File type: Text File (.txt) [Download]
-----------------------------------------
Excitement ran through Ri and Two’s home as everyone prepared for their visit to Vermilion City. Red was warming up in the practice gym while Blue paced impatiently in the living room anxious to see more of Kanto. Ri and Two lay on the couch beside him, cuddling like usual but in a way that let them use their laptops to research the place before they visited it.
Ri and Two were excited like Red and Blue were – they wanted to chill and relax and celebrate Two’s recent mood after facing his insecurities - but it was always scary, going out and visiting a city, too. They were nervous and anxious about the people, especially after their recent fight with a stranger in Cerulean City. They learned they were less and less known the further from home they went, which meant they were more and more likely to come across people who held grudges against Two or questioned their place as gym leaders. The gym battle was – once again – rather early in the morning, so to help distract themselves from their nervousness about visiting the city, Ri and Two tried to research things they could do afterward that they could be excited about. They’d already discovered Vermilion City was a port town – so they expected to find markets selling all kinds of things – but otherwise they liked to look for stuff like museums, or cafes, things that interested them that they could make into ‘events.’
Vermilion City seems to be the home of the Kanto Pokemon Fan Club; we should probably try to avoid it, Two suggested.
Good idea, Ri agreed.
“A – fan club?” Blue asked, stopping in his tracks.
A group of people that appreciate pokemon like… people appreciate appreciating stamps, Two tried to explain. Blue seemed confused; Ri knew Two sometimes wasn’t the best at communicating but he understood what Two was trying to say so he explained for Blue:
They tend to care more about being fans of pokemon than they actually care about pokemon, Ri drew out. They’d – flock around us, if they decide we’re interesting.
He shuddered; he couldn’t imagine hundreds, tens – any people at all fanboying and fangirling around them. He wanted none of it; he just wanted to be left alone with Two.
“Lucario in Kanto… there’s two of us, now,” Blue guessed.
… Two, Ri corrected. And – my ‘special’ coloring. It’s not like… Lucario are special around here. Just not native.
It fell sour in Ri’s mouth as he said it; he managed to appreciate his color, but that came with the context of surviving the abuse that made him that color. He didn’t mind that Two appreciated his color because Two didn’t devalue the trauma that caused it. These people, however… Ri shuddered again, thinking how many of them would want to ‘collect’ him just because he wasn’t colored like a normal Lucario.
We’ll avoid them, Two assured him, putting his arm around him to comfort him.
“I’m – sorry,” Blue said awkwardly. “I… forget that you’re special, Two.”
Ri sensed Two wasn’t sure how to take it. On the one paw, he would’ve done anything to not be special, but on the other, he was special and there was nothing he could do about it. At least on this world. Blue happened to know several Mewtwo and he lived among them his whole life; it was understandable that he’d be desensitized to Mewtwo being unique.
I – appreciate you treating me normally, Two said awkwardly. Ri felt bad for Two; he still had trouble emoting naturally with Red and Blue.
“I wouldn’t want to see the pokemon fan club either,” Blue agreed. “Are there – parks or open places we could just hang out?”
Probably, Ri offered. It’s a port town, so we’re guessing there’s going to be markets we can shop at.
“Like – stuff from around the world?” Blue considered, lighting up.
Yeah, Two confirmed.
“That sounds fun,” Blue projected.
It – does, Ri agreed.
We were looking for other things too, Two said.
There was a war museum, but…
Ri nearly shuddered thinking about it. No matter how much it mattered that humanity memorialized war and what it was like, Ri wanted nothing to do with it. It made him feel sick to think about, bringing up past memories he didn’t want to think about.
“Doesn’t sound fun,” Blue summarized.
No, Ri asserted.
There’s sure to be other things, Two said, intending to comfort Ri more so than Blue. Ri nuzzled against his chest, thankful for Two’s effort and sure that they would find something fun to do.
In the meantime, Blue started pacing again, showing his excitement to go. They had a bit to wait still, though, so Ri and Two kept looking for places to visit. Like most cities, there was all the usual stuff – restaurants, chain stores, movie theaters, bowling alleys, stuff like that. If they wanted to do any of that, they could just go to Pallet Town, though. They wanted something unique to Vermilion that helped them learn about the city and made it feel ‘worth it’ to go there instead of some place they were more familiar with.
“Wouldn’t there be a bunch of boats?” Blue asked.
No boats, Ri said quickly.
“Why – not?” Blue asked. Ri’d caught him off guard; it was relatively rare with him. Ri’s reaction to it was almost visceral, though; he couldn’t imagine going near a big boat like the ones that he was sure frequented Vermilion City. Blue bringing it up brought him near to panicking immediately; he couldn’t afford to think about it too much.
Ri was captured on a boat, Two explained. When he was practically powerless to escape.
“Oh – I never –”
Ri understood; they’d never explained to him how he’d been captured by Cipher. He didn’t blame Blue for touching on it accidentally, but it didn’t stop his mind from wandering to it and thinking too much about it. He tried to control himself; he was safe now with Two.
“I’m sorry,” Blue said.
Ri, Two called softly, trying to get him to snap out of it.
I’m – Ri responded, out of it. He felt Two pull him in close; it helped to ground him and remind him he was at home and completely out of danger. He sighed, trying to let go of it. I’m – OK, he reiterated. When Ri felt stabilized, Two finally turned to Blue.
It’s not your fault, he said.
Blue just remained silent and kept along pacing; Ri understood he was just trying to let him be. He appreciated it; he needed the moment.
No boats, Two repeated softly; Ri sensed he didn’t even voice it to Blue. Ri knew how it was; the stuff he’d been through was traumatic to Two, too. Ri had been lost, but Two had lost him; Two’s reaction to Blue was as much for his own self-defense as it was to help protect Ri. Ri nuzzled against him again to help comfort him and reassure him he was still with him; Two seemed to settle down a bit and relax around him.
In Two’s embrace Ri tried to calm down, and turned his mind back to looking over things they could do as a group in Vermilion. Memories lingered in the back of his mind, however; they weren’t easy to dispel when they worked their way into Ri’s conscious mind. He wanted to let go and have fun with Two and their friends, but they subtly threatened him constantly with flashbacks and relapses until he managed to feel secure again. He hoped that going out and having fun would help distract him and that the people would let him and Two feel safe.
We should be relatively safe in Vermilion, Two suggested. At least – there should be less hostility than there was in Cerulean. He sounded bitter about it; Ri understood what he was trying to say and why he was apprehensive about mentioning it in detail. In response, Blue paused in his pacing for a moment but then continued on silently. It would’ve gone unnoticed by Ri and Two except for being able to sense his interest in what Two was saying then realizing that it was better to let it go. Ri further sensed Two appreciated that he backed off, but he sensed Two wondered about it, too. He settled quietly while he waited for Two to bring it up.
I suppose… if it does not define me then I do not have to worry about sharing it, Two said, apprehensively.
You don’t – have to, either, Ri suggested.
I… feel like I need to try, Two asserted. Ri sensed how it was; it was a sort of ‘personal feat’ for Two, a way for him to show himself that it all didn’t bother him so much anymore.
OK, Ri said. I’m here for you, I care for you.
Thank you, Two said, softly. Ri sensed how Two appreciated it; he was thankful he was able to help Two feel better as Two prepared himself to open up to Blue a little bit.
I didn’t – attack Vermilion like I did Cerulean and the other nearby cities. It is less likely for the people there to… despise me because I never attacked them, Two explained to Blue. This made him stop in his tracks again to consider it.
“… Thank you for explaining,” Blue said.
… Sure, Two said, awkwardly. It had been more for him than for Blue, Ri understood, and Two was still being fairly awkward anyway.
“But – isn’t Vermilion closer than Cerulean?” Blue wondered out loud.
Vermilion was vital for Team Rocket… Giovanni wouldn’t want me to attack it. He had it under control anyway, Two said, with an edge of self-disgust in his voice. He tried to let it go, though, as Ri started worrying about him. He’d started to squeeze Ri a little bit, but he seemed to notice and back off and nearly start to panic until he sensed Ri was OK. He squeezed Ri again but reassuringly this time; Ri knew Two cared dearly about him and always felt bad for scaring him.
Ri sensed the guilt Two still felt for being that pokemon and the way he despised his participation in Giovanni’s plots, but it was wrapped in confusion about what it meant for who he was now, too. Ri felt bad for him; he couldn’t just feel guilty, he had to feel guilty and suffer as he struggled to accept it and define himself understanding that it was a part of him but that it didn’t entirely define him, either.
“Giovanni sounds like an evil person,” Blue said.
The leader of Team Rocket, Two said, He… was, he emphasized. He was… the person who funded my creation and the one who tried to use me to take control of Kanto.
Two, Ri called out, trying to draw Two away from this stuff. He knew it was important, but at the same time, he didn’t want Two to get caught up in it when they were looking forward to doing stuff together.
– Right, Two remembered, snapping out of it. I need to let go of it, he asserted, this time to let Blue know to stop asking and let it go too. Blue went back to pacing, waiting for Red, emphasizing that it was starting to feel like it was taking forever for Red to be ready. Two relaxed around Ri again but pulled him in close; Ri was happy to be close to him. Ri sensed he wasn’t in the greatest mood, though; it was a discouraging start to their visit out.
Thanks, Two said, a touch dejected.
Of course, Ri said, pulling his paw from his laptop to take Two’s arm around his chest. They ended up spending some time lying in their shared dejection; they’d learned that they needed to give feelings like that time to assert themselves and work through them a little bit; they needed to let themselves feel it so they didn’t repress it and break down worse in the future. They ended up appreciating the time Red was using up, but they were thankful too as they finally sensed Red coming down the hallway from the practice gym.
“–what happened here?” Red said, as he came out to see Ri and Two and Blue being rather miserable together. He sounded concerned but at the same time he seemed a bit miffed; it grated on Ri a bit but he kind of understood how it was for Red to walk in on them being this way, too.
We’re just being… us, Ri said. It was rather depressing for him to admit, but he and Two were at least able to show Red.
“Conflicted about visiting Vermilion,” Blue tried to explain.
“Do – you want to come with me, then?” Red wondered out loud. He seemed discouraged by it too – and somewhat frustrated by it at the same time. Ri didn’t really like it; there wasn’t much they could do about it but it didn’t mean they didn’t want to go.
Yes we do, just give us a moment! Two snapped.
“ – Sorry,” Red said, intimidated out of the slight indignation he felt.
– I – Two said, backing down immediately, realizing what he’d said.
“Just… take your time,” Red said, deflated. “I trust you guys.”
Red turned around and let them alone, making Ri and Two feel worse about it. Two especially was out of it; Ri gave him the time he needed to settle down from his outburst. The situation was strange: Red was excited about this, and he’d come out to Ri and Two being apprehensive about it and insecure because of it. They believed they could withstand it – they were working their way out of it – but it didn’t change that Red had come out and seen them be that way. It wasn’t totally fair of Red to treat them the way he did, but it wasn’t totally fair of them to be the way they were being, either. Like usual… the blame lay a little with all of them. Ri sensed Two want to discuss a bit when he settled down; he waited, open to listen.
I do look forward to this trip, Two assured Ri.
I do too, Ri reflected back. He was thankful they managed to keep it.
Red… still can be a little hard to live with, Two mentioned.
Yeah… Ri agreed. But… it’s better.
Two seemed to agree back.
I appreciate him sticking with us, Two said.
I do too, Ri agreed.
Before they were used to the idea of liking Red and Blue around, they would’ve been very careful with saying stuff like that. But – as they let Red and Blue into their lives they learned what the difference was between mates and friends a little bit. And – as they learned about themselves, they realized they needed to form some amount of reliance on themselves which enabled them to be less dependent on each other. It was hard but they were trying.
They spent a little while longer preparing themselves – knowing the time they needed to leave was very near and almost already passed, they picked themselves up and decompressed relatively easily, stabilizing their moods and putting everything that had happened behind them a little bit. They still had to retrieve Red, though, since he seemed to be waiting for them in his room. They let Blue know they were going to fetch him, and, regretting having to let go of Two, Ri got up, and Two got up behind him. They made their way to Red’s room and knocked, preparing themselves to face whatever it was he was thinking and feeling inside.
“Red?” he asked out loud, to make sure Red knew it was him and Two. The door opened and Ri saw Red standing just inside looking toward them. Red was their friend, but… sometimes it was hard. Ri didn’t want to give up on it, though, and he sensed Two didn’t want to, either. Stuff like this happened sometimes, they learned to be able to withstand it. It didn’t ruin them anymore, which was the important part. Red was a little more understanding too, so it didn’t seem so difficult to approach him like this as it once did.
“What is it?” Red asked, fairly calmly.
We’re… ready to go, Ri said. He said it confidently, which was a relief and a comfort to be able to do, especially with the added weight it held.
“OK,” Red said. “I’ll be right out.”
OK, Ri said. Ri and Two turned to wait a little longer in the living room for Red, but –
“Wait,” Red said. Ri and Two turned back around to listen, surprised by the sudden call. “I am sorry,” he said.
– We are too, Ri said back. It was enough; Red closed the door and Ri and Two went back out to the living room. It was enough; they didn’t really need more from him.
“He…” Blue started, apparently confused by the complexity of the exchange they’d just shared with Blue, especially since he could only sense Ri and Two’s half of it.
He was excited, saw us being… the way we usually are, threatening ruining a trip out, Two said shortly but not… unkindly. We were alarmed by his quick judgement of the situation. Sometimes… it escalates a little too quickly, he admitted, guiltily. Ri nudged him to try to help him; Two smiled slightly in appreciation, then managed to hold it as they let go and turned ahead to trying to enjoy themselves in Vermilion again. Ri shared it, happy to look forward again instead of getting caught up. They waited in the living room for Red, standing together with Blue since they finally anticipated him showing up very soon. Ri soon sensed him emerging from his room and they anticipated him coming out, preparing themselves for the trip they were about to share. It was exciting, but it couldn’t help being scary, too, and Ri just hoped that he and Two would get to have fun.
When Red appeared he seemed calm and relaxed; Ri guessed he was warmed up and prepared from his practice in the gym. He’d sensed Red performing his various kinds of attacks, wondering a little why he was exerting himself before his battle, especially when he could expect to have to battle several trainers before getting to reach Omar, but he understood, too. It helped him pass the time and it helped him feel ready when he’d nearly been defeated by Misty in his last gym battle. Now that he’d revealed he could manipulate his opponents to see whatever he wanted, he had to be much more careful with it.
“I’m ready,” he said. Ri looked at him, looking between Red and Blue and gauging how they felt.
OK, he said. We are too.
“Let’s get to it then,” Red said. “I’ve never met Omar; this is going to be new for all of us.”
The thought of meeting the new electric-type gym leader was indeed worrying for Ri and Two, but they also hoped that Omar would be able to approach them without any prior judgement, not treating them like friends like Misty tried but also not treating them like they were enemies like they worried other people would do. Whatever it was – they had to meet him to follow Red through his Challenge, so they sighed together, following Red and Blue out of their house through their old gym. Closing up behind them, Ri and Two turned into the morning coastal Cinnabar air, practically dripping with the smell of saltwater all around and into the day lit up with the bright morning sun. It was refreshing, Ri supposed, but he much preferred places like the forest and especially at night, when the air was cooler and the sun wasn’t out. It was pleasant, at least, as they got their bearings and guessed where they had to go. Once everyone gave their OK, Two floated them up, then started flying them all toward Vermilion City. This was the worst part of visiting a new city (aside from all the people); they couldn’t teleport to a place they hadn’t seen so they had to withstand the buffeting, chilly winds while Two sped them to their destination so they arrived relatively promptly. Their fur helped a bit at least, but it almost didn’t make a difference when air blasted through their fur as quickly as it did when Two was flying. At the very least, Two could protect them enough so that they could look down at Kanto as they flew over it. It was fascinating, getting to see Kanto from high up like this; Ri didn’t really tire of it. He supposed too that he and Two didn’t fly like this often enough for it to get old. Kanto was laid out under them, though, and Ri could even almost see Rota in the north, but he focused on Kanto and on their destination, Vermilion. The first thing he saw was Fuchsia City and the Safari Zone just north of it, but he didn’t really want to think about that until it was time for him and Two to deal with it. He looked ahead to Vermilion in the distance, with its ports and markets. Nothing was really discernable yet, but Ri kind of saw how the place interfaced with the sea and anticipated it being busy because of it. He guessed there would be a lot of people from around the world there, but he supposed that there were more likely to be people from different regions visiting than there used to be. It would be exciting for Blue, he supposed, and at the same time he hoped it meant that he and Two wouldn’t have so much of a problem as they worried about if a sizeable portion of the community weren’t natively Kantoan. At the same time, it felt like there could be more people who would try to hurt them, and the nearby boats – Ri shuddered as well as he could supported and restrained by Two’s power. Two was with him this time, so he was sure he would be safe, but still memories loomed in the back of his mind, and he didn’t know what he would’ve done if he were somehow captured again.
He tried to cast it aside as they approached and the city started to become easier to see. They were there because Red wanted to share his Gym Challenge with them, and they were there to have fun once Red challenged Omar. Ri managed to feel safe in Pallet, Veridian, and even in Pewter and Cerulean; he hoped he and Two would manage it in Vermilion, too. He tried to sense how Two was doing too, since poor Two was lost in thought himself. Still fresh from visiting the lab, memories of Two’s past ran through his head. His felt his own dislike toward the humans, and had his own questions and insecurities about his place and how visiting Vermilion was going to be. It made Ri wonder a bit: did Red really understand how difficult it was for them to visit a place like this? Aside from the overwhelming presence of auras which could easily overstimulate Ri if he wasn’t careful, they both had all sorts of personal baggage that made it a huge emotional hurtle to overcome. He knew it was difficult for himself too, but he felt bad for Two, and hoped that he could figure things out so that he didn’t have to question himself so much whenever he had to face people. Ri thought he was an adorable, kind pokemon… he hoped Two would learn to let himself be that pokemon despite regretting being a monster in the past.
Ri sensed as Two noticed and surfaced from his train of thought. Ri rather regretted pulling Two out of it, but at the same time they had to be careful with overthinking. Instead – Two was able to reflect over the thinking he’d done instead of being stuck in the mindset Ri’d pulled him out of.
– Basketcases, Two said, rather playfully. It was a little old, but he liked to carefully tease Ri with it since Ri had come up with it to describe them at a time when they felt they were falling apart and desperately needed each other’s support along with that of Red and Blue’s forgiveness and understanding. They saw shadows of that time sometimes when they paid attention; it was a reminder that they weren’t able to properly take in and navigate the problems that happened around them.
At least we’re trying, Ri said, taking in the extent of things that were going on in their life at the moment.
It’s still a lot harder than we thought.
… We’ll try our best to have fun, Ri said, trying to counter what Two was saying. It was discouraging thinking how difficult it was just to be ‘normal’ pokemon; they needed to focus on their willingness to try more so than the relatively little progress they felt they made.
Yeah, Two agreed. I also need to focus to make sure I don’t drop any of you, he teased.
I need to just… remain calm, Ri figured. It was almost like a battle; he could become overwhelmed if he didn’t consciously maintain an effort to keep himself centered.
I need to – hold back, Two admitted. Again, I snapped at Red so quickly.
Ri realized that was on Two’s mind too. Two was quick to be defensive – especially when it came to Ri. Ri appreciated him being willing to protect him, but he agreed that Two could sometimes snap when it wasn’t right for him to.
He seemed to understand, Ri offered.
It doesn’t change that I need to grow, Two said, seriously. Ri understood; they couldn’t let themselves get away with not being good friends.
It’s – Ri poked, but he had difficulty getting the thought out as he felt it made Two look bad.
I understand, Two said. I watched you learn you needed to grow but didn’t realize that I needed to do it to for too long.
Ri felt bad for Two; in his awkward way he was insecure about it – he felt bad about it but he had a hard time expressing it. He wanted to cuddle into Two and reassure him, but it was impossible in mid-air like this.
… I care, Two said resolutely. I will figure it out.
… You’re a good pokemon, Ri said. It was a little awkward for him; he wanted to let Two know how much he cared and wanted to help, but he ended up letting Two sense it.
Thank you, Two said, encompassing everything Ri was thinking. He softened up; Ri sensed him warming up from Ri being adorable. Ri wasn’t particularly trying, but he was happy he ended up helping Two let go and remember about the fun they wanted to have in Vermilion. It was hard and scary to Ri for it to be a little awkward between him and Two, but he loved Two, and trusted Two loved him back; he understood that they were growing, learning about themselves again, and he trusted that they cared enough about each other to stick with each other and help each other through it. At the very least, Two feeling better encouraged Ri and helped him to feel a little more sure, just as they were approaching Vermilion.
It looked like a lively city up close, and Ri sensed the familiar jumble of auras ahead of him of millions of people going about their days. He had to ignore it; he tried focusing on finding the various markets he expected to explore with Two, Red, and Blue, and tried to recognize the Gym from the many buildings he saw.
Vermilion wasn’t a huge city, but it had the urban qualities that Ri was familiar with from Veridian, Pewter, and less so Cerulean. City blocks, all tending to reach upward to fit more people in the same space. A prominent – though small – area of relatively high-rise buildings that made up the financial/business center of the city. Various surrounding suburbs for all the people who wanted to have the city experience but didn’t want to commit to it 24/7. On top of that, the port which managed all sorts of ships and people and goods. In a detached state, Ri thought it was kind of cool but he wanted nothing to do with it. The markets, which Ri’d remarked before. It was all there; Vermilion was definitely a small modern city.
As Two lowered them down, Ri sensed excitement build within both Red and Blue. He felt the excitement, but he felt the anxiety along with it too, and knew Two was feeling similar things too. He considered trying to navigate them straight to the Gym, but figured it didn’t make sense to try before they touched down. Aside from the GPS likely being confused until they were on the ground again, it was difficult maneuvering when Two’s power was lifting him. His body never acted like he expected it to when Two was applying his power to it, and he didn’t want to hurt himself or make anything hard on Two who’d already admitted it could be difficult concentrating to make sure they were all safe. He waited until he was safe on the ground, then teleported himself his phone so he could get them straight to the pokemon center without trying to guess where it could be.
“It seems like this place changed too,” Red said, now that he could finally talk without yelling. “It wasn’t as big when I visited the first time.”
Seems like a common theme, Two pointed out factually. It’s been 10 years at least since you last toured Kanto.
“10 years…” The thought seemed to affect Red; Ri hoped it wouldn’t be too distracting for him while he navigated to the Gym. Once his phone calculated their route he was happy to see it wasn’t too far away; upon checking the time he’d noticed that they were brushing up pretty close to the time around which they’d let Omar know to expect them.
It’s not too far, he said, already moving to take the lead. Two chose a lucky place to land, the Gym is pretty easy to get to from this side of the city.
Good to know, Two said. Ri noticed the tone he used – slightly playful like ‘I don’t even have to try to be smart to be smart,’ and glanced at him knowingly, finding his mate cute for the slight show of smugness. Two expressed his satisfaction inwardly, but Ri was able to sense it and move on, leading the others into the city.
Getting into Vermilion City wasn’t as convoluted as taking boats into Cerulean, but it still wasn’t direct. They had to cross over the main road into the city to get to the Gym but there at least was a bridge so they didn’t have to endanger themselves with traffic. It was rather amusing, Ri had to admit, to think of all the humans in their cars and trucks looking up to see 4 pokemon walking over them while they were stuck in traffic. And – witnessing the nightmare of stop’n’go traffic below them made Ri greatly appreciate Two’s quick, direct, traffic-free flight. Ri honestly appreciated a lot about being a pokemon when he thought about what it was like for humans; he had powers, an innate ability to protect himself and his mate, fur, and an ability to understand both humans and pokemon, all of which he greatly appreciated. He didn’t think about it often, but it came up at times like this when he saw how his life could be inconvenient if he didn’t have such powers – or, really, a mate who did.
As they approached the gym on their left, they tried to take the city in a little bit. In some ways it was better for Ri to immerse himself into a city than it was to hang on the outside and experience the whole thing as one entity, but at the same time, he couldn’t look anywhere and find rest from sensing many different auras. He had to try to ignore it, and he focused on navigating to the gym to do so. He did glean some details, mostly from Two – they were going straight for the city center so the buildings quickly towered above them. It made even Two feel small, and the way they were rather densely packed in this area of the city got to him, too. Ri sensed thoughts of Rocket running through his mind; Rocket had been disbanded years ago but it was a shady organization; no one could ever be sure that it truly died. Despite his assurances that they’d be safer, ghosts of Two’s past still haunted him. Ri felt bad for him, but he forged ahead, hoping that getting to the gym would help, at least in the short-term.
Besides the size of the buildings, Ri sensed Two notice the state of them. They were clean, technically, but it was usually hard for a city not to seem dirty and lived-in. The cars driving by them were rather unnerving; Ri and Two had managed to drive one together once but were relatively unfamiliar with them. And – they had to try relatively hard to stick together. At least among the cities of Kanto they visited, Vermilion was the largest and most active, with many people walking up and down the sidewalk around Ri, Two, Red, and Blue. They had to watch out for themselves and their friends to make sure they didn’t get lost; Ri and Two and Blue at least all had senses to help themselves keep track of each other and watch out for any potential danger.
As Ri came upon the Gym, he hoped that, for at least a little while, they could put all that stuff behind them for a bit. He stopped in front of it as he waited for Two, Red, and Blue to collect their bearings, and tried to take notice of what it looked like for once. It was labelled with a large pokeball symbol in yellow, designating it as the Electric type gym of the region. Otherwise, the building was fairly ordinary. It kind of surprised Ri – he thought that his and Two’s gym was the odd one out for being rather nondescript – but he guessed it was kind of usual for the gyms of Kanto. He sensed a battle going on inside, and he hoped that it was a trainer against Omar so Red could get to his challenge quickly. Aside from that, he sensed a usual cohort of trainers inside tasked with testing a challenger before they even reached the leader, and he guessed there would be some sort of puzzle for Red in usual Kanto style. Ri wondered what Omar would look for in a trainer; he had to admit to himself that he was kind of interested, even though he and Two had given up on being Gym leaders.
We’ve lived in our own bubble even while it was our job to pay attention, Two pointed out. It’s interesting seeing how our fellow gym leaders deal with a challenger.
Ri sighed; he understood that he and Two closed up and stuck to themselves for a long time. It was daunting, but opening up to the world again was something they were trying to do, at least in the long-run. At least, he figured that this little way of interacting with the world wasn’t too stressful on them; it went right along with the kinds of stuff they were interested in – especially since it didn’t overwhelm them to engage in it in this way.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“This looks the same,” Red mentioned. “I wonder if it’s the same inside, too.”
“I guess we’ll find out,” Blue said. “Will this be like Cerulean?”
