The number got to big
Posted a year agoSo I'm making a new one. Feels weird. Not really entirely sure what to say. A lot of change since I last posted. A lot of ups and a lot of downs. A lot of new life experience. But still here so, y'know.
I've felt pretty disconnected from the community for a while. Not necessarily because I want to be, but just due to a combination of drifting friend circles, poorly maintained relationships, not spending time on personal art and posting / engaging with others, and being all around generally busy and having other priorities. IDK, doesn't necessarily feel great but I find it hard to engage. Covid didn't help, been a while since a con, and I'm shorter on free time and money to boot. IDK, in some ways I often find it hard to relate to people in this community. I've always had a hard time matching the energy, I'm anything but an excitable fun-loving bouncy person. I often find people more my speed in other places. But ultimately feel unfulfilled for the lack of the special kind of understanding I can only find here, where people just intuitively jive with some of the ways my broken brain ticks. Clearly it's something I need, but I guess I just don't really know how to navigate the waters.
I've just been feeling more and more skittish. Finding it harder and harder to love myself. hard to trust myself. hard to reach out, make new connections, or create new things from a place of vulnerability. You always tell yourself you'll do a better job, but life has a way of keeping you busy, giving you corners to hide in. Makes it really convenient not to do any of that icky self improvement. I challenge myself to try harder and it only ever feels disingenuous, fake, and forced, and I just feel worse for the effort. All of this just to say that I'm still trying to figure out the language I can use to express myself, even after all this time. Parts of me know I've made progress, but in some ways it feels like you never change.
Surprise I just, don't feel like I have many things figured out. But then again who does? Sometimes it really seems like some people do, but experience tells me nobody really does, right?
But there's exciting things going on as well, and I try not to lose sight of that. Things I hope to talk about soon. And that hopefully don't blow up in my face.
Exploring so many new avenues for my work and creative life makes it hard to find time to focus on the things I used to. It's one part spreading myself to thin, but also one part making sacrifices for other things I want, at the expense of some things I used to care about a lot, and in some ways still do. It's strange to feel as if I've grown so much in some places but stagnated or backpedaled in others. I want to revisit and recapture some of that, but I need more time, more money, and some personal stability to make it happen. Things I'm working towards.
I want to make new things, I still want to improve, and I still want to share it with others.
Anyhow I hope you're all well out there, old friends and strangers alike. Take the little things in stride and take the big things to heart, or something.
EDIT: Hey just making it clear I'm totally fine, In a day to day sense things are super normal. Just feeling introspective, y'know. Thanks tons for the kinds words.
I've felt pretty disconnected from the community for a while. Not necessarily because I want to be, but just due to a combination of drifting friend circles, poorly maintained relationships, not spending time on personal art and posting / engaging with others, and being all around generally busy and having other priorities. IDK, doesn't necessarily feel great but I find it hard to engage. Covid didn't help, been a while since a con, and I'm shorter on free time and money to boot. IDK, in some ways I often find it hard to relate to people in this community. I've always had a hard time matching the energy, I'm anything but an excitable fun-loving bouncy person. I often find people more my speed in other places. But ultimately feel unfulfilled for the lack of the special kind of understanding I can only find here, where people just intuitively jive with some of the ways my broken brain ticks. Clearly it's something I need, but I guess I just don't really know how to navigate the waters.
I've just been feeling more and more skittish. Finding it harder and harder to love myself. hard to trust myself. hard to reach out, make new connections, or create new things from a place of vulnerability. You always tell yourself you'll do a better job, but life has a way of keeping you busy, giving you corners to hide in. Makes it really convenient not to do any of that icky self improvement. I challenge myself to try harder and it only ever feels disingenuous, fake, and forced, and I just feel worse for the effort. All of this just to say that I'm still trying to figure out the language I can use to express myself, even after all this time. Parts of me know I've made progress, but in some ways it feels like you never change.
Surprise I just, don't feel like I have many things figured out. But then again who does? Sometimes it really seems like some people do, but experience tells me nobody really does, right?
But there's exciting things going on as well, and I try not to lose sight of that. Things I hope to talk about soon. And that hopefully don't blow up in my face.
Exploring so many new avenues for my work and creative life makes it hard to find time to focus on the things I used to. It's one part spreading myself to thin, but also one part making sacrifices for other things I want, at the expense of some things I used to care about a lot, and in some ways still do. It's strange to feel as if I've grown so much in some places but stagnated or backpedaled in others. I want to revisit and recapture some of that, but I need more time, more money, and some personal stability to make it happen. Things I'm working towards.
I want to make new things, I still want to improve, and I still want to share it with others.
Anyhow I hope you're all well out there, old friends and strangers alike. Take the little things in stride and take the big things to heart, or something.
