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The Case of the Crowd Crush
Crush: (narrating) Hi; this is Crush. That's short for Bonecrusher. This is a long one, so stay with us, folks.
I'm named that because of my super strength, and yet even I have days where I worry I'm going to get crushed. It's bad enough my role as a FIFA referee means I deal with uncooperative players and managers, which is why events like the Superclasico (Argentina's biggest soccer game) and the Intercontiental Derby (Turkey's biggest soccer game). Both those events, because of CNG smugglings leading to the worst CNG explosions ever, killed 7 million people in Argentina, and 1.5 million people in Turkey.
Why am I saying this? These days, everybody is so used to CNG being the cause of reason, that it is extremely rare for CNG to not be involved in tragedies. Yet they do still happen. Take, for example, the Astroworld tragedy. Rapper Travis Scott organized the event in 2018, and he took the name from his third album. The miracle, if you can call it that, is that there was no CNG involved whatsoever, but people still died, and the G-52s and the C.I.D.F. were called in to assist everybody in restoring order to the chaotic scene. Scott didn't stop performing, however, and so it didn't surprise me that because of who our President is right now (Leo the Patriotic Lion), the result of this tragedy resulted in an abrupt sudden decline in sales and interest of rap and hip-hop. Why was that even invented? The only good rap songs are those rare few songs that speak about Knuckles the Echidna!
And yet, in spite of incidents like this, life rolls on. Leo Zanicchi is still the nation's greatest of Presdents we've ever had. The more these things happen, though, the easier it is for CNG to carry out its agenda of eradicating humanity for being too savage of a race.
It was a while back, but to get us all caught up on what's been happening, we start there, showing you how the G-52s and the allies got involved. We first learned of it in the middle of our other big arrangement, and that arrangement was the fact all those VPN employees who helped take down Xi Jinping, and ensure Liu the Confucian Lion now leads China, will be honored guests at the 2022 Winter Olympic Games in Beijing. Due to the CNG crisis, however, it will do what the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympic Games did: absolutely no members of the public allowed. Only special guests and authorized personnel can sit in the audience.
That said, on with the crushing.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Crowds after crowds of rabid fans breach the security gates and fences for a music festival there. Due to the sudden crowd surge, the city's resources are being strained beyond their limits, forcing the city's police to not only dress up in riot gear, but also use Roman style tactics with their riot shields to not only protect themselves, but also try to stop rabid fans from breaching the gates and fences.*
Police 1: Oh, sweet roses; there's too many of them!
Police 2: Heaven, have mercy! We're not going to be able to hold all of them back! Everybody! Testudo formation!
*The riot police use their riot shields to form their testudo formations as the rabid fans leap up on their shields to try to get to the music concert.*
Police 3: There's way more than 50,000 of these folks!
Police 4: It's got to be way more than the people who attend Furry Fury's concerts! Or is it?
Police 3: Either way, we're overpowered!
*The incoming passenger trains are jam-packed with rabid fans to the point that when they arrive, the fans spill out of the trains, rushing through the station and towards the concert. The whole scene in Houston looks like the fleeing crowds scenes from Godzilla, as fans even break the windows to leap out of them as others run through traffic to get to the concert.*
Rabid Fan 1: *Breaks a window open with a stone and deploys a collapsible ladder.* Go, go, go!
Rabid Fan 2: *Jumps off a bridge and runs through incoming traffic.* Whoo-hoooo!
Rabid Fan 3: *Deploys a ladder against a fence and breaches it to the concert.* Let's go, everybody!
*In the middle of the crowd rush, at least eight of the rabid fans get trampled to death. EMTs are working overtime as they become exhausted from the crowd surge and work overload.*
Civilian 1: Hey; I just want to go to work! *Uses the phone system in his car to let his boss know about the situation and that he's coming in late. The boss, of course, understands this.*
Civilian 2: HOLY [BLEEP] [BLEEP]! GET SOME SELF-CONTROL!
Civilian 3: Oh, no; there's people spilling off the bridges and windows to this concert! This is like something from Godzilla!
Civilian 4: I want to go home!
Civilian 5: Great! There's even heavy traffic coming through the suburbs! Where are these people coming from?! Who are these people?
Civilian 6: *Uses his car's interface to access the G-52 app.* Super C! Get your team here in Houston immediately! Please help us! There's a tidal wave of crazy fans here with no self-control!
*Crowds of rabid fans are also seen spilling over the fences as well. The chaos has gotten so bad, event staff are trying to shut down the event immediately.*
*WC, KS, USA*
Super C: *via app* Okay; stay calm! We're coming!
*Cripto provides portals so we can jump through. Bendraqi stays behind so he can continue to talk to the VPN staff.*
*Houston, TX, USA*
*We arrive.*
D.W.: YIKES!
Cripto: WHOA! My rock band's fanbase is this huge, but they don't behave like this!
Super C: Red alert! Shields up!
*Cripto provides protection for the riot police while Macho Mouse and the Flaming Cheetah get the civilians to safety.*
Tom the Patriotic Tiger: Who's performing?
Leo the Patriotic Lion: It's a festival, so there should be multiple performers.
Super Leo: Let's get you somewhere so you don't lose your temper.
*Super Leo helps Leo to safety so that he and the Secret Service avoid the crowds. They eventually run into the performers (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) and the event staff.*
Event Staff 1: Mr. President!
Leo: Hi; sorry for dropping in unannounced. But I'm in here so I don't have to snap out there; your fanbase is out of control.
Bendraqi: (narrating) Hi; sorry to interrupt, but prior to this incident, everybody had met in Wildcat City to make the announcement about the VPN employees being V.I.P. guests in China. This was also so they could introduce them to me. I think what they did was clever. We haven't really told the whole story here, but we're sort of skipping around; sorry about that. But this is why you see the comments Huizhong made down below. (Wildcat City also was introducing its people to techwear, but that's also a different story. Still, it was neat.)
As for Astroworld, even I was disturbed by what was going on. The robots the old me used would have been crushing all those people to pieces. Instead, I think there were at least 27 deaths, but the G-52s did get as many people to safety as they could.
*WC, KS, USA*
*Hosmunt/Huizhong stays with the VPN employees and Bendraqi.*
VPN Employee 3: So which name do you go by more?
Hosmunt/Huizhong: Huizhong, because of past Chinese administrations requiring all citizens to have a Chinese name, including ethnic groups that have their ethnic names. Even though Liu has changed that policy, most Chinese citizens with ethnic names choose to have secondary Chinese names, mainly because it is easier to interact with the ethnic Han majority in China.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Performer 1: I didn't tell them to act like this!
Performer 2: We didn't expect any of this.
Event Staff 2: Cody better not show up! This city looks like it's being raided by Vikings!
*Rabid fans are also seen running through the public garages to the festival as well.*
Civilian 5: They're coming in from everywhere!
Civilian 6: The streets are crowded like canned sardines!
*Several downtown businesses are having to close their skybridge doors from public access to protect their clients and employees. The crowd either breaches through the doors or break more windows to reach the festival anyways.*
Civilian 7: *Uses his phone to record the chaos of crowds of rabid fans spilling out the windows of several buildings. Eventually, several stores have to close their doors so the crowds don't come in and turn them into fire hazards.* Oh, goodness, no!
*As a result from the surging crowds coming to Houston, hundreds of rabid fans get injured from the stampede as ambulances are struggling to rescue them all. Eventually, helicopters are being called in to airlift the injured fans to the hospitals overworking the hospital staff.*
Jack: This has never happened here in Houston before.
Juno: At least it's not Buenos Aires years ago with the Superclásico where it is this times 100,000, complete with violence!
Zax: Oh, no; this city is drowning in rabid fans!
Event Staff 3: Hey; none of us expected any of this in Houston! We only can prepare for so much!
Leo: Do us a favor and cancel the event, please!
*Some of the fans almost trample Cripto.*
Cripto: OW! Will you stop that?!
Super C: Don't crush my number one!
Tom: I pray Cody doesn't do something stupid, like showing up!
Mechayote: Zax! Deploy the smoke and flash grenades! I've seen enough!
Zax: Yes, sir! *Tosses flash and smoke grenades to help disperse the crowds. The police uses flash and smoke grenades, too. Event staff finally manage to cancel the event as the fans eventually leave.*
Mechayote: *Flies over to Cripto to pull him away from the crowds and have him with Leo.* You all right?
Police 1: It's finally over!
Police 2: That was bad!
Police 3: I pray this never happens again.
Cripto: I'm okay; thanks for getting me out of there. The biggest crowd I ever sang for was at least 6 times that amount if I did the math correctly, but all those people behaved themselves. Plus, it was stadium seating, and they were restricted to their seats. This isn't like that.
Leo: What stadium was that?
Cripto: Wembley Stadium.
Leo: The United Kingdom.
Cripto: Yes. The biggest chunk of Furry Fury fans not living in the U.S. come from all the Commonwealth nations.
Leo: *to the police* I also pray hard this never happens again. The next time you want to do a festival like this, do it in a stadium where people are forced to sit in certain seats. Don't do this out in the open.
Super Tom: I hate to ask this, Your Majesty, but how would Kriegland have handled this?
C.K./King Leo: These scenes never would have happened on Kriegland. Those people died by accident. I've read stories of how Walmart's employees dying on Black Friday the same way: getting trampled by eager beavers. To answer your question, this wouldn't have warranted the death penalty. This would have just warranted life in prison. But then again, as I said, we saw anything 1950s onward when it comes to music as unbiblical. But was it really?
Dark Wolf: It really all depends on the lyrics, I'd say. Like the Cole Porter song says, "Anything goes."
Super C: Exactly. The lyrics make it or break it for me, even if there's no profanity involved. It's why I can't stand any song by the Doors, for example.
Cripto: I never was fond of Jim Morrison either.
Leo: All throughout history, however, there's been music that has gone against the Bible. You just have to know where to look so you can avoid it.
Mechayote: I see.
Police 1: We don't manage these events. The event and stadium staff do. We only provide protection to their events and other places throughout this city.
Police 2: Houston has a long history of holding outdoor festivals and events asides from this one and none of them had any problems like this.
Jack: Houston tends to be lax on some things but rarely do things get that bad.
Zax: Walmart and Black Friday never mix. This is why people take their shopping online these days.
Jack: Walmart is always going to exist.
Zax: Yet more people prefer the Amazon Basics brand over the Great Value brand.
Jack: Doesn't matter; they're always going to exist. Walmart and RVs go hand-in-hand like peanut butter and jelly.
Juno: No matter how much you try to convince the world the wonders of drone delivery and delivery robots, there's always going to be those who prefer shopping the traditional way; especially the ones who like Walmart at least. Then you got the others like Costco and Sam's Club.
Zax: Online shopping is a wonder, especially when it comes to clothes. You get clothes at your measurements delivered to you fresh from the factory these days.
Jack: People will always buy clothes in person, though. Uniforms 'R' Us in Wildcat City, for example?
*The event staff are cleaning up the mess and packing up.*
Event Staff 1: That was bad...
Event Staff 2: Mistakes were made.
Event Staff 3: Great; the streets are littered with fast food paper bags and wrappings along with similar stuff from the food trucks.
Event Staff 4: The stadium and convention halls are a mess, too. The other open events similar to this did just fine in Houston. We held cultural festivals, and not once did we have a problem close to this.
Event Staff 5: Who are these people? The other event crowds we dealt with in the past were nowhere like this!
Event Staff 6: Good heavens; the rap music scene is more garbage than before! Their partnerships with McDonald's and Fortnite to lure these crazy kids in was a mistake! Houston needs a much better tourism strategy than this!
Leo: (narrating) To say that it was garbage was an understatement, but it's the truth. It's noise pollution; that's all it is, really.
Event Staff 7: I hope those crazy fools get identified and arrested for vandalism breaking the windows, fences, and doors like that.
Event Staff 8: Our sports fans are far more civilized than this. Whenever the Houston Astros make it to the World Series, we just put on our Astros jerseys and cheer for our team like any other normal people would. We don't dress up like goons with running shoes and leap over fences and trash up the place like Rise of The Planet of The Apes.
Super C: And that's why we don't listen to rap music.
Cripto: There is literally one rap song I do like, and it is partial rap, partially sung, and all about Knuckles the Echidna!
*The C.I.D.F. are also investigating.*
C.I.D.F. Soldier 1: Sorry, sir. No CNG to be found.
Super C: Then maybe they were all just drunk or stoned.
Cripto: Any sign of Cody or his posse?
C.I.D.F. Soldier 2: No.
Cripto: Oh, that's good.
Jack: Oh; thank the heavens for that one.
Zax: This is going to take a while for Houston to recover from this.
*Later, everything goes back to normal. The city of Houston is under partial lockdown due to their downtown being a crime scene from the rabid fans. Meanwhile, in China, politicians want to invite the American VPN employees for their upcoming Olympics.*
*Beijing, China*
Politician 1: *In Chinese to Liu.* Our dearest and greatest President of China, Liu the Confucian Lion. The People's Congress here would like to invite those American VPN employees for our upcoming Olympics since our people have been wanting to see them.
Politician 2: *In Chinese* Many of our people have never seen these Americans behind those VPN companies and our people deserve to see them. The problem however is that the world is under a global lockdown due to CNG. But we believe that we have the resources to safely invite all these Americans and provide them the protection they need.
Politician 3: *In Chinese* Since they're the ones who liberated us from Jinping, we shall reimburse their stay in our finest hotels in Beijing right before and during the Olympics.
Politician 4: *In Chinese* We also brought the American ambassador with us here.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* That would be me. If Liu approves your invitation plans, I will forward the message to Leo and have him invite the requested Americans to come here. Personally, I think it is a great opportunity and because we are in Beijing, we should be safe from the CNG crisis since most of that in China tends to happen in Macao. Xinjiang has seen a slight increase in CNG activity but they're easily managed. Anyways, Liu, what do you think about inviting our VPN workers as VIPs here for the Olympics, since they're the ones behind the VPN services that your country's children and people purchased?
Chuong: *In Chinese as he strolls around the streets in winter clothes.* Man this place is cold! Oh wait, that's just winter here.
Rainier: *In Chinese* I kind of like it actually.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Mr. Letterman: So China wants to invite our VPN employees who took an indirect part in liberating their country from Jinping. Yet we have a global CNG crisis.
Politician 1: Not if we supply them with CNG-OFF since T2 made them and use our Secret Service agents to protect them.
Politician 2: But China will be providing our VPN workers tight security, too.
Mr. Letterman: We wait for Liu's approval first, since Leo is waiting for that.s
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I don't see why not. It was those actions that got rid of Jinping, and the best part of about that was there was no violence involved. This is the age where the best way for people to attack the world is to do it as a cyber war, not a war with actual weapons, propaganda, and sometimes music. So yes, let's invite those employees to Beijing. *He turns to Kenneth.* I hope you're enjoying your time here as ambassador. Do you still sing with your rock band? Also, would you mind telling Leo that I want to invite those people here?
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: Indeed. I feel the odds are he will invite those VPN workers because, as he saw it, it wasn't a question of if he was going to replace Jinping, but when. He told me he preferred to do it if there was no violence or bloodshed, and as with all parallels, he has the phenomenon going for him (which CNG started), where what he says goes. Period. I also say that because the Commander (Super C) used those CNG reasoners with the C.I.D.F., and it claimed that because Argentina and Turkey disobeyed what I said about soccer riots, those massive numbers of people died when smugglers used CNG to influence those big derbies.
Tom: Enough to make a grown tiger cry, but I won't. I know Superclasico is Argentina, but what is Turkey's?
Leo: Let me see. *He looks it up.* Intercontinental derby. That's any soccer match between rivals Fenerbahçe SK and Galatasaray SK; thus, 1.5 million people died in those tragedies, just as 7 million died in the Argentina tragedies. With Arslan in charge of Turkey, however, anybody who even thinks about doing any of those things, fan, player, or manager, is in for extremely severe consequences.
*His app beeps.*
Leo: Oh, it's Cody. *He answers it.* Hello?
Cody's voice: Howdy, Mr. President. Say; y'all didn't happen to come down to Houston, did ya?
Leo: Yes; the G-52s, including me, were there to put a stop of the rioting. Why?
Cody's voice: I felt I should tell y'all I was plannin' to investigate it to see what all them fusses were 'bout, but I changed my mind.