“Probably,” Red said. “Most of the gyms in Kanto work the same way.”
“Why was yours different?” Blue wondered out loud, addressing Ri and Two.
We thought our own battle with the challenger was enough.
“Could it have been easier to have some kind of challenge to help with having too many challengers?”
–Maybe? Ri offered, sheepishly.
We would’ve needed to hire people we trusted and maintained the puzzle, Two countered, saving Ri the embarrassment of being pressed like that. It made sense to Ri; he couldn’t see himself or Two dealing with it.
“We could’ve helped you, I suppose,” Red offered.
We needed to let go of it, Ri said, starting to feel bothered by it. There was no going back; they’d given up on it. He trusted that it was a good idea for them to do, and it felt like their decision was drawing them toward where they needed to be; he didn’t want to regret letting go of the gym.
We should go on, Two suggested, pushing everyone to let go of the topic. Ri was happy to; he wanted to see what the place was like inside, and he was excited to get to the stuff they wanted to do afterward together. He let Red lead the way, though, since Red was the challenger, and he followed behind, leading Two and Blue in.
++++?
The place was dark; it surprised Ri as, for a moment, he couldn’t see anything. He nearly bumped into Red – except for sensing him and managing to stop before he walked straight into him. His eyes adjusted fairly quickly, though, and he could make out shapes in the darkness as he navigated beside Red so Two and Blue had room to come in behind him. There was a wall in front of them, he could see, with a doorway he guessed Red was going to go through. Beside it, under a dim lamp, stood a man, who seemed to notice them as they entered.
“Hello, welcome to the Vermilion Gym! I’m your guide, Voltaire, here to lead you on your way. Was it – pokemon, I saw coming through the door? Where’s your trainer?” The guide was confused, like he hadn’t expected pokemon to show up. Ri understood, but it still bothered him that it couldn’t just be accepted that pokemon might walk into a place unaccompanied by humans.
“I’m Red, I’m a challenger,” Red said, a little curtly.
“Red–” Voltaire drew out like he was trying to remember, “Oh yes, Omar mentioned you. It’s odd to see a pokemon challenging a Gym all by itself – and it’s rare to find pokemon who can speak.”
“You would find we’re all able to speak,” Red said, unamused. It really bothered Ri to hear Voltaire call Red an it; it took all the power he had not to yell at him for dehumanizing them. He felt his ears go back and his will buckle, but he kept it together, mostly because he recognized he was asserting it for Red’s sake by choosing to ignore the guy and didn’t want to make it difficult for Red. Two seemed to notice and tense up; Ri was relieved to not cause a problem and he was happy he managed to calm himself for Two’s sake. Two seemed bothered by it too, but… they both recognized that it wasn’t worth disrupting Red.
“Well, then –” Voltaire started awkwardly, “your task is ahead of you; you must navigate the maze in the dark with whatever tools you have at your disposal. Omar wants to see the spark of your determination; you will show it by overcoming the challenges ahead.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Red said confidently. Sounding like that – Ri guessed he wouldn’t have much of a problem.
“If you are the sole challenger, your friends will not be able to join you, but they will be allowed to watch and cheer on once you reach Omar.”
“I’ll see you guys when I reach Omar then,” Red said. He sounded excited and enthusiastic; Ri was happy, in some way, for him to be excited for this.
Have – fun, Ri said, a touch awkwardly.
“I hope it will be,” Red said.
“Don’t get lost,” Blue offered.
“I’ll find my way through,” Red assured.
With that, Voltaire opened the gate Ri guessed allowed trainers to shortcut back outside when they either won or lost. Blue was closest, so he started through and Ri and Two followed behind him, leaving Red to face the gym by himself. They followed along; it seemed to be separated from the main area so it was dimly lit, making it a little easier for them to be on their way. It was kind of funny, Ri thought, for an electric gym to have barely any light at all, but he guessed the point was that the challenger had to prove their own electricity, in a way – show how brightly they shone in the dark. Ri knew Red was pretty bright – at least when Ri and Two didn’t stop him from it – so he didn’t really worry, but he dreaded having to sense Red navigate the maze without being able to see him or have any idea what he was doing except by what he sensed from him. It became worse as the maze extended for a couple floors above them, making them guess Red would have a few challenges to overcome, until finally they came out into a brightly lit room which they guessed was Omar’s battlefield. As they came out, it seemed like his battle was just finishing, which was a relief for Ri, Two, and Blue.
“Ah, too bad,” Omar said, sounding genuinely apologetic. “You’ve got a spark – a charge that I saw and felt – but it wasn’t enough to overcome my resistance. Go – train up – make your spark brighter – and challenge again soon. I’m excited to see you truly shine!”
Ri guessed Omar’s enthusiastic tone was encouraging, but Ri found his commitment to the electricity metaphor cringy and sensed Two hurting inside because he actually understood how electricity worked and it seemed Omar didn’t. They tried to let it go, though, and hoped they wouldn’t have to bear it for long.
The trainer rushed past Ri, Two, and Blue, however, making Ri happy they were out of the way already. Omar watching the challenger escape to care for their pokemon naturally drew his attention to them, making Ri want to withdraw and his ears droop and tail swish in uncertainty while Omar looked them over.
“Ri, Two, it’s so electrifying to finally meet you! You hole yourselves up in that gym in Cinnabar, I always kind of wondered what sort of exciting stuff you get yourselves into.”
He started coming over to greet the three of them, making Ri tense up in panic as Omar approached as if he was going to hug them or touch them. He luckily didn’t have to assert himself; Omar never reached them and Ri realized Two dealt with it by glaring at Omar.
“–Alright then,” Omar said awkwardly, stepping back. “It’s still good to see you,” he continued, un-dissuaded from his mood. “I always admired the way you handled your gym, I can’t imagine what sort of spark you must have to dominate challengers time after time.”
Ri wondered even through the discomfort he felt: did Omar even know Two’s origin? He and Two had assumed that it was common knowledge, but Ri realized that if it was long enough, people might have known Two existed without the context of his origin or who he was before Red caught him. It was something to think about, he thought – basically, could Two engage the world some day without his history of terrorizing Kanto hanging over him? He hoped it could be that way, vaguely, at least underneath the uncomfortable-ness of dealing with this encounter with Omar. He realized they needed to say something, so he tried to make himself respond.
We’re strong, Ri said unenthused and hesitantly.
Once the initial uncertainty of the interaction with Omar wore off, Ri was able to look back and think over what Omar was like a little more even-headedly. Omar’s quick pace put Ri off a bit, especially when he seemed like he was trying to act like he was their friend already, and his presumptions of what Ri and Two did at home bothered him, making him feel guilty about what they did do. He just wanted to chill and have fun with Two; it wasn’t some constant search for thrill like Omar seemed to think it was. He tried to withstand it but it was a little overwhelming; he wanted out and hoped that Omar would either back off if they kept hinting they weren’t willing to interact like he wanted or that Red would arrive quickly so he would be distracted by the battle.
“I would love it if you showed me some time,” Omar responded, not seemingly figuring it out yet.
– Maybe, Ri managed to say, but he was already reaching his limit. It made him tense and uncomfortable; Omar seemed obligated to get to have a battle with them when Ri really didn’t want to.
“You’ve got a friend going through the gym right now, right? A gym challenger who’s a pokemon…” Omar hung on it for a little while, apparently considering its consequence.
“I’m excited to see what they have to offer; they must shine brightly if they can handle a gym all by themselves.”
He’s a strong Zoroark, Ri said.
“Zoroark… Misty told me about its trick during her battle –”
Red’s a he, Ri asserted. We’re not animals, we’re – Ri realized what he was doing; he caught himself and drooped in shame and guilt, looking at his mate, vulnerable and out of his depth already. Two seemed to hold back judgement; it mattered as much what happened after Ri did something like that as it did what happened in the first place.
“… I see you shine brightly, too. You’ve encountered much resistance; you must have much strength to overcome it.”
Ri felt exposed; he hated how Omar reduced the things he’d experienced to an analogy to electricity. He needed Two; luckily Two didn’t seem averse to come and hug him – practically hiding him from Omar since he was taller as he fought breaking down.
… He sees, Two said to Ri privately, but calmly. If we can’t control ourselves, we can’t hide what’s happened to us.
I know, Ri said weakly. I’m – he was sorry, but it was difficult for him to say.
It’s not OK, Two said, but I understand, let me help you.
Ri was happy to give himself to Two.
There’s a time for having fun with analogies; this isn’t it, Two asserted on Ri’s behalf. He turned suddenly bitter and hard, in an effort to protect himself and Ri.
“You fiercely protect – him,” Omar managed to say, hanging on Ri’s pronouns because he wasn’t used to it. “It seems humans have hurt you. I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive us.”
Two didn’t say anything, but Ri saw he was getting worked up, too.
This is why I have no right to judge you, Two said, darkly.
“Guys –” Blue said, in Lucario. Ri sensed him worry; he was trying to break through to them but it didn’t work as well as Red was able to.
“Do you speak as well, Lucario?”
Blue, Blue asserted telepathically, I have a name too. He sounded bothered too, like he didn’t want to be distracted from trying to help his friends.
“… My apologies. I might as well just leave you all alone; you’re welcome to wait and watch me fight your friend if you wish.”
… We’re here to watch our friend fight you, Blue said.
“… Fair enough.”
Omar disengaged them; Two let go of Ri and pulled him to the back of the arena so they were out of immediate sight and as hidden as possible as Omar waited for Red. He sat Ri down against the back wall, then sat down next to him, careful not to hurt his second neck. It took a few moments sitting overwhelmed, but Ri finally started to process what had happened.
… This is why we hole ourselves up, Ri said, discouraged.
… We always knew trying might get us hurt, Two commented.
I’m sorry, Ri said. I – he managed to say he was sorry, at least, but he still couldn’t handle much more than that.
It takes practice, Two comforted him. You’re better than you were; I’m thankful for your trying.
Ri took comfort in Two; he sighed to himself and drew from it to keep himself from getting worse. He sat in it for a little while, overwhelmed by how easily he was still… overwhelmed.
… I have no right to judge you, Two said again, as he seemed to be going over it in his head. I’m as broken a pokemon as you are. You break down, I…
The ease and casual-ness Two called Ri broken surprised him, but he didn’t really mind; he knew it. He felt bad about it though; he hated being the reason Two got worked up and aggressive. He didn’t want to put his mate in positions that made him aggressive anymore.
I don’t want to be aggressive like that anymore, Two admitted, but… at least I’m aggressive to protect you. There’s other, less worthy things I could get upset over.
Ri remained silent, impressed by Two’s ability to go over things in his head. Two was thinking: he wasn’t. At the same time, though, he started to realize: Two was thinking, but he wasn’t processing. He wanted to help Two; he wanted to draw it out of him.
How do you feel? Ri emphasized weakly, recognizing what was happening.
I’m… This was much more difficult for Two to process. He spent a little while thinking about it – removing the walls. I have no right to be upset at you, Two asserted. But I think I’m at least as upset at Omar.
Two… Ri called. He still felt guilty; Two had admitted, sideways, that he was upset at Ri. Whatever Two said was fair or not fair… Ri had made him upset.
And myself, Two qualified.
Two, Ri pleaded, this time for Two’s sake.
… If I’m a pokemon who cares, what do I care for? Two wondered out loud. I care for you. I know that. That’s why I’m protective of you. But I don’t want to be aggressive anymore, I care about that too. How do I reconcile those two things?
… I don’t know, Ri admitted. He was at a loss; he was too out of it himself to be able to help Two anymore. He wanted to, though; he realized it wasn’t a great place for him to be.
… I’m sorry, Two said, You need me.
Two leaned against Ri; Ri didn’t know how to feel about it. He appreciated Two helping him, of course, but Ri didn’t want to do it to Two anymore.
… I want to stop doing this to you, Ri said, guiltily. He hated falling apart on Two; he knew he needed to stop.
I know, Two said, I believe you.
I’m… sorry.
It’s OK, Two said softly. This time… I mean it.
… Thank you, always, Ri said, reflecting Two’s soft, tender mood.
You know I love you.
I love you too, Ri said.
He thought about it; he didn’t think Two should feel bad for opening himself up. Ri had asked him to. It lingered in his mind as he and Two cuddled as close as they felt comfortable. Blue sat down beside them eventually; Ri sensed his support even if he didn’t really say or do anything. Aside from that, Two feeling guilty for something Ri had asked him to do ate at Ri, so he pulled himself to address it.
I don’t think you should feel guilty, Ri said, I’d asked you to pay attention to yourself.
I know, Two said. Thank you, he continued softly; Ri was happy he appreciated it. It means a lot to me.
The slight praise helped Ri feel better; it helped him feel like he was doing better. He cared for Two… he recognized that, until now, he’d usually gotten caught up in himself and forgot about Two. He was happy he was learning to pay attention to Two more, even through his own events.
… I have to learn to let it be OK to let you handle yourself, Two admitted. I’m here for you, of course, but… I need to remember that I need to consider myself, too. If it’s wrong for me to get aggressive… I need to learn to stop myself and trust you.
Yeah, Ri agreed. It brought things he didn’t like up in his mind – he’d made Two repress himself to help him. I’ll… try to help, Ri said.
You did try, Two pointed out. Thank you.
I – Ri let it go. There was nothing wrong with Two being thankful for something he deserved from Ri, but he didn’t like that he’d made it something Two had to be thankful for. He was trying to change; he’d asserted that already so it felt like they’d run out of things to discuss at the moment, at least as it came to the encounter with Omar.
Also… Two started, there’s nothing wrong with asserting yourself. You need to… learn how to do it without self-destructing.
I understand, Ri said weakly. He knew, but he appreciated Two reassuring him. It’s hard, I don’t know how yet.
That’s why I’m here until you figure out how to handle it yourself, Two said.
Thank you, Ri said. He meant it as earnestly as he could; he understood now how much Two put himself aside for Ri’s sake.
You’re my mate, Two said, simply.
I want to make sure you can care for yourself too, Ri asserted. He felt Two look at him; it wasn’t a bad look, just – Ri was being able to assert something calmly, saying it without wrecking himself, and Two noticed. It was because Ri trusted Two; he didn’t feel like he had to compromise himself to ask from Two anything he needed.
I appreciate it too, Two said, settling back down beside him.
You’re my mate, Ri said.
You’re also adorable~ Two cooed, more like ‘himself.’ It was a relief for Two to be cute; it helped ease the tension and helped Ri forget the stuff that had bothered him. It showed that Two was content and happy, too; Ri hadn’t bothered him too much. He smiled a bit, which Two seemed to like; Ri was happy Two was feeling better too and Two lightened up in return.
The situation seemed to be over; Ri felt better and it seemed like Two was doing OK, leaning against him. Ri appreciated his closeness, even with Omar just in front of them. With his own and Two’s own immediate problems dealt with, there was nothing much to do but reflect on what had caused their misery in the first place: Omar. It brought back a bit of the pain Ri and Two had just tried to manage but at least Ri could reflect on it a little more calmly safe with Two at his side.
Ri knew people tended to use “it” to address pokemon. He hated it, and wished everyone would just treat them like people. He supposed most pokemon didn’t feel dehumanized by it, but for him and Two it was a matter of being treated like equals. Ri was a he like Omar was a he: somebody with thoughts, feelings, an identity. Two was, Blue was, Red was, any pokemon was. Ri couldn’t stand that identity being compromised. It had been taken from him and it had been beyond difficult for him to reclaim it and he’d been terrible to Two as he drowned without one. Two had convinced him to trust that he was worth something and bit by bit he reclaimed his identity – until now, when he finally started being some resemblance of the pokemon he was before Cipher took it from him. He needed his identity to be respected; that was why it was so hard on him for Omar to call Red an it. Whether it was fair or not… he didn’t know. He was aware he could be unfair because of his problems; it bothered him now, but admittedly not as much as it should’ve. He didn’t really care that he’d snapped at Omar except for how hard it was on Two – and how difficult it might end up being for Red when he finally showed up. On top of that, the way he’d broken down on Two and the way Two had dealt with it – they were pokemon with problems. They didn’t always deal with them healthily… it was becoming more and more apparent to Ri and Two as they started to understand more about themselves and as they wanted to stop being unhealthy. Ri wasn’t totally sure how they’d fix the behaviors they’d developed, but he hoped that he and Two could manage together while they figured out how to be healthy. It bothered Ri that he’d broken down on Two… that was the first step toward stopping being unfair to his mate. And Two… Two seemed to recognize he dealt with Ri unhealthily too. He had his own problems that he was just starting to take ownership and control of again; Ri didn’t want to stop him and keep him from them, he wanted to be supportive and even help Two fix them. He wasn’t always able to, though, and it bothered him. He was happy that he and Two seemed to be able to smooth it over – it helped reassure him that he and Two were close, loving, caring mates – but at the same time… they needed to work through this stuff and it was scary thinking about facing it all. He knew he wanted to be a healthy mate to Two at the other end of it; he sensed Two wanted the same, and he hoped that that would help them work through it for and with each other.
Being able to sit with Two was calming, at least, behind Omar where they weren’t being watched or judged. Ri was able to let everything settle down and Two was able to calm down and let his guard down again. It was good they were able to let go a little bit and remember why they were there.
Ri realized he hadn’t thought about how Red was doing at all; he’d gotten completely distracted by Omar then by his own problems and then with worrying about himself and Two. He felt guilty about it, but he needed to swallow it down this time to fix it. Blue seemed to perk up, realizing he was resurfacing, and Two seemed to notice too. Ri paid attention to what his mate was thinking, first; Two was wondering still a lot of the same sorts of things he was, but accompanied by his own doubts about who he was and what he cared for and coming to terms with having to let go of Ri a bit to take back himself. It ate at Ri’s mind; he was Two’s mate. He felt like a terrible mate; he knew he should’ve enabled Two but that wasn’t what he did at all. He just knew… he couldn’t fall apart on Two again because of it. He mustered himself and moved on, understanding that now he was trying to be better, comforted a bit because it seemed like he was. He turned his attention away as he saw Two resurface too; it was time for them to move on.
“Red’s been doing pretty well,” Blue mentioned as they shifted, and repositioned so that Ri was leaning against Two instead.
Thanks for paying attention for us, Ri said. He took a moment to sense Red; he seemed to be managing. He was navigating the third level of the maze; Ri wondered if he and Two had been dissociated that long or if Red had plowed through the maze that quickly. Whichever the case, he was happy he was getting through, and he hoped Red would appear soon so the awkward silence with Omar could end.
“There hasn’t been – much else to do,” Blue admitted. “You both… I’ve sensed and seen you with the Mewtwo on my world but I didn’t realize it was like this.”
We have problems, Ri said. He shuffled next to Two, made uncomfortable by the thought of how dysfunctional he and his mate were, but it was a fact he and Two could accept.
We’re trying to figure them out, Two drew out.
“I understand a little more why it’s so difficult for you to go out.” Ri wasn’t watching, but he could practically feel Blue’s eyes on him and Two. Unlike Two, Blue looking at them felt revealing and vulnerable. Ri trusted Blue wasn’t really upset with them, but it wasn’t like how it felt for Two to stare into him.
We don’t know how to change it, Ri said. We don’t want it to be like this.
“The people around you need to understand how it is for you too,” Blue said. “It wasn’t like Omar meant to hurt you, he didn’t understand that he was bothering you.”
That was hard for Ri to take. He couldn’t help feeling attacked, and it bothered him feeling so upset for something somebody else didn’t really mean in a bad way. It mattered to him, though; he didn’t want to let go of it at all.
We deserve to be respected, Ri said, in an awkward attempt to defend himself and Two.
“… I understand,” Blue said. He didn’t totally seem happy about it, but Ri was thankful he let it be. Blue was still learning about them, but while he was less broken than they were, he still understood their pain.
Red’s not going to be too happy with us, Two pointed out.
There’s… not much we can do about that, Ri said, resigning himself to however Red was going to react to them. He knew that his and Two’s tendency to self-destruct weighed on Red. He knew he and Two had managed to control themselves this time, but they were on the slope that led them there, and Red was observant enough to see when it was happening.
“You’ve put yourselves together a little at least,” Blue offered.
Still can’t deal with him, Ri said, talking about Omar. He glanced at Omar awkwardly, and saw him turned away even though Blue had started speaking in Lucario behind him.
“He seems to have figured it out,” Blue said, looking up at Omar following Ri’s line of sight.
He was excited to meet us, Ri realized out loud. He sighed to himself self-pityingly, returning his gaze down to the floor in front of him. I wonder what he thinks of us now.
“–Do I?”
No, Ri said. Let him tell us if he wants.
Blue backed off, letting it be. He was still learning how to respect his senses; Lucario could peek fairly intimately into a person’s mind if they looked, but Ri didn’t think it was respectful. Even with Omar Ri just let it be – at least as long as he sensed he and Two were safe sitting there and waiting for Red to appear.
He said you were strong, Two said. I don’t like how he said it, but… he did.
Ri shuddered, remembering. He glanced at his mate and found him looking back at him, but he didn’t hold it this time, though he didn’t mind Two looking at him or looking back at him. Not everything is an electricity analogy, he commented.
No, Two agreed.
“You guys appreciate sincerity,” Blue pointed out. “You expect others to treat things with respect.”
There’s a balance, Ri half-agreed. Some things don’t need to be serious.
But things that are serious deserve to be treated seriously, Two continued.
“I understand,” Blue agreed. His attitude changed suddenly and he looked across the battlefield to where it seemed Red would appear from. “I think –”
Ri sensed what Blue was sensing; it was Red, emerging from the darkness. Ri saw him on the far side of the gym, squinting in the intense light after spending so long in the dark. Ri realized it was starting to wear on him; he didn’t like everything being so intensely bright all the time, and the light warmed him through his dark fur and started to make him uncomfortable. He was happy to see Red, at least, but it reminded him of how poorly he and Two had dealt with Omar, and he hoped that Red wouldn’t be too upset about it. He felt guilty about it, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. He’d already made his best effort to repair the situation with Two.
“Ah, I see you’ve finally worked your way through the maze. You must have some spark in you to overcome it, but is it enough to overcome the resistance of my skill in battle? I’m excited to find out! Welcome, Red, to Vermilion Gym! I’m honored to host a pokemon gym-challenger.”
The use of the electricity analogy grated at Ri and Two; they were getting sick of it pretty quickly, especially with how Omar had used it with Ri earlier. Red looked unamused as well; Ri couldn’t imagine having to bear it if everyone in the gym was so adamant about electricity.
“Drop the electricity crap, I’m sick of hearing it from everyone I’ve battled. If you want to test my ‘voltage,’ be prepared for me to unleash my ‘current’ because I’m sick of these analogies.”
“–Alright,” Omar said. “I try to keep it light but I suppose not everyone appreciates it… I’ll battle you, Red, I expect a great battle from you!”
“I’m happy to oblige,” Red said, this time sounding more directly excited. He seemed pumped from his battles aside from the incessant electricity analogies; it was a good thing. And – Ri appreciated Omar dropping the pretense. He was aware that it looked rather poor for him and Two to be sitting in the back basically trying to hide from Omar but as he and Two and Blue stood up to watch, he hoped Red was distracted enough not to notice. They made their way to the side of the battlefield between Red and Omar, and stuck to the sidelines hoping they wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire of the battle.
“Misty let me know about your Illusion ability,” Omar taunted. “It won’t fool me like it did her!”
“You wouldn’t know until I’ve won,” Red deflected. “I’d hope I don’t need it, anyway.”
It was apparent Red was already starting to tire, though. When a trainer had a full team of pokemon, battling through the puzzles wasn’t too much of a problem. Red was alone, though, and had to manage all that before reaching the hardest, toughest battle at the end. Ri almost thought it was a little unfair, but Red wanted to prove himself.
“Show me, then! Electabuzz, let’s battle!” Omar brought out an Electabuzz, who appeared proudly in front of him. Ri guessed he’d been the one who wiped the last challenger’s team; Ri wondered if Omar had started with Electabuzz or if he was letting his other pokemon rest and hoped to wipe Red out quickly. In either case – Omar hoped to be done with the battle soon, Ri sensed.
“Alright, let’s battle! Electabuzz, Low Sweep!”
Ri wasn’t expecting the immediate fighting-type move, but he was sure Red could handle it. He’d trained with Ri and Two, after all.
“That’s not gonna –” Red started, but he got cut off as he was attacked. He managed to dodge the attack and retaliated with a quick Night Daze; against a non-fighting type, Red had the advantage. It threw Electabuzz back, giving Red a moment to collect himself. Once Electabuzz was up, before Omar could respond, Red charged with a Night Slash, responding with his own close-range attack.
“Block it with Thunder Punch!”
Electabuzz primed his arm, wheeling it a couple times to electrify it and punch and catch Red’s Night Slash. It deflected Red backward, but thankfully he seemed unharmed.
“Follow up again with Low Sweep!”
Omar was determined to hit with that move; Ri knew it could slow Red down if Electabuzz managed to hit. Red needed to rely on his speed; he needed to dodge those attacks. He managed to jump out of the way, and responded with Night Slash, making contact this time and throwing Electabuzz back once again.
“My, you’re quick! I wanted to slow you down but maybe that won’t be possible. Volt Switch, let’s go!”
Electabuzz rushed Red with a quick dash, managing to make contact before Red could dodge. He used the force of the impact to rush back to Omar, and suddenly he was switched out with a Jolteon.
“Jolteon, surprise him with Quick Attack!”
Jolteon sped forward, nearly vanishing in the speed of her attack. She hit Red straight in the chest, throwing him back.
“Thunder fang!”
Omar and Jolteon tried to catch Red before he could react, but luckily Red was able to use Night Slash again to divert Jolteon as she jumped at him to bite him before he got up. Ri noticed Omar was still trying to hinder Red, but Red was too fast; Omar couldn’t hit him to hinder him.
“You’re stronger than I expected, Ri and Two must have trained you well!”
Red had a lot of his own experience and skill, Ri thought, but it wasn’t worth it pointing it out. He knew it was better to let Red defend himself if he wished, anyway, and Red was preoccupied by the battle. He attacked with Night Daze to take advantage of the situation, catching Jolteon as she was still trying to get back up. He hit her square in the side, knocking her back down and out. Omar retrieved her, then considered his next move.
“If I can’t make you slower… I’ll just have to be faster than you! Raichu, it’s your time to shine!”
Omar threw out another ball, and this time a Raichu appeared. Ri sensed what his strategy was: he wanted to use Raichu’s speed to hinder Red so Electabuzz could handle him if he managed to win out over Raichu. That’s all Omar wanted to do – hinder Red. Ri nearly sighed out loud. It was like Omar was trying to deaden the challenger’s ‘spark’ as much as he could – given the way he’d made challengers navigate mazes in the dark Ri supposed it was his style. Ri was sure Red was too bright, but it felt somewhat ironic; Red was a dark type who thrived in the darkness, in being overpowered but coming out on top anyway. Ri didn’t really doubt Red would manage fairly easily – as long as Omar didn’t adapt.
