Might be time to end the CYOA comms (for now)
Posted 3 months agoFirst of, big big big BIG thank you to everyone who's supported this silly little idea. The amount of positive feedback has honestly been amazing and it's really helped out my self confidence <3 if there's any one here who's interested in starting their own CYOA commissions, I highly reccomend it. The experience has definitely been more positive than not.
Unfortunately, like the title suggests, it might be time to slow down on them for the forseeable future.
The thing is, with these stories, I'm more or less focused mainly on getting words pumped out as quickly as possible, on top of trying to quickly figure out scenarios and ideas. A lot of the time, my commissioners end up picking the option I least expect or plan out for. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact it's fun trying to change gears and delve into a new possability, perhaps even shelving the one I had planned for a future choice. But it does trip me up, and I feel bad when I have to pause abruptly to plan out how to continue.
My biggest fear by far is that my writing is getting stale. Some of these sentences, I feel like I'm just an A.I spewing out generated crap, not really a writer weaving a tapestry of the imagination. I'm afraid I'm gonna end up developing bad habits that will make my writing worse, like I'll end up getting careless.
Another problem is that at the moment, I'm just getting burnt out. I accepted several stories to do at once, and I'll end up bouncing around them one after the other, trying to accomplish as much as I can. I used to upload a story every month, maybe every two months, but now I'm writing thousands of words a day, spread out. That's not to mention the 25k word CYOA I wrote that the commissioner and I agreed to not upload to FA. I don't have a clue how artists make art full time. I'm struggling so hard to what I'm writing actually fresh and not go insane at staring at a white screen (well, I have an extension that makes the google docs paper black) for hours and hours at a time.
Lastly, today's the day I end up back on my antidepressants after being off of them for about 3 months. It doesn't sound relevant, but, uh, well, antidepressants lower libido by quite a bit. Might be hard to properly get in the right mood, I suppose. Might play a factor, right?
Again, thank you everyone for being super awesome and patient and generous and all around amazing supportive friends. I genuinely do enjoy this style of commission a lot. Many of you know I'm an avid RPer, and this feels like myself doing a RP with myself, in a sense, and getting paid for it! Once I'm fully caught up and finish these CYOA's, I might open them up one at a time to have a single person to focus on, instead of trying to do multiple peoples' at once.
Thank you again for being understand <3 you guys
Unfortunately, like the title suggests, it might be time to slow down on them for the forseeable future.
The thing is, with these stories, I'm more or less focused mainly on getting words pumped out as quickly as possible, on top of trying to quickly figure out scenarios and ideas. A lot of the time, my commissioners end up picking the option I least expect or plan out for. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact it's fun trying to change gears and delve into a new possability, perhaps even shelving the one I had planned for a future choice. But it does trip me up, and I feel bad when I have to pause abruptly to plan out how to continue.
My biggest fear by far is that my writing is getting stale. Some of these sentences, I feel like I'm just an A.I spewing out generated crap, not really a writer weaving a tapestry of the imagination. I'm afraid I'm gonna end up developing bad habits that will make my writing worse, like I'll end up getting careless.
Another problem is that at the moment, I'm just getting burnt out. I accepted several stories to do at once, and I'll end up bouncing around them one after the other, trying to accomplish as much as I can. I used to upload a story every month, maybe every two months, but now I'm writing thousands of words a day, spread out. That's not to mention the 25k word CYOA I wrote that the commissioner and I agreed to not upload to FA. I don't have a clue how artists make art full time. I'm struggling so hard to what I'm writing actually fresh and not go insane at staring at a white screen (well, I have an extension that makes the google docs paper black) for hours and hours at a time.
Lastly, today's the day I end up back on my antidepressants after being off of them for about 3 months. It doesn't sound relevant, but, uh, well, antidepressants lower libido by quite a bit. Might be hard to properly get in the right mood, I suppose. Might play a factor, right?
Again, thank you everyone for being super awesome and patient and generous and all around amazing supportive friends. I genuinely do enjoy this style of commission a lot. Many of you know I'm an avid RPer, and this feels like myself doing a RP with myself, in a sense, and getting paid for it! Once I'm fully caught up and finish these CYOA's, I might open them up one at a time to have a single person to focus on, instead of trying to do multiple peoples' at once.
Thank you again for being understand <3 you guys
CYOA streams: Yay or nay?
Posted 4 months agoLike, I take a day to stream a story I'm making up as I go, and the audience gets to decide what happens next when I put in the decision trees. Maybe I'll auction or just sell out the story to anyone watching as a YCH deal
Probably a fun way to spend next weekend high before I start my new job lol
Would anyone be interested?
Probably a fun way to spend next weekend high before I start my new job lol
Would anyone be interested?
Overthinking about making a fat fur roguelike
Posted 4 months agoSo, I love Enter the Gungeon and Binding of Isaac (well, 'loved' Isaac. Still obsessed with ETG tho!) I'll play em for hours and hours, even if there's nothing new to unlock, just because I love seeing the new and crazy synergies I can find all on my own. I'm honestly tempted to make my own youtube channel just so I can do nothing but upload hour-long challenge runs of ETG for anyone who wants to watch.
SO yeah, I wanna make a similar game, but, uh, fat themed.
The motivation is there. The temptation is there. When I made the idle game, I love just sitting there and slowly working on the game bit by bit, feeling the progress slowly come together. It was fun finding new tricks I never thought of before, and I know with Unity I'll be learning and finding new things for years and years to come lol.
So, the downsides.
The reason I never really published the fat fur idler is because I'm really not happy with how it looks? Chiin did a fantastic job with the sprite work and he deserves so much praise for it, but I never found someone for the background, food items, etc. It's all stock images and whatever I can legally put in the game for free, and it clashes so hard. It's also a huge mess programming wise. Fix one bug, three more pop out. If I ever decide to go back on it, I'll definitely need to make it from the ground up. I was still learning Unity back then and there's a lot of spaghetti code. I'm a lot better now I think, but... yeah.
Who knows if I can even make this one good either? It'll be a learning experience, sure, but if it ends up like that last game... then what? Who am I begging for art assets from this time? How do I repay them? More importantly, is it even a good idea to make it a fat fur game? I love our weirdass lil community and love seeing when big art projects get everyone talking about them, and I've always wanted to include myself in that in some way, but if I'm doing this for money then I doubt I'll make enough to pay the artists that way. The funnier option is if I made my own art (actual own art, not A.I art) but, pffft, good luck getting people to enjoy looking at that crap.
Another thing: a ETG roguelike would take a lot longer than an idle clicker, and the clicker took me months to make. Am I really making the best use of my time and effort that I could be using for things like getting a better job? It's uncomfortable to think about, and I don't want to be invested months into this project and suddenly think I should be doing something else.
So that's where I'm at right now. Overthinking, overanxious... yeah :/
Also, sorry the CYOA have been coming slowly. They're a lot of fun, but I bit off more than I can chew. I need to work on them one at a time I think, because it's hard being clever and spontaneous after working and being tired lol.
SO yeah, I wanna make a similar game, but, uh, fat themed.
The motivation is there. The temptation is there. When I made the idle game, I love just sitting there and slowly working on the game bit by bit, feeling the progress slowly come together. It was fun finding new tricks I never thought of before, and I know with Unity I'll be learning and finding new things for years and years to come lol.
So, the downsides.
The reason I never really published the fat fur idler is because I'm really not happy with how it looks? Chiin did a fantastic job with the sprite work and he deserves so much praise for it, but I never found someone for the background, food items, etc. It's all stock images and whatever I can legally put in the game for free, and it clashes so hard. It's also a huge mess programming wise. Fix one bug, three more pop out. If I ever decide to go back on it, I'll definitely need to make it from the ground up. I was still learning Unity back then and there's a lot of spaghetti code. I'm a lot better now I think, but... yeah.
Who knows if I can even make this one good either? It'll be a learning experience, sure, but if it ends up like that last game... then what? Who am I begging for art assets from this time? How do I repay them? More importantly, is it even a good idea to make it a fat fur game? I love our weirdass lil community and love seeing when big art projects get everyone talking about them, and I've always wanted to include myself in that in some way, but if I'm doing this for money then I doubt I'll make enough to pay the artists that way. The funnier option is if I made my own art (actual own art, not A.I art) but, pffft, good luck getting people to enjoy looking at that crap.
Another thing: a ETG roguelike would take a lot longer than an idle clicker, and the clicker took me months to make. Am I really making the best use of my time and effort that I could be using for things like getting a better job? It's uncomfortable to think about, and I don't want to be invested months into this project and suddenly think I should be doing something else.
So that's where I'm at right now. Overthinking, overanxious... yeah :/
Also, sorry the CYOA have been coming slowly. They're a lot of fun, but I bit off more than I can chew. I need to work on them one at a time I think, because it's hard being clever and spontaneous after working and being tired lol.
Update on the Choose Your Own Adventure commissions!
Posted 5 months agoHowdy!
I'm about to upload a part of a commission I just did with a client. I have to say, first impressions, this has been a ton of fun! I've never felt more relaxed to just type away like this before. Like, thousands upon thousands of words for hours at end kind of energy here! It feels incredible to just dump off all these words and to get feedback on this; even more so it's just fun thinking up of wild scenarios on the spot and having to quickly think of something else when a different branch is picked! I'm hoping to keep these open for a while yet, because I've genuinely been enjoying myself <3
Now, time for a quick lil Q n A section for anyone on the fence still.
Q:How much will it cost?
A: I'm gonna stick to my usual $12 per 1k words for now, but I might adjust down the line based on feedback and what I think is fair.
Q: What quality can I expect?
A: These will be similar to the Speedwrite (SW) stories I've uploaded in terms of quality, pacing, consistency, etc. I'm not planning out each story and revising it again and again, after all, I'm making up the plot as I go and only combing for grammar issues and the like.
Q: Can I return to an earlier point in the story and pick a different decision?
A: Absolutely! My only request is that when you do so, we wrap up this particular branch in the story with a satisfying conclusion. Bouncing around constantly may get a bit confusing for me, heh.
Q: Are you gonna try railroading the story to satisfy your personal kinks?
