I wouldn't say it was not an eventful year, it was not that much for me, to be honest. Other than some few hiccups in the end and some betrayals from a bunch I thought were friends, and some relatives that aren't here anymore I don't think much happened.
I know at least, compared to other folks I know I'm having a decent time, not that bad I guess. I'm thankful for that.

This next year my resolution is pretty much to get a fursuit, yes I know I've been saving for a lil too but I guess I'm like bout halfway there so I guess I can push for more comms and stuff to get to the other line.
I know my stuff is not that popular but perhaps I should do a bigger effort in pushing it out there, and I'm constantly trying to improve despite that I don't make radical changes, I prefer to take small steps in that regard.

I don't have many other wants for next year despite that material wish and getting better at art, I don't think anything else non material would come and hopefully nothing much bad, but one never knows haha.
While I do have a bunch of anecdotes and fun stuff I don't consider myself fun enough to share, who knows, those that want to know me would do so, but am introverted too much lately so I can't pay attention to everyone I guess.
I did my fair effort of wishing as much people I can new years at least on steam, I don't know if I can do that on IM, I tend to get lost if I do so, better poke me if I just don't reply or something (I always reply if I can lol)

That's all not much else

-Sjru

Seems people are flocking away from twitter so I'll leave my link here tho I already posted before
https://bsky.app/profile/sjru.bsky.social

I do also post on mastodon
https://meow.social/@Sjru

But other websites are here:
https://linktr.ee/Sjru

A trip to memory lane, reflections and resolutions



The year has come to an end, once again, as usual and expected the wheel of time continues it’s cyclical journey.

This past year, both collectively and personally, felt like navigating a rowdy sea. Deep changes are being made in my country, which it’s facing its own trials, and while I had a lil rough journey I wouldn’t dare to say it’s at the same level as others have faced. I know I faced woes specially early on, but I did had the strength to resurface and stand up again.



Hopefully things are looking up, so today I did an extra effort in sending positive messages to those I could, even if those haven’t heard from me in a while.

I took a lil trip down memory lane, to those that faded away, aren’t here, looked at old messages, cheers, joys. I did see those that hate me, which is fine I guess, but with time I hope people can learn to leave old feelings sehind and start anew. I’d love to see more understanding instead from those that attribute malice as a first thought instead thinking deeper on what’s going on around them.



Mind you the amount of people that I did art for the past and now just hate me is not small, but likewise seeing some that started small on art and I just gave a lil advice are big now or those that just started on a hobby completely blew it over and are doing great which is nice too.

It heartening to know that seemingly small actions can have a significant impact over time. For me, I find joy in the progress and improvement of others, even if I ain’t the most dedicated or accomplished.



Looking ahead, I ask: what comes next in the coming year? Last year resolutions were not that met with fullfilment so I’ll try to make it a clear goal: I want a fursuit, so I’m saving for that. Once I do I could try to save to go to cons internationally, so that’s a nice thing to look forward to.

Naturally I’ve been improving on art gradually I think, I’m quite proud of that, despite being a lazy dragon.



There’s not much else really, just hope for the best, and have good positive vibes.

-Sjru

Doing a raffle on Twitter and Bluesky!!

Want to join? 👀

https://twitter.com/Sjru_st/status/.....93217088237743

https://bsky.app/profile/sjru.bsky....../3ke6trd4o5b24

I like to share them so I also don't lose who made them ^^ sorry for spammerinos

2022 it’s wrapped up and done, with 2023 coming in comes new ideas, resolutions, objectives



2022 was okay for me, not bad at least, better than last year for sure, with the pandemic plateauing and fading away we can start trying to move on from that ugly chapter.

On my case luckily I did not lose anyone close nor family members but I can’t say the same for othes I guess.

I did get to go in august to the second time I ever gone to a con, ARff 2022, which was a blast and I met again some amazing frends, and in decembeR I finally got new components for my PC, fullfilling the long quest to be able to actually play last gen games and stuff with next gen graphics, haha.