He’s a young gym leader, Two commented directly upon Ri’s thoughts. He seems strong, but he must learn to adapt.
Yeah, Ri agreed. Maybe… develop some tact. He poked it carefully, meaning to make a bit of light of the situation they’d just managed.
That too, Two responded semi-humorously. It meant a lot, to be able to tease about that earlier exchange. Ri hoped it meant they were able to move past it.
In the moment they were distracted Red had managed to hit Raichu squarely again with a Night Daze. Even if Raichu were, generally, faster than Zoroark, there was no beating intense training and experience. With a command from his trainer, though, Raichu was able to recover before Red was able to finish him off. He managed a Discharge while Red was recovering, but luckily Red seemed unaffected by the move’s chance at paralyzing. He responded by dashing with a Night Slash and made contact again. The attack knocked Raichu out; it seemed quick, especially after how quickly Red dealt with Jolteon. Ri watched as Red glanced at Omar as he realized that Omar wasn’t prepared for Red at all. Red didn’t seem happy about it; Ri knew Red wanted a challenge from the gym leaders he faced. That way it made each badge feel like something he earned.
“Don’t you have a team trained up for stronger opponents?” Red called out. It was spunky, but Ri understood Red’s side of it; if a gym leader couldn’t give a trainer a thorough challenge, that weakened the worth of the badge that gym leader handed out.
“–No,” Omar said, visibly bothered both by the ease with which Red was beating him and with Red’s comments. “This is just the third gym –”
“Trainers come through how they like,” Red replied. “Vermilion’s the traditional third gym, but you need to be prepared for whatever may come through your door. Every challenger deserves a challenge from every gym they encounter.”
Ri watched Omar consider what was happening alongside his mate. He wasn’t totally sure it was polite of Red to bring this up like this mid-battle, but at the same time he understood Red felt it was disrespectful for a gym leader not to bring a proper challenge to a trainer. It seemed odd for Red to bring up, but then Ri remembered Red was Champion for years before he came to live with him and Two. It had been his job to make sure the League ran well – alongside with being on call if the region needed protecting. Ri guessed he learned a lot about how to run a gym in that time, even if he wasn’t directly himself ever a gym leader.
“I – concede this battle,” Omar said, with apparent difficulty. “I can at least see that you are a powerful opponent, and there is no reason I should bring out another pokemon when it is clear to me that you will crush them as easily as you have crushed the others. You shine brightly, Red, that is clear; I am satisfied with what you have shown me already.”
Red seemed disappointed, but he seemed to accept that Omar was doing what was best for his pokemon. Ri could respect it; it meant Omar thought more about them than others did. Even if gym leaders had a responsibility to challenge and test trainers, Ri thought their responsibility should always be toward their pokemon first. Battling over and over and over again was exhausting; it meant a lot to be able to save the pokemon a loss and give them some rest instead if possible. In response, Red stood down, and Ri was happy he didn’t keep beating down how he felt about Omar’s performance. He stood on his side of the field, looking up at Omar and waiting for whatever was going to happen. Omar started toward Red – Ri guessed the battle really was over. Unlike Ri and Two, Red didn’t shy away from Omar, and proudly stood to accept his badge.
“It seems I couldn’t give you the challenge you wanted, but at least accept this Volt Badge from me as you’ve shown that you shine brilliantly.”
The sincerity with which Omar stated it made up for the slight electricity allusion as Red accepted his badge.
“–Thank you,” Red managed to say as he accepted the badge in his paw. “For what it’s worth, I think you have potential as a gym leader, and you seem to be an honest trainer.”
“–I didn’t know the Challenger was the one who tested the gym leader,” Omar stated. It didn’t seem sarcastic to Ri; Omar just seemed discouraged after, as Ri regretfully thought Omar might put it, ‘his fuse was so thoroughly busted.’ “You must have learned much from Ri and Two as you lived with them within their gym. I hope too to reach such standards.”
Red sent a knowing glance in Ri and Two’s direction, but Ri nor Two were about to correct Omar. They were happy to let him think they were the reason Red was so particular about his gym battles.
“Whoever you visit next,” Omar continued, “may you show them the same fervor you have shown me.”
“I plan on it,” Red said. “Thank you for the battle.”
Red was… mature. It was a side of him Ri and Two didn’t see much. Or, rather, he ended up showing Ri and Two a different maturity, or else it was just surprising to see him show it to others and not be at the receiving end of it for once. They always appreciated his forgiveness and understanding, but it was easier to appreciate it positively when they could witness it from the outside.
“You are welcome,” Omar said. “Feel free to come again, once I am more experienced.”
“I may, one day,” Red said.
With that, he glanced at Ri and Two and Blue, and turned to leave. They sheepishly followed after him, leaving Omar behind to dwell on his defeat. Ri almost felt bad, but there wasn’t much he or Two could add without implicating themselves, and he didn’t really want to interact with him anyway after their earlier encounter. They went down the dimly-lit hall quietly, descending much faster than Red had ascended. It wasn’t long at all before they emerged back into the noise of Vermilion, still reeling from that encounter with Omar. Before they made their way, Red stopped just outside the door, stepping aside so he wasn’t in the way. Ri, Two, and Blue followed him, surrounding him so they stuck together without getting in the way also. Red asked for his gym badge book and Two easily teleported it to him, and he placed the Volt badge within it. It seemed to have changed from how Ri remembered it when Surge was still the gym leader; it was an electronic resistor in the shape of the letter omega with lightning bolt symbols for the omega’s serifs. It was a little geeky, Ri thought, but he didn’t feel he could judge given his and Two’s dumbbell design which they’d created to represent the bond they shared, the similarity of their powers, the raw power they represented, and also to misdirect trainers to think that all their badge meant was power when really they cared most about the relationship between people and pokemon. Ri was happy Two thought to make sure all the designs were accurate when they made the badge book for Red, at least; he realized it would’ve been awkward if the badge didn’t fit. Instead, Red placed the badge in it and closed it unceremoniously, and handed it back to Two, who teleported it straight back to Red’s desk where it would be safe. It was awkward, Ri felt – they should be celebrating a victory – but he understood given the circumstances that Red wasn’t in a big mood to be happy about it.
“I’m really hungry after all that battling, can we find somewhere nearby to eat before we start exploring?”
Sure, Ri said easily.
“Sounds good,” Blue offered.
Could use a bit of down time after that, Two admitted.
With that, Ri searched for a place they could eat. The first thing that came to his mind was a café – a place he could try the local coffee – but those places didn’t always have substantial food options like Ri knew Red wanted. Instead, he found a nearby Paldean sandwich shop, and suggested it to the group. Everyone seemed happy with it, so he led them toward it, weaving through the people, trying to pay attention to make sure he, his mate and his friends were safe, but also trying to make sure they made it to the place they were trying to go. Two ended up sticking close beside him to reassure him, but it was fine; Two could sense where he was going so he was able to keep up while they led the others together. It was scary, navigating the streets of a busy city, Ri realized. He guessed he was safe alongside Two but Vermilion didn’t feel anything like Pallet or Cerulean or even Veridian. He remembered Two had said that Vermilion should feel safe because Rocket were in control of it and Two had never attacked it because of that, but if anything, Ri kept worrying about Rocket hiding in the background, watching them and waiting for their moment to try and capture them. They were lucky it seemed like any illegal pokemon operations had stopped since Red managed to disband Rocket, but illegal stuff happened in the shadows; they could never be sure there weren’t people out there who might try to hurt them. It almost seemed strange to Ri to worry about being captured and hurt when he and Two were both so powerful, but at the same time he and Two suffered everything they had because people wanted to control powerful pokemon. Ri was thankful that they were safe under Cinnabar, and he was thankful that it seemed – so far – like he and Two were safe exploring their home region. As they came upon the shop they wanted to eat at, he tried to drive it from his mind to enjoy the day with his mate and friends.
It was a busy place; except for being bothered by the number of people, Ri was happy to see it seemed popular. He realized it was about prime time for people to be having lunch – he and Two usually tried to avoid the ‘prime’ times for things – but there wasn’t much they could do about being hungry at normal times when they woke up at normal times to meet other people at normal times. He hoped at least – for Red’s sake – that they wouldn’t have to wait long to be served. They entered, and waited to be seated. Even – for once – the waiter was too busy to notice that they weren’t accompanied by a human, and he brought them straight to a booth without asking where their trainer was. It was a relief as Ri sat down to eat, on the inside beside Two so he was out of reach and immediate sight of whoever went by. They were quickly given menus, and the waiter got caught up on the lack of humans in their group once they were all seated. It soured Ri’s mood a bit, but he was used to it; unlike being called an “it” he realized it was just something they had to accept even if they didn’t like it. It was… actually reasonable for a person to presume pokemon would be accompanied by a human, even if Ri wished it were common enough for pokemon to be alone so that it wouldn’t be reasonable.
“Don’t you think people would recognize who you are?” Blue asked, as the waiter walked off to deal with someone else.
Maybe, Ri offered. We never really leave our gym much, the only people who know who we are are trainers.
People know of “Ri and Two,” of course, but there isn’t much documentation of what I look like and, well… Two continued, but he petered out as he came up to something he knew might bother Ri.
It’s weird to see a purple and orange Lucario, Ri happily explained, but I don’t know if anybody knows that I am purple and orange.
“Do you –”
Blue was asking if they minded explaining – Ri supposed he didn’t.
We were more active before Cipher, Ri said. I wasn’t… like this. I wasn’t quick to show myself off after, either.
“But you still treat Vermilion and the other cities on this side of Kanto like you’ve never been here before,” Blue pointed out.
We stuck to Pallet and Veridian, Two explained. Even back then we weren’t keen on exploring further.
Ri watched as Blue tested what they were saying against what he knew.
“It still seems like they’d know who you are, Two,” he asserted.
… I don’t know, Two admitted, I… don’t really care to. I’d rather not be known. Ri noticed he was deflecting; he didn’t really want to talk about this stuff.
“Let off, Blue,” Red asserted. “Two wasn’t as well-known as you might think and that was over 20 years ago now, before the internet and stuff like that. I only knew him well because, well –”
Red glanced at Two, and Two awkwardly matched it for a moment before looking away.
“–You caught him?” Blue asked, astounded by this new information.
In a Master Ball, Two qualified. Ri thought Two’s qualification was cute; he understood Two cared that Blue knew Red hadn’t just captured him in a simple Poke Ball – that he’d had an advantage.
Red looked around before he spoke, then continued in Zoroark so the humans around them couldn’t understand him.
“I was one of Oak’s prodigies, he trusted me with a lot of things he shouldn’t have before I became Champion. I released him when he calmed down; I just wanted to stop him from rampaging after escaping Giovanni.”
Two was clearly embarrassed and shamed now; Ri felt terrible for him, but it was something that was well-known between the three of them and generally it didn’t really get between them.
“That’s beside the point,” Red continued, in human again, “people don’t necessarily know that –” he caught himself again, realizing what he was revealing and switched again back to Zoroark – “Two is the same as the Mewtwo who did all that stuff back then.”
“But the man in –”
Some people do remember, Two emphasized, getting worked up. It’s not like I was trying to hide myself.
Two… Ri called; he didn’t like his mate getting worked up like this and he wanted to help him calm down. It helped a bit; Two seemed to recognize.
Please, we need to let this go, Two asserted. I’m not that pokemon anymore, I don’t mind people not associating me with that. I’d rather be mistaken for a foreign pokemon than be feared for being the one who was created to terrorize this region.
He turned spiteful as he finished, but he seemed to recognize and he tried to let it go. It wasn’t toward Blue or Red, Ri knew; it was toward Giovanni and the team of people who made him, of course. Red and Blue seemed to understand too, so they let go of it easily, and let Two calm down. The short conversation was revealing; Two still had pent up feelings about how Red had captured him. Ri supposed everything turned out relatively OK since Red had only ever treated them as people since they mated, but it didn’t change that, for a short period of time, Red practically owned Two. Ri remembered Two mentioning he respected Red for how he treated him when he captured him; Ri knew that respect was something one could give separate from other emotions. Two could respect something and… still hate it or its circumstances. Two didn’t want to have been owned by Red… but he appreciated that Red had been so respectful of him for the short time he did own him. Ri supposed it smoothed over later – when they mated – enabling him to be Red’s friend now, but that only worked because they didn’t address what happened in Two’s past. It had nearly come up just then, and Ri clearly saw that there was a history there which even he wasn’t totally aware of. It was before he mated Two… neither of them really cared much for whatever happened before they mated. But… clearly Two cared about what happened with Red. Ri guessed it was up to Two to let him in and explain things; he didn’t want to push it at the moment since Two was already pretty aggravated over it. He was happy just to wait – he trusted Two would approach it when he was ready.
Aside from that, though, their conversation wasn’t over. The waiter came, interrupted them resting and decompressing, asking for their orders. He’d taken them totally off-guard because they got distracted immediately, and they needed to shoo him away to take some more time to look at the menu. Ri took a look when he had a chance, realizing he was fascinated in all the different kinds of sandwiches the place made. They made sandwiches at home, but they were mostly a low-effort lunch meal they made themselves without too much care to sustain them between breakfast and dinner which they liked to share as a group. Ri saw he could expect the sandwiches they got here to be carefully built, and a lot of them were themed so he was interested in what there was. Unfortunately, the list of pokemon-friendly sandwiches was much shorter than the list of human ones, but happily some of them were still appealing. Ri chose one that paired traditional Kanto veggies with some of the tarter berries he liked, and anticipated sharing whatever Two chose, too, while Red and Blue made their own decisions. Once the waiter came back, they ordered, and sat, waiting, excited to try out this new thing. Since Two calmed down quite a bit, it ended up leading to discussion again.
“So – do you guys want to tell me what happened back there?” Red asked, suddenly, out of the blue. Ri was taken aback by it; he hadn’t noticed Red noticing them, and it brought everything back full force. Red sounded rather serious about it, too; Ri sensed Red had wanted to mention it after the gym battle but things had gotten a little sidetracked when Blue mentioned the past and got Two worked up. Ri wondered if Two was OK, but he seemed to handle it. Red bringing it up so seriously didn’t make him feel great, though; Two ended up being the one who looked over at him to make sure he was OK.
Just normal… us stuff, Ri said, betraying a sense of shame in his voice. He called you an it, I couldn’t handle it. He waited for Red to process how he felt sheepishly, anticipating.
“You guys seemed to work through it,” Red commented objectively.
With some difficulty, Two admitted awkwardly.
Omar’s electricity puns bothered us too, Ri continued.
“Just –” Red interjected, his mind somewhere else. He continued in Zoroark again: “I understand how it is for you. I remember how it’s been in the past. And I know you guys are getting better. But…”
Red couldn’t even put into words what he was trying to say, but Ri and Two understood anyway. They knew that their behavior bothered him. They knew what they were doing. They knew Red had mixed feelings about them. Ri and Two knew they could be unfair to Red, and Ri knew that wrongly imploding on a gym leader was unfair to Two and his friends. He knew Red expected them to be able to govern themselves; they could usually manage themselves but they could still be pushed outside their ability to control themselves relatively easily. It was something they knew they needed to work on – just like everything else – and they knew Red saw and was particularly sensitive to how they treated others because of their problems.
“I… appreciate you guys trying,” Red finally said with difficulty, “It’s great to be able to go out and see Kanto again.”
Red being able to tie it up together like that was a huge relief for Ri and Two; it was greatly rewarding to them to be recognized for it. It was encouraging to hear, because it was painful and difficult for both of them to pull themselves up to be able to handle stuff.
We understand, Ri said. And… we know we’re not great at handling things now. We want to try to keep it together for each other – and you, but… it isn’t always easy.”
“I understand,” Red said, rather detached compared to how he’d just been. With that – he made it clear that the conversation was over and that everything was OK. It shocked Ri, but this was the ‘normal’ Red; it was weirder for Red to be as open as he had been just before. Ri just guessed he witnessed them pulling themselves together, and wanted to recognize their effort to grow and take ownership of themselves. Ri was thankful for it; it meant a lot from him. With that, though, the conversation went cold, leaving Ri and Two to reflect on it. Red had voiced his disapproval of how Ri and Two were so helpless at social stuff – at least he tried to – but it was a strange comfort for Ri; even if Red thought they were sorry excuses for it he felt able to come up to them and tell them. That meant a lot; it meant Red trusted them and believed they wouldn’t snap at him for it even though he was critical of them. They trusted Red was their friend, but it meant a lot for him to show it like that. It helped them feel oddly closer to him, but Ri tried not to let it get to his head; Red’s return to relative distance reminded him that he didn’t get to depend so closely on Red like he had on Two for a long time.
I don’t know where we should end up, Two commented, referencing Ri’s thoughts about how dependent he and Two had become on each other. I want you to be a part of every aspect of my life – I don’t know if that’s wrong to want of a mate.
I don’t know either, Ri said back, I do too. But… I don’t know how it can be OK for us to not be always involved in each others’ lives if we want to be.
… I believe we’ll figure it out, Two said. Ri saw he was getting nervous about it; he guessed it wasn’t something Two was ready to approach yet. He didn’t blame his mate; he wasn’t ready to approach it either. He wanted to love Two; he guessed he remembered what that had meant before Cipher but he could barely imagine letting go of Two anymore even to pursue things he liked that Two didn’t. He guessed what mattered was that he knew it was wrong to force Two to follow him on things he liked that Two didn’t, but at the same time… he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Two asserted he wanted to go somewhere and Ri didn’t want to go with him. He shuddered; he didn’t really want to think about it and he was happy enough that he and Two both were able to enjoy a wide range of stuff together, even if they each had their own preferences. Ri sensed Two noticed; he felt a paw on his lap to reassure him without being too overt about it. Sensing Two was OK with it, he nudged a bit closer to his mate, happy and thankful for the reassurance. They were mates; Ri understand that did mean they could rely on each other in ways that they couldn’t rely on friends like Red and Blue, and Ri didn’t feel guilty drawing from Two when Two readily made himself available without apparently overextending himself to do so. That was the difference, Ri guessed; he and Two needed to be able to manage themselves to keep themselves from overextending their mate, but within that it was fine to draw support from each other and to want each other involved in their lives. Ri looked back on his life since Cipher for a moment… it felt to him like he hadn’t done that very well. It made him nearly draw away from Two in guilt, but… he trusted he could be close to Two without doing that to him.
Ri, Two warned, letting him know he was doing it again. The guilt surged stronger, but he ashamedly let it be. He had to let Two help him; he had to let it be OK because he knew Two was willing to help him. He had to trust that Two would let him know when he was going too far. Two just had; it helped him feel comfortable in his mate’s care.
Sorry, Ri said, weakly and meekly.
It’s…
Two petered out again. Like he’d said the last time… it wasn’t OK, but Ri knew Two understood and appreciated him managing to get himself under control again.
I want to cuddle, Ri said, more directly asserting his need for emotional support.
… We can’t, Two said, softly and regretfully.
… I know, Ri replied painfully.
I want to cuddle too, Two said. I’m always up for it, you know that.
That admission helped Ri; it wasn’t a problem to Two to cuddle, he just knew that Two didn’t like doing it in public like this. That was a barrier, Ri knew; he felt reassured pressing up against it and being able to back down from it, even if he missed being in Two’s arms. To try to make up for it a little, Two petted his thigh under the table while they waited for their food, reminding him of his physical presence and willingness to be intimate without showing it to everyone around them.
“So – what are we going to do after lunch?” Blue asked, interjecting even though he could sense Ri and Two talking and Red could see and guess. Ri was thankful for the distraction; he needed to get his mind off things he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about.
There’s the markets, he suggested. He felt further reassured by Two’s continued petting; he realized he’d been really out of it for a moment to question Two being as forgiving of him as he was. He glanced at his mate; Two caught it and made eye contact with him, recognizing the situation and showing him everything was OK. Ri was grateful; he realized he’d really nearly just imploded on Two. It was scary; he didn’t catch it except for Two nearly yelling at him. He sighed; he knew he needed to interrupt the spiral and just… trust Two despite his feelings about it. As long as Two could knock him out of places he shouldn’t be before he broke down because of them, he could let himself rely on him and take on the responsibility of pulling himself out of them when Two alerted him he’s going there.
“Sounds fun,” Blue offered. “That was where you said we could expect to find stuff from all over, right?”
Yeah, Two confirmed.
“It’s going to be interesting to see what kinds of stuff they sell now,” Red wondered out loud.
“What did they sell when you were younger?” Blue asked.
Ri watched as Red tried to remember.
“Trinkets… food, clothes… I don’t really remember,” he admitted. “I didn’t pay too much attention to that stuff as a kid.”
“Mostly gym battles and training?” Blue guessed, teasing at Red.
“–I guess a Lucario would guess pretty easily,” Red said, sounding a bit bothered.
“I –”
“It’s fine, I’m just not used to Ri bringing that stuff up,” Red said with a slight gruffness.
“You don’t –” Blue turned to Ri and Two in confusion.
We don’t usually like to think about Red being a human before he was a Zoroark, Ri explained. We only really care about who he’s been since he was a Zoroark.
“… you do that a lot with different things,” Blue observed.
There’s a lot in the past which… we’d rather leave in the past, Two defended.
“I can understand,” conceded Blue. “I’m learning I don’t really know much about any of you since before…”
From being around Two and Red, Blue knew to avoid the topic of Cipher directly, but Ri picked up on it anyway and understood.
“Is that all there is?” Red asked, changing the subject. “I’m sure it’ll be interesting to see the markets, but I don’t think that’s going to keep us until we want to go home.”
It was barely past noon; Ri sighed when he realized how early it still was. He preferred being out at night, but the gym leaders they visited didn’t really give them that option.
We’ll want to find a restaurant when it’s dinner time, Two offered.
“I guess, yeah,” Red said. “Any ideas for it?”
Not yet, Ri answered. He didn’t really want to think about it since they were expecting their lunch to arrive any moment. I guess we’ll figure it out later.
They discussed what they could do for a short while while they waited for their food. The only thing that seemed interesting to anybody was going to see the docks, but Ri really didn’t want to get anywhere near the big boats and clammed up when Blue mentioned it even passingly. The other thing they’d found was the war museum but nobody was really interested in that, so they were still at a loss for what to do in the city. Before they could get to talking much more than that, their food arrived so they distracted themselves enjoying lunch and talking about lighter things. Two let go of Ri but Ri was feeling better; it felt weird recovering from a moment where he was so close to disintegrating but he was thankful he managed to avoid it and he tried to ground himself in the things he knew. He was enjoying eating lunch with his mate; it was a lot of fun and he knew he had to remember that being Two’s mate wasn’t always just struggling and hurting Two in the process. He and Two managed to have a lot of fun – especially since Ri managed to start pulling himself together. He realized he needed to remember that, that he couldn’t let himself get caught up in the bad stuff.
At least – he was able to let go of Two and handle himself again, which was a relief. He split his sandwich in half to share it with Two, and Two gave him half of his sandwich too. He started with his, though, excited to try out how the berries he liked tasted against lettuce, onions, other veggies. It was something he’d never thought of trying before; it surprised him a bit but he knew he didn’t really think berries ‘belonged’ on a sandwich so it made sense he wouldn’t think of doing it. He was happy to try it, though, especially since he knew Two was willing to share too and that Two had happened to get something he knew he’d like. It meant a lot to him to get to share with Two; he thought it was cute they liked sharing.
Red talked a bit about what it was like in the gym since Ri and Two were distracted enough to not sense him, describing what it was like navigating the mazes and battling in the dark. Red didn’t have much of a problem with it; if anything, it gave him an advantage since he was comfortable in it and since his fur was so dark. They discussed how Omar and his associates liked electricity analogies so much, and Red admitted it was grating on him too, so he understood how Ri and Two were bothered by it. It didn’t seem so serious looking back on it; Ri was happy he was able to look back on it and, at least if he wasn’t laughing, find it vaguely humorous. They discussed a bit about Omar, his team of pokemon and his apparent lack of experience as a gym leader. Ri and Two knew he was a relatively new gym leader – Lt. Surge had retired relatively recently – but they didn’t care to keep up with who was leading all the gyms around Kanto. They supposed the gyms had to pass on to a new generation at some point, but Ri and Two had assumed that the people who took them up would be a bit more prepared. Red expressed dissatisfaction with the battle, but he was still thankful for the badge and was still excited for the coming challenges.
Once they finished lunch and paid, they made their way together to the markets. As Ri navigated and led his mate and friends, his excitement mounted; this was the thing they were all looking forward to doing, and he wondered what sorts of things they’d see. At the same time, he wondered about the number of people he and Two were going to come across. He remembered how comfortable he and Two felt in Pallet and Veridian, but those were places they’d visited hundreds of times and they were sure by now that the people were used to their presence and generally knew who Two was without being belligerent toward him. The places they liked – they could expect to be treated like humans, like it wasn’t a big deal for them to show up. It meant a lot to them, and they felt pretty safe in the places they visited often. But Vermilion was bigger, further away, busier, and they weren’t as known. And the markets were going to be a lot more open than the places Ri and Two liked to visit. Ri couldn’t help being nervous, even if they were as strong as they were. Again, to help, Two kept close by him, and he was sure they wouldn’t leave each other’s side while visiting the markets. Ri sighed; he was with his mate, Two wouldn’t let anything happen to them.
As they came up to the markets, walking up the streets of Vermilion, Ri saw that the backdrop to the markets were the massive docks that connected Kanto to the rest of the world via overseas trading. They were immediately impressive, but Ri felt sick the moment they came in view. Boats – big ones – lined the coast, dropping off cargo or picking stuff up to take to other regions. Most of them were cargo boats – not like the one Ri had been captured on – but he couldn’t help recoiling at the sight of them, imagining all the ways he could somehow be captured and imprisoned on one of those boats and taken away from Two again.
I won’t let anyone take you, Two said. I’m here this time – I’ll –
Two caught himself, but Ri knew he was trying to say he’d kill anyone who tried hurting Ri again. He found comfort in it anyway; Two was with him, so it didn’t seem nearly as possible for Ri to find himself trapped and powerless.
I guess we’re not getting too close anyway, Ri managed to say with some braveness, looking out over the city. The markets were below them, toward the sea but still quite removed from the docks. He supposed anything that came through needed to be cleared and checked before it officially crossed into the Kanto border; he even guessed he saw the facilities where all that happened. The markets were in a much more active part of the city surrounded on all sides by blocks of shops, hotels – normal commercial stuff. He found rest in knowing he and Two were going to be removed from the places where stuff was easily going on and off boats.
