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Recent Journal
Faulty Memory
12 years ago
The human memory is amazing.
It can recall things from years past
and we can forget things that were mere moments ago.
But for me...I wonder just what my memory is.
Is it the truth? Or is it a lie? A fabrication of my imagination to fill in the gaps I've forgotten?
There have been many times where I realized I lied about a past event without even realizing it until I found the proof, or found something that refreshed my memory to correct detail.
It bothers me sometimes, because while it seems to only happen with things that are short term...are there long term memories that have been reshaped by my own mind so I forget something bad? Or perhaps to make it funny so that it isn't as painful?
What have I forgotten that has made me who I am? Or that I've forgotten so that it isn't painful anymore?
I fear this sometimes because I don't want to lose anything important about my past, and yet...I'm human. My mind will protect itself, even at the cost of who I am, and perhaps even without my knowledge, and most definitely without my wanting it to. At least...not consciously.
I've debated with myself many times about seeing a psychologist. But even when that argument ends up with me deciding to do so...well, being on the side of people with little income and practically no savings...can't do it. Though I should probably get a full physical checkup first, since I haven't had one in 5 years, once I can afford it.
Yeah..that's right. I haven't had a physical checkup in over 5 years. Haven't seen a dentist either. Who knows what kind of shape I'm really in that my body hasn't decided to tell me about yet.
5 years since I've had a my eyes checked too. My BCG's from the Navy are finally giving out. The left earpiece won't even sit on my ear anymore. And I can't afford that either. Of course, if they fail completely, I won't be able to drive until I get them fixed. At least...not legally.
The good news is that I can still work despite all this, and if I can save enough, with this new job, I can finally look forward to all the nice things i can buy myself.
New glasses
A doctor's appointment.
A dentist appointment [I'd like to have my teeth still when I hit 70+ ]
And maybe, just maybe, I'll get to move away from this town I can't stand anymore, and get to be with my mate.
But first things first, I need to make sure I can see, and make sure I don't have any problems that could cause major issues in the future if not looked after.
That is...if I can remember to.
It can recall things from years past
and we can forget things that were mere moments ago.
But for me...I wonder just what my memory is.
Is it the truth? Or is it a lie? A fabrication of my imagination to fill in the gaps I've forgotten?
There have been many times where I realized I lied about a past event without even realizing it until I found the proof, or found something that refreshed my memory to correct detail.
It bothers me sometimes, because while it seems to only happen with things that are short term...are there long term memories that have been reshaped by my own mind so I forget something bad? Or perhaps to make it funny so that it isn't as painful?
What have I forgotten that has made me who I am? Or that I've forgotten so that it isn't painful anymore?
I fear this sometimes because I don't want to lose anything important about my past, and yet...I'm human. My mind will protect itself, even at the cost of who I am, and perhaps even without my knowledge, and most definitely without my wanting it to. At least...not consciously.
I've debated with myself many times about seeing a psychologist. But even when that argument ends up with me deciding to do so...well, being on the side of people with little income and practically no savings...can't do it. Though I should probably get a full physical checkup first, since I haven't had one in 5 years, once I can afford it.
Yeah..that's right. I haven't had a physical checkup in over 5 years. Haven't seen a dentist either. Who knows what kind of shape I'm really in that my body hasn't decided to tell me about yet.
5 years since I've had a my eyes checked too. My BCG's from the Navy are finally giving out. The left earpiece won't even sit on my ear anymore. And I can't afford that either. Of course, if they fail completely, I won't be able to drive until I get them fixed. At least...not legally.
The good news is that I can still work despite all this, and if I can save enough, with this new job, I can finally look forward to all the nice things i can buy myself.
New glasses
A doctor's appointment.
A dentist appointment [I'd like to have my teeth still when I hit 70+ ]
And maybe, just maybe, I'll get to move away from this town I can't stand anymore, and get to be with my mate.
But first things first, I need to make sure I can see, and make sure I don't have any problems that could cause major issues in the future if not looked after.
That is...if I can remember to.
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