Holding onto ropes better left to fray. π
Posted a month agoI'm alive. Not necessarily well, but I am certainly still alive.
2023 was a doozy. 2024 hasn't exactly been good, either, but things are slowly starting to improve. I'm not exactly sure if I'm going to start becoming active here again or not any time soon, but I figured I'd give an update since I've popped in briefly from my hiatus. I still draw and do a lot of 3D tomfoolery, but it's mostly kept on DeviantArt and Instagram these days.
Anywhoozle... I don't really have anything else noteworthy to mention other than I'm still alive. I'ma go back to the hole in the wall that was made for me.
No... I'm not okay.
Posted a year agoI'm at a difficult point in my life right now. I don't want to go too far into detail as I'm still trying to process what's happened and grieve. All I'm going to say for now is that there's been an illness in my family for the last 3 months that ended yesterday afternoon. I'm not taking it too well. And I'm probably not going to take it well for a while, given the nature of what's happened. While we were able to prepare for what was to come physically, there was no way I could possibly prepare myself emotionally.
Fuck cancer.
Twenny Twenny-Three
Posted a year agoNo journal on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day 'cause I ended 2022 with a new job! I'm a waitress at one of my favorite nearby restaurants now.
My presence here had been minimized all last year because I had been looking for work, and I needed time away from the site in general. 2021 was insane what with undiagnosed food allergies ruling my life, finding out I was being used for instant gratification by someone I trusted who turned out to be obsessive and manipulative, and dealing with one hostile person who kept circumventing blocks to harass me. I keep saying I'm going to start uploading here again, but I haven't really committed and I'm not exactly sure when I'll do it. My priorities lay elsewhere at the moment.
Hope that 2023 will bring good things for y'all and your loved ones. I'm looking forward to seeing how the new year unfolds.
Merry Christmahanukwanzatide!!
Posted a year agoWishin' y'all and your loved ones a Happy Holidays! π€Άπβ
Ooh, profile banners?
Posted a year agoLooks like I'm gonna have to design one for myself and start posting again! I'm loooong overdue to flood your notifications with the art I've done over the last... what. 6 to 8 months? Idk, man, it's been a long-ass time since I've posted anything good. I lost interest here for a while, but I'd really like to change that!
lolol TRICK OR TREAT.
Posted a year agoHappy Halloween, y'all!
I know I hardly post here now. That may or may not change... I haven't decided yet. Hope y'all are having a wonderful spooky season!!
it's too smoky D:
Posted a year agoYou know the smoke from wildfires is atrociously thick when the surrounding mountains are practically invisible, the moon is orange, and the sun is a pink ball that you can stare at without issue.
Thankfully I don't live too close to the fires, despite them being just on the other side of Mt. Baker... but the amount of smoke we've got settled here is pretty damn concerning. I've never seen it this bad, honestly. My eyes hurt, my sinuses are itchy and irritated, and I refuse to do much exercise or hiking at the moment because the air quality is so horrific. This is the nastiest fire season I've seen in my 26 years of living.
It doesn't seem like we'll be getting any rain until the 18th or 19th, either. Who knows how much worse things will get.
About the YCH policy...
Posted a year agoI'm glad it was updated yet again with stricter rules. Sorry if you feel differently and if the new rules affect you--you're entitled to your opinion.
It gets really, really friggin' old having to sift through a bunch of unfinished/blank "reminders" just to look at actual artwork. YCH spam belongs on YCH.art. That site was made for a reason and people should friggin' use it, instead of drowning out the legit artists here on FA with their useless spam that no one looks at. Hands-down one of the reasons I've hardly been here, apart from sorting my life out now that I'm not vomiting relentlessly on the daily. I installed a keyword and artist-filtering addon specifically for FA just to make things a little more bearable when I actually do decide to browse submissions.
Anyway... yeah. Hello, y'all. I've got a fuck-ton of art that I've been meaning to upload, but I've been way too lazy to do it. π
Ohey. Art Fight!
