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Thursday Prompt
Oct 25,2023
Daniel fought to keep a grip on his handhold, but much like the tenuous grip he held on his sanity, it was slipping. His palm pad was sweaty from the prolonged ride and cramped quarters in the subway car. He had trouble deciding whether he was actually here in this time and place, or in a nightmare hellscape conjured by some prankster demon tasked with inflicting eternal torment.
In his current existence, he wasn't sure what aspect he despised most.
Was it his wife, who infuriatingly insisted on cooking dinner right at 5pm every single day? He never once made it home earlier than 6pm. His food was always cold and unappetizing. He stopped bringing it up ages ago just to avoid the inevitable fight.
Was it the passenger of the day on his left, a badger construction worker, caked in dried mud? They constantly bumped into him, repeatedly showering him in a cloud of brown dust.
Maybe the chattering cheetah on his right, phone permanently poised in front of her muzzle? She carried on her inane conversation with abandon, recklessly sharing personal details with the total strangers surrounding her.
It's the damn train, he thought. It seemed like he spent half his life on this train, either going or coming from work. And today, for some unfathomable reason, the train was not moving.
The raccoon nearly chuckled at a remembered scene from an old comedy show. One of the main characters was on a subway, just like this one. Packed with people, just like this one. Then it stopped, just like this one.
The character on the show speculated what happened. Then she felt like she couldn't breathe. She thought she might die on that train. Mentally she screamed and cursed for the train to move. And a moment later it did...and then stopped again.
On TV, it was funny because of how absurd the situation was. One thing after another made the train ride unbearable. Except now Daniel experienced the episode playing out in real time, and his amusement evaporated
The train stopped moving more than fifteen minutes ago. The conductor made a brief announcement, something about having them moving in a few minutes.
And somehow, the cheetah never stopped talking.
And the badger kept bumping into him, even though the train was still.
No, Daniel thought, it had to be the mind numbing commute itself. Facing the wheel of chance every day, not knowing who he would be stuck between. Every ride slowly eroding away the thin barrier holding back a nervous breakdown.
He suddenly wondered if he called to the heavens and begged for a meteor to come and end this singular existence of misery, would anyone answer? No, probably not, he shook his head. He could never be that lucky or significant.
The air in the train swirled and a rushing roar erupted from the far end of the car. Panicked screams rang out and a blinding flash caused Daniel to shield his face.
The floor rumbled and the wind grew to a gale. The roar increased in volume as did the terrified screams. The racoon chanced a glance toward the source and pondered for that fraction of a second if he had gone insane.
A churning void shimmered at the other end of the car. Brilliant lightning lashed out of it, and passengers were being pulled into the infinite depth. He felt an invisible force tug at him and he instinctively clutched at the handhold.
Within the blink of an eye, the cheetah next to him was pulled off her feet and into the void. The construction worker stumbled and followed next. The other passengers not already holding onto something were pulled in as well.
Daniel closed his eyes against all the screaming, the pull on his body increasing. He concentrated all his will at gripping the handhold. His fingers strained as the pull increased and he cried out in fear.
“Please,” he whimpered, “I don’t want to die.”
He suddenly felt a hand shake his shoulder. The deafening roar was silent and the air calm. He timidly opened his eyes to a middle aged badger gripping his shoulder.
“Hey buddy, you okay? Don’t you usually get off at this stop?”
“Huh, stop?” Daniel looked around confused, and only then noticed his phone buzzing in the breast pocket of his navy blazer. Recognition washed over him as his eyes saw the marquee. “Oh, my stop!”
Daniel fumbled with his briefcase and managed to scoot past the automatic doors before they whumped together. He shouted to the badger on the other sid, “Thanks, I owe you one.” The badger smiled and gave a thumbs up as the passenger car rolled away.
The phone continued buzzing and Daniel fished it out of his pocket. The screen said, “Aubrey.” His finger pad swiped the code to unlock the phone and he answered.
“Aubrey?”
“Hey Danny, just wanted to check when you were getting home? I was thinking pasta, but I can do something else if you’re not feeling-”
“Let’s go out tonight,” Daniel interrupted, “I think we need a break from the routine.”
“Oh, okay,” Aubrey replied, her voice gaining energy, “what did you have in mind?”
“Someplace that has music and dancing. And I think you should wear that nice blue dress, the one that accentuates your tail. I just got off the train, I should be home in ten minutes.”
“That sounds lovely. I’ll get ready,” she said. “Why the sudden change, is everything okay?”
“Just had a weird commute, that’s all,” he said. “I’ll tell you about it over dinner. Love you.”
“See you soon, Danny. Love you, too,” she replied.
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Thursday Prompt
Oct 25,2023
Daniel fought to keep a grip on his handhold, but much like the tenuous grip he held on his sanity, it was slipping. His palm pad was sweaty from the prolonged ride and cramped quarters in the subway car. He had trouble deciding whether he was actually here in this time and place, or in a nightmare hellscape conjured by some prankster demon tasked with inflicting eternal torment.
In his current existence, he wasn't sure what aspect he despised most.
Was it his wife, who infuriatingly insisted on cooking dinner right at 5pm every single day? He never once made it home earlier than 6pm. His food was always cold and unappetizing. He stopped bringing it up ages ago just to avoid the inevitable fight.
Was it the passenger of the day on his left, a badger construction worker, caked in dried mud? They constantly bumped into him, repeatedly showering him in a cloud of brown dust.
Maybe the chattering cheetah on his right, phone permanently poised in front of her muzzle? She carried on her inane conversation with abandon, recklessly sharing personal details with the total strangers surrounding her.
