Life's A Chibi: Your Own Happiness
"You are responsible for your own happiness."
This is a quote that everyone should remember. You need to take care of yourself, find your own happiness. You are responsible for the things that bring you joy and make you feel joy. No one else. ... Many learn this at a very early age to protect themselves. Others learn this several years later or until they suffer the consequences of trying to make others happy. It's easier to say this quote than to actually do it to many people.
There are those who like making people happy; who have a strong connection to other people's emotions. They see someone down and have that internal instinct to go over and try to help, either by getting them something or just by talking to them. They wish to help wipe away the dark clouds of sadness so the sunshine of happiness comes down upon them. Being empathetic, they believed that making people happy makes themselves happy. However, they soon learn the hard way that they can't always do that, or should NEVER do that. They got hurt, used, abused and tossed aside.
There are some people who just can't be happy. You wish to try to make them happy, but they don't want your help. They don't want your charity, your attention, or your kindness. In the end, you feel like you failed in making them happy. Then there are those who take advantage of others to get the happiness they want/deserve. They continue to ask for you to make them happy constantly but never returns the favor and tosses you aside when they feel they have no more use for you, leaving you with trust issues and a damaged view of self worth. What follows is that the empath starts to draw thick lines around themselves and show less and less interest in making other happy.
If it makes you happy to put a smile on someone's face when they feel down, that's great, but you need to have a sturdy handle on your own happiness before you tackle someone else's happiness as well as the knowledge that you can't make everyone happy. What good is sharing cookies when you never baked any for yourself first? Your own health and well-being is important, even if you care deeply about others emotional state. Continue to be kind and caring to others as long as you are giving yourself the same treatment and attention.
artwork © 2022 Alex Cockburn
This is a quote that everyone should remember. You need to take care of yourself, find your own happiness. You are responsible for the things that bring you joy and make you feel joy. No one else. ... Many learn this at a very early age to protect themselves. Others learn this several years later or until they suffer the consequences of trying to make others happy. It's easier to say this quote than to actually do it to many people.
There are those who like making people happy; who have a strong connection to other people's emotions. They see someone down and have that internal instinct to go over and try to help, either by getting them something or just by talking to them. They wish to help wipe away the dark clouds of sadness so the sunshine of happiness comes down upon them. Being empathetic, they believed that making people happy makes themselves happy. However, they soon learn the hard way that they can't always do that, or should NEVER do that. They got hurt, used, abused and tossed aside.
There are some people who just can't be happy. You wish to try to make them happy, but they don't want your help. They don't want your charity, your attention, or your kindness. In the end, you feel like you failed in making them happy. Then there are those who take advantage of others to get the happiness they want/deserve. They continue to ask for you to make them happy constantly but never returns the favor and tosses you aside when they feel they have no more use for you, leaving you with trust issues and a damaged view of self worth. What follows is that the empath starts to draw thick lines around themselves and show less and less interest in making other happy.
If it makes you happy to put a smile on someone's face when they feel down, that's great, but you need to have a sturdy handle on your own happiness before you tackle someone else's happiness as well as the knowledge that you can't make everyone happy. What good is sharing cookies when you never baked any for yourself first? Your own health and well-being is important, even if you care deeply about others emotional state. Continue to be kind and caring to others as long as you are giving yourself the same treatment and attention.
artwork © 2022 Alex Cockburn
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Reminds me of the airline safety instructions regarding O2 masks: Put on yours before helping others around you.
It's hard making others happy when you are unhappy yourself. Thanks for the writing, it's something we often overlook when we have an inclination to help people to be happy seeing others happy.
It's hard making others happy when you are unhappy yourself. Thanks for the writing, it's something we often overlook when we have an inclination to help people to be happy seeing others happy.
And for the same reason. It doesn't take much hypoxia before your own abilities are too compromised to help others, but even someone unconscious can be revived by the oxygen mask on their face. so you must defend your own life to be useful to those farther gone than you.
And mental health is that way too: if you're too depressed, mentally exhausted, anxious, disassociated, etc... then you can't uplift others.
And mental health is that way too: if you're too depressed, mentally exhausted, anxious, disassociated, etc... then you can't uplift others.
Couldn't agree more. It's important to be a little bit selfish.
I genuinely enjoy making people happy. I love when I can brighten a friend's day, or help them out of a hole. But, I know that there is a limit to what I can do and that sometimes I need to put myself first. It's a little bit of a kick in the gut when I have to essentially say "no" to someone, but, I also know that that "no" is an important part of maintaining my own sanity.
You can't know what makes someone happy without first knowing what happiness feels like, yourself.
I genuinely enjoy making people happy. I love when I can brighten a friend's day, or help them out of a hole. But, I know that there is a limit to what I can do and that sometimes I need to put myself first. It's a little bit of a kick in the gut when I have to essentially say "no" to someone, but, I also know that that "no" is an important part of maintaining my own sanity.
