Illustration commission by tanukibomb
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Wait a minute, we're out of sequence! Way out of sequence!
Is that actually Emmet and Sully? What are they doing way out west?
The full report will have to wait until they get back—if they get back. Because while the initial spatiotemporal projection was a success, a mechanical mishap post-transit turned what should have been a quick jaunt into a much bigger problem: the wombat and ferret had transported themselves back in time, but they'd be taking the long path home if they didn't think of a way to repair their ride.
Now, Emmet is nothing if not a resourceful wombat. But to build a working temporal tunneler with 1880s technology, he first needed money. He knew one surefire way of earning it—sellin' inventions—but he didn't have a lab in this time period...
It was Sully who came up with the solution. How did conmen and shysters make a buck in western movies? By hawking medicinal tonics and elixirs!
Emmet was immediately taken with the idea (if only because he couldn’t think of anything with a higher revenue-to-effort ratio), so he promptly set to work establishing a traveling business selling Professor Underwood's Miracle Tonic.
Their respective roles in the con were decided. Emmet would be the barker, playing the role of the "learned foreigner" eager to impart his amazing scientific discovery to the unsuspecting townsfolk.
Sully meanwhile would be the audience plant: a dusty cowhand fresh off the trail and therefore riddled with ailments that needed the Good Professor's curing. But with just one sip of Emmet's tonic, his bursitis and appendicitis and whooping pneumonia would all be gone and he'd be dancing a jig and firing his six-gun into the air once again!
(Sully's agreement was predicated on him being allowed to have a gun. Emmet consented, on the condition that it be filled with blanks. He didn't trust the ferret with matches; he sure as hell wasn't going to let him have live rounds. Not that there was much choice in the matter: Sully's southern drawl and fondness for old movies basically guaranteed what character he'd be playing.)
There were still two problems.
The first was that they needed a horse to pull the merchandise wagon. Luckily they found one who was willing to work on a delayed payment schedule in return for a cut of the takings.
The second problem was a bit stickier. It turned out that real-life frontiersmen were not quite as gullible as the ones from the movies...
---
And thus we find our heroes, having been run out of town once again, but only a little worse for the wear for it, all things considered. They're licking their wounds in the desert, hoping that the next settlement over will prove a bit more hospitable.
Emmet's trying to hide it, but the constant failures are sending him into despondency. The searing heat, the choking dust, the lack of air conditioning and antibiotics would all be bad enough on their own, but he's starting to give serious thought to the possibility he might die here. Accordingly he's drowning his sorrows with his "medicinal" supply. The snake oil is mostly alcohol by volume anyway, and he's pretty sure the rest of what's in it won't kill him.
Sully's trying to lighten the mood in the best "western" way he knows: by strumming atonally on a guitar, singing both loudly and badly.
As for the horse... bad blood is brewing between him and them. He's beginning to suspect that the wombat has no intention of actually paying him, and that the ferret is intentionally keeping their environment as noisy, chaotic, and generally liquored up as possible to forestall any serious discussion of their contract.
For the time being, though, Sully's methods seem to be working. Emmet's in that magic window where he's not yet drunk enough to pass out, but too drunk to get up and smash the guitar. In fact, he appears to be singing along!
And the horse will just have to put up with it all.
"We're havin' a singalong, pal! So sing along or go back to sleep!"
---
Wait a minute, we're out of sequence! Way out of sequence!
Is that actually Emmet and Sully? What are they doing way out west?
The full report will have to wait until they get back—if they get back. Because while the initial spatiotemporal projection was a success, a mechanical mishap post-transit turned what should have been a quick jaunt into a much bigger problem: the wombat and ferret had transported themselves back in time, but they'd be taking the long path home if they didn't think of a way to repair their ride.
Now, Emmet is nothing if not a resourceful wombat. But to build a working temporal tunneler with 1880s technology, he first needed money. He knew one surefire way of earning it—sellin' inventions—but he didn't have a lab in this time period...
It was Sully who came up with the solution. How did conmen and shysters make a buck in western movies? By hawking medicinal tonics and elixirs!
Emmet was immediately taken with the idea (if only because he couldn’t think of anything with a higher revenue-to-effort ratio), so he promptly set to work establishing a traveling business selling Professor Underwood's Miracle Tonic.
Their respective roles in the con were decided. Emmet would be the barker, playing the role of the "learned foreigner" eager to impart his amazing scientific discovery to the unsuspecting townsfolk.
Sully meanwhile would be the audience plant: a dusty cowhand fresh off the trail and therefore riddled with ailments that needed the Good Professor's curing. But with just one sip of Emmet's tonic, his bursitis and appendicitis and whooping pneumonia would all be gone and he'd be dancing a jig and firing his six-gun into the air once again!
(Sully's agreement was predicated on him being allowed to have a gun. Emmet consented, on the condition that it be filled with blanks. He didn't trust the ferret with matches; he sure as hell wasn't going to let him have live rounds. Not that there was much choice in the matter: Sully's southern drawl and fondness for old movies basically guaranteed what character he'd be playing.)
There were still two problems.
The first was that they needed a horse to pull the merchandise wagon. Luckily they found one who was willing to work on a delayed payment schedule in return for a cut of the takings.
The second problem was a bit stickier. It turned out that real-life frontiersmen were not quite as gullible as the ones from the movies...
---
And thus we find our heroes, having been run out of town once again, but only a little worse for the wear for it, all things considered. They're licking their wounds in the desert, hoping that the next settlement over will prove a bit more hospitable.
Emmet's trying to hide it, but the constant failures are sending him into despondency. The searing heat, the choking dust, the lack of air conditioning and antibiotics would all be bad enough on their own, but he's starting to give serious thought to the possibility he might die here. Accordingly he's drowning his sorrows with his "medicinal" supply. The snake oil is mostly alcohol by volume anyway, and he's pretty sure the rest of what's in it won't kill him.
Sully's trying to lighten the mood in the best "western" way he knows: by strumming atonally on a guitar, singing both loudly and badly.
As for the horse... bad blood is brewing between him and them. He's beginning to suspect that the wombat has no intention of actually paying him, and that the ferret is intentionally keeping their environment as noisy, chaotic, and generally liquored up as possible to forestall any serious discussion of their contract.
For the time being, though, Sully's methods seem to be working. Emmet's in that magic window where he's not yet drunk enough to pass out, but too drunk to get up and smash the guitar. In fact, he appears to be singing along!
And the horse will just have to put up with it all.
"We're havin' a singalong, pal! So sing along or go back to sleep!"
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Male
Size 2446 x 1506px
Necessity is the mother of invention! And of bringing out one's true colors, perhaps...
life its full with surprises....most of them bad, so at the end when you're nothing but helpless, the only way to become the hero of your story is to accept them!
....drunk Emmet looks so careless, but seem like really having a good time at this point X3
....drunk Emmet looks so careless, but seem like really having a good time at this point X3
This is an example of what can happen when the future is written before the past. I need to clarify here that the time machine didn't really "break," it was intentionally wrecked by someone who went looking for where two "strangers" had parked...
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