Goodbye, Dennis. I love you.
Posted a week agoI've been putting this off for a while now, but I need to let people know...
On April 20th, 2024, I said goodbye to my partner of 28 years, Dennis. A week earlier he'd had a massive heart attack that left his brain without oxygen for nearly 40 minutes. After a week in ICU and various scans, it was determined he was fully brain-dead. He wasn't coming back.
My housemate and I decided to let him go, as he wouldn't have wanted to be hooked up to machines for however long. We had him cremated and he was placed in an urn that is an actual working Herman Miller clock... he loved clocks, and he loved our home and sadly won't get to see the final remodeling done, but we plan on moving forward with that soon.
Words can not describe how scared and lost I'm feeling right now. He was my life, everything I did revolved around him, and even though we interacted a lot less in the last few years of his life (having different interests), there were still things we connected on - Disney, Legos, and until recently, various BDSM interests. But now that he's really gone, I feel like a leaf barely remaining attached to a tree with a violent wind blowing through, and eventually the leaf will break off and float aimlessly to the ground. And I have days when I really wish I was with him and not here any more, but I know that I have friends and family that love me very much and want me to stay longer, so I will do my best to ensure this.
So... goodbye, Dennis. I love you more than words can describe, and I will never forget you and will always cherish the good times we had together. Thank you for taking care of me these past 28 years. I miss you so much.
- Ken (Vaurien)
On April 20th, 2024, I said goodbye to my partner of 28 years, Dennis. A week earlier he'd had a massive heart attack that left his brain without oxygen for nearly 40 minutes. After a week in ICU and various scans, it was determined he was fully brain-dead. He wasn't coming back.
My housemate and I decided to let him go, as he wouldn't have wanted to be hooked up to machines for however long. We had him cremated and he was placed in an urn that is an actual working Herman Miller clock... he loved clocks, and he loved our home and sadly won't get to see the final remodeling done, but we plan on moving forward with that soon.
Words can not describe how scared and lost I'm feeling right now. He was my life, everything I did revolved around him, and even though we interacted a lot less in the last few years of his life (having different interests), there were still things we connected on - Disney, Legos, and until recently, various BDSM interests. But now that he's really gone, I feel like a leaf barely remaining attached to a tree with a violent wind blowing through, and eventually the leaf will break off and float aimlessly to the ground. And I have days when I really wish I was with him and not here any more, but I know that I have friends and family that love me very much and want me to stay longer, so I will do my best to ensure this.
So... goodbye, Dennis. I love you more than words can describe, and I will never forget you and will always cherish the good times we had together. Thank you for taking care of me these past 28 years. I miss you so much.
- Ken (Vaurien)
Trying to Make It Through the Year
Posted a month agoOnce again, a bit longer between journals than I'd like, but...
This year has not been kind. It's now over one year since I had my original eye surgery, and my eye still hurts on a daily basis. I literally wake up with my eye hurting, and go to sleep with my eye hurting. And the vision really hasn't improved much. Add to that the neck, back, and foot pain, and... yeah.
And on top of all that, our cat of nearly 19 years, Sox, was put to sleep in February. We tried to save him, but his systems kept failing, one by one, and in the end, we didn't want him to suffer any more. He was one of my few remaining anchors in this life, and now he's gone. I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I've started trying to catch up on upload backlog again; we'll see how long that lasts. At this point, I'm around 50-60 images behind, and there's many I never fully downloaded so I'll need to find them again.
Writing? Haven't had the energy or desire lately, not sure when it's returning.
Not sure if this year will be my last or not on this earth, but I guess we'll find out. I'm trying to hold on, but it seems that life really keeps throwing me curve balls, so we'll see...
This year has not been kind. It's now over one year since I had my original eye surgery, and my eye still hurts on a daily basis. I literally wake up with my eye hurting, and go to sleep with my eye hurting. And the vision really hasn't improved much. Add to that the neck, back, and foot pain, and... yeah.
And on top of all that, our cat of nearly 19 years, Sox, was put to sleep in February. We tried to save him, but his systems kept failing, one by one, and in the end, we didn't want him to suffer any more. He was one of my few remaining anchors in this life, and now he's gone. I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I've started trying to catch up on upload backlog again; we'll see how long that lasts. At this point, I'm around 50-60 images behind, and there's many I never fully downloaded so I'll need to find them again.
Writing? Haven't had the energy or desire lately, not sure when it's returning.
Not sure if this year will be my last or not on this earth, but I guess we'll find out. I'm trying to hold on, but it seems that life really keeps throwing me curve balls, so we'll see...
Belated Update and Hopeful Rest of Year
Posted 6 months agoOnce again, my desire to update here on a regular basis... well, failed. After the eye surgery in March, I simply got out of the habit of uploading new material, and now I'm MONTHS behind and even haven't catalogued all the new artwork I've received, so things are going to be a bit random over the next few months. I'm going to try to catch up, but I need to determine artwork I've received and haven't catalogued, and then make sure everything is properly converted, and... and... sigh it's going to be a long process, please be patient with me!
As for my eye, recently I got cataract surgery and that did help some, but the vision in the eye is still pretty screwed up and I'm still not sure I'll ever fully restore much of the vision. At some point, I may need to recover my driver's license with one eye (possible in California) and just hope the vision gets good enough in the right eye to use it for driving again. I guess we'll see.
I do hope, moving forward, to keep folks more updated but we'll see!
As for my eye, recently I got cataract surgery and that did help some, but the vision in the eye is still pretty screwed up and I'm still not sure I'll ever fully restore much of the vision. At some point, I may need to recover my driver's license with one eye (possible in California) and just hope the vision gets good enough in the right eye to use it for driving again. I guess we'll see.
I do hope, moving forward, to keep folks more updated but we'll see!
Birthday and Health Udpate
Posted a year agoSo... today I turned 53, which is, well... okay! Overall, I'm still pretty healthy...
Except... i'm recovering from eye surgery to re-attach a detached retina, and dealing with a lot of discomfort and the unknown of whether I'll recover my eyesight or not. There's some recovery, but right now I'm dealing with high pressure issues that could make me go permanently blind if I don't get them under control.
I'm not going to lie; I'm very scared right now. My eyesight is precious to me, and this issue is partly my fault, and partly an ophthalmologist's fault who told me several weeks ago my retina was fine... when it most certainly wasn't. The surgery went well, but the complications and pain have left me wondering if I'll make a full recovery. Only time will tell.
So, today was a bittersweet day. At the very least, I had a wonderful dinner at Red Lobster (restaurant chain) with a waitress that made me forget my situation for a while, and served me lots of wonderful food. I can only hope the following days will be filled with better times as well, but as always... we shall see.
Except... i'm recovering from eye surgery to re-attach a detached retina, and dealing with a lot of discomfort and the unknown of whether I'll recover my eyesight or not. There's some recovery, but right now I'm dealing with high pressure issues that could make me go permanently blind if I don't get them under control.
I'm not going to lie; I'm very scared right now. My eyesight is precious to me, and this issue is partly my fault, and partly an ophthalmologist's fault who told me several weeks ago my retina was fine... when it most certainly wasn't. The surgery went well, but the complications and pain have left me wondering if I'll make a full recovery. Only time will tell.
So, today was a bittersweet day. At the very least, I had a wonderful dinner at Red Lobster (restaurant chain) with a waitress that made me forget my situation for a while, and served me lots of wonderful food. I can only hope the following days will be filled with better times as well, but as always... we shall see.
Happy New Year And Retrospective
Posted a year agoHappy New Year to everyone!