It seems like it, Two agreed. I won’t be too comfortable either until we’re away from the docks, he admitted. Seeing Two be apprehensive about it lent Ri clarity; he realized he didn’t want to let it get in the way of him and Two enjoying themselves.
We should… try to enjoy the markets, at least, he offered in an attempt to remind Two, too.
… You’re right, Two said, sighing.
“You guys are being pretty unsure about this,” Red called out. “Usually you aren’t so nervous.”
The boats, the people, the last time when we got yelled at, the way we’re feeling right now… we’re not really prepared for this, Ri admitted.
We don’t know this city, Two said. We learned to be comfortable in Pallet and Veridian but we don’t know what could be hiding in the shadows here.
“We can try to stick together,” Blue offered. “That should help us feel safer.”
We appreciate it, Ri said, feeling a little more confident with Red and Blue around, too.
“The docks are more impressive than I remember them being,” Red commented. “They must’ve expanded upon them since I was here.”
Makes sense, Two said, practically dismissing Red but with some tact. Let’s just… get to the markets, though, he pressed. Ri was getting anxious from thinking about the docks; he was thankful Two was trying to push the conversation along, and he was ready to get to the markets and try and distract himself shopping.
They continued on, and as they descended into the commercial center of the city, even though the thought of being near the docks hung in Ri’s mind, it was less present and obvious. His senses were at full alert, but that meant he sensed everyone within a couple miles’ radius of them, and from what he sensed nobody directly meant them harm. It was a relief; he didn’t intend to let his guard down soon but it was comforting knowing they were getting away with visiting Vermilion.
“I can watch too,” Blue offered. “I’m… not as good as you are, though,” he conceded.
Thanks, Ri commented. He didn’t feel great about it, though; he didn’t mind as much if he ruined his own fun trying to keep himself and Two safe but he didn’t want Blue to get caught up in it. … Try to have fun, he asserted.
You should say the same to yourself, Two said softly. And – me, he admitted.
I’ll try, Ri said weakly.
I will too, Two agreed.
This is what we wanted, Ri emphasized, sighing to assert it to himself and make himself calm down a bit. To have fun exploring Vermilion.
We knew it was going to be tough too, Two mentioned.
Yeah, Ri said.
Ri and Two kept careful watch while they approached the markets, but as they kept sensing nobody with ill-intent toward them and as they started to be able to see what was going on, they got somewhat distracted. The markets were filled with people and pokemon together, which made Ri hope that they could get by exploring without any problems. They were open, but there was a building, too, where Ri guessed people could find respite where it was warm or else where people who sold perishable stuff stayed. Ri started to get excited even aside from all the people; it awoke some old, deeply buried memory of why he enjoyed this world. Humanity’s interconnectivity had fascinated him; the few islands on his old all-pokemon world were interconnected but not nearly to the extent humans were. From what Ri read, he expected to see all sorts of things from all sorts of different places, and the sheer volume of stuff humans made astounded him. It had been fascinating, Ri remembered, before the humans applied their ingenuity to capture him and abuse him and experiment on him. He shuddered at the dual edge of humanity; a lot of the stuff he saw in front of him was ‘good,’ he recognized – innocent – but the same resourcefulness humanity applied to create all these wonderful things could be applied to hurt pokemon and other people, too. It was something he understood back then – but not nearly to the extent he did now. He was, at least, thankful to have somehow reached a point where he could recognize that there was good about humanity again, but it nearly fell apart on him as he still realized how little he wanted to deal with actual people. There were a lot of them around the markets, shopping, having fun, doing chores or meeting with friends. He tried to remind himself most people just wanted to live their lives; it helped a little but he still couldn’t get the thought of people who wanted to hurt him and Two out of his head. He tried to cast it aside; he didn’t sense any around yet, and he wanted a chance to enjoy himself with Two. If they could get through this visit without much of an incident – Ri was hoping to have fun.
They made sure to stick together as they entered, getting a feel for the place and scouting it out before they decided to feel safe. They didn’t pay much attention at first to what was around but more how it was arranged and how the people tended to move around. Ri’s senses helped; he could nearly visualize how everyone was set up around the place and how people were moving. It was chaotic but there was order too; people went from stall to stall, viewing merchandise and keeping out of each others’ way, while pokemon ran around, played with things they probably weren’t supposed to, but made sure to leave things behind unless they intended to try to get their trainer or partner to buy something. It was reassuring; people put up with pokemon’s shenanigans and pokemon respected people’s property. That wasn’t always the case, Ri knew – he wasn’t naive anymore – but for the majority, that’s how it was. It seemed like a pretty safe, low-stress place to Ri; he usually did best in areas where people were preoccupied, and shops were usually good places to be. Of course, it didn’t stop him from sensing people who were upset, or angry, but at least he could tell with relative ease that it wasn’t directed toward himself or someone he cared about.
Once they made one pass of the place, they settled down and paused for a moment to collect themselves. The place seemed safe, and they’d already made their presence quite known by going around the whole area. Ri, Two, and Blue had all sensed around and none of them sensed anything that felt dangerous, so Ri hoped it was a safe place. On top of it… Ri felt he almost just wanted to let go of being cautious and just have fun. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same time the shops they saw had all sorts of interesting things and he kind of wanted to see it all with Two. He looked to his mate conflicted, unsure how to go about resolving it.
I haven’t sensed anything either, Two commented, even though Ri already knew it. I’m – he continued carefully – willing to believe that if we haven’t already sensed anyone who means to cause us harm, there won’t be anybody.
Ri tested the weight of what Two was saying in his mind. He saw that Two was pretty desperate to have fun to go out on a limb like that; warning signs popped in Ri’s mind, though, telling him that Two wasn’t being totally logical. He wanted to let go of it too, though; he didn’t blame his mate for feeling the same way.
It’s a risk, Ri pointed out.
… I know, Two said, somberly. In response, Ri sighed; he didn’t want to ruin his and Two’s chance at having fun.
I didn’t think it was going to be this hard, Ri admitted, we got used to how it feels where we’re comfortable.
I didn’t either, Two agreed. I haven’t sensed anybody like Team Rocket or other independent traffickers, I feel they would be scheming now already.
Yeah, Ri agreed. We should be able to deal with common thieves and stuff like that, he guessed. It felt reasonable; the moment Two glared or Ri pulled out an Aura Sphere it seemed like anybody who wanted to try to take advantage of them for being pokemon would quickly think twice. Besides that, the only people who could threaten Ri were the ones who felt confident enough to overpower him despite his abilities and the only ones who would attempt to overpower Two were traffickers funded by organizations like Team Rocket who had tons of money to fund the development of technology which could possibly restrain Two for a while.
If Team Rocket still exists, they aren’t here, Two asserted.
If there’s anyone else…
… I suppose we can’t let our guard completely down, Two said. He sounded disappointed, and Ri heard how it made him ‘harden’ up. Ri felt bad; he knew Two didn’t want to do that anymore. His ears drooped in empathy; it brought Two to put his paws to Ri’s maw and pull him to make eye contact.
We can’t let ourselves drop our guards completely, but we can still try to have fun, Two said.
… Yeah, Ri agreed, trying to pull himself out of his discouraged state.
I believe we’ll figure it out sometime, Two continued, It doesn’t – have to be now, he qualified. It was a bit reassuring; it helped reset things in Ri’s mind.
I guess this is a start, Ri said.
I guess so, Two agreed. In turn, Ri sighed.
I guess we don’t have to be good at it then, he decided.
… I want to trust that we will be safe doing whatever we want, but there’s a chance we just don’t get to be, Two said. Stuff like this… we can figure it out.
I guess so, Ri agreed. I guess we’ll see how it goes.
I guess so, Two said.
I just – wanted not to have to worry about it.
I know, Two said. Ri sensed Two wanted to draw him close, but regrettably he held himself back, and let go of him instead, looking to him apologetically.
I’m sorry, he said.
I know, Ri comforted. I understand.
It was honestly rather reassuring for Ri; he didn’t fall apart on Two and he hadn’t made Two do anything he was uncomfortable with to keep him together, either.
Let’s try to have fun, Two offered.
Yeah, Ri agreed, regaining some of the enthusiasm he’d lost. It wasn’t like the care-free day out he’d wanted to share with Two, but he supposed if he wanted that they should’ve visited Veridian Forest. They didn’t get to have care-free days when visiting human places… it was becoming draining on them as they realized that one day they’d have to interface with humanity again to make a proper living for themselves. That was still too far away to think about; Ri just wanted to get through the day without being miserable. He sighed once again, resigning himself to the half-cautious state he was going to have to be in to make sure that he and Two didn’t get themselves in trouble. The shops were around them, at least, and it was encouraging to Ri thinking that he was going to get to see all the cool stuff the humans made and sold. As long as they were able to keep themselves safe, Ri weakly held out hope he and Two would have fun. They sighed, preparing themselves, then turned to immerse themselves in the store around them. They started where they were, looking around where they stood for something that interested them. There were several stalls around them selling various kinds of kitchen and household utensils, gadgets, and products. It wasn’t immediately useful or interesting to Ri and Two, but they looked around anyway, coming across a couple supplies they happened to be low on and finding a particular vendor selling coffee equipment from Kalos. It interested Ri to see, but he liked what he had at home already, and didn’t feel particularly inspired to experiment with any of it so they left it behind. They moved on to a different area, which seemed to be themed after electronic gadgets. Two in particular was interested in this section; he admired all the electronic things humans made and wondered at how they were built. There were things like miniature mp3 players, electronic toys, even some game consoles from foreign regions. Ri was happy to see Two take an interest in it; it stimulated him and showed that he was willing to put his guard down at least a little bit to let others see he liked certain things. He started talking about how the circuits were designed which went over Red and Blue’s and eventually even Ri’s heads but Ri liked listening to Two be excited about it; it was special and he was happy Two was able to do it.
Next, they visited a section where people were selling books, but they realized fairly quickly that they were in all sorts of different languages they didn’t know. It was cool seeing so many books, but it didn’t really mean anything if they couldn’t read them. The section interested Blue, however; he was unaware there were different human languages so when he picked up the first book he was alarmed to see that he didn’t recognize any of the words in it at all even though he had considerable experience reading. Once Ri and Two explained it he marveled at all the different languages and how they looked as he realized that humans could learn several of these languages and speak them fluently.
After that, they decided to check out the building and see what was inside. It turned out to be all sorts of food, from sweets from different countries to human foods to pokemon foods like poffins from Sinnoh to Poke Puffs from Kalos to Curry mixes from Galar. This was interesting to everyone, and it was the first place Ri and the others made any sort of purchase for fun, fascinated by foreign foods. They decided to try a couple Galarian curries and were interested in the puffs from Kalos, and there was a Johto tea Ri found interesting, while Two sheepishly convinced Ri to buy several different kinds of jams for him to try when they made something like waffles together. Unashamedly, they bought themselves some treats on the go, too, poke blocks from a street vendor, which they were interested in but not so interested they wanted to bring them home.
They exited the building a different way than they came in, and came immediately across an area full of different arts and crafts items. This was interesting to everyone too; it was easy to appreciate the care humans put into making things that existed only to be cool, cute, or pretty. They were careful with their pokeblocks, but they took a look at everything, fascinated to see all the sorts of things humans made. A lot of them were pokemon-themed, which made sense to Ri, from all sorts of different regions. A lot of them were popular or legendary pokemon from the different regions they came from. Cross-stitchings of the various legendary beasts from Johto, or stylized paintings of the Unova dragons, or different things with Pikachu, Eevee, or all sorts of other common, popular pokemon from different regions. It was all cool to see – it showed people appreciated pokemon some way, at least – and it was novel seeing all the different pokemon around them in… novelty form. It was almost overwhelming to Ri to see, and he nearly started overlooking a lot of it and blindly moving on but he happened to see one particular vendor selling knitted plushies of Lucario. He called to his mate and rushed over to them, alarming Two for a moment before realizing Ri was just being cute. He picked up one of the plushies and inspected it; it fit in his paw but it was the only representation of his species he’d seen among all the Eevee and Pikachu and Greninja. Ri thought it was adorable; he looked to his mate pleading to get it and Two readily ‘let’ him, remembering the Mew figurine Ri had let him get at Pewter and suggesting it was a souvenir of the stuff they’d recently managed together. He realized that Two didn’t have any representation at all and started to feel bad for it; but Two reassured him it was OK and Ri remembered that Two preferred not to be known anyway. Aside from some annoying, demeaning comments from the vendor, Ri powered through and didn’t let it ruin his enjoyment of the little Lucario aside from vaguely regretting showing his appreciation of it so openly. It had caught him off-guard; he hadn’t expected to ‘fall’ for it so much but he… did. It was, at least, something he could share with Two to remember the day, and that meant a lot to him besides adoring the small Lucario. It symbolized the affection Ri and Two had for each other now; that made it mean a lot to Ri a bit like how the Mew figurine they’d gotten meant a lot to Two. It still sat on their desk between them at home; Two teleported the Lucario plush right beside it vaguely teasing Ri by putting it on his side of the desk but still making sure it was safe. Ri wanted to hug him but he knew Two was uncomfortable with it; he saw how it bothered Two that he couldn’t hug his mate as he liked. Ri understood – it was a matter of security for Two – but he still missed being close and he tried not to make Two feel bad about it. The only thing that was making Two feel bad about it was Two’s own desire to be close to Ri. It was something they had to figure out, Ri knew… part of the reason Two was having such difficulty facing all the stuff he felt like he had to.
You’re adorable, Two teased at one point, when they came across all the crafts. Ri was happy Two was having fun too – especially checking out the gadgets he was interested in – and he smiled at his mate, happy to share all this with him. Two’s restrained smile reminded him though that Two couldn’t emote so openly as he could; it dampened his spirits a bit and reminded him how difficult everything was on him and his mate, but Two reassured him and managed to get him to let go again. Ri was happy at least that Two was able to enjoy himself, and that they got to share in it together after the relatively difficult morning they’d had. It gave them a taste of what it would be like once they figured out all the stuff they were trying to face, and it was encouraging to think that – one day, if they worked hard to grow – they could do stuff like this without worrying about being happy or being taken and hurt or coming across people who hated them. It turned out to feel like a fitting celebration of Two facing the lab and everything he’d repressed because of it for longer than 20 years; it was gratifying to them both to manage the outing almost-kind-of well.
I’m happy, Ri replied. At least – he looked around quickly with his senses, to make sure they were still safe – I’m not too worried at the moment.
It’s nice to see, Two admitted.
You too, Ri reflected. It flustered Two a bit, but he hid it fairly well. Ri was just happy to be enjoying himself and his mate; it was welcome and much-needed.
Should we move on? Two asked.
I guess, Ri answered. Is there much left to see?
“There were clothes somewhere, I think,” Red mentioned. “I was – interested in looking at them,” he admitted meekly.
–OK, Ri agreed, do you remember where they were?
He was starting to burn out, but he guessed looking at clothes was interesting. He didn’t really understand why humans wore clothes – Red had told them humans were shy about their naked bodies and that their skin was rather fragile and sensitive compared to a pokemon’s fur – but Ri still didn’t really get it. It was fascinating seeing all the different kinds of things humans put together to wear, though, and he guessed that wearing clothes was a way for humans to express themselves, which he supposed he could understand though he had no motivation himself to put anything on his body to ‘express himself.’ He didn’t want anything covering his fur; the idea of it sounded rather uncomfortable and stifling to him.
“Yeah, I think so,” Red replied. He led them off to the last section of the markets that had any apparent interest to them. Ri saw that there were racks upon racks upon racks of clothes of different styles from different regions; it was almost overwhelming to see even though he didn’t plan on buying anything at all. Red seemed interested, though, and he started roaming by himself looking for things. It alarmed Ri and Two both – they didn’t really want anyone going off on their own – but Ri supposed they could let him go off and just keep an eye on him from a distance. It was scary, but they sensed around once again and still didn’t find anyone who wanted to hurt them or take them. The threat still occupied their minds but at a certain point it started to seem silly to worry about it if they kept not seeing people who would take advantage of them. Ri sighed, letting Red do what it was he wanted, and set about looking through stuff with Two to see what it was humans liked to wear. It wasn’t obvious from the clothes themselves but Ri sensed that many women were looking at the clothes in this particular area, so he guessed it was a women’s section, which didn’t really interest him or Two or Blue, either. They looked around for a men’s section, and decided to look through the stuff there. There were jeans from Unova, pants from various different regions, even a small selection of kilts from Galar, along with shirts of different styles from all sorts of different regions, ranging from graphic tees of pokemon or regional sports or League popular figures to colorful, light, baggy summer shirts that seemed perfect for a tropical vacation to dress shirts which looked especially stifling, even for humans, especially paired with the suits Ri knew humans tended to wear them with. It was interesting, Ri supposed, but he didn’t really care for much of it at all.
Aside from all that, there were vendors selling jewelry, watches, or various decorative pieces of cloth for various purposes. A lot of it was unisex, Ri supposed, so he and Two decided to take an interest in it. They found Red looking through various things in this section too, so they decided to join him since they’d run out of things they were interested in otherwise. They looked at some of the earrings – ones it seemed that males would be interested in – and Ri embarrassingly remembered at one point being vaguely interested in getting his ear pierced to fit an earring when he was much younger. He was happy he didn’t do it, but he didn’t escape the piercing – the poacher who’d captured him had tagged him before he sold him off to Cipher. He didn’t want to put anything through it, though; he didn’t want to ‘take ownership’ of that specific part of his torture. He looked through the earrings anyway, then through the bracelets and necklaces too with Two. He had to admit to himself: of all the things humans wore, the jewelry interested him most. Shiny bits of metal or colorful bits of fabric – none of it served any functional purpose like the majority of clothes people wore, they just wore it because they liked shiny things. Of anything humans did to put stuff on their body, Ri could relate to that. He didn’t have any interest in it anymore, though, and was happy just to look and see what sorts of things humans liked to wear. At least – until Red showed up and interrupted their idle browsing.
“Hey – can you come with me?” he asked, rather sheepishly for Red. Ri and Two and Blue weren’t about to judge, though, and they easily followed him to a vendor selling different kinds of bandannas. As they came upon an array of headwear, Ri wondered what it was Red wanted from them, though. It became clear as Red stopped in front of a display of bandannas, picked one up, folded it up into a triangle, and held it across his neck and presented himself to Ri, Two, and Blue.
“… I used to wear clothes,” Red started awkwardly in Zoroark, “but I stopped when I became a Zoroark. I’m used to not wearing anything, but… I want to wear something again, too,” he admitted, gaining traction. “I used to like my caps, even when I was older. I don’t think I can wear them anymore, but perhaps I could at least wear something like this,” he offered. It was a surprise to Ri to hear; he was honestly happy that he had managed not to sense it. He supposed – he was preoccupied by keeping himself, his mate and his friends safe over what they were thinking any moment. But he turned his mind back to what Red was saying: Red wanted to wear clothes again. Ri knew that Red had some difficulty when he transformed – he and Two had helped him with it – but he guessed that since starting up his own gym challenge, he had been having trouble again. Ri kind of felt bad for him; he understood being unsure about his identity, so he sympathized with Red’s struggle knowing whether he was a human or a pokemon.
“I miss identifying myself,” Red asserted. “I used to be Red – a certain human with identifying features. Now… I’m just a Zoroark, like the rest of the Zoroark. I’m… Red the Zoroark, I want something that helps make it obvious. Do you – mind helping me find something that looks good?” he asked.
It took a moment for Ri to process, but he hoped he managed to do it gracefully.
–Sure, he said, relatively awkwardly. You like the bandannas? He asked, hoping it showed support.
Yeah, we don’t mind, Two agreed easily.
“I think so,” Red replied, to Ri’s comment. “I just don’t know what color or pattern or size to choose.”
We can help, Ri offered.
“Thanks,” Red said. Ri sensed it; Red meant that sincerely and deeply. It was… rewarding, getting to do that for him. To start, Ri actually looked at the bandanna Red had chosen. It was red like his fur, but it wasn’t the right red; it was rather off and it laid somewhere between contrasting against him but blending indistinctly into the rest of him that meant it was distracting but in a bad way.
Probably not that one, Two started, saying it for Ri but also agreeing with it.
“–Why not?” Red asked. Ri sensed a touch of indignance in Red, but Red seemed willing to listen. Ri tried to speak up so it wasn’t just Two railing on Red.
It’s… not quite the same as the red of your mane, Ri explained. It doesn’t contrast enough with your fur, but it doesn’t match it enough to look good with it, either.
“… Alright,” Red accepted. He seemed to like it, but he also seemed to accept that if it didn’t look good it wasn’t a good idea for him to wear it. He put it back down, and started looking around for other colors and patterns he liked.
“… I want something to identify myself too,” Blue asserted, rather out from nowhere. Ri looked to him; it was sudden, but it felt less uncharacteristic than Red’s assertion had been. Blue had chosen his name because he didn’t want to just be another Lucario; Ri understood he wanted to make a new place for himself now that he wasn’t a trainer’s pokemon anymore. “Is it OK if I find a bandanna for myself, too?”
Ri looked to Red; it was mostly up to him, Ri felt, since Red was already trying to choose one for his own sense of independence and identity. It caught Red up for a moment, Ri noticed, but he managed something out for a reply.
“Sure,” Red said, “I don’t mind, it won’t stop me from being Red.”
That was the mature Red again, Ri saw; he admired Red’s ability to be fair. He wondered a bit why it felt sometimes like he wasn’t fair to them, but he knew that he and Two weren’t always fair to Red. They’d had a difficult history, Ri remembered… he supposed it was fair of Red to be a little tougher on them than on others. He decided he and Two needed it anyway, so it turned into a moot point that didn’t really matter.
Let us at least find something for Red first, Ri counter-asserted. He didn’t want Red to feel overshadowed by Blue.
“OK,” Blue easily said.
They waited while Red looked through the various different bandannas available to him, and tried to look through some themselves, too. Red’s black fur was easy to pair with – virtually any bright color would work against it, Ri was sure. But Red’s red fur was much harder to pair with. Green seemed too gaudy against it, while any shade of red would just disappear. There was yellow or orange or purple, but all of those seemed too much too. Red showed them a couple different things – even a white bandanna – but none of it seemed to work ‘right.’ At least – until Two came across a rather light blue one and picked it out and presented it to Red. Red looked it over for a bit, apparently considering it.
“I wasn’t too sure about this one,” he admitted. “It seems too bright.”
But anything that’s dark will disappear against your fur, Two defended. Ri looked it over and looked at Red; his eyes shone rather brilliantly in a similar shade of blue.
They match your eyes, Ri pointed out.
They do, Two agreed.
“Wouldn’t that also be too… dimensionless?”
Anything else seemed like too much ‘dimension,’ Ri countered.
If anything, Two offered, the bandanna brings out the color of your eyes and makes it obvious.
“Does it look – good?” Red asked, tying the bandanna around his neck. Ri and Two both took a step back to see. Red did look good, Ri felt; he always thought Red looked good anyway but the bandanna did offset his red and black a bit and make him seem less… scary. It didn’t seem too out of place since it was the same color as his eyes already, but it didn’t overpower the black or the red at all so it seemed to work.
“Try to… remember I’m not gay,” Red pointed out, as Ri and Two eyed him over deciding how he looked.
If we’re into you – wouldn’t that imply a female would be into you too? Ri teased, semi-seriously posing the question. It flustered Red; Ri backed off, but it was a rare moment he and Two managed to get at Red. Ri supposed it was rather vulnerable for him to be going through all this.
We’ll be careful, Two said, comforting Red a bit.
You do look good, Ri said. I think it works.
“Are you sure?” Red asked.
It’s the best we’ve seen yet, Two confirmed.
“… Blue?” Red asked, apparently hoping for an opinion from a friend who wasn’t so likely to be into him.
“Yeah,” Blue agreed. “Like Two said, it brings out your eyes.”
“… I guess it’s good, then,” Red let up. “I wish there were a mirror or something –” Red looked around, and managed to find one. Ri wished he’d trust his friends about it, but he guessed he understood too as he and Two and Blue followed him to a mirror set up near the vendor’s register. He looked himself over, seeing the bandanna for himself.
“I didn’t imagine pokemon wanting to wear those things, but it looks good on you,” said a strange voice. It surprised Ri and Two; it was wholly unwelcome as all 4 of them shot glares at the human behind the register who said it. He seemed surprised by it, but Ri, Two, Red and Blue let up, realizing he really didn’t mean them any harm and was just trying to be nice. It was different for Red, though; it was an unwelcome third-party opinion but Ri saw him admit: if a random stranger liked how he looked, it was pretty good like Ri and Two and Blue were trying to say. He returned to looking himself over, and Ri sensed as he got into the idea of it.
“Thanks,” he said to the man first – somewhat awkwardly.
“Oh, you speak, too!” the cashier said. “That’s a relief, makes it easier to deal with you.”
“We can pay,” Red said unamused; he didn’t seem to appreciate the man butting in on his vulnerable moment. Ri totally understood.
“It does match my eyes,” Red admitted, this time in Zoroark so the human couldn’t understand him. “You’re right, anything else would be too much,” he agreed. He moved himself around to see himself from a couple different angles. “It does look good,” he admitted. “I like it.”
It was a relief to Ri to hear; he was happy for Red to have found something he liked – and he was relieved it was something Ri and Two were telling him was good and especially that it was something Two had suggested. Two had put himself out there – it was nice that his suggestion worked.
“Can we find something for me, too?” Blue asked.
Sure, Ri said.
“I can help too,” Red suggested.
With that, they went around once more, looking for something else for Blue. They ran into the same problem – Blue’s bi-color cream and blue fur and red accenting eyes made it hard to choose a fourth color that tied the rest of them together. Blue liked the black ones – like the color of the mask marking on his face and his paws – but Ri argued that, if it happened to be hot, he would burn up under it and it would be really uncomfortable. Otherwise, there wasn’t really a color they could add since Blue already had so many colors happening at once. They ended up with the red bandanna Red had liked at first; it matched Blue’s eyes fairly well. He put it on and asked for their opinion like Red had, turning around for them.
It looks pretty good too, Ri said.
It matches your eyes, Two said again.
“So you’re going to end up with the one I liked in the first place?” Red teased. “I bet you told me the blue one looks good on me just so you could have the red one.”
“–Sure,” Blue said. “Or I just thought it was funny for you to have the blue one and me to have the red one.”
That is kind of funny, Two pointed out. Ri knew what they meant; Red and Blue’s names were confusing enough, they were just making it more confusing by taking the color of each others’ name for their own bandanna.
It’s not a problem for us, at least, Ri said.
“We are matching,” Red pointed out. “I hope people won’t presume we’re mated because of it.”
It doesn’t seem obvious to me, Two offered. It is… he stalled on it, awkwardly keeping it to himself out of the feeling that stuff like that should be reserved for his mate.
“It’s…” Red challenged seriously; he didn’t seem to appreciate Two holding it back.
