- What this is about -
Recently I have been thinking about making myself focus on a start-to-finish project, mostly as a matter of making myself comit to something and actually having something to show for it. Over the years, I have started many projects that I have either left unfinished or that I hadn't thought through enough, maybe partly because I don't really share much about them; and at the same time, often when I do share in-progress things with a few people, I end up not finishing the thing, I don't know why. This is why I am reluctant to share anything that's a WIP usually.
In any case, this has resulted in a long line of unfinished projects. So, I would like to hear thoughts from others about a project I could to commit myself to. And the key thing here for me is that I want to do a project that's actually for myself, because I don't have so much trouble doing things for others when there are set goals and expectations.
I liked Macro March because I committed myself to it and had something to show for it, even if a lot of the drawings were a bit random or imperfect and even though I didn't actually do one drawing for each day; I still made drawings for many of those days and the process made me committed to actually think of new ideas for each day, too.
Now, there are a few ideas I have been thinking about for a while which would probably require my dedicated attention for a reasonable amount of time in the same way as those monthly drawing challenges do. This doesn't mean I would stop thinking about/doing other drawing things, just that I'd actually commit some of the rest of my free time to these.
- Project ideas -
These are some ideas I am considering at the moment, with a brief context for each one. I don't expect a lot of interest in any of these ideas from others, but I would welcome any thoughts or comments on them. And if you have some other idea that you think might suit me as a project, I would probably be happy to hear it too.
- A full Tarot-style deck of cards created digitally. The themes would be based on my personal explorations of psyche, dreams and symbols. This would likely include dark fantasy, vore and body horror. Although I haven't been able to maintain a dedicated interest in Tarot, I still find the concept interesting and would like to make this deck as something concrete that relates to the personal explorations I mention.
- A Grim Dawn fan-fiction of sorts, either in comic form (low text/many drawings) or in illustrated story form (more text/fewer drawings). The stories I have in mind always revolve around the Cult of Ch'thon as in the game's setting, but in a much more detached way and having a focus on my own Witchblade character, so this project would likely feature demons, intrigue and possibly other more violent themes that I don't normally get into, like murder and abduction; but I can see myself doing vore and body horror in this too.
- A set of short stories (very few pages and illustrated) set in a personal universe I have been building around Shadowhide as a character. It takes place on a moon around a remote gas giant. Although I have an overarching story already in-progress, it is very clumsily written and will likely never see the light of day. Even so, it has given me the means to be able to create much shorter and disjointed story segments that add to the worldbuilding of the setting.
I don't know if I might come up with anything else that I'd be really into, but after I decide on a project to work on, I will make a journal post mentioning what that decision is and have an expected timeframe for actually completing the project. So, the point of making this post now is that I'm letting others know about my intent, so that people can potentially keep me in check about actually getting something finished.
I expect to give this a good think and decide something either by the end of this month or at some point in January, depending on how things go for me.
Any further progress updates would be in the form of journal posts and in the case of the deck and the fan-fiction, I'd probably post completed parts gradually as they became complete, but for any of these ideas, ideally I'd like to have a physical copy of the thing for myself. That would be what would likely make them feel complete to me and would be the end goal, in a way.
- Journal thoughts -
Since this is pretty much just like one of my journal posts, I would like to also mention two other things briefly.
Something I don't remember if I've mentioned or not publicly, probably have in some expression of frustration though... There's a separate room in the house, which I'd been using for doing traditional art, namely acrylics. For almost two years now, the room has remained pretty much unusable for this purpose but recently I had managed to reclaim enough space in it that I could continue painting. Unfortunately, we finally discovered the source of an annoying damp problem in the room that makes everything (except my paintings, and a few other things) get covered in green mould; discovering the source of the issue has meant that we've had to turn the room upside down to start sorting the problem ourselves. We've found out that the previous idiots that did work on the room had bypassed the damp course in the room and that the remaining damp problem is a penetrating damp that we'll be able to sort out at some point soon.
And so, I managed to start I think just one new painting in the last two years and that's been about it. Doesn't feel great at all...