Over the year I also did improve art wise, I rthink considerably increasing my level on painting more than 5 levels or so, I guess I can say I’m slightly above average still tho as my art does not get a lot of interest on sites like twitter so am not there yet on pairing with other friends of mine, still working on it I suppose.



And now, leaving the past year behind I’m going to set some resolutions, last year I did want to learn animation or 3d I guess that did not go as planned, I was ‘too lazy’ and I did not consider me good enough on art to divert attention on that yet, we’ll see, I have different plans for things I want to achieve this year however:



I want to save for a fursuit, that would be nice, they are pricey so I’d have to get more commissoins goin, so I’d end up publiziing those more.

Ideally I’d like to also save to go to a con outside my country AFTER I get a fursuit, so it depends on how things goes on that.

Upgrading my perks and levels on art, that goes without saying

And last but not least I know that sounds corny but I’d like to find someone to love and stuff I have been emotionally lonely for long enough, guess I’d have to see if I can actually ‘fall in love’ like they say at all shrug, we’ll see, I’d have to look faraway for it I suppose



Overall I think expectations for this years are doable, depending, I still try to not up expectations that much, cuz in the end I’ll look back and laugh again, and you never know what this thing called life has for you in the long term.



-Sjru

https://meow.social/@Sjru I'll crosspost with twitter n stuff might get telergam channel idk

Yay balloons am a wizard nowww!! wee!

A raffle, it's a raffle
https://twitter.com/Sjru_st/status/.....81024883011588

go join

https://artfight.net/~Sjru

Will try to do painted icons~

Merry Christmas to all! (Or happy holydays for those that don’t have it)

As the year draws to a close I get to do a lil rewind of the year for myself and in this case it was a bit more uneventful than 2020.

Restrictions are going to be eased so hopefully in 2022 I’d get to go to cons or something! The forecast in that regard is not that bad. And with the lil group of friends I have IRL things have been giddy!



Personally I have been constantly progressing on art, not in an explosive way (because I’m lazy and I don’t want to over exert myself) but it’s going there.

I did get a new tablet at the beginning of the year (A cintiq 24) and I also did a course of painting and stuffs which I think it helped me in several ways so that’s a yay.



Mood wise? I’ve been fine mostly! I did find out that is not ppl disliking my art (mostly) but twitter not liking me, (duh algorithm) tho I somehow managed to make something that at least got a little traction so that was a milestone for me at least! Here’s hoping next year the algorithm will hate me less!



And yes I guess it was not all just good vibes, (and excuse me, I really don’t like to use swear words but I guess I have to make an exception) special shoutout to Remix for singlehandledly destroying my faith on long term friendship, messing my drawtober vibes, shittalking about me to your friends, being self centered, gaslighting and dismissing my emotions, your ability to go from best friend to I hate you in 5 minutes while keeping a stoneface and not giving place to reason is extraordinary, it did seem that your obsession with the Joker really paid off. So I had to give up being a moniker “dragon villain” because I can’t become a real one unlike that. </3



Anyways to end in a good tone, I have high hopes for new year, for one I expect to go to the local con in my country, and who knows with some motivation I may even look further? It really depends how things go tho the sentiment it’s there. I do also have expectations to get a new GPU, and after that a VR thing so I could participate on activies like VR chat (After I get a model for it of course), hecc I may even dabble in 3D x3 who knows!

Of course getting a GPU right now it’s almost impossible but we’ll see next year if things get more accesible to acquire! (Or at least, find a friend that is willing to help me out)

And ultimately hopefully get more attention on my art and getting better at it! Maybe faster? (I like spend a lot of time on just sketches haha)



Anyways that’s most of it all, I recon I could be wriging more about things and I do have in mind several things I’d like to talk about but not often the same motivation to do so.

But that’s all!

~Sjru

O hecc! I'm older now ;w;
But I'll get to have sushi! so -yay-!

---- I also have several things I'd love to talk about and write about so I'll do when I get time tsk tsk

Here :3 https://twitter.com/Sjru_st/status/.....52025959436295

Finally this year is over... was icky eh?

