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Thursday is the Drummer's Day
What you folks need to remember is that "The Star-Spangled Banner" wasn't our national anthem until 1932, shortly after William Gurdetha died, but I promise you that he would have wanted it involved in his crazy system of beliefs. I should know because I'm his living descendant, Graham Gurdetha, the leader of percussion for the COTS (Circus of the Superstars) marching band. We double as a stand-alone marching band that uses both the militaristic rope-tensioned drums, and the modern marching drums you hear at football games, so it is accurate to say we do more performances as just as a marching band than we do as a full circus. Circuses in general have gone out of style anyways, thanks to declining attendance, digital technology, and groups such as PETA. (I can only imagine the celebration they were having when the most famous of them all, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, finally went out of business in 2017. Some of those people moved to Wildcat City just to find new jobs.) I therefore don't know if and when we'll ever go out of business, but if and when that day dawns, we still will be bringing the world a service by bringing it the joy of music.
Some things I can't say without having said them before, but here is one new piece of information for you if you are willing to learn about my insane ancestor and his beliefs: he was born on a Thursday. Because of that, he declared that Thursday is the day of the week the animals who play musical instruments are to work the hardest. It's also why, weather permitting, Wildcat City's infamous Foot Parade (all animals, all marching barefoot) happens on a Thursday. But we tell the spectators to focus on the music and symblols of patriotism that have gone with the parade, and in the one Cripto marched in a while back, the exact number of soldiers marching in the parade was a new world record. The soldiers marched as an act of patriotism, however, and not because they believed in the essence of a furry marching on his bare paws.
Thursday is the day that my ancestor played his drums the most, and some days he would do so from dawn to dusk, whether by himself or in a band, and so it would drive the humans nuts at times. And while the people did acknowledge that he was worthy to be hailed as the greatest furry drummer of all time, what they couldn't stand was his narcissistic attitude, his short temper, and his huge ego. We say he's the J. Burns Moore of the animal kingdom, but others claim he was Buddy Rich before the man was even born. At the time of Gurdetha's death, jazz was just starting to become the newest big thing, and it is true he would have agreed with John Philip Sousa that jazz was the devil's music that would lead the country to hell. It did not. Rock and roll didn't either. Everybody just has a preference for what they grew up, and many times a generation will show hatred to what's new or current.
I mentioned that my ancestor would have incorporated the national anthem into the cult that he unknowingly invented (because his followers and disciples later shaped a cult out of it), because the first thing he did when he woke up on a Thursday was play a drum roll, and then a cadence. The national anthem, when generally played by military bands and bands like the COTS band, begins with the drummers beating a roll. Thus, in order to avoid any bad karma, most of us do the same, even if we don't agree with or understand his beliefs. I do it because I'm his only living offspring. The Drumbums do it because of their musical priorities. Dark Wolf and Corps Coon do it because they just love to march. The only time we wouldn't do it is if we were sick or traveling, but still, my ancestor did cast a spell that he never wanted to be broken, which would punish those who disobeyed him.
Gurdetha was indeed one of the first animals to have been given superpowers via the medium of CNG, but he didn't live forever; many of the G-52s and their allies have eternal life because of this stuff, and most of them would tell you they didn't want that. They wouldn't want to deal with this cruel and sinful world forever, but somebody has to protect it, and 2020 is the 50th anniversary of the G-52 organization. They therefore decided that they'd have to deal with it. Yet because Gurdetha had superpowers, he cast spells he didn't want to be broken, and many are sore afraid of violating his policies. (The most common story is that his ghost will attack you if you disobey the beliefs, such as not standing to attention and looking down at my bare feet while I'm beating a drum roll.)
There were more things that Gurdetha got wrong than right, but some of the things got right include the fact he was teetotal (he didn't drink), he didn't smoke or do drugs, and he never did anything that was against the laws of our city, state, and country. In fact, because people circulate stories around, nobody knew the truth about what started his whole hatred of human beings. Part of it did have to do with drugs and alcohol; in fact, a human (name left anonymous) who had problems with drinking and was infamous for his heckling acts during concerts and parades, went as far as to start a fight with Gurdetha because, as he proclaimed, "You want everybody to live in the Stone Age; that's why you animals never bother to wear shoes."
