Welcome

It's 2020! I... pretty much dropped off the map with you guys, didn't I. Sorry haha.

In December 2019, I announced that I was leaving Patreon because the art I love to do isn't valued or protected by their guidelines, and although I was never reported, too many artists like me have been over the past year, so I knew I'd eventually get hit too. The stress of that waiting game killed my productivity and really hurt my relationship with my work, so I decided to leave before it got any worse.

I've been fairly quiet about my art the past year. I said in that journal I'd be exploring lots of different things throughout 2019, and I did post some of it, but I also didn't want to bring too much attention to myself, lest Patreon come down on me. Now that I don't have to worry about being "ad-friendly" for them, I want to properly embrace the kinky art I do.

- What happened

I have no idea what people know or have heard - I've had people tell me some interesting versions of events - since I took down the announcement itself a few days after I made it, so here are the two biggest things I announced.

- Fewer per-image content warnings

I'm going to move away from per-image warnings, and toward a single blanket warning on my userpage, website, etc. From now on, I will no longer warn for feral, incest, dubious-consent, and some non-consent, in the titles of my FA submissions. FA has no tag blocklist features, so if you don't want those in your inbox, you will need to unwatch me.

Gore and hard/brutal non-con are the exceptions. Not everyone wants to see giblets and suffering for breakfast, so they will still get warnings in the title haha.

- Exploring new themes

On top of everything I already draw, I'd like to explore two new things.

The first is the “trap” trope. I've had a trap character, Trish, for ages, so this is not actually new, I just stopped calling him that due to external pressures. In December, I said I wasn't sure if I would start using it in everyday speech, but after thinking about it, I've decided that I will. Trap characters are a specific gender-play fantasy; I like them, I like exploring my gender that way, but lots of people don't, and it's much harder for them to avoid it if I refuse to even say the word.

I've been told I should use "trans" or "intersex," instead, but those are not interchangeable with "trap." Trans and intersex people have worked hard to separate these words and concepts from trap fantasies, cross-dressing, herms, and so on - please stop encouraging me to not only undo their progress, but intentionally mislead people, by using them inappropriately.

If my characters are trans, rest assured, I'll call them trans. This character is not.

The second is young/cub characters and age-gap pairings. This is what most of the backlash was about. It's already present in some of my characters' backgrounds, but it's something I want to get further into; I like it. I think it's cute and fun and has a lot of potential for the stories I would enjoy telling. The chance that you'll see it if you don't actively look for it is very low. It won't be on FA, [since it's not allowed here anyhow].

- Backlash

When I opened up about all of this, I expected some backlash, absolutely - I'm very aware of the general consensus on themes like this - but what I actually got was a lot more than that. Here are some of the things that happened:

- Friends and colleagues of mine were harassed for following, knowing, or "defending" (in this case, not disowning) me
- Rumors were spread about me and my partners
- I received violent threats and death wishes
- At least two people bragged about reporting me to government agencies

And some other things I'm forgetting, I'm sure.

People also attacked my income by reporting one of the pages I was using to let people support my work, assumedly claiming that I have images of real minors (I don't), or that the work I want to do is illegal ([it isn't], [really], and [we shouldn't want it to be]), and I was locked down for about a month sorting that out, hence the disappearance here.

I've thought about what happened, and what I might do differently if I had the chance, but I also feel confident that this would have happened no matter what I did. The point of my announcement was so that people know about it, but, unfortunately, I've been so reserved about what I like and how I feel that many people projected their own values onto me. They had their own idea of who I was, and going against that made them feel personally attacked - a lot of people expressed feelings of betrayal, or said things like "I thought you were one of the goods ones," even though they didn't know me at all.

If you're one of those people, I get it. You don't need to justify how you feel, you don't have to like or forgive me, and I'm not going to try and convince you of anything (unless you ask me to, I suppose). You don't owe me anything.

I wanted to make this journal so people could know what happened, but beyond that, all I want is to move forward. I took a big financial hit, not to mention the time and energy spent, and it wasn't only stressful to me - the abusive tactics people used were traumatic for both my partners to witness. I feel like we've been through enough, that's all.

Thankfully, things are pretty much back to normal - making this journal was one of the last things I wanted to do regarding all this.

- Who I am

I draw, enjoy, and will stand up for taboo/gross/disturbing/"problematic" art and fiction. It has value, and I'm going to talk about it, both in a fun and smutty way, and in more somber and serious ways. The entire conversation is intertwined with my work.

I believe in empathy, patience, and compassion. I care about abuse prevention, and I think education and resources are what can make our community safer. Attacking art that makes us uncomfortable is not activism, to me. It does nothing to protect us or to stop people from inflicting or suffering pain. I've only seen it spread fear and shame, two incredibly damaging forces, and keep us ignorant and vulnerable to abuse. I don't know everything, and I don't claim to, I'm just doing the best I can with what I've learned so far in life.

I don't promise to be a safe space for you, or to do things the way you think they should be done. Only you can do that. I do promise not to dehumanize anyone, no matter who they are. That's just my line. Human rights aren't optional.

If you want to talk to me about any of this, then I would love to talk to you, too, even if you don't agree with me. AlI I ask is for patience and the benefit of the doubt - a bit of good faith. I'll give you the same.

- Supporting my work in 2020

I still plan to post a lot of my art publicly! However, I'm not going to be using Patreon - instead, I'm allowing people to support me directly in a few different ways.

If you like my work, you can always tip me with a with ko-fi, or buy something from my Gumroad shop. If you want to do even more, you can [send me a note] and ask how to become a monthly supporter. You'll get access to all the things I used to offer on Patreon - art updates as soon as they're available, WiPs, sketches, an archive of recent high-res files, and an invite to a private Discord server.

Even if you have no cash to spare (I can relate, haha), I would still love the chance to hear from you and thank you, if you think what I do is important, or has benefited you in some way. Just [note me], or get ahold of me some other way.

Despite all the bad in December, I met a lot of wonderful and kind people, and you are who I want to focus on, because you're the reason I have the opportunities I do. I love being an artist and I love this fandom, and I want to spread that positivity to others.

♥