… Cute, Ri said. Two looked at him somewhere between guiltily and thankfully; Ri didn’t feel jealous of his mate’s affection – he agreed with the sentiment, after all – but he felt bad Two still felt awkward saying it with their friends. There was, he considered, the fact that Two knew Red likely wouldn’t appreciate a comment like that from them too. He caught Two’s look and tried to reassure him but then he looked over at Red who was considering what Ri and Two were saying.
“… You guys are gay, is everyone going to think that?” Red asked.
I don’t know, Two said. What would you think if you saw two pokemon wearing matching bandannas like that?
“I probably wouldn’t think anything of it,” Red said.
What would humans think of it? Ri emphasized.
“… They might agree but I don’t think they’d assume anything,” Red said.
Then it probably isn’t a problem, Two said.
“Is it really OK for me to get this too?” Blue asked.
“Do whatever you want,” Red said with a slight gruff in his voice, “I don’t really care if we match as long as others don’t think anything of it.”
You are friends, Ri pointed out, it’s OK for you to match.
If we liked, we’d get bandannas too, Two said, then we’d all be matching and it’d be less suggestive that you two are together.
“I don’t know if that’d help,” Red admitted. “It’s fine how it is, let’s get going.”
“As long as it’s OK…” Blue said. “I didn’t want to ruin your enjoyment of it”
“It’s fine,” Red asserted rather roughly. “I still like my bandanna… it is cool that we match I just don’t want to be called cute because of it. It’s fine from Ri and Two but I don’t want others calling it that.”
“OK,” Blue said. “I can change if others take it that way,” he offered.
“Thank you,” Red said. “The bandanna does look good on you too, it’s fortunate we were able to find things we both liked.”
“Yeah,” Blue agreed.
The interaction was enlightening to Ri and Two both; Red put up with things from them that he wouldn’t from others. He understood how they were; they tended to feel that way about stuff like that that he didn’t, and he didn’t blame them for it. He accepted it. He accepted them. It was a relief; they’d gotten away with calling Red cute when he wouldn’t let others. It meant they were his friends – it meant he trusted them that it wasn’t super personal for them to say that about him even though they usually tried to reserve that stuff for each other. They understood that Red wasn’t like that, so they didn’t rub it in, they let it be and moved on and hoped that Red and Blue would get away with it without difficulty.
We need to pay, Two suggested, hoping to relieve the tension a little bit.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“Let’s go then,” Red said. “I’ve seen everything I want to, at least.”
I’m burning out, Ri admitted.
“Are there other things for us to do?” Blue asked, “I don’t want to let it get too late if there’s other stuff we want to do too.”
I’m satisfied, Two said. It’ll be nice to relax from this for a bit.
That settled it. They approached the vendor who’d spoken to them before. While Blue looked in the mirror to see himself, Ri went up to the vendor while Two teleported him his phone so he could pay.
“Hey, you’re both getting bandannas?” the vendor asked.
Both of them wanted one, Ri said plainly, hoping to be done with this transaction quickly.
“Was that –”
Telepathic, Ri said, disinterested.
“Oh…” said the vendor, trying to get his mind around hearing Ri’s voice in his head. “Well, don’t worry about paying, the bandannas look cool on you both. Are you friends or something?”
“–Yeah,” Red said. Ri caught his glance toward him and Two; the vendor had barely managed to stay within Red’s boundaries.
“You two can have ones if you want,” the vendor suggested. “Get ones that match all of you.”
We – Ri started, but he caught himself. Even with humans, he managed certain amounts of sense. The man was offering them 4 free bandannas; it felt rather rude to say no.
But we wouldn’t wear them, Two reasoned privately.
They’re free, Ri said.
… Fine, Two said. He wasn’t upset, Ri understood – they just had to go back and find ones he and Two liked, too.
We’ll be back, Ri said, to Red and Blue.
“Wait – let us help too,” Red said. “I’m going to make you pay for calling us cute.”
“Yeah,” Blue agreed, “you two are biased toward each other anyway.”
It was hard for Ri not to admit that; he felt Two would be cute in anything he wore so he guessed Red and Blue needed to be there to make sure they weren’t making mistakes.
“Just let me see before you go off,” the vendor said.
… Sure, Ri said, unhappy but accepting. The vendor was letting them have free stuff… they could at least let him see them before they ran off to do something else.
Once more they approached the array of bandannas, this time looking for themselves. It was rather awkward, because neither of them really wanted to wear them. They were happy without them; they didn’t feel like they needed them to be identified like Red and Blue did. They supposed they could associate with their friends, though, so they looked. Pretty easily, they found a steel purple bandanna which matched Two’s purple. He tied it through his necks, accentuating the purple of his second neck, tummy, and tail. Ri was harder to search for, though. The purples didn’t match his, and he didn’t want the red one like Blue had. He didn’t want black either, and he wanted something that matched him like everyone else had. Once again Two came across one hidden away which matched the orange of Ri’s torso. It felt rather bright for Ri’s tastes but it felt kind of dumb given his torso was the same color. He put it around his neck, so it ended up blending in to his body a little bit. It was OK to him, though, he didn’t really mind, and he felt it was obvious enough that he was wearing it anyway. He presented himself to his mate and looked his mate over at the same time.
“You are adorable,” Red said, mock-mockingly. It didn’t really bother Ri; he felt Two was cute, and he knew Two felt he was cute, too. It felt nice to feel the affection toward Two; Ri appreciated matching Two and to have that slight show of their mateship. It was totally personal to them, though – Red and Blue had bandannas too and weren’t part of their relationship. If anything – wearing the bandannas was just to help Red and Blue feel less awkward. It was weird; they were trying to dispel the sense of relationship wearing the bandannas generated between Red and Blue while they appreciated the same sense it generated between them. “It is – actually – kind of cute,” Red admitted awkwardly.
It is, Two said, looking at Ri.
Yeah, Ri agreed, looking back. He felt his mate looked good in the bandanna. He sensed Two didn’t feel any personal attachment whether he wore it or not, but at least Ri could appreciate him while he did. Ri sensed it was kind of the same for Two; they just didn’t really have much reason to wear them. Two was already identifiable enough – he wanted to be less identifiable – and Ri had his fur already, and an unwanted identifier branded into his arm. They already had enough they didn’t want identifying them; it felt kind of redundant to add on more on top of it.
Ri thought about it, though – it felt somewhat empowering to put on something that identified him that he liked. He wanted that bandanna there. Or, at least, he could want it there. It was something that he and Two could share – and he liked it. He could think about it and find it cute, happy thoughts he appreciated.
I suppose we could wear them if you want, Two said. I’m – not as enthusiastic about it as you are.
Only if you really don’t mind, Ri said. I like it, but still… I don’t see any reason to keep wearing it.
We can wear them for today, at least, Two offered. We can see how we feel about it when we get home.
Sounds good, Ri said. He looked up to his mate and smiled; it felt like a good idea to try something new. They didn’t have to judge how they felt about it immediately; it was harmless enough that they could give themselves some time to settle into it. And – what it showed was that Two didn’t mind it. It was something intimate that they could share in public. That was easily within the boundaries they needed to define. It was a way for them to feel close while figuring out how to be more open with other stuff they liked to do to feel close.
I appreciate how it makes me feel close to you, Ri admitted.
I – do too, Two admitted back rather awkwardly. Ri watched Two touch the bandanna around his own neck. It’s… a constant reminder, he offered.
It is, Ri agreed. He thought a moment about how it felt to wear it; it didn’t feel as bad as he’d imagined. He supposed that’s why Red thought of it in the first place. It lied around his neck against his fur, stifling it slightly but it wasn’t so bad at least when there was a breeze. It didn’t cover him too much, but he did feel it, which helped with the sense he felt feeling close to Two.
The thought put Ri in an unexpectedly good mood; it was greatly encouraging as they went back to the vendor to show him. It was awkward to show him, though; that kind of dulled the mood as they approached. Ri felt his ears go back and his tail started to swish; he was nervous showing it to him, but he remembered how the human had acted about it between Red and Blue; if it was intimate for them it didn’t have to be intimate for others around them. He just hoped the human would let them get away with it without being too demeaning.
“Ah, I see you’ve found ones you like too,” the vendor said. “They look good on you too – you all match now.”
–Yeah, Ri agreed, detached.
“Take care, then,” the vendor said, “enjoy those – and feel free to come back if you need new ones, too.” The human chuckled – “I’ll recognize you from the bandannas you’re wearing.”
Thanks, Ri said awkwardly. He turned away and his mate and friends followed him; they were done shopping for the moment.
Not… from the color of my fur, or the fact that you’re the only Mewtwo in existence? Ri complained toward Two privately.
…
Two didn’t seem to have much to say, he only really agreed with Ri. They tried not to let it get to them and ruin their enjoyment of the bandannas they were wearing. Ri understood Red and Blue appreciated the sentiment anyway, and Ri supposed the vendor wasn’t totally serious about the last comment.
It didn’t sense serious, Two agreed.
And I guess it doesn’t stop us from enjoying them ourselves, Ri offered.
No it doesn’t, Two agreed.
Then I guess we should just let it go, Ri decided.
Yeah.
That about settled it. Ri sensed Red and Blue; they seemed satisfied from the comment the vendor made, so Ri supposed it was overall good since he and Two were able to let it slide. Aside from that, as they left the markets and tried to find a place they could take a short break and feel safe, Ri couldn’t help but feel satisfied by the experience he and Two had just shared. He was happy – Two was happy – they were vaguely terrified of being hunted down but at least they were able to enjoy themselves somewhat. They’d managed to help Red and Blue, tease him and take some teasing back – and, they didn’t break down. It was a relief; it felt great just to have somewhat of a normal day having fun. The bandanna Ri was wearing – he wasn’t sure it was totally welcome yet, but he did appreciate how it made him feel closer to Two since Two was wearing one, too. It helped Red and Blue feel less awkward, too, which Ri was happy to help with. It was kind of ironic, he felt, since he felt a sense of friendship even with Red and Blue wearing bandannas and Red was worried about Ri and Two being gay about it. He and Two had practically promised to keep it to themselves, though; they didn’t need to make a big thing of it. They didn’t want to make Red and Blue uncomfortable, either; they understood that even if they were accepted that didn’t give them free license to treat Red and Blue however they wanted. That was part of why they kept their affection to themselves; it was a boundary between them and Red and Blue that they understood – learned about from experience making Red uncomfortable. That particular boundary meant a lot to them; they didn’t want to cross it, and they knew that Red was particularly touchy about it. They respected it; they had caused themselves and Red too much pain because there had been a time they didn’t understand it. That was why Red was so quick to defend it; they understood that too and were happy to keep within it to respect him.
The thing was – Ri didn’t know where that boundary lay with strangers. Two didn’t, either. They didn’t know how to deal with strangers. It stuck in Ri’s mind; part of what was so scary about going out and defining that barrier was all the pain Ri and Two felt and caused learning about it with Red. He and Two both were scared of the pain they’d feel testing it out, and Ri thought back to the incident they’d gotten themselves into at Pewter City. That had been hard on Two; Ri hoped they’d manage to figure it out without it being so painful to them in the future. And, on top of it – Red had managed to be forgiving toward them while they developed that barrier, but Ri wasn’t sure the public was going to be so forgiving. The way he and Two had nearly been attacked at a restaurant showed that, even if society as a whole pretended to forget something, individuals didn’t. Some of them held grudges.
“So – what are we going to do?” Blue asked. “There’s still a bunch of time left.”
We don’t know, Two said. We mean to eat, later.
“We basically just ate lunch, though,” Red pointed out.
We need something else to do before then, Ri agreed. I want to rest a bit, though, that was exhausting.
Yeah, Two agreed.
“Like – a park or something?” Blue suggested.
Too open, Ri said, I don’t want to have to keep watching.
“A smaller store?” Red wondered.
Sick of shopping, Two said.
Then... Ri thought. He stopped in his tracks; he’d thought of getting coffee but he didn’t really want that at the moment since it still felt fairly soon after lunch and he didn’t want to have much before dinner. That left them without much at all to do, so they got out of the way of foot traffic and stopped to think. He wondered what he felt like doing, and ended up thinking back to the time he and Two had spent that morning trying to come up with stuff to do. They were familiar with cities; there wasn’t anything intrinsically special about visiting one to them anymore. The only reason to visit one city over another was to see whatever made that city stand out. Like with Cerulean – Ri and the others had walked up and down the canals because that was something that was particular to that city, and Ri and Two had shared a boat ride down one of them because it was a novel experience. Ri considered what was unique to Vermilion, though, and – the only thing that came to his mind were the docks and the markets. They had just visited the markets, and he was not going to visit the docks. Otherwise… it just seemed like a city like any other city.
We can stop somewhere like a library, Two suggested. It might be interesting just to see it while we consider what we could do so we aren’t out in the open like this.
Ri considered it. He wasn’t sure he was too interested in browsing through books, but – there was no pressure to at a library. They only had to be quiet, which was trivial for all of them except Red. They could sit for a bit, rest, and, like Two suggested, see how it was built. If it was a grand central library – Ri was sure it would look pretty cool.
Sounds good to me, he said, looking up to his mate. Two seemed happy; Ri liked being able to make him happy.
“Just to figure out what to do next?” Blue wondered, surprised by all the effort they were going through just to find some place out of the way to figure out what to do.
We want somewhere out of the way where we can find something to do in peace, Ri explained. I want to get out of the open for a bit.
“I could appreciate sitting down for a bit,” Red agreed, “I’m still exhausted from the gym.”
Is there one nearby? Two wondered out loud. Ri took a look, searching on his phone.
It’s like… 15 minutes away, Ri said.
That’s… doable, Two said. Ri knew what he meant; it seemed torturous to walk that long when he could manage it quickly by flying, or be there instantly by teleporting. They weren’t familiar with the place yet, though, so they couldn’t teleport there.
“It’ll be fine,” Red assured, “at least for me.”
We want to get out of the open, it’s rough having to walk so long for that, Ri said. I want to be able to stop worrying about being noticed for a bit.
“I guess I understand,” Blue said. He didn’t totally seem to to Ri, but Ri guessed he appreciated Blue was trying.
If that’s our plan we should get on our way, Two suggested.
Yeah, Ri agreed. He navigated on his phone and headed out to lead his mate and friends to the library.
I’ll stay close behind you, Two said, I won’t lose you.
Thanks, Ri said. I’m paying attention too, he reassured his mate.
Don’t get us lost though, Two teased.
I can look at my phone and sense where I’m going, Ri defended.
I know, Two said softly. Ri understood; Two worried for him. That’s why they wanted the rest; they wanted to be able to stop worrying for a little while.
Ri led everyone to the library; it didn’t seem so bad once they were walking. Red explained the concept of a library to Blue which helped pass the time a bit, and while Ri navigated Two kept an eye out for places that might interest them. There were a couple stores, but everyone had their fill of shopping; Ri decided they’d have to wait until another visit to go see them. Otherwise, there wasn’t much. It made Ri wonder about what they were going to visit in other cities in the future, and he hoped that the other cities Red still had to visit had attractions that didn’t terrify Ri. At the very least, they got to get a feel for Vermilion as they walked down the streets through the busier, commercial/banking/business areas. They passed by a couple parks, but while Two noted them as possibilities once they had some time to rest, they forged ahead to the library anyway just to be able to be inside for a little while. It ended up not being too long, and they came upon it soon, towering above all of them. They paused to take it in; the building was rather plainer than Ri had imagined, at least from seeing the grand libraries from other regions. He sighed; it dashed their hopes a bit, but at least he hoped they could rest. They went inside, and were fascinated by what they saw. It was a modern space – hence the relatively plain outside – but the inside was thought out, designed, and crafted. Floors upon floors of books, all in a central, open space. It was a lot more books than Ri or Two had ever seen at once. Sky lights lit up the entire room in natural light – great for reading, Ri guessed, at least when it was light and sunny out. The walls of books were framed in dark wood shelves which glistened in the sunlight. It was impressive; Ri was happy Two thought to visit even though it wasn’t exactly what they had expected.
It's impressive, Two said. I wonder what amount of knowledge this place holds. And to think –
Ri thought Two was being cute; Two was being overwhelmed by the idea that this was only a small portion of the total output of human literature and writing.
“And people are free to –”
“Hush!” someone called to them from a nearby desk. The sudden noise surprised all of them, causing all of them to look at him. He beckoned them over, and they awkwardly went to him since it seemed he wanted to talk quietly.
“Where are your trainers?” he asked.
Pokemon need trainers to visit a library? Ri asked, unamused. He wasn’t happy about being treated that way, but he wasn’t really disappointed anymore; he rather expected it.
“Quiet!”
You’re the only one who can hear me, Ri said indignantly, aside from my mate and friends.
“… Just don’t make a mess,” the human said, realizing Ri was speaking telepathically. “Can any of you even read?”
–Yeah, Blue said. We all can. We know how not to make messes, too.
Even Blue seemed irked, with that last statement presuming they couldn’t read. Ri knew Blue was proud of learning how to read; he could see how that would bother him. Again, the human considered. He ended up bowing to them slightly.
“My apologies,” he said. “Welcome to Vermilion Library, we welcome pokemon alongside trainers so it is no problem for you to visit. We hope you enjoy your stay and find something truly enriching, riveting or, if it’s your style, contemplative among our rank of texts. Just remember that we don’t loan books out, so make sure to put them back in their places before you leave.”
… OK, Ri said. As he, his mate, and their friends walked by, they tried to shrug off the encounter. It wasn’t as bad as usual, it was just… normal, and it ate at them to be challenged like that every time they met a human. Ri looked up into the library and its magnificent collection, though; his worries melted away a little in awe. Keeping close, they all went a couple rounds around the library just looking at the way the place had been built, admiring the design of the shelves and the way the natural light reached every single nook and cranny.
We’re free to look at anything we want, Two eventually said, finally answering the question Blue had been trying to ask before he was interrupted, but we can’t take it out, apparently, he continued.
But didn’t Red say you could take books out of a library for free? Blue challenged.
“I guess not all libraries are like that,” Red admitted, quietly so he didn’t bother anyone.
Why not? Blue asked.
I suppose if they value the integrity of the collection, Two guessed. They wouldn’t want people taking books if every book is worth something.
Couldn’t they just make more books? Blue wondered.
Or… digitize them so they’re available freely to everyone everywhere, Two figured.
“There’s something about a library, though,” Red said. “That was something I learned to appreciate in my later years as a human.”
Ri remembered Blue the Champion’s office when they’d visited it months before. It had shelves of books. Ri hadn’t imagined Red was too much the reading type.
Were those your books in the Champion’s office? Ri asked.
“They just sit there,” Red said. “I didn’t read any of them until I matured some. Even now, I think they were all pretty boring.”
Ri guessed Red wasn’t the kind of pokemon who’d find dry texts about Kanto history or books about being an effective leader interesting. He thought back to what Red had said before though, and it was hard not to agree with him at the moment. The library was grand; it held a ton of knowledge and stories. All in physical form. Ri knew paper got moldy, or libraries burned down – that knowledge could easily be lost when written down and stored all together in one place – but there was something about it that a hard drive or a data center just couldn’t match, even if one data center could house several copies of the entire library in the same space. Ri appreciated it – and was happy Two thought to mention it.
The second time around, however, they were starting to tire of the architecture. They wanted to rest, so they turned their attention to finding a place they could take a break. There was, luckily, a hall filled with booths for private studying in small groups with a nearer, more intimate, more private ceiling. Ri and his mate and friends easily took one for themselves, relieved to find a place to feel secure for a little while. Hidden away – even in a public place like this – Ri felt himself relax, and – though he checked around first to make sure – he felt comfortable enough and sensed Two was willing, so he leaned against his mate and nuzzled against his shoulder once or twice to show his affection in a small way. Ri sensed his mate smile; it was always a great moment when Two was happy. To return it, Two started petting his thigh again. It felt nice; Ri was happy to get a chance to share some intimacy with his mate.
“I guess since this is a space for groups, it’s OK to be a little louder,” Red asserted. Ri did hear voices around them at a fairly normal volume; he felt Red’s suggestion was reasonable.
“I don’t get why that guy got on our case for being loud in the other room,” Blue asked.
People might want to concentrate on the books they’re reading, Two offered. I never got it either, but I suppose I understand if it can be distracting it can be polite to keep quiet.
It’s nice when it’s quiet while we’re working at home, though, Ri pointed out.
Usually you’re working on music, Two teased. When it’s not on your monitors, it’s on open-back headphones.
… Fair enough, Ri backed off, seeing Two’s point.
You know I don’t mind, Two said softly, letting up.
I do, Ri agreed, reassured. Sometimes it is quiet, he asserted.
That’s true, Two agreed. Like when we read.
Yeah, Ri said. It’s nice when it’s quiet when we read. We hear each other reading in our heads, though, he said, getting back at Two a little bit.
Yeah… Two admitted. Hearing you in my head is reassuring, though, he defended.
It is, Ri agreed. I don’t know what I’d do if I stopped hearing you.
I don’t either, Two said. It turned dark quickly; Ri sometimes regretted how quickly their fun turned sour like that. Ri couldn’t imagine being cut off from Two; he nearly shuddered thinking about it even though he was about as close to Two as he could be physically.
“I still don’t really know what that’s like,” Blue said. Ri thought about it, happy for the change in topic to distract him and Two from scary thoughts. He tried to remember what it felt like for Two to speak in his mind before they were mated.
What does it feel like to you when Two speaks in your mind? Ri asked.
“I feel the presence of his mind against mine. It was weird when he first started doing it when I evolved but I got used to it and I know it’s not as invasive as it felt at first.”
That helped Ri remember: before he played around with his and Two’s auras, Two’s voice sounded apart from his. It was like – Two was reaching out, grabbing his mind and making him think those thoughts to speak in his head, and he happened to hear them in Two’s voice since it was Two thinking those thoughts to him. After they mated and Ri gave Two some of his aura, though, Two stopped feeling ‘outside’ his mind and started feeling ‘inside’ his mind. It was probably more invasive, but it didn’t feel that way to Ri because Two’s voice felt almost like a part of him rather than another being forced on him.
It's like… I hear Two as part of me now, Ri said. His thoughts happen inside of my head but it feels natural, like they’re supposed to be there. I don’t need to work to see what he’s thinking or feeling because it’s all happening inside my head like my own thoughts and feelings.
I don’t need to work to read Ri, Two said. Everything he thinks is apparent to me as my own thoughts are.
“It still seems too much,” Blue said. “No privacy at all. I can’t imagine being so close to anybody.”
That isn’t – totally – true, Ri said, awkwardly.
“You mean –” Blue could sense for himself – he knew what Ri was getting at, or at the very least he saw Ri was getting at something.
I’ve… kept things from Ri, Two said.
“How is that possible?” Blue asked, in disbelief.
I wasn’t myself when Two saved me from Cipher, Ri said. Our bond, it… broke, for a little while, he said. He wasn’t sure how to explain it; he didn’t really remember, himself. It was something he really didn’t like thinking about.
It was terrifying, Two said, but for a little while, Ri wasn’t with me in my head. I had to… figure out many things on my own until I managed to get Ri back.
He kept a lot of that from me afterward, Ri said.
“Why?”
Even Two was bothered by the question. Ri knew why; he demonstrated why every time he started questioning himself for what he’d done to his mate. Ri hadn’t been strong enough to face it back then; he was barely strong enough now to face it and not fall apart. The conversation had turned truly compromising; Ri felt weak, small – like the hurt Lucario Two had found and rescued. He felt reduced to the broken Lucario he’d been when Two took him back from Cipher. He trusted Two – he trusted himself to pull through – but it was still hard.
Please, Two pleaded, we need to talk about something else.
I trust him to tell me when we’re both ready, Ri said weakly. I know some of it… it’s a lot of the reason I get the way I do. I made him do a lot to help me… I want to be able to take care of myself so he doesn’t have to work so hard to take care of me for me.
I’ll probably have to tell you soon, Two said, but please, he emphasized to the rest of the group, let’s do something else.
OK, Ri said, easily letting go of the topic for the moment. He didn’t really want to think about it either. He thought instead of the bandannas around his and Two’s necks; they were mates, they trusted each other and loved each other. They had just been having fun, so Ri didn’t want to ruin it. As he’d said, he trusted Two to tell him when it was time. Two didn’t seem to want to talk about it now, but Ri knew all the things he was going through; it was on Two’s mind that they would have to talk about it, so he trusted that, when it was appropriate, they would. It was scary to think about – Ri didn’t know much about how Two dealt with him in the beginning – but he hoped he and Two would manage to pull through it together.
Ri nuzzled against Two again for comfort and to try to comfort Two, then they teleported themselves their laptops so they could do more research. Sticking close, they set again to find something to do in Vermilion, this time involving Red and Blue much more directly to agree on something they could enjoy as a group. They came across all the same things – parks, the war museum, the docks, scores of restaurants which they weren’t interested in yet, and all the standard city entertainment which they weren’t particularly interested in either. This time, at least, they were able to discuss with Red and Blue to help form some idea of something to do. Ri and Two wanted to rest – they were thankful, at least, that they found a secluded, quiet, indoors place to take a break from the city around them for a bit. Red was rather satisfied with the gym and the markets, but understood they wanted to stay out until dinner and was interested in that. Blue was rather adamant about the parks, though; he wanted to see what they looked like. Ri figured he was thinking of his old home in Cerise Laboratory in another world’s Vermilion. He suddenly realized –
Wait – Ri blurt out, do you want to visit Cerise?
Blue looked away abash; he’d been caught. Ri had barely remembered Professor Cerise’s laboratory was in Vermilion. He wondered if it was there on his and Two’s world.
It’s not going to be the same Professor Cerise, Two remarked.
“I know,” Blue said. “I want to see what it’s like, though.”
Suddenly, Blue’s earlier worked-up state while they were waiting for Red made much more sense to Ri. He was surprised he missed it; he felt really bad he and Two hadn’t realized it earlier.
I’m sorry we missed it, he said.
“I tried to keep it from you,” Blue said. “It seemed like you were worrying about yourselves before, anyway. If anything, I’m happy you didn’t notice, it means you don’t pry.”
Ri thought back; he guessed it was better the way it happened. He and Two had been preoccupied, and Blue seemed to actually appreciate they missed it. The moment passed, so Ri turned his attention toward visiting Cerise Park.
He supposed it was a good idea, especially for Blue see how Ri and Two’s world was different from his old one. It interested everyone because they all knew Cerise and his park on Blue’s world, and Ri figured that if the park worked anything like it did on Blue’s world, it would be a safe, secluded area they could see without worrying about the public.
It’s going to be awkward, Ri considered out loud. For all of us.
“It’s not the same person, right? Then just treat him like he isn’t,” Blue said.