That statement stuck with Gurdetha for the rest of his life, and he developed the propaganda that his music preached to the day he died: animals and humans cannot live in harmony together, and the best way for animals to show their loyalty to one another and separation from humans is to live every day of their lives barefoot. Obviously that is not true, but you know how the city has a history of overreacting and groupthink.
Because I had been teaching classes about my ancestor to the canon characters in "Cripto's Army" who play in marching and concert bands, Wile E. Coyote asked me on this Thursday morning, "Did he want the humans to be an extinct race?"
"No, I don't think so," I said. "He just wanted the humans to live as a separate society from animals, so it would be like having two countries in one. He did apologize to the humans shortly before he died, when he saw that he virtually wasted his life fighting for nothing, and the people were willing to forgive him."
"So where does the circus bit come in, then, doc?" asked Bugs Bunny.
"He had a period where he played with a circus, and had the task of beating the drum roll that would introduce the act, or build tension," I replied, "and so it is my duty as a drummer to do the same today."
"That makes sense," said Mickey Mouse. "Though we don't agree with anything he said, we don't want to take any chances either. So we thank you for answering all our questions, including the one I have. What was his favorite march to play?"
"You're welcome," I smiled as I began drumming again, since we were having a practice in Dark Wolf's band room. "I'm happy to help. He had several marches he considered his favorite, but the one that's also my favorite march would have to be the 'National Emblem March.'" After a few measures of drums, the bands present (Looney Band, Zootopia Marching Band, Pride Rock Band, and the miscellaneous Disney bands) all played that march. To obey my ancestor, we began our practice with the national anthem, and did a march past where the marchers all marched past me and saluted, and I stood on a podium a ways up so that they could stand to attention as I beat a drum roll and look at my feet. Rolf, Simba, Mickey, Bugs, and Mayor Lionheart all either conducted alongside Dark Wolf, or did appropriate things with their maces, but all stood still while playing.
After learning about how Dark Wolf was now the drum major in charge of Black Wolf Troop 222 after the previous drum major wolf died of an asthma attack, he introduced us to some military marches of his homeworld, while at the same time telling us that among his favorite marches of this world were many of the American ones we played, and a few British ones as well. He also said, "I still have my other uniform with my shako, but being the drum major, I am now expected to wear this fancier uniform with the giant black fuzzy hat while still retaining my drum, but I'm not a Gurdetha supporter. 99% of all things about my homeworld are sacred and are to be kept secret, knowing them used to result in death, but one of the things you are allowed to know is we wolved did everything barefoot because that was just part of our lifestyle. But we are not Forsythian; we just like to pad, march, and beat the drums with as much passion as them."
"What other things by coincidence, then, matched any of Gurdetha's life story or his beliefs?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. I can tell you that I was born on a Thursday myself, but I don't associate that with barefoot animals beating on their drums."
"I see." Dark Wolf then had me play another roll of the drums, and we all proceeded to play "God Save the Queen." This was because, due to inspiration from the Krieglandonians and their acts of knowing every national anthem by heart, we were hoping to do the same. We demonstrated this with a few more playings of national anthems, and because others filmed it for YouTube as part of our payroll assignments, we had to remind ourselves to turn the comments off so that nobody would flood our videos with comments about Russia (due to the whole country getting banned for four years from any kind of sports or e-sports participation due to the doping scandals). The point of us playing the Russian anthem was because we were learning all the anthems, not because of any other reason some would accuse us for, so don't say a word, people!
In the afternoon, I taught these classes again to other groups that didn't come in the morning, such as Konway's Korps and the Warfang Pride Band, plus some others acting as soloists or duets (Tom and Jerry, Tony the Tiger, Daren the Lion, etc.) We then went through the usual acts of practices, Gurdethan drum rituals, etc. But the difference was that the morning classes just played concert and marching music. The afternoon session had some jazz music because some of the Drumbums were attending. This also explains why Zeke the Big Bad Wolf appeared twice, in the morning as his regular self, and in the afternoon as his alter-ego, Big Bad Wolf Daddy.
