No Subject
Posted 4 months ago(TW: A Very Rambly Vent)
I... really wish I didn't see my personal value in my ability to pump out content...
it's not even a selfless thing, i find myself very selfish at times, certainly recently, not wanting to talk to people, not wanting to draw commissions.
And yet, I have succeeded. I've succeeded where many my age and older failed. I have a following drawing art for the last 10+ years, I have many great friends who love and care for me and I make enough to survive comfortably... so why do I struggle with being happy?
I have been told many times that burnout is understandable, and not to beat myself up over it... but what happens when it's one of the few things that gives your life meaning? It does not shock me at all that I find myself leaning on substances and alcohol to NOT think about it.
Hell, one of my resolutions this year is to drop weed because it fucks up my diet and leaves me in a state of deeper self hatred, internally screaming "STOP EATING! STOP! YOU'RE RUINING WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISHED! THINK OF THE 30 POUNDS YOU LOST!" as I down another bag of chips.
Yes, I know the irony of THIS account's owner being concerned with her weight, I've already made that remark about being a vegan/vegetarian drawing vore. Please spare me the jokes.
Normally, they are funny, they aren't right now.
I worry sometimes that I am returning to being that misanthropic piece of shit that i had to ---- in me years ago. I worry that deep down, I may see my friends as just collectibles, to showcase as some pathetic example of "look at me, I know people, I'm a cool bitch, haha! B)"
I sometimes worry that those who have been good to me, who have welcomed me into their lives (hell in some cases, literally welcomed me into their homes) are just humoring me. Just taking pity on a foolish jackass who fumbled her way into some trace of status.
I know a lot of those worries are just fucking unfounded bullshit, i DO appreciate every single follow, every single like, every single friend, every single compliment and criticism... but god, does that part of my head make it hard to accept...
I know there's a term for this, but i got nothing right now.
The worst part is that so many of my issues would subside if i just picked up the pen, or the guitar, or FL Studio, or even a controller, because even playing a game is productive to me... but I don't always wanna.
Please don't worry like... WORRY worry for me. I may not value my own life much, but I don't devalue life as a whole. I wanna keep living, and I will. I just don't know what the fuck to do half the time...
Sorry for subjecting you all to this. I just have a lot of shit on my mind. If you read all this, I thank you.
For your patience, for your care, for your willingness to deal with my bullshit. I love you all, and you're all awesome.
Keep embracing your cringe~
-Xoe
I... really wish I didn't see my personal value in my ability to pump out content...
it's not even a selfless thing, i find myself very selfish at times, certainly recently, not wanting to talk to people, not wanting to draw commissions.
And yet, I have succeeded. I've succeeded where many my age and older failed. I have a following drawing art for the last 10+ years, I have many great friends who love and care for me and I make enough to survive comfortably... so why do I struggle with being happy?
I have been told many times that burnout is understandable, and not to beat myself up over it... but what happens when it's one of the few things that gives your life meaning? It does not shock me at all that I find myself leaning on substances and alcohol to NOT think about it.
Hell, one of my resolutions this year is to drop weed because it fucks up my diet and leaves me in a state of deeper self hatred, internally screaming "STOP EATING! STOP! YOU'RE RUINING WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISHED! THINK OF THE 30 POUNDS YOU LOST!" as I down another bag of chips.
Yes, I know the irony of THIS account's owner being concerned with her weight, I've already made that remark about being a vegan/vegetarian drawing vore. Please spare me the jokes.
Normally, they are funny, they aren't right now.
I worry sometimes that I am returning to being that misanthropic piece of shit that i had to ---- in me years ago. I worry that deep down, I may see my friends as just collectibles, to showcase as some pathetic example of "look at me, I know people, I'm a cool bitch, haha! B)"
I sometimes worry that those who have been good to me, who have welcomed me into their lives (hell in some cases, literally welcomed me into their homes) are just humoring me. Just taking pity on a foolish jackass who fumbled her way into some trace of status.
I know a lot of those worries are just fucking unfounded bullshit, i DO appreciate every single follow, every single like, every single friend, every single compliment and criticism... but god, does that part of my head make it hard to accept...
I know there's a term for this, but i got nothing right now.
The worst part is that so many of my issues would subside if i just picked up the pen, or the guitar, or FL Studio, or even a controller, because even playing a game is productive to me... but I don't always wanna.
Please don't worry like... WORRY worry for me. I may not value my own life much, but I don't devalue life as a whole. I wanna keep living, and I will. I just don't know what the fuck to do half the time...
Sorry for subjecting you all to this. I just have a lot of shit on my mind. If you read all this, I thank you.
For your patience, for your care, for your willingness to deal with my bullshit. I love you all, and you're all awesome.
Keep embracing your cringe~
-Xoe
Current events going on with me at this time.
Posted 2 years agoFor those who don't follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/thevorebin), you generally wouldn't know some of the more personal matters that have been affecting me lately, so... there's a very good chance I have Carpal Tunnel as a result of art, as well as overworking myself at work and not taking breaks when I really should, which, for an artist, is uhhhhh... not baller.