A: I mean, maybe? I'll do my best to avoid it, although some decisions that pop up may be based on what I like in particular. To make things easier, feel free to list your own personal big turn ons and I'll make sure there are several paths that explore those particular kinks in one form or another. Remember: it doesn't matter if the path you pick is obviously a fat-themed one or not. By the end, I WILL get you fat ;3
Q: Do you have a word limit?
A: Not at all! We may end up with tens of thousands of words on our hands, haha.
I think that's everything so far. Feel free to ask any more questions below and I'll gladly get to them <3
I'm about to upload a part of a commission I just did with a client. I have to say, first impressions, this has been a ton of fun! I've never felt more relaxed to just type away like this before. Like, thousands upon thousands of words for hours at end kind of energy here! It feels incredible to just dump off all these words and to get feedback on this; even more so it's just fun thinking up of wild scenarios on the spot and having to quickly think of something else when a different branch is picked! I'm hoping to keep these open for a while yet, because I've genuinely been enjoying myself <3
Now, time for a quick lil Q n A section for anyone on the fence still.
Q:How much will it cost?
A: I'm gonna stick to my usual $12 per 1k words for now, but I might adjust down the line based on feedback and what I think is fair.
Q: What quality can I expect?
A: These will be similar to the Speedwrite (SW) stories I've uploaded in terms of quality, pacing, consistency, etc. I'm not planning out each story and revising it again and again, after all, I'm making up the plot as I go and only combing for grammar issues and the like.
Q: Can I return to an earlier point in the story and pick a different decision?
A: Absolutely! My only request is that when you do so, we wrap up this particular branch in the story with a satisfying conclusion. Bouncing around constantly may get a bit confusing for me, heh.
Q: Are you gonna try railroading the story to satisfy your personal kinks?
A: I mean, maybe? I'll do my best to avoid it, although some decisions that pop up may be based on what I like in particular. To make things easier, feel free to list your own personal big turn ons and I'll make sure there are several paths that explore those particular kinks in one form or another. Remember: it doesn't matter if the path you pick is obviously a fat-themed one or not. By the end, I WILL get you fat ;3
Q: Do you have a word limit?
A: Not at all! We may end up with tens of thousands of words on our hands, haha.
I think that's everything so far. Feel free to ask any more questions below and I'll gladly get to them <3
A new kind of commission!
Posted 5 months agoHeyo
So, writing is hard. My biggest fear when writing is that I don't know if the commissioner will like it or not, especially if I don't know them too well. Asking them to watch while I stream seems too much, and I don't want to write at a glacial pace and constantly ask for feedback, like "is this ok? is this good?" And yeah, admittedly I've been preferring RPs due to the constant, easily accessable feedback, and the confidence in knowing I'm producing something someone else likes.
Soooooo why not make that a commission?
No no, I'm not asking to be paid for a RP... kinda. Do you know about those really old RPG games for the computer back in the 80's? The kind without an interface or anything, there's just text discribing what you see and what you're doing, and you respond with what you want your character to do next? Yeah, it's basically that!
The idea is that I "DM" a bunch of setting and lore and junk. Make a big world for you to get invested in, the characters you encounter, etc. A normal story, essentially, except how your character reacts to any certain circumstance is completely up to you. You choose how you want to respond to someone, how you want to react to certain events, and that will determine how I continue with the story!
For example, say we're in a fantasy-like setting, and your character is a travelor who just arrived at a village that someone claims is being attacked by a pack of werewolves. I may end the post with "It was a long day, and you could use the rest. However, what Denya said about the werewolf sightings nearby made you morbidly curious, enough to at least consider sneaking out for a peak yourself." It'd be up to you then if you want to take the plunge into dangerous, sexy, possibly fattening werewolf situation, or if you want to take things slower.
Or, let's fast forward a bit; you've been captured by these werewolves, and they're having fun stuffing you to make you into a very filling snack. "The alpha cackles as he crams another pastry into your muzzle, another item stolen from the town's bakery. With each bite you're forced to eat, you feel your bonds tighten significantly around your middle; a round, bulbous middle which has the attentions of every other werewolf you see, their glowing yellow eyes staring hungerly at it, waiting for you to burst through the restraints. Alas, you're not as keen as they are, for the moment the ropes come flying off your body, you'll know it's dinner time."
If you respond shyly and meakly, they could laugh at how adorable you're being. Or hell, maybe if you stop resisting and start eagerly eating what they feed, they'll become curious as to just how much it'll take to stuff you full and keep the feeding going a little longer? (Yes I have hot werewolves on the mind a lot shut it >.>)
I'm not sure how the pricing will work, perhaps I'll start with $5 per 800-ish word post of mine. The first one or two "commissions" will be cheaper, although as I'm writing this, I just realized another fun aspect is that there's no definite 'end' to these stories. The commissioner could just keep the same story going further and further, heh.
Let me know what you think, and if you have any questions <3
So, writing is hard. My biggest fear when writing is that I don't know if the commissioner will like it or not, especially if I don't know them too well. Asking them to watch while I stream seems too much, and I don't want to write at a glacial pace and constantly ask for feedback, like "is this ok? is this good?" And yeah, admittedly I've been preferring RPs due to the constant, easily accessable feedback, and the confidence in knowing I'm producing something someone else likes.
Soooooo why not make that a commission?
No no, I'm not asking to be paid for a RP... kinda. Do you know about those really old RPG games for the computer back in the 80's? The kind without an interface or anything, there's just text discribing what you see and what you're doing, and you respond with what you want your character to do next? Yeah, it's basically that!
The idea is that I "DM" a bunch of setting and lore and junk. Make a big world for you to get invested in, the characters you encounter, etc. A normal story, essentially, except how your character reacts to any certain circumstance is completely up to you. You choose how you want to respond to someone, how you want to react to certain events, and that will determine how I continue with the story!
For example, say we're in a fantasy-like setting, and your character is a travelor who just arrived at a village that someone claims is being attacked by a pack of werewolves. I may end the post with "It was a long day, and you could use the rest. However, what Denya said about the werewolf sightings nearby made you morbidly curious, enough to at least consider sneaking out for a peak yourself." It'd be up to you then if you want to take the plunge into dangerous, sexy, possibly fattening werewolf situation, or if you want to take things slower.
Or, let's fast forward a bit; you've been captured by these werewolves, and they're having fun stuffing you to make you into a very filling snack. "The alpha cackles as he crams another pastry into your muzzle, another item stolen from the town's bakery. With each bite you're forced to eat, you feel your bonds tighten significantly around your middle; a round, bulbous middle which has the attentions of every other werewolf you see, their glowing yellow eyes staring hungerly at it, waiting for you to burst through the restraints. Alas, you're not as keen as they are, for the moment the ropes come flying off your body, you'll know it's dinner time."
If you respond shyly and meakly, they could laugh at how adorable you're being. Or hell, maybe if you stop resisting and start eagerly eating what they feed, they'll become curious as to just how much it'll take to stuff you full and keep the feeding going a little longer? (Yes I have hot werewolves on the mind a lot shut it >.>)
I'm not sure how the pricing will work, perhaps I'll start with $5 per 800-ish word post of mine. The first one or two "commissions" will be cheaper, although as I'm writing this, I just realized another fun aspect is that there's no definite 'end' to these stories. The commissioner could just keep the same story going further and further, heh.
Let me know what you think, and if you have any questions <3
I should write something big again
Posted 8 months agoMaybe not right away, cuz I've been feeling pretty sick lately. Don't do yardwork in 100 degree weather folks!
But yeah, I've been giving the writing thing more thought. I've come to the conclusion that I like writing the really long stories with character development and the like. I like taking the time to think about how characters would react to different situations (with those situations being tubbified, ofcourse) and finding solutions on how to cope with being large, whether they hate it at first but come to enjoy the benefits of being plus sized, or those who absolutely love it but wonder if they deserve all the nice things that happen to him.
Problem is, those stories require a lot of time and effort to write, and I'm always anxious about whether or not it'll be received well. I understand most people tune in to the fat stories for the, well, fat, and adding too much character nonsense kinda detracts from it.
I do like writing the short stories too! The ones without a convoluted plot and what not, just silly shenanigans involving tons of weight gain. I'm always down to write them, but they don't feel like a *me* story, I guess. Maybe I'm too paranoid on feeling unique.
Either way, that Revali story was fun! It was a very quickly written story, since I wanted to be on time for one of those fat fur flavor of the months for once, but I don't think it turned out too bad. Alas, I haven't really given much thought on how I want the story to progress; I have an idea for an end (involving Kass :3) but how I get there will be a mystery. Shall he use the Shiekah Slate to teleport around Hyrule right away, or should we get some scenes of him slowly regretting the motion of even attempting to walk in the first place. Maybe he visits a stable and makes an attempt at horse riding, being unable to lift a fat leg around a horse. What if Gut Check Rock from Death Mountain meant something completely different when he arrives there? Someone mentioned an idea of a chubby Sidon, and I feel like that'd be incredibly fitting as he would obviously be super enthusiastic at just about anything, including eating contests.
I also wanna work on Weight Staff sometime. I know it's been sometime, but it's still a story series I'm super passionate about. I'm just nervous to work on it for the reasons stated above. Maybe sometime in the future, when I'm more confident in myself as both a writer and as a person I'll give the next chapter another go.
:3
But yeah, I've been giving the writing thing more thought. I've come to the conclusion that I like writing the really long stories with character development and the like. I like taking the time to think about how characters would react to different situations (with those situations being tubbified, ofcourse) and finding solutions on how to cope with being large, whether they hate it at first but come to enjoy the benefits of being plus sized, or those who absolutely love it but wonder if they deserve all the nice things that happen to him.
Problem is, those stories require a lot of time and effort to write, and I'm always anxious about whether or not it'll be received well. I understand most people tune in to the fat stories for the, well, fat, and adding too much character nonsense kinda detracts from it.
I do like writing the short stories too! The ones without a convoluted plot and what not, just silly shenanigans involving tons of weight gain. I'm always down to write them, but they don't feel like a *me* story, I guess. Maybe I'm too paranoid on feeling unique.
