*Sigh...* I dont find much reason of why keep posting depressive journals where people dont read it, and i dont know why i am still doing it... Look, im tired of not getting any help with it... So i decided i should express my depression right here just like an journal...
Ill be honest... My childhood wasnt really that good due to my parents and i living in the poor side, that is not really a problem... What is really a problem is that i dint had anybody neaby me, childhood has been really lonely for me... I already told about it on the 2020 end of the year group picture... Everything changed when i first was on FA, that was 2 years ago... I really felt like i depended on something... But everything changed at the start of of "august 6 of 2020" where i had my first depression, i dont really want to talk about that one...
But the next depression came in "november 23 of 2020" where i started feeling offended because there was a lot of art that my friends gets for free while i still had way to go... 5 days later i felt like i was being ignored by everyone, specially one of my best friends... I dint really wanted to blame him a lot, but by doing it my depression got worser and worser... And the problem was another dude...
"Janaury 15 of 2021"... Same problem i had like november 28, but thinking about it much worser... I started thinking "Why i dont have any friends? Why i am single? Why i am still being ignored?" I felt like crap shit, just like it says on the title where i made that journal... Problem was fixed, but i am still thinking about having no friends... (Forgot to mention that i dint really had an good birthday among my friends of FA)
And now... Today's problem was kind of a plan that i wanted to do... I've wanted to find more people to hang out with by at least trying it... Not of a success it was... Got 0% people out of it and i felt down about it and started thinking again "Why is my discord so empty of other friend's messages...?" I know i already said that i dint felt up on talking to anybody, but depression makes me think about it once again... I dont know what to say about it... Im not even depressed about the dude i've wanted to talk with, specially because he was doing a massive thing around Twitter and my best friend got involved into it... I dint really wanted to blame about that event because of my depression... Instead i tried becoming depressed about what i cant do with the friends that i have... I know that sounds kind of silly, but... That's what i think of it.........
I got no more to talk about it, meaning that this will be the end of this post... It wont stop me from making more depressive journals even when it goes away... And im really sorry for using this post to express my depression instead of using the journals... Nobody pays attention to it anyways...
With that said... I am gonna do a couple posts with one having importancy...
Thanks for reading...
Ill be honest... My childhood wasnt really that good due to my parents and i living in the poor side, that is not really a problem... What is really a problem is that i dint had anybody neaby me, childhood has been really lonely for me... I already told about it on the 2020 end of the year group picture... Everything changed when i first was on FA, that was 2 years ago... I really felt like i depended on something... But everything changed at the start of of "august 6 of 2020" where i had my first depression, i dont really want to talk about that one...
But the next depression came in "november 23 of 2020" where i started feeling offended because there was a lot of art that my friends gets for free while i still had way to go... 5 days later i felt like i was being ignored by everyone, specially one of my best friends... I dint really wanted to blame him a lot, but by doing it my depression got worser and worser... And the problem was another dude...
"Janaury 15 of 2021"... Same problem i had like november 28, but thinking about it much worser... I started thinking "Why i dont have any friends? Why i am single? Why i am still being ignored?" I felt like crap shit, just like it says on the title where i made that journal... Problem was fixed, but i am still thinking about having no friends... (Forgot to mention that i dint really had an good birthday among my friends of FA)
And now... Today's problem was kind of a plan that i wanted to do... I've wanted to find more people to hang out with by at least trying it... Not of a success it was... Got 0% people out of it and i felt down about it and started thinking again "Why is my discord so empty of other friend's messages...?" I know i already said that i dint felt up on talking to anybody, but depression makes me think about it once again... I dont know what to say about it... Im not even depressed about the dude i've wanted to talk with, specially because he was doing a massive thing around Twitter and my best friend got involved into it... I dint really wanted to blame about that event because of my depression... Instead i tried becoming depressed about what i cant do with the friends that i have... I know that sounds kind of silly, but... That's what i think of it.........
I got no more to talk about it, meaning that this will be the end of this post... It wont stop me from making more depressive journals even when it goes away... And im really sorry for using this post to express my depression instead of using the journals... Nobody pays attention to it anyways...
With that said... I am gonna do a couple posts with one having importancy...
Thanks for reading...
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 918 x 1280px
I’m so sorry you feel this way. I wish I could be there so that I can be a true friend to you, but COVID has stopped that too. Hope you find the help you need in this time.
Even if the pandemia ended, i would still prefer to be home...
I mean, you can still try to be my friend... But i dont know how it will go...
I mean, you can still try to be my friend... But i dont know how it will go...
I understand. I don’t want to make you anymore depressed than you already are. Maybe try doing something you consider fun? Something like playing a game, or just walking outside taking in the fresh air. That may help to at least take your mind off of those depressing thoughts.
Comments