So first and foremost, let me get this out up front. If you're still waiting on a commission from me because I haven't gotten to your slot yet, I am still going to get to it. When I had opened the slots last year, I had no intention of things taking this long and I apologize. Of course this is why I never ask for money until I actually start because of how long things can take. While there are only a few of you left, I'm still sorry it's taken this long to get to all of you.

But to update everyone on what's going on. Long story short. I don't know if I'm okay anymore, and each day feels emptier for lack of a better term. I've honestly been operating on burnout for a while now among other things that have happened in my life. If I keep continuing like this, I don't think it'll make anyone happy. It's also why I've wanted so badly to go on hiatus from not just art, but from being constantly online. I do not think it's good for me in the long run and it's been bad for my mental health.

So here's the current plan of action.

1. Get all remaining commissions done. This should be obvious
2. Go on a true hiatus once comms and any other remaining work is done. I've stated before that I have no idea how long said hiatus will be or to what capacity I'll return, if at all. I cannot see into the future, so how I feel right now is most likely not going to be the same as how I'll feel months or years down the line. Knowing me, I'll see some new art meme and think "Oh I wanna do that"
3. If I do return to art, I want to do it for me. As selfish as it may sound, I want to do art for myself. Looking at my gallery, it's practically almost all commission work or it's just something for someone else. And while that's not a bad thing, it doesn't fill me with the same feeling as just being able to create off a whim just for myself with no pressure. And I have no one to blame for this but myself. I've put myself on a vicious cycle and it's not good for anyone.

I apologize if this sounds like a depressing journal, I tried to write it out before, but it didn't sound right. I need to find what I want out of life though. So that if I do come back after the hiatus, then I'll be much better for it and art will feel like it did when I started drawing over 10 years ago.