Either way, that Revali story was fun! It was a very quickly written story, since I wanted to be on time for one of those fat fur flavor of the months for once, but I don't think it turned out too bad. Alas, I haven't really given much thought on how I want the story to progress; I have an idea for an end (involving Kass :3) but how I get there will be a mystery. Shall he use the Shiekah Slate to teleport around Hyrule right away, or should we get some scenes of him slowly regretting the motion of even attempting to walk in the first place. Maybe he visits a stable and makes an attempt at horse riding, being unable to lift a fat leg around a horse. What if Gut Check Rock from Death Mountain meant something completely different when he arrives there? Someone mentioned an idea of a chubby Sidon, and I feel like that'd be incredibly fitting as he would obviously be super enthusiastic at just about anything, including eating contests.
I also wanna work on Weight Staff sometime. I know it's been sometime, but it's still a story series I'm super passionate about. I'm just nervous to work on it for the reasons stated above. Maybe sometime in the future, when I'm more confident in myself as both a writer and as a person I'll give the next chapter another go.
:3
So about that last journal
Posted 9 months agoIt was overly long and dramatic and tbh I'm really embarassed about it so I deleted it :x
The long and short of it is I edited some stories to not include minors, and if anyone knows of any other stories I've written involving minors in fetish situations to please let me know so I can edit them out.
Please and thank you <3
The long and short of it is I edited some stories to not include minors, and if anyone knows of any other stories I've written involving minors in fetish situations to please let me know so I can edit them out.
Please and thank you <3
Opening Commissions and YCHs now
Posted 10 months agoTL;DR: Opening Coms. I'm not a fan of the "X dollars for Y amount of words" idea, because sometimes I get "inspired" and I tend to write way more than what was commissioned, and other times I'm struggling to meet the word count. I want to try something different where the commissioner hits me with an idea, then tells me whether they want a longer story, a shorter one, or no preference, then after I outline the story in my head I give them a quote.
At the moment though, I'd rather focus on shorter stories that I can write in a day, for like $20-ish dollars. That last one was a doozey, and while I'm really proud of it, I kinda need a break from long prose xp HOWEVER, I'm always down to talk ideas for long stories, and I may or may not give it a try.
Another idea I had: tips for sequels to stories! I know I have a lot of series I've never really continued, and I've always been, like, on the verge of continuing them or not. This would give me the incentive and push I need to actually continue, and possibly finish them, haha.
So, feel free to donate any amount of $ with a note saying which story you'd like continued. Once I hit a threshold, such as if someone pays 60% of the goal and someone else 40%, I'll continue it, or write a sequel. If you pay for 100% of the goal, I'll find a way to include your character in it as well~
$50 for another chapter in a series, as long as it doesn't star an OC (R.U.N, etc)
$100 for a sequel to a stand alone story, as long as it wasn't commissioned.
For tips, I accept FA shinies, ko-fi and uh that's it for now!
Let me know what you think <3
At the moment though, I'd rather focus on shorter stories that I can write in a day, for like $20-ish dollars. That last one was a doozey, and while I'm really proud of it, I kinda need a break from long prose xp HOWEVER, I'm always down to talk ideas for long stories, and I may or may not give it a try.
Another idea I had: tips for sequels to stories! I know I have a lot of series I've never really continued, and I've always been, like, on the verge of continuing them or not. This would give me the incentive and push I need to actually continue, and possibly finish them, haha.
So, feel free to donate any amount of $ with a note saying which story you'd like continued. Once I hit a threshold, such as if someone pays 60% of the goal and someone else 40%, I'll continue it, or write a sequel. If you pay for 100% of the goal, I'll find a way to include your character in it as well~
$50 for another chapter in a series, as long as it doesn't star an OC (R.U.N, etc)
$100 for a sequel to a stand alone story, as long as it wasn't commissioned.
For tips, I accept FA shinies, ko-fi and uh that's it for now!
Let me know what you think <3
lol. lmao.
Posted a year agoIt's fun to laugh at a situation you have no control of lmao.
Really I don't get why they just don't add a feature to blacklist certain words from searches and the like. I know there used to be a chrome extension that did that but I don't think it works anymore. It can't be that hard to implement, right?
What sucks most about this is I just got new ref sheets of Denya in kitsune and dragon form. Problem is kitsune form is barely 4 feet tall, so... and their "clarifications" don't exactly clarify on what adult proportions should look like lmao.
The rules are so stupid. "No sexual depictions of minors," that's all you need to say. None of this crap about not allowing drawings of certain species, while also allowing freaking teen pregnancy, like what?! Are they justifying their own kinks?
See, it's funny lmao.
I'm not going anywhere cuz, like, there's not many other platforms to put my writing on. I kinda built up a following here and I don't want to just suddenly abandon it :/
I am working on a big fun story though. No minors or short characters though don't worry lmao
Really I don't get why they just don't add a feature to blacklist certain words from searches and the like. I know there used to be a chrome extension that did that but I don't think it works anymore. It can't be that hard to implement, right?
What sucks most about this is I just got new ref sheets of Denya in kitsune and dragon form. Problem is kitsune form is barely 4 feet tall, so... and their "clarifications" don't exactly clarify on what adult proportions should look like lmao.
The rules are so stupid. "No sexual depictions of minors," that's all you need to say. None of this crap about not allowing drawings of certain species, while also allowing freaking teen pregnancy, like what?! Are they justifying their own kinks?
See, it's funny lmao.
I'm not going anywhere cuz, like, there's not many other platforms to put my writing on. I kinda built up a following here and I don't want to just suddenly abandon it :/
I am working on a big fun story though. No minors or short characters though don't worry lmao
Sorry for lack of content
Posted a year agoI've been in a bit of a funk ever since graduating college, in the sense that it feels like it's impossible to find a job.
To rant a bit, college was really hard for me. I've almost dropped out numerous times, both from bad grades and from stress. It was just hair-pulling agonizing, but what got me through was the mental promise I made myself that after I graduate, I can get a good high paying job and finally start with my independence.
I've applied to like... a job a day since I've graduated starting in january or so, and yeah I've only gotten two interviews. One was for a job I didn't even apply for and they were interested in my Bachelor's degree (it was a weird manager position that wasn't at all what I went to school for), and the other was basically slave labor to take advantage of people looking for IT jobs that offered no long term goals and very little pay. No room to grow and what not.
I'm not in desperate need for a job or anything, I'm just... really disappointed that all of that stress and hard work I applied in college so far isn't amounting to anything. I've heard horror stories about how bad the job market is but this is just beyond anything I could have ever anticipated. It sucks. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks, and I lose motivation every day.
I've got a story or two in the works though, so hopefully I can put stuff out again. Hopefully things get better.
To rant a bit, college was really hard for me. I've almost dropped out numerous times, both from bad grades and from stress. It was just hair-pulling agonizing, but what got me through was the mental promise I made myself that after I graduate, I can get a good high paying job and finally start with my independence.
I've applied to like... a job a day since I've graduated starting in january or so, and yeah I've only gotten two interviews. One was for a job I didn't even apply for and they were interested in my Bachelor's degree (it was a weird manager position that wasn't at all what I went to school for), and the other was basically slave labor to take advantage of people looking for IT jobs that offered no long term goals and very little pay. No room to grow and what not.
I'm not in desperate need for a job or anything, I'm just... really disappointed that all of that stress and hard work I applied in college so far isn't amounting to anything. I've heard horror stories about how bad the job market is but this is just beyond anything I could have ever anticipated. It sucks. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks, and I lose motivation every day.
I've got a story or two in the works though, so hopefully I can put stuff out again. Hopefully things get better.
Slowing down on the art dump
Posted a year agoI realized it's kinda counterproductive to post other people's drawings when I'm trying to get commissions n' stuff lol oops
Art dump?
Posted a year agoFor a while I've just been posting stories to this account, but I've actually gotten quite a few commissioned drawings lately. Didn't know if anyone would mind if I posted them, or if I just kept this a writing account.
Also today is my birthday :3
Also today is my birthday :3
Updated profile banner
Posted a year agoWhat a fantastic feature lmao
Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Earthblood review
Posted a year agoYes it's time for that one fat fur writer to make an unprompted review on something no one asked for XD
I have lots of strong opinions for this game! If you told 12 year me (who was going through a very edgy werewolf phase) that there would be a videogame where you got to play as a werewolf who slaughtered polluting corporations, I would have gone to heaven right on the spot. Seriously, this game gets a 10/10 out of conception alone (I know it's based off of a TTRPG, but being able to experience a setting in that world as single player experience is great, because I don't know anyone who runs a W:TA campaign lmao).
Spoilers will only be discussed in the Story section. If you wished to avoid having it spoiled, simply skip over it. Just know that I didn't find the story too interesting or investing, but more just a means to get Cahal from place to place.
TL;DW: It's fun. Simple, and occasionally repetitive fun, but fun nonetheless. Make sure to watch gameplay before buying to make sure it's for you, and/or get it on sale. I don't regret the $17 I spent on it at all.
Combat: The main focus of the game gameplay wise, where you're wound up in an open arena-like area after getting caught in stealth (or the game just feels like you need to fight). Cahal controls pretty well in my opinion, with snappy and responsive controls and movement. The combo system is fun to mess with, but I end up just using the same two combos again and again, depending on whether I'm in Agile Stance or Heavy Stance.
I do love how both stances feel incredibly different, both in how Cahal attacks but also how he moves, alongside changing his ability list. I was afraid that at Hard difficulty, I would stay stuck in Agile Stance just to use hit and run tactics against clumps of foes, as there is no block or parry feature in game. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Heavy Stance, despite the big wind up of attacks, was viable in many situations, sometimes even more so than Agile stance. Even many of the abilities, which consume your Rage meter to active (which you build up from landing attacks and combos) are all fun to play with and useful in certain scenarios: How many enemies are there? How clumped up are they? Are they strong or canon fodder? You're constantly asking yourself questions like that while in battle so you can pull out the most effective strategy to tear the enemies into bloody ribbons, which makes the combat successful in my opinion.
Stealth: Another mechanic that I was pleasantly surprised with how engaging it was. For one, it's always optional; you're free to press the funny werewolf transformation button whenever you want to send debris scattering and scare the poop out of everyone nearby as they scramble to draw firearms. However, combats alone don't reward you with anything; no skill points or collectables, and as such you're free to simply bypass entire rooms, or attempt to kill most the enemies inside.