You can't know what makes someone happy without first knowing what happiness feels like, yourself.
it's not a wrong fact...but still you can't do everything for others.
you can be there for them, show them a direction or a sign they didn't see. but...you can't do everything for them still...
whatever you do, even if you do the best for them you aren't a god so you can't control everything. but mostly...even if you are doing it for them, it can backfire in your face even if they are doing nothing and you are just trying to help them get better or find a solution. they can still scream at you and insult you even if, in the end, it's not like you are getting anything out of it besides the small satisfaction of helping someone important to you...
even if your main reason is...being worried for them...
you can be there for them, show them a direction or a sign they didn't see. but...you can't do everything for them still...
whatever you do, even if you do the best for them you aren't a god so you can't control everything. but mostly...even if you are doing it for them, it can backfire in your face even if they are doing nothing and you are just trying to help them get better or find a solution. they can still scream at you and insult you even if, in the end, it's not like you are getting anything out of it besides the small satisfaction of helping someone important to you...
even if your main reason is...being worried for them...
You can't make everyone happy. But you can make everyone upset.
Case in point, baking a chocolate cake but replacing the sugar with salt.
Case in point, baking a chocolate cake but replacing the sugar with salt.
"Can't make everyone happy but CAN make everyone upset", haha that is so true.
This remind's me of something I heard about comedian's.
But before I say it please know that I Do Not know if it's true or not, it's just something I've heard.
While most comedian's can make other's happy, they themselves usually aren't.
If that's true then it's so sad. 😞😞😞
But before I say it please know that I Do Not know if it's true or not, it's just something I've heard.
While most comedian's can make other's happy, they themselves usually aren't.
If that's true then it's so sad. 😞😞😞
Not sure if this can be universalized to all comedians, but consider the example of Robin Williams. Very funny man who brought happiness to many people over a long career, yet was secretly struggling with his own depression and mental demons until he couldn't go on living any more.
I believe I heard something about that regarding him many year's ago. Maybe that's when I heard what I commented about. 😕
Not sure if this can be universalized to all comedians, but consider the example of Robin Williams. Very funny man who brought happiness to many people over a long career, yet was secretly struggling with his own depression and mental demons until he couldn't go on living any more.
It has been my (very anecdotal) experience that creative outputs are self-therapy. Those of us who stretch our imaginations more than others often seem to need to do so. Artists, actors, comedians, chefs, those who create do so to fill or fix something inside them.
You can not save a drowning man if you are as well. Yeah I know but it still hurts when I can not, or worse fail and the other does *drown*.
Gaia bless for the art and message to live by
Pakesh_De
Snoofy old burr.
Gaia bless for the art and message to live by
Pakesh_De
Snoofy old burr.
Lately, i'm reading a lot of stoic philosophy. It has the same message. ^w^
Also found this beautiful quote: “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” Epictetus
Also found this beautiful quote: “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” Epictetus
I needed that. Not for myself, but for a couple (or even more) people like that.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
"You are not required to light yourself on fire to keep others warm"
Thank you
I get the whole philosophy of being responsible for your own happiness but thats a very simplified and perfect vision of the world No sadly people are responsible for others happiness and at times they can be bad people intent on making you miserable. I am so happy to see others who are cheerful and respectful and just want others to be happy with them
It hurts so much when you meet one who is just there to aggrandize themselves and take advantage of such good people inner nature. Despite my more scientific background I would say simply because humans are irrational creatures There really is a level of good and evil in this world those who will irrationally fight to make themselves happy even if their selfishness makes them miserable and those who will do anything to make others happy even if cutting their arms off for them make them miserable. Its so hard to find a balance
I get the whole philosophy of being responsible for your own happiness but thats a very simplified and perfect vision of the world No sadly people are responsible for others happiness and at times they can be bad people intent on making you miserable. I am so happy to see others who are cheerful and respectful and just want others to be happy with them
It hurts so much when you meet one who is just there to aggrandize themselves and take advantage of such good people inner nature. Despite my more scientific background I would say simply because humans are irrational creatures There really is a level of good and evil in this world those who will irrationally fight to make themselves happy even if their selfishness makes them miserable and those who will do anything to make others happy even if cutting their arms off for them make them miserable. Its so hard to find a balance
But then you are called selfish. It's a no win situation, or better said it's not so black and white. There is more nuance to it but it's a start.
I'm going to say this.
I don't often get the chance to make other people happy. But every time I do, I at least try. People say to think of myself first, or at least at the same time. I AM thinking of myself as well. There is an amazing sensation in making someone else smile, or doing something for someone that they appreciate, or helping out when you can that makes the effort put into doing such things extremely trivial. I wish I could do it more often, honestly.
I don't often get the chance to make other people happy. But every time I do, I at least try. People say to think of myself first, or at least at the same time. I AM thinking of myself as well. There is an amazing sensation in making someone else smile, or doing something for someone that they appreciate, or helping out when you can that makes the effort put into doing such things extremely trivial. I wish I could do it more often, honestly.
And what about those jerks who get happy from making other people miserable?
You can provide people the opportunity to be happy, but you cannot *make* them be happy.
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