So I learned something about myself today.
8 years ago
Namely? I can NOT give myself an injection. Because an injection means needles. And needles are bad. But I didn't know this for SURE, since today was the day that I was going to swap from oral estrogen to injection which works a hell of a lot better. So! I go to the doc's office, all my tests are normal and fine and everybody is happy. No big deal. So the nurse comes in to give me my 'training' and in the training session I have this needle in my paws and I'm all like 'aw, it's so cute. It's like an inch long and thin as hell so I can TOTALLY do this." So we flip our little bottles over and pull the stuff out of it, grab .25 of a CC [whatver the hell a CC is] of what I presume is Vitamin B12 since they don't have estrogen there. "Oh, this is water." She tells me. "The estradiol is actually a LOT thicker and a lot more oily so we'll need to use a bigger needle."
O_o.. Bigger.. Okay.
So out comes the REAL needle. Which by comparison is nowhere near as cute. 2 inches. A hell of a lot more round. So my first question, naturally- "How deep does this thing have to... Go?" I'm starting to feel a little woozy because Yes. I've had shots before. I've gotten a fucking tattoo before. But I don't WATCH the needle poking the skin. "About half way.
O_O.
Starting to get more than a little nervous here. Okay, so I inform her I'm ready to give it a go, I have an area on my arm all picked out- "Oh no, nonono. We can't use your arm. It has to be your thigh or your hip. Your call."
;.;.
So pants off, she shows me how to find a muscle on my thigh, hands me the ready to go, big girl needle that's all decked out with the cool little guard thing that'll make my life easier when I do it.. With a trembling paw I ready myself..start to shake-.."Okay, no. I can't do this." She asks me if I'd like her to do it just so I know what the needle feels like. "Sure..Yea.. Let's do that." "Okay, but you have to WATCH."
;.; part 2.
So. She proceeds to pinch the muscle, she jams the needle in, and I jump. All of .5 seconds I'm thinking "Okay, I can handle this..' but to make sure they hit the MUSCLE and not a VEIN you're supposed to pull the plunger back a little bit. If blood appears? You hit a vain. if no blood? You're golden. Well. I don't know how many of you have ever had air pulled out of a muscle before but it's the weirdest feeling.. and guess what? My muscle clenched. Hard. Grabbing the needle and hugging it like a bitch in heat hugs a knot. Oh and my leg jerked. Pushing another quarter of that damn needle into me. Hurt. Like. HELL.
So after all is said and done I'm shaking, rubbing my leg, nearly crying... Thank god Netsuye was there >.> From now on he's my needle monkey. I can't do this to myself.. at least not yet. x.x
TL:DR - NEEDLES FUCKING SUCK
O_o.. Bigger.. Okay.
So out comes the REAL needle. Which by comparison is nowhere near as cute. 2 inches. A hell of a lot more round. So my first question, naturally- "How deep does this thing have to... Go?" I'm starting to feel a little woozy because Yes. I've had shots before. I've gotten a fucking tattoo before. But I don't WATCH the needle poking the skin. "About half way.
O_O.
Starting to get more than a little nervous here. Okay, so I inform her I'm ready to give it a go, I have an area on my arm all picked out- "Oh no, nonono. We can't use your arm. It has to be your thigh or your hip. Your call."
;.;.
So pants off, she shows me how to find a muscle on my thigh, hands me the ready to go, big girl needle that's all decked out with the cool little guard thing that'll make my life easier when I do it.. With a trembling paw I ready myself..start to shake-.."Okay, no. I can't do this." She asks me if I'd like her to do it just so I know what the needle feels like. "Sure..Yea.. Let's do that." "Okay, but you have to WATCH."
;.; part 2.
So. She proceeds to pinch the muscle, she jams the needle in, and I jump. All of .5 seconds I'm thinking "Okay, I can handle this..' but to make sure they hit the MUSCLE and not a VEIN you're supposed to pull the plunger back a little bit. If blood appears? You hit a vain. if no blood? You're golden. Well. I don't know how many of you have ever had air pulled out of a muscle before but it's the weirdest feeling.. and guess what? My muscle clenched. Hard. Grabbing the needle and hugging it like a bitch in heat hugs a knot. Oh and my leg jerked. Pushing another quarter of that damn needle into me. Hurt. Like. HELL.
So after all is said and done I'm shaking, rubbing my leg, nearly crying... Thank god Netsuye was there >.> From now on he's my needle monkey. I can't do this to myself.. at least not yet. x.x
TL:DR - NEEDLES FUCKING SUCK
*Sobs into your shoulder*
There's no 'beauty' in this, just a body that looks right when I look in the mirror >.>
Gosh you big girl.
Hush you -.-
Teehee~ You love my smack talk~
You'll pay for it later.
*hugs tightly*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4NkPRd5j3w