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Soi Brothers - Part 1 by Raistlinhawke. Critique Requested.
As requested by Raistlinhawke, the first part of his Soi Brothers stories has been uploaded here. He's looking for a little feedback to help him on his way, so don't be shy, everyone!
Category Story / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 50 x 50px
Gimme all and whatever you guys got, comment-wise, I'm happy to take everything into consideration ^_^
Good for what's there, I'd only suggest making the characters present more clear at the beginning. As in, specifying who is there and which is which, etc.
Hmmm, not as long as I thought.
Well, finally got around to reading this. Not too bad, not a fan of contemporary fiction but I can see the seed of something interesting here. For the most part I have to echo what RisingTempest said, the characters could use more description; especially about the history between them. The dialog suggests a lot more then what we're seeing.
Well, finally got around to reading this. Not too bad, not a fan of contemporary fiction but I can see the seed of something interesting here. For the most part I have to echo what RisingTempest said, the characters could use more description; especially about the history between them. The dialog suggests a lot more then what we're seeing.
Comments