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Been a while since I actually posted anything here! As of late I've taken back up streaming to shake off some rust and the short stories and snippets below, each written in a little over an hour, are what have come about from indulging requests. Hopefully I haven't completely lost my touch!
Requests made by:
kingdead
redstiza
coracroma
march-dragon
vdo
Assorted Streaming Shenanigans
By: RaddaRaem
Galarian Girth
Requested by VDO
Harrumphs, howls, borks, and aroos sounded out from beneath Raja's corpulent form as she slithered on through the cosmos. Perched atop her hood, Jirachi trembled as he cupped his face in his nubby hands.
“Is this really...” the Psychic and Steel type groaned as he refused to finish his thought. Any protest would only serve to encourage her. “Do you have to...” Jirachi started before petering out once more. He bit down on his lip and clenched his fists. “THIS IS OLD DIVINITY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, RAJA! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST HALF ASS THIS?!”
The Arbok snrrked and sashayed her hips. Shockwaves, captured in the clouds rippling out across the Galar continent, roared out at the speed of sass as the Arbok made herself known. Dynamaxed Pokemon and their oftentimes equally enormous trainers regarded her horizon blotting form with reverent awe. “What's wrong with me full-assing it?”
Beads of stardust twinkled off of Jirachi as he hurtled through the atmosphere, ice and rain trailing off his shoulders, while he circled round the Arbok's mind reeling curves. He stared daggers at the plump Poison type in between doling out apologies to the regal canines pinched tight between her folds of flab. “EVERYTHING! We're guests you... you...”
“Avatar of avarice? Goddess of gluttony? Supreme Sassmaster?” Raja teased. Brows arched and lips pursed, she regarded the Dynamaxed, if barely visible, inhabitants with some curiosity.
Disgusted groans wafted out from Jirachi's lips as he tried to tug Zamazenta free to no avail. The armored wolfess' complaints falling on sympathetic but ultimately powerless ears. “Would you stop with that? I'll call you as such when you've earned yourself a title you can't just...”
Hands coming to rest on her hips, Raja's chafing fingers sinking deep into her scaly pudge, the Arbok hissed playfully. “And how did you earn yours then?”
“I can tell you're being cute and trying to derail the conversation,” Jirachi snipped back as his grip upon Zamazenta's armored fingers slipped and faltered. “You can't just... you can't just barge into someone's domain, their pantheon, their very home and smother them under your enormousness!”
Raja blinked at the twinkling dust sized mote that was Jirachi before blankly gesturing at the now snake filled continent. “I mean. Clearly, I can.”
“YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO IS THE POINT. AUGH. Well how would you like it if someone barged into Hoenn and somehow, someway, smothered you under their gargantuan lard ass?”
“They won't,” Raja answered with a smirk and a roll of her eyes. “I'm all there is and will be,” she boasted with a puff of her chest.
Jirachi grimaced as he found himself hard pressed to disagree. “It's a hypothetical, okay?” Jirachi pouted. “Just pretend that...”
“Pretend that the crusty old deities of yore need to make way for more woman than they'll ever know what to do with? Already on it.” Chuckling, the Arbok reached down to pinch her ever ignored conscience between her bloated fingers. “Look. I know what power I wield. Am I irresponsible with it? Absolutely. Am I cruel, spiteful, or even remotely malicious with it? Never! And that's a lot more than can be said of these nobodies you insist I bend the knee to.”
Lips scrunched, Raja gently jingled Jirachi to and fro. “Just because this is the way things have always been done doesn't mean this is how they always have to be. Alright?” With a snort she relaxed her grip on the Psychic and Steel type and left him fluttering among the upper reaches of the atmosphere once more.
With a sigh, Jirachi took to rubbing at his shoulders. “Even so... what exactly did Lady Zamazenta do to earn such disrespect? She invited us for goodness sakes! You were nothing if not eager to sample her curry and gorge yourself on her admittedly naive hospitality! What's so insulting about a potluck?” Jirachi winced at the muffled bork that answered him.
Arms crossed about her chest, Raja huffed. “Oh, this? This is because she refused to let Roy lift a finger to help.” Raja cupped at her cleavage and nuzzled the incomprehensibly insignificant boyfriend tucked away within her curves. “Listen, Lady. This lovable little idiot is the greatest chef you or anyone else will ever know. You ARE going to try his food and you ARE going to let him flex over whatever star chefs you have on retainer and you ARE going to enjoy it!”
Arms hanging limply at his sides, Jirachi grumbled. “That's what this is about? Flexing on someone you've never met and showing them up at their own party?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Medammit,” Jirachi wailed.
A Divine Tutorial
Requested by Redstiza
The newly minted deity bunched his toes. Sheets of concrete and asphalt curled and compacted between his plump fluffy digits.
“Relax, newbie,” came the voice at the back of his head. “No matter what they tell you... EVERY one of us was like this when we started. Godhood is a tricky thing.”
With a heavy swallow the rabbit stepped forward. His tattered jeans brushed against his bony ankles while his cropped shirt fluttered in the gale force winds his very movements kicked up. Skyscrapers shifted uneasily in place as the tectonic force of his footfalls cascaded out far and wide.
“I said relax! You're overthinking things. If you imagine your every friggin footfall is going to cause catastrophe then it will. The rules are different for you now. When you're mortal, yeah, there are certain immutable rules you have to live by. Like physics and taxes. Now though? You decide what those rules are. You can have as apocalyptic or negligible an impact on the world around you as you can fathom.”
Fists clenched, the rabbit exhaled nervously. Ears flopped down, he daintily stepped forward. His ears immediately perked up. The newfound rubble he had kicked up didn't even so much as jostle out of place.
“See? Not so hard. You'll only have a destructive impact on the world around you if you want to.”
Biting down on his lip, the rabbit stepped forward. The claustrophobic city streets remained unmoved. Trash continued to tumble down along sidewalks. Skyscrapers remained placid and otherwise unshakable. Sighing in relief, the rabbit patted at the knot coming undone in his chest.
“You good? Great. Now next thing is getting yourself some followers now that you won't... ehh I won't finish that thought lest your imagination run wild. You know how to handle yourself.”
The rabbit froze at the prospect of his multi-story self... evangelizing himself to the masses.
“Like it or not newbie that's what it takes to get by as a god! Need a little faith. Some prayers don't hurt neither. And you don't have to have people worship you out of fear or anything. Can be out of love or adoration too even. Or maybe they just think you're hot stuff. With the internet I mean goddamn. Can have people lusting over and praying to you on the daily just for being your huge and lanky self and you'll never even know it.”
Lips pulled flat, the rabbit let his shoulders go slack.
“I'm just being honest! Sure some of it might be voyeuristic and creepy but what can you do? Go on out there and introduce yourself. Don't have to put on airs of divinity or that you're a god of... actually we never did settle on your niche did we? Yeah scratch that. Just go out there and make a splash! Somebody's bound to notice and like what you're offering.”
Rubbing his hand through his hair, and along his ears, the rabbit shook his head uneasily.
“Oh yes they will. They better, anyway. Since this is where I quit holding your hand and do away with the safety rails.”
As that thought finished echoing within the rabbit's head he winced as waves of light rippled out from him in waves. Shadows came to walk the streets and, in time, they solidified into distinct silhouettes. Soon a rainbow of colors came to fill in the details as a sea of humanity filled the city streets once more. Some gawked at the enormous foot print now holding up traffic. Others simply ignored the inconvenience and went about their daily business.
“Wait wait wait!” exclaimed the rabbit as he found himself alone and almighty among the crowds.
“Relaxxxxxx. You're just one god of many here. It's normal, it's routine. Figured I'd start you off someplace safe where people won't make much of a fuss. Once you've snagged yourself your first follower I'll be in touch. Later, Sen!”
“Dammit,” Sen pouted as his ears flopped once more. Tufted tail wiggling behind him, he rubbed a hand along his shoulder. Even though he had always resented the thought, the feeling, of being the center of attention it still felt a little weird knowing that he... wasn't? His broad bare feet, taking up the entirety of two-way street, earned little more than annoyed honks. Sen belted out a hurried apology as he stepped forward and imagined, pleaded, that his soft and swollen soles would crash down gently on anything and everything before him.
He shuddered at the sensation of his puffy paws planting down upon vehicle after vehicle and leaving them gently bouncing in place along their suspensions as he lifted up his heel. Phew. At least he had the hang of that. Aimlessly, Sen wandered among the city streets. His footfalls silent and inconsequential. The rabbit's prodigious presence having little if no impact on the world around him.
Hours passed. Just drinking in the thigh high city from heights he could only have ever dreamed of in the past as Sen simply familiarized himself with his new state of being.
“Umm... excuse me?”
Sen's ears perked. His zen disrupted by a muffled question directed at him. “Hello?”
“Down here,” came the follow up. Along with a tickle against his toes.
