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~Nakoo
Australian | Adult | they/them | ♋ | Pansexual | Multifandom
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Stats
Comments Earned: 7674
Comments Made: 8132
Journals: 7
Comments Made: 8132
Journals: 7
Recent Journal
Hello; commissions
a month ago
Recently I spoke to some friends and therapist. They helped me to understand something that I’ve had trouble to understand.
At the moment I believe I have complex grief related to commissions I owe. The pieces I accepted in November 22 were used to pay to have my cat put down and cremated. It was not my intention to use the funds from these pieces before they were finished but the situation was that I had to.
I now understand that I am extremely resentful to these artworks that I have to do. I need to not do them.
But, I used the money. My hoping to save up to refund the money, didn’t work as the job I got in December candled my contract with no communication. Then I had another job but it didn’t pay yet and now I lost that job, and I crashed my car… I am trying to find more work... u_u
At this time I don’t want to take on more commissions. I’ve failed to do the promised work. I don’t deserve to be trusted. But I feel out of options to work to refund the pieces I have to refund.
I want to refund everyone with interest and some additional amount to replay. That is my wish, but at this time I feel like my only option is to accept commissions to repay these piece or to ask for new pieces to create for those who I owe work to. My struggle to communicate makes everything so much harder, but I hope and try to do better.
All this to say.
I am sorry.
At the moment I believe I have complex grief related to commissions I owe. The pieces I accepted in November 22 were used to pay to have my cat put down and cremated. It was not my intention to use the funds from these pieces before they were finished but the situation was that I had to.
I now understand that I am extremely resentful to these artworks that I have to do. I need to not do them.
But, I used the money. My hoping to save up to refund the money, didn’t work as the job I got in December candled my contract with no communication. Then I had another job but it didn’t pay yet and now I lost that job, and I crashed my car… I am trying to find more work... u_u
At this time I don’t want to take on more commissions. I’ve failed to do the promised work. I don’t deserve to be trusted. But I feel out of options to work to refund the pieces I have to refund.
I want to refund everyone with interest and some additional amount to replay. That is my wish, but at this time I feel like my only option is to accept commissions to repay these piece or to ask for new pieces to create for those who I owe work to. My struggle to communicate makes everything so much harder, but I hope and try to do better.
All this to say.
I am sorry.
Nahyon