Leo: Good. The last thing we want is you going gun crazy again, or worse, mouth crazy. No CNG involved, however. Why do you ask?
Cody's voice: The police department called us to help investigate the aftermath. There's at least five dead people we done found who seem to be them Belarussian coaches wantin' athletes. Do they want gold that bad?
Leo: Apparently so. But gold comes at a price. Thank you for telling us that, though. See if you can find anybody who ended up losing their humanity and are now stuck as animals.
Cody's voice: You're welcome, partner.
Leo: *to his administration* Did you all hear that? Five more Belarussian coaches died in that chaos. Yet the C.I.D.F. didn't find any CNG. I think we'd better keep looking into this.
*China*
Kenneth: *In Chinese* I do. And I think Furry Fury can come here for the Olympics, too. *In English on his smartphone.* Mr. President! Liu wants to invite our VPN employees as V.I.Ps here for the Olympics! Also, it would be nice if Furry Fury can come here for the Olympics, too.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Jack: Wow; I didn't know things in Houston was that bad. I think this is a good idea to have the local Texas National Guard in Houston to take control over the city's entrances.
Zax: *His phone beeps.* Mr. President. It looks like Liu wants to invite our VPN workers as V.I.P.s for the upcoming Olympics for liberating China. Get ready to e-mail them!
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Marked crime scenes are prevalent throughout downtown as politicians are considering having the Texas National Guard involved to control the city's entrances to keep unauthorized non-residents out.*
Politician 1: It's even worse than I thought. We confirmed with the Belarusian consulate office here that five of their coaches were found dead at the festival.
Politician 2: That stampede. I don't think we should ever allow this festival again. Right now, I think this is a good idea to put this city under martial law.
Politician 3: There were drugs involved, too. Lots of alcohol. Mayor, I hate to say this, but let's have the Texas National Guard take over our city's entrances.
Turner: I don't know if that's a good idea, but we never had anything like this happen before. This was something else.
Politician 4: Just put the city under lockdown under the Texas National Guard! Even our governor understands this! Hundreds of people are severely injured after being trampled to near death!
Politician 5: Leo would do this, too! Just put Houston under martial law; otherwise someone will throw CNG into this mess as insult to injury! I'm still baffled there wasn't any!
Turner: If you say so. *He uses his smartphone to order the local Texas National Guard to take control of the city's entrances to keep non-residents out where only government officials, authorized heroes (including "Callahan Cody" and his posse), and residents are allowed.*
*Civilians are calling for the festival to be cancelled forever as they express their dislike of rap music more.*
Civilian 1: All these lives just for some garbage rap music; screw that!
Civilian 2: We need better role models!
Civilian 3: Good heavens; what a [BLEEP] show!
Civilian 4: Language!
Civilian 3: This is Houston! That's how we express our strong feelings! Look at our hospital workers being overworked because of these fans!
Civilian 5: Rap music ain't the same these days!
Civilian 6: I can at least take care of my plants in peace.
Soldier 1: Whew; at least we didn't get called in to stop the mad crowd.
Soldier 2: It was close, though!
Soldier 3: Even though there's rabid fans jumping off of highways just for this festival? That was bad!
*China*
Liu: Wonderful.
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: *on communicator to Kenneth* Oh, does he? Excellent! I'll get working on that as soon as I can; I'm preoccupied with another problem. If you heard about the chaos in Houston, Texas the other night, you probably heard that the city's under martial law now. Plus, there's more of those Belarussian coaches running around, and five of them were killed at the festival.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Why did them city slickers even invent that there genre of music? Rap ain't music! Rap's just noise pollution!
Police 1: They're not going to be happy you said that, even if you said the truth. Personally, I can't stand rap either.
*The event staff then announces the festival has been cancelled forever, and that they wish they had just asked somebody like the 8-Bit Big Band to perform instead.*
*Washington D.C, USA*
Jack: Wow; that's really awful. I never imagined things to get that bad in Houston.
Zax: I have a bad feeling that Dallas is next for chaos. Juno and I live there.
Juno: I hope not. I think Austin is next, since they have a history of intensive political protests before.
Tom's silent thoughts: Please tell me they haven't jinxed us!
Marshall: The police of our state capitals have Israeli firearms in their armories, so they're way more prepared for almost anything that is thrown at them. Houston, however, was not, but after this situation, their police are considering purchasing Israeli firearms to better equip them for situations like this.
Mechayote: Now let's get working on the invitation to our VPN workers.
*The White House staff gets to work on typing their invitations to their VPN workers before e-mailing them.*
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The civilians let out a sigh of relief upon hearing that the festival in question has been cancelled forever.*
Civilian 1: Much better. Oh, hey! We can have a citywide furry convention here that promotes our state and local culture here! I know in China, their furry convention staff are in talks with their local governments to promote their local Chinese cultures in their conventions as a way to boost their tourism industries, so I figures we should do the same here.
Civilian 2: Oh, yeah! Most of the money earned through such furry conventions goes to the local funding of museums and other local nonprofit organizations, ranging from hospitals to nonprofit organizations that provide support to those with certain disabilities, from ALS to autism.
Civilian 3: We can do that here. I'm sure our modern art museums would love that, too!
Civilian 4: The Vietnamese ambassador to China is friends with a major furry here, who usually overlooks furry-related events and conventions. That ambassador is Chuong, that Moon Moon UN1024 soldier.
Civilian 3: I had no idea! But, yes; I think a furry festival or convention would be best for Houston; especially when it comes to promoting our state culture here!
Police Chief: I really do not like this, but since we've been getting more traffic, immigrants, and new residents from all over this entire country, we need to have Israeli firearms in our armory. The Tavor X95 is proven to be an excellent choice for assault rifles used by SWAT units. Houston is a sprawling city that is always growing, and because of this, we need better weapons when crime happens in Houston. Better weapons provide better protection to our police, whether we like it or not.
Police 2: Are we going to have the TS12 shotguns from Israel as well?
Police Chief: Yes! We're going to upgrade our handguns from the M&Ps to the MASADAs as well.
Police 3: Okay. I just hope there's less casualties after this event, and that I don't have to use Israeli firearms on anyone's life.
Police Chief: Remember that you signed that paperwork that if someone threatens you, it is your duty to protect yourself first even if it costs them their lives. We're police; we live to enforce laws and expect others to follow them. *He fills out the paperwork to purchase Israeli firearms for the police department as well as to get approval from the city government first. The city government and mayor unanimously approves the order for the requested firearms from Israel.*
*Tel Aviv, Israel*
*Employees of Israeli Weapons Industries (IWI) receive orders from Houston's police department for their firearms.*
IWI Employee 1: *In Hebrew* Hey guys! We got orders for our firearms!
IWI Employee 2: *In Hebrew* Our factories are producing them automatically. We're sending some specialists to Houston to train their police on how easy our firearms work and how they are perfect for their jobs.
IWI Employee 3: *In Hebrew* I wonder how Lior feels about Houston's police ordering our firearms after that music festival mayhem?
IWI Employee 4: *In Hebrew* As long the police aren't ordering machine guns from us, Lior won't care. He'll just say that's just another typical day in Israel. Major cities, local capitals, regional capitals, and national capitals always order our firearms to equip their police with anyways.
IWI Employee 5: *In Hebrew* Machine guns are best for border patrol work anyways.
*Dallas, TX, USA*
*VPN employees receive e-mails of their invitations to China. They print them as instructed so they can carry them to China for reimbursement of their trips.*
VPN Employee 1: Yo... We're going to freakin' China!
VPN Employee 2: Our families are invited, too! We're going to China for the Olympics!
VPN Employee 3: V.I.P. status, too! We're superstars in China! I went from average IT guy to superstar, and my company never intended to take down Jinping and have Liu as their President!
VPN Employee 4: Luxury hotels with security in Beijing complete with local media coverage of us? We're going to be celebrities in China!
VPN Employee 5: I'm taking my girlfriend with me to China! Got to pack up on my best outfits and look real good to the Chinese!
VPN Employee 6: Oh my goodness; we going to China! I have to look super good for this! I didn't think I'd live for this to happen! And this is on top of us earning our Presidential Medals of Freedom from Leo the Patriotic Lion that day!
VPN Employee 7: Oh, man; I had to go to a tailor shop to find a white tie suit that fits best for me! That was nerve-wrecking, but it was worth it! Had to do that for that ceremony! Looks like I'll be carrying my white tie suit again, just in case we get invited to an event that requires very formal wear!
VPN Employee 6: You got this! We are going to look real good! My boss paid for our spa treatment to help prepare us for that ceremony, so I'm sure we'll be getting that before we fly off to Beijing!
VPN Employee 8: You got any old clothes you want to throw out and donate, do it now and make room for some fresh outfits to wear in China! We have to look out best there!
Civilian 1: Y'all just got an invitation to China by their government?
Civilian 2: I know a lot of places in the mall here that have good outfits for you!
Civilian 3: Y'all be representing America, too, you know! I'm going to start a fundraiser to help you guys look your best! Y'all are going to be superstars when you go to China!
Civilian 4: Look for tailor shops for your fancy outfits!
Civilian 5: Have fun in China! Remember, the Chinese judge your appearances a lot, so please do what you can to make yourselves look good as possible, since what they see from you is what they assume about us! Change up your diet, exercise daily, spend more time on hygiene, and don't forget to book a spa appointment within a week before your flight so you can look your best!
Civilian 6: I'm joining the fundraising project, and let me suggest we hire fashion designers to help you and your family look real good!
Civilian 7: I thought it was Koreans that are super judgmental on appearances.
Civilian 5: The Chinese does that a lot as well, and if you don't look Chinese, they will judge your appearance more, so you have to look super good to them. Make them feel like they're looking at rich people with class. Doesn't have to be like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, but close to them as much as possible. Make them think that you and your family come from California or something, and that you're trendy and classy. That's the trick.
*Washington, D.C. USA*
Leo: There we go. *His communicator beeps again.* Oh. This just in: that festival is cancelled forever. Good riddance!
Tom: Next time, they should just hire the Drumbums.
*Leo also sends a message to the event staff of that event.*
Leo's message: The next time you want to hold some kind of festivity like that, hire the U.S. Lion Corps Band or someone like that instead; the world knows I have affiliations with those lions in addition to being President, so people will behave themselves.
*Israel*
*Lior learns about the Houston chaos.*
Lior: *in Hebrew* And that's why I say rap is unbiblical!
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Oh, thank heavens! This ain't never gonna happen again!
*GVS, AR, USA*
*The Nickelbacks learn about the Houston chaos.*
Nathan: Stupid festivals! Why do people have to be such beasts?
Jocko: Behavior unacceptable. It is miracle no CNG was involved; yet Belarus coaches were present.
Outlaw: They wanted to find more victims, no doubt. But if there was no CNG, what happened to it?
Sheriff Jackson: Good question.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Mayor Turner's Message: Our event staff got your message and we will consider that option. Houston is the most diverse city in America, and we like to have events featuring our diversity, but at the same time, we will consider safety as our main priority and make sure that nothing like that happens ever again.
Jack: Whew; about time Houston took the garbage out on that one!
Zax: That's more room for better events.
*Israel*
IWI Employee 1: *In Hebrew* That and rap music sounds much worse today. They make way less sense than before with more garbage.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Police 3: We can only hope since we can only do our best here.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
Civilian 1: I don't know where all them kids come from, but the fact that they used ladders to climb through the windows and over the fences disturbs me.
Civilian 2: Jumping over bridges and highways just for a music festival? What is wrong with people these days?
Civilian 3: Well it's done and over with. Let's look forward to something more exciting, like those VPN workers being invited to China. Take a look. *Passes newspapers about VPN workers being invited to China.*
Civilian 4: So it was them folks that took down the Chinese government and got Liu to take over without hurting anyone or being there in China? How is that even possible? Doesn't China have an advanced military?
Civilian 5: They do, but nothing like ours. But the fact that happened proved that there is hope. After all, in America, nothing is impossible.
*A small group of VPN employees from Phoenix are spending their vacation in GVS.*
VPN Employee 1: And welcome to Glenn Views Spring! My great grandpa was from here! Small, but significant town that still keep their memories alive.
Civilian 6: Y'all them folks that took down the Chinese government?
VPN Employee 2: Yeah. We're those guys. We even got the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Leo, which I didn't think was possible. Seeing him in person for that ceremony, it changed my life forever. I felt like I'm no longer an ordinary American.
VPN Employee 3: Yes; we're those guys. Explaining how we did it is difficult and complicated because we got invited by the new Chinese government to spend vacation in Beijing during their Olympics. That means a lot of Chinese are going to ask questions about us and how we contributed to Jinping's downfall without us knowing about this. This will not be easy to explain to them.
VPN Employee 4: And I do want to emphasize that we do not encourage kids to use our services to play their games late at night without anyone knowing. Yet, we cannot stop them, since that's beyond our abilities.
Civilian 6: Don't worry about explaining things. Welcome to Glenn View Springs, or GVS if you want to use the short form! *To the civilians.* Hey, everybody! These are the folks that took down the old Chinese government and got Liu in!
*The civilians cheer for the VPN employees as they wave back.*
VPN Employee 5: Just remember this; we never intended for this to happen. We only found out when it was too late.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: Events with better-behaved people.
*Houston, TX*
Cody: Yup.
*GVS, AR*
Nathan: You mean y'all's joke ain't no joke, and it smashed all them Chinese politicians?
Jocko: Tribe congratulate you on success. Clever idea. Successfully took down China. Make Liu the new President.
Outlaw: That was genius.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Jack: Exactly! Houston is just one of those places that tends to attract the unruly.
Mechayote: Nah. Try anywhere in Florida. To us Floridians, we tend to call that as another typical day. But these days, it's becoming way more civilized there.
Juno: *Switches on the news about American VPN employees celebrating their own invitations to China for the Olympics.* Wow; America is partying hard right now.
Jack: But in the end, Houston will be mourning for a while after that music festival went bad.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
VPN Employee 1: It really was!
VPN Employee 2: Stuff like that proves how powerful American innovation really is. The United States Space Force is proof of this.
VPN Employee 3: Yet we don't even have to use the military to prove how powerful America really is.
VPN Employee 4: The American people together is what makes us great.
VPN Employee 5: The US Navy even has a carrier docked in Hong Kong. That place is basically a glorified shopping complex complete with hotels, data centers, and busy street food vendors.
VPN Employee 6: And then there's Macao, which is quite close to Hong Kong. It's hard to get to Macao due to the CNG crisis in that particular city, but Macao is basically Las Vegas on steroids.
*San Diego, CA, USA*
*A furry Forsythian parade is held to celebrate China's invitation of the VPN employees.*
VPN Employee 1: All of this just for us?!
VPN Employee 2: No way! We're going to be superstars!
VPN Employee 3: All these furries just for us?
VPN Employee 4: I find it ironic that there are Krieglandonians doing a celebratory parade for us because they came from a planet where technology was basically limited in the civilian world. Then again, they let their wrong ideas depress them. Yet, here they are, celebrating us for unintentionally taking down Jinping and being invited to China by Liu. This is unreal, but I'll take it!
VPN Employee 5: And someone is doing fundraisers to hire fashion designers and other people to help us clean our homes out from old stuff to make room for the new. Even our wardrobes are going to be changed a lot.
VPN Employee 6: Just do what they say because they want us to look our best in China. They'll also be posting online videos of our transformation from looking like average Americans to being superstars.
VPN Employee 7: So we're getting makeovers as part of this too. Fair enough. We all could use a major makeover in our lives for the new year after all of this.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: I'm mostly grateful Cody didn't blow up.
Tom: He's probably furious deep down inside.
*GVS, AR, USA*
Nathan: Boy. I never would've guessed.
Outlaw: Neither would I. None of us plan to leave home anytime soon, but even if we did, we don't gamble.
Jocko: People keep proposing we add gambling hall to town. People vote no. Too big risk for CNG smugglers. Tribe instead run restaurant you see here, Moon Dweller BBQ.
Luke: One of the best places in town.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Jack: He is. The fact that Houston has ordered firearms from Israel for their police department shows that this event shouldn't have even happened in the first place. The performers are also seen as heads of their events. If something goes wrong, they must stop the performance right there and then. There are words that this did not happen at that festival. If Cripto saw something was wrong in his crowd or they're becoming unruly, he'd stop the performance on the second and ask them to stop or he'll get security involved.