It's the damn train, he thought. It seemed like he spent half his life on this train, either going or coming from work. And today, for some unfathomable reason, the train was not moving.
The raccoon nearly chuckled at a remembered scene from an old comedy show. One of the main characters was on a subway, just like this one. Packed with people, just like this one. Then it stopped, just like this one.
The character on the show speculated what happened. Then she felt like she couldn't breathe. She thought she might die on that train. Mentally she screamed and cursed for the train to move. And a moment later it did...and then stopped again.
On TV, it was funny because of how absurd the situation was. One thing after another made the train ride unbearable. Except now Daniel experienced the episode playing out in real time, and his amusement evaporated
The train stopped moving more than fifteen minutes ago. The conductor made a brief announcement, something about having them moving in a few minutes.
And somehow, the cheetah never stopped talking.
And the badger kept bumping into him, even though the train was still.
No, Daniel thought, it had to be the mind numbing commute itself. Facing the wheel of chance every day, not knowing who he would be stuck between. Every ride slowly eroding away the thin barrier holding back a nervous breakdown.
He suddenly wondered if he called to the heavens and begged for a meteor to come and end this singular existence of misery, would anyone answer? No, probably not, he shook his head. He could never be that lucky or significant.
The air in the train swirled and a rushing roar erupted from the far end of the car. Panicked screams rang out and a blinding flash caused Daniel to shield his face.
The floor rumbled and the wind grew to a gale. The roar increased in volume as did the terrified screams. The racoon chanced a glance toward the source and pondered for that fraction of a second if he had gone insane.
A churning void shimmered at the other end of the car. Brilliant lightning lashed out of it, and passengers were being pulled into the infinite depth. He felt an invisible force tug at him and he instinctively clutched at the handhold.
Within the blink of an eye, the cheetah next to him was pulled off her feet and into the void. The construction worker stumbled and followed next. The other passengers not already holding onto something were pulled in as well.
Daniel closed his eyes against all the screaming, the pull on his body increasing. He concentrated all his will at gripping the handhold. His fingers strained as the pull increased and he cried out in fear.
“Please,” he whimpered, “I don’t want to die.”
He suddenly felt a hand shake his shoulder. The deafening roar was silent and the air calm. He timidly opened his eyes to a middle aged badger gripping his shoulder.
“Hey buddy, you okay? Don’t you usually get off at this stop?”
“Huh, stop?” Daniel looked around confused, and only then noticed his phone buzzing in the breast pocket of his navy blazer. Recognition washed over him as his eyes saw the marquee. “Oh, my stop!”
Daniel fumbled with his briefcase and managed to scoot past the automatic doors before they whumped together. He shouted to the badger on the other sid, “Thanks, I owe you one.” The badger smiled and gave a thumbs up as the passenger car rolled away.
The phone continued buzzing and Daniel fished it out of his pocket. The screen said, “Aubrey.” His finger pad swiped the code to unlock the phone and he answered.
“Aubrey?”
“Hey Danny, just wanted to check when you were getting home? I was thinking pasta, but I can do something else if you’re not feeling-”
“Let’s go out tonight,” Daniel interrupted, “I think we need a break from the routine.”
“Oh, okay,” Aubrey replied, her voice gaining energy, “what did you have in mind?”
“Someplace that has music and dancing. And I think you should wear that nice blue dress, the one that accentuates your tail. I just got off the train, I should be home in ten minutes.”
“That sounds lovely. I’ll get ready,” she said. “Why the sudden change, is everything okay?”
“Just had a weird commute, that’s all,” he said. “I’ll tell you about it over dinner. Love you.”
“See you soon, Danny. Love you, too,” she replied.
Well, dang. I did not realize it's been almost exactly 6 months since I last wrote a prompt.
This one was not quite ready last week, so I finished it up for this week. I needed some practice writing story intros...and after I wrote the intro to this, it turned into a story.
This one was not quite ready last week, so I finished it up for this week. I needed some practice writing story intros...and after I wrote the intro to this, it turned into a story.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
Listed in Folders
I like this one. Fun stuff. Good purpose. and glad to see you writing again.
Thanks! I have been writing, I just haven't been posting anything since it's work on the larger stuff. It's in that fluid stage where things change a lot.
This was a good read, the wake up into reality and getting that clarity right after. I've had moments like these before myself.
The worst bad dreams are always the ones where you’re falling down, drifting away, or getting pulled into something. When you’re stuck in a monotonous routine, I can get how someone might feel similarly in the waking world.
It's great to see a new story from you. I enjoyed this one a lot. It made me think of the song by The Roches, "The Train".
Once you step on you might never get off of the commuter train
Doesn't go very far away, but just the same
It's a trip and a half
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG5fUlecZms
Once you step on you might never get off of the commuter train
Doesn't go very far away, but just the same
It's a trip and a half
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG5fUlecZms
Thanks!
Heh interesting, I've never heard this song or heard of this band.
The song in my head when I was working on this one was "Every Day is Exactly the Same" by NIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEdzyFJLRbc
Heh interesting, I've never heard this song or heard of this band.
The song in my head when I was working on this one was "Every Day is Exactly the Same" by NIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEdzyFJLRbc
I've been a fan of The Roches since I discovered them at my college radio station back in 1979. The band is made up of three sisters. Their harmonies are amazing and their songs often have quirky lyrics.
Thanks for the NIN link. I admit that I've heard of them, but was totally unfamiliar with their music. That song is pretty darned good.
Thanks for the NIN link. I admit that I've heard of them, but was totally unfamiliar with their music. That song is pretty darned good.
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