficult journey as of late and for those of you who know and those of you who have reached out to check up on me, I really do appreciate it and I can’t stress how much I love you guys for that. The past couple days, I thought that I was doing all right. I was keeping myself busy, staying distracted and keeping myself focused. Unfortunately, these uncertain feelings and depression and anxiety is starting to come back so I’m putting this out there for those of you who I speak to on discord, It’s getting to me again . In case I do not reach out, you know why. I don’t know what’s triggering this. I’m trying to find a reason to block it before it enters my mind, but it’s just becoming more prominent as of late and I don’t know why. I am going to be OK however do not worry. I’m just making sure that people closest to me are aware of this situation in case I don’t respond. It’s not because I sent myself to the shadow realm I’m just trying to desperately find the ways and means to keep myself busy to get away from depression . This is also a slight venting tool and journal, and perhaps I will start doing this more often…….. Not sure ….

Good morning everyone hope everyone is doing good and having a safe and productive week before I explain what the situation is I just want to say thank you to those of you who watched me and who has been very interactive in faving My character and such I really do appreciate it so thank you so much and to my newfound friends I love you thank you for being very supportive💚

So here’s the situation my mom’s house was recently recently worked on Buy a general contractor who supposedly knew about plumbing and house repair, which he did not know anything of he messed up the main pipe that leads into the septic tank and long story short I don’t know what the hell he did but now we have a gnarly leak in my mom‘s basement not only that, but he broke pieces of the wall in the dining area and try to patch it up alongside with the roof of the living room did a horrible patch job and now every time somebody walks into the bathroom, the roof creeks and leaks. The house is foundation is very old and my mom’s paranoid as well as I am due to that fact and possibly having the roof fall .

So I am asking for help whatever you can donate will eventually lead up to the goal .Me and my brother we did find somebody but can’t pay for it on our own because we both pay rent and it’s a bit difficult at the moment So that’s why I am starting this campaign in hopes that I can relieve some tension off of my mother and get this problem fixed before more problems come and I don’t want her to worry about that. If you can’t donate means share the hell out of the link it would mean the world to me if anyone out there can help in anyway . I do appreciate you taking this time to read this if you have any questions feel free to message me! Thank you so much !

Ok so I'm awaitingbdesperately on destiny 2 . Can't freaking wait. I am so excited it's been an amazing 3 years with this franchise. Looking forward to it. If anyone would like to add me on psn it's joejmarkillya09 . Feel free ! :3 would also love to have some furs in my clan as well for raids.

I'm going to acting/modeling school tomorrow:3 #hyped

Just a quick hello from yours truly ^^ Wow ! What a bloody year it has been. Crapy election, lots of celebrity gone with their legacy still in our hearts . Let's all be the ones to start this coming year a great one . To finish off I would love to say thank you to all who have been there for me once again when I going through cancer :) I appreciate it so much and every single one of you ♡ I have a dear friend who is also battling this terrible disease :usericonlekitty2: please visit her page , pray if you can, you can also donate to if you like to help her on her journey for the cure. I just started working now and it has been great. Getting ready for a trip . It's gonna amazing . First time in cruise. O.o hope I don't get sick x3 But just an update guys and hope you all have a on derail and blessed thanksgiving and holidays :) be safe ! ^^

Now with 2015 aside , now it's time start fresh and new. Let's give 2016 the best of what we are, and make this new year great. Something I must say however , I am soon thankful to those of you who has kept me in your prayers and have been there for me during my whole journey in fighting cancer and I just can't express enough of much I love each and every single one of you I call my dearest friends even those I don't even talk to or know personally but much love and blessings to you all. And again thank you so much ♡☆♡☆♡ . Hopefully this year I'll be able to get me a fursuit . Honestly this husky is in need of one xD . Anyway hope yall have a great night , stay blessed and be safe out there for those who are turning up^_^ .

With much love Jose/aka Maliryu☆☆☆

Tomorrow marks my first day as a cancer treatment fighter. I am nervous, not sure what to expect from it due to the side effects. But I am strong in faith and I know I shall over come any obstacles thrown at me . I hope to keep all of you updated soon !