EDIT: Hey just making it clear I'm totally fine, In a day to day sense things are super normal. Just feeling introspective, y'know. Thanks tons for the kinds words.
-
Posted 7 years agoThings have finally settled down a bit. I recently moved again for the second time in a year, started a new job and stuff.
It's all been exhausting as hell but things have taken a major positive turn for me.
I'm going to dump off some random scraps of things from the last few months, but I hope to have new things to share soon now that I have the time.
~
It's all been exhausting as hell but things have taken a major positive turn for me.
I'm going to dump off some random scraps of things from the last few months, but I hope to have new things to share soon now that I have the time.
~
Opening for commissions! + PATREON
Posted 8 years agoHey all! I'm opening for commissions! I'll be taking 3 slots for $100 character painting commissions, ($150 for 2 characters). If you want a complex or specific background/scene, we can discuss the additional charges. Payment will all be conducted through Paypal, to FluxMage@gmail.com.
Feel free to note or email me for inquiries, I'll be listing and updating my active queue right here:
Slot 2: Anonymous
If the queue is full, wait till you see a slot free up before inquiring for your own.
NSFW or not, both welcome. I reserve the right to reject a concept I'd rather not portray but we can deal with that on a case by case basis.
Feel free to note or email me for inquiries, I'll be listing and updating my active queue right here:
Slot 2: Anonymous
If the queue is full, wait till you see a slot free up before inquiring for your own.
NSFW or not, both welcome. I reserve the right to reject a concept I'd rather not portray but we can deal with that on a case by case basis.
MOVING, apartment/roommate hunting in Glendale/Burbank CA.
Posted 8 years agoI just got a job in Glendale, Califoooorneeea. I have to be out there IN LIKE TWO WEEKS, by the 14th. IT'S ALL VERY SUDDEN. It's also fairly close to Burbank.
Is anybody in need of a roommate? I have family I can crash with temporarily if I can't find anything by then, but I'd much rather be able to get a place and live near the studio and have a little autonomy.
I'm pretty low maintenance, I sit in my room and yell at my computer and I pretty much only care that the kitchen is clean.
I realize it's very short notice but I figure it's worth asking!
(OBVI AT THIS POINT BUT, I did figure out a place to stay and ts'all good.)
Is anybody in need of a roommate? I have family I can crash with temporarily if I can't find anything by then, but I'd much rather be able to get a place and live near the studio and have a little autonomy.
I'm pretty low maintenance, I sit in my room and yell at my computer and I pretty much only care that the kitchen is clean.
I realize it's very short notice but I figure it's worth asking!
(OBVI AT THIS POINT BUT, I did figure out a place to stay and ts'all good.)
Things, Twits and Tumbles.
Posted 9 years agoWhoahaah i'm a college graduate.
Just kinda wanna say hi, I'm a busy duder who was cramming school this last year, and needs to find a job now and junk.
but I'm still 'round. Hopefully I'll be movin' to start fresh somewhere new soon.
Haven't been super active here, but I have been posting off and on at http://flookz.tumblr.com/ , if you search #myart you can see some of that.
I also started up a twitter > https://twitter.com/Flookz_Magee , I might post doodles here but I'll mostly complain about shit, come follow and we can learn to hate me together.
Just kinda wanna say hi, I'm a busy duder who was cramming school this last year, and needs to find a job now and junk.
but I'm still 'round. Hopefully I'll be movin' to start fresh somewhere new soon.
Haven't been super active here, but I have been posting off and on at http://flookz.tumblr.com/ , if you search #myart you can see some of that.
I also started up a twitter > https://twitter.com/Flookz_Magee , I might post doodles here but I'll mostly complain about shit, come follow and we can learn to hate me together.
Post AC
Posted 9 years agoBack home safe in the big D.
Had a really cool time at AC, met and hung out with some really awesome and talented people. I hope to stay in touch with everyone!
Gonna get rolling on commissions again now!
Had a really cool time at AC, met and hung out with some really awesome and talented people. I hope to stay in touch with everyone!
Gonna get rolling on commissions again now!
AC
Posted 9 years agoGonna be at AC with cool frands, 1101+. Pretty wrapped up in prep atm. Feel free to say hi I'll be in an out of the Flookz suit I've been cramming to finish. I Should look something like: http://i.imgur.com/cQrP5Wz.png only angrier.
Don't be surprised if I don't have much to say or respond awkwardly I get flustered easily. Gon' be fun.
If you're waiting on a commission from me expect a small delay, but don't worry I'll get right back to it after the con.
Don't be surprised if I don't have much to say or respond awkwardly I get flustered easily. Gon' be fun.
If you're waiting on a commission from me expect a small delay, but don't worry I'll get right back to it after the con.
Thank.
Posted 11 years agoJust wanna say thank to all the people who watch bombed me, getting 400 watchers overnight with such little content was pretty dang cool yo.