“Oh god. Oh me. I mean...” Kicking his foot up behind him, Sen laughed nervously at a tiny tanuki embedded into his sole. “I am so so so so soooooo sorry,” he hurriedly blurted out as he peeled his unintended soleaway off his foot.
“No no it's... it's okay,” the tanuki coughed as he came to a rest in Sen's palm. “You picked me up a couple blocks back.”
Sen's face took on a crimson hue as he dropped to his knees and lowered his newfound acquaintance to the ground.
“Really it's okay! It was uhhh... it was nice,” the tanuki mumbled. “Maybe not my preferred method of travel but it beats taking the bus at any rate,” he offered with a blush.
“I'll just disappear forever now,” Sen responded as he hurriedly rose to his feet. Aughhhh. His first act as a god was to accidentally kidnap someone via unintended footsie? No no no no no he would never live this down.
“No wait!” plead the tanuki. “Really it's... it's okay. Not all that often you meet a god, you know?”
Sen curled his toes and barely resisted the urge to bolt off in shame. “I-if you're sure...” he mumbled under his breath. “I'm sorry, I really am. I'm just embarrassingly new to this.”
The tanuki tilted his head back and peered up past toes taller than he was. “Mind if I ask your name?”
Sen wanted nothing, nothing more, than to run and hang his head in shame.
“Hey now,” came a familiar voice in the back of the rabbit's head. “Getting off on the wrong foot there, newbie? Heh. It's a little unorthodox sure but... why not hear him out?”
The crimson hues burning bright along Sen's cheeks faded as he tucked his chin against his chest. “Not really, I guess? It's... it's Sen. Your newfound god of I don't even know what yet.”
“You were supposed to leave that out,” tutted the voice.
“I panicked, okay?” Sen mentally snipped back.
Tail curled around his legs, the tanuki blushed fiercely at that choice of words. “Sen, huh?”
The god nodded. “You? Might do me some good to know the name of who I should be apologizing to,” he weakly smirked.
“It's Soken. Your newfound umm... I had something and then I lost it,” he giggled as he couldn't help but smile shyly at the rabbit's looming visage.
“Don't worry, I found it,” teased the voice at the back of Sen's head. “Your newfound friend and follower. Not bad, newbie. You're off to a strong start.”
Swelling Streamer
Requested by KingDead
Leaning back into his chair, pillow propped up behind him and orb tipped tail resting upon the floor, Radda yawned as he peered at his computer screen. A cavalcade of conversation streamed down along the side of the monitor as his audience mused among themselves what and who the Mareep ought to write about next.
“Anytime now,” Radda smirked as he idly tapped away at the keyboard and all but narrated the course of the evening. The cursor danced across the stream as, with a slight delay, transcribed words appeared before his audience.
A dash of red, a whisper as it were, jumped to attention as Radda couldn't help but laugh at the many comments reflecting on the sheer metaness of it all.
“Yes, KD?” Radda answered. Unaware of the faint glow emanating from within his keyboard, the Mareep quietly conversed with a certain silly wolf off screen.
“Sheepy! March and I will be right over! ^_^”
The Mareep couldn't help but cock his head to the side. “Like... right now? I'm streaming! You're watching it even. Both of you are.”
“Yeah but nothing beats watching you write in person!”
Radda couldn't help but raspberry at that line of logic. “KD yiu dont ne3ed an 3excsue to hang out./”
“What the...” Brows furrowed, the Mareep couldn't help but grimace at the torrent of typos that accompanied his last message back. Fat fingering the keyboard was one thing but this was just pitiful!
CRRRK
A worried bleat escaped from the sheep's snoot as the legs of his chair voiced their protest at holding his wooly rump aloft. Only until it was too late did Radda realize and recognize just what had transpired as arcs of green energy crackled out from his keyboard and wrapped around his lengthening limbs.
“I know but still! You're my wooly wonder after all ^_^”
“KJHADAETR satoooooooop” Radda pleaded as the plastic keys crunched beneath his keratin tipped fingers. The wondrous wolf's growy energies, carried along things as innocuous as private messages, flooded into the Mareep with KingDead's every digital utterance.
The comments streaming down along the sides of the stream turned to confusion as unintelligible combinations of consonants and numbers started to overflow the screen.
CRNNNNNCH
“Bahh!” With a bleat, Radda tumbled back as his ever expanding rear, and everything else, crushed his chair beneath him. Splinters and stuffing exploded out from beneath him as sparks crackled off of his wool.
“Oooh ooh! I came up with a really fun idea for you even! March too! Can't wait to see what you do with it when we get there! ^_^”
“There isn't going to be one by the time you get here...” the Mareep mumbled as surges of growth overtook him in waves.
BUMP
His hooves and blue fuzzed soles pressed against the walls alongside his computed as his blonde haired head bumped against the ceiling.
BADUMP
Crunch went the computer tower and monitor between Radda's thickening hooves. “Oh come on I just built that!” the Mareep whined as his pajamas strained to contain the billowing plumes of wool accumulating upon his person.
BAWUMP
Limbs tucked close, Radda groaned as he could feel his furniture crunch beneath him. His tail thwacked aside his refrigerator. Cupboards came crashing down off the walls and dishes crashed raucously to the cracked hardwood floor below. Walls bowed out and streams of water gushed free as sinks were simply ripped out of the walls by the Mareep's ever encroaching mass.
“Blech. Maybe I shouldn't announce my streams next time around...” Radda huffed as he felt one last surge overtake him.
---
“You're sure he doesn't mind?” March asked. The massively muscled storm dragon, struggling to be contained by his paltry clothing, bumped shoulders with the wolf at his side.
“Of course not! He loves our company and we love his!”
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMBLE
WOOLSPLOSION!
With a deafening thoom a shower of tile, brick, wood splinters, and wool erupted out from where Radda's house once stood. As the dust settled a gargantuan silhouette came into focus and a very flumpy, if not a bit grumpy, Mareep came into view.
“Sheepy!” KingDead delightedly exclaimed as he rushed up to the towering electric ovine and hugged into his wooly thigh. “You didn't have to go and make such an entrance for us!”
“No, I sure didn't,” Radda sighed as he flattened his brows.
The Getaway
Requested by Coracroma
By the time the guards had realized what was afoot it was already too late. A crash of glass. The boil and hiss of a tonic reacting to the open air. Whatever fumes it had expelled were indistinguishable from the suffocating mist they had been marching through.
In between hacking coughs and wheezes the leader of the guard called out into the mist. “Men! Report!” shouted the terrier. His plate armor noisily clacked with his heavy breaths. Drawing his short sword he whirled about in place as he fumbled through the fog. Struggling to hone in on the calls and coughs he received in response.
THOOM
A bone rattling quake rippled through the land and sent the terrier stumbling to the ground. “A mage?” he hurriedly thought. The tremors continued in irregular though no less terrifying force. “Planning to have the earth swallow us whole, no doubt. Disoriented and lost among the fog. Unable to see one another much less the ground beneath our feet.”
The terrier bared his teeth at the thought. He knew that the job was to be dangerous. Escorting the kingdom's riches beyond its borders always was. Yet to think that these were the lengths that such vile souncdrels would go to...
THOOM
“Think,” he told himself. Shouts and worried yells carried along the mist as the tremors grew stronger. Whereas each and every crash of the earth only amplified in strength and cacophony the calls of his men grew ever weaker and fainter in turn. “They can't possibly know who they're targeting one by one. Just keep my wits. Anticipate their attacks best I can.”
THOOM
With a grunt the terrier leapt. Ankles burning and throbbing with pain, the captain of the guard had at the very least managed to keep himself upright. It was possible, painful but possible, to grapple with whatever this fiend had in store.
THOOM
Another leap and another pained and bone rattling landing. Panting, the terrier all but crunched the grip of his sword between his armored palms.
THOOM
There! A figure in the fog! Roaring, the guard captain lurched forward and sank the length of his blade into it.
TUNK
Flesh this was not. Grunting, the terrier tugged and struggled to rip his weapon free from whatever it was he had pierced. Its surface was scuffed yet taut. Rough to the touch and radiating warmth. Was it a golem? A distraction conjured up by the spellcaster in the off chance someone managed to see through their spell?
“Hey now...” boomed a voice through the mist. It echoed and reverberated from every which direction.
“Show yourself, spellcaster!” roared the captain. “The spoils of my kingdom will not be taken without a fight!”
The voice snrrked. “Cute.”
Yelping, the terrier was knocked back as the mass lifted itself only to slam back down before him. A gale of wind was forced out from beneath it and, for a moment, its true form was revealed. That of... a hobnosed boot.
The owner of said boot, a jackal grinning wickedly from on high, waved down dismissively at the insignificant existence before her.
