File type: Acrobat Portable Document (.pdf) [Download]
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After going through a night conversation with his firebird friend, Ruvim goes to a corner bar to help a desperate fellow with solving the mystery of acquired document.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 90px
Listed in Folders
Finally caught up reading this; I can indeed say you have improved fast.
Only thing i suggest, is to use one more line return when making big time skips or when switching perspectives (unlikely you will need to, given that you're writing 1st person journal-style). It helps the reader understand that there's a significant pause in the narration, and can help in tracking the right paragraph if one has to interrupt their reading at any point.
This doesn't affect the relatively short format you're uploading, but if you ever happen to make snippets in the double-digit page numbers, it can start making a difference.
Only thing i suggest, is to use one more line return when making big time skips or when switching perspectives (unlikely you will need to, given that you're writing 1st person journal-style). It helps the reader understand that there's a significant pause in the narration, and can help in tracking the right paragraph if one has to interrupt their reading at any point.
This doesn't affect the relatively short format you're uploading, but if you ever happen to make snippets in the double-digit page numbers, it can start making a difference.
I had to thought out what you meant by "one more line return", but I figured it out. I'll consider it, but given that there aren't that big time skips (1st entry is happening on Friday and this one in Monday/Tuesday next weak, so it's 3 days of action), I don't think it's that much needed.
I thought about making longer entries, but I'm quite comfortable with releasing entries that have one-digit page count. Perhaps in the future, but that's not certain.
I thought about making longer entries, but I'm quite comfortable with releasing entries that have one-digit page count. Perhaps in the future, but that's not certain.
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