To start, this is an amazing piece by hitmore who actually subverted my expectations with the prompts I gave them, in a very good way, that got me thinking a good deal.
So, I do not often share the inner most thoughts or the raw depth that some of the details that some commissions go into the conversations I have with some of the artists. This time, I am going to make an exception. Partially, because the major part of the thoughts came after I received the art piece, and also because I think it is an important topic that we all face in some form or another, and the piece really drove me to think (and write a bit) on the matter, and what a huge thing it is in my life- the knowledge of just how terrible I could be, and the conscious effort that I have to make not to be. Anyway, here are the thoughts I shared with the artist:
BREAK
It is an interesting thing- The struggle inside, and a topic that I find keen interest in. See, I know that I have a beast, a monster that lurks inside. I know based on the traits, skills, and physical and mental prowess that I hold the bad and harm I could do for my own fulfillment and edification. It is a constant battle to keep the beast at bay, whether it be in its insidious whispers that tempt me to undercut a peer or competitor, or in its caged screams of rage to meet physical harm on individuals that may cross my will and desires.
Some days, the beast is easy to tame, to control. When things are good for me, I am in good health, the job is fruitful, and I am in a good financial place, the beast is very easily kept in his place, and while he may whisper atrocious things in my ear (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had a "dude, brain, WTF" moment at a thought), but it is something that is easy to control- In the bad times, however, the beast is harder to control. The temptation to cut the legs out from under the competition get strong, to explode in rage at the smallest slights, to use cruel words to utterly crush people, because I know just what to say often times, to hit a person in a way that is soul crushing and demoralizing.
And sometimes, well, sometimes the monster gets out, and I find myself, much to my shame, there are moments I've been less than decent, and full of rage, and manipulating things to get my own way, succumbing to the temptation of that fiendish beast that always wants to take control. It is not a common thing to happen, indeed it is extremely rare that I lose that control, but for the brief moment that the beast does slip out, it does considerable damage to friendships and relationships, and it is something that I look back at with sorrow every time.
And it is a struggle that I think it is rather universal, with some that are much better at than others (for example, I think Mr. Rogers is the exemplification of one who had his inner beast under control, while people like Mel Gibson are somewhat the personification of one whose beast may indeed be the one in control). I suppose the common expression for it sometimes is our "reptile brain" that acts on the base instincts that we would have when in danger or harmed (be it emotionally or physically), which indeed makes it all the more fitting to call it "the inner beast."
But anyway, I apologize to ramble on, but it is a topic that I am not only greatly interested in, but find important, if anything for the sake of all those that I interact with, to be sure I know he is there, and what I can do to keep the beast at bay. And oddly enough, something that explores it very well was the show "Star Wars, The Clone Wars," in the shadow Yoda portion, and the idea expressed, that to control the beast, one must recognize that "the beast is you and you are the beast, to deny it simply gives it power."
BREAK
It is a topic that I actually want to explore more, and have some un-explored story boards on it, as well as some other ideas I want to work on with it. And certainly one I'd be very interested to discuss as well!
So, I do not often share the inner most thoughts or the raw depth that some of the details that some commissions go into the conversations I have with some of the artists. This time, I am going to make an exception. Partially, because the major part of the thoughts came after I received the art piece, and also because I think it is an important topic that we all face in some form or another, and the piece really drove me to think (and write a bit) on the matter, and what a huge thing it is in my life- the knowledge of just how terrible I could be, and the conscious effort that I have to make not to be. Anyway, here are the thoughts I shared with the artist:
BREAK
It is an interesting thing- The struggle inside, and a topic that I find keen interest in. See, I know that I have a beast, a monster that lurks inside. I know based on the traits, skills, and physical and mental prowess that I hold the bad and harm I could do for my own fulfillment and edification. It is a constant battle to keep the beast at bay, whether it be in its insidious whispers that tempt me to undercut a peer or competitor, or in its caged screams of rage to meet physical harm on individuals that may cross my will and desires.
Some days, the beast is easy to tame, to control. When things are good for me, I am in good health, the job is fruitful, and I am in a good financial place, the beast is very easily kept in his place, and while he may whisper atrocious things in my ear (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had a "dude, brain, WTF" moment at a thought), but it is something that is easy to control- In the bad times, however, the beast is harder to control. The temptation to cut the legs out from under the competition get strong, to explode in rage at the smallest slights, to use cruel words to utterly crush people, because I know just what to say often times, to hit a person in a way that is soul crushing and demoralizing.
