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~thesurviver
emotional wreck who likes to play games and draw.
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Featured Journal
About me
7 years ago
HELLO! and welcome!
So what can i say? I've been a hermit these last few years and it's time i change that, or at least show i'm not some random blob out there just watching things happen. So now that i've got a WiP up on my page i figure saying a formal greeting is in order! Albeit long overdue, and more than likely going to be "TL:DR" for many of you with fairly pointless information. But hey, gotta start somewhere and i'm sure this'll be buried in a few weeks depending on how quickly i work, and lost to the sands of time or forgotten, as was my greeting journal on DA. :P
A bit about me
I'm a left-handed artistic individual, i don't believe in schooling designed to 'adapt' your artistic capability being very... effective when it comes down to it. You truly cannot grasp art unless you get your hands dirty with trial and error in my opinion/experiences. And in doing so many of the common practices (such as mannequins, circular figures/outlining/line-arting and even some forms of coloring) are a foreign aspect to me. But this is why i love drawing! You don't need to stick to one or the other style to give it life. And the best works are drawn in the moment, when it's fresh in your mind and vividly detailed!
My past experience with art/coping with right-handed bias in school:
I've been drawing off an on since i was in kindergarten when i started drawing random things i'd see around the room with an unusual fervor/passion right handed... Teachers would see i struggled with simplistic things like writing my name, and in the latter part of kindergarten helped me learn how to write left handed, which helped excessively, and became my normal method of writing. In 1st grade my efforts became more about sketching various things, mostly wood push-cars that sat in the back of the class for recess, but still these drawings weren't very good, being heavily blob-like due to my pinkie always smearing the pencil or marker strokes.
At the end of 1st grade we had moved from a nice suburban area that taught in a diverse methodology, we moved to the city, where classes were linear and more like a prison system in some senses. Still though, my second grade teacher was nice, and most of the year went swimmingly. I'd draw, do my work and draw some more, many times having the class get involving in my drawings and make something special to post up on the door or windows which was always fun to do.
In 3rd grade, after having a semblance of real-world object drawing and depth perception, I started concerning my core-class teachers. These concerns started out with the fact that my art teachers refused to pass my projects after realizing i was drawing left handed, calling me out time and time again for being the oddball of the class. Insisting it be "corrected" before they let my work pass, and that i draw right handed like a "normal human being" from here on out... This is where my distaste of art classes began to start, and sadly continued up through 9th grade due to similar teachers outlook on artists being 'frauds' if they weren't right-handed, but such is life.
Since i could never get the hang of drawing (or writing) right handed, they refused to help me learn and slowly adapted the class to outcast my effort to be a part of it. They simply blamed my lack of 'effort' when it came down to it. So i'd do what i could and built myself up around what i knew/saw others doing, only doing it in reverse. Sure enough i pissed off many of my teachers doing this, and after taking my frustration to the principles it was finally addressed and i was actually getting help in refining what skills i had picked up through practice. Albeit those that helped were either extremely vague, or simply did it for me to get it over with, which irritated me further.
In 5th grade after some traumatic incidents at home i was starting to see the imaginary friend again, a Lycan that i saw from time to time between kindergarten and 2nd grade. Many people questioned my health at that point. The teachers primarily, who would see me drawing anthro-like creatures i knew nothing about in my free time with great care.
After being told i was to stop drawing this creature and 'explained' that it was a "mental condition" which later put me in therapy. They did nothing mind you, it was just talking about how my school day went mostly. Even chatting about how pointless the therapy actually was in the later stages of the sessions!
After being told my mentality was flawed for so long i grew sick of showing any real effort to be a part of the class. I had secluded myself from communication around teachers and students alike, and began heavily working on drawing military vehicles and weapons, which go figure, didn't get much praise from the school staff, and nearly got me suspended when i drew a city burning to the ground in the 3rd quarter of 5th grade. After being ridiculed for what i was drawing, how well i was doing in class (outperforming my classmates by leaps and bounds and constantly told to slow down.), and the fact i would sleep during most of the lessons, i was pulled from public schools and went through homeschooling from 6th til 9th.
between 6th and 9th grade i had expanded my desire of "art" into story-writing due to the constant negativity i recieved in drawing, but that was short lived, as i filled a sketch book yearly during the online lessons, and slept immediately after getting done my work/showing no desire to keep going.