Posted a year agoI've forgotten to announce that I'm doing Art Fight this year. I'm fightin' for Team Wither.
https://artfight.net/~Smacketeer
Add me, maybe draw one of my characters. I'll draw for you in return if you do!
Signal boost: NickDoesArts!
Posted a year agoNickDoesArts has unfortunately gotten laid off from his job not too long ago due to the financial crisis going on. I believe he takes commissions, so if you'd like to help out, shoot him a note/DM!
WHERE IS SHE?!
Posted 2 years ago...So much for that update journal at the start of the year, eh?
I was diagnosed with soy allergies back in December. I've had to cut a lot of my favorite foods from my diet, but I've been doing so much better in regards to health. I'm not feeling nauseated or puking on the daily like I had been. Just been taking care of my sick, aging parents and myself for the last several months. I'm looking for work now that I'm not chronically sick.
Still been drawing and doing dumb Blender renders, but I haven't felt too inclined to upload much here for the last... what, 3 months now? I'm mostly active over on Instagram these days. I've got stuff to share here, but not entirely sure when I'll stop putting it off. I apologize to anyone whose notes I haven't responded to in forever. D:
Just figured I'd drop a journal since I haven't in a long-ass time. I'm doing a'ight for the most part. Hope y'all are having a good 2022 thus far. C:
Twennysixfth Beffdai
Posted 2 years agoI've made it another year! I'm 26 years old today! OH, NO!!
I'll have a more detailed journal with life updates here soon. It's been a crazy month!
New yeauh~!
Posted 2 years agoHere's to 2022. Fuck last year and its fickle bullshit. π
I've finally gotten diagnoses on my stomach issues and I expect things will finally be looking up. Once I get a soy-and-dairy-free diet sorted out, I'll be looking for another job. Posting might be a little slower than it has been while I try getting certain aspects of my life together.
Merreh Chrimbo π
Posted 2 years agoMerry Christmas... or whatever you celebrate! If not, that's cool, too. I hope you're having a nice weekend regardless! π
fkcuk rain. goaway floodwater.
Posted 2 years agoGuess what...? My part of the US is expecting more rain. More rain, and more flooding.
Don't get me wrong--I love the PNW, but if Nov 13th was anything for me to go by, then that means we could potentially be in for even worse flooding. It's bad enough that thousands of people in the farmlands of Everson, Lynden, and Sumas are without homes presently. That number could possibly go up, and I really hope that it doesn't. I feel like we're in for a rough winter, judging how cold it's already been during the last month alone.
I'm pretty safe where I live since I'm in the mountains. Any "flooding" that happens in my yard is merely groundwater that collects in a gully that dissipates within several days, that never ends up reaching the house since it's on a slight incline. I'm a mile or three from the river, and nowhere close to any creeks or streams. My dad and me almost dying 2 weeks ago was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time (and the rescuers being at the right spot at the right time). If anything, I'm more worried about the power going out and having to find alternate sources of light to draw with. I've used most of the emergency candles I had the last times we've had outages. π
tahnks gviing
Posted 2 years agoHappy Turkey Day to those of y'all who celebrate it! :3
I might not always reply to comments, and I am incredibly bad at reading and replying to notes anymore... but I appreciate every one of my watchers regardless of if you actively interact with my work or not. Every view, comment, watch, and favorite means a lot to me.
I'm also incredibly thankful to have survived the nasty flooding that happened a week or two ago. Had it not been for a local equipment supplier, I'm pretty sure my dad and I would have become death statistics along with the one person who sadly lost his life. And it was by absolute coincidence that we had been rescued, too. Never did the song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" have more meaning to me in that moment; November brings with it some of the worst storms that catch you when your guard's at its lowest. You never think that things are that bad until it's right there happening to you.
craziest floods ever.