And sometimes, well, sometimes the monster gets out, and I find myself, much to my shame, there are moments I've been less than decent, and full of rage, and manipulating things to get my own way, succumbing to the temptation of that fiendish beast that always wants to take control. It is not a common thing to happen, indeed it is extremely rare that I lose that control, but for the brief moment that the beast does slip out, it does considerable damage to friendships and relationships, and it is something that I look back at with sorrow every time.
And it is a struggle that I think it is rather universal, with some that are much better at than others (for example, I think Mr. Rogers is the exemplification of one who had his inner beast under control, while people like Mel Gibson are somewhat the personification of one whose beast may indeed be the one in control). I suppose the common expression for it sometimes is our "reptile brain" that acts on the base instincts that we would have when in danger or harmed (be it emotionally or physically), which indeed makes it all the more fitting to call it "the inner beast."
But anyway, I apologize to ramble on, but it is a topic that I am not only greatly interested in, but find important, if anything for the sake of all those that I interact with, to be sure I know he is there, and what I can do to keep the beast at bay. And oddly enough, something that explores it very well was the show "Star Wars, The Clone Wars," in the shadow Yoda portion, and the idea expressed, that to control the beast, one must recognize that "the beast is you and you are the beast, to deny it simply gives it power."
BREAK
It is a topic that I actually want to explore more, and have some un-explored story boards on it, as well as some other ideas I want to work on with it. And certainly one I'd be very interested to discuss as well!
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species German Shepherd
Gender Male
Size 853 x 1280px
And yet... if we don't have that beast, do we have the opposite facet of its energy, the ferocious drive to exalt and to protect? Mr Rogers was a famously and blessedly good man and we can only wish we had more of him. But, nghhhh... I'm sure I don't have anything to explain to a military dog about the limitations of the applicability of that particular kind of goodness.
Konrad Lorenz writes somewhere (I forget where, On Aggression probably) that only species with innate aggression can develop true individual love. Okay, a lot of Lorenz's hypotheses don't hold up under modern scientific knowledge, but I still like that one. It suggests that the monster and the guardian beast rise from the same wellspring, a thing that's always made great intuitive sense to me. I doubt we can entirely muzzle one without banishing the other.
Konrad Lorenz writes somewhere (I forget where, On Aggression probably) that only species with innate aggression can develop true individual love. Okay, a lot of Lorenz's hypotheses don't hold up under modern scientific knowledge, but I still like that one. It suggests that the monster and the guardian beast rise from the same wellspring, a thing that's always made great intuitive sense to me. I doubt we can entirely muzzle one without banishing the other.
Ah, this is another important facet of it as well, and also an important reason, at least for me, that I must be able to control that same beast!
Part of the reason I like to explore the topic, as it is highly complex one. I know what I could be, but strive to who I choose to be. And indeed, I do choose to be a guardian rather than a terror. But that is why I like the concept in the quote, "you are the beast, and the beast is you. To deny gives it power." So long as I know that it is there, and understand what I could do with that, I can still also harness the traits of it for the goal of service, rather than of self.
And it is definitely an interesting balance that must be struck, probably yet another thing I'll explore in commission/writing as well before too long...
V/R,
Cap Mag.
Part of the reason I like to explore the topic, as it is highly complex one. I know what I could be, but strive to who I choose to be. And indeed, I do choose to be a guardian rather than a terror. But that is why I like the concept in the quote, "you are the beast, and the beast is you. To deny gives it power." So long as I know that it is there, and understand what I could do with that, I can still also harness the traits of it for the goal of service, rather than of self.
And it is definitely an interesting balance that must be struck, probably yet another thing I'll explore in commission/writing as well before too long...
V/R,
Cap Mag.
I read this and I am reminded of a song that's been playing on repeat in my head lately: "Dont Let me Be Misunderstood" by The Animals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMDrTMnm1IE
I feel like the lyrics could be relatable; In the end we all have the best intentions but sometimes our darker nature influences what we do. It's respectable to try and admirable to fight against it; keep oneself in check.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMDrTMnm1IE
I feel like the lyrics could be relatable; In the end we all have the best intentions but sometimes our darker nature influences what we do. It's respectable to try and admirable to fight against it; keep oneself in check.
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