Zax: Here comes a tidal wave of lawsuits on this.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
VPN Employee 2: Ooooh, yikes; didn't know you guys had to put up with that. According to federal law, Native Americans are usually the ones running gambling venues in many places, but also have the final say to allow them on their lands or not.
VPN Employee 3: Native American casinos, however, are slowly fading because of certain growing fields like IT and AI development. There's stories of their gambling facilities being replaced by data centers and clinics, but are still run by local Native American tribes. In the end, they feel happy about that since that means not having to deal with shady people daily.
VPN Employee 4: You guys seem better off without a gambling hall. Let's go to that barbecue place!
*The VPN employees enter Moon Dweller BBQ.*
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: Cripto's lucky he's never had audiences behave like that. Part of it is the fact people sadly still have an irrational fear of me; I blame CNG for that.
*GVS, AR, USA*
Jocko: Thank you. Enjoy barbecue!
*Jocko goes back to his home.*
Nathan: It's about that time, I reckon. I feel like a sub sandwich, actually.
Outlaw: We do have a new Jersey Mike's; let's go check that out.
*The cowboys go to the new Jersey Mike's sub shop.*
*Washington D.C., USA*
Marshall: Then do something about it, Leo. You, as our President, must make our people feel very comfortable under you. You have a duty to uphold our Constitution.
Zax: Furry Fury fans behave not because of you, Leo, but because they just know better. One of the rappers at that festival in Houston has a history of encouraging rowdy behavior. Cripto does not encourage rowdy behavior. When someone goes nuts, Cripto stops and asks them to knock it off. Cripto even asks people to line up and be civilized at the queue before entering his concerts, because the event security managers he works with want to make sure all of his fans are safe and that they can go home alive. When your fans die like that, you won't see them again. Cripto knows all of this inside and out.
Juno: With the rise of data, event managers want to make sure that the number of people attending should equal to the number of people leaving alive and unharmed. Buildings are equipped with integrated sensors that detect how many people are inside a building before it alerts the property manager and local fire department that maximum occupancy is nearing or has reached the limit. No doubt in Houston did those alerts go off the charts from several buildings with these crazy fans.
*Wildcat City, KS, USA*
*The police chief learns about the music festival disaster from Houston and has submitted paperwork for approval from the mayor to have Israeli firearms in the armory just in case they are needed. The city hall politicians look over the request first before sending it to Jabowitz.*
Politician 1: So our police chief wants Israeli firearms in the police armory just in case we hold an event that draws in large crowd to help prevent that disaster like the one from Houston.
Politician 2: IWI's guns are excellent for SWAT units in capital cities along with cities serving as county seats. Very comfortable and efficient but that's because Israeli guns were made for war than police work.
Politician 3: We are a major city with a very large population. Our population density is incredibly high, too. I think it is better that our mayor approves of this so our police have better means to protect themselves when needed. Better to have it when it is not needed, than to need it but not have it.
Politician 4: IWI is going to send a specialist to train our police on how to handle Israeli firearms for police work. Israeli weapons are very easy to use and have nifty features that make them ideal for police work too not just military. I say go ahead.
Politician 5: IWI has factories in America. Mayor Jabowitz, would you sign the paperwork to allow Wildcat City Police Department to have Israeli guns in their armory for their SWAT units?
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: No; I am going to do something about it. I'm also wanting to see how this plays out because lawsuits are being filed as we speak; the rappers called for security, but didn't stop the show.
*WC, KS, USA*
Jabowitz: They're just lucky CNG wasn't involved; otherwise, all 50,000 fans would have died.
*He signs the paperwork.*
*later*
*Leo makes another television appearance. As what always seems to be the case, literally every TV set in the world that is on at the moment is tuned in to him, since people act as if it is the unpardonable sin to not watch him.*
Leo: Hello, America. Sorry for interrupting your regularly scheduled programming, but I'd like to take a moment to take my turn in speaking about the tragedy that was Astroworld 2021. The entire Zanicchi administration was there to investigate it, and what we cannot wrap our heads around was why people would behave the way they behave and cause a crowd crush. At least eight have died, and hundreds more were injured. However, and this is important, CNG was not involved this time around. This was genuinely bad behavior, sometimes encouraged by specific performers; I won't say who. You know who you are, and by my beliefs, you owe the world an apology for it. But I will not force you do to so; I don't have that level of authority. I'm only the President, not the dictator of the world. You may call me the Galactic Emperor, but I don't actually have full authority of the full universe.
Let's be thankful CNG was not involved here, but let us also not forget that it was involved in the soccer riots that killed 7 million people in Argentina, and 1.5 million in Turkey. Those are the exact death tolls. For the former, that's almost 16% of their total population.
The more you people do things like this, the easier it is for CNG to carry out its agendas of eradicating humanity for being "too savage of a race," destroying modern technology that doesn't have to do with the military, music, or medicine, and ultimately making the entire globe the new Kriegland: a planet way behind the times because it was so worried about keeping up its morals and ethics, it just wouldn't embrace anything. That would mean, among other things, that the globe's favorite rock star and game show host (Cripto) would be out of work, among so many others. Don't forget (although CNG was also to blame for it), Cripto's own kind deserted him when he became a rock star given the groupthink issues Wildcat City was going through at the time, so he turned to the humans. He won't have any fans left from that category if stuff like this happens again.
I hope I've given you something to think about. Thanks for you time, and now, let's get back to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.
*The cameras go off the air. The national news media, who originally interrupted the programming to announce Leo was going to make these comments, briefly go back on the air to help smoothly transition back to regular programming.*
Camera Operator 1: Good job.
Leo: Thanks. I appreciate what you do; it's helping to restore my faith in the media after so many others involved in destroy that faith.
Zax: Good, good.
Jack: You know things are really bad when the FBI has to be involved.
Marshall: Now you got WHO and INTERPOL involved to help the world create new plans to prevent anything like this from happening again. Apparently lessons from Argentina's Superclásico wasn't enough.
Juno: Don't forget Turkey's Intercontinental Derby, which doesn't get mentioned often. Too bad when it does, it's already too late.
*Istanbul, Turkey*
*Uyghur immigrants are visiting the stadium as well as the graves of the fans of the Intercontinental Derby. The locals explain the story to the Uyghurs.*
Uyghur Immigrant 1: *In Turkish* So that's what happened. Then I'll just stick with living in mainland Turkey.
Uyghur Immigrant 2: *In Turkish* Sounds like a lot happened here.
Civilian 1: *In Turkish* Dead bodies and burned buildings galore. Istanbul used to look like a war zone.
Civilian 2: *In Turkish* And you wonder why Greek people despise us. We're trying to change our reputation here because we want to prove to them that we are civilized people and that us welcoming you is proof of this.
Civilian 3: *In Turkish* Uyghur people are kind and you're our kind of people through your ancestry.
Uyghur Immigrant 3: *In Turkish* I hope the Greeks understand us. Turkish people are complex at first, but we have a culture. We are very hospitable people as Turks. We strive hard to be that.
Uyghur Immigrant 4: *In Turkish* We came here because our origins are from here. You welcomed us as your own people. Belonging is what we've desired.
Uyghur Immigrant 5: *In Turkish* One day, Istanbul shall thrive again.
Civilian 4: *In Turkish* But I doubt Istanbul will be hosting sporting events again. Even the Greeks convinced the IOC to never allow Istanbul to host the Olympics after what happened from the Intercontinental Derby. Never! Never again!
*Beijing, China*
*The city's police are dressed in riot gear to practice and prepare for any rioting or uncontrollable crowd surges for the Olympics due to the Astroworld disaster. Local volunteers take the role of goons as they use various props to help the police prepare themselves.*
Volunteer 1: *In Chinese as he carries a ladder.* Charge!
Volunteer 2: *In Chinese as he rushes with the other crowds to run towards the police.* Go, go, go!
*The volunteers charge towards the police as the police use their riot shields to protect themselves and man catchers (or catchpole, also known as sasumata in Japan) to "restrain" the volunteers.*
Rainier: Wow; I didn't know China has sasumata or catchpoles.
Chuong: They do. A lot of east Asian countries, including Vietnam, have them. Western countries typically do not use catchpoles, but after what happened in Houston, that option is now on the table for western riot police units.
Rainier: Argentina should've had those during the Superclásico.
Chuong: Yes, but in their culture, it was normal to them. Too bad they paid the price when CNG got involved.
*Xinhua camera crews record the riot police practicing with their catchpoles on the volunteers. Some of the reporters interact with the police and volunteers, and Liu is present as usual.*
Volunteer 3: *In Chinese to the reporters.* I'm surprised that a lot of countries do not have catchpoles for police. It's a great tool and it lessens the possibility of people being injured from the crowds.
Police 1: *To Liu in Chinese.* As you can see, we are using our riot shields and catchpoles. There was a reason why warriors used long range melee weapons and shields st the same time. I think if the Americans used catchpoles, Houston wouldn't had that many people injured.
Police 2: *In Chinese as he demonstrates his use of the riot shield and catchpole.* This allows for easy restraining with less risk to injury and exposure. Very useful against unruly ccriminal.
*Another volunteer "charges" at a police officer with a rubber knife before the police uses the catchpole to keep the volunteer back.*
Volunteer 4: *In Chinese after dropping the rubber knife.* Very good!
Police 3: *In Chinese* Let's hope we don't have to face that situation here.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The police chief orders catchpoles to be made and sent to the police department as catchpole factories pop up all over America.*
Police 1: We should've done this a long time ago!
Police 2: What a brilliant idea! Helps to lessen injuries between us and the unruly!
*Wildcat City, KS, USA*
*The police chief submits an order for catchpoles as the politicians look over them.*
Politician 1: We never had a problem where catchpoles had to be used here though.
Politician 2: Is this necessary?
Politician 3: Our citizens here follow the laws to the T, so they have nothing to worry about. As long they follow the laws, they will never have to see these things being used on them.
Politician 4: These are nonlethal devices, but are still weapons. Excellent for riot police, but when was the last time we had a situation that required a catchpole?
Politician 5: No idea. Better to prepare our police for the worst when it never comes, rather than to need a catchpole, but not have one.
*City hall politicians approve the catchpole orders before sending them to Jabowitz for final approval.*
*Lyon, France*
*INTERPOL agents practice with catchpoles as well as to evaluate them and their effectiveness.*
INTERPOL Agent 1: *In French* Interesting... Hey, Leonce! What do you think of this?
INTERPOL Agent 2: *In French* It does help reduce risk and injury. These tools require more research to determine their effectiveness and rooms for improvements.
INTERPOL Agent 3: *In French* I suppose these catchpoles are handy. I think they're safer than tasers and stun guns. Use them in conjunction properly, they will be effective in restraining dangerous criminals.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: All the more reasons soccer wasn't my favorite sport. But for some countries, that's all they got.
Tom: I could never remember that it's called the Intercontinental Derby.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I share that wish; I do not want people behaving like that during the next Olympics. But it is best to be prepared and that's what you're doing. I also prefer criminals live to see the consequences of their actions, so using the pole does a lot less damage and detains the criminal.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Super C is present because he's visiting with Cody, although the Cat of Steel is not wearing his battle uniform, but instead a sports jersey with headband.*
Super C: *to the police* I also wish everybody had these. Then maybe people wouldn't die in all those police shootings that the news freaks out over.
Cody: How does it work?
Police 1: Like this. Don't worry; I won't hurt you.
*The cop demonstrates a catchpole, but does it in slow motion so that he doesn't hurt Cody. Super C snaps photographs with his smartphone.*
Cody: Yup; this is a much better solution. Beats usin' them clubs or guns of yours when it ain't necessary.
Police 1: Exactly.
*WC, KS, USA*
Jabowitz: It's too bad we didn't have these a long time ago.
*He reads over the orders and then gives it final approval.*
*Lyon, France*
Leonce: *in French* All I ask is that these are not used in the wrong manner. But I do agree that this is way less violent than those other methods.
*Argentina*
*Leocadio and some civilians visit the graves of those killed in the Superclaisco tragedy because there are tourists present, and the tour includes this because of the area it is in.*
Leocadio: *in English, with people translating to Spanish* What I had to apologize for was the way I overreacted, because I wanted all soccer to end forever after that tragedy. But that derby will continue until the sands of time reach the final grain.
Tourist 1: So where does the hatred come from?
Leocadio: It's the nature of the rivalry. Those two teams are traditionally the top two teams in the country, and they commandeer about 70% of the nation's fans. I can't tell you what percentage of those people died in the tragedy.
Tourist 2: Do you think there's more to the story we're not being told? I can't imagine 7 million people dying over a thing like that, but then again, CNG was involved.
Leocadio: The CNG explosions happened in multiple places in Argentina, not just at the game. But they all had the same thing in common: trying to use CNG to rig the game in favor of one team. We ended up just cancelling the game, by the way; we didn't play it in Spain like we did in 2018.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* Yes. In the west, the police have stun guns and tasers. The Americans claim them to be nonlethal weapons, yet those weapons are designed to shock the targets individually with electricity. That can damage their heart. Others say that such weapons cause torture as well. So having the catchpole as an option before using an electroshock weapon is a good choice.
Do note that in America, civilians can carry tasers for personal defense though in typical American fashion, they prefer guns. I'm also surprised that you decided to liberalize gun ownership rights and laws here since you did say you want China to be more like the United States. But at least that does help to bring knife crimes down to basically nonexistent levels here.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* Pickpocketing crimes would be nonexistent here, too. In America, in many states due to relaxed gun laws, pickpocketing and theft are nonexistent because civilians are armed and alert. I'm still amazed how during China's bloodless revolution and coup, not a single person was hurt and there were no cases of vandalism. After Liu was appointed, they cleaned the streets and moved on.
Shi: *In Chinese* We are taught that our actions always affects others so whatever we do, we think about the others. When we act, we act socially. Even if we look like individuals, we act socially. But that's China for you.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Police 2: Yes, but the catchpole is best in certain situations, usually a large gathering that requires us to show up in riot gear as a precaution.
Police 3: But for routine police work, we still carry our tasers and stun guns. The catchpole is a large device, so they're not easily portable as the other devices we carry.
*WC, KS, USA*
Politician 3: Now we do, thanks to you.
*Wichita, KS, USA*
*Two policemen in riot gear pose in front of the state capitol building with their catchpoles for the media to take pictures of. The civilians, of course, shrug and don't seem to mind.*
Civilian 1: Meh. The state capitol police need the best tools anyways.
Civilian 2: We saw them pose with Tavor X95 assault rifles from Israel, so it is what it is.
*Japan*
*Across the nation, catchpole manufacturers are researching to improve catchpoles to make them more advanced yet still remain nonlethal. Many companies are developing catchpoles with quick retractable claws.*
Civilian 1: *In Japanese as he tests a retractable catchpole against a dummy.* Looks good!
Civilian 2: *In Japanese* About time the world catches up on why police forces need these!
Civilian 3: *In Japanese* The sasumata (catchpole) was the weapon of the samurai. Ryo knows about this. But the katana will always be the main weapon of the samurai.
Civilian 4: *In Japanese* Back in the Meiji Period, the samurai were trained to be police back then so they carried the sasumata along with their katanas.
Civilian 5: *In Japanese* Now sasumatas are going to be popular in the world in seconds all because 50,000 idiots barged into a concert in Houston in America. But better be that than another crowd crush.
*United Kingdom*
*The police examines their catchpoles.*
Police 1: This is a medieval weapon redesigned for the modern world!
Police 2: Trust us on this. They will come in handy. Useful when football games go out of hand.
Police 3: We're going to patrol in riot gear with this?
Police 4: Yes! This is your job! When there's a football derby going on, the catchpole will come in handy even if you don't need it.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Zax: We got soccer, too; they're just not as popular here.
*The police outside pose for the cameras with their catchpoles as they explain to the media how they work.*
Konrad: They say those things are less lethal than tasers and stun guns.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* It is indeed.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Gotcha.
*Japan*
Ryo: *in Japanese* Or violent behavior at football (soccer) matches. That may be the one thing I hate more than a crowd crush.
*UK*
Lionus: Interesting. This way, people can still live to see the consequences of their actions.