“At ease, captain. I'm no spellcaster though I'm flattered you think highly enough of my capabilities to mistake me for so. But a simple and petty thief is what I be,” her voice boomed. “And here you are scuffing my favorite pair of boots. The least a gentleman like yourself could do is offer to pay for the damages down. Worry not. This since abandoned cart you tried and failed to protect might, it just might, cover the costs emotional and otherwise that you incurred.”
Flashing a toothy smile the jackal whapped her hand against a towering wooden structure. The terrier gawking as windmill sized wheels came into focus through the mist.
“Oh don't be like that,” she cooed as she stepped forward. Her latest footfall sending the captain horizontal to the ground. “Your men are unharmed. As will you. It's but a simple shrinking potion I afflicted you with! One easily reversed, at my leisure, provided you cooperate.”
Snarling, the terrier drew a dagger from his belt and held it out towards the sky smothering hand reaching down towards him.
“Come now, captain. Do you really wish to be left to your own devices out here in the wilderness? In a kindgom not your own in a state such as this?”
The terrier's composure faltered as he dropped his weapon. He promptly acked as thick pillars of furred flesh roughly coiled around him and hoisted him up into the air.
“Thought as much.” With her free hand she flipped open a satchel hanging from her belt. Contained within were the disappeared guards. Groaning and disheveled.
“Here's how I see our professional relationship panning out. You tell me just what kind of forces will follow in your wake so I can plan accordingly around them. And then, once time enough has passed, I'll offload this onto someone who recognizes the value of your kingdom's riches. You'll help me identify who that might be. And after all is said and done I'll return you and your men to your proper place with the only damage done being to your precious pride. Do we have an agreement?”
Muffled shouts rumbled within the terrier's thorat as a gloved finger firmly pressed against his snout and silenced him.
“Oh no need to answer right away!” she taunted as she shoved the uncooperative canine into her pocket. “You have all the time in the world to ruminate on it.”
Wardrobe Malfunction
Requested by VDO
Tongue blepped out, Ethan clawed desperately at his bulged out neck.
“Y-you too?” Emerald asked worriedly as her heaving breasts strained at her gown.
“It fit this morning...” Ethan groaned in between shallow breaths. The hyena's buttoned up shirt, clinging form fittingly to his every curve, all but throttled his neck. Pale blue fabric, crafted from a gas giant to be light and breathable, pulled apart by the seam as a button of bone burrowed its way into his neck in an ill fated attempt to hold it together.
“ACK!” Ethan yelped. With a painful POP his billowing neck, all but melded into his shoulders, forced his collar open and sent the uncooperative button ricocheting out with the force of a sonic boom. Sighing, Ethan allowed his shoulders to droop. The hyena rolling his eyes at the pronounced rips that cascaded down his backside in waves. A confetti of cotton and linen billowed up behind him as his formal attire, and the undershirt beneath it, hung limply from his shoulders. Torn in two and clinging to his mountainous musculature like sleeves. The gas giant that comprised it slowly dissipated into mist as Ethan was left to puff fitfully at the locks of hair draped over his forehead.
Emerald fared little better. Biting down into her lip, she trembled as she remained perfectly stand still. Any movement, no matter how minute, threatened catastrophe. The straps of her gown, painfully embedded into the valleys of striped flesh that were her shoulders, creaked at the prospect of covering so much woman. Then there was the matter of fact that her gown, studded with stars and black as the night sky, struggled to stretch down past the celestial spheres that were her breasts! Tail fwipped up between her thighs, Emerald struggled to keep herself presentable as her nipples, perked and erect, strained at her gown. Low rumbles rippled throughout Emerald's attire as her gown, a universe, and an ever expanding one at that, tried and failed to contain the goddess it was wrapped around. Rips formed throughout as the hyena's existence was simply too much to contain! Pops and snaps erupted all across it as black holes tore asunder and stars went supernova in rapid succession.
With a pitiful meep, Emerald knocked her knees together as her jet black gown glowed warm and bright before exploding into a shower of stardust and dark matter. “I mean... this is the Aesir we're talking about here. Surely they won't mind if we attend a tad bit under dressed!” Emerald gently offered.
“That's not the poiiiiint,” Ethan whined as he crossed his arms about his chest. “We are deities with powers unimaginable, our capabilities ever increasing, yet neither of us can manage to clothe ourselves!”
“Ethan it's-”
“No it's not!” he whined. “I miss pants, Emerald! I really do!”
“I knowwww,” she sighed before pulling him into a creation crushing hug. Multiple big bangs erupted between the couple as they embraced. Their reality defying biceps bulging and tensing as they lovingly squeezed at one another. “I will admit...” Emerald said with a blush. “It is nice every once in a while seeing you squeeze into woefully undersized leggings. My hunky husband's impossible assets leaving little if anything to my active imagination...”
“E-Emerald please! L-let's pick this back up after our meet and greet with divinity shall we?” Ethan huffed as hungry kisses accumulated upon his cheeks.
Big and Tall
Requested by KingDead
Static crackled over the intercoms as Hiroshi wandered through the aisles and tended to rumpled and displaced articles of clothing.
“AHAHAHA! So, dutiful customers, I see you have found yourselves trapped within my store... by my outstanding deals and courteous customer service! Yes, here at Bell Hell's Big and Tall we cater to both the staturally gifted and easily overlooked. You may remember me, and my photogenic face and debonair voice, from my various attempts at tri-county domination and general villainy.”
The red panda couldn't help but snort as his boss continued to schmooze over the loud speakers. Patrolling past the circular clothes rack, Hiroshi dutifully straightened out sun dresses. Checking and double checking that the hangers they were draped from properly communicated what sized clientele they were intended for.
“Those days are long since behind me as, following one of my many defeats at the hands of my former nemesis, the Marvelous Micro, I realized that my various and one-off contraptions actually had practical applications! Much like Size Rayinator! Here at Bell Hell's Big and Tall we recognize that there is no such thing as one size fits all. Everyone is different and your wardrobe should reflect that! Via my groundbreaking inventions, which are now dedicated to the evils of capitalism, we can resize and refit your clothing to perfectly match you and your tastes!”
Hiroshi continued to pitter patter about. His dress shoes scuffing gently against the tiled floor as he wandered into and out of dressing rooms and collected discarded hangers.
“Also, as I am legally obligated to do so, those of you who were previously inconvenienced by my nefarious, though mostly petty schemes, are entitled to a 15% off coupon! Simply present a newspaper clipping listing yourself among one of my many aggrieved parties and a sales associate will happily assist you.”
With a crackle and buzz the speakers went quiet. Shaking his head, Hiroshi crossed his arms about his chest and looked out over the expanse of cotton, cloth, and denim. Sure, the busy work could be tedious. And it was strange how he and his coworkers were referred to as 'minions' rather than employees. That and maaaaaaaybe Bell Hell's free wheeling announcements and advertisements bordered on the megalomaniacal. But the Big and Tall treated him right! The benefits were generous enough, pay was decent, his own prior henching record was all but ignored, and the clientele was something else. From mice barely reaching past his ankles to hulking wolves his ears brushed against the ceiling tiles it was oddly... reassuring knowing how valuable and precious a place this was to those who were anything but average.
BING BONG
Hiroshi's rounded ears flicked at the chime.
“Attention, sales associates. Would those of you certified to handle heavy machinery capable of matter manipulation please report to the Fitting Room. Again, those few sales associates trained and properly certified to handle machinery capable of matter manipulation please report back to the Fitting Room. Thank you.”
BONG BING
Eyes gently rolling about their sockets, Hiroshi raspberried. “You could've just said wah get on back here...” he smirked.
“Alright so what do we got here?” Hiroshi asked. A comically oversized ray gun, bolted to the floor with tesla coils wrapped around its barrel, hummed gently behind him.
A giraffe, her hooves clacking noisily against the concrete floor, strutted over with bundles of suits tucked beneath arms. She allowed them to unceremoniously flop upon the table before her with a pronounced whumpf. “We are looking at... a mass upsizing. For a wedding party that had reached out to us recently. Family friend of Bell Hell's, another hush hush villain, you get the deal. Following a rather disastrous bachelor party it seems that the groom and his best men's orders are woefully undersized.”
Hiroshi cocked a brow. “Okaaaay?”
The giraffe shrugged. “From what I gathered they responsibly irresponsible. They had ordered more liquor and scotch than they could ever stomach and, rather than risk their health or letting it go to waste, they had the brilliant idea to enlarge themselves so that they could safely imbibe it all. It seemed like a smart idea at the time.”
“I mean...” Hiroshi tossed his arms out to his sides. “Business is business. So what are we boosting these up to? Extra Large? Extra Extra Large?” Grunting, the red panda scooped up a pile of pin stripes and bumbled over in front of the Size Rayinator.
Lips pursed, the giraffe squinted at her tablet. “We are looking at... Quintuple Double Extra Large.”
“And we are looking at an order of how many?” One by one, Hiroshi slid the suits onto hangers as his footsteps echoed noisily among the back room.