My New Year Resolutions are:

Not feel that much alone (emotionally)
Improve on art
Improve on art enough so ppl stop ignoring my art UwU


Now I hope the situation normalizes enough that I can actually buy stuff from outside eh.

On twitter of Norse :3

https://twitter.com/Sjru_st/status/.....11743241875456

When I was a cub I had some magazines that talked about how by then the “future” on 2020 would be great, with automated homes and robots and suchs. A bit naive predictions however, we are in 2020 and, I have to say, we had a quite hecky year.

---

Personally, for me, we didn’t have it that bad, at least on my town, unlike others. The strife of this year was felt hard tho, particularly in the lack of ability to purchase some things I’d need (like a new tablet) cuz the goverment is stupid.



My birthday came and go, and again with no surprises so I guess I’ll keep my “No gift art for bday” next year as I didn’t see anything in kind from those I know, oh well.

I don’t think I got like, any of my wishes last year completed, which is a shame, but it’d be like that sometimes haha; so am still just doing the same. What a year!

I’d probably wish for the same of last year and see where it goes, I have little hope, however 2021 will have a very tough time if it wants to be worse than 2020 so it’s likely it will be better.

Hopefully.

Oh yeah and I still think ppl ignore my art on twitter. Oh well



~Sjru

I may write a blog later.

But yay I'm getting older to [redacted]

Read here:
https://twitter.com/Sjru_st/status/.....53940209098752 <<

o yeah I forgot I had a page in furry online website XD lol
Seems ppl are moving on there too so I link it here
https://furrylife.online/profile/536-sjru/ <

uwu

Well Postybirb updated so I'll mirror my stuff on Pillowfort when I post new arts uwu:
https://www.pillowfort.social/Sjru

You can follow me there if you happen to be in.

Won't be posting old arts, too lazy! 🐲

"Haha you are silly”

Or rather, a comment about how online I don’t ‘act’ serious.

---

Oh, -I am- Serious, at least IRL... But life, can be boring, dull, unintersting, and lately, is bleak and dark, you get blasted by negativity more often than not. And I ask, for those that want ot go online to at least move away from that negativity, is it really good to also encounter the same bleakness anywhere you look?

You get tired, I get tired from that too. I found that acting more ‘pawsitive’, or cheerful, gives better prospects with others because, frankly you don’t want to stick with someone that’s a downer all the damn time. And I know that.



Depression, of course, It's complicated and you are lilely not going to ‘cure’ someone from being cheery; HOWEVER being or acting as a positive light can bring someone that’s feeling bad into a slightler better mood and I think that’s a win.



For me; yes obviously I’m ont “happy” IRL (at least all the time), because typing words is easy, but having a mindset a bit harder. By doing it a lot perhaps I convince myself of being better. Does not mean I want to “deceive” but I’d rather act a bit more cheerful that I am in reality and make others feel better than the opposite.



Personally it works, maybe for someone else, acting in a way to end up convincing yourself of having a more positive mindset, can also work. Can... everyone is different, but having someone to be by your side and tell you nice things every so and then is priceless.

Compliments help a lot c: (When appropiate)



~Sjru

It may sound like a simple question but the answer will vary between ppl.

---

For some, a friend is someone you spend time with and have things in common, for others it can be either, or nothing, just someone you talk to, for some websites like Facebook or Steam a ‘friend’ is just someone you click to add, and that’s it you’re friends!.
Yes, those are definitions, so mileage may vary so the answer is not very clear, (certainly not just someone you added on a service tho).

I may sound like a broken clock because I think I wrote about this before I’ll itinerate; I believe friendship goes both ways, and it’s a mutual desire to be in contact, do things together, just chat or whatever. For some, how often you desire or those interaction happens is what defines a friendship from an acquantinace or just someone you talk to every so and then. Whcih is fair.
You may talk to that guy once every week but if the interaction always are onesided or with few interest, perhaps it’s time to reconsider if doing that is a good use of your time.
A friendship requires time, mental energy, effort to pour into, enough that the brain desires to hang out with that person, or do anything, really. Sharing emotional moments can help establish a link, which eventually will develop in nostalgia. (Tho if those emotional moments are negative perhaps you wouldn’t want to keep with that person).

