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I'm taking the inktober challenge this year, 2019! For me the inktober will be a prompt list of experiment doodles for me. My goal? Only use values. Grayscale. Black and whites. No colors at all. This is the only rule for my personal journey this inktober~ As you all might know, I'm quite a colorful-sparkle-overload. So this is something I hope with enough elbow grease will help me creatively expand while also having a lot of fun! The biggest goal out of this journey? HAVE FUN. THIS IS FOR FUN. No time limits, no hard rules (except for no colors), just have fun. c;
What do we say? Never be afraid to draw badly!
Inktober 2019 - Mindless
For this one I knew right away I wanted to do a smoking/cannabis piece. But it's hard to really convey what I'm feeling. On really bad pain days everything is a stim. Hearing water run, the house being too cool, the smell of yesterday's cooking, I'm in so much pain that my tolerance for all the little things that bother me in life become mountains instead of mole hills. Suddenly the world is just too loud! too much! it's all baring down, it's like all your senses are screaming static. If I had to describe the white hot pain, it's... like being zapped. My body just jolts and seizes up... woof. those are the really bad days.
So to prevent the over-stress of my nerves, I medicate by using cannabis. It does not stop the pain at all, but instead allows my mind to stop. take a deep breath. and look in another direction and allow me to focus on the given task in front of me. It's so strange to see people speak about cannabis and stoners being so lazy and wanting to do nothing after smoking up. It is the exact opposite relief. It calms my body down. It allows my brain to ignore the flood of signals. It allows me to de-stress and go back to working on what I want to do. <3
Lately it's been so hard. Everything is so heavy and my body is barely moving. I'm awake by sheer will power at this point and wish I wasn't most days. But when it all gets to be too much, my loved ones sit me down and help give me a glass of water and my ice-bong. They remind me to medicate and to give myself a break. That they understand. It's so hard to listen, because I feel like I'm the stranger in the relationship. I feel like the child inside screaming, "I don't understand!! I don't get this!! It's just not FAIR!"
Some days I do just need to cry. To let it out. To scream to the world about how unfair this flesh prison is to me. About the failing of not only my body but of government and medical facilities around us that hold prejudice over progress.
I am medicating with cannabis and it scares me. I do not know where my medication comes from, I do not know who grows it or what it's been made with. I am sometimes allowed to know the names of the "strains" I am supposedly smoking to help medicate myself better. But without legalization I am in the dark. I am alone and scared. I do not know if what I am doing is right, but so far after 10+ years experience it is the only option that has given us any relief and shown us the most progress.
So instead I will continue to talk about cannabis and about disability. I will continue to beg for legalization of cannabis, so that maybe one day my treatments can actually give me a better quality of life. Right now I am only just barely hanging on. I am awake some days, but most often not. It hurts too much to be awake any more. The cannabis helps and gives me relief, but not enough. I need medical professionals to speak with about cannabis and how best to work it into our lifestyle that doesn't hurt me (example: smoking in my lungs).
I think I might have to try drawing aj ferret smoking again. But maybe as the smoke forms into a wispy version of herself, gently kissing her head. Trying to give what little comfort she can to the other. Because that's what it feels like to be allowed to medicate, it gives me comfort.
Please help make cannabis legal in the USA. Both medical and recreational. Please expunge cannabis related crimes. Please give disabled people a chance. Thank you for reading, haha. ヾ(´▽`; )ゝ
I'm taking the inktober challenge this year, 2019! For me the inktober will be a prompt list of experiment doodles for me. My goal? Only use values. Grayscale. Black and whites. No colors at all. This is the only rule for my personal journey this inktober~ As you all might know, I'm quite a colorful-sparkle-overload. So this is something I hope with enough elbow grease will help me creatively expand while also having a lot of fun! The biggest goal out of this journey? HAVE FUN. THIS IS FOR FUN. No time limits, no hard rules (except for no colors), just have fun. c;
What do we say? Never be afraid to draw badly!
Inktober 2019 - Mindless
For this one I knew right away I wanted to do a smoking/cannabis piece. But it's hard to really convey what I'm feeling. On really bad pain days everything is a stim. Hearing water run, the house being too cool, the smell of yesterday's cooking, I'm in so much pain that my tolerance for all the little things that bother me in life become mountains instead of mole hills. Suddenly the world is just too loud! too much! it's all baring down, it's like all your senses are screaming static. If I had to describe the white hot pain, it's... like being zapped. My body just jolts and seizes up... woof. those are the really bad days.
So to prevent the over-stress of my nerves, I medicate by using cannabis. It does not stop the pain at all, but instead allows my mind to stop. take a deep breath. and look in another direction and allow me to focus on the given task in front of me. It's so strange to see people speak about cannabis and stoners being so lazy and wanting to do nothing after smoking up. It is the exact opposite relief. It calms my body down. It allows my brain to ignore the flood of signals. It allows me to de-stress and go back to working on what I want to do. <3
Lately it's been so hard. Everything is so heavy and my body is barely moving. I'm awake by sheer will power at this point and wish I wasn't most days. But when it all gets to be too much, my loved ones sit me down and help give me a glass of water and my ice-bong. They remind me to medicate and to give myself a break. That they understand. It's so hard to listen, because I feel like I'm the stranger in the relationship. I feel like the child inside screaming, "I don't understand!! I don't get this!! It's just not FAIR!"
Some days I do just need to cry. To let it out. To scream to the world about how unfair this flesh prison is to me. About the failing of not only my body but of government and medical facilities around us that hold prejudice over progress.
I am medicating with cannabis and it scares me. I do not know where my medication comes from, I do not know who grows it or what it's been made with. I am sometimes allowed to know the names of the "strains" I am supposedly smoking to help medicate myself better. But without legalization I am in the dark. I am alone and scared. I do not know if what I am doing is right, but so far after 10+ years experience it is the only option that has given us any relief and shown us the most progress.
So instead I will continue to talk about cannabis and about disability. I will continue to beg for legalization of cannabis, so that maybe one day my treatments can actually give me a better quality of life. Right now I am only just barely hanging on. I am awake some days, but most often not. It hurts too much to be awake any more. The cannabis helps and gives me relief, but not enough. I need medical professionals to speak with about cannabis and how best to work it into our lifestyle that doesn't hurt me (example: smoking in my lungs).
I think I might have to try drawing aj ferret smoking again. But maybe as the smoke forms into a wispy version of herself, gently kissing her head. Trying to give what little comfort she can to the other. Because that's what it feels like to be allowed to medicate, it gives me comfort.
Please help make cannabis legal in the USA. Both medical and recreational. Please expunge cannabis related crimes. Please give disabled people a chance. Thank you for reading, haha. ヾ(´▽`; )ゝ
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Where you can find AJ!
★ [ DeviantArt ] - [ FurAffinity ] ★
★ [ Clover Coin Patreon ] ★
★ [ Twitter ] - [ ToyHouse ] ★
Interested in commissioning me? Here are some helpful links.
★ [ CloverCoin.com ] - [ Terms of Service ] - [ Commission Guide and Prices ] - [ Work Queue: CloverCoin / Flipside ] ★
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Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Female
Size 618 x 800px
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