The other thing. Some months ago, I expressed some concerns in my journal about whether I'd be able to continue having medication for my condition; I never had a follow-up post about it but I can now say that I will be able to remain on my medication for at least about another year. I'd like to feel secure about just being able to always have access to it, but this is better than nothing. I remain frustrated about many issues in my life but I know acceptance of my own problems comes and goes; I guess this post is about accepting that I will never finish or even begin some projects in my life and that I will need to give something my focused attention sooner or later.
- And the drawing -
Oh and I made the drawing here just for this post! I do quite like how it turned out.
It's a semi-accurate representation of the space where I usually do any digital artwork, design replacement parts and play games; the desk is actually a dining table my mate got years ago, which we've used as our computer desk ever since. I'd like to do one of these for my traditional art room, whenever it ever stops being in an unusable state of flux.
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You've got a nice setup for sure!
As far as project ideas go, the Tarot card one sounds the most interesting to me.
Hope you're staying safe and healthy too man and continue to do so.
As far as project ideas go, the Tarot card one sounds the most interesting to me.
Hope you're staying safe and healthy too man and continue to do so.
Thank you for the input and the wishes of health.
And yes, it's taken a while to get things sort of organised.
Being somewhere more stable has helped, we moved around a lot some years ago.
And yes, it's taken a while to get things sort of organised.
Being somewhere more stable has helped, we moved around a lot some years ago.
Hello,
sorry for not commenting or anything in a while,
I have hardly heard of Grim Dawn and so can't really comment on it, but in terms of appeal to me as the consumer of this material, the Tarot card one is of a kind where I sort of have to be in the right mood to "get" it, but if/when this happens it ends up being more impactful; whereas, at least assuming the most common interpretation of the description you've given, the story sounds like it'd be more conventional in both dimensions - and in fact part of the appeal I expect this would have for me is that it would make your character seem less dreamlike by grounding them in a specific universe.
Congratulations(?) with your medication, I don't envy you.
Always neat to see these views into real life. The chair does look somewhat uncomfortable with that tail, haha.
Nice that you're doing a project like this, that's a habit I need to develop myself.
sorry for not commenting or anything in a while,
I have hardly heard of Grim Dawn and so can't really comment on it, but in terms of appeal to me as the consumer of this material, the Tarot card one is of a kind where I sort of have to be in the right mood to "get" it, but if/when this happens it ends up being more impactful; whereas, at least assuming the most common interpretation of the description you've given, the story sounds like it'd be more conventional in both dimensions - and in fact part of the appeal I expect this would have for me is that it would make your character seem less dreamlike by grounding them in a specific universe.
Congratulations(?) with your medication, I don't envy you.
Always neat to see these views into real life. The chair does look somewhat uncomfortable with that tail, haha.
Nice that you're doing a project like this, that's a habit I need to develop myself.
That is totally understandable, and thank you for taking a moment to comment. Yes, thick tails really don't lend themselves to some typical human things. :P
I agree about the Tarot thing in regards to mood; it's really interesting, but difficult to get a hold on me. However, it is one of the more realistically accomplishable projects here - "small and achievable goals" and all that - with the added advantage that it would feel infinitely more personal for me than any other decks I might come across.
Could you briefly expand on why making my character seem less dreamlike might be of some appeal? I ask since "dreamlike" is certainly a big value of its origin for me.
I agree about the Tarot thing in regards to mood; it's really interesting, but difficult to get a hold on me. However, it is one of the more realistically accomplishable projects here - "small and achievable goals" and all that - with the added advantage that it would feel infinitely more personal for me than any other decks I might come across.
Could you briefly expand on why making my character seem less dreamlike might be of some appeal? I ask since "dreamlike" is certainly a big value of its origin for me.
Alright, I have written and discarded responses to this maybe 5 times in the last 2 weeks, sorry for the delay.