I say most, because for whatever reason, there's no way of killing the beeeg enemies from behind. The ones jacked on up science fiction drugs and the mechs, to be more precise. In Wolfenstein 2, you could sabotage a mech's fuelline if you got behind it, letting you shoot the spilling gasoline to inflict massive damage and set off a big bomb, but there's nothing like that for the large enemies. Even headshotting them with your equipped crossbow does next to nothing, only triggering the fight. Speaking of, the crossbow is something I almost never used, as it felt extremely unreliable and weak, almost not worth using at all unless you spend the skillpoints to unlock bolts that disable electrical appliances like cameras or turrets. But even then, it's not too hard to sneak into computer terminals and just disable them before a fight happens, so even then they're redundant at best, and a trap gimmick at worst.
However, that's where my complaints end, as being able to turn into a feral wolf completely saves the stealth mechanic. Being able to run around as a wolf, leaping and hiding by barricades and sneaking through vents undetected is a genuine joy. I would play a game entirely devoted to this mechanic if it was fleshed out more. I also love how silent take downs aren't delegated to attacking from behind; you can leap out in front of someone, startle them, and then take them down from the front before they have time to call for help. I feel like it's a big missed opportunity to have that specific takedown animation be the wolf form leaping up to rip out the guard's neck, but oh well. You even get to sabotage gateways, making reinforcements spawn much weaker for if/when you're caught and have to fight, and as we all know, being a big hulking werewolf is much more fun when you're shredding everything to pieces~
Other gameplay features: Well, there's exploration, I suppose. You can find crossbow bolts for your weapon (you can only carry 3 of the damn things lmao), flasks of booze to build your rage meter before the next boss fight, and hidden spirits which increase your xp and grant skill points. Between missions, you can run around and talk to NPCs, although no one has anything interesting to say as the game takes itself far too seriously for its own good. You can receive side quests from a few certain NPCs that mainly having you running around a big expansive area and (in my case) looking up a guide to locate the mcguffins needed, but it's just a way to pad out the game time, since the xp gain from completing them is insignificant, and there's no story change regardless. Granted, it is fun to run around this big environments in wolf form, leaping onto cliffs and the like.
The skill tree is decent, nothing too interesting but still exciting to complete. I remember feeling relieved at unlocking talents to make Heavy stance take less damage, and Agile stance generate more Rage to heal myself with, as I was playing the game on Hard mode. The upgrades are impactful and noticeable, but not quite game breaking. Just don't upgrade the crossbow.
There are times when you share dialogue with npcs who don't know you're a werewolf, as you're trying to infiltrate or steal information. At any time, and I mean at ANY time, you can shift and immedietly start combat, and my god it is the funniest freaking thing ever. I want to replay the game, just to record all the hilarious timings to suddenly go "RAWWWWR!" mid sentence, haha. These dialogue navigations are also all completely optional, as the "RAWR" button is always available to press, but it is fun trying to find the correct options and seeing what happens next. It makes you feel so smug as you chat with them and let them invite you deeper into your hideout, like "yeah, this guy has no idea I could transform and paint the walls red with his body in literally half a second whenever I feel like it." It's fantastic.
Presentation: This doesn't feel like a next gen game by any means (I played on PS5 version). However, it is a nice looking game still; the environments are pretty, the art direction is nice. The music is mostly subdued, but they play a LOT of metal during big werewolf fights and it's pretty funny. Sadly I've been spoiled by Sonic Frontiers so it feels a little lacking, but still. Metal werewolf fights.
WEREWOLF FIGHTS! YOU'RE A FREAKING WEREWOLF, AND HE LOOKS AMAZING! He looks so freaking badass and intimidating; whether he's bounding around in agile stance or taking big steppies in heavy mode, the way he just looms over everyone is AWESOME! And god, the finisher moves, ripping off someone's head either with your teeth or claws, or just slamming them into the ground and spewing blood everywhere. Or how he leaps half the length of a football field to maul a sniper. Even emerging into "rawr" mode is freaking epic; just blowing away the cover you used just a minute ago like it's cardboard. God, everything involving the werewolf is just super cool, and it's easily the reason why I'm in such a huge werewolf kick atm. I gotta write about a big bellied werewolf bf who proteccs me and carries me in those big strong arms uwu
The other animations aren't quite as polished. There's plenty of noticeable clipping in general, but I notice when characters are standing around having dialogue, they tend to randomly just flail their arms. They weren't rigged right or something, like this feels like a late PS2 game. And while the outdoor environments look great, the indoor locations all look generic and similar, as though they could all be in the same building. It'd be very easy to get lost if it weren't for the quest marker.
Story Easily the weakest aspect of this game, which is disappointing considering this was based off of a TTRPG. I did some research, and W:tA is pretty damn lore heavy, so it feels as though they extrapolated only the barebones information to tell a story. Basically, werewolves are servants of Gaia who are all about preserving nature, and are in a constant war against the forces of the Wyrm, which seeks to destroy by corrupting weak-minded individuals and what not.
There aren't many characters, and even less memorable ones. They all act fairly similar, considering everyone is so damn serious all the time, their individual personalities get next to no time to shine. Not that it matters, because they all freaking die by the end anyways. Yes, even Cahal's daughter, who you spend 60+% of the freaking game chasing around trying to rescue. Real kick in the stomach that was, especially because there's pretty much no one else left at this point. Even more ridiculous is how after that, you still have to pick one of two endings: chasing after the bastard who killed your daughter or go back to save what little people are left from dying themselves. Doesn't matter which ending you get, it's the same outcome, the same 40 second long cutscene with just slightly different dialogue. I've never been so pissed to see a 100% in my save select screen in my goddamn life.
Doesn't help that the voice acting is also incredibly flat and lifeless, some of the worst I've heard in a video game as well, as if the actors just could not be bothered to give a damn. Or they had no direction or context as to what was happening and decided to speak generically to make up for it. But, yeah, plot really wasn't too interesting, and not much really mattered in the end, just chasing after bad guys who took your daughter, only for it to just not matter at the end. I wouldn't say it ruined the game for me, but it definitely sucked the joy I had of finishing this game.
Overall: Your mileage will vary. If you're like me who obsesses over big handsome werewolves being badasses and looking awesome while doing it, with plenty of interesting stealth and fighting to go along with it, then this game will do you well. Otherwise, I'd stay clear, as if you're not interested in the above stated, you will get bored rather quickly. Either way, I recommend getting the game when it's on sale, and just skipping through most of the dialogue so you can ignore the boring story and even flatter performances.
I have lots of strong opinions for this game! If you told 12 year me (who was going through a very edgy werewolf phase) that there would be a videogame where you got to play as a werewolf who slaughtered polluting corporations, I would have gone to heaven right on the spot. Seriously, this game gets a 10/10 out of conception alone (I know it's based off of a TTRPG, but being able to experience a setting in that world as single player experience is great, because I don't know anyone who runs a W:TA campaign lmao).
Spoilers will only be discussed in the Story section. If you wished to avoid having it spoiled, simply skip over it. Just know that I didn't find the story too interesting or investing, but more just a means to get Cahal from place to place.
TL;DW: It's fun. Simple, and occasionally repetitive fun, but fun nonetheless. Make sure to watch gameplay before buying to make sure it's for you, and/or get it on sale. I don't regret the $17 I spent on it at all.
Combat: The main focus of the game gameplay wise, where you're wound up in an open arena-like area after getting caught in stealth (or the game just feels like you need to fight). Cahal controls pretty well in my opinion, with snappy and responsive controls and movement. The combo system is fun to mess with, but I end up just using the same two combos again and again, depending on whether I'm in Agile Stance or Heavy Stance.
I do love how both stances feel incredibly different, both in how Cahal attacks but also how he moves, alongside changing his ability list. I was afraid that at Hard difficulty, I would stay stuck in Agile Stance just to use hit and run tactics against clumps of foes, as there is no block or parry feature in game. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Heavy Stance, despite the big wind up of attacks, was viable in many situations, sometimes even more so than Agile stance. Even many of the abilities, which consume your Rage meter to active (which you build up from landing attacks and combos) are all fun to play with and useful in certain scenarios: How many enemies are there? How clumped up are they? Are they strong or canon fodder? You're constantly asking yourself questions like that while in battle so you can pull out the most effective strategy to tear the enemies into bloody ribbons, which makes the combat successful in my opinion.
Stealth: Another mechanic that I was pleasantly surprised with how engaging it was. For one, it's always optional; you're free to press the funny werewolf transformation button whenever you want to send debris scattering and scare the poop out of everyone nearby as they scramble to draw firearms. However, combats alone don't reward you with anything; no skill points or collectables, and as such you're free to simply bypass entire rooms, or attempt to kill most the enemies inside.
I say most, because for whatever reason, there's no way of killing the beeeg enemies from behind. The ones jacked on up science fiction drugs and the mechs, to be more precise. In Wolfenstein 2, you could sabotage a mech's fuelline if you got behind it, letting you shoot the spilling gasoline to inflict massive damage and set off a big bomb, but there's nothing like that for the large enemies. Even headshotting them with your equipped crossbow does next to nothing, only triggering the fight. Speaking of, the crossbow is something I almost never used, as it felt extremely unreliable and weak, almost not worth using at all unless you spend the skillpoints to unlock bolts that disable electrical appliances like cameras or turrets. But even then, it's not too hard to sneak into computer terminals and just disable them before a fight happens, so even then they're redundant at best, and a trap gimmick at worst.
