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Submissions: 5
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~wadimek11
Hello, I was not very active in the past on this site but I'm trying to improve as well as expand my social life. Feel free to DM ^^.
I'm beginner artist and I probably will post some of my arts soon.
I'm beginner artist and I probably will post some of my arts soon.
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Comments Earned: 21
Comments Made: 51
Journals: 1
Comments Made: 51
Journals: 1
Recent Journal
My feelings.
5 months ago
Well, I don't even know how to start... Life is exhausting. I try to grind art daily, learn a new language, delve into programming, and so on. Additionally, I finally got rid of my social anxiety, which is another small goal achieved, but so what? It's just another checkmark amid a sea of other meaningless goals. I think I look fine, feel alright chatting with others, but I can't shake the loneliness. I feel empty inside, yearning to finally meet someone, make a real friend. I've reached out to numerous people, but nothing seems to click. I feel really bad... I want something more, to finally meet someone and have something meaningful in my life.
I guess I have decent self-discipline, so technically, I'm going to end up in a position that most people would consider "good", with a decent job, decent knowledge, good health, and a decent condition. Well, I'm slowly starting to wonder, for what? Will I always be alone? I'm losing hope that it will change. Previously, I blamed my social anxiety for things, but it's no longer the case; I got rid of it. I don't mind meeting with people anymore, initiating conversations, and so on... If only it would change a thing.
Now, I feel lost with no direction and no hope in sight. I'm just gonna continue to practice drawing, dedicating at least an hour a day, continuing to work out, and starting to learn German and Programming again, but this fire will burn out after some time. Another thing that gets to me is just a pure statistic: I'm autistic and diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome professionally. Only 32% of people with Asperger's have even had a date. This just makes me depressed; I feel broken because I was born this way.
I literally try to stay positive all day, strive to learn every day, and take every criticism to heart. I heard the advice to talk to people, so I started doing so, even though it was uncomfortable at first. I did it, and I'll continue to do whatever someone suggests, but I just wish I could get something in return, like a real friend, someone to hug, or someone who would be happy to watch movies with me.
I guess I have decent self-discipline, so technically, I'm going to end up in a position that most people would consider "good", with a decent job, decent knowledge, good health, and a decent condition. Well, I'm slowly starting to wonder, for what? Will I always be alone? I'm losing hope that it will change. Previously, I blamed my social anxiety for things, but it's no longer the case; I got rid of it. I don't mind meeting with people anymore, initiating conversations, and so on... If only it would change a thing.
Now, I feel lost with no direction and no hope in sight. I'm just gonna continue to practice drawing, dedicating at least an hour a day, continuing to work out, and starting to learn German and Programming again, but this fire will burn out after some time. Another thing that gets to me is just a pure statistic: I'm autistic and diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome professionally. Only 32% of people with Asperger's have even had a date. This just makes me depressed; I feel broken because I was born this way.
I literally try to stay positive all day, strive to learn every day, and take every criticism to heart. I heard the advice to talk to people, so I started doing so, even though it was uncomfortable at first. I did it, and I'll continue to do whatever someone suggests, but I just wish I could get something in return, like a real friend, someone to hug, or someone who would be happy to watch movies with me.
User Profile
Accepting Trades
Yes Accepting Commissions
Yes Character Species
Cheetah (WIP)
Favorite Music
Orchestral like They are billions.
Favorite TV Shows & Movies
Interstellar
Favorite Games
Death Stranding
Favorite Gaming Platforms
Pc
Favorite Animals
Cheetah, Snow Leopard, Dragon, Shark.
Favorite Site
Favorite Quote
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us
Favorite Artists
Heartbeats, Tanraak, Notafurrytho, Jaykat
GeeWolf