It's been a wild ride, and while 2022 wasn't a terrible year, per se, I'm certainly glad it's over. For me, it's definitely had its highs and lows.
First, the highs: I stayed employed, which is good! And I'm still (mostly) enjoying my job, which is also good! I also hit 900 watchers here on FA, which is simply mind-boggling to me. Finally, I've dropped from my high of 205lbs early this year to 159lbs as of yesterday, losing over 35lbs in just over 3 months! Feeling really good about that, and liking how I look in the mirror.
Now, the lows: my weight loss was triggered by finding out I'm diabetic, and I won't lie - it sucks bigtime. I'm finding out being a celiac is actually easier than being a diabetic nowadays, and trying to balance caloric intake with minimal carb intake is extremely challenging and stressful. Overall my health has been a bit of a mess, including eye issues, back issues, and teeth issues (finally going to the dentist for the first time last week in over 35 years). Along with that, my desire to start writing again never materialized, due to lack of time and confidence, which really frustrates me.
So 2022 was a mixed bag, and there's some uncertainty as we get ready to enter 2023. I remain hopeful, however, so we shall see what the new year brings. Regardless, I wish everyone a good 2023 and hopefully things will be better as we move forward!
It's been a wild ride, and while 2022 wasn't a terrible year, per se, I'm certainly glad it's over. For me, it's definitely had its highs and lows.
First, the highs: I stayed employed, which is good! And I'm still (mostly) enjoying my job, which is also good! I also hit 900 watchers here on FA, which is simply mind-boggling to me. Finally, I've dropped from my high of 205lbs early this year to 159lbs as of yesterday, losing over 35lbs in just over 3 months! Feeling really good about that, and liking how I look in the mirror.
Now, the lows: my weight loss was triggered by finding out I'm diabetic, and I won't lie - it sucks bigtime. I'm finding out being a celiac is actually easier than being a diabetic nowadays, and trying to balance caloric intake with minimal carb intake is extremely challenging and stressful. Overall my health has been a bit of a mess, including eye issues, back issues, and teeth issues (finally going to the dentist for the first time last week in over 35 years). Along with that, my desire to start writing again never materialized, due to lack of time and confidence, which really frustrates me.
So 2022 was a mixed bag, and there's some uncertainty as we get ready to enter 2023. I remain hopeful, however, so we shall see what the new year brings. Regardless, I wish everyone a good 2023 and hopefully things will be better as we move forward!
It's That Time Of Year Again! (Retrospective)
Posted 2 years agoI suck.
No, seriously... a year since my last journal?! What the heck?!
Not that I've thought about writing something... again... and again... and again... and again...
But as I near my 52nd birthday in just one more day, I realized maybe it was time to update people on my life and things in general.
It's been... well, I won't lie. It's been a really rough time for me. While I have a job I started out loving, currently with the various things going on, I can't quite say the same, and that's both very frustrating and sad for me. I *want* things to be better, but the depressive side of me keeps saying, "It's just going to get worse, have fun!" I'm trying to fight that depressive side of me and see the positive things, but... yeah... 🙂
However, I do have the next few days off from work to just enjoy my birthday, and I know my housemate has planned a really nice dinner for me, so things aren't ALL that bad! 😄
As for my writing, I will not lie; my last journal, almost exactly a year ago, talked about how excited I was to start writing again, and I was! But then I had some much better writers review my latest piece and in the process, I began to doubt... MAJORLY. I second-guessed everything I written, and while they said the ideas/content was great, I felt I couldn't write competently and kind of... well, "froze" on any sort of writing moving forward. I want to get back and do the right thing, but I've been almost afraid to do so. My work situation hasn't exactly helped my confidence, either, sadly.
But I'll get there. So starting with catching up on my massive backlog of commissions I've received in the past 4 to 5 months, then hopefully finding my voice in writing again, I'll be a bit more active.
For all those who've supported me in the past and currently, I thank you. I hope my birthday on Tuesday is pleasant and uneventful, and I hope to please you with more works of my writing shortly, along with some of the many commissions I've received recently that you may not have seen yet!
Thank you all for my rambling at 2am in the morning, and I hope to make my journals a bit more of a regular thing. 😉
No, seriously... a year since my last journal?! What the heck?!
Not that I've thought about writing something... again... and again... and again... and again...
But as I near my 52nd birthday in just one more day, I realized maybe it was time to update people on my life and things in general.
It's been... well, I won't lie. It's been a really rough time for me. While I have a job I started out loving, currently with the various things going on, I can't quite say the same, and that's both very frustrating and sad for me. I *want* things to be better, but the depressive side of me keeps saying, "It's just going to get worse, have fun!" I'm trying to fight that depressive side of me and see the positive things, but... yeah... 🙂
However, I do have the next few days off from work to just enjoy my birthday, and I know my housemate has planned a really nice dinner for me, so things aren't ALL that bad! 😄
As for my writing, I will not lie; my last journal, almost exactly a year ago, talked about how excited I was to start writing again, and I was! But then I had some much better writers review my latest piece and in the process, I began to doubt... MAJORLY. I second-guessed everything I written, and while they said the ideas/content was great, I felt I couldn't write competently and kind of... well, "froze" on any sort of writing moving forward. I want to get back and do the right thing, but I've been almost afraid to do so. My work situation hasn't exactly helped my confidence, either, sadly.
But I'll get there. So starting with catching up on my massive backlog of commissions I've received in the past 4 to 5 months, then hopefully finding my voice in writing again, I'll be a bit more active.
For all those who've supported me in the past and currently, I thank you. I hope my birthday on Tuesday is pleasant and uneventful, and I hope to please you with more works of my writing shortly, along with some of the many commissions I've received recently that you may not have seen yet!
Thank you all for my rambling at 2am in the morning, and I hope to make my journals a bit more of a regular thing. 😉
One Year Older! (And Other Updates)
Posted 3 years agoHey, folks!
Before the day ended (at least here in the US Pacific), I wanted to mention that I'm now 51, and still feeling pretty good, despite my age! I wanted to thank all those who wished me well, along with a few surprise drawings I hadn't expected! I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful attention, and I thank you all very much for your kind words! It means so much to me, and you all helped make the day really special.
In other news, yesterday I wrote for the first time in months... and it felt GOOD. I hope the artist block has been broken, and will be looking to finish up a few things along with starting new projects! I'll keep you all updated.
I'm dozing off here, so I'll follow up soon; once again, thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!
Vaurien (Ken)
Before the day ended (at least here in the US Pacific), I wanted to mention that I'm now 51, and still feeling pretty good, despite my age! I wanted to thank all those who wished me well, along with a few surprise drawings I hadn't expected! I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful attention, and I thank you all very much for your kind words! It means so much to me, and you all helped make the day really special.
In other news, yesterday I wrote for the first time in months... and it felt GOOD. I hope the artist block has been broken, and will be looking to finish up a few things along with starting new projects! I'll keep you all updated.
I'm dozing off here, so I'll follow up soon; once again, thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!
Vaurien (Ken)
End Of Year Journal and Breaking Silence
Posted 3 years agoFirst off, I apologize to all for nearly falling off the radar here. 2020 was a very difficult year for me, as it was for everyone else, and while there were some bad things that occurred, some good things also occurred that overall gave a positive light to the end of the year.
While I may not have been posting much, I certainly was still acquiring commissions, and in April I got a new job for a company probably very well known to most furries, where I've been since and have been extremely happy. Honestly the new job is what pulled me through most of the year, along with my family and friends. On top of that, the commission I'd hoped to get for my birthday in March I was finally able to secure as a Christmas gift and will be in progress soon, and I'm extremely excited for it.