Police 3: I know you don't like speaking of your past, but when was the last time you ransacked any properties because of football hooliganism? Tristan, I mean.
Tristan the Pegasus: Of which I have apologised since then, since I have shown remorse for all my actions, and I'm trying to atone for it after eliminating that behaviour.
But the last time I destroyed people's property because of football violence is what you asked. I suppose that would have been shortly after I arrived here with my master (Lionus) because it was the first time I had to be detained for it in the modern world.
Police 2: And the team?
Tristan the Pegasus: Millwall F.C.
Police 1: Oh.
Tristan the Pegasus: Need I say more?
Police 1: No. Everybody knows about those riots.
*Japan*
Civilian 1: *In Japanese* That's just uncivilized. Too bad Argentina paid the ultimate price for that one.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* Some of my friends in Houston are bringing back the satanic panic, claiming Astroworld 2021 was a demonic ritual sacrifice. Such conspiracy theories are absurd but as they say in America, let them make these ridiculous claims. I'm sure even Levon the Christian Lion would find their claims and conspiracy theories absurd.
Levon the Christian Lion: (narrating in English) Yes, I would. It's so easy to blame it on Satan when it was their conscience choice to behave like that. No doubt Satan was loving it. People often ask me, "Why does God allow these things to happen if He is a just God and a good God?" The answer to that question is simple: sin nature. When people don't believe God's truth and turn their back on Him, He lifts His hand of protection off and lets them fall to the wayside of lies and chaos.
Claiming this was an example of modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah was also the wrong answer, because God flat-out destroyed those cities. He didn't just rain fire and brimstone down on Houston.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The Native American members of the Royal Pagans are present.*
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: *Notices fliers claiming Astroworld 2021 was a demonic ritual sacrifice along with fliers telling outsiders to not come to Houston, because the city is either bathed in sin or it has become a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.* I thought the satanic panic died in the last days of the last century.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: You would think so...
Shadow Lord Coy: Nightwolf, you're from Nebraska. You know a lot of this satanic panic stuff still lives on in many parts of the Midwest and South. Texas is, of course, not safe from this. The satanic panic has always been around; it wasn't well known until the Astroworld disaster happened.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: If people want to see a city full of sin, Las Vegas is a start, but these days, Macao is the better example.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I know in Las Vegas, they have legalized recreational marijuana, but have laws stating where they can be used; basically in the privacy of a hotel room or a home. What is Macao's stance on marijuana?
Shadow Lord Roxbury: Illegal, because Macao is under Chinese jurisdiction. It is likely that China may allow medicinal marijuana, but there are smokeless forms of it, so safest to say, only the smokeless forms of medicinal marijuana would be allowed. Liu may have liberalized China a lot, but has preserved the country's legal stance on illicit drugs, meaning basically a zero-tolerance policy on them, meaning jail or execution.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: Common-sense dictates that recreational marijuana should be avoided, and of course, that will never fly in China. Anyways, Sodom and Gomorrah? People here tend to take that out of context, it seems.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: Sodom and Gomorrah is abused in false equivalency arguments. People tend to forget that the past was full of horrible events that we tend to forget about. We teach history for a reason. Many of us would know that Astroworld is far from a demonic ritual sacrifice. We all know it was genuinely bad behavior. 50,000 idiots and one bad rapper who didn't stop the show. The rapper in question had partnerships with McDonald's and other companies aimed at kids. Who thought it would be a good idea to let minors in to a concert like this? Never mind the fact that the rapper in question made a homophobic slur starting with a letter F as well.
Shadow Lord Coy: Unacceptable! There goes McDonald's sales, as well as the sales of the companies he had partnerships with. *Watches a McDonald's get demolished by a construction crew before it gets replaced with a Whataburger. It doesn't happen in an instant, though; it takes time for the new Whataburger to open.* Karma.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I think all music concerts of all genres, even classical music, should only allow adults, because you don't want little kids being crushed in a crowd full of fully grown adults. Yes; that would apply the same to Furry Fury's concerts as well, just as extra safety measure. Cripto and his band would understand, since they have a lot of minor fans, and they genuinely care for their lives and want them to do well in school first, so they can have good jobs later to afford their tickets.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: It would be a wise idea.
Civilian 1: Oh, look! Leo's Secretary of The Interior, Coy, is here!
Civilian 2: Oh, it's that Californian coyote!
Shadow Lord Coy: Yes. I'm here to assess the damage, and I notice that there's a lot of fliers claiming that this event was a satanic ritual or something. We cannot stop people from making those claims since the First Amendment protects freedom of speech, but at the same time, they're not safe from those criticizing their claims, which is also protected under the First Amendment.
Civilian 2: Exactly! We all know it was genuinely bad behavior from 50,000 people and that one rapper. He was supposed to stop the performance when these kids starting breaching the gates! He didn't!
Civilian 3: There goes his sponsors, and boy has McDonald's taken a hit! Their stocks are falling fast! No wonder why more people here prefer Whataburger over McDonald's. Then again, I prefer Chick-fil-A over everything, but that's just me.
Civilian 4: Whataburger is where your customers are typically local blue-collar workers in their pickup trucks. Just some average local in Carhartt outfits in either a Ford F150 or RAM 1500. Sure Whataburger has their moments, but at least they don't have to worry about McDonald's customers, which are typically a bunch of unruly kids with no taste.
Shadow Lord Coy: I tried Whataburger and I enjoy it. I will admit that some of their burgers are better than the ones from In-N-Out, which is a popular chain in California.
*Another McDonald's gets demolished, but it is replaced with a Maximum Mighty Melt. However, McDonald's does not disappear entirely from the city of Houston.*
Civilian 5: Wow; McDonald's is disappearing fast here because they chose a bad rapper to be their sponsor. Crappy quality, crappy sponsors.
Civilian 6: And watch Fortnite tank, because that company also sponsored him.
Shadow Lord Coy: Everything has consequences.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I see the police here are utilizing sasumatas, or catchpoles, the later being the more common and popular term. I think they're way better than electroshock weapons. Electroshock weapons are almost useless in unruly crowds sadly as they are meant to target individuals. The sasumatas target individuals too, but they're less lethal than electroshock weapons. I wished we had these a long time ago since it makes it easier for criminals to live to see the consequences of their actions.
*Japan*
Ryo: *in Japanese* I don't ever want to see you people behave like that, but that's never been a problem.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I'm sure Satan was using that in order to put his army of demons to work, but why does he bother? He knows God has already defeated him.
*Houston, TX*
*Cody and his posse also watch the demolitions of McDonald's, although not all the stores in town close down. This is because the C.I.D.F. had hired them to help with surveying the damage.*
Cody: I was 'bout to say, "I ain't never gonna eat at McDonald's no more," but that's too extreme in them overreactions.
Bryce: Lucky for you Hicksburg doesn't have one.
Cody: Once upon a time, it did. It ain't gonna have one now!
*One newspaper shows that the one and only McDonald's that was in Hicksburg is also being demolished. The store replacing it is a 2-in-1 that combines Long John Silver's with A&W.
Cody: At least we got A&W goin' in. LJS I'm not sure about.
Police 1: Do you like Long John Silver's?
Cody: I think it's a case of it doesn't like me instead of me not liking it. It's a lot greasier than I wish it would be sometimes.
Police 2: It's probably the batter. I have troubles with that stuff myself.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* But people died.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* But people across America are cancelling that rapper's future concerts. You need to look at the bigger picture. It's about lessons.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Shadow Lord Coy: Meh; I dislike Long John Silver's. I know many places that have far better seafood. Heck! I'll take a Whataburger over that, and I'm from California! Whataburger has more spice than In-N-Out. Then again, that's food in Texas, so it is expected. Between In-N-Out and Whataburger, I think I prefer the latter. More item variety.
Civilian 1: For once, you got it right! People who move here from California know why we're the better state. No disrespect to them, of course.
*Austin, TX, USA*
*In response to the Astroworld incident, the state government decided to pass a law where only those over the age of 18 can attend concerts. Minors are banned from attending.*
Politician 1: I hope Cripto understands. This is the only way to prevent such a tragedy against minors from happening again.
Politician 2: Let's hope the rest of America follows suit.
Politician 3: I'm sure Cripto understands.
*Washington, D.C.*
Jack: Hey Cripto! Texas just passed a law stating only adults are allowed in concerts. That means if you perform in Texas, your minor fans there have to stay home so they can live. It's for the children's safety.
Jill: It's a sensible law that I hope the world catches up on, not just America.
Cripto: (narrating) What was I doing in Washington, you ask? Just visiting and catching up with my friends; that's all. Still, that was a law that I was okay with; I don't want minors using me and my rock band's music as an excuse for not doing homework.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* Exactly.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: I give y'all an amen to that!
*Washington, D.C.*
Cripto: That doesn't bother me. The huge majority of my shows as a rock star don't have minors to start with; I think only twice have I ever had fans under the age of 18 at Furry Fury shows. But that was down in Australia.
Leo: What stadium were you in?
Cripto: I don't remember the name of it, but it's one of those stadiums where you'd go to see Aussie rules football. Who was the home team that time? *He thinks.* Oh. Brisbane. The Brisbane Lions.
Leo: The team Len naturally roots for if he's watching the game.
Cripto: *to Jack* Anyway, the point is most of the time minors don't go to my shows. They're content just listening to the music.
Jack: That's good, because mosh pit deaths and injuries are common, but you already know that. No concert is worth dying for, and performers know this.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Shadow Lord Coy: I will admit, though, that California does have some of the most beautiful and popular beaches in America. G-52s like the Outrageous Otter are from there. And because California has such a beautiful environment, and everybody wants to live there, that's why cost of living is so high there. Elon Musk used to work there with his company before he moved all of his operations to Texas. He lives in Austin. As far as I know, Musk is the richest human being so far, so you should be very blessed that he lives in this state. I've seen his works and he's transforming this state very well. Great state for relatively affordable living and jobs.
*More McDonald's stores are being demolished in Houston as they are replaced with advanced factories for medical equipment, shoes, work apparel, police equipment, military equipment, and materials processing.*
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: Yikes! That's got to hurt McDonald's profits a lot. It amazes me how despite how popular Furry Fury is, as far as I know, they rejected sponsorship deals for their performances since they want to show that music is solely their passion and for fun. It's a good move on their part so Cripto isn't so overloaded.
Cripto: (narrating) This is fact. I had so much to learn about the music industry when I first started being a rock star, because I originally had the same wish as Bodi, the main character from the Rock Dog films. ("I just want to play music!" he said. "I just want to share my music with the world.")
*All across the world, as more people learned about one of the Astroworld performers having a sponsorship with McDonald's, several McDonald's employees around the world are quitting for better jobs for better companies as well as local businesses.*
*Sydney, Australia*
*Several McDonald's get demolished and are replaced with new businesses.*
Civilian 1: Hey, guys! Did you hear about a new American shoe company called ROVUX?
Civilian 2: Those guys really live in the future! The Americans really know how to make science fiction real, since they created their Space Force.
Civilian 3: The Americans weren't kidding when they said they live in the future. And Leo is supporting them on this.
Civilian 4: Futuristic style shoes are a far more acceptable American import than garbage rap music. I'm glad to see them build a factory here.
Civilian 5: Tenacious Americans... No wonder why they brought down China and let Liu take over without being in China. *To Len* I don't know what your American counterpart is doing but whatever he is doing, we Australians need to learn from him. It's like every time we catch up, America has a new trick under their sleeves to wow the world with!
*Celebrities from Australia such as Larry Emdur, currently hosting The Chase Australia (replacing Deal or No Deal host Andrew O'Keefe) but best known for doing their version of The Price is Right, send Leo their congratulations on his success as President. The current Prime Minister of Australia does likewise.*
*Washington, D.C.*
Cripto: Our band isn't the band you'd do a mosh pit with anyways. It might also be worth knowing that we don't want to be overloaded, so we don't use any sponsorship deals. You're not seeing my face all over M3 unless it's because, as a superhero, I join the rest of the organization in allowing our likenesses to be used for toys in the kids meals. That has happened in the past. Why M3? They offered us the best deal.
Leo: Indeed. And Wildcat City recently gained back about eight McDonald's stores after the hiatus when Casino Drunk Man got them all shut down. This is different, though. I do not want to see McDonald's disappear entirely, however, because at one point they were the largest fast food corporation in the world, and I don't like seeing people out of work. Are they still the largest?
Cripto: I think so. *He looks it up.* Yes. Prior to all these stores being demolished, there were 38,695 stores total. I don't think they have anything to worry about.
*Drumbums who are in D.C. for a practice launch into the "Battle Hymn of the Republic."*
Leo: I never get tired of hearing that.
*Australia*
Len: All the more reason I am proud to be his Australian counterpart. And with these stores disappearing, it might start a new trend of people eating healthier as a whole. On the other hand, I hate seeing businesses go out of business. There's a plus and a minus to everything.
*all over the world*
*Sales of rap and hip-hop music as a whole are declining, and military march music is becoming more beloved than ever, especially if the Forsythians are the ones performing it. The C.I.D.F. works to see if CNG is behind this or not.*
Leo: (narrating) Houston has never been the same since that day, and I made sure to send my sympathy to the people of that city. In due time, a replacement festival would soon pop up because all the people who had bought tickets to Astroworld were given the option of either A) attending that one, or B) getting a refund. Those who chose option A actually had to sign lengthy release forms stating they would behave themselves, or suffer extreme consequences otherwise.
Cripto: (narrating) And the headliner for that festival was...you guessed it...us. Furry Fury.
Super C: (narrating) Meanwhile, another mystery has yet to be solved. If five of the people who died were those Belarusian coaches looking for athletes, why was there no CNG? We still don't know that, do we? CNG, having a conscience of its own, was probably angry it wasn't there to kill all 50,000 of those people involved in that festival. It would have also killed all the performers involved, believe me. But it's puzzling. You rarely see tragic events like that happen these days without CNG involved.
My guess is that somebody else stole the CNG from those coaches and used it for something else, only to have CNG kill them off. Just a guess. We may never know the real truth. Some things are better off if the only one who knows what happened is God.
Anyway, everybody hang in there. We'll not stop fighting this; we're all in this together.
THE END
-----------------------------------------
The Case of the Crowd Crush
Crush: (narrating) Hi; this is Crush. That's short for Bonecrusher. This is a long one, so stay with us, folks.
I'm named that because of my super strength, and yet even I have days where I worry I'm going to get crushed. It's bad enough my role as a FIFA referee means I deal with uncooperative players and managers, which is why events like the Superclasico (Argentina's biggest soccer game) and the Intercontiental Derby (Turkey's biggest soccer game). Both those events, because of CNG smugglings leading to the worst CNG explosions ever, killed 7 million people in Argentina, and 1.5 million people in Turkey.
Why am I saying this? These days, everybody is so used to CNG being the cause of reason, that it is extremely rare for CNG to not be involved in tragedies. Yet they do still happen. Take, for example, the Astroworld tragedy. Rapper Travis Scott organized the event in 2018, and he took the name from his third album. The miracle, if you can call it that, is that there was no CNG involved whatsoever, but people still died, and the G-52s and the C.I.D.F. were called in to assist everybody in restoring order to the chaotic scene. Scott didn't stop performing, however, and so it didn't surprise me that because of who our President is right now (Leo the Patriotic Lion), the result of this tragedy resulted in an abrupt sudden decline in sales and interest of rap and hip-hop. Why was that even invented? The only good rap songs are those rare few songs that speak about Knuckles the Echidna!
And yet, in spite of incidents like this, life rolls on. Leo Zanicchi is still the nation's greatest of Presdents we've ever had. The more these things happen, though, the easier it is for CNG to carry out its agenda of eradicating humanity for being too savage of a race.
It was a while back, but to get us all caught up on what's been happening, we start there, showing you how the G-52s and the allies got involved. We first learned of it in the middle of our other big arrangement, and that arrangement was the fact all those VPN employees who helped take down Xi Jinping, and ensure Liu the Confucian Lion now leads China, will be honored guests at the 2022 Winter Olympic Games in Beijing. Due to the CNG crisis, however, it will do what the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympic Games did: absolutely no members of the public allowed. Only special guests and authorized personnel can sit in the audience.
