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Story / General Furry Art
Species Otter
Gender Multiple characters
Size 50 x 50
File Size 63.6 kB
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I've been holding on to this one for so long, and I don't know why.
This short story was written for a Uni assignment last semester, and was generally well received.
It is based largely on my own emotions at the time of writing. Though I had never lost a love in the way Matthew has, I was still in grief over the lack of a love. Thankfully that situation resolved itself during the writing of this story, which led to the much lighter conclusion.
Read and enjoy.
This short story was written for a Uni assignment last semester, and was generally well received.
It is based largely on my own emotions at the time of writing. Though I had never lost a love in the way Matthew has, I was still in grief over the lack of a love. Thankfully that situation resolved itself during the writing of this story, which led to the much lighter conclusion.
Read and enjoy.
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Otter
Gender Multiple characters
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 63.6 kB
A little critique, since I finally got around to reading this:
'A blue scaled dragon was stood in the doorway.'
Spell checker wont catch this, but a perfectionist will
---
'even if some small and hidden part of him wasn't glad to see his friend'
Pretty minor error. "Wasn't" should be "was".
---
'with a forgiving and understanding smile on his face; for Matthew knew that’s what the smile meant'
Semicolons tend to link two related sentences, when they can not work as a single unit (at least as far as I know). This would work far better if you just used a comma.
---
'He didn’t want to understand him.'
The previous reference was to Matthew, so mentioning "him" seems to refer to Matthew, rather than (as I would put it instead) 'the dragon'.
Apart from all that, I quite enjoyed the story. I don't have enough life experience to call you on the ending, but I will say it seemed to me a little too abrupt the first time I read it.
And with that all said... Thanks for sharing
'A blue scaled dragon was stood in the doorway.'
Spell checker wont catch this, but a perfectionist will
---
'even if some small and hidden part of him wasn't glad to see his friend'
Pretty minor error. "Wasn't" should be "was".
---
'with a forgiving and understanding smile on his face; for Matthew knew that’s what the smile meant'
Semicolons tend to link two related sentences, when they can not work as a single unit (at least as far as I know). This would work far better if you just used a comma.
---
'He didn’t want to understand him.'
The previous reference was to Matthew, so mentioning "him" seems to refer to Matthew, rather than (as I would put it instead) 'the dragon'.
Apart from all that, I quite enjoyed the story. I don't have enough life experience to call you on the ending, but I will say it seemed to me a little too abrupt the first time I read it.
And with that all said... Thanks for sharing
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