With the "dreamlike" remark, I meant how sometimes even some of the ones that take place in a consistent universe, e.g. the lighter lab coat ones, are in an unfamiliar enough context that it is hard to infer what is going on within the larger universe, and specifcally what the characters' motivations and backgrounds are. So I call it "dreamlike" in that, like a dream interpreted literally, it resembles a universe with a consistent internal logic, but if so (not so in the case of actual dreams, partially yes so as I read what you wrote) one in which that logic is difficult to discern.
I see now that this was an unromantic way of interpretation. In a more compact form above I do think I was putting too much emphasis on "in-universe" interpretation.
With the "dreamlike" remark, I meant how sometimes even some of the ones that take place in a consistent universe, e.g. the lighter lab coat ones, are in an unfamiliar enough context that it is hard to infer what is going on within the larger universe, and specifcally what the characters' motivations and backgrounds are. So I call it "dreamlike" in that, like a dream interpreted literally, it resembles a universe with a consistent internal logic, but if so (not so in the case of actual dreams, partially yes so as I read what you wrote) one in which that logic is difficult to discern.
I see now that this was an unromantic way of interpretation. In a more compact form above I do think I was putting too much emphasis on "in-universe" interpretation.
I see what you meant now, thanks for the explanation. In any case, I agree with your notion now that I understand. I'll try to keep this condensed.
The way you see the background, events and context of many images I've done, especially with myself as Shadowhide (but sometimes also others), they are definitely dreamlike fragments; many of them were sprung from random thoughts, so their logic is inherently mutable and incomplete, because content that arises without intent (i.e. from the non-conscious) simply has the same logic that dreams do; one which is often only partly based on any given reality, or any set facts.
And perhaps like any dream, the fragments can only truly make sense to those who dreamt them, because nobody else can experience the same frame of reference directly.
I think the stories would make no difference in this regard. They and the backstory can only ever provide you and others with a poor rationalised understanding of why the fragments came to be in the first place. The fragments pre-date the story, so there's an element of "chicken and the egg", and they never refer to the story - the story never refers to the fragments either, even though the whole point of the story was to explain character traits (hence "backstory").
They remain incompatible as their own individual things, but as a "character", because I exist in or through both the backstory and the fragments, I will (apparently) tie them together, regardless of how disjointed they actually are. (Just as how I as a conscious being would be the only tie between many of my dreams, by "being there" to experience them.)
The way you see the background, events and context of many images I've done, especially with myself as Shadowhide (but sometimes also others), they are definitely dreamlike fragments; many of them were sprung from random thoughts, so their logic is inherently mutable and incomplete, because content that arises without intent (i.e. from the non-conscious) simply has the same logic that dreams do; one which is often only partly based on any given reality, or any set facts.
And perhaps like any dream, the fragments can only truly make sense to those who dreamt them, because nobody else can experience the same frame of reference directly.
I think the stories would make no difference in this regard. They and the backstory can only ever provide you and others with a poor rationalised understanding of why the fragments came to be in the first place. The fragments pre-date the story, so there's an element of "chicken and the egg", and they never refer to the story - the story never refers to the fragments either, even though the whole point of the story was to explain character traits (hence "backstory").
They remain incompatible as their own individual things, but as a "character", because I exist in or through both the backstory and the fragments, I will (apparently) tie them together, regardless of how disjointed they actually are. (Just as how I as a conscious being would be the only tie between many of my dreams, by "being there" to experience them.)
To expand on the assumptions behind my use of "interpreted literally": as I treat it (and I realize this might be controversial in some cases), there is consistent truth/falsity in the physical world, but the only way this applies to dreams and similar is in technical terms dissimilar to the regular perception of the thing - these brainwaves occurred at these times, etc.
I'll agree with "And perhaps any...", and add that, in addition to the "frame of reference" being the source of experience, it's the source of the thing being experience, so that applies doubly so.
I can't think of anything in particular to say to the rest, besides, ok, that explains it.
I'll agree with "And perhaps any...", and add that, in addition to the "frame of reference" being the source of experience, it's the source of the thing being experience, so that applies doubly so.
I can't think of anything in particular to say to the rest, besides, ok, that explains it.
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