The giraffe clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth. “We are looking attttt... ooh. Goodness that must have been quite the party. We are looking at a total of fifteen upsizings!”
Hiroshi groaned as he allowed his shoulders to slouch. “We'll be here all day... Augh. And my shift ends soon as it is and not like anyone else is qualified for this.” Brows pulled flat, the red panda hummed as he looked to the bulls eye painted onto the floor before the Size Rayinator. Along with the warning plastered on the wall behind it.
“WARNING: ONLY ONE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING IS TO BE RESIZED AT A TIME. ANY MORE SO RUNS THE RISK OF THE MATTER MANIPULATION BEAM ARCING UNPREDICTABLY. TRUST ME. THE MARVELOUS MICRO BECAME THE MARVELOUS MACRO THAT WAY AND HOO WAS THAT AN EMBARASSING SELF OWN. - BELL HELL”
Cheeks puffed out the giraffe hummed. “I mean... I won't tell anyone if you don't?” she offered. She snickered at the sight of Hiroshi immediately wheeling the entire order onto the bulls eye in response. “Here, I'll do you one better. I'll make myself scarce even. That way your good word is all they have to go off of.”
“Appreciate it, Jenelle.” Sending her off with a wave, the red panda stepped on up besides the Size Rayinator. His padded fingertips deftly twisting at a dizzying array of knobs, switches, and buttons. “And that should be it!” Hiroshi boasted before slapping his palm against a preposterously big red button.
A low whirr sounded up from within the coils of the Size Rayinator as the tesla coils crackled alive and the barrel of the raygun took on an otherworldly green glow.
BWIRRRRRRRR
PEWWWWWWWWWW
A blinding beam erupted from the end of the barrel and bathed the neatly organized suits and tuxedos with that same otherworldly glow. Energy, crackling wildly, arced off from the clothes as they doubled, tripled, quadrupled, and something-led in size. Spilling well beyond the bulls eyes as a veritable mountain of neatly tailored fabric rose up before Hiroshi.
“That should be just... about... enoWW!” Yelping, Hiroshi spasmed as a furious bolt of energy leapt from the towering tuxedos to his own. Gritting his teeth, the red panda slammed a swelling fist against the red button once more.
BEZOOOOOOOOOW
The ominous light show filling the back room faded as the Size Rayinator was forced to a hard stop. Lingering growy energy, genergy as it were, crackling and sparking off of the mass order and painfully zapping at Hiroshi.
“O-okay. Okay I mean this is...” Hiroshi hurfed as his chest puffed out and the buttons on his suit tugged taut. “This isn't the end of the world. I shut it off quickly enough!”
RRRRRIP
The red panda's bloated and bulbous toes popped free from his dress shoes.
“I mean it's not like people will be staring at my feet as I'm making my way out-”
LOUDER RRRRRRRRRIP
Biting down into his lip, Hiroshi winced as his ballooning arms reduced his sleeves to confetti.
“There's a back entrance-”
GROWSPLODE
Suit and undershirt tearing down his back, Hiroshi's cratering voice oofed as he found his head suddenly crashing through a ceiling tile. His broad shoulders straining against the rafters as dust, insulation, and wiring snapped painfully against him.
Head peeking through the roof, Hiroshi peered down worriedly at the tiles beside him cracking and giving way as his shoulders soon followed.
Though muffled, Hiroshi could hear the speakers crackling back on within the store below as his jutting pectorals bwoomphed aside an air conditioner. A familiar voice took to airwaves to not only console the customers spooked by the sudden quaking and shaking but to address the elephant shaming red panda who had since outgrown the room.
“I put the signs there for a reason, minion! I mean trusted employee. *Sigh*. Well, looks like somebody just earned themselves a write-up! Tsk tsk. And you were so close, Hiroshi! Looks like Employee of the Month evades your grasp once again. Seriously this is like what the third or fourth time this has happened?”
If You Give a Goddess Some Praise...
Requested by MarchDragon
Brows arched, Riza gently kneaded at her fiery furred temples. “Nth time is the charm, right?” she weakly laughed to herself as she scooped up a handful of dark matter floating among the void. Having someone outgrow and tear existence asunder for only the umpteenth time it was... well... it was honestly getting to be a bit bothersome!
The Growlithe borkfed as she rolled errant nebula, galaxies, and star dust about her broad and padded palm. Slowly, surely, the building blocks of creation congealed within her grasp. “At the very least I'm getting to be an old hand at this,” Riza smirked. With a bump of her wrist she gently sent the sphere floating back into its proper place. With a snap of her fingers, time resumed within it and life proceeded on as if nothing was amiss. Minus a couple of hours here and there. The damage done by a certain someone outgrowing their planet, crunching its mantle and leaving the sundered planet pancaked between their bloated toes, along with goodness knows how many solar systems subsumed and galaxies gobbled down was conveniently undone. Riza sighing contentedly at the knowledge that the growpocalypse that the mortals of that particular reality experienced would amount to nothing more than a fever dream.
“Now as for you,” Riza harrumphed as she turned her gaze towards a Persian frozen in place. The Growlithe pinched at the nape of the feline's neck and violently shook her as time flowed once more at the canine's command. Panicked mrowrs sounding out from the feline as she puffed out into a swirly eyed puff. “I. Wait a minute. You're a repeat offender aren't you?”
“Who dares lecture meOWWWOWWWOWWWOWWOWWOWWW!”
“Rocq, please.” Head cocked to her side, Riza hmmed and hrmmed as she mused just how to properly punish this pernicious feline. The power to lord and loom over others had quite clearly gone to her head and showed no signs of ever abating. No matter how thorough a tutting that was administered this darn girl just kept making a mess of things!
Groaning pitifully, Rocq hung limply from Riza's fingers as the Growlithe floated towards the reality that had the misfortune to call itself the Persian's home. She gingerly tapped a finger against it and cleared her throat. “Say, Pammy? You still slumming around in there?”
Crackles of static and waves of white noise rippled along a nearby orb. “I can be! Why? Wait. Is it-”
“Yes, it's Rocquelle.”
"It's Rocquesanne..." whined the Persian.
A disgusted sigh emanated from the crackling and glitching reality. “I swear! The instant I go sight seeing and that girl gets up to no good. Chuck her my way at your leisure. I'll deal with her.”
“Appreciate it. Babysitting just isn't my thing, you know?” With a smirk, Riza chucked the flailing cat back into her home universe and watched, with no small amount of satisfaction, as Rocq haphazardly sailed through the cosmos, bonking against many an asteroid field as she went, before roaring through the Earth's atmosphere and screaming all the while. A trail of code and glitching shapes followed soon after her and came to concentrate themselves before Rocq's lavish and unearned mansion.
Reconstituting themselves into a Rattatta of mind boggling proportions, Pammy scrunched her lips and shook her head. Head tilted back, the rodent forced his mouth open wide and ahhhhhhed. Sonic booms radiated out from Pammy. Screaming all the while, Rocq pleaded for the dignity of at least skidding face down to a halt.
GULP
BRAP
Cheeks puffed out, Pammy stifled a belch as Rocq's very being was rewritten from cat to calories and came to accumulate upon the Rattatta's thighs as thoughtless fat. Pammy would return her to normal... eventually. “Aww it's no biggie,” Pammy smiled back as she tossed a look up at the sky and the Growlithe peering down from beyond it. “That and owe ya one, Riza!”
Nervously running a hand through her hair, Riza stifled a laugh. “No really, it's nothing. You don't need to-”
Beaming ear to ear, Pammy was all smiles. “Can't possibly thank you enough for cleaning up what should've been my mess and oh no I said the t-word didn't I.”
“Borkf...” Whining, Riza huffed as her neatly organized void instantly overflowed with fluff and feet. The Growlithe at risk of outgrowing and growsploding out of her very own plane of existence! Riza struggled to maintain her focus, her very sense of self, as power unimaginable overwhelmed her and fought to force her to a state of existence beyond even divinity's comprehension.
“Sorry. I forgot you and praise don't exactly play well together...” Pammy hehed as the brilliant blue sky took on orange and crimson hues as Growlithe fluff encroached upon and overwhelmed the planet. All of time and space at risk of simply being subsumed and becoming a part of Riza. At least until she gathered herself and plucked everyone and everything out from her strands of fluff one by one and delicately put it all back together. “One of these days, Riza! One of these days I'll remember not to thank you and oh no.”
Pammy's form shuddered as her purple fur turned orange and her curled mousey tail unfurled into an explosion of fluff.
“Nth time is the charm, right?” Riza sighed as she found herself overwhelming, if not possessing, Pammy and her very state of being. With a huff, her head tossed back with a groan, the Rattatta turned Growlithe stamped her ballooning canine paws impatiently while she waited for inevitable ascendance to run its course. At the very least she was an old hand at cleaning up these kinds of messes...