However, that's where my complaints end, as being able to turn into a feral wolf completely saves the stealth mechanic. Being able to run around as a wolf, leaping and hiding by barricades and sneaking through vents undetected is a genuine joy. I would play a game entirely devoted to this mechanic if it was fleshed out more. I also love how silent take downs aren't delegated to attacking from behind; you can leap out in front of someone, startle them, and then take them down from the front before they have time to call for help. I feel like it's a big missed opportunity to have that specific takedown animation be the wolf form leaping up to rip out the guard's neck, but oh well. You even get to sabotage gateways, making reinforcements spawn much weaker for if/when you're caught and have to fight, and as we all know, being a big hulking werewolf is much more fun when you're shredding everything to pieces~
Other gameplay features: Well, there's exploration, I suppose. You can find crossbow bolts for your weapon (you can only carry 3 of the damn things lmao), flasks of booze to build your rage meter before the next boss fight, and hidden spirits which increase your xp and grant skill points. Between missions, you can run around and talk to NPCs, although no one has anything interesting to say as the game takes itself far too seriously for its own good. You can receive side quests from a few certain NPCs that mainly having you running around a big expansive area and (in my case) looking up a guide to locate the mcguffins needed, but it's just a way to pad out the game time, since the xp gain from completing them is insignificant, and there's no story change regardless. Granted, it is fun to run around this big environments in wolf form, leaping onto cliffs and the like.
The skill tree is decent, nothing too interesting but still exciting to complete. I remember feeling relieved at unlocking talents to make Heavy stance take less damage, and Agile stance generate more Rage to heal myself with, as I was playing the game on Hard mode. The upgrades are impactful and noticeable, but not quite game breaking. Just don't upgrade the crossbow.
There are times when you share dialogue with npcs who don't know you're a werewolf, as you're trying to infiltrate or steal information. At any time, and I mean at ANY time, you can shift and immedietly start combat, and my god it is the funniest freaking thing ever. I want to replay the game, just to record all the hilarious timings to suddenly go "RAWWWWR!" mid sentence, haha. These dialogue navigations are also all completely optional, as the "RAWR" button is always available to press, but it is fun trying to find the correct options and seeing what happens next. It makes you feel so smug as you chat with them and let them invite you deeper into your hideout, like "yeah, this guy has no idea I could transform and paint the walls red with his body in literally half a second whenever I feel like it." It's fantastic.
Presentation: This doesn't feel like a next gen game by any means (I played on PS5 version). However, it is a nice looking game still; the environments are pretty, the art direction is nice. The music is mostly subdued, but they play a LOT of metal during big werewolf fights and it's pretty funny. Sadly I've been spoiled by Sonic Frontiers so it feels a little lacking, but still. Metal werewolf fights.
WEREWOLF FIGHTS! YOU'RE A FREAKING WEREWOLF, AND HE LOOKS AMAZING! He looks so freaking badass and intimidating; whether he's bounding around in agile stance or taking big steppies in heavy mode, the way he just looms over everyone is AWESOME! And god, the finisher moves, ripping off someone's head either with your teeth or claws, or just slamming them into the ground and spewing blood everywhere. Or how he leaps half the length of a football field to maul a sniper. Even emerging into "rawr" mode is freaking epic; just blowing away the cover you used just a minute ago like it's cardboard. God, everything involving the werewolf is just super cool, and it's easily the reason why I'm in such a huge werewolf kick atm. I gotta write about a big bellied werewolf bf who proteccs me and carries me in those big strong arms uwu
The other animations aren't quite as polished. There's plenty of noticeable clipping in general, but I notice when characters are standing around having dialogue, they tend to randomly just flail their arms. They weren't rigged right or something, like this feels like a late PS2 game. And while the outdoor environments look great, the indoor locations all look generic and similar, as though they could all be in the same building. It'd be very easy to get lost if it weren't for the quest marker.
Story Easily the weakest aspect of this game, which is disappointing considering this was based off of a TTRPG. I did some research, and W:tA is pretty damn lore heavy, so it feels as though they extrapolated only the barebones information to tell a story. Basically, werewolves are servants of Gaia who are all about preserving nature, and are in a constant war against the forces of the Wyrm, which seeks to destroy by corrupting weak-minded individuals and what not.
There aren't many characters, and even less memorable ones. They all act fairly similar, considering everyone is so damn serious all the time, their individual personalities get next to no time to shine. Not that it matters, because they all freaking die by the end anyways. Yes, even Cahal's daughter, who you spend 60+% of the freaking game chasing around trying to rescue. Real kick in the stomach that was, especially because there's pretty much no one else left at this point. Even more ridiculous is how after that, you still have to pick one of two endings: chasing after the bastard who killed your daughter or go back to save what little people are left from dying themselves. Doesn't matter which ending you get, it's the same outcome, the same 40 second long cutscene with just slightly different dialogue. I've never been so pissed to see a 100% in my save select screen in my goddamn life.
Doesn't help that the voice acting is also incredibly flat and lifeless, some of the worst I've heard in a video game as well, as if the actors just could not be bothered to give a damn. Or they had no direction or context as to what was happening and decided to speak generically to make up for it. But, yeah, plot really wasn't too interesting, and not much really mattered in the end, just chasing after bad guys who took your daughter, only for it to just not matter at the end. I wouldn't say it ruined the game for me, but it definitely sucked the joy I had of finishing this game.
Overall: Your mileage will vary. If you're like me who obsesses over big handsome werewolves being badasses and looking awesome while doing it, with plenty of interesting stealth and fighting to go along with it, then this game will do you well. Otherwise, I'd stay clear, as if you're not interested in the above stated, you will get bored rather quickly. Either way, I recommend getting the game when it's on sale, and just skipping through most of the dialogue so you can ignore the boring story and even flatter performances.
A question regarding commissions
Posted a year agoSay you were to commission me a short story about touring the factory and somehow accidently gaining an immense amount of weight in the process. Would you be happy with a story similar to Workplace Incidents (my most recent story) if you paid around $35 dollars for it?
I'm trying to get my groove back in writing, but I'm struggling to find it. Something I think that could help me focus would be adding more pressure onto me to write, which would be either asking talented artists/writers to trade, or opening up for more commissions like that recent one. Alas, I feel like I'm still very inconsistent with my writing, but uh, I could definitely match that quality for future short commission stories if anyone was interested
I'm trying to get my groove back in writing, but I'm struggling to find it. Something I think that could help me focus would be adding more pressure onto me to write, which would be either asking talented artists/writers to trade, or opening up for more commissions like that recent one. Alas, I feel like I'm still very inconsistent with my writing, but uh, I could definitely match that quality for future short commission stories if anyone was interested
About the Fat Fur game (and future stuff)
Posted a year agoI guess for all intents and purposes the game is just about done. Just gotta squash a couple bugs and tidy up the character changing mechanic a bit and it's ready to go.
I just can't really bring myself to finish it :x
At first I thought it was burnout, and it very much still could be. After all, I've failed quite a few IT classes, and this WAS the very last class I needed to pass to get my degree. I basically self taught myself everything I learned about Unity and C# using Youtube tutorials and what not, and somehow I managed to stitch together a game that's gotten good enough grades that I'm 100% going to pass the class. It *does* feel good, but the constant days of stressing over why certain things weren't just working, searching for solutions everywhere I could, and at one point losing about a month's worth of progress was just...ugh. I have nothing but the upmost respect for programmers, because this shit is HARD.
That or I'm just lazy lmao.
The other reason I'm too afraid to finish it is just...well, after I do what I said above, the next step is sending it to friends for testing. And in a way I can't bring myself to do that, since it'd hurt my pride that my game isn't what I wanted it to be. I originally intended it to be very similar to Clicker Heroes, but the finished project feels like a cheap knock off. It doesn't feel engaging to me in the slightest, and I don't know how to fix that. I can't help but compare it to other talented fat fur games that have come out recently, or literally anything from the Weight Gaming forums. I don't care if this is my first game, my first showing needs something better than...this.
Maybe I'll feel better when I actually get some original art for the game. If you don't know, fattoid has done INCREDIBLE character art and animations for the game, and you should really check him out. I was soooo excited when I got his animations working in my game. BUt outside of that, I'm struggling to get other art in. My boyfriend said he'd have every piece of art of the game done by the deadline (early December) but so far he's only shown me a few proof of concepts, not 50+ food animations, 6+ backgrounds, UI art assets, menus, etc. I don't want to rush him, as he's been busy with work, but yeah at the same time I'm a tad bit upset that my main source of art is, uh, not too reliable lmao.
It shouldn't matter, since I'm being graded on the programming and not the art.
I think after th e class is done and I do finish this game, I'm gonna try remaking it from the ground up into something closer to how I originally planned on making it. Include all the silly and fun features, hire a few artists, give it enough content and make it incredibly addicting. I might scratch the Clicker Heroes inspiration and try Cookie Clicker instead, since that's also a very popular idler.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. This is a fun way for me to organize my thoughts and make me feel a bit better.
TLDR: TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PURCHASED ONE OF fattoid ANIMATION SLOTS, the game is still being worked on, but will be delayed unfortunately, since original art assets have been a little slow. Once Chiin's first batch of character animations are finished, or until I get enough assets to make a demo, I'll release a lil demo for you to test out and play with.
I just can't really bring myself to finish it :x
At first I thought it was burnout, and it very much still could be. After all, I've failed quite a few IT classes, and this WAS the very last class I needed to pass to get my degree. I basically self taught myself everything I learned about Unity and C# using Youtube tutorials and what not, and somehow I managed to stitch together a game that's gotten good enough grades that I'm 100% going to pass the class. It *does* feel good, but the constant days of stressing over why certain things weren't just working, searching for solutions everywhere I could, and at one point losing about a month's worth of progress was just...ugh. I have nothing but the upmost respect for programmers, because this shit is HARD.
That or I'm just lazy lmao.
The other reason I'm too afraid to finish it is just...well, after I do what I said above, the next step is sending it to friends for testing. And in a way I can't bring myself to do that, since it'd hurt my pride that my game isn't what I wanted it to be. I originally intended it to be very similar to Clicker Heroes, but the finished project feels like a cheap knock off. It doesn't feel engaging to me in the slightest, and I don't know how to fix that. I can't help but compare it to other talented fat fur games that have come out recently, or literally anything from the Weight Gaming forums. I don't care if this is my first game, my first showing needs something better than...this.
Maybe I'll feel better when I actually get some original art for the game. If you don't know, fattoid has done INCREDIBLE character art and animations for the game, and you should really check him out. I was soooo excited when I got his animations working in my game. BUt outside of that, I'm struggling to get other art in. My boyfriend said he'd have every piece of art of the game done by the deadline (early December) but so far he's only shown me a few proof of concepts, not 50+ food animations, 6+ backgrounds, UI art assets, menus, etc. I don't want to rush him, as he's been busy with work, but yeah at the same time I'm a tad bit upset that my main source of art is, uh, not too reliable lmao.