I mean you perhaps can remember a notable friend of long time ago, maybe you are not in contact anymore but if the situation were to happen again, the link would be there and certainly it may be easier to restablish a friendship.

“So you’re saying that if I spend time thinking I doing things with someone or just talking I’ll develop a friendship?” Well, yes and no.

You know how some ppl tend to think the youtuber or streamer they interact with is “their friend”? The person spend time with the streamer, but the streamer does not. It’s one sided. The feeling has to be mutual.

So if the person you interacting with do not show interest in a real friendship, it probably not happen. And if it were to happen, it would be in a much longer timespan than if you were to interact with someone easygoing for you, and that may not be in your mental interest nor be a good idea overall (Being pushy is not a good idea)

Obviously not saying it’s bad to talk to someone that does not desire or you do not desire to end up friends, you do that all the time, You will always have way more acquaintances and ppl you talk to every so in a while than ‘friends’ and of those you most likely will have that person or persons you talk to the most or enjoy your time the most (which defacto would become your bestie, right?)

“So if I say I want to be friends with X person, I can do it”?
Yoiu can’t force friendship, and if you have that mentality you probably will end up in situations where animosity is generated (drama) than if you just were to act natural to ppl and see where the feelings develop.

“So what’s your point then? What’s the tl;dr?”

Well I talked about similar subjects before in other blogs, so you can read those for more of what I think, but in short; “if there are mutual interests, and both parties are willing to do do activities(/spend time together,, a friendship may develop naturally”

Sounds... common sense? I guess (Is it?)?? But then again you would be surprised about the amount of things ppl don’t know about common sense, so it’s good to spew it out sometimes.

~Sjru

Apathy, indifference. Negative emotions that are more often found online than IRL. This is, because dehumanizing someone and neglecting to take in account someone’s feelings is very easily done without knowing when all you know and see about this person is an egg as an icon, a bunch of text or a talking duck.

----


It’s easier to be ‘rude’ or dismissive to something or someone your brain considers inferior (Say stock avatars, names etc) even if you have a belief there’s someone behind the display. Many ppl been burned out already interacting with bots that a natural reaction to ‘the new’ may be of direct hostility or indifference.

Well I mean, why wouldn’t you? You are playing CSGO and after a while you see 5 invites from ‘pretty russian girls’ that are offering you free skins if you enter this sketchy website that looks exactly like Steam. Soone or later you will realise that blonde Anna that always add you after your game is not actually trying to give you a gift –nor getting into your pants- but that she’s just a program and now your items are gone.

Instinctively now all the ‘pretty girl avatar’ are just bots, anyone with a “?” avatar is a bot, anyone with the stock image on twitter is a bot or does not take the site seriously and that perhaps the ad of sexy single dragons in your area is actually a scam.

Obviously, not everyone is there to get you, in fact if you enter paranoi mode and start treating everyone with suspicion just because you can’t see their face, chances are you are going to run into drama sooner or later or just face little connection with others online outside of ppl you know IRL.

You ‘must’ be able, or at least be open to the idea of trust in some regard with others online. People, behidn the screen, that you have not seen IRL yet, maybe you have seen a picture or something, but not gave a real hug or whatever.

The will of trust, to inreact, is needed to make friendships, relationships, and good things. If you outright close the door, chances are nothing deeper will develop with those pp,l.

That is something that will happen even if you don’t want tho, you can’t be friends with everyone. You can’t spare emotional ‘brain time’ to every person you meet; which I guess it’s fine, some ppl handle it better than others.

You can chose!!, but the problem I am going to poke today is about appareances..
Yes it’s easy to be ‘friendly’to anyone or everyone you meet, you can say nice things and stuffs. Deep down you don’t always mean anything you say, it’s just nice to be nice , it allows ppl to cohexist better.