Requests made by:
kingdead
redstiza
coracroma
march-dragon
vdo
Assorted Streaming Shenanigans
By: RaddaRaem
Galarian Girth
Requested by VDO
Harrumphs, howls, borks, and aroos sounded out from beneath Raja's corpulent form as she slithered on through the cosmos. Perched atop her hood, Jirachi trembled as he cupped his face in his nubby hands.
“Is this really...” the Psychic and Steel type groaned as he refused to finish his thought. Any protest would only serve to encourage her. “Do you have to...” Jirachi started before petering out once more. He bit down on his lip and clenched his fists. “THIS IS OLD DIVINITY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, RAJA! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST HALF ASS THIS?!”
The Arbok snrrked and sashayed her hips. Shockwaves, captured in the clouds rippling out across the Galar continent, roared out at the speed of sass as the Arbok made herself known. Dynamaxed Pokemon and their oftentimes equally enormous trainers regarded her horizon blotting form with reverent awe. “What's wrong with me full-assing it?”
Beads of stardust twinkled off of Jirachi as he hurtled through the atmosphere, ice and rain trailing off his shoulders, while he circled round the Arbok's mind reeling curves. He stared daggers at the plump Poison type in between doling out apologies to the regal canines pinched tight between her folds of flab. “EVERYTHING! We're guests you... you...”
“Avatar of avarice? Goddess of gluttony? Supreme Sassmaster?” Raja teased. Brows arched and lips pursed, she regarded the Dynamaxed, if barely visible, inhabitants with some curiosity.
Disgusted groans wafted out from Jirachi's lips as he tried to tug Zamazenta free to no avail. The armored wolfess' complaints falling on sympathetic but ultimately powerless ears. “Would you stop with that? I'll call you as such when you've earned yourself a title you can't just...”
Hands coming to rest on her hips, Raja's chafing fingers sinking deep into her scaly pudge, the Arbok hissed playfully. “And how did you earn yours then?”
“I can tell you're being cute and trying to derail the conversation,” Jirachi snipped back as his grip upon Zamazenta's armored fingers slipped and faltered. “You can't just... you can't just barge into someone's domain, their pantheon, their very home and smother them under your enormousness!”
Raja blinked at the twinkling dust sized mote that was Jirachi before blankly gesturing at the now snake filled continent. “I mean. Clearly, I can.”
“YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO IS THE POINT. AUGH. Well how would you like it if someone barged into Hoenn and somehow, someway, smothered you under their gargantuan lard ass?”
“They won't,” Raja answered with a smirk and a roll of her eyes. “I'm all there is and will be,” she boasted with a puff of her chest.
Jirachi grimaced as he found himself hard pressed to disagree. “It's a hypothetical, okay?” Jirachi pouted. “Just pretend that...”
“Pretend that the crusty old deities of yore need to make way for more woman than they'll ever know what to do with? Already on it.” Chuckling, the Arbok reached down to pinch her ever ignored conscience between her bloated fingers. “Look. I know what power I wield. Am I irresponsible with it? Absolutely. Am I cruel, spiteful, or even remotely malicious with it? Never! And that's a lot more than can be said of these nobodies you insist I bend the knee to.”
Lips scrunched, Raja gently jingled Jirachi to and fro. “Just because this is the way things have always been done doesn't mean this is how they always have to be. Alright?” With a snort she relaxed her grip on the Psychic and Steel type and left him fluttering among the upper reaches of the atmosphere once more.
With a sigh, Jirachi took to rubbing at his shoulders. “Even so... what exactly did Lady Zamazenta do to earn such disrespect? She invited us for goodness sakes! You were nothing if not eager to sample her curry and gorge yourself on her admittedly naive hospitality! What's so insulting about a potluck?” Jirachi winced at the muffled bork that answered him.
Arms crossed about her chest, Raja huffed. “Oh, this? This is because she refused to let Roy lift a finger to help.” Raja cupped at her cleavage and nuzzled the incomprehensibly insignificant boyfriend tucked away within her curves. “Listen, Lady. This lovable little idiot is the greatest chef you or anyone else will ever know. You ARE going to try his food and you ARE going to let him flex over whatever star chefs you have on retainer and you ARE going to enjoy it!”
Arms hanging limply at his sides, Jirachi grumbled. “That's what this is about? Flexing on someone you've never met and showing them up at their own party?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Medammit,” Jirachi wailed.
A Divine Tutorial
Requested by Redstiza
The newly minted deity bunched his toes. Sheets of concrete and asphalt curled and compacted between his plump fluffy digits.
“Relax, newbie,” came the voice at the back of his head. “No matter what they tell you... EVERY one of us was like this when we started. Godhood is a tricky thing.”
With a heavy swallow the rabbit stepped forward. His tattered jeans brushed against his bony ankles while his cropped shirt fluttered in the gale force winds his very movements kicked up. Skyscrapers shifted uneasily in place as the tectonic force of his footfalls cascaded out far and wide.
“I said relax! You're overthinking things. If you imagine your every friggin footfall is going to cause catastrophe then it will. The rules are different for you now. When you're mortal, yeah, there are certain immutable rules you have to live by. Like physics and taxes. Now though? You decide what those rules are. You can have as apocalyptic or negligible an impact on the world around you as you can fathom.”
Fists clenched, the rabbit exhaled nervously. Ears flopped down, he daintily stepped forward. His ears immediately perked up. The newfound rubble he had kicked up didn't even so much as jostle out of place.
“See? Not so hard. You'll only have a destructive impact on the world around you if you want to.”
Biting down on his lip, the rabbit stepped forward. The claustrophobic city streets remained unmoved. Trash continued to tumble down along sidewalks. Skyscrapers remained placid and otherwise unshakable. Sighing in relief, the rabbit patted at the knot coming undone in his chest.
“You good? Great. Now next thing is getting yourself some followers now that you won't... ehh I won't finish that thought lest your imagination run wild. You know how to handle yourself.”
The rabbit froze at the prospect of his multi-story self... evangelizing himself to the masses.
“Like it or not newbie that's what it takes to get by as a god! Need a little faith. Some prayers don't hurt neither. And you don't have to have people worship you out of fear or anything. Can be out of love or adoration too even. Or maybe they just think you're hot stuff. With the internet I mean goddamn. Can have people lusting over and praying to you on the daily just for being your huge and lanky self and you'll never even know it.”
Lips pulled flat, the rabbit let his shoulders go slack.
“I'm just being honest! Sure some of it might be voyeuristic and creepy but what can you do? Go on out there and introduce yourself. Don't have to put on airs of divinity or that you're a god of... actually we never did settle on your niche did we? Yeah scratch that. Just go out there and make a splash! Somebody's bound to notice and like what you're offering.”
Rubbing his hand through his hair, and along his ears, the rabbit shook his head uneasily.
“Oh yes they will. They better, anyway. Since this is where I quit holding your hand and do away with the safety rails.”
As that thought finished echoing within the rabbit's head he winced as waves of light rippled out from him in waves. Shadows came to walk the streets and, in time, they solidified into distinct silhouettes. Soon a rainbow of colors came to fill in the details as a sea of humanity filled the city streets once more. Some gawked at the enormous foot print now holding up traffic. Others simply ignored the inconvenience and went about their daily business.
“Wait wait wait!” exclaimed the rabbit as he found himself alone and almighty among the crowds.
“Relaxxxxxx. You're just one god of many here. It's normal, it's routine. Figured I'd start you off someplace safe where people won't make much of a fuss. Once you've snagged yourself your first follower I'll be in touch. Later, Sen!”
“Dammit,” Sen pouted as his ears flopped once more. Tufted tail wiggling behind him, he rubbed a hand along his shoulder. Even though he had always resented the thought, the feeling, of being the center of attention it still felt a little weird knowing that he... wasn't? His broad bare feet, taking up the entirety of two-way street, earned little more than annoyed honks. Sen belted out a hurried apology as he stepped forward and imagined, pleaded, that his soft and swollen soles would crash down gently on anything and everything before him.
He shuddered at the sensation of his puffy paws planting down upon vehicle after vehicle and leaving them gently bouncing in place along their suspensions as he lifted up his heel. Phew. At least he had the hang of that. Aimlessly, Sen wandered among the city streets. His footfalls silent and inconsequential. The rabbit's prodigious presence having little if no impact on the world around him.
Hours passed. Just drinking in the thigh high city from heights he could only have ever dreamed of in the past as Sen simply familiarized himself with his new state of being.
“Umm... excuse me?”
Sen's ears perked. His zen disrupted by a muffled question directed at him. “Hello?”
“Down here,” came the follow up. Along with a tickle against his toes.
“Oh god. Oh me. I mean...” Kicking his foot up behind him, Sen laughed nervously at a tiny tanuki embedded into his sole. “I am so so so so soooooo sorry,” he hurriedly blurted out as he peeled his unintended soleaway off his foot.
“No no it's... it's okay,” the tanuki coughed as he came to a rest in Sen's palm. “You picked me up a couple blocks back.”