I want to apologize profusely for those who have been either waiting for writing commissions from me or wanting to get one; once the new job started, things got very crazy (even though I work remotely, so my 'office' is about 40 feet - and down a flight of stairs - from my bedroom) and my writing muse got heavily stifled, leading to severe writer's block. Given that work will be a lot less frantic moving forward into next year, I will be kickstarting my writing again, and plan on completing two promised stories by the end of this week (I put it on my list in Todoist to not let me forget). Once the new year starts, I will try to open for writing commissions again; more info on that in the new year.
Along with the writing, I'll be catching up on my uploads for folks and will be doing a bit of reorganizing to separate my work from commissioned artwork.
So hopefully you can all forgive me for the relative silence, and may 2021 bring you all good health and happiness!
While I may not have been posting much, I certainly was still acquiring commissions, and in April I got a new job for a company probably very well known to most furries, where I've been since and have been extremely happy. Honestly the new job is what pulled me through most of the year, along with my family and friends. On top of that, the commission I'd hoped to get for my birthday in March I was finally able to secure as a Christmas gift and will be in progress soon, and I'm extremely excited for it.
I want to apologize profusely for those who have been either waiting for writing commissions from me or wanting to get one; once the new job started, things got very crazy (even though I work remotely, so my 'office' is about 40 feet - and down a flight of stairs - from my bedroom) and my writing muse got heavily stifled, leading to severe writer's block. Given that work will be a lot less frantic moving forward into next year, I will be kickstarting my writing again, and plan on completing two promised stories by the end of this week (I put it on my list in Todoist to not let me forget). Once the new year starts, I will try to open for writing commissions again; more info on that in the new year.
Along with the writing, I'll be catching up on my uploads for folks and will be doing a bit of reorganizing to separate my work from commissioned artwork.
So hopefully you can all forgive me for the relative silence, and may 2021 bring you all good health and happiness!
Strange Times (Birthday and Commissions)
Posted 4 years agoSo... yeah, if I'd known just two weeks ago where things would be today, I might have written a different previous post.
In just a few hours, I turn 50. I was expecting to celebrate my birthday in a very different way, but with the "shelter at home" order here in California, that's changed things... a lot. I'm hunkered down in my house, actually very scared to go out as my health isn't the greatest and my partner's is even worse, but I still hope we will pull through this. My plans for a special commission for my birthday sadly fell through when my current consulting situation didn't turn up a new job, so I'm on the hunt for work and hoping that even with the impending recession I'll find me something to help pull me through. I'll keep my fingers crossed, I have a few options.
As a result of potentially having a lot more time on my hands in the near future, I will be opening for writing commissions. I've updated my commissions page with all relevant information, and I have a few potential ones lined up already. Once those are sorted out, I'll be posting on a regular basis when I'm open for commissions. (PLEASE NOTE: I'm ONLY doing writing commissions at the moment, please don't ask about artwork. I need a lot more practice for that and I need to focus on something I'm good at right now before delving into a new area.) Hopefully it will help me build up a clientele and if I can focus on larger projects maybe even a Patreon setup. We'll see.
I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the 'social distancing' as is being requested. Folks, let's help people get through this sooner; please be mindful of others, regardless of your age.
Keep an eye out for upcoming commission slots!
In just a few hours, I turn 50. I was expecting to celebrate my birthday in a very different way, but with the "shelter at home" order here in California, that's changed things... a lot. I'm hunkered down in my house, actually very scared to go out as my health isn't the greatest and my partner's is even worse, but I still hope we will pull through this. My plans for a special commission for my birthday sadly fell through when my current consulting situation didn't turn up a new job, so I'm on the hunt for work and hoping that even with the impending recession I'll find me something to help pull me through. I'll keep my fingers crossed, I have a few options.
As a result of potentially having a lot more time on my hands in the near future, I will be opening for writing commissions. I've updated my commissions page with all relevant information, and I have a few potential ones lined up already. Once those are sorted out, I'll be posting on a regular basis when I'm open for commissions. (PLEASE NOTE: I'm ONLY doing writing commissions at the moment, please don't ask about artwork. I need a lot more practice for that and I need to focus on something I'm good at right now before delving into a new area.) Hopefully it will help me build up a clientele and if I can focus on larger projects maybe even a Patreon setup. We'll see.
I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the 'social distancing' as is being requested. Folks, let's help people get through this sooner; please be mindful of others, regardless of your age.
Keep an eye out for upcoming commission slots!
Upcoming Birthday and General Status Information
Posted 4 years agoSo, first off, in exactly two weeks I turn the big 5-0. Yes, you read that right - 50. It's hard to believe I've reached the half century mark already, but it looks like it's going to happen and hopefully it won't be my last birthday. I wanted to do something special for it, but more about that in a moment. Needless to say, I'm truly an old man come the 22nd.
As for what's been up since my last update about six months ago, well... things haven't been great. I've been on "bench time" with my consulting agency since the beginning of the year and still have no new assignment from them since the beginning of the year, which is very frustrating since I'd hoped that they would have found a good match for me by now. As a result, I've been forced to start looking on my own before my lack of income occurs, as well as my medical coverage (and therefore my critical partner's coverage) expires. This, of course, has led to enormous amounts f stress, along with some health issues, but this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to job changes, so I know I'll survive. It sadly did delay a commission I'd been wanting to do for my birthday from the amazing Tanraak, but it is what it is. I'll survive. slight smile
On a better note, I FINALLY dusted off Scrivener and have started writing my next story. Having passed 500 watchers a while back, I'm thinking of doing a raffle for a story shortly thereafter, along with actually taking commissions, as several people have expressed interest. I mean, I need to find something to help me get out of IT at some point in the future.
So, time to wait for the big day to arrive; hopefully I'll make it!
As for what's been up since my last update about six months ago, well... things haven't been great. I've been on "bench time" with my consulting agency since the beginning of the year and still have no new assignment from them since the beginning of the year, which is very frustrating since I'd hoped that they would have found a good match for me by now. As a result, I've been forced to start looking on my own before my lack of income occurs, as well as my medical coverage (and therefore my critical partner's coverage) expires. This, of course, has led to enormous amounts f stress, along with some health issues, but this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to job changes, so I know I'll survive. It sadly did delay a commission I'd been wanting to do for my birthday from the amazing Tanraak, but it is what it is. I'll survive. slight smile
On a better note, I FINALLY dusted off Scrivener and have started writing my next story. Having passed 500 watchers a while back, I'm thinking of doing a raffle for a story shortly thereafter, along with actually taking commissions, as several people have expressed interest. I mean, I need to find something to help me get out of IT at some point in the future.
So, time to wait for the big day to arrive; hopefully I'll make it!
GoFundMe for a friend (needs new computer)
Posted 4 years agoSo a good friend, drake-darkscale , has had his current computer completely fail on him. He's in an isolated area and not only is his computer his main connection to the world, but also how he makes his living as an artist. A mutual friend has started a GoFundMe campaign to assist:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/art-frie.....ting-a-new-one
I would please ask anyone who can spare even one or two dollars to help him get a new system to keep him from being unable to support himself; he really needs the help, and he really is a sweet person. Please help if you can!
https://www.gofundme.com/f/art-frie.....ting-a-new-one
I would please ask anyone who can spare even one or two dollars to help him get a new system to keep him from being unable to support himself; he really needs the help, and he really is a sweet person. Please help if you can!