So after a stressful day , finally got the surgery done. I am back home ,resting and problem free. Somewhat.the doc said I have a swallan lymph node that might have to be extracted . Which mean I could have cancer else where but not to sure to say. . But either way I shall be cured and the doc is quite sure of it :)

I m officially a licensed COSMETOLOGIST woo woo! !!!!!! =^_^= I can't believe that I made it happen . Now on my next mission I'm moving to San Francisco to experience new people and places . And to chill with my step dad. ^_^ I'm glad to have made my mom happy :') I honestly couldn't have done it with out her :3

So as I have stated on my previous journal ,I'm moving my work to Weasyl. Starting new. So to speak x3 . That will be my hair page and my official. I will be on this account just to fav and stuff. Hope all is well :)

Hello everyone !

So this might be coming to a close soon. I know I haven't been very active in a while and I apologize for it . Needless to say, I have been ok for the most part. I am about to graduate from beautician school at Empire soon to be a licensed cosmetologist <3 I also started working in a salon at Upper Darby PA in Adrianna Michelle's International Beauty Studio . So far it has been slow might move to Haircuttery soon.

As of about me and my diagnosis . I have been experiencing some pain in my left testicle for about two weeks now. I went to a local free clinic here in Philly and the doctor ran some tests. What came out was not a certain diagnosis but could be a probable sign of testicular cancer. I am very emotional as of this point only cause I might loose one. Im trying to cope with this news and hope and pray that it is not that and its Epidymititis or a case of a mere minor thing that antibiotics cant handle. Im scared . Im still on with the pain and its very nerve wrecking .

What I could and would ask of ye who I call my dearest friends here, is just prayer that this may pass and Ill be recovered . I just need prayer as I go along with what I need to do to go on with this.

As far as my account goes in here , I might bring this whole thing to a close. I realized that I am not active in here as I thought I would be. Much needed change is necessary for myself as of now. This is a definite move I am making so i would no longer be here . For those of you who have my facebook you can most certainly contact me there or if you have my number. But effective immediately by the end of next month I will delete my account from here . PM me if you would like to have my number or add me up on Facebook.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this . I am highly grateful .

hi guys and gals ! So I'm making plans to go to furbowl, but unfortunately I have no means of transportation x.x So I was wondering if anyone can take me and I'll pay for gas :) if it's possible. I'm not one to ask for favors but my significant other convinced me other wise X3 but yes if anyone can just msg me ! I will be grateful for the help ^_^

Ok so Idk if I have posted it on here ,but I have been doing more research in what I wanted to be doing. A few things I have considered :
Time
Years
Income

I was going to go to the Community College of Philadelphia ,to earn my major as a instructor of music and earn my Associates .
But in order for me to do so, I need to take a whole year of additional courses first, then the following two "years" I earn my degree in music and performance . I do not have "time" for I need something that will get me studying and working on my profession.

So! I did more research and found Empire. With references of mom, my aunt ect, I have a whole family that is in the beauty industry ^_^ So I was told by Mrs.Byrd, one of the administrators of the school that after a certain amount of hrs, I will begin working and earning my "income".

So to put it short , yesterday I went and got myself registered in Center City Philadelphia on Chestnut Ave. Im so darn happy ! >< I start on the 25th of this month :3 So yup I have been very busy . Updating this profile is gonna be some hassle x3 But I will in time :3

A BIG shout out to a people :P
 reizo thank you for keeping my head up when i needed it and thank you so much , for the support you have given me and encouraging me to find better you truly are and I shall say , an amazing cat <3 <3 <3


And those who I know who truly mean the world to me, you know who you are , thank you ! For being the best people in my life .

And last but not least, thank you mom ,my stepdad, my auntie, who said i can do it <3 I love you very much <3 And god for making this a possibility :') I am truly blessed <3 !

Can't believe it just a few days till I graduate from that hell hole school agora x.x Then Im going clubbing with my sister <3 Ugh its gonna be awesome. The only thing is that my stepdad won't be present for my walk :\ Im gonna miss him v.v But yeah :) Must be strong for the big day !

Oh so! How is everyone doing i hope all is well :3 So i dont think I have said, but im graduation from high school and Im gonna have the ceremony at Hershey Big Stadium. I think I said that backwards but oh well x3 ANYWAY!!!! It be cool to meet some fellow furs out :3 Idk this is random x.x what am I thinking >< But it would be cool :3