Luckily, it's not permanent, and if I just take it easy with art for a while, it should heal itself over time, so that's the game plan.
Luckily, it's not permanent, and if I just take it easy with art for a while, it should heal itself over time, so that's the game plan.
TheVoreBin Returns... kinda.
Posted 5 years agohttps://twitter.com/thevorebin
I might not be doing pony artwork anymore, but maybe I'll answer a few questions here and there with artwork. Just another option to see what I'm up to is all c:
I might not be doing pony artwork anymore, but maybe I'll answer a few questions here and there with artwork. Just another option to see what I'm up to is all c:
The gif's captions is the title
Posted 5 years agohttps://i.imgur.com/IPAc1CV.gif
a friend of mine has helped me get a new tablet, and I shall be drawing again very soon! In the meantime, I have a few rough sketches I'll be posting. They aren't amazing, but they introduce another new gal of mine, and I think you'll like them... if you can deal with my shitty drawing, of course~
a friend of mine has helped me get a new tablet, and I shall be drawing again very soon! In the meantime, I have a few rough sketches I'll be posting. They aren't amazing, but they introduce another new gal of mine, and I think you'll like them... if you can deal with my shitty drawing, of course~
Hey, you? Yeah, you!
Posted 5 years agoYou like ponies? You like vore? You like pony vore? If so, then do I have the onoxiously large foler of content for you. following the link below will take you to my dropbox, that has been filled with all the posts i never posted to anything but Tumblr, of my old NSFW blog, thevorebin. If you wanna see where Mulberry, Bera/Kuda, Xoe, and Saturn were first concieved, these are the pics for you, as well as a few randoms as well. owo/
Enjoy~
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4eyubqjj.....F2mRHf1wa?dl=0
Enjoy~
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4eyubqjj.....F2mRHf1wa?dl=0
So... lemme explain Aria...
Posted 6 years ago Aria is a bisexual, loud-mouthed, beer-guzzling Brit of a Weasel who has been a bit of an unexplained character for way too long in my stuff, so allow me to explain her a bit more.
After years as a gang member, causing trouble left and right, and finally having enough of that life, she moved away to Ironstalk, the same town that Vali, Nothing, Phulph, etc. live. However, when she got to Ironstalk, she’d found out that she had been seen there on and off for years at that point. Eventually, she tracked the imposter back to the house of Val, Nothing, and Phluph, the latter and former of which have some explaining to do.
You see, Vali needed a disguise to avoid the paparazzi, as she, as well as her best friend/rival, Anna were indeed sports celebrities to many. So when the honey badger hired her roommate/friend Phluph to make her a disguise, she didn’t realize how much of an artist’s block Phluph was having, and Phluph was too kind to let her friend down, so, after finding an article about a weasel in England… well, you get the point.
After a little scuffle, as well as a long explanation, Vali decided that she’d retire the disguise, and Aria would take it back. They become good acquaintances from then on, and Aria will also help Vali out if she can, as well as vice versa.
Another thing to note about Aria is how her preference on girls, especially other preds, effects her, as she could be completely fine one moment, and reduce to a blushy mess if she comes across a teasing lass with a tummy full of prey~ >//w//>
After years as a gang member, causing trouble left and right, and finally having enough of that life, she moved away to Ironstalk, the same town that Vali, Nothing, Phulph, etc. live. However, when she got to Ironstalk, she’d found out that she had been seen there on and off for years at that point. Eventually, she tracked the imposter back to the house of Val, Nothing, and Phluph, the latter and former of which have some explaining to do.
You see, Vali needed a disguise to avoid the paparazzi, as she, as well as her best friend/rival, Anna were indeed sports celebrities to many. So when the honey badger hired her roommate/friend Phluph to make her a disguise, she didn’t realize how much of an artist’s block Phluph was having, and Phluph was too kind to let her friend down, so, after finding an article about a weasel in England… well, you get the point.
After a little scuffle, as well as a long explanation, Vali decided that she’d retire the disguise, and Aria would take it back. They become good acquaintances from then on, and Aria will also help Vali out if she can, as well as vice versa.
Another thing to note about Aria is how her preference on girls, especially other preds, effects her, as she could be completely fine one moment, and reduce to a blushy mess if she comes across a teasing lass with a tummy full of prey~ >//w//>
So... guess I gotta start over?
Posted 8 years agoHey folks, I am Xodiaq, or you may have known me as just Xodi .
However, it seems that AOL may or may not be dogshit and it may or may not be eating my emails from FA, even though I have both emails in my contacts, so I guess... screw it?
I'm fine starting over, and I honestly don't think FA is to blame, as quirky as it can be, but it IS annoying.
Meh...
However, it seems that AOL may or may not be dogshit and it may or may not be eating my emails from FA, even though I have both emails in my contacts, so I guess... screw it?
I'm fine starting over, and I honestly don't think FA is to blame, as quirky as it can be, but it IS annoying.
Meh...