Playing Catch-Up And Still Trying To Get Back To Writing
Posted 4 years agoSo folks, I realized that I'm just a wee bit behind uploading of the commissions and sketches I've been getting, so don't be surprised by the sudden "flurry" over the next two weeks as I slowly catch up again. Hopefully I won't let things get behind again, but we'll see... with work being what it is right now, it's been hard to find any motivation for "work" outside of work, if you follow me.
And I'm STILL trying to get my muse back for writing. I have one image waiting for nearly a year now to have a story written for it, but I keep finding myself not wanting to sit down and actually do it, and I really need to break this, especially if I'm going to try to take a real stab at doing commissions to help defray the cost of the continued commissions I've been getting! I also know some people have expressed interest, so hopefully this time I'll be able to break the funk that I've been in when it comes to writing... anyone have any suggestions?
That's all for now; peace, folks!
And I'm STILL trying to get my muse back for writing. I have one image waiting for nearly a year now to have a story written for it, but I keep finding myself not wanting to sit down and actually do it, and I really need to break this, especially if I'm going to try to take a real stab at doing commissions to help defray the cost of the continued commissions I've been getting! I also know some people have expressed interest, so hopefully this time I'll be able to break the funk that I've been in when it comes to writing... anyone have any suggestions?
That's all for now; peace, folks!
Some Life Changes, Things Are Getting Better...
Posted 5 years agoHey folks, probably should have made this a little while ago, but kept putting it off and getting busy with other things...
So continuing from my previous journal, I had mentioned I was unhappy with my current job, and had been looking elsewhere. Well, once again my good ol' consulting agency from the past, Taos, reached out to me again and I'm now working a remote job for a company doing devops work. Working from home all the time is taking some getting used to, especially since I'm currently working East Coast times (6am - 2pm for me), but I'm enjoying the new challenge so far. We'll see how things proceed, but for now it's good to be someplace that's giving me a lot less stress in my life.
On the flip side, I'm getting plenty of stress from the kitchen / first floor renovation that's still moving forward, but much slower than I'd hoped currently. We were without a functional kitchen for over a month, and still don't have a fully functional one. Doing dishes in the bathtub is wearing thin. But at least things continue to progress, and we're beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, so that's good!
A final note: I'm finding myself itching to do more writing again, and still want to test the waters out for doing it for others specifically, rather than just various posts here. If there's anyone who might be interested in getting a writing commission from me, please note me! And since I passed 10,000 profile views (and 400 watchers), I've thought of doing a raffle, just not sure how to handle that; suggestions/comments on the idea are welcome, however!
Anyhow, that's it for now; peace, folks!
So continuing from my previous journal, I had mentioned I was unhappy with my current job, and had been looking elsewhere. Well, once again my good ol' consulting agency from the past, Taos, reached out to me again and I'm now working a remote job for a company doing devops work. Working from home all the time is taking some getting used to, especially since I'm currently working East Coast times (6am - 2pm for me), but I'm enjoying the new challenge so far. We'll see how things proceed, but for now it's good to be someplace that's giving me a lot less stress in my life.
On the flip side, I'm getting plenty of stress from the kitchen / first floor renovation that's still moving forward, but much slower than I'd hoped currently. We were without a functional kitchen for over a month, and still don't have a fully functional one. Doing dishes in the bathtub is wearing thin. But at least things continue to progress, and we're beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, so that's good!
A final note: I'm finding myself itching to do more writing again, and still want to test the waters out for doing it for others specifically, rather than just various posts here. If there's anyone who might be interested in getting a writing commission from me, please note me! And since I passed 10,000 profile views (and 400 watchers), I've thought of doing a raffle, just not sure how to handle that; suggestions/comments on the idea are welcome, however!
Anyhow, that's it for now; peace, folks!
Things Are Slowly Getting Better, Still Problems To Resolve
Posted 5 years agoSo, to start with the mostly good news since my last journal:
My partner, after having congestive heart failure, has made a remarkable recovery and was home by the weekend. He says he feels better than before the incident, which is a good thing, I believe. This past Tuesday he had an angioplasty and according to his heart doctor his arteries "are all good" at the moment. He still needs to get some therapy done, lose a fair amount of weight and get more exercise, but things are far better than they were two weeks ago, at least!
Now, the not-so-good news:
Last Tuesday I myself ended up in the ER with a very high blood pressure, left shoulder/arm pain and some mild breathing issues. I initially went to urgent care when my BP wasn't coming down, but after describing the symptoms, they decided to send me to the ER, where they did an EKG, chest x-ray and blood tests. The results... I wasn't having a heart attack, as was feared. So that's good, but the fact that I ended up in the ER in the first place was bad. :-/
And my job really doesn't seem to be getting any better for me. I have a few conversations with a few places coming up, along with an interview... I'm hoping in the next month or two I can find something that will make me happy again, but I guess we'll have to wait and see. One of these days, I look forward to leaving IT and doing what I really want to do in life, but that's still some years away, so first let's find a job I can enjoy.
Anyhow, I'm still alive, my partner's still alive, and that's what counts! I thank you all for the support you've given me so far, words can't describe how much it's meant to me!
Hugs to all,
Ken (Vaurien)
My partner, after having congestive heart failure, has made a remarkable recovery and was home by the weekend. He says he feels better than before the incident, which is a good thing, I believe. This past Tuesday he had an angioplasty and according to his heart doctor his arteries "are all good" at the moment. He still needs to get some therapy done, lose a fair amount of weight and get more exercise, but things are far better than they were two weeks ago, at least!
Now, the not-so-good news:
Last Tuesday I myself ended up in the ER with a very high blood pressure, left shoulder/arm pain and some mild breathing issues. I initially went to urgent care when my BP wasn't coming down, but after describing the symptoms, they decided to send me to the ER, where they did an EKG, chest x-ray and blood tests. The results... I wasn't having a heart attack, as was feared. So that's good, but the fact that I ended up in the ER in the first place was bad. :-/
And my job really doesn't seem to be getting any better for me. I have a few conversations with a few places coming up, along with an interview... I'm hoping in the next month or two I can find something that will make me happy again, but I guess we'll have to wait and see. One of these days, I look forward to leaving IT and doing what I really want to do in life, but that's still some years away, so first let's find a job I can enjoy.
Anyhow, I'm still alive, my partner's still alive, and that's what counts! I thank you all for the support you've given me so far, words can't describe how much it's meant to me!
Hugs to all,
Ken (Vaurien)
At A Crossroads In My Life
Posted 5 years agoThis is never the type of journal I wanted to write... ever...
Giving folks a heads up that things might go quiet with me over the next few weeks/months. My loving partner of 23 years is currently in ICU due to serious health issues. I don't yet have a full diagnosis, but things are pointing to heart failure. If that's the case, I'm not sure how much longer he'll be with me on this earth, and the thought of that is devastating. I am trying to remain hopeful, but it's hard.
Depending on how things go, I will probably not be very responsive for a while, but be assured I have others looking after me. Our housemate Melissa, who's been with us for 15 years now, has promised to help me through this and take care of me. She is a godsend, and I am forever thankful that she is here; without her, I'm not sure I would make it through this dark time of my life.
I wish you all peace.
- Ken
Giving folks a heads up that things might go quiet with me over the next few weeks/months. My loving partner of 23 years is currently in ICU due to serious health issues. I don't yet have a full diagnosis, but things are pointing to heart failure. If that's the case, I'm not sure how much longer he'll be with me on this earth, and the thought of that is devastating. I am trying to remain hopeful, but it's hard.