It shouldn't matter, since I'm being graded on the programming and not the art.
I think after th e class is done and I do finish this game, I'm gonna try remaking it from the ground up into something closer to how I originally planned on making it. Include all the silly and fun features, hire a few artists, give it enough content and make it incredibly addicting. I might scratch the Clicker Heroes inspiration and try Cookie Clicker instead, since that's also a very popular idler.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. This is a fun way for me to organize my thoughts and make me feel a bit better.
TLDR: TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PURCHASED ONE OF fattoid ANIMATION SLOTS, the game is still being worked on, but will be delayed unfortunately, since original art assets have been a little slow. Once Chiin's first batch of character animations are finished, or until I get enough assets to make a demo, I'll release a lil demo for you to test out and play with.
PWYW writing stream.
Posted a year agoI miss writing
Posted a year agoI feel kinda bad too, cuz my last few stories did pretty well, and I felt like I'd gotten better at being able to write consistently well. Fat fur idler is taking up all my creative energy, and my rage
I'm thinking about a pwyw writing stream sometime just to see if I've still got it if anyone's interested. Game's finishing up nicely and I'm getting crazy burnout lmao.
I'm thinking about a pwyw writing stream sometime just to see if I've still got it if anyone's interested. Game's finishing up nicely and I'm getting crazy burnout lmao.
I had a dream I wanna make into a fat fur story.
Posted a year agoYes this is my literal dream journal so I can remember it, shut up.
But yeah, I had an amazing idea for a long slow-burn of a story involving gradual weight gain and the like, and it started out as a dream I was flying around on the Iron Giant, lol. But yeah, filtering out the weird stuff that happened, let me write out the dream I had in a way that can be seen as a premise for a decent fat fur story.
I lived in a family of nobility. For some unknown reason (perhaps a political attack, an extended vacation, or a large scandal), all of us had to relocate from our nice house to a building incredibly far away, in a high atop the snow-capped mountains, practically within the clouds themselves. Myself, being a spoiled son of a noble, was not too keen with this big change. The change in environment was extremely sudden, I had to live as a commoner with no one to recognize my status as noble, etc. So to help make the transition feel more smoothly, my mom gave me money to make a purchase of my choice.
At a Banshee store.
For those of you who don't know, Banshees are the flying dragon-like creatures from Avatar. Of course, in my dream, they were basically just small (as in only one person can fly on them at once) four-eyed dragons. Considering we lived in the mountains, it was common for folk to use Banshees to get from place to place, as many of the roads don't really support grounded travel. Our family had a much larger Banshee just for that reason.
But this was MY Banshee! I got to fly around the mountains on my own free time! I got to own a cute four-eyed dragon. Not only that, but even if we were hiding our nobility, we weren't hiding our wealth; I got to go to a store that makes genetically enhanced Banshees! That's how our family got ahold of a massive boi who was strong enough to carry many heavy things.
At the store, I noticed there were a few interesting choices. There was even a choice for a Banshee that could inflate itself to turn into a hot hair balloon...which, I mean, was already an awesome idea and tempting. But no, I purchased a banshee, who was genetically modified to get as FAAAAAT as possible!
I remember reading over a pamphlet they gave me, telling me to feeding him twice as much as a normal Banshee and to allow big naps after every meal, as well as using food as a motivator to get him off his lazy ass to fly me around. I think I named him Sammy or something, which was the name of a lab I had in my childhood. Sammy definitely had a bit of an attitude too; he needed cookies in order to get him to actually fly me around, and was very shy and timid around other Banshees (he needed his own cave away from the large family Banshee for that reason, as the large Banshee kept picking on Sammy).
Oh, right, besides our house, our wealthy asses hired guys to make CAVES for our Banshees, instead of large fenced off patches of yard like most people who owned Banshees did. We did live in a large home within a mountain, after all.
Anyways, Sammy was lazy and a coward, but he was a good boy. Purple scales, with light pink markings along his limbs and hide that looked like crescent moons (or stretch marks), he'd press his face against the underside of my arm when he wanted scritches, or more treats. For a while, I'd forgotten he was genetically bread to get as fat as possible and just enjoyed flying around with him. I mean, spoiled noble or not, flying through a beautiful mountain side is an incredible once in a lifetime experience!
However, around our third or fourth flight, the Banshee was having trouble flying back up from town back home, needing to take a break to stop. He was definitely getting a tummy for sure; I noticed my legs were spread out further when riding along his back, which in of itself was a bit more cushy than I remembered. I felt bad for the fat lazy boi, so I went back to the Banshee store to ask if he's happy getting fatter. The lady who worked there assured Sammy the Banshee is more than happy to laze around and eat, as long as he's also getting love and attention, which absolutely fitted Sammy's personality. I asked how fat I was allowed to make Sammy, and the Banshee store owner said I could make him completely immobile if I wanted, although she wasn't sure if anything after that was exactly viable, since that was a LOT of Banshee to take care of!
But I didn't care! If Sammy wanted to be a big, fat, lazy dragon boi, I'd make him one! I started feeding him twice as much as even the pamphlet said I should, and spent most of my free time just lazing against him and rubbing that big squishy tum! I remember having to lie to my family about why I wasn't flying with Sammy anymore, or why I was buying so much raw meat, etc.
Then I woke up...
Yeah, that dream was AWESOME! I rarely ever get dreams that detailed and in depth, and admittedly I did make up a fair bit to even out the story a bit, but I did remember our family having a second banshee for everyone else, I remember seeing banshees that inflated and were meant to be fat, and getting a fat banshee, and asking the seller how fat i can get my banshee, etc etc. It was suuuuuch a cool dream, and I'm really tempted to just start working on a new series set in this universe about a spoiled kid who gets an equally spoiled banshee pet, ends up adoring the dragon and learns to be more selfless as he starts devoting his time to feeding and pampering the fatty boi, while also including a sub plot about why this noble family has to move out into the frozen tundra mountains.
Let me know what you guys think! ^^
But yeah, I had an amazing idea for a long slow-burn of a story involving gradual weight gain and the like, and it started out as a dream I was flying around on the Iron Giant, lol. But yeah, filtering out the weird stuff that happened, let me write out the dream I had in a way that can be seen as a premise for a decent fat fur story.
I lived in a family of nobility. For some unknown reason (perhaps a political attack, an extended vacation, or a large scandal), all of us had to relocate from our nice house to a building incredibly far away, in a high atop the snow-capped mountains, practically within the clouds themselves. Myself, being a spoiled son of a noble, was not too keen with this big change. The change in environment was extremely sudden, I had to live as a commoner with no one to recognize my status as noble, etc. So to help make the transition feel more smoothly, my mom gave me money to make a purchase of my choice.
At a Banshee store.
For those of you who don't know, Banshees are the flying dragon-like creatures from Avatar. Of course, in my dream, they were basically just small (as in only one person can fly on them at once) four-eyed dragons. Considering we lived in the mountains, it was common for folk to use Banshees to get from place to place, as many of the roads don't really support grounded travel. Our family had a much larger Banshee just for that reason.
But this was MY Banshee! I got to fly around the mountains on my own free time! I got to own a cute four-eyed dragon. Not only that, but even if we were hiding our nobility, we weren't hiding our wealth; I got to go to a store that makes genetically enhanced Banshees! That's how our family got ahold of a massive boi who was strong enough to carry many heavy things.
At the store, I noticed there were a few interesting choices. There was even a choice for a Banshee that could inflate itself to turn into a hot hair balloon...which, I mean, was already an awesome idea and tempting. But no, I purchased a banshee, who was genetically modified to get as FAAAAAT as possible!
I remember reading over a pamphlet they gave me, telling me to feeding him twice as much as a normal Banshee and to allow big naps after every meal, as well as using food as a motivator to get him off his lazy ass to fly me around. I think I named him Sammy or something, which was the name of a lab I had in my childhood. Sammy definitely had a bit of an attitude too; he needed cookies in order to get him to actually fly me around, and was very shy and timid around other Banshees (he needed his own cave away from the large family Banshee for that reason, as the large Banshee kept picking on Sammy).
Oh, right, besides our house, our wealthy asses hired guys to make CAVES for our Banshees, instead of large fenced off patches of yard like most people who owned Banshees did. We did live in a large home within a mountain, after all.
Anyways, Sammy was lazy and a coward, but he was a good boy. Purple scales, with light pink markings along his limbs and hide that looked like crescent moons (or stretch marks), he'd press his face against the underside of my arm when he wanted scritches, or more treats. For a while, I'd forgotten he was genetically bread to get as fat as possible and just enjoyed flying around with him. I mean, spoiled noble or not, flying through a beautiful mountain side is an incredible once in a lifetime experience!
However, around our third or fourth flight, the Banshee was having trouble flying back up from town back home, needing to take a break to stop. He was definitely getting a tummy for sure; I noticed my legs were spread out further when riding along his back, which in of itself was a bit more cushy than I remembered. I felt bad for the fat lazy boi, so I went back to the Banshee store to ask if he's happy getting fatter. The lady who worked there assured Sammy the Banshee is more than happy to laze around and eat, as long as he's also getting love and attention, which absolutely fitted Sammy's personality. I asked how fat I was allowed to make Sammy, and the Banshee store owner said I could make him completely immobile if I wanted, although she wasn't sure if anything after that was exactly viable, since that was a LOT of Banshee to take care of!
But I didn't care! If Sammy wanted to be a big, fat, lazy dragon boi, I'd make him one! I started feeding him twice as much as even the pamphlet said I should, and spent most of my free time just lazing against him and rubbing that big squishy tum! I remember having to lie to my family about why I wasn't flying with Sammy anymore, or why I was buying so much raw meat, etc.
Then I woke up...