Sen's face took on a crimson hue as he dropped to his knees and lowered his newfound acquaintance to the ground.
“Really it's okay! It was uhhh... it was nice,” the tanuki mumbled. “Maybe not my preferred method of travel but it beats taking the bus at any rate,” he offered with a blush.
“I'll just disappear forever now,” Sen responded as he hurriedly rose to his feet. Aughhhh. His first act as a god was to accidentally kidnap someone via unintended footsie? No no no no no he would never live this down.
“No wait!” plead the tanuki. “Really it's... it's okay. Not all that often you meet a god, you know?”
Sen curled his toes and barely resisted the urge to bolt off in shame. “I-if you're sure...” he mumbled under his breath. “I'm sorry, I really am. I'm just embarrassingly new to this.”
The tanuki tilted his head back and peered up past toes taller than he was. “Mind if I ask your name?”
Sen wanted nothing, nothing more, than to run and hang his head in shame.
“Hey now,” came a familiar voice in the back of the rabbit's head. “Getting off on the wrong foot there, newbie? Heh. It's a little unorthodox sure but... why not hear him out?”
The crimson hues burning bright along Sen's cheeks faded as he tucked his chin against his chest. “Not really, I guess? It's... it's Sen. Your newfound god of I don't even know what yet.”
“You were supposed to leave that out,” tutted the voice.
“I panicked, okay?” Sen mentally snipped back.
Tail curled around his legs, the tanuki blushed fiercely at that choice of words. “Sen, huh?”
The god nodded. “You? Might do me some good to know the name of who I should be apologizing to,” he weakly smirked.
“It's Soken. Your newfound umm... I had something and then I lost it,” he giggled as he couldn't help but smile shyly at the rabbit's looming visage.
“Don't worry, I found it,” teased the voice at the back of Sen's head. “Your newfound friend and follower. Not bad, newbie. You're off to a strong start.”
Swelling Streamer
Requested by KingDead
Leaning back into his chair, pillow propped up behind him and orb tipped tail resting upon the floor, Radda yawned as he peered at his computer screen. A cavalcade of conversation streamed down along the side of the monitor as his audience mused among themselves what and who the Mareep ought to write about next.
“Anytime now,” Radda smirked as he idly tapped away at the keyboard and all but narrated the course of the evening. The cursor danced across the stream as, with a slight delay, transcribed words appeared before his audience.
A dash of red, a whisper as it were, jumped to attention as Radda couldn't help but laugh at the many comments reflecting on the sheer metaness of it all.
“Yes, KD?” Radda answered. Unaware of the faint glow emanating from within his keyboard, the Mareep quietly conversed with a certain silly wolf off screen.
“Sheepy! March and I will be right over! ^_^”
The Mareep couldn't help but cock his head to the side. “Like... right now? I'm streaming! You're watching it even. Both of you are.”
“Yeah but nothing beats watching you write in person!”
Radda couldn't help but raspberry at that line of logic. “KD yiu dont ne3ed an 3excsue to hang out./”
“What the...” Brows furrowed, the Mareep couldn't help but grimace at the torrent of typos that accompanied his last message back. Fat fingering the keyboard was one thing but this was just pitiful!
CRRRK
A worried bleat escaped from the sheep's snoot as the legs of his chair voiced their protest at holding his wooly rump aloft. Only until it was too late did Radda realize and recognize just what had transpired as arcs of green energy crackled out from his keyboard and wrapped around his lengthening limbs.
“I know but still! You're my wooly wonder after all ^_^”
“KJHADAETR satoooooooop” Radda pleaded as the plastic keys crunched beneath his keratin tipped fingers. The wondrous wolf's growy energies, carried along things as innocuous as private messages, flooded into the Mareep with KingDead's every digital utterance.
The comments streaming down along the sides of the stream turned to confusion as unintelligible combinations of consonants and numbers started to overflow the screen.
CRNNNNNCH
“Bahh!” With a bleat, Radda tumbled back as his ever expanding rear, and everything else, crushed his chair beneath him. Splinters and stuffing exploded out from beneath him as sparks crackled off of his wool.
“Oooh ooh! I came up with a really fun idea for you even! March too! Can't wait to see what you do with it when we get there! ^_^”
“There isn't going to be one by the time you get here...” the Mareep mumbled as surges of growth overtook him in waves.
BUMP
His hooves and blue fuzzed soles pressed against the walls alongside his computed as his blonde haired head bumped against the ceiling.
BADUMP
Crunch went the computer tower and monitor between Radda's thickening hooves. “Oh come on I just built that!” the Mareep whined as his pajamas strained to contain the billowing plumes of wool accumulating upon his person.
BAWUMP
Limbs tucked close, Radda groaned as he could feel his furniture crunch beneath him. His tail thwacked aside his refrigerator. Cupboards came crashing down off the walls and dishes crashed raucously to the cracked hardwood floor below. Walls bowed out and streams of water gushed free as sinks were simply ripped out of the walls by the Mareep's ever encroaching mass.
“Blech. Maybe I shouldn't announce my streams next time around...” Radda huffed as he felt one last surge overtake him.
---
“You're sure he doesn't mind?” March asked. The massively muscled storm dragon, struggling to be contained by his paltry clothing, bumped shoulders with the wolf at his side.
“Of course not! He loves our company and we love his!”
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMBLE
WOOLSPLOSION!
With a deafening thoom a shower of tile, brick, wood splinters, and wool erupted out from where Radda's house once stood. As the dust settled a gargantuan silhouette came into focus and a very flumpy, if not a bit grumpy, Mareep came into view.
“Sheepy!” KingDead delightedly exclaimed as he rushed up to the towering electric ovine and hugged into his wooly thigh. “You didn't have to go and make such an entrance for us!”
“No, I sure didn't,” Radda sighed as he flattened his brows.
The Getaway
Requested by Coracroma
By the time the guards had realized what was afoot it was already too late. A crash of glass. The boil and hiss of a tonic reacting to the open air. Whatever fumes it had expelled were indistinguishable from the suffocating mist they had been marching through.
In between hacking coughs and wheezes the leader of the guard called out into the mist. “Men! Report!” shouted the terrier. His plate armor noisily clacked with his heavy breaths. Drawing his short sword he whirled about in place as he fumbled through the fog. Struggling to hone in on the calls and coughs he received in response.
THOOM
A bone rattling quake rippled through the land and sent the terrier stumbling to the ground. “A mage?” he hurriedly thought. The tremors continued in irregular though no less terrifying force. “Planning to have the earth swallow us whole, no doubt. Disoriented and lost among the fog. Unable to see one another much less the ground beneath our feet.”
The terrier bared his teeth at the thought. He knew that the job was to be dangerous. Escorting the kingdom's riches beyond its borders always was. Yet to think that these were the lengths that such vile souncdrels would go to...
THOOM
“Think,” he told himself. Shouts and worried yells carried along the mist as the tremors grew stronger. Whereas each and every crash of the earth only amplified in strength and cacophony the calls of his men grew ever weaker and fainter in turn. “They can't possibly know who they're targeting one by one. Just keep my wits. Anticipate their attacks best I can.”
THOOM
With a grunt the terrier leapt. Ankles burning and throbbing with pain, the captain of the guard had at the very least managed to keep himself upright. It was possible, painful but possible, to grapple with whatever this fiend had in store.
THOOM
Another leap and another pained and bone rattling landing. Panting, the terrier all but crunched the grip of his sword between his armored palms.
THOOM
There! A figure in the fog! Roaring, the guard captain lurched forward and sank the length of his blade into it.
TUNK
Flesh this was not. Grunting, the terrier tugged and struggled to rip his weapon free from whatever it was he had pierced. Its surface was scuffed yet taut. Rough to the touch and radiating warmth. Was it a golem? A distraction conjured up by the spellcaster in the off chance someone managed to see through their spell?
“Hey now...” boomed a voice through the mist. It echoed and reverberated from every which direction.
“Show yourself, spellcaster!” roared the captain. “The spoils of my kingdom will not be taken without a fight!”
The voice snrrked. “Cute.”
Yelping, the terrier was knocked back as the mass lifted itself only to slam back down before him. A gale of wind was forced out from beneath it and, for a moment, its true form was revealed. That of... a hobnosed boot.
The owner of said boot, a jackal grinning wickedly from on high, waved down dismissively at the insignificant existence before her.
“At ease, captain. I'm no spellcaster though I'm flattered you think highly enough of my capabilities to mistake me for so. But a simple and petty thief is what I be,” her voice boomed. “And here you are scuffing my favorite pair of boots. The least a gentleman like yourself could do is offer to pay for the damages down. Worry not. This since abandoned cart you tried and failed to protect might, it just might, cover the costs emotional and otherwise that you incurred.”
Flashing a toothy smile the jackal whapped her hand against a towering wooden structure. The terrier gawking as windmill sized wheels came into focus through the mist.