Now, if you share common ground, a space, a group, server, do things together sometimes, you ‘would expect’ or the other would expect, that some sort of friendship, emotional response, or anything to develop over a certain amount of time. Some ppl develop connections easily, easier, hard or (even never!) specially online, but due to human nature, this feeling often is not at the same level for both parties at the same time. Some might think the other is just an acquaintance while the other believes it’s their best friend.

You may be able to speed up positive emotional reactions with someone, but genuine connections take time. So yeah you can’t be instantly be friends with someone, but you can act like it, (May make things easier). Things are going well.

But then suddenly, a negative interaction happens; a discussion, argument, disagreement, whatever, can be small tiny, insignificant thing, but enough to make the person that considered the other “just another one” while the other considered them a friend, to flip out and do more negative interacitions (like a block or ignoring etc). Yes person A, did not really care or considered person B a friend, and couldn’t be arsed or wanted to spare emotional time to overcome a hurdle; “it’s not worth it” (Despite saying being a minor thing that can be easily talked out). Obviosly not everyone reacts or have these same interactions so it’s just an example; person B ends up thinking they lost a friend or ends up expecting a emotional reaction from A that did not care in the end, and never happens.

Well A now managed to disregard the emotions of another person, perhaps made it easier by the online environment. From A, they did not care enough to be have the empathy , the want to overcome any hurdle, nor any need to know if their actions hurted the other person. Unless person B tries to talk again (Perhaps making things worse) nothing will happen.

Now Person B is more isolated, sad, and lots of negative emotions. Without repercusions is probably A will never care or realise the negative damage they have done.

These kind of negative interactions happen all the time online, and you may have done that several times without realising. Because yes, in the end is harder to empathize via text and just seeing a cute icon as your mental image.BUT you can try to recognise negative interactions you are doing and reflect on if the exchange you did with someone had negative consecuences for that person.

Or you can be just like “Meh I will ‘never’ meet that person so whatever”. Perhaps there will be no consecuences to be indifferent. We’ll see

~Sjru

The first thing you want to before approaching this subject is ask “Am I entitled to this person’s time”?


----

Usually, that’s a no. You’re not entitled to their time.

Time, is a rare commodity, the likes that you can’t get more and always have a set amount of. The cases where you are ‘entitled’ to someone’s time usually lies when you compensate it somehow (AKA pay) or something similar.

So when someone engages in a conversation with you, they’re spending part of that time (And accompanied mental energy) to you. That tend to mean “it’s a privilege, and not a right”.

Now on topic, “Should you get upset if someone leaves you on read, ignores your messages, etc”?

Normally, no, not really, the question should be “Is that person worth MY time?”. Clearly, if you get ignored, left on read, all the time, you’re not worth their time, why should you spend your time on such individual?

The answer usually lies in attachment, feelings, emotions, trust that you did (or think you did) build with such person.

Again, this is assuming you don’t have a real entitlement for a response (Like you paid for a commission or something).

You can get explanations (or excuses) for such chat behavoiur; “I’m busy” means that, or rather, to be more practical “What I’m doing is worth more of my time than what your interaction will give to me and I can’t afford to spend that time on you”. Yes it sounds a bit cold if you phrase it like that and it would be wrong to assume malice when someone claims to be busy every time you try to interact. After all, if you get a response at all, that person cared enough to actually let you know that they’re in fact, busy and unable to spare time with you. In some sense, this person spent time to tell you they can’t spend more time.

Yeah, 30 seconds, 1 minute, or something spent in letting you know... then you want to know when that person is ‘not busy’ so you can engage with them.

“I’m always busy!” you hear. Someone saying that is just more blatantly telling you are not worth their usual time to engage. Because a normal person has some downtime in a day, or at least some spare moments to do something else. If that is the case, you’re not having enough priority for even those moments. And that is fine, you really can not be friends with everyone.

Now, what if, instead of getting the privilege of being told this person is ‘busy’ or unable to engage, you’re met with a non response, or “left in read”?