Yeah, that dream was AWESOME! I rarely ever get dreams that detailed and in depth, and admittedly I did make up a fair bit to even out the story a bit, but I did remember our family having a second banshee for everyone else, I remember seeing banshees that inflated and were meant to be fat, and getting a fat banshee, and asking the seller how fat i can get my banshee, etc etc. It was suuuuuch a cool dream, and I'm really tempted to just start working on a new series set in this universe about a spoiled kid who gets an equally spoiled banshee pet, ends up adoring the dragon and learns to be more selfless as he starts devoting his time to feeding and pampering the fatty boi, while also including a sub plot about why this noble family has to move out into the frozen tundra mountains.
Let me know what you guys think! ^^
My review of JoJo's Parts 1-6
Posted a year agoI dunno, I haven't written anything creative or fun in a while, since most of my energy has been focused on this game. I would love to write a story again, but I'm a bit tapped out of ideas and what not, heh. Maybe when the inspiration and energy come back, I'll do a quick one off or somethin'.
But yeah, here's just my thoughts on Jojo's. Boyfriend is a huuuuuge fan of the series and I knew very little about it, so I decided to read the manga these past couple months. I am a big fan of shonen in general, particularly series like Naruto where characters defeat each other using their brains as well as brawn, so it sounded like I'd really enjoy this series. Did I? Well...
Phantom Blood: I think Part 1 is just alright. Not amazing, not terrible. I think the reason I've heard many people call it boring is because the pacing is a little slow and the stakes never get too high, and while I do agree to some extent, I never found it that bad. I LOVE the art style, I like Johnathan and Speedwagon a lot, although I thought Dio wasn't that good of a villain. A bit hard to understand why he's basically just a giant asshole, heh. Still, having main characters periodically dying off is a super ballsy move, especially when in most Shonen many characters feels practically immortal. That alone made Part 1 engaging and interesting, as I didn't know when anyone could die. Even more impressive is how old Part 1 is!
Battle Tendency: A HUGE improvement in every way. The characters, villains, pacing, stakes, everything is vastly superior in Part 2. I love Joseph's design and personality, he's a riot and extremely entertaining, which is great for the main character.Also I may or may not have a crush on Kars because I love his hair so much shut up. Hamon was introduced in part 1 but it's used far more practically in part 2. The creativity of it's applications were far more interesting, plus I loved the little training sequence in the middle. I love training sequences shut up. A bit strange that a nazi general was a good guy, but eh, it's a Bizarre adventure, right? The ending was a tad bit outlandish, I mean Joseph absolutely 100% should have died from that fall, but other than that, as well as how the story was a bit predictable, it's still a fantastic adventure to follow along with.
Stardust Crusaders: This was supposed to be the big turning point in Jojo's, since Hamon completely falls out in favor of Stands. And while I find Stands to be an interesting power mechanic (if a bit confusing and even contradictory at times) I...don't like Part 3 that much. The battles are fun and interesting, don't get me wrong, but...I feel like that's all Part 3 has going for it. It's just battle after battle, slowly progressing towards Egypt to fight Dio. Yes, the characters are great (except Polnareff, he's a moron), but outside of kakyoin and *maybe* Iggy, no one really develops or grows as a person? It feels less like an actual overarching story and more like a cartoon akin to something like Danny Phantom, with each "episode" being entirely self contained. It's somewhat why I didn't like Season 1 of Avatar compared to the later seasons.
Diamond is Unbreakable: Part 4 is even worse! The idea to have the entire part take place in the main character's hometown is interesting, but the situations these characters go through are, well, really fitting of the Jojo's BIZARRE adventure name! Josuke riding a motorcycle to avoid a stand, having to break it to avoid hitting a child, then fixing it midair before riding off was pretty awesome, I loved it! But outside of that, the issues I had with Part 3 are made even worse. The overarching story is a bit dynamic at least, but there are many "arcs" that just feel like filler. The Italian cooking guy is literally never brought up again after they see him one. It's literally filler, or something bizarre and silly for the sake of being bizarre and silly, and doesn't feel very organic. Heck, a lot of the story feels very relaxed, which is a bit out of place considering there are literal killers hidden within the city that the main characters know about. And don't get me started on Joseph suddenly being unable to use Purple Hermit to find the killer...
Golden Wind: Huuuuge improvement! Parts 3 and 4 left me skeptical, but I LOVED part 5! Yes, it does feel a bit "villain of the week" trope, but it's done in a much more organic and natural way to go along with the plot! Yes, the plot is actually super interesting and dynamic, just like Part 2 was, except it was also much less predictable (well, I had a hunch the boss was gonna be the big bad, I just wasn't sure how it was going to be presented). It was very, very enjoyable still, and I really like the main crew and their abilities (even if Purple Haze is only used once lol). My biggest complain is actually the main Jojo himself. Giorno is just...really boring. I genuinely don't know what his personality trait is. That he loves life? After he kills Doppio, he becomes very uninteresting, especially since he's always coming out on top, he's always figuring out the best strategies, etc. I thought Bucciarati was much more interesting.
Stone Ocean: I stopped reading about halfway through here. I really wanted to like Stone Ocean. I thought the setting and premise were really interesting, and I felt bad for Jolyne's situation and wanted to see her overcome it. But just...the sheer amount of body horror stuff Jojo's has started introducing made me want to stop reading. It's always been a feature in Jojo's, but I mean quite literally every fight is just...disgusting. Even Jolyne's stand is a little cringe inducing, the ability to turn herself into string. With her fighting a dude by ripping his toenail off, all the way up the foot, followed by several people having trees growing inside them until they explode WHILE THEY ARE STILL ALIVE was just...too much. It's just disgusting and makes me want to not read any more.
This was fun <3
But yeah, here's just my thoughts on Jojo's. Boyfriend is a huuuuuge fan of the series and I knew very little about it, so I decided to read the manga these past couple months. I am a big fan of shonen in general, particularly series like Naruto where characters defeat each other using their brains as well as brawn, so it sounded like I'd really enjoy this series. Did I? Well...
Phantom Blood: I think Part 1 is just alright. Not amazing, not terrible. I think the reason I've heard many people call it boring is because the pacing is a little slow and the stakes never get too high, and while I do agree to some extent, I never found it that bad. I LOVE the art style, I like Johnathan and Speedwagon a lot, although I thought Dio wasn't that good of a villain. A bit hard to understand why he's basically just a giant asshole, heh. Still, having main characters periodically dying off is a super ballsy move, especially when in most Shonen many characters feels practically immortal. That alone made Part 1 engaging and interesting, as I didn't know when anyone could die. Even more impressive is how old Part 1 is!
Battle Tendency: A HUGE improvement in every way. The characters, villains, pacing, stakes, everything is vastly superior in Part 2. I love Joseph's design and personality, he's a riot and extremely entertaining, which is great for the main character.
Stardust Crusaders: This was supposed to be the big turning point in Jojo's, since Hamon completely falls out in favor of Stands. And while I find Stands to be an interesting power mechanic (if a bit confusing and even contradictory at times) I...don't like Part 3 that much. The battles are fun and interesting, don't get me wrong, but...I feel like that's all Part 3 has going for it. It's just battle after battle, slowly progressing towards Egypt to fight Dio. Yes, the characters are great (except Polnareff, he's a moron), but outside of kakyoin and *maybe* Iggy, no one really develops or grows as a person? It feels less like an actual overarching story and more like a cartoon akin to something like Danny Phantom, with each "episode" being entirely self contained. It's somewhat why I didn't like Season 1 of Avatar compared to the later seasons.
Diamond is Unbreakable: Part 4 is even worse! The idea to have the entire part take place in the main character's hometown is interesting, but the situations these characters go through are, well, really fitting of the Jojo's BIZARRE adventure name! Josuke riding a motorcycle to avoid a stand, having to break it to avoid hitting a child, then fixing it midair before riding off was pretty awesome, I loved it! But outside of that, the issues I had with Part 3 are made even worse. The overarching story is a bit dynamic at least, but there are many "arcs" that just feel like filler. The Italian cooking guy is literally never brought up again after they see him one. It's literally filler, or something bizarre and silly for the sake of being bizarre and silly, and doesn't feel very organic. Heck, a lot of the story feels very relaxed, which is a bit out of place considering there are literal killers hidden within the city that the main characters know about. And don't get me started on Joseph suddenly being unable to use Purple Hermit to find the killer...
Golden Wind: Huuuuge improvement! Parts 3 and 4 left me skeptical, but I LOVED part 5! Yes, it does feel a bit "villain of the week" trope, but it's done in a much more organic and natural way to go along with the plot! Yes, the plot is actually super interesting and dynamic, just like Part 2 was, except it was also much less predictable (well, I had a hunch the boss was gonna be the big bad, I just wasn't sure how it was going to be presented). It was very, very enjoyable still, and I really like the main crew and their abilities (even if Purple Haze is only used once lol). My biggest complain is actually the main Jojo himself. Giorno is just...really boring. I genuinely don't know what his personality trait is. That he loves life? After he kills Doppio, he becomes very uninteresting, especially since he's always coming out on top, he's always figuring out the best strategies, etc. I thought Bucciarati was much more interesting.
Stone Ocean: I stopped reading about halfway through here. I really wanted to like Stone Ocean. I thought the setting and premise were really interesting, and I felt bad for Jolyne's situation and wanted to see her overcome it. But just...the sheer amount of body horror stuff Jojo's has started introducing made me want to stop reading. It's always been a feature in Jojo's, but I mean quite literally every fight is just...disgusting. Even Jolyne's stand is a little cringe inducing, the ability to turn herself into string. With her fighting a dude by ripping his toenail off, all the way up the foot, followed by several people having trees growing inside them until they explode WHILE THEY ARE STILL ALIVE was just...too much. It's just disgusting and makes me want to not read any more.
This was fun <3
Slower stories next few months, working on fat fur game!
Posted a year agoTitle says it all~
It might be a bit cringe to do my big college project on a fat fur game, but my professor was all for it, and honestly whatever helps me finally freakin' graduate, am I right? lmao
Trying to make a fat fur idle game in the same vein as cookie clicker or clicker heroes, with your character visibly fattening up to correspond with how many calories you have saved up. And yes, you go from skinny to dwarfing entire universes.
Programming is coming along...alright, I guess. I'm not a programmer, this is all new territory. The reason I went with this is to show that I can do multiple functions in the IT world, prove I can adapt to new technologies to match the changing landscape, etc etc. Again teacher was all for it so, yeah. Just gotta get through this class and I'm finally a graduate!
