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~jollux
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Comments Made: 641
Journals: 22
Featured Journal
Thanks.
3 months ago
Greetings.
I haven't visited any social media for weeks, even months. I didn't reply to messages, I didn't contact anyone.
It's time to give you the explanations that you, my followers, deserve.
At the beginning of January, I faced health problems caused by both accidental events and overwork. My mental health has always been a shaky variable, and I felt that it was starting to deteriorate too. I didn't have enough money to support myself and receive medical care, so I started taking 'random' commissions so that I would have at least some money. These orders quickly became long lasting liabilities for me. I expected to finish them fast with artistic freedom I allowed myself to have, but it quickly started to feel like a burden.
I realized that in 4 years of my activity as an artist, I have never had a full vacation. I draw almost seven days a week and always try to get better. I really love it, but what I'm facing is called burnout. No matter how hard I try, I'm getting closer to the point of no return, beyond which lies fatigue and hatred for what I'm doing. The less strength I have, the slower and worse I work, and this has been going on for a long time. This all happend both bc of my perfectionist attitude and lack of discipline and I am fully aware this is all my fault.
I decided to completely change my field of activity, get training and get a new job, off the Internet. I know it's not going to be easy, and it's going to take a long time too. I feel like I need a really long break from drawing in order to stop hating that and myself, and realize myself in addition to orders in personal projects, as I always wanted.
I feel like I've let you all down, and I feel ashamed and bad about it. I sincerely apologize to all of you who have already been waiting for your commission for too long. Without a doubt, I have to finish each one, and I will do it. The only thing I want to say is that the deadline is becoming completely indefinite. I need to learn a new profession from scratch, stepping into the unknown, I'm scared, I have no strength or financial safety cushion. But I'll do it anyway. And I fully understand my responsibility to those who still expect me to do a job well done. I do not know where to find the time and energy for this right now, but as far as possible, I will finish current promised commissions one by one.
I am truly very sorry. I promise to finish what I have to do. I can't promise that it will be fast.
Commissions are currently closed indefinitely.
A google sheet where you can track the status of your commissions:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet.....it?usp=sharing
Thank you for reading this.
P.S.: Some of you may want to get a refund. It is possible with boosty, however, I have to warn you that this service may ban you if you do that. I am not going to stop you from refund, if you want it. I totally understand and you will get money back that way. But it is my responsibility to tell you about ban policy there. Please, message me so I know if I should try finish your commission or not if you choose this path.
I haven't visited any social media for weeks, even months. I didn't reply to messages, I didn't contact anyone.
It's time to give you the explanations that you, my followers, deserve.
At the beginning of January, I faced health problems caused by both accidental events and overwork. My mental health has always been a shaky variable, and I felt that it was starting to deteriorate too. I didn't have enough money to support myself and receive medical care, so I started taking 'random' commissions so that I would have at least some money. These orders quickly became long lasting liabilities for me. I expected to finish them fast with artistic freedom I allowed myself to have, but it quickly started to feel like a burden.
I realized that in 4 years of my activity as an artist, I have never had a full vacation. I draw almost seven days a week and always try to get better. I really love it, but what I'm facing is called burnout. No matter how hard I try, I'm getting closer to the point of no return, beyond which lies fatigue and hatred for what I'm doing. The less strength I have, the slower and worse I work, and this has been going on for a long time. This all happend both bc of my perfectionist attitude and lack of discipline and I am fully aware this is all my fault.
I decided to completely change my field of activity, get training and get a new job, off the Internet. I know it's not going to be easy, and it's going to take a long time too. I feel like I need a really long break from drawing in order to stop hating that and myself, and realize myself in addition to orders in personal projects, as I always wanted.
I feel like I've let you all down, and I feel ashamed and bad about it. I sincerely apologize to all of you who have already been waiting for your commission for too long. Without a doubt, I have to finish each one, and I will do it. The only thing I want to say is that the deadline is becoming completely indefinite. I need to learn a new profession from scratch, stepping into the unknown, I'm scared, I have no strength or financial safety cushion. But I'll do it anyway. And I fully understand my responsibility to those who still expect me to do a job well done. I do not know where to find the time and energy for this right now, but as far as possible, I will finish current promised commissions one by one.
I am truly very sorry. I promise to finish what I have to do. I can't promise that it will be fast.
Commissions are currently closed indefinitely.
A google sheet where you can track the status of your commissions:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet.....it?usp=sharing
Thank you for reading this.
P.S.: Some of you may want to get a refund. It is possible with boosty, however, I have to warn you that this service may ban you if you do that. I am not going to stop you from refund, if you want it. I totally understand and you will get money back that way. But it is my responsibility to tell you about ban policy there. Please, message me so I know if I should try finish your commission or not if you choose this path.
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mentally I'm somewhere in between clint eastwood movie and old shoujo manga
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