That said, on with the crushing.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Crowds after crowds of rabid fans breach the security gates and fences for a music festival there. Due to the sudden crowd surge, the city's resources are being strained beyond their limits, forcing the city's police to not only dress up in riot gear, but also use Roman style tactics with their riot shields to not only protect themselves, but also try to stop rabid fans from breaching the gates and fences.*
Police 1: Oh, sweet roses; there's too many of them!
Police 2: Heaven, have mercy! We're not going to be able to hold all of them back! Everybody! Testudo formation!
*The riot police use their riot shields to form their testudo formations as the rabid fans leap up on their shields to try to get to the music concert.*
Police 3: There's way more than 50,000 of these folks!
Police 4: It's got to be way more than the people who attend Furry Fury's concerts! Or is it?
Police 3: Either way, we're overpowered!
*The incoming passenger trains are jam-packed with rabid fans to the point that when they arrive, the fans spill out of the trains, rushing through the station and towards the concert. The whole scene in Houston looks like the fleeing crowds scenes from Godzilla, as fans even break the windows to leap out of them as others run through traffic to get to the concert.*
Rabid Fan 1: *Breaks a window open with a stone and deploys a collapsible ladder.* Go, go, go!
Rabid Fan 2: *Jumps off a bridge and runs through incoming traffic.* Whoo-hoooo!
Rabid Fan 3: *Deploys a ladder against a fence and breaches it to the concert.* Let's go, everybody!
*In the middle of the crowd rush, at least eight of the rabid fans get trampled to death. EMTs are working overtime as they become exhausted from the crowd surge and work overload.*
Civilian 1: Hey; I just want to go to work! *Uses the phone system in his car to let his boss know about the situation and that he's coming in late. The boss, of course, understands this.*
Civilian 2: HOLY [BLEEP] [BLEEP]! GET SOME SELF-CONTROL!
Civilian 3: Oh, no; there's people spilling off the bridges and windows to this concert! This is like something from Godzilla!
Civilian 4: I want to go home!
Civilian 5: Great! There's even heavy traffic coming through the suburbs! Where are these people coming from?! Who are these people?
Civilian 6: *Uses his car's interface to access the G-52 app.* Super C! Get your team here in Houston immediately! Please help us! There's a tidal wave of crazy fans here with no self-control!
*Crowds of rabid fans are also seen spilling over the fences as well. The chaos has gotten so bad, event staff are trying to shut down the event immediately.*
*WC, KS, USA*
Super C: *via app* Okay; stay calm! We're coming!
*Cripto provides portals so we can jump through. Bendraqi stays behind so he can continue to talk to the VPN staff.*
*Houston, TX, USA*
*We arrive.*
D.W.: YIKES!
Cripto: WHOA! My rock band's fanbase is this huge, but they don't behave like this!
Super C: Red alert! Shields up!
*Cripto provides protection for the riot police while Macho Mouse and the Flaming Cheetah get the civilians to safety.*
Tom the Patriotic Tiger: Who's performing?
Leo the Patriotic Lion: It's a festival, so there should be multiple performers.
Super Leo: Let's get you somewhere so you don't lose your temper.
*Super Leo helps Leo to safety so that he and the Secret Service avoid the crowds. They eventually run into the performers (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) and the event staff.*
Event Staff 1: Mr. President!
Leo: Hi; sorry for dropping in unannounced. But I'm in here so I don't have to snap out there; your fanbase is out of control.
Bendraqi: (narrating) Hi; sorry to interrupt, but prior to this incident, everybody had met in Wildcat City to make the announcement about the VPN employees being V.I.P. guests in China. This was also so they could introduce them to me. I think what they did was clever. We haven't really told the whole story here, but we're sort of skipping around; sorry about that. But this is why you see the comments Huizhong made down below. (Wildcat City also was introducing its people to techwear, but that's also a different story. Still, it was neat.)
As for Astroworld, even I was disturbed by what was going on. The robots the old me used would have been crushing all those people to pieces. Instead, I think there were at least 27 deaths, but the G-52s did get as many people to safety as they could.
*WC, KS, USA*
*Hosmunt/Huizhong stays with the VPN employees and Bendraqi.*
VPN Employee 3: So which name do you go by more?
Hosmunt/Huizhong: Huizhong, because of past Chinese administrations requiring all citizens to have a Chinese name, including ethnic groups that have their ethnic names. Even though Liu has changed that policy, most Chinese citizens with ethnic names choose to have secondary Chinese names, mainly because it is easier to interact with the ethnic Han majority in China.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Performer 1: I didn't tell them to act like this!
Performer 2: We didn't expect any of this.
Event Staff 2: Cody better not show up! This city looks like it's being raided by Vikings!
*Rabid fans are also seen running through the public garages to the festival as well.*
Civilian 5: They're coming in from everywhere!
Civilian 6: The streets are crowded like canned sardines!
*Several downtown businesses are having to close their skybridge doors from public access to protect their clients and employees. The crowd either breaches through the doors or break more windows to reach the festival anyways.*
Civilian 7: *Uses his phone to record the chaos of crowds of rabid fans spilling out the windows of several buildings. Eventually, several stores have to close their doors so the crowds don't come in and turn them into fire hazards.* Oh, goodness, no!
*As a result from the surging crowds coming to Houston, hundreds of rabid fans get injured from the stampede as ambulances are struggling to rescue them all. Eventually, helicopters are being called in to airlift the injured fans to the hospitals overworking the hospital staff.*
Jack: This has never happened here in Houston before.
Juno: At least it's not Buenos Aires years ago with the Superclásico where it is this times 100,000, complete with violence!
Zax: Oh, no; this city is drowning in rabid fans!
Event Staff 3: Hey; none of us expected any of this in Houston! We only can prepare for so much!
Leo: Do us a favor and cancel the event, please!
*Some of the fans almost trample Cripto.*
Cripto: OW! Will you stop that?!
Super C: Don't crush my number one!
Tom: I pray Cody doesn't do something stupid, like showing up!
Mechayote: Zax! Deploy the smoke and flash grenades! I've seen enough!
Zax: Yes, sir! *Tosses flash and smoke grenades to help disperse the crowds. The police uses flash and smoke grenades, too. Event staff finally manage to cancel the event as the fans eventually leave.*
Mechayote: *Flies over to Cripto to pull him away from the crowds and have him with Leo.* You all right?
Police 1: It's finally over!
Police 2: That was bad!
Police 3: I pray this never happens again.
Cripto: I'm okay; thanks for getting me out of there. The biggest crowd I ever sang for was at least 6 times that amount if I did the math correctly, but all those people behaved themselves. Plus, it was stadium seating, and they were restricted to their seats. This isn't like that.
Leo: What stadium was that?
Cripto: Wembley Stadium.
Leo: The United Kingdom.
Cripto: Yes. The biggest chunk of Furry Fury fans not living in the U.S. come from all the Commonwealth nations.
Leo: *to the police* I also pray hard this never happens again. The next time you want to do a festival like this, do it in a stadium where people are forced to sit in certain seats. Don't do this out in the open.
Super Tom: I hate to ask this, Your Majesty, but how would Kriegland have handled this?
C.K./King Leo: These scenes never would have happened on Kriegland. Those people died by accident. I've read stories of how Walmart's employees dying on Black Friday the same way: getting trampled by eager beavers. To answer your question, this wouldn't have warranted the death penalty. This would have just warranted life in prison. But then again, as I said, we saw anything 1950s onward when it comes to music as unbiblical. But was it really?
Dark Wolf: It really all depends on the lyrics, I'd say. Like the Cole Porter song says, "Anything goes."
Super C: Exactly. The lyrics make it or break it for me, even if there's no profanity involved. It's why I can't stand any song by the Doors, for example.
Cripto: I never was fond of Jim Morrison either.
Leo: All throughout history, however, there's been music that has gone against the Bible. You just have to know where to look so you can avoid it.
Mechayote: I see.
Police 1: We don't manage these events. The event and stadium staff do. We only provide protection to their events and other places throughout this city.
Police 2: Houston has a long history of holding outdoor festivals and events asides from this one and none of them had any problems like this.
Jack: Houston tends to be lax on some things but rarely do things get that bad.
Zax: Walmart and Black Friday never mix. This is why people take their shopping online these days.
Jack: Walmart is always going to exist.
Zax: Yet more people prefer the Amazon Basics brand over the Great Value brand.
Jack: Doesn't matter; they're always going to exist. Walmart and RVs go hand-in-hand like peanut butter and jelly.
Juno: No matter how much you try to convince the world the wonders of drone delivery and delivery robots, there's always going to be those who prefer shopping the traditional way; especially the ones who like Walmart at least. Then you got the others like Costco and Sam's Club.
Zax: Online shopping is a wonder, especially when it comes to clothes. You get clothes at your measurements delivered to you fresh from the factory these days.
Jack: People will always buy clothes in person, though. Uniforms 'R' Us in Wildcat City, for example?
*The event staff are cleaning up the mess and packing up.*
Event Staff 1: That was bad...
Event Staff 2: Mistakes were made.
Event Staff 3: Great; the streets are littered with fast food paper bags and wrappings along with similar stuff from the food trucks.
Event Staff 4: The stadium and convention halls are a mess, too. The other open events similar to this did just fine in Houston. We held cultural festivals, and not once did we have a problem close to this.
Event Staff 5: Who are these people? The other event crowds we dealt with in the past were nowhere like this!
Event Staff 6: Good heavens; the rap music scene is more garbage than before! Their partnerships with McDonald's and Fortnite to lure these crazy kids in was a mistake! Houston needs a much better tourism strategy than this!
Leo: (narrating) To say that it was garbage was an understatement, but it's the truth. It's noise pollution; that's all it is, really.
Event Staff 7: I hope those crazy fools get identified and arrested for vandalism breaking the windows, fences, and doors like that.
Event Staff 8: Our sports fans are far more civilized than this. Whenever the Houston Astros make it to the World Series, we just put on our Astros jerseys and cheer for our team like any other normal people would. We don't dress up like goons with running shoes and leap over fences and trash up the place like Rise of The Planet of The Apes.
Super C: And that's why we don't listen to rap music.
Cripto: There is literally one rap song I do like, and it is partial rap, partially sung, and all about Knuckles the Echidna!
*The C.I.D.F. are also investigating.*
C.I.D.F. Soldier 1: Sorry, sir. No CNG to be found.
Super C: Then maybe they were all just drunk or stoned.
Cripto: Any sign of Cody or his posse?
C.I.D.F. Soldier 2: No.
Cripto: Oh, that's good.
Jack: Oh; thank the heavens for that one.
Zax: This is going to take a while for Houston to recover from this.
*Later, everything goes back to normal. The city of Houston is under partial lockdown due to their downtown being a crime scene from the rabid fans. Meanwhile, in China, politicians want to invite the American VPN employees for their upcoming Olympics.*
*Beijing, China*
Politician 1: *In Chinese to Liu.* Our dearest and greatest President of China, Liu the Confucian Lion. The People's Congress here would like to invite those American VPN employees for our upcoming Olympics since our people have been wanting to see them.
Politician 2: *In Chinese* Many of our people have never seen these Americans behind those VPN companies and our people deserve to see them. The problem however is that the world is under a global lockdown due to CNG. But we believe that we have the resources to safely invite all these Americans and provide them the protection they need.
Politician 3: *In Chinese* Since they're the ones who liberated us from Jinping, we shall reimburse their stay in our finest hotels in Beijing right before and during the Olympics.
Politician 4: *In Chinese* We also brought the American ambassador with us here.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* That would be me. If Liu approves your invitation plans, I will forward the message to Leo and have him invite the requested Americans to come here. Personally, I think it is a great opportunity and because we are in Beijing, we should be safe from the CNG crisis since most of that in China tends to happen in Macao. Xinjiang has seen a slight increase in CNG activity but they're easily managed. Anyways, Liu, what do you think about inviting our VPN workers as VIPs here for the Olympics, since they're the ones behind the VPN services that your country's children and people purchased?
Chuong: *In Chinese as he strolls around the streets in winter clothes.* Man this place is cold! Oh wait, that's just winter here.
Rainier: *In Chinese* I kind of like it actually.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Mr. Letterman: So China wants to invite our VPN employees who took an indirect part in liberating their country from Jinping. Yet we have a global CNG crisis.
Politician 1: Not if we supply them with CNG-OFF since T2 made them and use our Secret Service agents to protect them.
Politician 2: But China will be providing our VPN workers tight security, too.
Mr. Letterman: We wait for Liu's approval first, since Leo is waiting for that.s
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I don't see why not. It was those actions that got rid of Jinping, and the best part of about that was there was no violence involved. This is the age where the best way for people to attack the world is to do it as a cyber war, not a war with actual weapons, propaganda, and sometimes music. So yes, let's invite those employees to Beijing. *He turns to Kenneth.* I hope you're enjoying your time here as ambassador. Do you still sing with your rock band? Also, would you mind telling Leo that I want to invite those people here?
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: Indeed. I feel the odds are he will invite those VPN workers because, as he saw it, it wasn't a question of if he was going to replace Jinping, but when. He told me he preferred to do it if there was no violence or bloodshed, and as with all parallels, he has the phenomenon going for him (which CNG started), where what he says goes. Period. I also say that because the Commander (Super C) used those CNG reasoners with the C.I.D.F., and it claimed that because Argentina and Turkey disobeyed what I said about soccer riots, those massive numbers of people died when smugglers used CNG to influence those big derbies.
Tom: Enough to make a grown tiger cry, but I won't. I know Superclasico is Argentina, but what is Turkey's?
Leo: Let me see. *He looks it up.* Intercontinental derby. That's any soccer match between rivals Fenerbahçe SK and Galatasaray SK; thus, 1.5 million people died in those tragedies, just as 7 million died in the Argentina tragedies. With Arslan in charge of Turkey, however, anybody who even thinks about doing any of those things, fan, player, or manager, is in for extremely severe consequences.
*His app beeps.*
Leo: Oh, it's Cody. *He answers it.* Hello?
Cody's voice: Howdy, Mr. President. Say; y'all didn't happen to come down to Houston, did ya?
Leo: Yes; the G-52s, including me, were there to put a stop of the rioting. Why?
Cody's voice: I felt I should tell y'all I was plannin' to investigate it to see what all them fusses were 'bout, but I changed my mind.
Leo: Good. The last thing we want is you going gun crazy again, or worse, mouth crazy. No CNG involved, however. Why do you ask?
Cody's voice: The police department called us to help investigate the aftermath. There's at least five dead people we done found who seem to be them Belarussian coaches wantin' athletes. Do they want gold that bad?
Leo: Apparently so. But gold comes at a price. Thank you for telling us that, though. See if you can find anybody who ended up losing their humanity and are now stuck as animals.
Cody's voice: You're welcome, partner.
Leo: *to his administration* Did you all hear that? Five more Belarussian coaches died in that chaos. Yet the C.I.D.F. didn't find any CNG. I think we'd better keep looking into this.
*China*
Kenneth: *In Chinese* I do. And I think Furry Fury can come here for the Olympics, too. *In English on his smartphone.* Mr. President! Liu wants to invite our VPN employees as V.I.Ps here for the Olympics! Also, it would be nice if Furry Fury can come here for the Olympics, too.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Jack: Wow; I didn't know things in Houston was that bad. I think this is a good idea to have the local Texas National Guard in Houston to take control over the city's entrances.
Zax: *His phone beeps.* Mr. President. It looks like Liu wants to invite our VPN workers as V.I.P.s for the upcoming Olympics for liberating China. Get ready to e-mail them!
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Marked crime scenes are prevalent throughout downtown as politicians are considering having the Texas National Guard involved to control the city's entrances to keep unauthorized non-residents out.*
Politician 1: It's even worse than I thought. We confirmed with the Belarusian consulate office here that five of their coaches were found dead at the festival.
Politician 2: That stampede. I don't think we should ever allow this festival again. Right now, I think this is a good idea to put this city under martial law.
Politician 3: There were drugs involved, too. Lots of alcohol. Mayor, I hate to say this, but let's have the Texas National Guard take over our city's entrances.
Turner: I don't know if that's a good idea, but we never had anything like this happen before. This was something else.
Politician 4: Just put the city under lockdown under the Texas National Guard! Even our governor understands this! Hundreds of people are severely injured after being trampled to near death!