Roger Rabbit also made an appearance, showing off his drumming abilities, and doing the silly routine he did with the Snare Soldier, where he danced as the rat played his drums, and each one tried to anticipate the other one's acts. It got applause once it finished, but then both the rat and the rabbit joined in with the Monarch Major (King Lionel XVIII of Leonine, one of the great lion drummers of today) in what began as a three-way drum battle, but ended as a beautiful act of synchronized drumming that led the rest of us to play the song "Hey Pachuco." (This is from the 1994 film "The Mask.") Big Bad Wolf Daddy went ahead and sang the vocals as only he could do, and he improvised a trumpet solo to accompany the drums to account for the extended drum solo in the middle of the song; this isn't present in the original song, but that's the way we choose to play it. Regal Rat (King Ross II) played the saxophone solo, and during the part where only the drums were beating, Big Bad Wolf Daddy began marching before letting his feet tap dance to the solo.
Later that night, we recorded some of our solos and duets for YouTube, and also a "Spirit of '76"-style session, where Zeke (as his regular self) and I played our drums, and a random Drumbum played the fife. Tom and Jerry stayed off-screen due to the mouse's size, but the mouse was also tooting one of the piccolos he owned while the cat obediently played his drum. Overall, it was a musical Thursday, and I hope it has helped you all learn something new about my crazy ancestor. There are things about it I don't enjoy, but it is part of my life story, and I'm sticking to it.
Thank you for your time, and have a wonderful, music-filled day!
THE END
-----------------------------------------
Thursday is the Drummer's Day
What you folks need to remember is that "The Star-Spangled Banner" wasn't our national anthem until 1932, shortly after William Gurdetha died, but I promise you that he would have wanted it involved in his crazy system of beliefs. I should know because I'm his living descendant, Graham Gurdetha, the leader of percussion for the COTS (Circus of the Superstars) marching band. We double as a stand-alone marching band that uses both the militaristic rope-tensioned drums, and the modern marching drums you hear at football games, so it is accurate to say we do more performances as just as a marching band than we do as a full circus. Circuses in general have gone out of style anyways, thanks to declining attendance, digital technology, and groups such as PETA. (I can only imagine the celebration they were having when the most famous of them all, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, finally went out of business in 2017. Some of those people moved to Wildcat City just to find new jobs.) I therefore don't know if and when we'll ever go out of business, but if and when that day dawns, we still will be bringing the world a service by bringing it the joy of music.
Some things I can't say without having said them before, but here is one new piece of information for you if you are willing to learn about my insane ancestor and his beliefs: he was born on a Thursday. Because of that, he declared that Thursday is the day of the week the animals who play musical instruments are to work the hardest. It's also why, weather permitting, Wildcat City's infamous Foot Parade (all animals, all marching barefoot) happens on a Thursday. But we tell the spectators to focus on the music and symblols of patriotism that have gone with the parade, and in the one Cripto marched in a while back, the exact number of soldiers marching in the parade was a new world record. The soldiers marched as an act of patriotism, however, and not because they believed in the essence of a furry marching on his bare paws.
Thursday is the day that my ancestor played his drums the most, and some days he would do so from dawn to dusk, whether by himself or in a band, and so it would drive the humans nuts at times. And while the people did acknowledge that he was worthy to be hailed as the greatest furry drummer of all time, what they couldn't stand was his narcissistic attitude, his short temper, and his huge ego. We say he's the J. Burns Moore of the animal kingdom, but others claim he was Buddy Rich before the man was even born. At the time of Gurdetha's death, jazz was just starting to become the newest big thing, and it is true he would have agreed with John Philip Sousa that jazz was the devil's music that would lead the country to hell. It did not. Rock and roll didn't either. Everybody just has a preference for what they grew up, and many times a generation will show hatred to what's new or current.