Depending on how things go, I will probably not be very responsive for a while, but be assured I have others looking after me. Our housemate Melissa, who's been with us for 15 years now, has promised to help me through this and take care of me. She is a godsend, and I am forever thankful that she is here; without her, I'm not sure I would make it through this dark time of my life.
I wish you all peace.
- Ken
Update on Story Raffle Idea...
Posted 5 years ago... is that it's still planned, for those that were curious, but shortly after I posted my New Year's journal, one of the two remaining hard drives on my current server/desktop system went kaput, leaving me with... one. Since I've been meaning to build out a new server/desktop for a while now, I've been scrambling to do so and figure out how to set up the new system (for those of you who REALLY know Debian/Ubuntu, KVM, and migrations well (or any of the above) - please reach out to me, I need help!) once I have all the parts, which will be soon. Stories have sadly needed to wait.
That being said, for this raffle I hope to do soon, any suggestions on what I should/shouldn't do with it? This will be my first time with such a thing, so hoping to not overstep my boundaries on this one. :)
- Ken (Vaurien)
That being said, for this raffle I hope to do soon, any suggestions on what I should/shouldn't do with it? This will be my first time with such a thing, so hoping to not overstep my boundaries on this one. :)
- Ken (Vaurien)
It's A New Year: Updates and Potential Revelations
Posted 5 years agoGoing to try to keep this from rambling too much and see how we do, but there's a lot of ground to cover. smile
First off, I want to thank all my new watchers and all those who favorited my uploads, particularly those including my own writing, of which there wasn't much this year, sadly. I never thought it would happen, but I passed 10,000 profile views and 2,000 favorites, along with 300 watchers (and moving at a really good pace to 400). Just three years ago, after having been on the site for nearly 9 years, I had no uploads, no journals, no favorites... and around 1,400 profile views. I've done a lot of catching up in the last three years, it seems! And I'm hoping to keep the momentum going by writing more in the coming future and staying involved. In fact, I plan on doing a raffle for a free story in celebration passing 10,000 profile views; I'll post a new journal specifically for that shortly, so keep an eye out.
2018 was... a bad year for me. The political climate here in the US was horrible (and that's all I'll say on that subject), and a growing discontent in my current work situation left me exhausted and stress most of the time, and dealing with far more health issues than I would care to list. I can only hope that 2019 will be better, but that will remain to be seen. I'll keep trudging forward at the very least, as I always do.
That leads to the 'potential revelations' I mentioned earlier. My closest friends know about these, and those who are around me online a fair amount and are perceptive enough may have picked up on them. The first one is that I deal with depression, and it's relatively severe. This year has been worst than previous years, I'll admit; I suspect the increasing stress hasn't helped. For those who have talked to me and noticed my sudden outbursts of sadness, note that it's not random and definitely not me just looking for attention or playing a game. If I'm crying in chat, there's a 99% chance I'm also crying in real life.
Related to that is my anxiety attacks. I started getting them about 10 years ago, right around the time I had my first sinus and esophageal issues (due to acid reflux). They have oscillated between happening only once in a while to several a week over those years, and the past few years they've been much worse. Explaining them to others seems to be harder than explaining depression; how do you explain a sudden irrational belief that you're suffocating, with your brain screaming at you that you're going to die? This is basically what I go through with them; sometimes they're relatively mild and short-lived, but I've had pretty severe ones, including one bad enough to send me to the ER. It was definitely a very low point of my life.
I'm mentioning all this (and potentially opening myself up to criticism) because in the past few years, I've gotten to know a lot more of you online and even in person, and I know that sometimes my strange mood swings seem confusing. I am truly sorry for that and understand fully why it can put some people off; it's even damaged friendships (which ironically usually makes the depression or anxiety even worse), and ended a few, which has been heartbreaking for me, as I treasure all my friends. To stem the inevitable questions of whether I've sought help for both, the answer is: partially. I've been given some medications in the past, but they really screwed with my emotional and mental states even more and I decided to no longer go that route. Psychiatric therapy is something I have considered, though I've not followed through with fully just yet, for reasons that are too complex to get into here.
What I do ask from others for all this is simply to be patient with me at times I seem to be a bit 'off'; it's not your fault, and honestly the thing that helps the most is just having an ear to listen to help me work my way through the rough times. Just having someone 'there' gives me a lot of strength to pull myself many of these times. If it does make anyone uncomfortable when they're conversing with me, please do let me know. I've lost too many friendships due to things not said; I'd rather find a way moving forward to prevent that.
Okay, enough downer talk, I do wish everyone a great and wonderful 2019! While I'm not making any resolutions for this year, I do hope to be writing a lot more than I have, and still hoping I might be able to find folks willing to commission me for my writing skills as I get a lot of positive feedback on it. Only time will tell! (But do let me know if you're interested via a note or something. ).
Happy New Year, everyone!
- Ken (Vaurien)
First off, I want to thank all my new watchers and all those who favorited my uploads, particularly those including my own writing, of which there wasn't much this year, sadly. I never thought it would happen, but I passed 10,000 profile views and 2,000 favorites, along with 300 watchers (and moving at a really good pace to 400). Just three years ago, after having been on the site for nearly 9 years, I had no uploads, no journals, no favorites... and around 1,400 profile views. I've done a lot of catching up in the last three years, it seems! And I'm hoping to keep the momentum going by writing more in the coming future and staying involved. In fact, I plan on doing a raffle for a free story in celebration passing 10,000 profile views; I'll post a new journal specifically for that shortly, so keep an eye out.
2018 was... a bad year for me. The political climate here in the US was horrible (and that's all I'll say on that subject), and a growing discontent in my current work situation left me exhausted and stress most of the time, and dealing with far more health issues than I would care to list. I can only hope that 2019 will be better, but that will remain to be seen. I'll keep trudging forward at the very least, as I always do.
That leads to the 'potential revelations' I mentioned earlier. My closest friends know about these, and those who are around me online a fair amount and are perceptive enough may have picked up on them. The first one is that I deal with depression, and it's relatively severe. This year has been worst than previous years, I'll admit; I suspect the increasing stress hasn't helped. For those who have talked to me and noticed my sudden outbursts of sadness, note that it's not random and definitely not me just looking for attention or playing a game. If I'm crying in chat, there's a 99% chance I'm also crying in real life.
Related to that is my anxiety attacks. I started getting them about 10 years ago, right around the time I had my first sinus and esophageal issues (due to acid reflux). They have oscillated between happening only once in a while to several a week over those years, and the past few years they've been much worse. Explaining them to others seems to be harder than explaining depression; how do you explain a sudden irrational belief that you're suffocating, with your brain screaming at you that you're going to die? This is basically what I go through with them; sometimes they're relatively mild and short-lived, but I've had pretty severe ones, including one bad enough to send me to the ER. It was definitely a very low point of my life.
I'm mentioning all this (and potentially opening myself up to criticism) because in the past few years, I've gotten to know a lot more of you online and even in person, and I know that sometimes my strange mood swings seem confusing. I am truly sorry for that and understand fully why it can put some people off; it's even damaged friendships (which ironically usually makes the depression or anxiety even worse), and ended a few, which has been heartbreaking for me, as I treasure all my friends. To stem the inevitable questions of whether I've sought help for both, the answer is: partially. I've been given some medications in the past, but they really screwed with my emotional and mental states even more and I decided to no longer go that route. Psychiatric therapy is something I have considered, though I've not followed through with fully just yet, for reasons that are too complex to get into here.