I failed 9th grade needless to say, and the next school year came quickly. I was sent back into public school after showing signs of losing my touch on reality (daydreaming, odd sleeping patterns, the lack of desire to do schoolwork etc). At this point i was completely secluded, i didn't talk to anyone, i always looked pissed off. and i wasn't very eager to do anything group related. I'd simply sit in the back of each class i was sent to, did the work, set the work aside and drew in my books. A couple teachers started showing interest as they'd pass my desk but the moment i made eye-contact they'd walk away, which was fine as far as i was concerned.
My homeroom teacher had actually confronted me on this "death stare" of mine and unpleasant 'aura' around me (he said it felt like he'd be ripped to shreds if he didn't keep moving), and asked if i was upset all the time for a reason. The look on his face was rather funny when i stated flatly that it was my normal expression and didn't mean i was angry, upset or anything of that sort. But he left it go and asked if i was interested in art, For about 5 months of that year i would stay after school ended for about 2 hours and simply draw various things with him. It was a great experience after such a long time of being shafted as a freak for what i did art-wise and was physically viewed at for.
Getting Better
I slowly started to get more interactive with the classes after me and my homeroom teacher started drawing together. It was... nice, not being criticized for being a lefty, or told i'd fail if i didn't change how i did things.
I passed 9th grade easily this time around, most of the teachers surprised by how open i was being in the later part of the year and were rather saddened at the fact i wasn't so active in the earlier part of the year.
10th grade came abruptly. teachers were more strict, my classes were fairly standard but the people were far from it, hell i met my girlfriend during this time... I had recovered my optimistic outlook on things, i still always looked pissed off, like i was ready to end someone's life, but it helped keep the critics at bay and keep myself out of others' problems.
Meeting MinoxMoonbeam/turning my attention to helping others.
I think the biggest change at this point was meeting Minox, who at the time, was an avid "sonic-style" artist and RP'er and i had learned rather quickly that she enjoyed drawing as much as, if not more than, I did. She was reluctant to conversate with me at first, but as the year went on group projects were mandatory, and within the first 2 projects she had started to rely on my help to pass the class and keep her spirit up about drawing what she was passionate about, while also giving the students of my current classes a bit of a broader view on what was possible if they put their mind to it, and that art could be worked into pretty much anything you did, which helped alleviate stress in class. Course most of them were more interested in being stuck in their phones/watching youtube or vines rather than actually putting effort into anything.
Over the summer vacation we'd periodically get together and draw, or stream and I'd help her see art from a different angle, push into realms where she wasn't known for drawing, and eventually she became very effective at anthro-artwork without the sonic-styled linework. Her style greatly improved, her coloring improved and her smile never ceased to give me purpose and the year went by splendidly.
11th grade was relatively much of the same, helping eachother after school since our classes were different. But the big thing that changed with me was i started learning how to use a tablet during my digital advertisement classes, and working with metals and circuitry in the workshop (which gave me a wider view on light/shading differences based on light and curvature). I LOVED being able to draw without worrying about smearing, learning about new ways to draw, not feeling like i was being an outcast, and eventually made digital artwork my passion, which is where i now do most of my work...
Current timeframe
From then on out (about what... 5 years now? Since i graduated in 2014 it'd be just about that long now), it's been an upward process between me and Minox teaching each other new things, pushing one another to do better, to try new poses for artwork in various ways while teaching eachother different methods we both learned growing up, new styles, color methods and shading techniques and to never be afraid to experiment, and most of all always find time to laugh and enjoy what you do when it comes to anything, especially art.
TLDR version: A lot of sh*t happened that gives me purpose to draw with passion, rather than the desire to make money, or out of 'vent-art' or some form of escape. This is shear fun for me! I love what i do, and i can thank a very select few individuals for pushing my creativity to the limits when no one else would even look my way when encountering a snare or other obstacle... and most importantly a very special individual for giving me a purpose to keep getting better. And now, it's time i share what i do, how i've done it, and why i do it, with the rest of the community. It's time to stop this seclusion.
Thank you for reading, and welcome, to what will soon be my special slice of hell.