I mentioned that my ancestor would have incorporated the national anthem into the cult that he unknowingly invented (because his followers and disciples later shaped a cult out of it), because the first thing he did when he woke up on a Thursday was play a drum roll, and then a cadence. The national anthem, when generally played by military bands and bands like the COTS band, begins with the drummers beating a roll. Thus, in order to avoid any bad karma, most of us do the same, even if we don't agree with or understand his beliefs. I do it because I'm his only living offspring. The Drumbums do it because of their musical priorities. Dark Wolf and Corps Coon do it because they just love to march. The only time we wouldn't do it is if we were sick or traveling, but still, my ancestor did cast a spell that he never wanted to be broken, which would punish those who disobeyed him.
Gurdetha was indeed one of the first animals to have been given superpowers via the medium of CNG, but he didn't live forever; many of the G-52s and their allies have eternal life because of this stuff, and most of them would tell you they didn't want that. They wouldn't want to deal with this cruel and sinful world forever, but somebody has to protect it, and 2020 is the 50th anniversary of the G-52 organization. They therefore decided that they'd have to deal with it. Yet because Gurdetha had superpowers, he cast spells he didn't want to be broken, and many are sore afraid of violating his policies. (The most common story is that his ghost will attack you if you disobey the beliefs, such as not standing to attention and looking down at my bare feet while I'm beating a drum roll.)
There were more things that Gurdetha got wrong than right, but some of the things got right include the fact he was teetotal (he didn't drink), he didn't smoke or do drugs, and he never did anything that was against the laws of our city, state, and country. In fact, because people circulate stories around, nobody knew the truth about what started his whole hatred of human beings. Part of it did have to do with drugs and alcohol; in fact, a human (name left anonymous) who had problems with drinking and was infamous for his heckling acts during concerts and parades, went as far as to start a fight with Gurdetha because, as he proclaimed, "You want everybody to live in the Stone Age; that's why you animals never bother to wear shoes."
That statement stuck with Gurdetha for the rest of his life, and he developed the propaganda that his music preached to the day he died: animals and humans cannot live in harmony together, and the best way for animals to show their loyalty to one another and separation from humans is to live every day of their lives barefoot. Obviously that is not true, but you know how the city has a history of overreacting and groupthink.
Because I had been teaching classes about my ancestor to the canon characters in "Cripto's Army" who play in marching and concert bands, Wile E. Coyote asked me on this Thursday morning, "Did he want the humans to be an extinct race?"
"No, I don't think so," I said. "He just wanted the humans to live as a separate society from animals, so it would be like having two countries in one. He did apologize to the humans shortly before he died, when he saw that he virtually wasted his life fighting for nothing, and the people were willing to forgive him."
"So where does the circus bit come in, then, doc?" asked Bugs Bunny.
"He had a period where he played with a circus, and had the task of beating the drum roll that would introduce the act, or build tension," I replied, "and so it is my duty as a drummer to do the same today."
"That makes sense," said Mickey Mouse. "Though we don't agree with anything he said, we don't want to take any chances either. So we thank you for answering all our questions, including the one I have. What was his favorite march to play?"
"You're welcome," I smiled as I began drumming again, since we were having a practice in Dark Wolf's band room. "I'm happy to help. He had several marches he considered his favorite, but the one that's also my favorite march would have to be the 'National Emblem March.'" After a few measures of drums, the bands present (Looney Band, Zootopia Marching Band, Pride Rock Band, and the miscellaneous Disney bands) all played that march. To obey my ancestor, we began our practice with the national anthem, and did a march past where the marchers all marched past me and saluted, and I stood on a podium a ways up so that they could stand to attention as I beat a drum roll and look at my feet. Rolf, Simba, Mickey, Bugs, and Mayor Lionheart all either conducted alongside Dark Wolf, or did appropriate things with their maces, but all stood still while playing.
After learning about how Dark Wolf was now the drum major in charge of Black Wolf Troop 222 after the previous drum major wolf died of an asthma attack, he introduced us to some military marches of his homeworld, while at the same time telling us that among his favorite marches of this world were many of the American ones we played, and a few British ones as well. He also said, "I still have my other uniform with my shako, but being the drum major, I am now expected to wear this fancier uniform with the giant black fuzzy hat while still retaining my drum, but I'm not a Gurdetha supporter. 99% of all things about my homeworld are sacred and are to be kept secret, knowing them used to result in death, but one of the things you are allowed to know is we wolved did everything barefoot because that was just part of our lifestyle. But we are not Forsythian; we just like to pad, march, and beat the drums with as much passion as them."