What I do ask from others for all this is simply to be patient with me at times I seem to be a bit 'off'; it's not your fault, and honestly the thing that helps the most is just having an ear to listen to help me work my way through the rough times. Just having someone 'there' gives me a lot of strength to pull myself many of these times. If it does make anyone uncomfortable when they're conversing with me, please do let me know. I've lost too many friendships due to things not said; I'd rather find a way moving forward to prevent that.
Okay, enough downer talk, I do wish everyone a great and wonderful 2019! While I'm not making any resolutions for this year, I do hope to be writing a lot more than I have, and still hoping I might be able to find folks willing to commission me for my writing skills as I get a lot of positive feedback on it. Only time will tell! (But do let me know if you're interested via a note or something. ).
Happy New Year, everyone!
- Ken (Vaurien)
HOLY CRAP, 300 WATCHERS!
Posted 5 years agoI can't believe it, I hit 300 watchers! Not sure how, but... who cares?! It makes me feel quite ecstatic and also very humble that so many people would find my postings interesting!
Like others, I could say "I'm going to do a <something-something> in celebration!", but I have NO idea what that should be. :D I'm open to suggestions, though keep in mind I do NOT do artwork currently, just writing... always up for a collab, though!
Anyhow... WHOO! HELL YEAH! :D
Like others, I could say "I'm going to do a <something-something> in celebration!", but I have NO idea what that should be. :D I'm open to suggestions, though keep in mind I do NOT do artwork currently, just writing... always up for a collab, though!
Anyhow... WHOO! HELL YEAH! :D
Quick Update and Still Looking to Take Commissions
Posted 5 years agoOkay, this took a bit longer to finally get around writing than I thought...
First off, I want to thank everyone for the small but noticeable uptick in profile views and faves, along with the new watchers; it's greatly appreciated! I would have never thought to see myself approached 10,000 views just two years ago when I finally starting posting on this site. I look forward to that along with getting to 300 watches, too. *smile* In particular, thank you to those who faved me recently! I'm sorry I haven't responded to all, but realized keeping up nowadays might be a bit tough, and I've also found that some folks prefer to not have a 'thank you' shout, so trying to be more conscientious on that.
Also wanted to let folks know that I am still looking to try my hand at doing some writing commissions! To give a quick summary, I will write a story of whatever you desire (within boundaries - see my commission info) and my current rate is $10 / 1000 words, pro-rated for 100 words (rounded down) - so if the story ended up being 3,250 words long, it would end up being $32. I had a few nibbles when I first mentioned this, but then got distracted and never followed through, so let's give this a shot again! Just look through my gallery to see some of my writing works.
Also interested in doing a collaboration with an artist (image with story or short comic), if there's anyone out there who would like to give that a go with me!
So... let's see where this leads. *grin*
First off, I want to thank everyone for the small but noticeable uptick in profile views and faves, along with the new watchers; it's greatly appreciated! I would have never thought to see myself approached 10,000 views just two years ago when I finally starting posting on this site. I look forward to that along with getting to 300 watches, too. *smile* In particular, thank you to those who faved me recently! I'm sorry I haven't responded to all, but realized keeping up nowadays might be a bit tough, and I've also found that some folks prefer to not have a 'thank you' shout, so trying to be more conscientious on that.
Also wanted to let folks know that I am still looking to try my hand at doing some writing commissions! To give a quick summary, I will write a story of whatever you desire (within boundaries - see my commission info) and my current rate is $10 / 1000 words, pro-rated for 100 words (rounded down) - so if the story ended up being 3,250 words long, it would end up being $32. I had a few nibbles when I first mentioned this, but then got distracted and never followed through, so let's give this a shot again! Just look through my gallery to see some of my writing works.
Also interested in doing a collaboration with an artist (image with story or short comic), if there's anyone out there who would like to give that a go with me!
So... let's see where this leads. *grin*
2018 Update: NY Resolution Status and Taking Commissions
Posted 7 years agoWell, with nearly half of 2018 over with, looking back on my resolutions I gave for the year... I'm not doing so hot. *smile*
My health hasn't improved much, mainly due to large amounts of stress with my job and the house renovations that have my partner on constant edge, which puts me on edge, leading to binges. Not proud of it, but still trying to find a way to get it all under control by the end of the year. I also haven't yet attempted any more artwork, but hopefully with things calming down a bit I will give it another go soon! As for the bondage fun... nope, nada, zip... well, not completely true, as I did have a small amount of fun at Further Confusion, but that's been it so far.
On a better note, I DID finally write another story, which was 'Cursed!'. I think it's my best furry story yet, and certainly the longest! It did have artwork (done by the amazing vir-no-vigoratus once more) to go with it, but in this case much of the story idea was already laid out before the artwork was drawn, unlike some of the previous ones I've done before.
On that note, I have decided to give a shot at doing story commissions, as I keep getting good feedback on my writing. No clue if people will be clamoring for stories from me, but I might as well give it a shot; couldn't hurt, right? :) As my life is still a bit busy and I would feel horrible to have anyone waiting any extended time, I've decided to just open two slots to start with and see how that goes. The slots will be on a "first come, first serve" basis; for those interested, please read the info for "Story (Short)" in my Commission info and note me if you have any questions beforehand. This is all new to me, so expect a bit of back and forth as I try to find my footing in all this (and I thank all those interested in advance for their patience)!
EDIT: To make two things clear(er) - if you're interested in a story slot, please send a Note instead of a comment here, and give an idea of length (keep in mind the rate posted in my comm info)
---
SLOT 1:
SLOT 2:
My health hasn't improved much, mainly due to large amounts of stress with my job and the house renovations that have my partner on constant edge, which puts me on edge, leading to binges. Not proud of it, but still trying to find a way to get it all under control by the end of the year. I also haven't yet attempted any more artwork, but hopefully with things calming down a bit I will give it another go soon! As for the bondage fun... nope, nada, zip... well, not completely true, as I did have a small amount of fun at Further Confusion, but that's been it so far.
On a better note, I DID finally write another story, which was 'Cursed!'. I think it's my best furry story yet, and certainly the longest! It did have artwork (done by the amazing vir-no-vigoratus once more) to go with it, but in this case much of the story idea was already laid out before the artwork was drawn, unlike some of the previous ones I've done before.
On that note, I have decided to give a shot at doing story commissions, as I keep getting good feedback on my writing. No clue if people will be clamoring for stories from me, but I might as well give it a shot; couldn't hurt, right? :) As my life is still a bit busy and I would feel horrible to have anyone waiting any extended time, I've decided to just open two slots to start with and see how that goes. The slots will be on a "first come, first serve" basis; for those interested, please read the info for "Story (Short)" in my Commission info and note me if you have any questions beforehand. This is all new to me, so expect a bit of back and forth as I try to find my footing in all this (and I thank all those interested in advance for their patience)!
EDIT: To make two things clear(er) - if you're interested in a story slot, please send a Note instead of a comment here, and give an idea of length (keep in mind the rate posted in my comm info)
---
SLOT 1:
SLOT 2:
I'm At Further Confusion 2018!
Posted 6 years ago.... Just sayin'. That is all. :D
Further Confusion 2018
Posted 6 years agoSince I've never done one of these before, but several friends are doing it for the same con, I figured... what the heck! Looking forward to Further Confusion in a few days, and hope to meet up with friends and have some much needed fun! If you're there and you come across me, don't be afraid to say hello, as I don't bite... unless asked... ;)
Arrival and Departure
Will be checking in around 4pm on Thursday and heading off sometime before noon on Monday
Staying At
The Hilton
Means of Transportation
Getting there by car (since I'm only an hour away from San Jose anyhow!)