I already have a few friends helping, but if anyone knows any pixel artists who'd be interested in helping, please send them my way! Always more work to do, including backgrounds, art of food, and of course simple animations of a chibi character (roughly the size of my current FA icon) growing huge~
To everyone I owe a story to, I apologize for the delay. I planned on getting the stories done before this class started, but, I dunno, stuff got in the way. I don't like writing when I'm not motivated cuz then the readers can tell I wasn't really in it and it won't be that good. I'll start work on stories around...end of November, if everything goes to plan? If that's not good enough, please reach out to me and we can talk and compromise on what to do next.
Thank you for your patience guys <3
It might be a bit cringe to do my big college project on a fat fur game, but my professor was all for it, and honestly whatever helps me finally freakin' graduate, am I right? lmao
Trying to make a fat fur idle game in the same vein as cookie clicker or clicker heroes, with your character visibly fattening up to correspond with how many calories you have saved up. And yes, you go from skinny to dwarfing entire universes.
Programming is coming along...alright, I guess. I'm not a programmer, this is all new territory. The reason I went with this is to show that I can do multiple functions in the IT world, prove I can adapt to new technologies to match the changing landscape, etc etc. Again teacher was all for it so, yeah. Just gotta get through this class and I'm finally a graduate!
I already have a few friends helping, but if anyone knows any pixel artists who'd be interested in helping, please send them my way! Always more work to do, including backgrounds, art of food, and of course simple animations of a chibi character (roughly the size of my current FA icon) growing huge~
To everyone I owe a story to, I apologize for the delay. I planned on getting the stories done before this class started, but, I dunno, stuff got in the way. I don't like writing when I'm not motivated cuz then the readers can tell I wasn't really in it and it won't be that good. I'll start work on stories around...end of November, if everything goes to plan? If that's not good enough, please reach out to me and we can talk and compromise on what to do next.
Thank you for your patience guys <3
Health issues Pt. 2 + Update
Posted a year agoSo weirdly enough, about 2 days after making that last journal, the heart palpitations pretty much have all but gone away, and I don't know why. I haven't really done anything differently. If anything, I feel like I've been even MORE stressed lately than usual, but yeah the doctors say I'm healthy, just a slightly above average cholesterol level, which is something my mom has as well.
So, I guess it's ok? Or maybe the heart palpitations are a sign that my life is going well, since they don't appear when I'm stressed out lmao.
As for why I'm stressed out, it's because I'm hitting that big transitional period of life where I move on from college and into getting a career. Big, big scary changes about being a big responsible adult and all. My bf's making a salary wage now as a manager of an escape room and I'm super proud of him, but I'm not sure I can match his work ethic or intelligence or skills, etc etc. I suck at tech stuff, I'm literally the prime example of C's get degrees here.
I'm making a fat fur idler as my capstone project, because why not? Boyfriend is even doing all the art for it. I dunno how it's gonna turn out, we'll have to see, but it'll uh be something.
Otherwise, stories are kinda on the back burner. I feel like writing has gotten super hard lately and it's frustrating. I take on a bunch of projects when I'm motivated and excited, I start, I hit a writer's block, and suddenly I'm unable to write a god damn thing. And again with the whole transitional period I mentioned earlier taking place, I'm not sure I can properly sit down and plan out my stories when it feels like I'm being tugged in every direction. I used to drink energy drinks to get hyperfocused on a story and just crank them out, but with my heart being so weird lately, I've been too afraid of taking in any caffeine. Any recommendations on energy supplements that won't destroy my heart? lmao
So, I guess it's ok? Or maybe the heart palpitations are a sign that my life is going well, since they don't appear when I'm stressed out lmao.
As for why I'm stressed out, it's because I'm hitting that big transitional period of life where I move on from college and into getting a career. Big, big scary changes about being a big responsible adult and all. My bf's making a salary wage now as a manager of an escape room and I'm super proud of him, but I'm not sure I can match his work ethic or intelligence or skills, etc etc. I suck at tech stuff, I'm literally the prime example of C's get degrees here.
I'm making a fat fur idler as my capstone project, because why not? Boyfriend is even doing all the art for it. I dunno how it's gonna turn out, we'll have to see, but it'll uh be something.
Otherwise, stories are kinda on the back burner. I feel like writing has gotten super hard lately and it's frustrating. I take on a bunch of projects when I'm motivated and excited, I start, I hit a writer's block, and suddenly I'm unable to write a god damn thing. And again with the whole transitional period I mentioned earlier taking place, I'm not sure I can properly sit down and plan out my stories when it feels like I'm being tugged in every direction. I used to drink energy drinks to get hyperfocused on a story and just crank them out, but with my heart being so weird lately, I've been too afraid of taking in any caffeine. Any recommendations on energy supplements that won't destroy my heart? lmao
Health has not been too good lately
Posted a year agoThis is sorta my apology/vent for why writing has been really slow lately.
I've been having really strong heart palpitations and chest pains lately that last for a very long time, and I don't know why. In the past I've had moments where my heart suddenly went CHA-CHUG and then slowly returned to normal, but for the past weeks, these CHA-CHUG moments have been lasting HOURS. My chest has been aching so much because of it. Hell, the other day I woke up in the middle of the night barely able to breathe with my left fingers numb and tingly. I legit thought I was having a heart attack.
The doctors say my organs are healthy, but it's still stressing me out on why this is happening. One said it's all stress, but I genuinely don't think I've been too stressed lately; that's what the antidepressants are for, right? I'm starting to wonder if I have some intense repressed emotions or something buried and that's what's causing it, and I'm kinda terrified to confront this. I thought I was ok..?
But now this just adds a whole new level of fear to me, because I'm starting to genuinely think that any moment now, I'm gonna just drop dead because of this heart issue I'm having. It's hard to really get into writing when my heart is just pounding in my chest (and not the good kind) and I'm thinking "any moment now it's gonna just stop beating and I'll collapse in this spot."
Kinda gruesome I know, but, uh, yeah. That's why writing has been hard. I'm just passing time right now waiting for bloodwork to come in to make sure it's not high cholesterol or something, and then...I don't know, hire a therapist? I've had really bad experiences with them in the past, I'm not looking forward to any of this...
I've been having really strong heart palpitations and chest pains lately that last for a very long time, and I don't know why. In the past I've had moments where my heart suddenly went CHA-CHUG and then slowly returned to normal, but for the past weeks, these CHA-CHUG moments have been lasting HOURS. My chest has been aching so much because of it. Hell, the other day I woke up in the middle of the night barely able to breathe with my left fingers numb and tingly. I legit thought I was having a heart attack.
The doctors say my organs are healthy, but it's still stressing me out on why this is happening. One said it's all stress, but I genuinely don't think I've been too stressed lately; that's what the antidepressants are for, right? I'm starting to wonder if I have some intense repressed emotions or something buried and that's what's causing it, and I'm kinda terrified to confront this. I thought I was ok..?
But now this just adds a whole new level of fear to me, because I'm starting to genuinely think that any moment now, I'm gonna just drop dead because of this heart issue I'm having. It's hard to really get into writing when my heart is just pounding in my chest (and not the good kind) and I'm thinking "any moment now it's gonna just stop beating and I'll collapse in this spot."
Kinda gruesome I know, but, uh, yeah. That's why writing has been hard. I'm just passing time right now waiting for bloodwork to come in to make sure it's not high cholesterol or something, and then...I don't know, hire a therapist? I've had really bad experiences with them in the past, I'm not looking forward to any of this...
Reminder: Bowser YCH story ends tomorrow!
Posted a year agoPossible Bowser day (8/4) YCH ideas?
Posted a year agoI wanna give writing Bowser another shot. Been wanting to write some big bois lately, and if he's certainly a big boi~
Idea I had would be Bowser hiring a strategist or what have you to help scheme up new ways of kidnapping Peach and ruling the Mushroom Kingdom. That strategist would be the YCH slot, and they would do everything to get the king of koopas as thicc as possible, of course. Perhaps plenty of subterfuge, as this "strategist" really works for the mushroom kingdom, and slowly trick Bowser into developing a lazier, lethargic lifestyle full of fats?
If you want more direct fats, there could be an idea where Bowser willingly recruits you to help him win a sumo contest of sorts. Whoever wins gets...something. Maybe a brand new kart to race in for Mario Kart 9, haha. But yeah, the YCH's role would be to intentionally help bowser get as fat as possible so he can crush (possibly literally) the competition.
The third idea would be, of course, Bowser getting the YCH fat instead haha. Not too sure how that would work though. Maybe the YCH is supposed to disguise as Bowser but they're way too thin, and rather than bulking them up muscle wise, Bowser gets impatient and stuffs them silly to be a big waddling blubberball instead?
I'm not sure if I'd include a romance option for these stories. Maybe as a stretch goal? *shrug*
But yeah, there could be some customization here n' there, to match how the commissioner would want. What do you guys think?
Idea I had would be Bowser hiring a strategist or what have you to help scheme up new ways of kidnapping Peach and ruling the Mushroom Kingdom. That strategist would be the YCH slot, and they would do everything to get the king of koopas as thicc as possible, of course. Perhaps plenty of subterfuge, as this "strategist" really works for the mushroom kingdom, and slowly trick Bowser into developing a lazier, lethargic lifestyle full of fats?
If you want more direct fats, there could be an idea where Bowser willingly recruits you to help him win a sumo contest of sorts. Whoever wins gets...something. Maybe a brand new kart to race in for Mario Kart 9, haha. But yeah, the YCH's role would be to intentionally help bowser get as fat as possible so he can crush (possibly literally) the competition.
The third idea would be, of course, Bowser getting the YCH fat instead haha. Not too sure how that would work though. Maybe the YCH is supposed to disguise as Bowser but they're way too thin, and rather than bulking them up muscle wise, Bowser gets impatient and stuffs them silly to be a big waddling blubberball instead?
I'm not sure if I'd include a romance option for these stories. Maybe as a stretch goal? *shrug*
But yeah, there could be some customization here n' there, to match how the commissioner would want. What do you guys think?