It’s not… usually that simple, Ri said.
“Oh, right…”
Ri had known Blue’s trainer – at least, another version of him. That trainer happened to be the one who had betrayed Ri to the poacher who sold him to Cipher, so it had been very difficult for him to remember the alternate one who trained Blue was a different person. Ri didn’t hold it against Blue for forgetting; it didn’t really involve him and Ri tried to keep it between himself and Two anyway.
It might be interesting, though, Two said. If it’s similar, it’s totally secluded so we wouldn’t have to worry about others.
“He might not like random pokemon showing up to visit his park,” Red said.
He might… enjoy learning about us, Ri said. If he’s anything like the Cerise we know… he paused to think about it, he’ll be understanding of us.
He’s more likely to know of us here anyway, Two offered.
“Would it be – possible for us to visit?” Blue asked.
Ri waited for Two to decide, then made to answer for both of them:
We don’t mind, he said.
“Sounds fun,” Red said. “As long as it doesn’t turn into a discussion with Cerise about how we’re all not normal pokemon.”
Ri saw Red’s point, and he agreed with it totally, of course. They were there to enjoy themselves and see the park, not lay out their secrets to a random human – even if they were pretty sure that human would be enough like the Cerise they knew.
I guess we could try, Ri figured out loud.
It might backfire on us, Two warned.
…
Ri wondered about it. It did seem weird – 4 random pokemon showing up to see a practical stranger’s private property – but it was, finally, something they all agreed on as a group that was interesting. Ri nearly wanted Blue to see this alternate Cerise to help him understand the difference between his universe and their universe, and he was interested himself, aside from the awkwardness of visiting a random person and the nervousness he felt visiting them for the first time.
“You guys are – were – leaders,” Red suggested, catching his mistake awkwardly. “It might not be so weird in that context.”
We just want to see his park though, Ri said.
“I would like to see,” Blue said.
Ri considered it; it felt weird but he hoped there was enough context to make it OK. If it was a similar place to the Cerise Laboratory they knew, it was private but it was open to the public – at least, the lab part was. He was sure they’d be welcome, but he didn’t know if they’d get to see his park or not.
I guess we can try, Ri said. We should probably be careful how we go about it.
I agree, Two said. It would be rude for us to go and expect to see his park, we should feel out what he expects.
“What if the park doesn’t work out?” Red asked.
I guess… we just say we’re here to visit and have fun, not have deep discussions about ourselves and find another park to visit? Ri offered.
“If he doesn’t let us see his park,” Blue agreed.
That sounds reasonable, Two agreed.
Would you be willing to talk? Ri asked, looking up at his mate. He’ll probably be more interested in you than in any of us.
… Maybe, Two said. Depends on what I sense and on how personal he’s trying to be.
Fair enough, Ri said. He just didn’t want Two to be uncomfortable; he brought it up so they were ready for it.
Having something to do felt encouraging. Ri was interested in Cerise and his lab and park. The Cerise they knew had been relatively kind and supportive – he had easily figured out Ri’s past but though it had been an awkward discussion he was supportive without going overboard, which Ri eventually managed to appreciate. If their Cerise was any similar, he’d be equally kind and supportive. If he were – Ri felt Cerise was a human he could be relatively comfortable around. He felt he wasn’t about to share his most vulnerable secrets and show Cerise his most vulnerable moments, but he felt that he and Two could trust him not to take advantage of them or hurt them, which meant a lot. A lot like old Professor Oak. Aside from that, Cerise Park was a fun place, with a few different ‘biomes’ where all sorts of pokemon could feel at home. Ri figured meeting the pokemon could be fun, and he appreciated the chance to roam a bit of nature with his mate, even if that nature were human-groomed and kept. It excited him; it was nice to feel.
He wasn’t quite ready yet, though; he was happy sitting with Two and their friends, too. At least, with a destination in mind, they were able to chill for a little while. Ri checked the news – there was no mention of them closing their gym yet, but he expected to see it very soon. Aside from that, everything was going normal. Trainers were roaming Kanto, collecting badges, making friends, getting stronger, preparing for the tournament that would highlight the season in just under a couple years. It was a huge event that overtook the entirety of Kanto and Johto both when it happened. It was vaguely exciting even if Ri and Two never really worried about it. They only ever worried about the battle against the Champion at the end – if there was one – since they had always appreciated the Champion of Kanto knowing and understanding them in even any small capacity. But Ri supposed it didn’t really matter to them anymore – they were just pokemon, now. It was weird and uncomfortable to think about; they didn’t have to worry about the League and anything that happened in it anymore. If they were interested, it was only for fun. It was a relief to Ri and Two both as they discussed it.
Aside from that, they chatted a bit. Blue mentioned a bit of nervousness meeting a new Cerise, while Red talked some about the League. They talked about how the city was, and Ri wondered what Blue thought of it since he’d remembered Vermilion was practically Blue’s home city. Blue said he didn’t know it much – he knew mostly Pallet Town and the park. Ri guessed it made sense; he remembered Blue as a Riolu had spent more time in Pallet than he did in Vermilion. Which, he supposed – made Pallet his home city, even if he hatched in Vermilion and, technically, he lived in Vermilion his entire life.
Red vaguely brought up dinner after visiting Cerise, too. It sounded like a good idea, but still Ri couldn’t bring himself to decide where to go. At the moment – Cerise was on his mind. He was excited about it, but it was kind of scary, too, so he wanted to at least get himself settled in the lab before thinking about dinner after. As they kept chilling the excitement and worrying mounted, so he eventually suggested they go. Everyone was ready, so they left the library behind and made their way.
Once again, Ri navigated to find Cerise Laboratory. It was a little later in the day, so it was a touch less active out which Ri appreciated. Two kept close to him again and Red and Blue stuck near them still, but it wasn’t as scary walking down the streets. With a bit of rest, it was easier watching for danger again, too, and with a destination in mind where Ri and Two hoped to be safe again, it wasn’t a big deal to bother with. Ri felt himself tiring, though – he wanted to be safe, home, and able to be affectionate without restraint. He was having fun – and it meant a lot to be able to do that with Two out in public like this – but there was still a lot they had to figure out to make it easier on them. He was happy to enjoy it, at least. His anxiety asserted itself as they came upon Cerise Laboratory, though. He sensed Cerise and his assistants inside – he hoped that meeting them would go well. He didn’t want it to be awkward and he didn’t want it to turn into some kind of research expo for Cerise, but he hoped that they could manage to have fun. Walking up to the door was terrifying – Ri felt he remembered the other Cerise having cameras to watch the front door and in fact sensed that the people inside were aware of them already – but with Two’s paw at his back to reassure him covertly and a sigh or two, he managed to knock on the door with his paw, softly asserting his presence through his fur. He waited nervously, worried about what sort of welcome they’d get. He sensed Two’s nervousness, too. Cerise was a scientist; Two didn’t have great experience with them. Oak was a good one, and the Cerise they knew was a good one, but that was no indication that this Cerise would be good, too. Ri just hoped it would work out as he sensed Cerise coming to the door. His nervousness came to a point as someone opened the door.
“Why – hello!” said the voice. Ri looked – it was Cerise, just as he’d expected, but he didn’t sense the same, which made it clear it wasn’t the same person. “Fancy seeing you here. You’re –” Ri watched painfully as Cerise thought to remember their names – “Two,” he identified, gesturing at Two “and Ri, your gym leader partner. I remember old Oak telling me stories about you from years ago, but I never imagined getting to meet you for myself, especially after you all but disappeared from public view.”
Hi, Ri managed awkwardly, after a short pause. He felt exposed as Cerise noticed his mind’s voice, and his ears flattened because he was unsure.
“Are you a telepathic Lucario?” Cerise asked. “I heard rumors that it’s possible, but there aren’t many Lucario in Kanto for me to study to verify them.”
Any Lucario can learn to speak, Blue asserted.
“Was that –” Cerise looked around to identify the second voice he heard, and Ri watched as Cerise realized. “You’re both telepathic,” he drew out.
We taught him how to speak, Ri said plainly.
“Fascinating,” Cerise said. Ri practically saw the gears in his mind turning – considering the implications of pokemon teaching other pokemon how to speak. It seemed exciting to him, but Ri didn’t care to bother figuring out why. He figured it was best to leave it alone anyway. At least – it didn’t seem like the worst response Cerise could’ve had.
“Oh – where are my manners,” Cerise faltered. “My apologies, please come in!” He stepped aside to let Ri and the others in.
Ri happily followed in after Cerise, relieved that the awkward introductions were over. For once, what Ri felt from the professor was mostly veneration toward his mate – a sheer respect for what and who he was. Whether he understood the implications and complications and subtleties of what Two was, Ri didn’t know, but aside from how awkward his mate felt, Ri thought it was a relatively OK start. They just had to see how it was going to go from there, and even if the start felt relatively reassuring, Ri still worried it would fall apart from there.
They followed him into the living area they were used to, but it was decorated differently. Whether it was because Cerise was different or because it was a different time with different styles, Ri didn’t know. It was a modest living room, with places for them all to sit and a TV which seemed to be there simply to be able to provide entertainment. At the very least, there was room enough for them all to sit. Ri sat by his mate, of course, but he didn’t cuddle into Two or nuzzle against him or anything. At least – Two shifted close to him so they were touching, which Ri appreciated.
“So… what brings you pokemon to my lab?” Cerise asked. “And, if you don’t mind me asking, who are these friends you’ve brought along? Two Lucario, a Mewtwo, and a Zoroark – not exactly pokemon common to Kanto.”
We wanted to see your lab, Ri said.
“Suddenly, out of the blue when you’ve been dead silent for so long?” Cerise said, calling them out. It didn’t sound sincere – it sounded playful, like he was just making conversation – but it shook in Ri’s body, resounding through him like an accusation.
“I –” Cerise faltered. Ri had barely realized; he guessed he’d shuddered or something that betrayed how Cerise’s statement bothered him.
“We were visiting Vermilion,” Red said, to save the moment. “It sounded like fun to come see your place.”
“Was that –” Once again, Cerise looked around surprised.
“Me,” Red said, gesturing to get Cerise’s attention. “I can speak too.”
At the very least, Cerise just accepted it this time and moved on.
“Right – do you keep up with the Professor?” Cerise asked, apparently letting the awkward mishaps slide.
We used to, Ri said shortly, uncomfortable but not yet alarmed.
“He is getting pretty old,” Cerise offered. “He must not get around too much anymore.”
Ri figured not, but he didn’t really care. He supposed he and Two should try and see him again, but mostly he thought of a Lucario they’d befriended who lived there, who surely ended up doing most of the work for Oak. Ri hoped Lucario appreciated it; he’d gone to live with Oak to help the pokemon, after all.
“Anyway, how is Cinnabar Gym going? I was surprised the League gave it to you, but since then it seemed like the place was a perfect fit for the two of you.”
Ri foresaw the pain he and Two could endure, but at the same time, he didn’t feel he could lie. He prepared himself, and laid it out plainly:
We gave it up. It’s not public yet.
“You –” Cerise was shocked; Ri guessed it was an OK response. “What made you retire?”
That’s our business, Two said, a touch protectively. That was too far, Ri agreed; Cerise didn’t need to know why they decided to stop being gym leaders.
“Fine,” Cerise let up, “I won’t pry.” He lifted his hands like it wasn’t a big deal, but… it was. At the very least – not making a big deal of it let the moment pass by without further aggravating Ri or Two. “At least – Two, I’m interested in hearing from you. I remember what Oak told me about you long ago but much has happened since we last talked about you.”
I am not quick to speak, Two said. Ri sensed that even saying that felt too far for Two, but Ri saw how he hoped that going that far would at least stop Cerise from prying too much. Aside from that, Ri saw how Two wasn’t sure about Cerise and Oak talking about him at all.
“… I understand,” Cerise finally said. This time – Ri sensed genuine sympathy from Cerise; it wasn’t just something he said to make the conversation go smoothly, it was a gesture that showed that he thought something of Two. Ri saw that Two appreciated it; it meant Cerise wasn’t going to pry into him like a scientist analyzing data. “In that case – if it isn’t too much, I would appreciate at least knowing how you found yourself with a Lucario partner. From what Oak said – you were very much a ‘lone Mightyena.’
Two glanced at Ri; Ri caught it for a moment. Ri felt it was up to Two; he didn’t mind letting Cerise know. It was mostly up to what Two felt comfortable sharing.
We are mated, Two said dryly. He is my mate.
Cerise seemed surprised; Ri saw it bothered Two, like – “you’re not supposed to be the sort of pokemon to mate like that” but Ri sensed Two try not to read into it too much. From what they could glean so far, the only information Cerise knew about Two was from before Two mated Ri. Back then – even Two could see someone thinking he would never open up and care for another. It wasn’t like that anymore they both knew, but they could forgive Cerise for not thinking that way.
“You must be close mates,” Cerise guessed. “It is incredible to have mated pokemon to be able to talk to…”
Once again, Ri and Two both saw the wheels spinning in Cerise’s head. This time it was more directly insulting and demeaning; neither of them wanted Cerise to ‘study’ their mateship. They didn’t plan on being open about it at all enough for him to learn anything, anyway. He seemed to notice at least.
“My apologies,” he backed off, “I’d only study something like that if you let me.”
The encounter so far had been a relief. Cerise had that ‘scientist’ drive to him – to study, to learn, to… frankly, reduce everything around him to data points and things to observe, but he was also able to back off and be just a normal person. He responded to Ri and Two and their boundaries – it helped them both feel comfortable asserting them and comfortable within what they were willing to show Cerise.
“But, Ri, if you don’t mind me asking, your color –”
I do, Ri quickly emphasized. It took him off-guard, but he needed to shut it down quickly.
“… It’s not natural,” Cerise hinted seriously. It drove through Ri; like the other one, this Cerise had rather quickly identified his past from his appearance. “I promise, I won’t pry.”
…
Ri figured settling down and allowing himself to be comfortable again was thanks enough. Cerise backed off; that was what mattered. Ri just hoped it was clear now that those were boundaries that he couldn’t test. That he’d have to wait until Ri and Two were willing to lift them. It just alarmed him that Cerise had guessed at his past so easily. He wondered: was it so obvious he was an abused pokemon?
Most people don’t seem to notice, Two reassured him, even with your brand.
I just want to be a Lucario, Ri said, I don’t want to be…
He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He wanted to be treated like a normal Lucario, but at the same time, he understood that he didn’t relate to others like a normal Lucario. He didn’t want to be babied because he was abused, but he wanted his past of abuse to be respected, too. It started to close in on him – he started to panic and overthink – he noticed but he wasn’t really sure how to get out of it.
He seems to understand, at least, Two said. It helped Ri center himself; they were here with Cerise; it wasn’t a great idea to get caught up in how others might treat him. What mattered at the moment was how Cerise was treating them, and so far Cerise hadn’t babied them for anything.
I guess, Ri said back. Thanks, he said, recognizing that he’d nearly started to fall apart again.
Of course, Two offered him.
“So – do you want to meet my assistants?” Cerise asked. Ri wasn’t sure about it; it had been hard enough meeting just Cerise. He’d just gotten through the awkward step of meeting a new person, so he didn’t really want to go through it again. Two didn’t seem to want to do that either, but as Cerise made to get up to fetch them, Ri sensed Two start panicking. He was thinking about something Cerise had said earlier, and Ri sensed he didn’t want to let it go. If Cerise left and came back with others – Ri saw Two felt his slight chance to approach the topic would evaporate.
–Wait, Two said, trying his best to control what he was feeling. It was a sudden thing he felt since he suddenly didn’t want to let the moment pass; Ri understood he was a little unprepared for it.
“What is it?” Cerise asked, pausing mid-rising from his seat. Ri sensed how difficult it was for Two to go through with the outburst; he tried showing his support without being too obvious about it, mostly letting it sit in his mind so Two could sense it and hopefully draw the courage to ask.
… What did Oak say about me? Two asked, seriously. Ri saw how vulnerable and awkward it was for him; he hoped Two could pull through and he hoped that Cerise’s answers weren’t too hard on him. Ri could see how confusing it could be for Two to hear what others thought and perceived of him before he’d become the pokemon he was now. And – Ri saw how hard it was for Two to speak up to ask, too.
“He said you were a good pokemon,” Cerise said, sitting back down. “He said, one day, you’re going to struggle a lot with your identity because of how Team Rocket treated you.”
A –
Two seemed surprised by Cerise’s answer, and it seemed troubling to him, too. Ri knew Two didn’t expect it, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing. Two just receded to consider its implications. It cut through Two; he hadn’t expected to be so precisely predicted by Oak years before Two actually found himself troubled in the way Oak had said. Ri felt he could parse them out: it showed first that Cerise considered Two a being, not just an experiment. He appreciated that Two was an incredible work of human achievement, but he saw Two as a pokemon with his own sovereignty. It showed Oak had foreseen who Two was years before he opened up to Ri and felt enabled to open up more. Two didn’t know himself, but Oak had known him enough to guess that he was going to go through everything he was going through at the moment.
“I don’t think Oak had any idea back then that you would be able to open up to relate so closely to another.”
… I greatly appreciate him, Two said, through a cloud of confusion as Ri saw several things going through his mind at once. Two looked at Ri awkwardly; Ri made eye contact and tried to be reassuring. He understood; Two couldn’t nearly be open with Cerise. Ri just kept it in the back of his mind: he could tease Two with that, as long as Two wasn’t going to be hurt by it.
“I’m sure you both mean a lot to each other,” Cerise drew out. “But – if you’re anxious about meeting my assistants, why don’t I let you slip through into the park? I can let you explore at your leisure – you can meet whoever you want if you feel comfortable with it.”
–OK, Ri said. It was a relief; he was excited to get to doing the things they actually wanted to do. Two was on his mind, though; he’d been pretty knocked up by what Cerise had said. He hoped they’d be able to think through it once they had a moment more alone. With that, Cerise got up again to lead them through to the park. Ri got up to follow him, but noticed Two hanging back in thought. Ri touched his paw to get his attention, and Two looked at him half-aware.
Two? He poked, hoping to get Two’s attention without bothering him.
–Yeah, Two responded. He pulled himself together and got up to follow Ri. Red and Blue followed after them, chasing after Cerise who was peeking through the door he wanted them to go through. It was a slightly tender moment, Ri supposed, that he just showed Cerise, but… he hoped it wasn’t too much, and he felt he’d needed to get Two’s attention without bothering him. As they followed Cerise, he figured he’d figured out how close they were anyway.
They followed Cerise through a couple doors and hallways – Ri remembered how the lab was a bit convoluted. They remembered the way, though, and soon Cerise opened the door to the park. Ri led Two, Red, and Blue through, and Cerise followed in after them.
“This is Cerise Park,” he said, “Many of the pokemon who are kind enough to let us study them stay here. Also, many of the pokemon our research partners catch reside here, too. It’s become rather lively recently – you will have many pokemon to meet, if you wish!”
Research partners? Blue asked, alarmed. His old trainer was a research partner; Ri understood completely that he wouldn’t want to chance seeing another version of him.
“They are out on a mission in Unova, so they aren’t around.”
Blue seemed to relax; it was good that things were working out for them.
“I’ll leave you all alone to explore at your leisure,” Cerise said. “Just come back here and ring the bell when you’re ready to leave.”
OK, Ri said awkwardly. He was happy Cerise was letting them roam free, but it put it on them not to overstay, too. He guessed they wouldn’t spend too long; they wanted dinner. It didn’t overshadow the relief he felt as Cerise closed the door and left them alone, though. He looked at his mate, gauging how he felt – Two had been pretty bothered by the things Cerise said Oak had said about him. They still swam in the back of his mind, Ri saw, making him half-present. He figured Two was feeling OK enough for Ri to tease him a bit.
It feels good to be ‘greatly appreciated,’ Ri teased cautiously, being careful to be uplifting about it so it was obvious he wasn’t upset.
Ri –
Two turned suddenly, and quickly hugged him close to try to show what he meant in full. Ri knew a lot was on his mate’s mind; Two was nearly overwhelmed with it.
You know what I meant, he said softly. I’m dearly grateful for everything you’ve given me.
I know~ Ri replied. It was just funny to hear you put it that way.
Two sighed; he was relieved that Ri wasn’t hurt.
I’m sorry, he said, I want to learn how to be more open so I don’t have to do that anymore.
That’s… what we’re trying to do, Ri pointed out plainly. He sensed and felt Two nod above him; he was happy everything was OK. He nuzzled against Two and hugged him back, rubbing his back a little to feel his fur.
I didn’t expect what he said Oak said, Two explained. He knew, he foresaw, he called me a good pokemon even though –
Two didn’t seem sure about it; Ri wanted to help him.
I saw the same thing in you, he tried saying. It was why I was comfortable around you at first.
I know, Two said, but I didn’t expect a human to see through me like that too.
He didn’t totally see, Ri consoled. Cerise said Oak didn’t foresee you opening up and mating me.
I suppose so, Two said. It’s… I didn’t think I was – predictable. How did a human know how hard it was going to be on me before I did? How did he read me so easily?
I don’t know, Ri admitted. He didn’t know how to comfort Two, except for letting him hug him as much as he wanted, and being available for Two to bunt and nuzzle against.
… I need to figure out how to process it, Two said. He sighed as he set himself to it. Ri knew it was hard on him, but Ri appreciated him trying to take initiative on it. He hoped Two knew he was there to help if he wanted. He seemed to manage it himself, though, and made himself see the full picture aside from the initial feelings he had. He bunted Ri a couple times as he surfaced.
If Oak thought I was good, Two said, it can be reassuring, he decided.
Ri thought Two was a good pokemon, but Ri knew Two knew he was biased, too. It was different to hear from someone who wasn’t invested in their relationship, Ri understood, especially from back then when Two hadn’t shown so many redeeming qualities. For Oak to see them in him before he knew they were there himself and could even identify them – Ri saw how it made Two feel inept and even kind of stupid. He seemed to push it down, though, and see that the comments could be encouraging, too.
He knew how I was handling it, Two asserted. I… can be blamed for refusing to see, but I can’t be blamed for being unable to see. He seems to have recognized that I would have difficulty seeing. I feel silly because he predicted it, but I am also comforted that he didn’t expect me to be able to figure everything out. It is… a relief that his statements validate the difficulty I have.
Ri was happy Two managed to come to that conclusion. It was an encouraging one: Ri saw how it helped Two feel OK that he was struggling so much. He was a mess, but it was expected of him to be a mess, at least from people who took the time to genuinely understand him and his situation. Along with Ri not blaming him for any of it, it emboldened him to keep struggling to improve.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
I managed to figure it out, Two reassured him. Ri nodded into his chest; he was happy for Two to return to him a bit and thankful he managed to make himself do it this time. Two was a little happier; it was nice for Ri to see.
“It’s nice he left us alone,” Blue stated. “He seemed to figure out we like having space.”
Ri wasn’t totally sure that was it, but he didn’t feel great saying it out loud.
He saw we needed space, Two admitted. We didn’t do well to hide what we were feeling.
“You managed it fairly well,” Red said.
He was gracious, Ri said back. He let things slide.
“Does that mean he’s a good Cerise?” Blue asked.
I don’t know, Ri said. Along with the way he’d treated them respectfully and with how he easily let them be, though, showed that he at least had tact. Whether he was someone Ri felt he could truly trust, Ri didn’t know yet.
At least we can explore by ourselves, Two said.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“He said there’ll be a lot of pokemon, though, right?” Red asked.
Ri figured so, but he hoped they’d be approachable compared to the humans. He and Two didn’t have nearly so many problems with pokemon as they did with people, so Ri hoped they could have a relaxing visit.
I guess so, he said.
“I wonder if any of them are the same as they were at my Cerise,” Blue wondered out loud.
It seems like we’ll find out, Two said.
They collected themselves and looked around. The park was familiar, with similar features and apparently a similar layout. It was uncanny visiting a place they knew from another world and for it to be so similar, and it was strange for this to be their home world and that they knew the place from another. It was the same place but there was a totally different context to it. A different time, different people, different pokemon, different associations. Blue had confronted his trainer in a nearby field, but even if it looked like the same field, it was different. It felt to Ri like they should be used to it, but he realized that they didn’t really visit places they knew on other worlds. Or, if they did, they weren’t nearly so similar.
“It’s weird to be back,” Blue said, vaguely summarizing everything Ri was feeling.
It’s not the same place, Two pointed out.
“But I know it,” Blue said.
He ran off – Ri nearly chastised him for it but he guessed this was practically Blue’s home turf, even if it wasn’t the same place. He just followed, happy at least that he could sense so he didn’t have to look for Blue, and Two and Red followed close behind. He stopped in the nearby grassy area; it was a small, gentle field which seemed like a great place to laze around. Ri saw a few pokemon laying comfortably in it, but while they caught the lazing pokemons’ attention Blue was commanding Ri and Two’s and Red’s.
“Ash and I trained Aura Sphere here,” Blue said. “That rock –” he gestured off in the distance to a large rock sitting on top of a short cliff – “I broke it. That was before you taught me better.” He ran off again, leaving Ri, Two and Red to follow after him again. He stopped in front of a tree in the nearby forest area. It was calm, Ri knew from the other Cerise Park, but it wasn’t like Viridian Forest.
“I trained Force Palm against this tree,” he said. “It hurt but at least Ash didn’t make me keep doing it until I bled.” There was a touch of spite in his voice; Ri guessed Blue’s opinion of Ash soured since they separated. Ri didn’t blame Blue, and he wondered why Ash had Blue use Force Palm on a tree of all things. Blue ran off once more before Ri and the others could really catch up, though. It was becoming too much but nobody was really going to stop him; it was clear he needed to go through this stuff. He stopped in the rock-type area, a kind of dusty waste which didn’t seem pleasant to Ri but he supposed it was nice enough.
“When we weren’t training and Ash was out, I liked staying here,” Blue said. “Cubone was my friend, we play-battled when we got restless from wanting to go out on adventures. Or, we’d sit and watch other pokemon train themselves.”
“And… Mrs. Ketchum’s,” Blue remembered. “She always felt nearby, I sometimes wondered what the Mewtwo were doing.”
Blue finally settled down, slumping onto the ground on his backside. Ri sensed memories rushing through his mind – everything, at least, that wasn’t tainted by his falling out with Ash. There were things he missed, Ri sensed – things he’d practically forgotten about in the fallout with his trainer. Ri understood how he nearly forgot about those things trying to escape the situation with Ash.
“This was my home,” he said. “Now…”
It’s not your home, Two said.
“I know,” Blue emphasized, sounding frustrated. Two seemed upset; Ri understood why. It was important Blue recognized this place wasn’t his. Ri glanced at his mate, trying his best to communicate, nonverbally, let him go through it while still being supportive.
OK, Two said, sounding a bit discouraged and hurt. Ri felt bad for him; he’d mentioned it because he cared but Blue had dismissed it.