Sharing a Room With
keybladeraccoon, jpa2blue, shinfox and gdzeek ... at least that's the current list, hopefully everyone will make it safely!
Who Do You Hang Out With?
Pretty much anyone willing to hang out! While I'm shy, I tend to be sociable once I get to know folks.
Hoping to Meet / See Again
More people than I can recall right now; I know sometimes finding matching times can be tough, so I guess we'll see who I succeed in seeing!
Gender
Male.... *checks* Yep, definitely male.
What Do You Look Like?
Hmm... never though of anything particularly distinct about me, other than I keep being told I have the most beautiful brown eyes. Other than that, run of the mill holdover from the 80s (no not the gaudy clothed, massive hairdo kind, but the jeans and t-shirt kind :P ). If you look at my gallery here on FA, you'll actually see a real life picture of me... go find it! :D
How Old Are You?
47 (Yes, I'm one of the 'ancient' ones in the furry fandom ;) )
How Tall Are You?
5'10"
How Do You Pronounce Your Fursona's Name?
Well, hmm... if you're French, you probably will get it right the first time. :) But to pronounce 'Vaurien', the best I can do in words here for the Parisian French version (the one I use), it's close to 'VORE-ree-on' (the 'n' at the end is only partly pronounced - cut it off early and you've got it).
Are You an Artist?
I primarily write, but when I was young I used to draw and VERY recently I've picked it up again... but it's going to take a bit to be semi-decent at it.
Are You a Fursuiter?
While I have an interest in getting a partial suit as of recently, I currently am not one.
What's Your Fursuit?
Currently don't have one; see previous comment.
Attending Parties?
Hoping to find a few kink parties, as I could use the stress relief that comes with.. er.. "lack of movement". :D
Do You Drink?
Like a fish. :P Though more seriously, I am a social drinker.
Can I Buy You a Drink?
Mmaayyyyybe... depends on if there's intent behind it, and what that intent might be. ;)
Do You Smoke?
Only medicinal cannabis infrequently (helps with stress), but have never, ever touched cigarettes or cigars and never plan to do so.
Are You Attending Any Panels?
Once I see what there'll be, I might attend a few, given whether I'm busy at those times or not.
Stage or Public Performance?
Given I'm quite shy in crowds of people I don't know... HIGHLY unlikely.
How Do I Identify Myself to You?
If you could get some trumpets to note your arrival, along with a butler to announce you loudly... no, seriously, just come up and say hello. :P
Rules of Engagement (Physical Contact)?
If I know you well, even just from online, a big hug is a wonderful thing! For those less known or new, handshake is fine first, then if you ask for a hug, you will probably get it. :)
How Can I Find You?
Keep an eye out for a guy in jeans, t-shirt and long-sleeved jeans shirt with a bandana around his neck, and it's very likely me! But you can also find me on Telegram and Discord (just ask for names there).
Can I Talk to You?
Absolutely, but be warned: my favorite topics tend to revolve around geeky things.... or stuff not necessarily suitable in mixed company... or both. ;) But I do enjoy chatting.
Can I Give You Lots of Money?
I'm already really well off, so much prefer attention and fun than any sort of financial boost.
Can I Give You Stuff?
Well, depends on the kind of things, honestly.
Would You Like to Get a Commission Done of You (Fursona)?
Hmm, possibly! I've never had any custom conbadges done for myself, that might be cool. Always looking for artists whose style I enjoy to see their interpretation of my fursona!
Can I Hug or Snuggle With You?
Once I know someone, even just a bit, I very very very much love both of these things and almost always will gladly do them!
Can I Come to Dinner With You?
I much prefer company when I eat, so usually yes!
Can I Hang Out With You?
My main reason for attention this convention is to be around others, as it usually makes me feel really good, so absolutely!
Can I Take Your Picture?
Just quickly check with me first, but nearly all times the answer will be 'yes'.
How Do I Know If You're not Looking to Socialize (Angry, Busy or Upset)?
Nearly all of the time I'll be looking to socialize, but if I seem highly distracted, you might just want to check with me quick first. That being said, I don't expect that to happen much or at all. :)
Personality Type?
A bit introverted and quite shy, but once I'm comfortable around someone I'm extremely friendly (and with those who don't mind, quite affectionate) and can even be quite chatty... just gag me if I talk to much. :P
What's Your Goal For the Con This Year?
To forget about real life for a bit and have as much fun as I can, both tame and not-so-tame. ;) Also hoping to make new friends and connections in the community!
Arrival and Departure
Will be checking in around 4pm on Thursday and heading off sometime before noon on Monday
Staying At
The Hilton
Means of Transportation
Getting there by car (since I'm only an hour away from San Jose anyhow!)
Sharing a Room With
keybladeraccoon, jpa2blue, shinfox and gdzeek ... at least that's the current list, hopefully everyone will make it safely!
Who Do You Hang Out With?
Pretty much anyone willing to hang out! While I'm shy, I tend to be sociable once I get to know folks.
Hoping to Meet / See Again
More people than I can recall right now; I know sometimes finding matching times can be tough, so I guess we'll see who I succeed in seeing!
Gender
Male.... *checks* Yep, definitely male.
What Do You Look Like?
Hmm... never though of anything particularly distinct about me, other than I keep being told I have the most beautiful brown eyes. Other than that, run of the mill holdover from the 80s (no not the gaudy clothed, massive hairdo kind, but the jeans and t-shirt kind :P ). If you look at my gallery here on FA, you'll actually see a real life picture of me... go find it! :D
How Old Are You?
47 (Yes, I'm one of the 'ancient' ones in the furry fandom ;) )
How Tall Are You?
5'10"
How Do You Pronounce Your Fursona's Name?
Well, hmm... if you're French, you probably will get it right the first time. :) But to pronounce 'Vaurien', the best I can do in words here for the Parisian French version (the one I use), it's close to 'VORE-ree-on' (the 'n' at the end is only partly pronounced - cut it off early and you've got it).
Are You an Artist?
I primarily write, but when I was young I used to draw and VERY recently I've picked it up again... but it's going to take a bit to be semi-decent at it.
Are You a Fursuiter?
While I have an interest in getting a partial suit as of recently, I currently am not one.
What's Your Fursuit?
Currently don't have one; see previous comment.
Attending Parties?
Hoping to find a few kink parties, as I could use the stress relief that comes with.. er.. "lack of movement". :D
Do You Drink?
Like a fish. :P Though more seriously, I am a social drinker.
Can I Buy You a Drink?
Mmaayyyyybe... depends on if there's intent behind it, and what that intent might be. ;)
Do You Smoke?
Only medicinal cannabis infrequently (helps with stress), but have never, ever touched cigarettes or cigars and never plan to do so.
Are You Attending Any Panels?
Once I see what there'll be, I might attend a few, given whether I'm busy at those times or not.
Stage or Public Performance?
Given I'm quite shy in crowds of people I don't know... HIGHLY unlikely.
How Do I Identify Myself to You?
If you could get some trumpets to note your arrival, along with a butler to announce you loudly... no, seriously, just come up and say hello. :P
Rules of Engagement (Physical Contact)?
If I know you well, even just from online, a big hug is a wonderful thing! For those less known or new, handshake is fine first, then if you ask for a hug, you will probably get it. :)
How Can I Find You?