Posted 2 years agoI didn't say anything earlier in the week because, well... I was away from home. Northwest Washington faced some of the most insane flooding it's seen in 30 years and my dad and I were caught in the middle of it. We were on our way back from the ER when one of the levees broke and a surge of floodwater swept our pickup out into a berry field. Thankfully there were guys in tractors who managed to rescue us before it was carried off. One guy actually died about 6 hours after we were saved. My dad and I were holed up at a church for a few days until it was safe for Mom to get us. Brother said he told us not to do it and that he was right. π
I'm safe at home now and so is my father. It's taught us both to never try fording floods even if you think it's safe. You're better off staying at home unless you're directly in the way of imminent danger.
what a time to be alive, yeah?
Posted 2 years agoHumans are a wonderful species, are we not? π
Raffle/Donation Pool for Steidonn!
Posted 2 years agoI've signal-boosted steidonn before, and I'm doing it again because they could still use the financial help for hospital expenses! They create some beautiful work and are still several hundred dollars short of their goal. Even if you're unable to commission, a simple donation to their GoFundMe would be incredibly beneficial. β€
Raffle journal and information
The GoFundMe Campaign
Of capsaicin and crotches: a short Zostrix tale
Posted 2 years agoThe description of my most recent Lucy drawing made me remember something. I like to joke around about using capsaicin cream as lube on deserving people, or about its potential uses in BDSM. It's actually something that Lucy's abusive sister Ellie likes to use on her own partners... but none of this is the point of the journal.
As some of you may or may not know, I deal with stomach issues on quite a regular basis. Nausea and vomiting are a chronic issue, and as a means of providing potential relief, one of the doctors at the ER prescribed me a tube of Zostrix to smear on my belly to act as a sort of heating pad. Zostrix is, in essence, 0.02% pure capsaicin cream... capsaicin, which is the chemical responsible for making chili peppers hot. I apply it with disposable gloves so I needn't worry about accidentally touching my eyes or face with it.
One thing to note is that you should always make sure to wipe that shit off with a wet cloth before you take a shower. I'm an idiot and forgot one of the last times I was having a sick bout, and you can probably imagine what happened. Damn shit got wet and ran down my belly and into the nether-regions. Got out of the shower wondering why in the hell my crotch was quite literally on fire. I sustained no burns, but I still had to sit on an ice pack for a while to make the pain go away.
So... yeah. Don't be me. If you happen to be prescribed Zostrix for pain relief, be careful with that shit. Wash it off before you shower unless you like your cash 'n' prizes to feel like there is a match being held beneath them. π
One of those weirdly stupid moments.
Posted 2 years agoI'm having one of those moments where I can't stand one of my own creations.
Lately I've been having this conundrum on what to do with Lucy's sister, Ellie... and please, don't feel bad if you don't know who I'm talking about; I seldom draw her because she's probably the worst of my characters in more ways than one. I haven't really done much with her since 2018 or so, and simply put, it's because I've taken her development into a direction that I thought could be fun, but in the end has made her (in my eyes) an edgy Mary-Sue who needs desperately to be rewritten. I'm bad at writing fantasy/occult characters, and that's exactly what I was trying to make her... on top of a vile drug-lord who also had a hand in edgier, grittier things. (Not to mention, I was trying to write an entire species of vampire. It was THAT BAD.) Starting with subjects pertaining to my own weird tastes, I was trying to open myself up to more controversial topics so I could potentially take commissions involving them, but ended up creating anxiety and this weird discomfort in my mind. I believe people can enjoy whatever they want within the realm of fantasy and art, but I can't unironically and with a straight face bring myself to make things that involve rape, even if the "victim" character is guilty of abhorrent things... or not without feeling anxious because of conflicting feelings. I like joking about and satirizing dark subjects at times, but I can't bring myself to unironically draw or put much effort towards 'em.