“Oh don't be like that,” she cooed as she stepped forward. Her latest footfall sending the captain horizontal to the ground. “Your men are unharmed. As will you. It's but a simple shrinking potion I afflicted you with! One easily reversed, at my leisure, provided you cooperate.”
Snarling, the terrier drew a dagger from his belt and held it out towards the sky smothering hand reaching down towards him.
“Come now, captain. Do you really wish to be left to your own devices out here in the wilderness? In a kindgom not your own in a state such as this?”
The terrier's composure faltered as he dropped his weapon. He promptly acked as thick pillars of furred flesh roughly coiled around him and hoisted him up into the air.
“Thought as much.” With her free hand she flipped open a satchel hanging from her belt. Contained within were the disappeared guards. Groaning and disheveled.
“Here's how I see our professional relationship panning out. You tell me just what kind of forces will follow in your wake so I can plan accordingly around them. And then, once time enough has passed, I'll offload this onto someone who recognizes the value of your kingdom's riches. You'll help me identify who that might be. And after all is said and done I'll return you and your men to your proper place with the only damage done being to your precious pride. Do we have an agreement?”
Muffled shouts rumbled within the terrier's thorat as a gloved finger firmly pressed against his snout and silenced him.
“Oh no need to answer right away!” she taunted as she shoved the uncooperative canine into her pocket. “You have all the time in the world to ruminate on it.”
Wardrobe Malfunction
Requested by VDO
Tongue blepped out, Ethan clawed desperately at his bulged out neck.
“Y-you too?” Emerald asked worriedly as her heaving breasts strained at her gown.
“It fit this morning...” Ethan groaned in between shallow breaths. The hyena's buttoned up shirt, clinging form fittingly to his every curve, all but throttled his neck. Pale blue fabric, crafted from a gas giant to be light and breathable, pulled apart by the seam as a button of bone burrowed its way into his neck in an ill fated attempt to hold it together.
“ACK!” Ethan yelped. With a painful POP his billowing neck, all but melded into his shoulders, forced his collar open and sent the uncooperative button ricocheting out with the force of a sonic boom. Sighing, Ethan allowed his shoulders to droop. The hyena rolling his eyes at the pronounced rips that cascaded down his backside in waves. A confetti of cotton and linen billowed up behind him as his formal attire, and the undershirt beneath it, hung limply from his shoulders. Torn in two and clinging to his mountainous musculature like sleeves. The gas giant that comprised it slowly dissipated into mist as Ethan was left to puff fitfully at the locks of hair draped over his forehead.
Emerald fared little better. Biting down into her lip, she trembled as she remained perfectly stand still. Any movement, no matter how minute, threatened catastrophe. The straps of her gown, painfully embedded into the valleys of striped flesh that were her shoulders, creaked at the prospect of covering so much woman. Then there was the matter of fact that her gown, studded with stars and black as the night sky, struggled to stretch down past the celestial spheres that were her breasts! Tail fwipped up between her thighs, Emerald struggled to keep herself presentable as her nipples, perked and erect, strained at her gown. Low rumbles rippled throughout Emerald's attire as her gown, a universe, and an ever expanding one at that, tried and failed to contain the goddess it was wrapped around. Rips formed throughout as the hyena's existence was simply too much to contain! Pops and snaps erupted all across it as black holes tore asunder and stars went supernova in rapid succession.
With a pitiful meep, Emerald knocked her knees together as her jet black gown glowed warm and bright before exploding into a shower of stardust and dark matter. “I mean... this is the Aesir we're talking about here. Surely they won't mind if we attend a tad bit under dressed!” Emerald gently offered.
“That's not the poiiiiint,” Ethan whined as he crossed his arms about his chest. “We are deities with powers unimaginable, our capabilities ever increasing, yet neither of us can manage to clothe ourselves!”
“Ethan it's-”
“No it's not!” he whined. “I miss pants, Emerald! I really do!”
“I knowwww,” she sighed before pulling him into a creation crushing hug. Multiple big bangs erupted between the couple as they embraced. Their reality defying biceps bulging and tensing as they lovingly squeezed at one another. “I will admit...” Emerald said with a blush. “It is nice every once in a while seeing you squeeze into woefully undersized leggings. My hunky husband's impossible assets leaving little if anything to my active imagination...”
“E-Emerald please! L-let's pick this back up after our meet and greet with divinity shall we?” Ethan huffed as hungry kisses accumulated upon his cheeks.
Big and Tall
Requested by KingDead
Static crackled over the intercoms as Hiroshi wandered through the aisles and tended to rumpled and displaced articles of clothing.
“AHAHAHA! So, dutiful customers, I see you have found yourselves trapped within my store... by my outstanding deals and courteous customer service! Yes, here at Bell Hell's Big and Tall we cater to both the staturally gifted and easily overlooked. You may remember me, and my photogenic face and debonair voice, from my various attempts at tri-county domination and general villainy.”
The red panda couldn't help but snort as his boss continued to schmooze over the loud speakers. Patrolling past the circular clothes rack, Hiroshi dutifully straightened out sun dresses. Checking and double checking that the hangers they were draped from properly communicated what sized clientele they were intended for.
“Those days are long since behind me as, following one of my many defeats at the hands of my former nemesis, the Marvelous Micro, I realized that my various and one-off contraptions actually had practical applications! Much like Size Rayinator! Here at Bell Hell's Big and Tall we recognize that there is no such thing as one size fits all. Everyone is different and your wardrobe should reflect that! Via my groundbreaking inventions, which are now dedicated to the evils of capitalism, we can resize and refit your clothing to perfectly match you and your tastes!”
Hiroshi continued to pitter patter about. His dress shoes scuffing gently against the tiled floor as he wandered into and out of dressing rooms and collected discarded hangers.
“Also, as I am legally obligated to do so, those of you who were previously inconvenienced by my nefarious, though mostly petty schemes, are entitled to a 15% off coupon! Simply present a newspaper clipping listing yourself among one of my many aggrieved parties and a sales associate will happily assist you.”
With a crackle and buzz the speakers went quiet. Shaking his head, Hiroshi crossed his arms about his chest and looked out over the expanse of cotton, cloth, and denim. Sure, the busy work could be tedious. And it was strange how he and his coworkers were referred to as 'minions' rather than employees. That and maaaaaaaybe Bell Hell's free wheeling announcements and advertisements bordered on the megalomaniacal. But the Big and Tall treated him right! The benefits were generous enough, pay was decent, his own prior henching record was all but ignored, and the clientele was something else. From mice barely reaching past his ankles to hulking wolves his ears brushed against the ceiling tiles it was oddly... reassuring knowing how valuable and precious a place this was to those who were anything but average.
BING BONG
Hiroshi's rounded ears flicked at the chime.
“Attention, sales associates. Would those of you certified to handle heavy machinery capable of matter manipulation please report to the Fitting Room. Again, those few sales associates trained and properly certified to handle machinery capable of matter manipulation please report back to the Fitting Room. Thank you.”
BONG BING
Eyes gently rolling about their sockets, Hiroshi raspberried. “You could've just said wah get on back here...” he smirked.
“Alright so what do we got here?” Hiroshi asked. A comically oversized ray gun, bolted to the floor with tesla coils wrapped around its barrel, hummed gently behind him.
A giraffe, her hooves clacking noisily against the concrete floor, strutted over with bundles of suits tucked beneath arms. She allowed them to unceremoniously flop upon the table before her with a pronounced whumpf. “We are looking at... a mass upsizing. For a wedding party that had reached out to us recently. Family friend of Bell Hell's, another hush hush villain, you get the deal. Following a rather disastrous bachelor party it seems that the groom and his best men's orders are woefully undersized.”
Hiroshi cocked a brow. “Okaaaay?”
The giraffe shrugged. “From what I gathered they responsibly irresponsible. They had ordered more liquor and scotch than they could ever stomach and, rather than risk their health or letting it go to waste, they had the brilliant idea to enlarge themselves so that they could safely imbibe it all. It seemed like a smart idea at the time.”
“I mean...” Hiroshi tossed his arms out to his sides. “Business is business. So what are we boosting these up to? Extra Large? Extra Extra Large?” Grunting, the red panda scooped up a pile of pin stripes and bumbled over in front of the Size Rayinator.
Lips pursed, the giraffe squinted at her tablet. “We are looking at... Quintuple Double Extra Large.”
“And we are looking at an order of how many?” One by one, Hiroshi slid the suits onto hangers as his footsteps echoed noisily among the back room.
The giraffe clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth. “We are looking attttt... ooh. Goodness that must have been quite the party. We are looking at a total of fifteen upsizings!”
Hiroshi groaned as he allowed his shoulders to slouch. “We'll be here all day... Augh. And my shift ends soon as it is and not like anyone else is qualified for this.” Brows pulled flat, the red panda hummed as he looked to the bulls eye painted onto the floor before the Size Rayinator. Along with the warning plastered on the wall behind it.