Keep an eye out for a guy in jeans, t-shirt and long-sleeved jeans shirt with a bandana around his neck, and it's very likely me! But you can also find me on Telegram and Discord (just ask for names there).
Can I Talk to You?
Absolutely, but be warned: my favorite topics tend to revolve around geeky things.... or stuff not necessarily suitable in mixed company... or both. ;) But I do enjoy chatting.
Can I Give You Lots of Money?
I'm already really well off, so much prefer attention and fun than any sort of financial boost.
Can I Give You Stuff?
Well, depends on the kind of things, honestly.
Would You Like to Get a Commission Done of You (Fursona)?
Hmm, possibly! I've never had any custom conbadges done for myself, that might be cool. Always looking for artists whose style I enjoy to see their interpretation of my fursona!
Can I Hug or Snuggle With You?
Once I know someone, even just a bit, I very very very much love both of these things and almost always will gladly do them!
Can I Come to Dinner With You?
I much prefer company when I eat, so usually yes!
Can I Hang Out With You?
My main reason for attention this convention is to be around others, as it usually makes me feel really good, so absolutely!
Can I Take Your Picture?
Just quickly check with me first, but nearly all times the answer will be 'yes'.
How Do I Know If You're not Looking to Socialize (Angry, Busy or Upset)?
Nearly all of the time I'll be looking to socialize, but if I seem highly distracted, you might just want to check with me quick first. That being said, I don't expect that to happen much or at all. :)
Personality Type?
A bit introverted and quite shy, but once I'm comfortable around someone I'm extremely friendly (and with those who don't mind, quite affectionate) and can even be quite chatty... just gag me if I talk to much. :P
What's Your Goal For the Con This Year?
To forget about real life for a bit and have as much fun as I can, both tame and not-so-tame. ;) Also hoping to make new friends and connections in the community!
Happy New Year, Folks!
Posted 6 years agoSince everyone else I know has been doing one, I figured "Why not?" :P :D
I'll be honest: I'm extremely glad that 2017 is over and hoping I can forget much of it. But that's not to say all of it was bad. I got to make some new friends and re-kindle old ones, and for that I'm very thankful. You all know who you are, and to you all I say: thank you for being in my life. It helped me through probably one of the darkest times of my life, and for that I will always be grateful. Hopefully 2018 will be a much happier year for me!
I'm sure people will ask: any resolutions for the new year? Usually I would say "Nope!", but this time, I'm going to shoot for a few:
- Improving my health: I've had a LOT of stress in my life this year and it's caused me to eat and drink more than I should. I'm finally getting that under control, but now I need to step it up and lose some weight along with exercising more. Let's see if by the end of 2018 I can get back down to my goal weight and get my blood pressure fully under control!
- Writing more: I started off the year strong, then about halfway through lost my muse again, but with me considering doing commissions, I need to break that dry run and get back to writing on a regular basis. It makes me feel good when I do, so I really have no excuse!
- Trying to do more artwork: I did one drawing a bit earlier in the year, but haven't made another attempt since. However, I had fun doing it, and the only way to get better is to keep doing it, so let's see if I can get some momentum with that as well!
- More bondage fun: this past year was REALLY dry for me in terms of having any sort of kinky fun, sexual or otherwise! Nothing helps me feel better than a snug straitjacket and loving arms holding me close and letting me just rest, so I need to try to get some more of that, along with the more explicit stuff as well... :D There's a lot of hope for some fun at Further Confusion in just a few weeks, so this one should be easy to accomplish, right? :D
I think that's good enough for me to try for this year, let's see how many I can reach! So to all of you, I say Happy New Year and I wish you a wonderful 2018!
- Vaurien (Ken)
I'll be honest: I'm extremely glad that 2017 is over and hoping I can forget much of it. But that's not to say all of it was bad. I got to make some new friends and re-kindle old ones, and for that I'm very thankful. You all know who you are, and to you all I say: thank you for being in my life. It helped me through probably one of the darkest times of my life, and for that I will always be grateful. Hopefully 2018 will be a much happier year for me!
I'm sure people will ask: any resolutions for the new year? Usually I would say "Nope!", but this time, I'm going to shoot for a few:
- Improving my health: I've had a LOT of stress in my life this year and it's caused me to eat and drink more than I should. I'm finally getting that under control, but now I need to step it up and lose some weight along with exercising more. Let's see if by the end of 2018 I can get back down to my goal weight and get my blood pressure fully under control!
- Writing more: I started off the year strong, then about halfway through lost my muse again, but with me considering doing commissions, I need to break that dry run and get back to writing on a regular basis. It makes me feel good when I do, so I really have no excuse!
- Trying to do more artwork: I did one drawing a bit earlier in the year, but haven't made another attempt since. However, I had fun doing it, and the only way to get better is to keep doing it, so let's see if I can get some momentum with that as well!
- More bondage fun: this past year was REALLY dry for me in terms of having any sort of kinky fun, sexual or otherwise! Nothing helps me feel better than a snug straitjacket and loving arms holding me close and letting me just rest, so I need to try to get some more of that, along with the more explicit stuff as well... :D There's a lot of hope for some fun at Further Confusion in just a few weeks, so this one should be easy to accomplish, right? :D
I think that's good enough for me to try for this year, let's see how many I can reach! So to all of you, I say Happy New Year and I wish you a wonderful 2018!
- Vaurien (Ken)
Made it to 200 watchers! (And pondering commissions)
Posted 6 years agoHoly sh... in just 10 months, I've doubled the number of watchers I have, and those first 100 took me 9 years to get to, so I think things are starting to move ahead just a bit faster! :D
I just wanted to thank all those who do follow me, and wanted to mention that I'm trying REALLY hard to get back to my writing. I started up again recently and then work got in the way, leaving me little time and energy, but with things slowing down a bit for the holiday, this should get a bit better. I know once I start writing again, I'll be able to keep momentum, just need to get my next story finished. *smile*
On that note, I have been considering taking commissions for stories, but still uncertain how I should proceed on that. Any opinions folks would have regarding that (like if I should go for it, what type of ground rules are good to lay out up front, amount to charge, etc.), I would be greatly appreciative.
- Vaurien (Ken)
I just wanted to thank all those who do follow me, and wanted to mention that I'm trying REALLY hard to get back to my writing. I started up again recently and then work got in the way, leaving me little time and energy, but with things slowing down a bit for the holiday, this should get a bit better. I know once I start writing again, I'll be able to keep momentum, just need to get my next story finished. *smile*
On that note, I have been considering taking commissions for stories, but still uncertain how I should proceed on that. Any opinions folks would have regarding that (like if I should go for it, what type of ground rules are good to lay out up front, amount to charge, etc.), I would be greatly appreciative.
- Vaurien (Ken)
Bandanimals Kickstarter - Please Support!
Posted 6 years agoI'm not normally one to post these sort of things, but this one is kind of near and dear to my heart, so... here's a link for Bandanimals!:
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....?ref=discovery
They only have 16 days left and aren't even halfway to their goal yet. If they don't make it, I would be seriously disappointed, as I have four of these from previous runs and these look to be even better, so please pledge! And if you know anyone who might like this, please pass it along!
Get the word out! :)
UPDATE: They made it! That is all. :D
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....?ref=discovery
They only have 16 days left and aren't even halfway to their goal yet. If they don't make it, I would be seriously disappointed, as I have four of these from previous runs and these look to be even better, so please pledge! And if you know anyone who might like this, please pass it along!
Get the word out! :)
UPDATE: They made it! That is all. :D