You should not worry, it happens to everyone. You can forget to reply, or accidentally just read and forget, or X thing happened or whatever. You should not have to explain if it happens ocassionally, nor should you question “hey why you did not reply” if it happened once or twice. That’s kinda rude.

Before going further on this topic, I should –attempt- to address the differences between “leaving on read” and just non response.

In some chat services, like telegram or whatsapp, when someone clicks on a message (AKA “read” it) you can see a notification on it. This can promote social anxiety or discomfort in some scenarios. The alternative, is not showing this, which happens like in Discord or Steam.. If I have to be honest, there’s not a “better way” because feeling ignored in a service that you don’t know if you have been read or not have different responses in different individual, likewise feeling ignored while knowing the other person read your stuff has another response. Some ppl may have stronger emotions if they’re unable to “know” if their message has been seen (like in discord) while others enjoy not having such information. Mileage seems to vary wildly, so don’t take anything I say as gospel or something

Back in topic; many, many reasons could explain why X person has a tendency to leave on read, or ignore messages, or showing little interest.

Drama, tend to occurs because the other user assumes malice, while the answer more often than not is something simple. Thinking bad intentions is an easy thought for someone that don’t know much about these kind of social interactions or just have a hard time reading cues. Which tend to happen to young ppl and or someone that, has a lack of social experience (AKA someone shy, introverted, mental issues, whatever)

If there has not been “bad vibes” before, or you have no reasons to suspect foul play, someone leaving on read often or ignoring or something in between (Showing no interest) is that. You tried to get close to that perosn, but you don’t click enough for them to warrant their time, you can keep up a bit, but trying to keep up with someone that ignores you will end up looking clingy or annoying.

Cues like a lack of willing to keep up a conversation, or starting oner, or interacting at all, followed by times of ignoring are just signs that it may be time to move on to someone that will appreciate your time.

And I think , yes it could sound sad if you felt you “had a thing” going with X person, but you can’t force a friendship. It’s a 2 way street. You can try, but there will be a time that you should know that you shouldn’t push more. And I guess that many have to learn the hard way those cues and intricacies, and other ppl may never learn those and always end up being a “troublemaker”, who knows.

So yeah, that guy in that chat that always speaks weirdly, have strange mannerism and tend to pick up needless fights? Probably have some issues, don’t immediately assume malice, some ppl do need help, but you shouldn’t strive to be the “armchair psychologist” of your toxic friend just because you want them to ‘be good’. Always needless drama happens this way, and often “bad experiences” in a fandom is due to those fringe individuals.

Learn to recognise those toxic ppl, and be the one this time that leaves on read and ignores them. Because that is not worth your time.

-Sjru

So this will be the last blog post in the decade, in the year. In 2020 all the futuristic things that the magazines I used to read as a kid preached about would be true!

Robots! Solar energy! A lot of fancy stuff! We'd be in 2020, and india will be a superpower as some said.

I mean, I’m joking obviously, I don’t think we’ll reach that far soon but also I did not think this time would be had in a long time, yet here we are.

Looking back in 2019 there were many things happening, mostly in july at least for me.

I was a whole month in Buenos Aires with my parents and brother and sister, mainly because my dad got a small prostate cancer that luckily got solved out (he’s fine now) and by end of july I was at Arff which is a furry con, my first one, and I had a blast in (Meeting new pals and stuffs!)

By november I got my new PC stuff which included a top of the line CPU, more RAM, motherboard, cooling and case AND a bigger screen. I can safely say my resolution is 1440 p now, -tehee-.

Finishing the year we got the standard holiday stuff and celebrations so there’s not much there, only left is to look forward in the future year and hope I get better at stuff so here are my resolutions:

-Get better at art.
-Learn to do some animation for once.
-Get a better tablet (not broken one)
-Get someone to love (for realsies this time)
-Go to the con again and make new friends.
-Meet more pals!
-Again I’m mostly hoping but I’ll see if I can reach to some of those goals in the end.

That’s all for today.

~Sjru