“WARNING: ONLY ONE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING IS TO BE RESIZED AT A TIME. ANY MORE SO RUNS THE RISK OF THE MATTER MANIPULATION BEAM ARCING UNPREDICTABLY. TRUST ME. THE MARVELOUS MICRO BECAME THE MARVELOUS MACRO THAT WAY AND HOO WAS THAT AN EMBARASSING SELF OWN. - BELL HELL”
Cheeks puffed out the giraffe hummed. “I mean... I won't tell anyone if you don't?” she offered. She snickered at the sight of Hiroshi immediately wheeling the entire order onto the bulls eye in response. “Here, I'll do you one better. I'll make myself scarce even. That way your good word is all they have to go off of.”
“Appreciate it, Jenelle.” Sending her off with a wave, the red panda stepped on up besides the Size Rayinator. His padded fingertips deftly twisting at a dizzying array of knobs, switches, and buttons. “And that should be it!” Hiroshi boasted before slapping his palm against a preposterously big red button.
A low whirr sounded up from within the coils of the Size Rayinator as the tesla coils crackled alive and the barrel of the raygun took on an otherworldly green glow.
BWIRRRRRRRR
PEWWWWWWWWWW
A blinding beam erupted from the end of the barrel and bathed the neatly organized suits and tuxedos with that same otherworldly glow. Energy, crackling wildly, arced off from the clothes as they doubled, tripled, quadrupled, and something-led in size. Spilling well beyond the bulls eyes as a veritable mountain of neatly tailored fabric rose up before Hiroshi.
“That should be just... about... enoWW!” Yelping, Hiroshi spasmed as a furious bolt of energy leapt from the towering tuxedos to his own. Gritting his teeth, the red panda slammed a swelling fist against the red button once more.
BEZOOOOOOOOOW
The ominous light show filling the back room faded as the Size Rayinator was forced to a hard stop. Lingering growy energy, genergy as it were, crackling and sparking off of the mass order and painfully zapping at Hiroshi.
“O-okay. Okay I mean this is...” Hiroshi hurfed as his chest puffed out and the buttons on his suit tugged taut. “This isn't the end of the world. I shut it off quickly enough!”
RRRRRIP
The red panda's bloated and bulbous toes popped free from his dress shoes.
“I mean it's not like people will be staring at my feet as I'm making my way out-”
LOUDER RRRRRRRRRIP
Biting down into his lip, Hiroshi winced as his ballooning arms reduced his sleeves to confetti.
“There's a back entrance-”
GROWSPLODE
Suit and undershirt tearing down his back, Hiroshi's cratering voice oofed as he found his head suddenly crashing through a ceiling tile. His broad shoulders straining against the rafters as dust, insulation, and wiring snapped painfully against him.
Head peeking through the roof, Hiroshi peered down worriedly at the tiles beside him cracking and giving way as his shoulders soon followed.
Though muffled, Hiroshi could hear the speakers crackling back on within the store below as his jutting pectorals bwoomphed aside an air conditioner. A familiar voice took to airwaves to not only console the customers spooked by the sudden quaking and shaking but to address the elephant shaming red panda who had since outgrown the room.
“I put the signs there for a reason, minion! I mean trusted employee. *Sigh*. Well, looks like somebody just earned themselves a write-up! Tsk tsk. And you were so close, Hiroshi! Looks like Employee of the Month evades your grasp once again. Seriously this is like what the third or fourth time this has happened?”
If You Give a Goddess Some Praise...
Requested by MarchDragon
Brows arched, Riza gently kneaded at her fiery furred temples. “Nth time is the charm, right?” she weakly laughed to herself as she scooped up a handful of dark matter floating among the void. Having someone outgrow and tear existence asunder for only the umpteenth time it was... well... it was honestly getting to be a bit bothersome!
The Growlithe borkfed as she rolled errant nebula, galaxies, and star dust about her broad and padded palm. Slowly, surely, the building blocks of creation congealed within her grasp. “At the very least I'm getting to be an old hand at this,” Riza smirked. With a bump of her wrist she gently sent the sphere floating back into its proper place. With a snap of her fingers, time resumed within it and life proceeded on as if nothing was amiss. Minus a couple of hours here and there. The damage done by a certain someone outgrowing their planet, crunching its mantle and leaving the sundered planet pancaked between their bloated toes, along with goodness knows how many solar systems subsumed and galaxies gobbled down was conveniently undone. Riza sighing contentedly at the knowledge that the growpocalypse that the mortals of that particular reality experienced would amount to nothing more than a fever dream.
“Now as for you,” Riza harrumphed as she turned her gaze towards a Persian frozen in place. The Growlithe pinched at the nape of the feline's neck and violently shook her as time flowed once more at the canine's command. Panicked mrowrs sounding out from the feline as she puffed out into a swirly eyed puff. “I. Wait a minute. You're a repeat offender aren't you?”
“Who dares lecture meOWWWOWWWOWWWOWWOWWOWWW!”
“Rocq, please.” Head cocked to her side, Riza hmmed and hrmmed as she mused just how to properly punish this pernicious feline. The power to lord and loom over others had quite clearly gone to her head and showed no signs of ever abating. No matter how thorough a tutting that was administered this darn girl just kept making a mess of things!
Groaning pitifully, Rocq hung limply from Riza's fingers as the Growlithe floated towards the reality that had the misfortune to call itself the Persian's home. She gingerly tapped a finger against it and cleared her throat. “Say, Pammy? You still slumming around in there?”
Crackles of static and waves of white noise rippled along a nearby orb. “I can be! Why? Wait. Is it-”
“Yes, it's Rocquelle.”
"It's Rocquesanne..." whined the Persian.
A disgusted sigh emanated from the crackling and glitching reality. “I swear! The instant I go sight seeing and that girl gets up to no good. Chuck her my way at your leisure. I'll deal with her.”
“Appreciate it. Babysitting just isn't my thing, you know?” With a smirk, Riza chucked the flailing cat back into her home universe and watched, with no small amount of satisfaction, as Rocq haphazardly sailed through the cosmos, bonking against many an asteroid field as she went, before roaring through the Earth's atmosphere and screaming all the while. A trail of code and glitching shapes followed soon after her and came to concentrate themselves before Rocq's lavish and unearned mansion.
Reconstituting themselves into a Rattatta of mind boggling proportions, Pammy scrunched her lips and shook her head. Head tilted back, the rodent forced his mouth open wide and ahhhhhhed. Sonic booms radiated out from Pammy. Screaming all the while, Rocq pleaded for the dignity of at least skidding face down to a halt.
GULP
BRAP
Cheeks puffed out, Pammy stifled a belch as Rocq's very being was rewritten from cat to calories and came to accumulate upon the Rattatta's thighs as thoughtless fat. Pammy would return her to normal... eventually. “Aww it's no biggie,” Pammy smiled back as she tossed a look up at the sky and the Growlithe peering down from beyond it. “That and owe ya one, Riza!”
Nervously running a hand through her hair, Riza stifled a laugh. “No really, it's nothing. You don't need to-”
Beaming ear to ear, Pammy was all smiles. “Can't possibly thank you enough for cleaning up what should've been my mess and oh no I said the t-word didn't I.”
“Borkf...” Whining, Riza huffed as her neatly organized void instantly overflowed with fluff and feet. The Growlithe at risk of outgrowing and growsploding out of her very own plane of existence! Riza struggled to maintain her focus, her very sense of self, as power unimaginable overwhelmed her and fought to force her to a state of existence beyond even divinity's comprehension.
“Sorry. I forgot you and praise don't exactly play well together...” Pammy hehed as the brilliant blue sky took on orange and crimson hues as Growlithe fluff encroached upon and overwhelmed the planet. All of time and space at risk of simply being subsumed and becoming a part of Riza. At least until she gathered herself and plucked everyone and everything out from her strands of fluff one by one and delicately put it all back together. “One of these days, Riza! One of these days I'll remember not to thank you and oh no.”
Pammy's form shuddered as her purple fur turned orange and her curled mousey tail unfurled into an explosion of fluff.
“Nth time is the charm, right?” Riza sighed as she found herself overwhelming, if not possessing, Pammy and her very state of being. With a huff, her head tossed back with a groan, the Rattatta turned Growlithe stamped her ballooning canine paws impatiently while she waited for inevitable ascendance to run its course. At the very least she was an old hand at cleaning up these kinds of messes...
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
Listed in Folders
Ooh! These fun silly stories are up, hurrah :D Thank you again for the delightful words, Radda <3 These are very silly and sheepy and good!
You know, Raja kind of has a point about things needing to change. Not all legendary Pokemon are as nice as her and Jirachi, some are pretty dang mean. And Roy not getting to help with the potluck is a totally justifiable reason for usurping Zamazenta's domain.
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