"What other things by coincidence, then, matched any of Gurdetha's life story or his beliefs?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. I can tell you that I was born on a Thursday myself, but I don't associate that with barefoot animals beating on their drums."
"I see." Dark Wolf then had me play another roll of the drums, and we all proceeded to play "God Save the Queen." This was because, due to inspiration from the Krieglandonians and their acts of knowing every national anthem by heart, we were hoping to do the same. We demonstrated this with a few more playings of national anthems, and because others filmed it for YouTube as part of our payroll assignments, we had to remind ourselves to turn the comments off so that nobody would flood our videos with comments about Russia (due to the whole country getting banned for four years from any kind of sports or e-sports participation due to the doping scandals). The point of us playing the Russian anthem was because we were learning all the anthems, not because of any other reason some would accuse us for, so don't say a word, people!
In the afternoon, I taught these classes again to other groups that didn't come in the morning, such as Konway's Korps and the Warfang Pride Band, plus some others acting as soloists or duets (Tom and Jerry, Tony the Tiger, Daren the Lion, etc.) We then went through the usual acts of practices, Gurdethan drum rituals, etc. But the difference was that the morning classes just played concert and marching music. The afternoon session had some jazz music because some of the Drumbums were attending. This also explains why Zeke the Big Bad Wolf appeared twice, in the morning as his regular self, and in the afternoon as his alter-ego, Big Bad Wolf Daddy.
Roger Rabbit also made an appearance, showing off his drumming abilities, and doing the silly routine he did with the Snare Soldier, where he danced as the rat played his drums, and each one tried to anticipate the other one's acts. It got applause once it finished, but then both the rat and the rabbit joined in with the Monarch Major (King Lionel XVIII of Leonine, one of the great lion drummers of today) in what began as a three-way drum battle, but ended as a beautiful act of synchronized drumming that led the rest of us to play the song "Hey Pachuco." (This is from the 1994 film "The Mask.") Big Bad Wolf Daddy went ahead and sang the vocals as only he could do, and he improvised a trumpet solo to accompany the drums to account for the extended drum solo in the middle of the song; this isn't present in the original song, but that's the way we choose to play it. Regal Rat (King Ross II) played the saxophone solo, and during the part where only the drums were beating, Big Bad Wolf Daddy began marching before letting his feet tap dance to the solo.
Later that night, we recorded some of our solos and duets for YouTube, and also a "Spirit of '76"-style session, where Zeke (as his regular self) and I played our drums, and a random Drumbum played the fife. Tom and Jerry stayed off-screen due to the mouse's size, but the mouse was also tooting one of the piccolos he owned while the cat obediently played his drum. Overall, it was a musical Thursday, and I hope it has helped you all learn something new about my crazy ancestor. There are things about it I don't enjoy, but it is part of my life story, and I'm sticking to it.
Thank you for your time, and have a wonderful, music-filled day!
THE END
Graham Gurdetha gives lectures to a host of other musicians about his crazy ancestor, William Gurdetha, including some new information as to why the bear considered Thursday the most important day of the week.
COTS, G-52s, Wildcat City, etc. © me and me alone
Dark Wolf originally a creation of 16weeks, but now owned by me
All canon characters belong to all who own the rights; I own nothing.
All music mentioned that isn't public domain belongs to all who own the rights; I own nothing.
The Mask © 1994 Dark Horse Entertainment and all others who own the rights, and based on the comic book series of the same name.
Hey Pachuco!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4XHcZR0cjY
COTS, G-52s, Wildcat City, etc. © me and me alone
Dark Wolf originally a creation of 16weeks, but now owned by me
All canon characters belong to all who own the rights; I own nothing.
All music mentioned that isn't public domain belongs to all who own the rights; I own nothing.
The Mask © 1994 Dark Horse Entertainment and all others who own the rights, and based on the comic book series of the same name.
Hey Pachuco!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4XHcZR0cjY
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 92 x 120px
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