The Next Chapter
5 years ago
I don't post life updates much but I think this one is important.
A few years ago I tried to live up to my childhood dream of being a police officer, but I was unsuccessful for a number of reasons. Officially I was let go for "not progressing fast enough" and I was not given an opportunity to retrain. I blame myself for most of it. After that is was a dark place for a long time. I felt like a bad caricature of a better man, the punch line of a bad joke. I tried for 2 years to get back into the police force. Interview after interview always led to the same point; "sorry but you have not been selected, another more qualified candidate has gotten the position, feel free to apply again." I just felt so burnt out on all the wasted time and energy. I figure that mark of being fired made it impossible to get rehired by another police agency. I bounced around from job to job trying to find any purpose I did medical transport then security, but neither were really satisfying. When I was working my dead end job in security I started to study on my own and try and learn some IT skills. Thankfully a few months later, with some help from a good friend I was picked up by an IT company and I have been working there for the past few months now.
I have not felt this way in a while. Like I have some purpose now. I am looking forward to advancing my career and seeing where it takes me. The important thing to me was instead of dwelling on the past and trying to cling on to the identity of what I was trying so hard to be, learn from my mistakes and move on. A part of me will always wonder how things would have turned out if I were still a police officer, but I cant dwell on my mistakes. I will still support the police but I have no delusions about that chapter being over in my life.
I am looking forward to a new year with new opportunities. Thank you to all my friends and family who gave me the will to keep fighting and to keep moving forward; One day at a time.
A few years ago I tried to live up to my childhood dream of being a police officer, but I was unsuccessful for a number of reasons. Officially I was let go for "not progressing fast enough" and I was not given an opportunity to retrain. I blame myself for most of it. After that is was a dark place for a long time. I felt like a bad caricature of a better man, the punch line of a bad joke. I tried for 2 years to get back into the police force. Interview after interview always led to the same point; "sorry but you have not been selected, another more qualified candidate has gotten the position, feel free to apply again." I just felt so burnt out on all the wasted time and energy. I figure that mark of being fired made it impossible to get rehired by another police agency. I bounced around from job to job trying to find any purpose I did medical transport then security, but neither were really satisfying. When I was working my dead end job in security I started to study on my own and try and learn some IT skills. Thankfully a few months later, with some help from a good friend I was picked up by an IT company and I have been working there for the past few months now.
I have not felt this way in a while. Like I have some purpose now. I am looking forward to advancing my career and seeing where it takes me. The important thing to me was instead of dwelling on the past and trying to cling on to the identity of what I was trying so hard to be, learn from my mistakes and move on. A part of me will always wonder how things would have turned out if I were still a police officer, but I cant dwell on my mistakes. I will still support the police but I have no delusions about that chapter being over in my life.
I am looking forward to a new year with new opportunities. Thank you to all my friends and family who gave me the will to keep fighting and to keep moving forward; One day at a time.
I know you have absolutely no idea who I am but I also had a similar story, although I didn’t progress anywhere as far as you did. You see after college I bounced from an initial not-so-well-thought-out plan to sell insurance policies. It was boring and I felt like a sleaze each day. Thus I thought about going for something I had also dreamed about, albeit vaguely. I saw the state police agency where I was from was hiring and applied. I went through two hiring cycles before I was accepted (along with many applications to plenty of other agencies over 1.5 years). I was pretty stoked at that point and felt that I had finally found the unity of goodness in a job: A) something that can pay the bills, B) something that you enjoy, and C) something that you are decent at.
Alas, one week into the state patrol academy and I knew I wasn’t state trooper material, not by a long shot. I felt I was a burden on my fellow recruits and a potential liability. But most of all I let the intense para-military environment freak me out. The Friday of my first week in the academy I voluntarily withdrew and washed out. I hit a very low point in my life in the following months, so I certainly know the feeling you went through. My father had suggested law school shortly after college but I had dismissed the idea because I didn’t want to have tons of debt and to be stuck in a job I hated. Well, feeling like you’re a failure has a funny way of making you re-evaluate your options. Figured that if I wasn’t tough enough to be a LEO the next best thing I could be was a prosecutor in court.
I crammed for the LSAT the following month and took that sucker (just over 4 years ago now!) and got a good enough score to get into my local law school. Fast forward 3 years of mostly enjoyable studying and now I’m an attorney … a criminal defense attorney of all things. A public defender even!
Do I regret pursuing the state trooper thing? Nah, not really. Because now that I tried it, I feel secure that I know what the hiring process is like and I have an enormous respect for LEOs, and state troopers in particular. I learned a lot from the process and it helped me grow a lot as a person.
Life takes us on interesting journeys. I am glad to see your days are brighter and I hope that life rewards you handsomely in your new career.
Some of the best people we read about in the history books are no strangers to major failures and setbacks in their times.
Peace!
if u have telegram pm me.. stryker624