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More from rain-yatsu
At this point Rain finally knows who he is. But at what cost?
Follow me on twitter for future updates. I'll also be posting the Seattle Fur pages there first days or even weeks earlier then here. @ rainyatsu
Please comment!
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Follow me on twitter for future updates. I'll also be posting the Seattle Fur pages there first days or even weeks earlier then here. @ rainyatsu
Please comment!
I love reading feedback
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 1536 x 2048px
File Size 1.2 MB
His mental process puts him steps ahead. Leaves me wondering how he came to this conclusion. It came on fast and left me there like a dear in the headlights. Just sitting here like... Where do you get this from doge? Where is this sudden yet obvious solution coming from? How do you know what the right thing to do actually is after being that much of a ditz?
It is curious that he flipa da pancake from being this terribly indecisive mess to somehow putting it together mentally over the course of what might be the morning walk to that cafe.
It still is quite a jump even internally. There has to be some tear of emotion before coming to the right choice. No one just dawns on the right choice. Life ain't that simple. I have a shredding tear of emotions choosing between a good home made pizza and frozen shit for example based on my highly extensive background being raised by a lazy mother and then living with cooks.
I see no correlation between previous experience and his here and now while he is doing his mental dialog. He comes off bland and uninteresting/ a prick.
Just my opinion however.. I had high hopes is all.
It is curious that he flipa da pancake from being this terribly indecisive mess to somehow putting it together mentally over the course of what might be the morning walk to that cafe.
It still is quite a jump even internally. There has to be some tear of emotion before coming to the right choice. No one just dawns on the right choice. Life ain't that simple. I have a shredding tear of emotions choosing between a good home made pizza and frozen shit for example based on my highly extensive background being raised by a lazy mother and then living with cooks.
I see no correlation between previous experience and his here and now while he is doing his mental dialog. He comes off bland and uninteresting/ a prick.
Just my opinion however.. I had high hopes is all.
You make this decision, after one night, which you enjoyed.... just completely 180* the entire experience. .. which you enjoyed. Then rationalize that it's somehow for the best, knowing full well that you can finally be happy and make your significant other the happiest they've ever been in doing so, but throw it away for no discernable reason? I'm sorry, but you've lost me, between this page and the last. It doesn't add up, what kind of bipolar character is he developing into? It's like eating your favorite ice cream only to find you're pissed off that your not bleeding from your wrists... (a bit much , I agree, but you see the ludicrousness in the statement)
I know you won't do spoilers, but please help me understand, because I can't see any rationality in this at all. It's almost like you, as the writer and artist, suddenly changed your mind and decided not to have them be together... or for that fact have a chance at all. Completely pulverizing everything you've lead readers to believe up to this point, on a whim....
So, I'll ask kindly, please offer something in the way of an explanation. I can't read this anymore without some sort of direction, please help me understand.
I know you won't do spoilers, but please help me understand, because I can't see any rationality in this at all. It's almost like you, as the writer and artist, suddenly changed your mind and decided not to have them be together... or for that fact have a chance at all. Completely pulverizing everything you've lead readers to believe up to this point, on a whim....
So, I'll ask kindly, please offer something in the way of an explanation. I can't read this anymore without some sort of direction, please help me understand.
There is a difference between sex and love. Rain became so clouded by his new found lust that he thought he was in love with Garret when it was just sexual attraction. If you go back and look at Rain's dialogue you will see that he mentioned that he only "wanted" Garret. You can take that as romantic, but deep down it was really only sexual desire.
Since having sex with Garret, Rain realizes that the lust made him think that he wanted to be in a relationship, and now that all of that is out of the way he realizes that it was only physical attraction. And his feelings for Garret is still only the love a friend and nothing more. But Rain will clarify this in the next pages.
That's the best I can do. If that's not good enough then I really don't know what else to say.
Since having sex with Garret, Rain realizes that the lust made him think that he wanted to be in a relationship, and now that all of that is out of the way he realizes that it was only physical attraction. And his feelings for Garret is still only the love a friend and nothing more. But Rain will clarify this in the next pages.
That's the best I can do. If that's not good enough then I really don't know what else to say.
I'm all for this explanation since it is valid...
However from a storytelling standpoint, and from a writers standpoint, the presentation of the idea is very rushed. Feelings like these need time to mull. You have to let the audience steep in the new found realizations from the previous night much longer. Otherwise it just comes off as skin-deep and trope-filled.
I would have liked to see more time pass and more pages of Rain's internal workings and his thought processes. Maybe introduce another variable or two before he comes to this realization. Because as of right now, making the audience believe in the authenticity of his motives over just ONE PAGE is just bad storytelling technique.
However from a storytelling standpoint, and from a writers standpoint, the presentation of the idea is very rushed. Feelings like these need time to mull. You have to let the audience steep in the new found realizations from the previous night much longer. Otherwise it just comes off as skin-deep and trope-filled.
I would have liked to see more time pass and more pages of Rain's internal workings and his thought processes. Maybe introduce another variable or two before he comes to this realization. Because as of right now, making the audience believe in the authenticity of his motives over just ONE PAGE is just bad storytelling technique.