So what can i say? I've been a hermit these last few years and it's time i change that, or at least show i'm not some random blob out there just watching things happen. So now that i've got a WiP up on my page i figure saying a formal greeting is in order! Albeit long overdue, and more than likely going to be "TL:DR" for many of you with fairly pointless information. But hey, gotta start somewhere and i'm sure this'll be buried in a few weeks depending on how quickly i work, and lost to the sands of time or forgotten, as was my greeting journal on DA. :P
A bit about me
I'm a left-handed artistic individual, i don't believe in schooling designed to 'adapt' your artistic capability being very... effective when it comes down to it. You truly cannot grasp art unless you get your hands dirty with trial and error in my opinion/experiences. And in doing so many of the common practices (such as mannequins, circular figures/outlining/line-arting and even some forms of coloring) are a foreign aspect to me. But this is why i love drawing! You don't need to stick to one or the other style to give it life. And the best works are drawn in the moment, when it's fresh in your mind and vividly detailed!
My past experience with art/coping with right-handed bias in school:
I've been drawing off an on since i was in kindergarten when i started drawing random things i'd see around the room with an unusual fervor/passion right handed... Teachers would see i struggled with simplistic things like writing my name, and in the latter part of kindergarten helped me learn how to write left handed, which helped excessively, and became my normal method of writing. In 1st grade my efforts became more about sketching various things, mostly wood push-cars that sat in the back of the class for recess, but still these drawings weren't very good, being heavily blob-like due to my pinkie always smearing the pencil or marker strokes.
At the end of 1st grade we had moved from a nice suburban area that taught in a diverse methodology, we moved to the city, where classes were linear and more like a prison system in some senses. Still though, my second grade teacher was nice, and most of the year went swimmingly. I'd draw, do my work and draw some more, many times having the class get involving in my drawings and make something special to post up on the door or windows which was always fun to do.
In 3rd grade, after having a semblance of real-world object drawing and depth perception, I started concerning my core-class teachers. These concerns started out with the fact that my art teachers refused to pass my projects after realizing i was drawing left handed, calling me out time and time again for being the oddball of the class. Insisting it be "corrected" before they let my work pass, and that i draw right handed like a "normal human being" from here on out... This is where my distaste of art classes began to start, and sadly continued up through 9th grade due to similar teachers outlook on artists being 'frauds' if they weren't right-handed, but such is life.
Since i could never get the hang of drawing (or writing) right handed, they refused to help me learn and slowly adapted the class to outcast my effort to be a part of it. They simply blamed my lack of 'effort' when it came down to it. So i'd do what i could and built myself up around what i knew/saw others doing, only doing it in reverse. Sure enough i pissed off many of my teachers doing this, and after taking my frustration to the principles it was finally addressed and i was actually getting help in refining what skills i had picked up through practice. Albeit those that helped were either extremely vague, or simply did it for me to get it over with, which irritated me further.
In 5th grade after some traumatic incidents at home i was starting to see the imaginary friend again, a Lycan that i saw from time to time between kindergarten and 2nd grade. Many people questioned my health at that point. The teachers primarily, who would see me drawing anthro-like creatures i knew nothing about in my free time with great care.
After being told i was to stop drawing this creature and 'explained' that it was a "mental condition" which later put me in therapy. They did nothing mind you, it was just talking about how my school day went mostly. Even chatting about how pointless the therapy actually was in the later stages of the sessions!
After being told my mentality was flawed for so long i grew sick of showing any real effort to be a part of the class. I had secluded myself from communication around teachers and students alike, and began heavily working on drawing military vehicles and weapons, which go figure, didn't get much praise from the school staff, and nearly got me suspended when i drew a city burning to the ground in the 3rd quarter of 5th grade. After being ridiculed for what i was drawing, how well i was doing in class (outperforming my classmates by leaps and bounds and constantly told to slow down.), and the fact i would sleep during most of the lessons, i was pulled from public schools and went through homeschooling from 6th til 9th.
between 6th and 9th grade i had expanded my desire of "art" into story-writing due to the constant negativity i recieved in drawing, but that was short lived, as i filled a sketch book yearly during the online lessons, and slept immediately after getting done my work/showing no desire to keep going.
I failed 9th grade needless to say, and the next school year came quickly. I was sent back into public school after showing signs of losing my touch on reality (daydreaming, odd sleeping patterns, the lack of desire to do schoolwork etc). At this point i was completely secluded, i didn't talk to anyone, i always looked pissed off. and i wasn't very eager to do anything group related. I'd simply sit in the back of each class i was sent to, did the work, set the work aside and drew in my books. A couple teachers started showing interest as they'd pass my desk but the moment i made eye-contact they'd walk away, which was fine as far as i was concerned.