Politician 5: Leo would do this, too! Just put Houston under martial law; otherwise someone will throw CNG into this mess as insult to injury! I'm still baffled there wasn't any!
Turner: If you say so. *He uses his smartphone to order the local Texas National Guard to take control of the city's entrances to keep non-residents out where only government officials, authorized heroes (including "Callahan Cody" and his posse), and residents are allowed.*
*Civilians are calling for the festival to be cancelled forever as they express their dislike of rap music more.*
Civilian 1: All these lives just for some garbage rap music; screw that!
Civilian 2: We need better role models!
Civilian 3: Good heavens; what a [BLEEP] show!
Civilian 4: Language!
Civilian 3: This is Houston! That's how we express our strong feelings! Look at our hospital workers being overworked because of these fans!
Civilian 5: Rap music ain't the same these days!
Civilian 6: I can at least take care of my plants in peace.
Soldier 1: Whew; at least we didn't get called in to stop the mad crowd.
Soldier 2: It was close, though!
Soldier 3: Even though there's rabid fans jumping off of highways just for this festival? That was bad!
*China*
Liu: Wonderful.
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: *on communicator to Kenneth* Oh, does he? Excellent! I'll get working on that as soon as I can; I'm preoccupied with another problem. If you heard about the chaos in Houston, Texas the other night, you probably heard that the city's under martial law now. Plus, there's more of those Belarussian coaches running around, and five of them were killed at the festival.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Why did them city slickers even invent that there genre of music? Rap ain't music! Rap's just noise pollution!
Police 1: They're not going to be happy you said that, even if you said the truth. Personally, I can't stand rap either.
*The event staff then announces the festival has been cancelled forever, and that they wish they had just asked somebody like the 8-Bit Big Band to perform instead.*
*Washington D.C, USA*
Jack: Wow; that's really awful. I never imagined things to get that bad in Houston.
Zax: I have a bad feeling that Dallas is next for chaos. Juno and I live there.
Juno: I hope not. I think Austin is next, since they have a history of intensive political protests before.
Tom's silent thoughts: Please tell me they haven't jinxed us!
Marshall: The police of our state capitals have Israeli firearms in their armories, so they're way more prepared for almost anything that is thrown at them. Houston, however, was not, but after this situation, their police are considering purchasing Israeli firearms to better equip them for situations like this.
Mechayote: Now let's get working on the invitation to our VPN workers.
*The White House staff gets to work on typing their invitations to their VPN workers before e-mailing them.*
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The civilians let out a sigh of relief upon hearing that the festival in question has been cancelled forever.*
Civilian 1: Much better. Oh, hey! We can have a citywide furry convention here that promotes our state and local culture here! I know in China, their furry convention staff are in talks with their local governments to promote their local Chinese cultures in their conventions as a way to boost their tourism industries, so I figures we should do the same here.
Civilian 2: Oh, yeah! Most of the money earned through such furry conventions goes to the local funding of museums and other local nonprofit organizations, ranging from hospitals to nonprofit organizations that provide support to those with certain disabilities, from ALS to autism.
Civilian 3: We can do that here. I'm sure our modern art museums would love that, too!
Civilian 4: The Vietnamese ambassador to China is friends with a major furry here, who usually overlooks furry-related events and conventions. That ambassador is Chuong, that Moon Moon UN1024 soldier.
Civilian 3: I had no idea! But, yes; I think a furry festival or convention would be best for Houston; especially when it comes to promoting our state culture here!
Police Chief: I really do not like this, but since we've been getting more traffic, immigrants, and new residents from all over this entire country, we need to have Israeli firearms in our armory. The Tavor X95 is proven to be an excellent choice for assault rifles used by SWAT units. Houston is a sprawling city that is always growing, and because of this, we need better weapons when crime happens in Houston. Better weapons provide better protection to our police, whether we like it or not.
Police 2: Are we going to have the TS12 shotguns from Israel as well?
Police Chief: Yes! We're going to upgrade our handguns from the M&Ps to the MASADAs as well.
Police 3: Okay. I just hope there's less casualties after this event, and that I don't have to use Israeli firearms on anyone's life.
Police Chief: Remember that you signed that paperwork that if someone threatens you, it is your duty to protect yourself first even if it costs them their lives. We're police; we live to enforce laws and expect others to follow them. *He fills out the paperwork to purchase Israeli firearms for the police department as well as to get approval from the city government first. The city government and mayor unanimously approves the order for the requested firearms from Israel.*
*Tel Aviv, Israel*
*Employees of Israeli Weapons Industries (IWI) receive orders from Houston's police department for their firearms.*
IWI Employee 1: *In Hebrew* Hey guys! We got orders for our firearms!
IWI Employee 2: *In Hebrew* Our factories are producing them automatically. We're sending some specialists to Houston to train their police on how easy our firearms work and how they are perfect for their jobs.
IWI Employee 3: *In Hebrew* I wonder how Lior feels about Houston's police ordering our firearms after that music festival mayhem?
IWI Employee 4: *In Hebrew* As long the police aren't ordering machine guns from us, Lior won't care. He'll just say that's just another typical day in Israel. Major cities, local capitals, regional capitals, and national capitals always order our firearms to equip their police with anyways.
IWI Employee 5: *In Hebrew* Machine guns are best for border patrol work anyways.
*Dallas, TX, USA*
*VPN employees receive e-mails of their invitations to China. They print them as instructed so they can carry them to China for reimbursement of their trips.*
VPN Employee 1: Yo... We're going to freakin' China!
VPN Employee 2: Our families are invited, too! We're going to China for the Olympics!
VPN Employee 3: V.I.P. status, too! We're superstars in China! I went from average IT guy to superstar, and my company never intended to take down Jinping and have Liu as their President!
VPN Employee 4: Luxury hotels with security in Beijing complete with local media coverage of us? We're going to be celebrities in China!
VPN Employee 5: I'm taking my girlfriend with me to China! Got to pack up on my best outfits and look real good to the Chinese!
VPN Employee 6: Oh my goodness; we going to China! I have to look super good for this! I didn't think I'd live for this to happen! And this is on top of us earning our Presidential Medals of Freedom from Leo the Patriotic Lion that day!
VPN Employee 7: Oh, man; I had to go to a tailor shop to find a white tie suit that fits best for me! That was nerve-wrecking, but it was worth it! Had to do that for that ceremony! Looks like I'll be carrying my white tie suit again, just in case we get invited to an event that requires very formal wear!
VPN Employee 6: You got this! We are going to look real good! My boss paid for our spa treatment to help prepare us for that ceremony, so I'm sure we'll be getting that before we fly off to Beijing!
VPN Employee 8: You got any old clothes you want to throw out and donate, do it now and make room for some fresh outfits to wear in China! We have to look out best there!
Civilian 1: Y'all just got an invitation to China by their government?
Civilian 2: I know a lot of places in the mall here that have good outfits for you!
Civilian 3: Y'all be representing America, too, you know! I'm going to start a fundraiser to help you guys look your best! Y'all are going to be superstars when you go to China!
Civilian 4: Look for tailor shops for your fancy outfits!
Civilian 5: Have fun in China! Remember, the Chinese judge your appearances a lot, so please do what you can to make yourselves look good as possible, since what they see from you is what they assume about us! Change up your diet, exercise daily, spend more time on hygiene, and don't forget to book a spa appointment within a week before your flight so you can look your best!
Civilian 6: I'm joining the fundraising project, and let me suggest we hire fashion designers to help you and your family look real good!
Civilian 7: I thought it was Koreans that are super judgmental on appearances.
Civilian 5: The Chinese does that a lot as well, and if you don't look Chinese, they will judge your appearance more, so you have to look super good to them. Make them feel like they're looking at rich people with class. Doesn't have to be like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, but close to them as much as possible. Make them think that you and your family come from California or something, and that you're trendy and classy. That's the trick.
*Washington, D.C. USA*
Leo: There we go. *His communicator beeps again.* Oh. This just in: that festival is cancelled forever. Good riddance!
Tom: Next time, they should just hire the Drumbums.
*Leo also sends a message to the event staff of that event.*
Leo's message: The next time you want to hold some kind of festivity like that, hire the U.S. Lion Corps Band or someone like that instead; the world knows I have affiliations with those lions in addition to being President, so people will behave themselves.
*Israel*
*Lior learns about the Houston chaos.*
Lior: *in Hebrew* And that's why I say rap is unbiblical!
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Oh, thank heavens! This ain't never gonna happen again!
*GVS, AR, USA*
*The Nickelbacks learn about the Houston chaos.*
Nathan: Stupid festivals! Why do people have to be such beasts?
Jocko: Behavior unacceptable. It is miracle no CNG was involved; yet Belarus coaches were present.
Outlaw: They wanted to find more victims, no doubt. But if there was no CNG, what happened to it?
Sheriff Jackson: Good question.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Mayor Turner's Message: Our event staff got your message and we will consider that option. Houston is the most diverse city in America, and we like to have events featuring our diversity, but at the same time, we will consider safety as our main priority and make sure that nothing like that happens ever again.
Jack: Whew; about time Houston took the garbage out on that one!
Zax: That's more room for better events.
*Israel*
IWI Employee 1: *In Hebrew* That and rap music sounds much worse today. They make way less sense than before with more garbage.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Police 3: We can only hope since we can only do our best here.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
Civilian 1: I don't know where all them kids come from, but the fact that they used ladders to climb through the windows and over the fences disturbs me.
Civilian 2: Jumping over bridges and highways just for a music festival? What is wrong with people these days?
Civilian 3: Well it's done and over with. Let's look forward to something more exciting, like those VPN workers being invited to China. Take a look. *Passes newspapers about VPN workers being invited to China.*
Civilian 4: So it was them folks that took down the Chinese government and got Liu to take over without hurting anyone or being there in China? How is that even possible? Doesn't China have an advanced military?
Civilian 5: They do, but nothing like ours. But the fact that happened proved that there is hope. After all, in America, nothing is impossible.
*A small group of VPN employees from Phoenix are spending their vacation in GVS.*
VPN Employee 1: And welcome to Glenn Views Spring! My great grandpa was from here! Small, but significant town that still keep their memories alive.
Civilian 6: Y'all them folks that took down the Chinese government?
VPN Employee 2: Yeah. We're those guys. We even got the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Leo, which I didn't think was possible. Seeing him in person for that ceremony, it changed my life forever. I felt like I'm no longer an ordinary American.
VPN Employee 3: Yes; we're those guys. Explaining how we did it is difficult and complicated because we got invited by the new Chinese government to spend vacation in Beijing during their Olympics. That means a lot of Chinese are going to ask questions about us and how we contributed to Jinping's downfall without us knowing about this. This will not be easy to explain to them.
VPN Employee 4: And I do want to emphasize that we do not encourage kids to use our services to play their games late at night without anyone knowing. Yet, we cannot stop them, since that's beyond our abilities.
Civilian 6: Don't worry about explaining things. Welcome to Glenn View Springs, or GVS if you want to use the short form! *To the civilians.* Hey, everybody! These are the folks that took down the old Chinese government and got Liu in!
*The civilians cheer for the VPN employees as they wave back.*
VPN Employee 5: Just remember this; we never intended for this to happen. We only found out when it was too late.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: Events with better-behaved people.
*Houston, TX*
Cody: Yup.
*GVS, AR*
Nathan: You mean y'all's joke ain't no joke, and it smashed all them Chinese politicians?
Jocko: Tribe congratulate you on success. Clever idea. Successfully took down China. Make Liu the new President.
Outlaw: That was genius.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Jack: Exactly! Houston is just one of those places that tends to attract the unruly.
Mechayote: Nah. Try anywhere in Florida. To us Floridians, we tend to call that as another typical day. But these days, it's becoming way more civilized there.
Juno: *Switches on the news about American VPN employees celebrating their own invitations to China for the Olympics.* Wow; America is partying hard right now.
Jack: But in the end, Houston will be mourning for a while after that music festival went bad.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
VPN Employee 1: It really was!
VPN Employee 2: Stuff like that proves how powerful American innovation really is. The United States Space Force is proof of this.
VPN Employee 3: Yet we don't even have to use the military to prove how powerful America really is.
VPN Employee 4: The American people together is what makes us great.
VPN Employee 5: The US Navy even has a carrier docked in Hong Kong. That place is basically a glorified shopping complex complete with hotels, data centers, and busy street food vendors.
VPN Employee 6: And then there's Macao, which is quite close to Hong Kong. It's hard to get to Macao due to the CNG crisis in that particular city, but Macao is basically Las Vegas on steroids.
*San Diego, CA, USA*
*A furry Forsythian parade is held to celebrate China's invitation of the VPN employees.*
VPN Employee 1: All of this just for us?!
VPN Employee 2: No way! We're going to be superstars!
VPN Employee 3: All these furries just for us?
VPN Employee 4: I find it ironic that there are Krieglandonians doing a celebratory parade for us because they came from a planet where technology was basically limited in the civilian world. Then again, they let their wrong ideas depress them. Yet, here they are, celebrating us for unintentionally taking down Jinping and being invited to China by Liu. This is unreal, but I'll take it!
VPN Employee 5: And someone is doing fundraisers to hire fashion designers and other people to help us clean our homes out from old stuff to make room for the new. Even our wardrobes are going to be changed a lot.
VPN Employee 6: Just do what they say because they want us to look our best in China. They'll also be posting online videos of our transformation from looking like average Americans to being superstars.
VPN Employee 7: So we're getting makeovers as part of this too. Fair enough. We all could use a major makeover in our lives for the new year after all of this.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: I'm mostly grateful Cody didn't blow up.
Tom: He's probably furious deep down inside.
*GVS, AR, USA*
Nathan: Boy. I never would've guessed.
Outlaw: Neither would I. None of us plan to leave home anytime soon, but even if we did, we don't gamble.
Jocko: People keep proposing we add gambling hall to town. People vote no. Too big risk for CNG smugglers. Tribe instead run restaurant you see here, Moon Dweller BBQ.
Luke: One of the best places in town.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Jack: He is. The fact that Houston has ordered firearms from Israel for their police department shows that this event shouldn't have even happened in the first place. The performers are also seen as heads of their events. If something goes wrong, they must stop the performance right there and then. There are words that this did not happen at that festival. If Cripto saw something was wrong in his crowd or they're becoming unruly, he'd stop the performance on the second and ask them to stop or he'll get security involved.
Zax: Here comes a tidal wave of lawsuits on this.
*GVS, AZ, USA*
VPN Employee 2: Ooooh, yikes; didn't know you guys had to put up with that. According to federal law, Native Americans are usually the ones running gambling venues in many places, but also have the final say to allow them on their lands or not.
VPN Employee 3: Native American casinos, however, are slowly fading because of certain growing fields like IT and AI development. There's stories of their gambling facilities being replaced by data centers and clinics, but are still run by local Native American tribes. In the end, they feel happy about that since that means not having to deal with shady people daily.
VPN Employee 4: You guys seem better off without a gambling hall. Let's go to that barbecue place!
*The VPN employees enter Moon Dweller BBQ.*
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: Cripto's lucky he's never had audiences behave like that. Part of it is the fact people sadly still have an irrational fear of me; I blame CNG for that.
*GVS, AR, USA*
Jocko: Thank you. Enjoy barbecue!
*Jocko goes back to his home.*
Nathan: It's about that time, I reckon. I feel like a sub sandwich, actually.
Outlaw: We do have a new Jersey Mike's; let's go check that out.
*The cowboys go to the new Jersey Mike's sub shop.*
*Washington D.C., USA*
Marshall: Then do something about it, Leo. You, as our President, must make our people feel very comfortable under you. You have a duty to uphold our Constitution.
Zax: Furry Fury fans behave not because of you, Leo, but because they just know better. One of the rappers at that festival in Houston has a history of encouraging rowdy behavior. Cripto does not encourage rowdy behavior. When someone goes nuts, Cripto stops and asks them to knock it off. Cripto even asks people to line up and be civilized at the queue before entering his concerts, because the event security managers he works with want to make sure all of his fans are safe and that they can go home alive. When your fans die like that, you won't see them again. Cripto knows all of this inside and out.
Juno: With the rise of data, event managers want to make sure that the number of people attending should equal to the number of people leaving alive and unharmed. Buildings are equipped with integrated sensors that detect how many people are inside a building before it alerts the property manager and local fire department that maximum occupancy is nearing or has reached the limit. No doubt in Houston did those alerts go off the charts from several buildings with these crazy fans.