“I didn’t think I’d miss it,” Blue finally admitted. Ri glanced at Two again; he didn’t seem so willing to help anymore but they sat down beside Blue together in an attempt to be supportive.
It was good you were able to remove yourself from it, Ri said.
“I don’t think I regret it,” Blue said, “but I didn’t know I’d miss anything, either.”
“It’s like that,” Red said, sitting down on Blue’s other side. “The things we do aren’t always totally good or totally bad. Usually they’re a bit of both.”
Ri knew what Red was saying, but he watched Blue consider it and figure it out and guess.
“Do you miss anything about being human?” Blue asked. Ri sensed Red hesitate; clearly he didn’t really want to talk about it at the moment.
“It’s complicated,” Red said, deflecting rather coldly.
“Like how it feels for me,” Blue said.
They sat for a little while just thinking. Ri sensed how Two felt; Two was still hurting. Ri knew how it was: Two was trying not to beat himself up for trying to be open to Blue. Blue had hurt him… Ri felt bad that he’d put himself out there to be burned by a friend. It was discouraging, Ri saw, and he watched the walls Two was trying to bring down go back up. The cold Two returned; Ri wasn’t upset at Blue for being upset but he was sad that Two was hurt and he didn’t want Two to be hurt for trying to show care. It was a complicated situation: Ri understood that Two wanted to make sure Blue didn’t get caught up and mistreat a place that wasn’t his, but Blue needed to process things that came upon him suddenly, too. Signals got mixed up, and Blue took Two warning him to be thoughtful as an assertion he wasn’t allowed to remember the things he did in his version of the lab. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, Ri thought, it was just a misunderstanding and a miscommunication. Two could’ve been more careful, Ri supposed, but Blue could’ve been more understanding, too. He just wanted Two to feel better.
At the same time, Blue was thinking, too, considering everything that was going on from his perspective. He processed, and settled down from his sudden outburst.
Eventually, Ri perked up from watching his poor mate as he noticed Blue preparing to say something.
“Two… I think I understand what you were trying to say. I can’t treat this place like it’s mine. It’s not.” Blue sighed. “I’m sorry I snapped before.”
Two didn’t say anything; Ri saw how he was still slightly in shock from it. He’d closed up… Ri knew it would take him a little while to let go again.
… It matters he realized, Two said to Ri privately. Even then, they both knew, they couldn’t really keep what they thought from Blue. I recognize what I am, I am in no position to hold a grudge for Blue doing the same.
Ri understood what Two was saying. If Two himself was quick to snap, he had to understand if others snapped back. Ri appreciated Two managing to come to that conclusion; it was really important. It meant Two was being open – at least as open as he could push himself to manage. At the same time – Ri recognized Blue deserved to hear it too.
Maybe… tell him, Ri suggested. It was a little scary saying it, but he wanted to help Two, and part of that, was, he understood, prompting his mate to push himself. I think he would understand, he supplied, trying to get across that he didn’t think he was trying to make Two do something that would end up hurting him. He sensed Two think about it, then he sensed Two muster himself to do it.
OK, he said. Then –
I’m not in a position to hold a grudge, he said weakly out loud.
“I understand,” Blue said. “Thank you for trying to help, I am sorry I didn’t take it well before.”
Two glanced at Ri; Ri nodded at him slightly to let him know everything was alright. He could accept it and let it go without having to push himself further. Ri nuzzled against Two once but he let off and sat back; they were there together for Blue at the moment. Two seemed reassured, at least. He was still out of it because of what happened, but at least he allowed himself to hurt now he knew that Blue understood and had acknowledged the effort he’d made and the help he offered.
“We can see the rest of the place,” Blue offered, “I won’t run off again.”
OK, Ri said. He appreciated it; they could roam around normally rather than being pulled along by Blue’s nostalgia train. He could pay attention to Two again, and he felt that having a bit of quiet might be helpful to his mate. At least – something to distract him from his interaction with Blue and help him settle down so he could maybe open up again. Ri nudged against him again; Two had gotten lost in thought about himself and who he was. Ri felt bad because this trip was meant to be a distraction from that stuff. It was meant to be a little celebration of Two prompting himself to engage in this difficult stuff, not a way for them to engage it further.
I love you, Ri said, hoping to get Two out of the mood a little bit and reassure him. Two caught it quickly and it knocked him out of it a little bit; he made eye contact with Ri and became present again.
I love you too, Two said softly. Ri was happy he seemed to appreciate the sentiment. I… can’t let it get to me, he continued, more in his usual way but still being open toward his mate. I have to forgive it, just…
It makes it harder to try to do it again in the future, Ri drew out. Two nodded, letting Ri know he was right. He’s our friend, but we still have to figure him out a little like we had to Red, Ri said.
And he has to get used to us too, Two continued. He sighed, thinking about stuff again. I hope it will not be so painful learning how to interact with the public, Two said.
I hope so too, Ri agreed. It was a daunting task; it loomed in their minds even though they were just trying to have fun. We don’t have to think about it for a bit, at least, Ri suggested.
We will have to at some point, Two asserted.
But… not now, Ri nearly pleaded.
I don’t want to think about it now either, Two agreed. Ri considered: Two had just done a similar thing he’d done to what had bothered Blue: he’d tried to keep Ri ‘grounded’ by reminding him of realities when he was drifting from them. Ri didn’t mind because Ri understood and was able to push back without being hurtful; Ri guessed Blue didn’t understand before, so he pushed back in a way that was hurtful. It was unfortunate, but Ri hoped Two saw that he wasn’t necessarily wrong for pointing it out or trying to be helpful. Ri just understood that it might be a little while before Two could muster the strength to do something like it again. At least, Ri hoped he could manage to let it go and remain open with someone they cared about at least as a friend.
I’ll try, Two said, responding to his thoughts. I’ll try to open up again.
I understand, Ri said. It was partly on Blue, too, he knew, to show that he was receptive too. It just meant that Two wasn’t going to close up for the sake of closing up and stay that way. Ri appreciated it.
I guess we should get going, Two suggested. It’ll be fun to see our version of the park.
Yeah, Ri agreed. I guess we’ll see if any pokemon want to meet us.
I would like some quiet, Two admitted.
Me too, Ri said. I guess we’ll see what happens.
Yeah, Two agreed.
They got up finally, and Blue and Red noticed so they got up too. They looked around, wondering where to go first. The cave was nearby, and it felt kind of novel to visit, so they decided to take a look. As they entered it grew dark but it wasn’t a problem for any of them. It felt kind of strange, coming to see a place they could barely see, but Ri and Two and Blue could at least sense the pokemon that were around them. The rock types were rather surprised to see the strange pokemon of other types, but at the very least they were able to pass through without alarming anyone, which was refreshing for Two. He didn’t usually alarm anyone anymore when they visited Viridian Forest or other places, but some pokemon remembered when he was hostile and remained scared of him even now. Those pokemon were starting to die out, though, so the new pokemon they saw didn’t know who Two was. Ri knew it meant a lot to Two to not be immediately labelled when he was seen. That way – especially with how he was trying to grow now – he could show others the pokemon he was without being drowned out by the pokemon everyone presumed him to be. That meant a lot to him to feel like a ‘normal’ pokemon, which Ri understood was important. After all – he totally understood, with his past. Nobody on his world knew what he did as XD2. Sometimes it felt like he was pretending – hiding behind it to be seen as something he wasn’t – but he had to remind himself when that happened that he didn’t choose what he did as XD2 and that, even if he remembered it all, XD2 had done those things. It was sometimes hard to get his head around, but he was convinced that if XD2 didn’t remember who Ri was when he did those things, Ri couldn’t really say he did them even if he remembered doing them as XD2. XD2 was a murderer… Ri hated remembering the feeling of it. It had been devastating when Ri first ‘woke up’ after Two saved him from Cipher, but while it sometimes still hit him hard he’d generally learned to be OK, at least about that stuff in particular. It had consequences, though, alongside with how Cipher had degraded him to force him to do those things.
But Two – Two didn’t get the mercy of the pokemon around him not knowing who he was. Not at least until recently. Ri was happy he could get to enjoy it finally.
They moved on from the caves, and found what nearly amounted to a swamp. It fascinated Two how Cerise managed to fit so many biomes in a small area, but they weren’t too interested in getting their fur muddy, so they moved on quickly and carefully to a nearby lake, where they came across a few water type pokemon on its shore. The pokemon outside the cave were even less surprised by them than the cave pokemon were, leading Ri and Two to believe that these pokemon were used to visitors, even if they were pokemon. It was a relief to Ri and Two both, as it meant they didn’t have to engage with every pokemon who saw them. Blue was interested, though, so he engaged them a bit, asking about what it was like living in the park or about what Cerise did. They returned to the forest and found some bug types and grass types chilling in the cool shade as the sun was going down and filtering through the leaves. Ri appreciated it and it made him miss Veridian, but he let it go since he and Two could go visit their forest practically any time they wanted. Finally they visited the plains they’d started in, and noticed a few pokemon training together. Ri guessed they were some of the research associates’ pokemon, at least a couple that they hadn’t decided to bring along for the trip they were on. Ri sensed they missed going on the journey with their trainers, but he supposed at least they weren’t stuck in their pokeballs in some pokemon center somewhere waiting indefinitely for their trainer to pull them out again. These pokemon – a Marowak, a Lairon and an Axew – all seemed more interested in Ri and Two than the others did. They ended up engaging Ri and Two, asking them about how powerful they were, to which they tried to be modest and deflect without admitting how powerful especially Two was, or they asked what regions they came from since they didn’t recognize Lucario, Mewtwo, or two of them Zoroark. Marowak caught Two mentioning he was a Kanto pokemon, which Two was able to deflect by calling himself a rare one, but Ri saw how it didn’t make him happy being reminded that he was the only Mewtwo in existence. Aside from that, the pokemon invited them to train, which they all declined, then they went back to training with each other to pass the time. Two especially was feeling rather burnt out after even just that short encounter, so they backed off, found a quiet, private place to sit, and rested for a bit.
Walking around at first was a little shaky as Two was in a poor mood, but Ri was happy for him to settle down as they kept walking and as pokemon generally left them alone. He appreciated getting the chance to chill with his mate for a little while and have fun walking around a nice place without worrying about people. It was almost like visiting Viridian Forest, but faint queues told them it was artificial and when they looked up, the glass dome protecting the whole place made it obvious it was human-created. It was OK, though; it helped Blue feel a little more at home – within reason, Ri and Two both made sure to check – and it was restful enough for them all. Once they were resting, they relaxed even more, and they allowed themselves time to reflect on the day and prepare themselves for dinner, which they were all starting to look forward to finally. Ri was happy about everything they’d managed to do – they’d withstood Omar, watched Red battle and win a badge, explored Vermilion, and helped Blue feel a little more at home on their world. Ri tugged lightly at the bandanna around his neck – it felt a bit redundant but it reminded him of how close he was to Two, as being close to Two was the only reason he was wearing it. He thought it was cute and it lifted his mood a bit remembering that he and Two were managing a day out fairly well. It was fun, exploring new places with Two, at least when they were able to keep themselves in check. Ri hoped that, with practice, they’d be able to keep themselves in check more easily and that it would become automatic so they didn’t have to try at it so hard anymore. That was a long-term goal, though; something they needed to work on once they were more prepared for it. Instead, Ri glanced at his mate, and thought of how hard Two was working to grow. Ri knew how hard it was for him to consider his past, his place in the world, his identity, how he related to others, but he was facing it to be a better, healthier mate. Ri admired it and appreciated it, and it was motivating to him to reflect on himself, too. He knew he wasn’t a great mate either. Trying to brush aside the usual traps he found himself in, he articulated in his own mind carefully that he was in the same place – working hard to better himself. He had his own challenges to face: his inability to handle any push-back from anyone who wasn’t Two or a close friend, his tendency to trap himself in spirals without provocation or otherwise, his difficulty relating to humans. It was hard, it was all horribly difficult because his instinct to go those places was quicker and stronger than his ability to keep himself from them. They were part of his identity – the broken identity he’d fought back from Cipher – and it felt scary stripping away at them – at his very being, basically – to replace them with healthy behaviors. Ri understood that his trauma would never go away – that he would always be an abused pokemon – but the journey to healing over those scars – at least up until this point – was long, painful, and bad for the pokemon around him. He wanted to change that – to be better for Two and Red and Blue – but he saw more pain and hurt before he got there. It was scary, but… he wanted to be better.
He sighed; it was getting darker and he was starting to get hungry. He knew it was important to take the moment to rest, but he didn’t want to spend too long contemplating when he still wanted to do things with his mate and friends. He looked to Two again and this time managed to catch Two’s attention. Two smiled at him, and Ri smiled back; it always brightened his day to see Two happy. They kept looking at each other this time, sharing feelings of affection and closeness without having to be personal about it.
The bandanna actually looks pretty good on you, Two admitted. Ri looked to see the bandanna his mate was wearing; he hadn’t really noticed and had already almost forgotten it was there. It was tied around his neck in purple, accenting his second neck and eyes and tummy and tail. It emphasized his purple, breaking his head from his torso.
You do too, Ri reflected.
I’m still not sure how I like it, Two said. To emphasize it, he held it in his paw and turned his head a couple times, to exaggerate the feeling of it rubbing against his fur.
We don’t have to keep wearing them, Ri offered. I do like wearing it with you, though, he qualified.
I find it cute too, Two admitted. I find you cute anyway, though, I’d rather hug and cuddle and tease you to show it.
Ri understood, he preferred that too. It flustered him slightly, causing him to blush under his fur. He knew if he wasn’t careful, the situation would devolve into them doing something adorable together. It sounded amazing, but it was still relatively public… he figured they could leave the adorable stuff for later.
At least, we can wear them while we’re figuring out how to be comfortable with that stuff, Ri suggested in an effort to sideline himself and Two from getting too into it.
We can, Two agreed. Though I don’t know if others will presume that if Red and Blue are wearing them too.
It’s probably better that way, Ri said.
Probably so, Two agreed.
“Shouldn’t we find something to eat?” Blue suggested, breaking up the moment. It frustrated Ri for a moment, but he realized it was rather silly, so he let go of it. Instead, he remembered he was hungry and that he’d meant to suggest it before getting distracted by Two.
Sounds good, Ri agreed. Does anything stand out to anyone?
Not really, Two said.
“I’m fine with whatever,” Red offered. They watched as Blue considered.
“We haven’t had pizza in a little while,” he suggested. “It was a lot of fun when we had it last.”
It sounded like a good idea to Ri, but what he saw Blue was thinking was a ‘casual’ sort of pizza meal like the sort where they bought pies to-go and ate them chilling together at some table outside. It was still a celebration, so Ri glanced again at Two. They agreed: they could show Blue that pizza could be a ‘serious’ thing, too. They got excited about it pretty quickly; it felt great being excited about it.
“What are you guys thinking?” Blue challenged un-seriously.
Pizza, Ri explained non-helpfully. We’ll find a place.
Ri and Two shifted close to take a look, and Ri pulled out his phone to do some research. They looked for a nice, pokemon-friendly place, and were happy to find one in the city that reviewed well. It was a little far away, but Ri supposed it was a chance to see more of the city. It had more than just pizza, too, so it was sure to have food for all of them if for any reason some of them decided they weren’t up for pizza. It was great to be excited about it; Ri looked up from his phone at Red and Blue both looking at them in a vague sense of worry over seeing the two of them ‘gremlin-ing’ together.
We have a place, Ri said.
“Is it good?” Red asked.
Should be, Two replied.
“At least you guys seem excited about it,” Blue decided.
It’s nice to feel, Ri admitted.
It is, Two agreed.
Red and Blue glanced at each other; Ri was happy at least that they trusted that they wouldn’t gremlin over being too mean to their friends. Ri just supposed he and Two were being gay; he could let it be OK for it to be a little awkward for Red and Blue as long as long as they weren’t too uncomfortable.
“Are we ready to go then?” Red asked.
Yeah, Ri said.
I think so, Two agreed. Blue hung, though, for a moment.
“It’s going to be weird leaving again,” he said. “I remembered a lot about my old life… it’s weird thinking I can’t have that anymore.”
Ri understood. He understood totally. He sensed what his mate felt: Two had something to say but given what happened before he decided it was better just to leave it be. He seemed a bit discouraged because of it, but he didn’t seem too bad. Ri knew he was looking forward to dinner, at least. Ri tried to acknowledge it, though, which Two seemed to appreciate. Two got up, and held his paw out and pulled Ri up and hugged him. It was sudden, but Ri didn’t mind. It was nice, for Two to do something spontaneous like that. Ri nuzzled against his mate and they let go as Red and Blue prepared themselves. They walked back to the doors to the park, remembering unhappily that they had to deal with Cerise. At the very least, Cerise had shown himself to be approachable, if not yet trustworthy. They could deal with it. Ri rung the bell as asked, and unfortunately it was one of Cerise’s assistants who came. At the very least – Ri and Two could sense them coming so they weren’t disappointed and surprised when it wasn’t Cerise.
“Oh, hello!” said the assistant, “A – Mewtwo and a purple Lucario, you must be Two and Ri,” he continued. “Did you need something?”
We’re ready to go, Ri said shortly. The assistant sounded scared of Two; Ri assumed he’d heard of how powerful Two was from Cerise but Cerise didn’t get across that Two wasn’t scary. Ri wished Cerise could’ve been more careful, but at the same time he guessed that if all the assistant heard was “big scary cat who can murder you easily” then… that was all he was going to hear even if Cerise had been careful to mention that Two wasn’t a bad pokemon.
“Alright,” the assistant said shortly. He stepped aside to let them all through. “I hope you enjoyed your stay,” he said awkwardly, betraying his understanding of Two.
It’s a nice place, Ri said, it’s impressive how you manage to keep so many biomes close together.
He said that for Two; Ri figured Two would appreciate Cerise knowing he admired the place.
“It takes a lot of care and upkeep,” said the assistant. “You can go on your way, I’ll let Cerise know you left.”
Thanks, Ri said.
“Do you remember your way?” they asked.
Yes, Ri said.
“Then, good luck on your journeys!”
–Thanks, Ri said awkwardly. At least – that was it, and they were able to go. They navigated the place and went out the front door, then Ri immediately set to leading everyone to the pizza parlor. Now that it was getting later, the traffic died down a little more but Ri finally realized that it was that sort of city: there were always going to be tons of people around. Ri felt that if he and Two and Red and Blue felt it was a good dinnertime, everyone else probably thought the same, too. Ri hoped that it wouldn’t make it hard for them to get seats at the restaurant they were eating at. He was excited for it as they walked down the streets; from what Ri and Two saw of it it wasn’t as romantic or quiet as the places they liked the most back home, but it still had a nice aesthetic, so it would be interesting just to go and see the place. Ri hoped the food would be good, too, and was looking forward to sharing some pizza with his mate now that Blue had mentioned it. And – if he could somehow get away with it again – he wondered if he could try some of the alcohol they offered. It had a bar, so Ri was rather interested in how they used it. It was part of why Two had suggested it, so he hoped that they could see it without being noticed.
Ri – pay attention, Two admonished. Ri’s ears went back in shame/embarrassment; he hadn’t realized he was getting distracted, and he saw that he’d nearly led his mate and friends the wrong way. He stopped for a moment and reoriented himself, and started back off the right direction. They were rather close; Ri was ready to be done with navigating and finally get to the stuff he wanted to do with Two.
… Sorry, he said ashamedly.
It’s fine, Two said, you’re lucky you have me to sense when we’re starting to go the wrong way.
Yeah, Ri said. Thanks. He knew Two wasn’t being serious – that Two wasn’t really bothered by him getting distracted. It mattered to him, though, so it meant a lot Two was being forgiving to him.
It was good we visited the lab, Two said as they made their way. Ri saw he meant to supply something to make the walk easier; Ri hoped he could be engaged without getting too distracted again, and tried to discipline himself to keep on track while talking.
“I appreciate it,” Blue said, “it meant a lot to me to be able to see it.”
“It was fun,” Red commented.
Cerise was pretty similar, Ri said, trying to participate without getting distracted again. It was harder than he wanted it to be, but he tried anyway because he wanted to talk and knew Two was supplying it to help him too – to engage him in something that was easier for him to participate in that wouldn’t bring him to get lost in his own thoughts.
He saw through us like Blue’s did, Two commented. I’m pretty sure he knows what you are.
The thought of it shook Ri; he didn’t like being identified as an XD pokemon, and he really didn’t like Cerise knowing what Cipher was. He hadn’t thought Cipher existed on his world; he realized with terror that if Cerise had correctly identified him Cipher did exist. It distracted him a little too much, he stopped in his tracks to process it.
I’m sorry, Two cried rushedly, coming up to Ri to help him. Ri felt himself starting to shake; he couldn’t really control it but Two hugged him close. It helped him feel better; it reminded him Two was with him and that Two would keep him safe. Two wouldn’t let Cipher take him again. It didn’t stop him from panicking though; he and Two had searched carefully for traces of Cipher, and felt safe presuming they didn’t exist since they hadn’t been able to find any proof they did exist. The thought of Cerise knowing about Cipher meant that they did exist, though, which Ri couldn’t handle.
We don’t know if he identified you as a Cipher pokemon or just guessed that you were abused, Two consoled. Ri felt Two’s paw on his head, petting him; he realized delayed that he was making Two be rather more intimate with him than he was comfortable.
… Two, he managed to say weakly.
Don’t worry about it, Two said, I’d rather cover you than let them see you like this.
Ri tried to swallow deep, push down his mental breakdown and master it.
I didn’t think mentioning it would trigger you, Two admitted, I’m sorry.
I –
Ri didn’t blame Two at all; he hoped Two could see that. He tried not to blame himself either; he understood that he wasn’t to blame for being forced to be this way. He did know, however, that it was his responsibility to learn to master it.
“Guys, you should at least get out of the way of traffic,” Red called. It was more to Two than to Ri; Ri didn’t really hear but he noticed Two dragging him off to a quieter alley where he could break down in relative privacy.
Let it out, Two said, sitting back against the alley wall and bringing Ri down to lie on top of him. It’s better not to bottle it up… we’ve learned that. Two pulled Ri close, hugging him near to comfort him.
Ri let it go, he cried out, letting himself experience his panic in full. There was nothing he could do about it – nothing he could do to control it. He didn’t feel safe; he didn’t feel OK. He lied on top of his mate, clutching against him against the flashbacks and the panic of being targeted by Cipher again. His body went into fight/flight mode against his better judgment knowing that he and Two hadn’t found Cipher anywhere on their world, and he shook in his mate’s clutch. He pressed himself against Two for support, retreating to his mates soft, tender care to remind him that he was safe.
Eventually – 10, 15, 20 minutes later, Ri didn’t know – he started to calm down again. As his tears dried against the fur of Two’s chest, he realized he was safe and saw reason a little more clearly. Two was right: they didn’t know for certain that Cerise knew exactly what Ri’s origins were. Cipher specifically was a far-away threat: Ri realized he had to worry much more about poachers and Rocket, if it still existed, than his old abusers. Once the shock of the matter passed, he realized that knowing if Cipher existed or not didn’t really change his and Two’s situation. This Cipher wasn’t his Cipher; Ri tried to rationalize that they wouldn’t target him since they weren’t the ones who abused him in the first place. But – lingering in the back of his mind was the simple fact that if Cerise recognized him as a Cipher pokemon… Cipher would, too, and they’d know they hadn’t captured him either. Ri shuddered in his mate’s embrace at the thought.
We decided Cipher doesn’t exist, Two reminded Ri. You know them better than anyone else; we searched for days and found nothing, even when I convinced you to let me fly you there to find their secret bases.
Ri understood; it was just one of the few fundamental ‘pillars’ which made him feel safe and comfortable on his world. As he knew he just demonstrated, he couldn’t handle any of them being challenged, and what they sensed and heard from Cerise did just that.
As it was – Ri was exhausted. He calmed down, loosened up, and lay limp and weak in Two’s arms. Two was still petting him; Ri was able to enjoy it now that he was a bit calmer again. He was discouraged, though; it had been a long time since he last experienced something like that. All from… someone recognizing him as an abused pokemon. It should’ve been a good thing, Ri should’ve appreciated Cerise understanding his past and being able to treat him respectfully because of it. But no, he panicked. It didn’t feel good, if he wanted to be able to interact with people he had to be able to react positively when people treated them well. He couldn’t even do that. It made him feel miserable; he didn’t want to be that way anymore.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, Two softly admonished. The continued pets encouraged Ri; Two was there for him still. You worked yourself out of it.
Yeah but I’m exhausted now, Ri said back. I just want to…
Ri curled up as well as he could. It interrupted Two petting his head but soon he felt Two rubbing his side instead – as close to his stomach as Two could get since Ri was curling up protecting it.
Ri sensed Two think. He didn’t really pay attention, but Two interacted with Red and Blue, then paid attention back to Ri.
Do you want to go home? Two asked.
Home… home sounded nice. Safe, comfortable, familiar, hidden away. Ri wanted to not have to deal with things anymore, he just wanted to rest. At the same time, though – he remembered they were having fun. He had been interested in the pizza place they were about to visit; he didn’t want to give up on it and ruin the fun they were having.
… Pizza, he managed to say, pitifully.
… Don’t push yourself too hard, Two suggested, sensing Ri’s state carefully. We can go home and still come back out for pizza later when you’re feeling better.
Ri considered it; he felt he had to take Two’s suggestion. He felt out of it; he needed time to recover. He mostly didn’t want to give up on their day out, but – it didn’t feel like that, if they were going to come back out again. It was an out, but it wasn’t a failure yet. He felt like he needed out.
It’s OK? Ri asked.
Of course, Two said.
“We understand,” Red said. “Anyway – if we come back later, it’ll probably be less busy.”
Hopefully so, Ri agreed. When… does it close?
Two unfortunately stopped petting him and hugging him so close to check, but at least he was able to respond.
Late, Two said. We can chill for several hours before we come back.
Good, Ri said. I want to go home.
OK, Two said.
In a flash, they were sitting in their living room against their couch. It was sudden, but it was immediately welcome. Two pulled Ri up, sat on the couch, prompted Ri to turn around, then lied down with him and hugged him close; it felt good to be home, safe, and comfortable in Two’s embrace.
Two… Ri said, realizing he was putting Two in a supporting role again.
Don’t worry about it, Two said, you’re my mate.
But –
Ri, Two warned. That was: Ri had to let it go. He accepted it; it reminded him he just had to… grow stronger.
You’re better, Two said more softly. I appreciate you caring for me.
You shouldn’t have to –
But Ri arrested himself this time. Instead:
It’s just as implicit from me, Ri said.
I know, Two said softly, squeezing him and bunting the back of his head. I remembered it was before, that was why I was willing to push through until you remembered too.