My homeroom teacher had actually confronted me on this "death stare" of mine and unpleasant 'aura' around me (he said it felt like he'd be ripped to shreds if he didn't keep moving), and asked if i was upset all the time for a reason. The look on his face was rather funny when i stated flatly that it was my normal expression and didn't mean i was angry, upset or anything of that sort. But he left it go and asked if i was interested in art, For about 5 months of that year i would stay after school ended for about 2 hours and simply draw various things with him. It was a great experience after such a long time of being shafted as a freak for what i did art-wise and was physically viewed at for.
Getting Better
I slowly started to get more interactive with the classes after me and my homeroom teacher started drawing together. It was... nice, not being criticized for being a lefty, or told i'd fail if i didn't change how i did things.
I passed 9th grade easily this time around, most of the teachers surprised by how open i was being in the later part of the year and were rather saddened at the fact i wasn't so active in the earlier part of the year.
10th grade came abruptly. teachers were more strict, my classes were fairly standard but the people were far from it, hell i met my girlfriend during this time... I had recovered my optimistic outlook on things, i still always looked pissed off, like i was ready to end someone's life, but it helped keep the critics at bay and keep myself out of others' problems.
Meeting MinoxMoonbeam/turning my attention to helping others.
I think the biggest change at this point was meeting Minox, who at the time, was an avid "sonic-style" artist and RP'er and i had learned rather quickly that she enjoyed drawing as much as, if not more than, I did. She was reluctant to conversate with me at first, but as the year went on group projects were mandatory, and within the first 2 projects she had started to rely on my help to pass the class and keep her spirit up about drawing what she was passionate about, while also giving the students of my current classes a bit of a broader view on what was possible if they put their mind to it, and that art could be worked into pretty much anything you did, which helped alleviate stress in class. Course most of them were more interested in being stuck in their phones/watching youtube or vines rather than actually putting effort into anything.
Over the summer vacation we'd periodically get together and draw, or stream and I'd help her see art from a different angle, push into realms where she wasn't known for drawing, and eventually she became very effective at anthro-artwork without the sonic-styled linework. Her style greatly improved, her coloring improved and her smile never ceased to give me purpose and the year went by splendidly.
11th grade was relatively much of the same, helping eachother after school since our classes were different. But the big thing that changed with me was i started learning how to use a tablet during my digital advertisement classes, and working with metals and circuitry in the workshop (which gave me a wider view on light/shading differences based on light and curvature). I LOVED being able to draw without worrying about smearing, learning about new ways to draw, not feeling like i was being an outcast, and eventually made digital artwork my passion, which is where i now do most of my work...
Current timeframe
From then on out (about what... 5 years now? Since i graduated in 2014 it'd be just about that long now), it's been an upward process between me and Minox teaching each other new things, pushing one another to do better, to try new poses for artwork in various ways while teaching eachother different methods we both learned growing up, new styles, color methods and shading techniques and to never be afraid to experiment, and most of all always find time to laugh and enjoy what you do when it comes to anything, especially art.
TLDR version: A lot of sh*t happened that gives me purpose to draw with passion, rather than the desire to make money, or out of 'vent-art' or some form of escape. This is shear fun for me! I love what i do, and i can thank a very select few individuals for pushing my creativity to the limits when no one else would even look my way when encountering a snare or other obstacle... and most importantly a very special individual for giving me a purpose to keep getting better. And now, it's time i share what i do, how i've done it, and why i do it, with the rest of the community. It's time to stop this seclusion.
Thank you for reading, and welcome, to what will soon be my special slice of hell.
User Profile
Accepting Trades
No Accepting Commissions
No Character Species
Lycan
Favorite Music
Metal
Favorite TV Shows & Movies
Wolf Children
Favorite Games
EvE Online, Ace Combat, Need for Speed, Final Fantasy
Favorite Gaming Platforms
PC
Favorite Animals
Wolf
Favorite Site
Deviantart
Favorite Foods & Drinks
Pizza
Favorite Quote
"Well there's Your Problem!" - Adam Savage, Mythbusters.