That being said... I don't plan on scrapping or getting rid of Ellie (or "Edalyn," as I would sometimes call her). She's still gonna be Lucy's negative counterpart who desperately needs an ass-kicking for being an abusive, sadistic cunt, but she ain't gonna be a drug-lord, nor is she going to be a heavy-duty slaver. The few slave characters I had created for the purpose of her dinky harem are still gonna be slaves by contract, but they're gonna belong to this handsome devil that I adopted a long while ago... and when I revamp him, his equally-handsome green dragon husbando. Having done gift art for friends makes me wanna experiment more with scalies and other species that I never draw. I'm a stagnant turd that needs to leave its comfort zone, anyway... within reasonable boundaries.
It's 5am. I needed to ramble and get that off my chest. Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
trick or treat biznitch
Posted 2 years agoHappy Halloweeners, y'all! π
Dem wheels be turnin', guys.
Posted 2 years agoI'm trying my hand at making more custom content for Sims 4 again. It's gonna be goddamn Star Fox-themed this time, centered around Star Fox: Assault. Also might do some Adventures-themed stuff, too, but we'll see.
I've been pretty proud of the driving gloves I quickly threw together 5 months ago in May, and I wanna try my hand at something a little more difficult now. We'll see how far along I come to succeeding. Given the fact that I'm in the midst of texturing my own model of Lucy at the moment, creating custom content should be able to give me some decent experience with my own originally-produced models in the future. π
On the subject of ref sheets...
Posted 2 years agoThat might be something I eventually open up for when I can get my health back to a dependable-enough state for commissions again.
Nothing fancy, mind you; they would be something like this, but with color and (optional) genital and other body-part references included with the drawing. Of course I'm willing to do furry characters, and scalies and avians will also be subjects I'm willing to work with. I want to grow past my comfort zone and try more advanced things because I am burnt-out doing the same rehashed stuff over and over.
3D is opening up a whole new world of possibilities for me to work with... and in more ways than one, as well. I may even have an industry-level career at some point in the future. When I get good enough, I would love to model other peoples' characters for 'em to use in their own works if they so wish. There's already one or two of my mutual followers whose fursonas I wanna model in Blender, but first I wanna make sure I'm comfortable enough with my skill set... and I also wanna ask permission from these particular people (you'll know who you are when I reach out to you π).
As of now they're just thoughts I've been having lately. But I do remember in the past having seen people I'm mutuals with wanting ref-sheets for their fursonas, but at the time I didn't feel confident enough to offer my services. Now I feel confident enough and eventually would love to do ref sheet commissions.
DeviantArt is a joke at this point.
Posted 2 years agoWanna renew my Core Membership on my main account so I can get faster response times with help tickets... but the site prevents only my main from being able to purchase one. If I login to an older account that I've long since abandoned, I have the options to buy and enter my card details. I also can try gifting my main a Core, but am prevented right at the final step because an error pops up saying I'm "already a Core member" when neither my main nor the abandoned alt have recently paid for one.
Why in the hell was I sent an email saying they wanted me to renew last month in August if they're not even gonna give me the option now? These thunderfucks have members willing to literally throw money their way, and they don't even want it. They put a wall up either before you can do anything, or after you're right at the final step. π€
If any of you are wondering why I'm even still on DeviantArt... I haven't the slightest clue, either. I hate the submission interface, and the majority of activity I get are all from hijacked accounts that get banned days after they fave something of mine. On top of that, my audience there wants purely squeaky-clean SFW content, which I can't fully commit to because I'm one of those bimbos who finds it necessary to lace my galleries with adult-themed subject matter because it's what I like. But I don't necessarily want to deactivate or "leave" because, as much as I dislike what it's become over the last 15 years, I still consider it my "home gallery." And I also still respect and love my audience there even if they only want my SFW content.
Idk, man. I still love the site because it was the catalyst for who I've become now... I just hate what it's become and how money-hungry the staff and execs are. Why treat your customers like dog shit when they're literally willing to throw money at you?