*Wildcat City, KS, USA*
*The police chief learns about the music festival disaster from Houston and has submitted paperwork for approval from the mayor to have Israeli firearms in the armory just in case they are needed. The city hall politicians look over the request first before sending it to Jabowitz.*
Politician 1: So our police chief wants Israeli firearms in the police armory just in case we hold an event that draws in large crowd to help prevent that disaster like the one from Houston.
Politician 2: IWI's guns are excellent for SWAT units in capital cities along with cities serving as county seats. Very comfortable and efficient but that's because Israeli guns were made for war than police work.
Politician 3: We are a major city with a very large population. Our population density is incredibly high, too. I think it is better that our mayor approves of this so our police have better means to protect themselves when needed. Better to have it when it is not needed, than to need it but not have it.
Politician 4: IWI is going to send a specialist to train our police on how to handle Israeli firearms for police work. Israeli weapons are very easy to use and have nifty features that make them ideal for police work too not just military. I say go ahead.
Politician 5: IWI has factories in America. Mayor Jabowitz, would you sign the paperwork to allow Wildcat City Police Department to have Israeli guns in their armory for their SWAT units?
*Washington, DC, USA*
Leo: No; I am going to do something about it. I'm also wanting to see how this plays out because lawsuits are being filed as we speak; the rappers called for security, but didn't stop the show.
*WC, KS, USA*
Jabowitz: They're just lucky CNG wasn't involved; otherwise, all 50,000 fans would have died.
*He signs the paperwork.*
*later*
*Leo makes another television appearance. As what always seems to be the case, literally every TV set in the world that is on at the moment is tuned in to him, since people act as if it is the unpardonable sin to not watch him.*
Leo: Hello, America. Sorry for interrupting your regularly scheduled programming, but I'd like to take a moment to take my turn in speaking about the tragedy that was Astroworld 2021. The entire Zanicchi administration was there to investigate it, and what we cannot wrap our heads around was why people would behave the way they behave and cause a crowd crush. At least eight have died, and hundreds more were injured. However, and this is important, CNG was not involved this time around. This was genuinely bad behavior, sometimes encouraged by specific performers; I won't say who. You know who you are, and by my beliefs, you owe the world an apology for it. But I will not force you do to so; I don't have that level of authority. I'm only the President, not the dictator of the world. You may call me the Galactic Emperor, but I don't actually have full authority of the full universe.
Let's be thankful CNG was not involved here, but let us also not forget that it was involved in the soccer riots that killed 7 million people in Argentina, and 1.5 million in Turkey. Those are the exact death tolls. For the former, that's almost 16% of their total population.
The more you people do things like this, the easier it is for CNG to carry out its agendas of eradicating humanity for being "too savage of a race," destroying modern technology that doesn't have to do with the military, music, or medicine, and ultimately making the entire globe the new Kriegland: a planet way behind the times because it was so worried about keeping up its morals and ethics, it just wouldn't embrace anything. That would mean, among other things, that the globe's favorite rock star and game show host (Cripto) would be out of work, among so many others. Don't forget (although CNG was also to blame for it), Cripto's own kind deserted him when he became a rock star given the groupthink issues Wildcat City was going through at the time, so he turned to the humans. He won't have any fans left from that category if stuff like this happens again.
I hope I've given you something to think about. Thanks for you time, and now, let's get back to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.
*The cameras go off the air. The national news media, who originally interrupted the programming to announce Leo was going to make these comments, briefly go back on the air to help smoothly transition back to regular programming.*
Camera Operator 1: Good job.
Leo: Thanks. I appreciate what you do; it's helping to restore my faith in the media after so many others involved in destroy that faith.
Zax: Good, good.
Jack: You know things are really bad when the FBI has to be involved.
Marshall: Now you got WHO and INTERPOL involved to help the world create new plans to prevent anything like this from happening again. Apparently lessons from Argentina's Superclásico wasn't enough.
Juno: Don't forget Turkey's Intercontinental Derby, which doesn't get mentioned often. Too bad when it does, it's already too late.
*Istanbul, Turkey*
*Uyghur immigrants are visiting the stadium as well as the graves of the fans of the Intercontinental Derby. The locals explain the story to the Uyghurs.*
Uyghur Immigrant 1: *In Turkish* So that's what happened. Then I'll just stick with living in mainland Turkey.
Uyghur Immigrant 2: *In Turkish* Sounds like a lot happened here.
Civilian 1: *In Turkish* Dead bodies and burned buildings galore. Istanbul used to look like a war zone.
Civilian 2: *In Turkish* And you wonder why Greek people despise us. We're trying to change our reputation here because we want to prove to them that we are civilized people and that us welcoming you is proof of this.
Civilian 3: *In Turkish* Uyghur people are kind and you're our kind of people through your ancestry.
Uyghur Immigrant 3: *In Turkish* I hope the Greeks understand us. Turkish people are complex at first, but we have a culture. We are very hospitable people as Turks. We strive hard to be that.
Uyghur Immigrant 4: *In Turkish* We came here because our origins are from here. You welcomed us as your own people. Belonging is what we've desired.
Uyghur Immigrant 5: *In Turkish* One day, Istanbul shall thrive again.
Civilian 4: *In Turkish* But I doubt Istanbul will be hosting sporting events again. Even the Greeks convinced the IOC to never allow Istanbul to host the Olympics after what happened from the Intercontinental Derby. Never! Never again!
*Beijing, China*
*The city's police are dressed in riot gear to practice and prepare for any rioting or uncontrollable crowd surges for the Olympics due to the Astroworld disaster. Local volunteers take the role of goons as they use various props to help the police prepare themselves.*
Volunteer 1: *In Chinese as he carries a ladder.* Charge!
Volunteer 2: *In Chinese as he rushes with the other crowds to run towards the police.* Go, go, go!
*The volunteers charge towards the police as the police use their riot shields to protect themselves and man catchers (or catchpole, also known as sasumata in Japan) to "restrain" the volunteers.*
Rainier: Wow; I didn't know China has sasumata or catchpoles.
Chuong: They do. A lot of east Asian countries, including Vietnam, have them. Western countries typically do not use catchpoles, but after what happened in Houston, that option is now on the table for western riot police units.
Rainier: Argentina should've had those during the Superclásico.
Chuong: Yes, but in their culture, it was normal to them. Too bad they paid the price when CNG got involved.
*Xinhua camera crews record the riot police practicing with their catchpoles on the volunteers. Some of the reporters interact with the police and volunteers, and Liu is present as usual.*
Volunteer 3: *In Chinese to the reporters.* I'm surprised that a lot of countries do not have catchpoles for police. It's a great tool and it lessens the possibility of people being injured from the crowds.
Police 1: *To Liu in Chinese.* As you can see, we are using our riot shields and catchpoles. There was a reason why warriors used long range melee weapons and shields st the same time. I think if the Americans used catchpoles, Houston wouldn't had that many people injured.
Police 2: *In Chinese as he demonstrates his use of the riot shield and catchpole.* This allows for easy restraining with less risk to injury and exposure. Very useful against unruly ccriminal.
*Another volunteer "charges" at a police officer with a rubber knife before the police uses the catchpole to keep the volunteer back.*
Volunteer 4: *In Chinese after dropping the rubber knife.* Very good!
Police 3: *In Chinese* Let's hope we don't have to face that situation here.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The police chief orders catchpoles to be made and sent to the police department as catchpole factories pop up all over America.*
Police 1: We should've done this a long time ago!
Police 2: What a brilliant idea! Helps to lessen injuries between us and the unruly!
*Wildcat City, KS, USA*
*The police chief submits an order for catchpoles as the politicians look over them.*
Politician 1: We never had a problem where catchpoles had to be used here though.
Politician 2: Is this necessary?
Politician 3: Our citizens here follow the laws to the T, so they have nothing to worry about. As long they follow the laws, they will never have to see these things being used on them.
Politician 4: These are nonlethal devices, but are still weapons. Excellent for riot police, but when was the last time we had a situation that required a catchpole?
Politician 5: No idea. Better to prepare our police for the worst when it never comes, rather than to need a catchpole, but not have one.
*City hall politicians approve the catchpole orders before sending them to Jabowitz for final approval.*
*Lyon, France*
*INTERPOL agents practice with catchpoles as well as to evaluate them and their effectiveness.*
INTERPOL Agent 1: *In French* Interesting... Hey, Leonce! What do you think of this?
INTERPOL Agent 2: *In French* It does help reduce risk and injury. These tools require more research to determine their effectiveness and rooms for improvements.
INTERPOL Agent 3: *In French* I suppose these catchpoles are handy. I think they're safer than tasers and stun guns. Use them in conjunction properly, they will be effective in restraining dangerous criminals.
*Washington, D.C., USA*
Leo: All the more reasons soccer wasn't my favorite sport. But for some countries, that's all they got.
Tom: I could never remember that it's called the Intercontinental Derby.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I share that wish; I do not want people behaving like that during the next Olympics. But it is best to be prepared and that's what you're doing. I also prefer criminals live to see the consequences of their actions, so using the pole does a lot less damage and detains the criminal.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*Super C is present because he's visiting with Cody, although the Cat of Steel is not wearing his battle uniform, but instead a sports jersey with headband.*
Super C: *to the police* I also wish everybody had these. Then maybe people wouldn't die in all those police shootings that the news freaks out over.
Cody: How does it work?
Police 1: Like this. Don't worry; I won't hurt you.
*The cop demonstrates a catchpole, but does it in slow motion so that he doesn't hurt Cody. Super C snaps photographs with his smartphone.*
Cody: Yup; this is a much better solution. Beats usin' them clubs or guns of yours when it ain't necessary.
Police 1: Exactly.
*WC, KS, USA*
Jabowitz: It's too bad we didn't have these a long time ago.
*He reads over the orders and then gives it final approval.*
*Lyon, France*
Leonce: *in French* All I ask is that these are not used in the wrong manner. But I do agree that this is way less violent than those other methods.
*Argentina*
*Leocadio and some civilians visit the graves of those killed in the Superclaisco tragedy because there are tourists present, and the tour includes this because of the area it is in.*
Leocadio: *in English, with people translating to Spanish* What I had to apologize for was the way I overreacted, because I wanted all soccer to end forever after that tragedy. But that derby will continue until the sands of time reach the final grain.
Tourist 1: So where does the hatred come from?
Leocadio: It's the nature of the rivalry. Those two teams are traditionally the top two teams in the country, and they commandeer about 70% of the nation's fans. I can't tell you what percentage of those people died in the tragedy.
Tourist 2: Do you think there's more to the story we're not being told? I can't imagine 7 million people dying over a thing like that, but then again, CNG was involved.
Leocadio: The CNG explosions happened in multiple places in Argentina, not just at the game. But they all had the same thing in common: trying to use CNG to rig the game in favor of one team. We ended up just cancelling the game, by the way; we didn't play it in Spain like we did in 2018.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* Yes. In the west, the police have stun guns and tasers. The Americans claim them to be nonlethal weapons, yet those weapons are designed to shock the targets individually with electricity. That can damage their heart. Others say that such weapons cause torture as well. So having the catchpole as an option before using an electroshock weapon is a good choice.
Do note that in America, civilians can carry tasers for personal defense though in typical American fashion, they prefer guns. I'm also surprised that you decided to liberalize gun ownership rights and laws here since you did say you want China to be more like the United States. But at least that does help to bring knife crimes down to basically nonexistent levels here.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* Pickpocketing crimes would be nonexistent here, too. In America, in many states due to relaxed gun laws, pickpocketing and theft are nonexistent because civilians are armed and alert. I'm still amazed how during China's bloodless revolution and coup, not a single person was hurt and there were no cases of vandalism. After Liu was appointed, they cleaned the streets and moved on.
Shi: *In Chinese* We are taught that our actions always affects others so whatever we do, we think about the others. When we act, we act socially. Even if we look like individuals, we act socially. But that's China for you.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Police 2: Yes, but the catchpole is best in certain situations, usually a large gathering that requires us to show up in riot gear as a precaution.
Police 3: But for routine police work, we still carry our tasers and stun guns. The catchpole is a large device, so they're not easily portable as the other devices we carry.
*WC, KS, USA*
Politician 3: Now we do, thanks to you.
*Wichita, KS, USA*
*Two policemen in riot gear pose in front of the state capitol building with their catchpoles for the media to take pictures of. The civilians, of course, shrug and don't seem to mind.*
Civilian 1: Meh. The state capitol police need the best tools anyways.
Civilian 2: We saw them pose with Tavor X95 assault rifles from Israel, so it is what it is.
*Japan*
*Across the nation, catchpole manufacturers are researching to improve catchpoles to make them more advanced yet still remain nonlethal. Many companies are developing catchpoles with quick retractable claws.*
Civilian 1: *In Japanese as he tests a retractable catchpole against a dummy.* Looks good!
Civilian 2: *In Japanese* About time the world catches up on why police forces need these!
Civilian 3: *In Japanese* The sasumata (catchpole) was the weapon of the samurai. Ryo knows about this. But the katana will always be the main weapon of the samurai.
Civilian 4: *In Japanese* Back in the Meiji Period, the samurai were trained to be police back then so they carried the sasumata along with their katanas.
Civilian 5: *In Japanese* Now sasumatas are going to be popular in the world in seconds all because 50,000 idiots barged into a concert in Houston in America. But better be that than another crowd crush.
*United Kingdom*
*The police examines their catchpoles.*
Police 1: This is a medieval weapon redesigned for the modern world!
Police 2: Trust us on this. They will come in handy. Useful when football games go out of hand.
Police 3: We're going to patrol in riot gear with this?
Police 4: Yes! This is your job! When there's a football derby going on, the catchpole will come in handy even if you don't need it.
*Washington D.C., USA*
Zax: We got soccer, too; they're just not as popular here.
*The police outside pose for the cameras with their catchpoles as they explain to the media how they work.*
Konrad: They say those things are less lethal than tasers and stun guns.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* It is indeed.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: Gotcha.
*Japan*
Ryo: *in Japanese* Or violent behavior at football (soccer) matches. That may be the one thing I hate more than a crowd crush.
*UK*
Lionus: Interesting. This way, people can still live to see the consequences of their actions.
Police 3: I know you don't like speaking of your past, but when was the last time you ransacked any properties because of football hooliganism? Tristan, I mean.
Tristan the Pegasus: Of which I have apologised since then, since I have shown remorse for all my actions, and I'm trying to atone for it after eliminating that behaviour.
But the last time I destroyed people's property because of football violence is what you asked. I suppose that would have been shortly after I arrived here with my master (Lionus) because it was the first time I had to be detained for it in the modern world.
Police 2: And the team?
Tristan the Pegasus: Millwall F.C.
Police 1: Oh.
Tristan the Pegasus: Need I say more?
Police 1: No. Everybody knows about those riots.
*Japan*
Civilian 1: *In Japanese* That's just uncivilized. Too bad Argentina paid the ultimate price for that one.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* Some of my friends in Houston are bringing back the satanic panic, claiming Astroworld 2021 was a demonic ritual sacrifice. Such conspiracy theories are absurd but as they say in America, let them make these ridiculous claims. I'm sure even Levon the Christian Lion would find their claims and conspiracy theories absurd.
Levon the Christian Lion: (narrating in English) Yes, I would. It's so easy to blame it on Satan when it was their conscience choice to behave like that. No doubt Satan was loving it. People often ask me, "Why does God allow these things to happen if He is a just God and a good God?" The answer to that question is simple: sin nature. When people don't believe God's truth and turn their back on Him, He lifts His hand of protection off and lets them fall to the wayside of lies and chaos.
Claiming this was an example of modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah was also the wrong answer, because God flat-out destroyed those cities. He didn't just rain fire and brimstone down on Houston.
*Houston, TX, USA*
*The Native American members of the Royal Pagans are present.*
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: *Notices fliers claiming Astroworld 2021 was a demonic ritual sacrifice along with fliers telling outsiders to not come to Houston, because the city is either bathed in sin or it has become a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.* I thought the satanic panic died in the last days of the last century.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: You would think so...