Rovalq here is right. I do agree that your idea for the comic is alright. Your delivery is just absolute garbage. It went way too fast.
The quality of storytelling is all I give a shit about and up to now you have been doing pretty good with it. The comic in the day felt like it was your baby and you put so much care into it. Now it feels like it is your mother in law whom you are forced to deal with and you are rushing it out the door. The art shows you care. Let the story also reflect that.
Either way if this is what is considered "just fine" in delivery I will just consider it finished here. The story isn't worth the read without the proper devoted effort.
The quality of storytelling is all I give a shit about and up to now you have been doing pretty good with it. The comic in the day felt like it was your baby and you put so much care into it. Now it feels like it is your mother in law whom you are forced to deal with and you are rushing it out the door. The art shows you care. Let the story also reflect that.
Either way if this is what is considered "just fine" in delivery I will just consider it finished here. The story isn't worth the read without the proper devoted effort.
How about putting more thought into the story? This rush job just comes off as sloppy and that the writer (YOU) have no idea what/where you want to take in the story. It shows not only laziness but a lack of respect for not just your work, but for your readers who have waited a long time for this to come off of hiatus. Seriously, you took ALL this time off where you could have spent fixing up the story in some spare time, that this is what you give us? This is offensive is what it is and I cannot take you seriously nor professionally after being presented with this.
I honestly cannot feel anything except the character reflects your personality. Neither of you know what you are doing. Him: Jumping from guy to guy. You: Story direction. Caring more about aesthetics than depth: Him: Both the bears he's played at heart strings for self gratification. You: Just caring about the visual art (which could use some improvement as well) to which you say is "fine" but obviously is not fine as most of the comments have pointed out. You're both just bad road right now.
There is a difference between sex and love. Rain became so clouded by his new found lust that he thought he was in love with Garret when it was just sexual attraction. If you go back and look at Rain's dialogue you will see that he mentioned that he only "wanted" Garret. You can take that as romantic, but deep down it was really only sexual desire.
Since having sex with Garret, Rain realizes that the lust made him think that he wanted to be in a relationship, and now that all of that is out of the way he realizes that it was only physical attraction. And his feelings for Garret is still only the love a friend and nothing more. But Rain will clarify this in the next pages.
That's the best I can do. If that's not good enough then I really don't know what else to say.
Since having sex with Garret, Rain realizes that the lust made him think that he wanted to be in a relationship, and now that all of that is out of the way he realizes that it was only physical attraction. And his feelings for Garret is still only the love a friend and nothing more. But Rain will clarify this in the next pages.
That's the best I can do. If that's not good enough then I really don't know what else to say.
"I have to end this before it gets worse."
Or Rain could give it a chance to work. Give himself and Garrett the opportunity to finally be happy, since he A) told Garett that he wanted him, B) is admitting to himself how attractive he is, and C) Garrett is right in front of him talking about monogamy and how special he is. Let's be honest, Rain at this point deserves to end up happy with Garrett. Please don't do this to them. It just doesn't make much sense as a plotpoint. At least let them give it a try. Maybe focus the drama on Rick and/or Tim instead? How they react to this news of them being together?
Or Rain could give it a chance to work. Give himself and Garrett the opportunity to finally be happy, since he A) told Garett that he wanted him, B) is admitting to himself how attractive he is, and C) Garrett is right in front of him talking about monogamy and how special he is. Let's be honest, Rain at this point deserves to end up happy with Garrett. Please don't do this to them. It just doesn't make much sense as a plotpoint. At least let them give it a try. Maybe focus the drama on Rick and/or Tim instead? How they react to this news of them being together?
I had someone do to me what Rain is about to do. It isn't a huge leap of logic at all. It's just dashing the hopes some of you seem to have had for this pairing.
Is the pacing perhaps a bit fast? Yes. Saying someone having sex with another person and realizing it was JUST SEXUAL for them is somehow out of touch with
the real world is kinda bullshit. PLENTY of relationships fail because they are built upon lust and romance and not a solid foundation. I can agree with
there maybe needing to be a few more pages in here, but nothing about this is out of touch or a huge leap.
Is the pacing perhaps a bit fast? Yes. Saying someone having sex with another person and realizing it was JUST SEXUAL for them is somehow out of touch with
the real world is kinda bullshit. PLENTY of relationships fail because they are built upon lust and romance and not a solid foundation. I can agree with
there maybe needing to be a few more pages in here, but nothing about this is out of touch or a huge leap.
I can somehow sympathize to rain a bit, he's indecisive about love having found so many new things and so much "offer" around him, so he's kinda on the pressure to find out who he really wants to be. It's a thing that needs time and by jumping to conclusions and making things official too soon, he may get deep into a mess XD
I hope that he can enjoy his time with Garnet for now, see that it's not a "bad" situation and that he may grow to like being with him =3
I hope that he can enjoy his time with Garnet for now, see that it's not a "bad" situation and that he may grow to like being with him =3
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