Shadow Lord Coy: Nightwolf, you're from Nebraska. You know a lot of this satanic panic stuff still lives on in many parts of the Midwest and South. Texas is, of course, not safe from this. The satanic panic has always been around; it wasn't well known until the Astroworld disaster happened.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: If people want to see a city full of sin, Las Vegas is a start, but these days, Macao is the better example.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I know in Las Vegas, they have legalized recreational marijuana, but have laws stating where they can be used; basically in the privacy of a hotel room or a home. What is Macao's stance on marijuana?
Shadow Lord Roxbury: Illegal, because Macao is under Chinese jurisdiction. It is likely that China may allow medicinal marijuana, but there are smokeless forms of it, so safest to say, only the smokeless forms of medicinal marijuana would be allowed. Liu may have liberalized China a lot, but has preserved the country's legal stance on illicit drugs, meaning basically a zero-tolerance policy on them, meaning jail or execution.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: Common-sense dictates that recreational marijuana should be avoided, and of course, that will never fly in China. Anyways, Sodom and Gomorrah? People here tend to take that out of context, it seems.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: Sodom and Gomorrah is abused in false equivalency arguments. People tend to forget that the past was full of horrible events that we tend to forget about. We teach history for a reason. Many of us would know that Astroworld is far from a demonic ritual sacrifice. We all know it was genuinely bad behavior. 50,000 idiots and one bad rapper who didn't stop the show. The rapper in question had partnerships with McDonald's and other companies aimed at kids. Who thought it would be a good idea to let minors in to a concert like this? Never mind the fact that the rapper in question made a homophobic slur starting with a letter F as well.
Shadow Lord Coy: Unacceptable! There goes McDonald's sales, as well as the sales of the companies he had partnerships with. *Watches a McDonald's get demolished by a construction crew before it gets replaced with a Whataburger. It doesn't happen in an instant, though; it takes time for the new Whataburger to open.* Karma.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I think all music concerts of all genres, even classical music, should only allow adults, because you don't want little kids being crushed in a crowd full of fully grown adults. Yes; that would apply the same to Furry Fury's concerts as well, just as extra safety measure. Cripto and his band would understand, since they have a lot of minor fans, and they genuinely care for their lives and want them to do well in school first, so they can have good jobs later to afford their tickets.
Shadow Lord Roxbury: It would be a wise idea.
Civilian 1: Oh, look! Leo's Secretary of The Interior, Coy, is here!
Civilian 2: Oh, it's that Californian coyote!
Shadow Lord Coy: Yes. I'm here to assess the damage, and I notice that there's a lot of fliers claiming that this event was a satanic ritual or something. We cannot stop people from making those claims since the First Amendment protects freedom of speech, but at the same time, they're not safe from those criticizing their claims, which is also protected under the First Amendment.
Civilian 2: Exactly! We all know it was genuinely bad behavior from 50,000 people and that one rapper. He was supposed to stop the performance when these kids starting breaching the gates! He didn't!
Civilian 3: There goes his sponsors, and boy has McDonald's taken a hit! Their stocks are falling fast! No wonder why more people here prefer Whataburger over McDonald's. Then again, I prefer Chick-fil-A over everything, but that's just me.
Civilian 4: Whataburger is where your customers are typically local blue-collar workers in their pickup trucks. Just some average local in Carhartt outfits in either a Ford F150 or RAM 1500. Sure Whataburger has their moments, but at least they don't have to worry about McDonald's customers, which are typically a bunch of unruly kids with no taste.
Shadow Lord Coy: I tried Whataburger and I enjoy it. I will admit that some of their burgers are better than the ones from In-N-Out, which is a popular chain in California.
*Another McDonald's gets demolished, but it is replaced with a Maximum Mighty Melt. However, McDonald's does not disappear entirely from the city of Houston.*
Civilian 5: Wow; McDonald's is disappearing fast here because they chose a bad rapper to be their sponsor. Crappy quality, crappy sponsors.
Civilian 6: And watch Fortnite tank, because that company also sponsored him.
Shadow Lord Coy: Everything has consequences.
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: I see the police here are utilizing sasumatas, or catchpoles, the later being the more common and popular term. I think they're way better than electroshock weapons. Electroshock weapons are almost useless in unruly crowds sadly as they are meant to target individuals. The sasumatas target individuals too, but they're less lethal than electroshock weapons. I wished we had these a long time ago since it makes it easier for criminals to live to see the consequences of their actions.
*Japan*
Ryo: *in Japanese* I don't ever want to see you people behave like that, but that's never been a problem.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* I'm sure Satan was using that in order to put his army of demons to work, but why does he bother? He knows God has already defeated him.
*Houston, TX*
*Cody and his posse also watch the demolitions of McDonald's, although not all the stores in town close down. This is because the C.I.D.F. had hired them to help with surveying the damage.*
Cody: I was 'bout to say, "I ain't never gonna eat at McDonald's no more," but that's too extreme in them overreactions.
Bryce: Lucky for you Hicksburg doesn't have one.
Cody: Once upon a time, it did. It ain't gonna have one now!
*One newspaper shows that the one and only McDonald's that was in Hicksburg is also being demolished. The store replacing it is a 2-in-1 that combines Long John Silver's with A&W.
Cody: At least we got A&W goin' in. LJS I'm not sure about.
Police 1: Do you like Long John Silver's?
Cody: I think it's a case of it doesn't like me instead of me not liking it. It's a lot greasier than I wish it would be sometimes.
Police 2: It's probably the batter. I have troubles with that stuff myself.
*China*
Chuong: *In Chinese* But people died.
Kenneth: *In Chinese* But people across America are cancelling that rapper's future concerts. You need to look at the bigger picture. It's about lessons.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Shadow Lord Coy: Meh; I dislike Long John Silver's. I know many places that have far better seafood. Heck! I'll take a Whataburger over that, and I'm from California! Whataburger has more spice than In-N-Out. Then again, that's food in Texas, so it is expected. Between In-N-Out and Whataburger, I think I prefer the latter. More item variety.
Civilian 1: For once, you got it right! People who move here from California know why we're the better state. No disrespect to them, of course.
*Austin, TX, USA*
*In response to the Astroworld incident, the state government decided to pass a law where only those over the age of 18 can attend concerts. Minors are banned from attending.*
Politician 1: I hope Cripto understands. This is the only way to prevent such a tragedy against minors from happening again.
Politician 2: Let's hope the rest of America follows suit.
Politician 3: I'm sure Cripto understands.
*Washington, D.C.*
Jack: Hey Cripto! Texas just passed a law stating only adults are allowed in concerts. That means if you perform in Texas, your minor fans there have to stay home so they can live. It's for the children's safety.
Jill: It's a sensible law that I hope the world catches up on, not just America.
Cripto: (narrating) What was I doing in Washington, you ask? Just visiting and catching up with my friends; that's all. Still, that was a law that I was okay with; I don't want minors using me and my rock band's music as an excuse for not doing homework.
*China*
Liu: *in Chinese* Exactly.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Cody: I give y'all an amen to that!
*Washington, D.C.*
Cripto: That doesn't bother me. The huge majority of my shows as a rock star don't have minors to start with; I think only twice have I ever had fans under the age of 18 at Furry Fury shows. But that was down in Australia.
Leo: What stadium were you in?
Cripto: I don't remember the name of it, but it's one of those stadiums where you'd go to see Aussie rules football. Who was the home team that time? *He thinks.* Oh. Brisbane. The Brisbane Lions.
Leo: The team Len naturally roots for if he's watching the game.
Cripto: *to Jack* Anyway, the point is most of the time minors don't go to my shows. They're content just listening to the music.
Jack: That's good, because mosh pit deaths and injuries are common, but you already know that. No concert is worth dying for, and performers know this.
*Houston, TX, USA*
Shadow Lord Coy: I will admit, though, that California does have some of the most beautiful and popular beaches in America. G-52s like the Outrageous Otter are from there. And because California has such a beautiful environment, and everybody wants to live there, that's why cost of living is so high there. Elon Musk used to work there with his company before he moved all of his operations to Texas. He lives in Austin. As far as I know, Musk is the richest human being so far, so you should be very blessed that he lives in this state. I've seen his works and he's transforming this state very well. Great state for relatively affordable living and jobs.
*More McDonald's stores are being demolished in Houston as they are replaced with advanced factories for medical equipment, shoes, work apparel, police equipment, military equipment, and materials processing.*
Shadow Lord Nightwolf: Yikes! That's got to hurt McDonald's profits a lot. It amazes me how despite how popular Furry Fury is, as far as I know, they rejected sponsorship deals for their performances since they want to show that music is solely their passion and for fun. It's a good move on their part so Cripto isn't so overloaded.
Cripto: (narrating) This is fact. I had so much to learn about the music industry when I first started being a rock star, because I originally had the same wish as Bodi, the main character from the Rock Dog films. ("I just want to play music!" he said. "I just want to share my music with the world.")
*All across the world, as more people learned about one of the Astroworld performers having a sponsorship with McDonald's, several McDonald's employees around the world are quitting for better jobs for better companies as well as local businesses.*
*Sydney, Australia*
*Several McDonald's get demolished and are replaced with new businesses.*
Civilian 1: Hey, guys! Did you hear about a new American shoe company called ROVUX?
Civilian 2: Those guys really live in the future! The Americans really know how to make science fiction real, since they created their Space Force.
Civilian 3: The Americans weren't kidding when they said they live in the future. And Leo is supporting them on this.
Civilian 4: Futuristic style shoes are a far more acceptable American import than garbage rap music. I'm glad to see them build a factory here.
Civilian 5: Tenacious Americans... No wonder why they brought down China and let Liu take over without being in China. *To Len* I don't know what your American counterpart is doing but whatever he is doing, we Australians need to learn from him. It's like every time we catch up, America has a new trick under their sleeves to wow the world with!
*Celebrities from Australia such as Larry Emdur, currently hosting The Chase Australia (replacing Deal or No Deal host Andrew O'Keefe) but best known for doing their version of The Price is Right, send Leo their congratulations on his success as President. The current Prime Minister of Australia does likewise.*
*Washington, D.C.*
Cripto: Our band isn't the band you'd do a mosh pit with anyways. It might also be worth knowing that we don't want to be overloaded, so we don't use any sponsorship deals. You're not seeing my face all over M3 unless it's because, as a superhero, I join the rest of the organization in allowing our likenesses to be used for toys in the kids meals. That has happened in the past. Why M3? They offered us the best deal.
Leo: Indeed. And Wildcat City recently gained back about eight McDonald's stores after the hiatus when Casino Drunk Man got them all shut down. This is different, though. I do not want to see McDonald's disappear entirely, however, because at one point they were the largest fast food corporation in the world, and I don't like seeing people out of work. Are they still the largest?
Cripto: I think so. *He looks it up.* Yes. Prior to all these stores being demolished, there were 38,695 stores total. I don't think they have anything to worry about.
*Drumbums who are in D.C. for a practice launch into the "Battle Hymn of the Republic."*
Leo: I never get tired of hearing that.
*Australia*
Len: All the more reason I am proud to be his Australian counterpart. And with these stores disappearing, it might start a new trend of people eating healthier as a whole. On the other hand, I hate seeing businesses go out of business. There's a plus and a minus to everything.
*all over the world*
*Sales of rap and hip-hop music as a whole are declining, and military march music is becoming more beloved than ever, especially if the Forsythians are the ones performing it. The C.I.D.F. works to see if CNG is behind this or not.*
Leo: (narrating) Houston has never been the same since that day, and I made sure to send my sympathy to the people of that city. In due time, a replacement festival would soon pop up because all the people who had bought tickets to Astroworld were given the option of either A) attending that one, or B) getting a refund. Those who chose option A actually had to sign lengthy release forms stating they would behave themselves, or suffer extreme consequences otherwise.
Cripto: (narrating) And the headliner for that festival was...you guessed it...us. Furry Fury.
Super C: (narrating) Meanwhile, another mystery has yet to be solved. If five of the people who died were those Belarusian coaches looking for athletes, why was there no CNG? We still don't know that, do we? CNG, having a conscience of its own, was probably angry it wasn't there to kill all 50,000 of those people involved in that festival. It would have also killed all the performers involved, believe me. But it's puzzling. You rarely see tragic events like that happen these days without CNG involved.
My guess is that somebody else stole the CNG from those coaches and used it for something else, only to have CNG kill them off. Just a guess. We may never know the real truth. Some things are better off if the only one who knows what happened is God.
Anyway, everybody hang in there. We'll not stop fighting this; we're all in this together.
THE END
The G-52s investigate the Astroworld tragedy, plus highlights of what happened afterwards.
G-52s, C.I.D.F., etc. © me and me alone
UN1024s, etc. © Chuong
Specific individual G-52s and the parallels of Leo are joint-owned between the two of us
Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA
Anything Goes (song) from the musical of the same name written by Cole Porter
Astroworld (album) © Travis Scott, Grand Hustle, Epic, Cactus Jack, and everybody else who owns the rights; Astroworld is also the name of the festival which suffered the real crowd crush during its 2021 happening.
Testudo Formation: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipe....._formation.jpg
Anything Goes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7NJ9ylAhos
Unknown from M.E.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RhMYI0hVSI
8-Bit Big Band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuAWJyfP1ws (Ending theme from Super Mario World)
Sasumata/Catchpole: https://preview.redd.it/nyqczjowg1u.....0449e7f3f9574f
ROVUX: https://rovuxfootwear.com/
Battle Hymn of the Republic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fl0ESCwPs
G-52s, C.I.D.F., etc. © me and me alone
UN1024s, etc. © Chuong
Specific individual G-52s and the parallels of Leo are joint-owned between the two of us
Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA
Anything Goes (song) from the musical of the same name written by Cole Porter
Astroworld (album) © Travis Scott, Grand Hustle, Epic, Cactus Jack, and everybody else who owns the rights; Astroworld is also the name of the festival which suffered the real crowd crush during its 2021 happening.
Testudo Formation: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipe....._formation.jpg
Anything Goes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7NJ9ylAhos
Unknown from M.E.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RhMYI0hVSI
8-Bit Big Band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuAWJyfP1ws (Ending theme from Super Mario World)
Sasumata/Catchpole: https://preview.redd.it/nyqczjowg1u.....0449e7f3f9574f
ROVUX: https://rovuxfootwear.com/
Battle Hymn of the Republic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0fl0ESCwPs
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
Jack: You may not notice them much, but there are furry hip hop artists out there. They may be rare with small fan clubs, but they're slowly growing and are out there.
Chuong: Now I see why the WHO removed gender dysphoria as a mental illness diagnoses for their newest ICD; so they can focus on far more concerning issues such as this.
Zax: I can't believe it took this long to convince the world how important it is to make plans to prevent crowd crushes even if they've been happening for centuries.
Jack: Don't forget that maximum occupancy are part of fire codes for a reason. In big music events like this, there's a reason why we Americans have firetrucks nearby along with ambulances.
Chuong: Now I see why the WHO removed gender dysphoria as a mental illness diagnoses for their newest ICD; so they can focus on far more concerning issues such as this.
Zax: I can't believe it took this long to convince the world how important it is to make plans to prevent crowd crushes even if they've been happening for centuries.
Jack: Don't forget that maximum occupancy are part of fire codes for a reason. In big music events like this, there's a reason why we Americans have firetrucks nearby along with ambulances.
D.W.: Better late than never, but it's still disturbing.
Super C: As long as they, the furry rappers, not swearing and don't have rabid fans that won't behave themselves, they're not going to get an argument from me.
Cripto: 9 times out of 10 when I'm driving and somebody's playing their car radio way too loud, it's playing this garbage.
Super C: As long as they, the furry rappers, not swearing and don't have rabid fans that won't behave themselves, they're not going to get an argument from me.
Cripto: 9 times out of 10 when I'm driving and somebody's playing their car radio way too loud, it's playing this garbage.
Marshall: Some will swear, but in very limited amounts these days. And because rap music these days no longer focus on violence but more on humorous content, you won't hear the F word being used as much these days. They may use them, but in extremely limited amounts. You won't even have to worry about them having rabid fans either since they tend to be out of the mainstream for specific audiences, which are usually fans of furry hip hop stars.
Leo: That's a relief.
Cripto: It certainly is. There's a reason the only rap songs I liked were about Knuckles the Echidna.
Cripto: It certainly is. There's a reason the only rap songs I liked were about Knuckles the Echidna.
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