I remember now, Ri said. He took comfort in it; Two said he’d trusted that Ri cared and understood that Ri wasn’t in a ‘normal’ situation. He still thought it took too long for him to realize, but the way Two framed it was that Ri wasn’t ‘right’ enough yet to figure it out. Figuring it out helped assure Ri that he was getting better, and he was happy to have returned to the pokemon he was enough to start being fulfilling for Two again. He wanted to be that; he supposed that, as long as at other times he could manage it, it was OK to need to rely on Two sometimes, too. It comforted him; he snuggled into Two thankful for his forgiving patience and help.
I love you, Two reassured him.
I love you too, Ri said back. It was comforting; it helped Ri calm down and let go. The whole situation left him dull and lethargic; he lied with Two barely thinking and just… resting from the intense emotions he’d just felt. It had been overwhelming; Ri appreciated the time to process it. It was just how it was: either they’d have to accept there was a possibility of Cipher existing on their world or they’d have to go back to Cerise and make him tell them whether or not Cipher existed. Ri tried to apply some of Two’s reason: the likelihood was that Cerise just saw Ri’s color and the brand on his arm and concluded that he was experimented on was higher than the likelihood Cerise recognized Cipher’s specific branding. And, Ri knew he and Two weren’t the best at relating to humans; if Cerise had experience with other abused pokemon, Ri tried to convince himself Cerise would recognize similar behavior in them, too. The existence of the chance that Cerise had recognized Ri was a Cipher pokemon had alarmed him before, but now that he was settled a little more he realized it was a low chance, at least compared to the other likelihoods there were. He sighed, and tried to let it go.
Instead of worrying about it, he tried to rest and prepare himself to go out again. He sensed his mate thinking behind him; he was happy Two didn’t feel he had to pay close attention to him. Two was thinking about their day so far; Ri was happy he seemed to be happy too.
Today has been good so far, Two commented, at least… Ri knew he didn’t have to mention it.
Yeah, Ri agreed. We were having a lot of fun.
It was a little discouraging thinking about, Ri caught himself and amended himself.
I hope we’ll keep having fun.
I do too, Two said. Two seemed to appreciate the sentiment; Ri was happy he’d caught himself. It’ll be nice if the pizza place is a bit less busy.
Yeah, Ri agreed. If he and Two could manage to be a little more open because there were fewer people – Ri wouldn’t say it was good he broke down but at the very least something good could come out of it.
I’m sorry I broke down, Ri said, his mind still consumed by it even though he was trying to distract himself. Two nuzzled against him to comfort him; Ri was thankful for his amazing mate.
I know that it’s going to be like this sometimes, Two said. I know that I still have to be available to help you. I’m excited and… scared – he admitted, losing for a moment a bit of the supporting tone he’d adopted – to learn about myself and make my place, and I’m thankful you’re here to help me, but I know that you need my help sometimes, too. That’s how it is, Two said, I trust that you will learn to handle it yourself. Until then, I’m here for you. Even if you do learn, I’m here for you anyway.
Thank you, Ri said. It meant a lot to him; it helped him feel a lot better.
You… rarely clutch at me like that anyway, Two carefully teased.
Two… Ri said. He supposed it was good Two was able to tease about it – it didn’t bother his mate much, then – but it bothered him a bit.
Sorry, Two said, squeezing him a bit. It was a little too personal; that was… impressive, since Ri was so comfortable with Two.
You get cuddles whenever you want, Ri teased back, explaining why Two had bothered him.
I know, Two said, turning over and letting Ri fall on his back so he was lying on top of Ri. Ri was suddenly looking into his mate’s eyes; Two rarely did anything like this, and it left Ri smitten and flustered at the gesture. Two smiled, knowing what he was doing, and he bunted right against Ri’s muzzle as a sign of affection. All to playfully assert what Ri had suggested.
I should be careful, Two admitted, I don’t want to start anything.
Me neither, Ri agreed. I don’t think Red or Blue would appreciate it either.
Ri finally thought to pay attention to Red and Blue. From what he sensed, they’d found things to distract themselves while Ri was recuperating, but Two’d caught their attention and alarmed them and now they were watching uncomfortably.
You’re an adorable Lucario, Two teased him further, aware himself of the situation.
I’m your adorable Lucario, Ri corrected. Two seemed to appreciate it and smiled thinking about it; Ri knew he liked it, at least when they were into it – but Two backed off, resting his head under Ri’s and relaxing from his, frankly, dominant stance.
I’m yours, Two said back.
I know, Ri said comfortingly, pulling his arms from under Two to hug him.
Ri enjoyed being under Two – it was intensely intimate, feeling Two’s body on top of his. Ri supposed it was the same for Two when Ri lied on top of him, but – the other way around. Two had suggested he belonged to Ri, but – it was really the other way around. Ri belonged to Two, and in return Two handed Ri his own insecurities and all the stuff he had difficulty sharing with others. Strictly, as mates, they belonged to each other, but Ri knew and appreciated the power dynamic between them. He was happy being Two’s – especially since Two didn’t hold it over him and respected him and his autonomy. Two didn’t really want to control Ri – he wanted to empower Ri, and Ri appreciated it deeply. Ri wanted to return it – he wanted to empower Two, too. Two never really exercised or took advantage of Ri considering himself ‘belonging’ to him; Two was fulfilled simply by having a mate he could love, care for, and sometimes push around a bit.
I should’ve stayed the other way, Two admitted. Sorry.
It’s fine, I’m not complaining, Ri teased. Ri knew how it was; that was a dynamic they engaged in sometimes, but not all the time. Ri enjoyed when Two got that way – but it was nice they weren’t always like that, too. You’re adorable too, he said, getting back at his mate and making him be the one that was flustered. It is good we backed down though, he admitted; Red and Blue settled down again when Two relaxed and Ri hugged him.
Hmm – you’re the one being squashed, Two retaliated.
You don’t get to tease me like that when I’m the one on top of you and when you’re on top, Ri mock-complained.
I get to tease you no matter what~
…
It was hard for Ri to counter; Two was right.
I can tease back, at least, Ri said.
And I have to be careful, Two said, in light of how he’d tried teasing Ri before and nearly hurt him.
You are, Ri said. That’s why it’s easy for me to take.
I appreciate you being able to take the teasing, Two said, nuzzling under Ri’s muzzle and into his neck.
I appreciate you finding me cute enough to tease, Ri admitted.
It’s not my fault you’re teasable, Two said. It flustered Ri again, but in a subtle way; it didn’t really stop him from functioning like it nearly had before. There wasn’t really anything he could say about that, either.
You enable me to care and open up enough to be able to tease, Two admitted, more seriously. I seriously appreciate it.
Ri sighed; he guessed cute time was over.
I appreciate you opening up for me, Ri said back.
You’re my mate, Two said. Ri didn’t really need any explanation; he knew what it meant from Two.
You’re mine, Ri said back.
Yes, I am, Two agreed, confirming what it meant. Their mateship was a promise; it was a commitment to each other. They’d chosen each other; it was why Ri felt bad failing his mate and why he appreciated Two sticking with him and why he stuck with Two. He cared about Two; that wasn’t something he simply felt it was a choice he made. It was the same from Two back; Ri felt comfortable giving himself to Two entirely because Two promised to take care of him. Two was upholding his part of the deal; he’d been forgiving of Ri for years on his part. It was why it meant so much to Ri to enable his mate – and for Two to recognize that Ri was able to enable him again. He sighed again, enjoying the closeness his mate offered him by lying on top of him. He liked lying on Two, but who was on top didn’t really determine how they drew from each other; he felt protected and safe whether he was on top of or under or next to Two. He was happy to stay like that for a little while, drawing nearer with Two to being ‘OK.’
We needed this, Two suggested, regardless of… or not.
Ri knew what he meant; they’d pent up the affection they’d felt all day since they were in public.
Yeah, he agreed. It feels nice.
Yeah, Two agreed back, it does. It’ll be a little easier once we go out again.
Probably, Ri said. In any case, I’m feeling better.
That’s good~
Ri took the liberty to rub Two’s back; Two seemed to appreciate it, but he didn’t seem to be into the rubs as much as Ri was. Ri knew he loved bunting, though; it was intimate and affectionate for him just to put his face under Ri’s neck like he was. He seemed happy to let it be that way, for a good little while. It was nice to lie with Two for a bit, simply enjoying each other’s presence and intimacy. It was nice when it didn’t have to be because one of them was hurting.
“Are you guys – OK?” Red finally asked, breaking the silence after Ri and Two stopped being noticeably active.
Yeah, Ri said, with relative ease. I’m feeling better.
“That’s – good,” Red said awkwardly. “What’s with –”
Teasing, Two explained. Then it…
Ri saw Two was embarrassed; it was a rather rare moment.
Two needs cuddles sometimes too, Ri explained. Ri saw how it embarrassed Two, but Two didn’t really object because, in the end it was strictly true.
“It’s good to see you’re both doing better,” Blue said.
“I guess you’re wasting time so it’s a bit later when we go back,” Red guessed.
We needed the cuddles, Two said, adding context to what Ri’d said teasingly before. But yes, we want it to be later.
“You seemed to be enjoying yourselves,” Blue said.
We were~ Ri replied.
Ri had to admit; he felt a lot better. The maintenance cuddles helped, but the teasing afterward helped a lot more. It was fulfilling, doing stuff like that with Two; Ri was happy they were able to manage to spend a bit of time having open, unabashed fun like that.
“We were worried for a moment that –”
Red didn’t really need to go further; Ri and Two both got the point.
That’s why we backed down, Ri explained. We didn’t want to go too far with it.
“We appreciate it,” Blue said.
It was better anyway, Two said. It’s nice just chilling.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
Do you feel ready for pizza? Two asked. The mention brought Ri’s stomach to his mind; he’d been hungry before when they first thought of it, so he was pretty desperate for food now. And now – he felt ready to approach the world again. It was encouraging.
Yeah, he said. You?
Yeah, Two said.
We’re ready for pizza if you guys are, Ri said.
“I’m starving,” Red said.
“I was excited for it since we came back,” Blue admitted. Put that way – Ri realized he and Two had been taxing on their friends. He appreciated the bit of time he spent with Two and recognized that they both needed it, but Red and Blue suffered because of it. He didn’t regret spending the time he needed with Two, but he did regret it being difficult on their friends.
“It’s fine,” Red caught, “we knew you needed the time. It’ll be more fun now that you’re both feeling better.”
Ri glanced down at Two and caught his eyes. He saw they both appreciated it.
We appreciate it, Ri said, looking back to Red.
“Let’s go then,” Blue suggested, “I want to see whatever it was you were going to show us!”
Ri felt bad they’d made them wait, but at least everyone was still excited. He was thankful, as Two got off him, that they seemed to understand and be forgiving. It made it easier for him to look forward to it again. He got up beside his mate, and before too long, Two teleported them back to the alley they’d hidden in. It made Ri think back to the moment, but… he was at least able to reflect over it without going under again, even if it was sobering. He’d broken down in the middle of the street, and Two came and hugged him close. He hoped people didn’t see, but… there was no way people didn’t see. It sickened Ri to think about; it felt exposing both to him and his mate. He looked to Two as they got their bearings, and Two noticed the sudden shift in mood he felt.
We’ll deal with it if it ends up we have to, Two suggested. I don’t regret helping you when you needed it.
Thank you, Ri said. I hope we got away with it.
“That’s why I tried pointing it out,” Red said.
Ri looked around; it seemed like they should’ve gotten away unnoticed in the alley but Ri didn’t know. He was preoccupied, after all.
Were we noticed? Ri asked.
“Some people noticed you on the road,” Blue said, “but they only noticed me and Red when we were in the alley. I don’t think anybody saw you lying here, just us watching over you.”
Ri sighed in relief; at the very least nobody saw him collapse.
Thank you for taking care of us, Two said awkwardly.
“Of course,” Red said.
“Yeah,” Blue mirrored.
Ri saw how the ease with which Red and Blue helped Ri and Two assured Two; he remembered the awkward moment they’d had before where Blue snapped at Two. He saw it was difficult for Two to mention, but he saw Two cared, and he saw that Two recognized it was important to express. Ri noticed and appreciated Two trying. In turn, Two noticed back, and smiled a bit, apparently thankful. Ri smiled in return; it was nice to see Two be a little more sure of himself.
Once they had their bearings, they emerged back out into the street. It was strange, Ri knew, for them to appear suddenly, but he hoped it was better than teleporting straight into a crowd of people. He sighed, sensing the public once again, preparing himself to engage in it again after his breakdown. It was weird, but he was thankful he managed to pull himself back together again. He didn’t quite remember where the pizza place was, so he looked it up again and led Two, Red, and Blue the final couple blocks. They kept quiet this time, in anticipation of a good meal. The crowd around them hadn’t really diminished, however, so Ri wondered if they would really get to have some quiet and privacy in the pizzeria or not. When they finally arrived, they paused in front of the place to take it in. They had been anticipating it for hours; it was a little nerve-racking to finally see it. Ri hoped it was good, because he and Two had chosen it given Blue’s suggestion, and he wanted a pay-off after breaking down and managing to pull himself together. It looked clean and modern, and it used simple shapes for its pizza-themed logo. Ri and Two usually liked more traditional-styled places, so Ri hoped that visiting this new place would give Blue a bit more context what human restaurants could be like. And – still – he was happy to feel interested in the bar he expected to find inside. He figured he and Two could approach it once they’d all eaten. He sensed people inside, but while it wasn’t as empty as they hoped, it wasn’t nearly as full as they worried it was going to be, either. Ri supposed it was the best they could expect from a city.
It seems like we should be OK, he commented.
Yeah, Two agreed, it isn’t too busy.
Red and Blue didn’t mention it, but Ri sensed: they thought it ended up being good they waited, too. Ri appreciated they didn’t say anything, though. He sighed in an attempt to shake off the awkward feeling, and led his mate and friends in.
The place was lively; Ri realized as he witnessed it that it was comforting and meant the place was well-liked. He came straight into a little waiting area with seats lining the walls – and remembered the last time he and Two ended up waiting for a table – but he hoped that they wouldn’t have to wait this time. The hostess stood right there and noticed them immediately as they collected in front of her.
“All – pokemon?” she asked, awkwardly.
… Yeah, Ri said.
“4?”
Yeah, Ri said more easily.
“Our menus are digital –”
We can handle it, Ri said. For once he didn’t feel insulted by it; he understood it was unlikely for a pokemon to be able to handle digital menus and stuff like that. Ri had his phone, though, and he held it up to show they were able to read the menus or whatever else the store expected them to be able to do.
“Alright, follow me,” said the host, turning and getting them placemats and bundles of silverware. Ri followed behind her leading the others on, and she luckily brought them to a booth where they could have some privacy. Ri easily sat on the inside, and Two sat beside him. Protected – Ri was most comfortable this way, at least in public. As they all sat down – Ri noticed Blue decided to sit across from him – the hostess placed their mats and bundles in front of them. He noticed the paper flyer with a QR code printed on it pretty quickly, but the hostess pointed it out to them anyway, letting them know they could scan it and see the menu. Telling them a waiter would appear for them soon, she left them to figure it out themselves. It was rather novel, Ri felt, as he scanned the code with his phone and it took him to the restaurant’s website, but it was a little inconvenient since they had to pass around the one phone. It was alright, though, Ri placed it on the table between him and Two so they could look at it together. It had all sorts of specialty pizzas of different styles – which Ri was sure Blue would be happy about – but it had build-your-own pizzas and calzones and other ‘standard’ things too, along with a list of chef’s special entrees which, unfortunately, generally weren’t pokemon-friendly. Pizza was perfectly agreeable for pokemon to eat, though, so it was mostly what Ri and Two looked at. They scanned through the specialty pizzas, and came across all sorts of inventions from Doduo-parm to pinap pizza to pizza with fries on it. Some of it interested them, but a lot of it had meats that, even if they could understand that the pokemon they came from somehow weren’t as aware as they were, they still couldn’t stomach if it was too clear that they were eating another pokemon. They tended to keep to the vegetarian options, but at least with human menus that seemed to imply that they should be ‘healthy,’ which none of them specifically cared for. They just wanted good, well-made, tasty pizza so they ended up with plain pizza topped with a topping or two they both liked, and they handed their phone off to Red and Blue so they could look at it while they considered what they wanted to drink.
“There’s a lot on this menu,” Blue commented, “They don’t serve just pizza.”
That’s part of why we chose it, Ri explained. It’s a proper restaurant.
“I didn’t expect to be sitting down here either,” Blue admitted. He paused from looking at the menu to look up and around the place. Ri looked around too, realizing he hadn’t bothered to yet. It was rather well lit but it wasn’t harsh, and the tables were all dark marble with dark red fake-leather seats. It wasn’t like real leather but the booths Ri and Two were sitting in were plush enough to be comfortable. The decoration was clean and modern, dark but with accents to keep it from being gloomy. Ri appreciated it; it was refreshing without being too bright. The defining feature was the use of contrast which made the place feel modern, that and the tendency to use sharp, defined edges and curves instead of the frills and gradients the more ‘refined’ places liked to use. Ri saw the bar on the other side of the restaurant, taking up half the width of the room making it a little tight for people to walk by on the other side. A few people were seated at it but Ri guessed it wasn’t a hugely popular place to drink. It made him wonder if it would make it easier or harder for him to get away with trying a cocktail or two. The place seemed set up, though, with gadgets and tools which Ri was sure made the job of making drinks a lot easier.
“It’s a nice looking place,” Red said. “It’s not like your usual choices.”
No it’s not, Two said, we wanted to try something different.
“It’s refreshing,” Red admitted.
It… kind of is, Ri agreed.
“I noticed the bar,” Red pressed. Ri glanced at him embarrassed; he knew it was obvious but it was still embarrassing to be so easily read by Red. “Just don’t press them too hard to let you try something.”
We won’t, Ri assured him.
We’ll only take a look later, Two added on, we want to eat first.
“Sounds good,” Blue said. Ri noticed him pay attention back to the menu, and he glanced at his mate, finding comfort in Two’s relatively relaxed state.
I’m excited to eat too, Two said, It was a good idea to come here.
… It was your suggestion, and Blue was the one who wanted pizza in the first place, Ri called out.
… It was still a good idea, Two said, slightly embarrassed.
“As long as the food is good,” Red said.
It reviewed well, Two defended.
“It had better, seeing how expensive this stuff is.”
It was barely something Ri and Two thought about; Ri glanced at Two again realizing that, soon, they might have to start being much more careful. Ri didn’t want to have to worry about having the funds to support himself and Two, but it didn’t seem like a problem yet so he was happy to let it go and enjoy celebrating. It felt like they needed it; he didn’t want to ruin it this time.
“Weren’t you thinking about what you wanted to drink?” Blue reminded them. “I think I sense them coming already.”
Blue’s warning alarmed Ri; he realized he wasn’t ready yet and started to panic. It didn’t feel great, but he realized that it didn’t really mean anything, he could just choose whatever. He tried to remember the drinks they had available and decided to try an iced berry-flavored tea.
Sounds good, Two said. I was just going to get some water, but I might steal some of your tea~
I – Ri was flustered; he didn’t mind but he didn’t really have anything to get back at Two with. He didn’t really want water.
Just a bit to try it, Two assured him.
Of course it’s OK, Ri said. Two smiled; it was nice for Ri to see. It was just as the waiter was coming to them, though, so his presence shocked them out of the moment, making them jump as he announced himself. He was polite about it at least, but it was still awkward for Ri and Two to be caught in the moment. Ri sighed to settle himself down, then ordered for himself and Two while Red and Blue finished looking over the menu. In a moment the interaction was over, and Ri and Two relaxed again, realizing and remembering that they weren’t as private as they thought, hidden away a bit in a booth.
“… You guys are still trying to figure it out,” Red commented.
… Yeah, Ri admitted.
“That wasn’t super awkward,” Blue offered. It didn’t feel that way, Ri thought, it still felt too open and vulnerable.
It felt that way, Two said, reflecting what Ri was thinking.
“I understand,” Red said, “but you need to figure it out too.”
We know, Two said, with a bit of an edge in his voice. It’s – harder than you think, Two said, softening up again and revealing the awkwardness he felt.
“We’ve seen,” Blue pointed out, “we know it’s hard for you.”
We’ll figure it out sometime, Ri said, hoping the topic would pass. Just not… now.
We have other things we need to figure out first, Two asserted.
“And you aren’t here to try and face that stuff,” Blue drew out.
We’re here to try to… celebrate, Ri confirmed.
“… With some limited success,” Red said. Ri knew – they had ups and downs like always – but he tried to hold on to the fact that he and Two were withstanding it more strongly than they had before, and he tried to understand that Red wasn’t trying to be accusatory about it.
We have a lot to learn, Two said.
“You need to grow…” Red asserted. He got lost in thought; it was kind of sudden and confusing for Ri. He supposed a lot of things were on Red’s mind, too; he remembered how the gym battle was and Red’s insistence for getting the bandanna he was wearing. He wondered if their own attempt to self-reflect and improve themselves was rubbing off on Red. He tried to let it go; unlike with Two he recognized that he needed to stay paws-off with Red unless Red actively involved him and Two in his inner world. They had to let him deal with it himself – at least until he was willing to expose it to them. And – Blue ended up lost in thought too. Ri glanced at his mate; he appreciated the topic moving on but he almost would’ve preferred it to the awkward silence.
I guess we can let them think, Two suggested, they’ve given us more than enough space to think ourselves.
Yeah, Ri agreed. At least… we’re with it now, he commented.
It means a lot, Two agreed.
It does.
Ri was out again; it was a little scary after nearly breaking down before, but he recognized he was relatively comfortable and he knew he was safe with Two. It was just weird, being OK again after being so close to a breakdown barely hours before. He looked to his mate in poor spirits; he knew he was a fragile Lucario, and he knew it took a lot of work for Two to stop him from breaking apart. Two said over and over again it didn’t bother him but it was still Ri’s responsibility to grow stronger. Uncomfortably, an analogy of tempering steel came to Ri’s mind – he hoped that it wouldn’t be hard like that for him and Two – but he did feel willing to brave it, as long as Two was there with him. He couldn’t imagine Two abandoning him, so he felt oddly comfortable knowing what it was they were getting themselves into. He felt they were going to have to start testing waters – even going out like this was testing how they could manage to interact out in public – but he knew they would have to start getting braver with it and more nuanced. He didn’t really want to think about it now; he just wanted to enjoy being comfortable where they were in the moment.
You’re also getting lost in thought, Two teased.
I – Ri said, flustered out of what he was thinking. He immediately lost it; he regretted it somewhat but at the same time he knew he’d been thinking he wanted to be in the moment, too. Two’d teased him and made him lose it, but he’d brought him back to the moment, too.
It’s fine, Two said, we’ll approach it when we’re ready.
With that Ri remembered what he was thinking.
… Yeah, he agreed. I want to have fun now.
Two nodded slightly – warier, after the waiter surprised them. I do too, he said.
Ri sighed; it was nice to be grounded with Two. He looked around again, and remembered that the place around them was nice; he liked being there with Two and getting to share it with him. It was something he cared about, and it was something he could share with Two in public, as long as they didn’t get too intimate about it. He appreciated being able to share it with his mate.
It's nice, Two agreed, I do… prefer the places we like.
More romantic? Ri teased. It flustered Two a bit but Two managed to hide it… it reminded Ri that they could go too far. He wished that that weren’t the boundary, but he understood too that until they figured it out, it was more comfortable for Two to just… not get anywhere near it. Otherwise – he only felt comfortable teasing Two that way because he agreed.
I like them too, Ri consoled.
I – think they’re coming with our drinks, Two said.
Indeed, Ri sensed their waiter this time. He came with a tray of drinks and a tray of salads. Ri hadn’t expected them, but he appreciated the starter of healthy stuff to offset the pizza they were about to eat. It helped make the place seem high-class, and it helped validate the cost of the food they were eating. Ri and Two had ordered enough to have a full meal, but Ri supposed they could bring some of it home and have a snack the next day, too.
“I didn’t expect this,” Blue said, as the waiter bid them well and left them alone.
We didn’t either, Ri admitted, looking down at the salad in front of him. He shrugged and started eating at it. It was crisp and crunchy, and it had a tangy vinaigrette that was sweet enough that it didn’t overpower the delicate flavor of some of the veggies in the salad. It was good, but Ri didn’t finish it anticipating the pizza he had wanted in the first place. He liked eating, but if he wasn’t careful he could eat too much fairly easily. He wondered why the restaurants they visited didn’t have pokemon-sized portions sometimes, but he supposed it was too hard to standardize portions for all the different pokemon out there. He imagined, humorously, the cooks in the kitchen struggling to cook up a Tyranitar-sized portion of food alongside all the normal human-sized portions they had to make.
He tried his tea too, and offered it to Two to take a sip. Like the salad it was delicately balanced. The tea flavors weren’t overpowered by the berry flavors, and the berry was sweet enough to round off the tendency of the tea to be bitter. It was good, Ri thought; he was happy so far he and Two found the place. He sensed Two was vaguely smug about it, but he supposed he could let his mate have some harmless fun with it. He thought it was cute, anyway. In any case, he knew Two was just happy and thankful that the place he’d suggested was turning out well. With everything they tried so far – Ri looked forward to the pizza even more.
It came a little while later. Ri set aside his salad bowl anticipating it, and let the others know their waiter was coming. He set it down – two large pies next to each other, one for Ri and Two and one that Red and Blue had agreed on.
“Will you let us try some of yours?” Blue asked.
… I guess, Ri said, deciding with Two’s input that he and Two couldn’t be too stingy since they had more than enough for themselves.
“You can have some of ours if you want,” Red said. He sounded out of it – Ri caught on to it easily but he let it go despite wondering what was on Red’s mind. He was rather tempted to look, but he tried his best to ignore Red, and took a slice of pizza for himself. It had sweet pepper and papap on it; he looked forward to the light crisp of the veggies but he wasn’t so excited about it after the salad he’d just eaten. He waited for Two, though, and they tried it together, and found themselves delighted by its flavor. It hit a careful mark between the greasy, ‘trashy’ pizza which they guiltily enjoyed and the refined, ‘tasteful,’ restrained pizzas which felt too ‘proper.’ This pizza was clean, but it didn’t ‘pretend’ with herbs and it didn’t hold back on the sauce and grease too much. It was, certifiably, good pizza. Ri and Two quickly downed their first slices, and found Blue enjoying his pizza, too. Ri was happy they were all enjoying it – but he noticed that Red hadn’t touched his, yet. By now it was clear that Red was bothered, but Ri still wasn’t sure whether he and Two should bring it up yet. He glanced at his mate and Two like usual caught it.
We should probably ask at this point, Two offered. He’s shown clearly enough that he’s out of it.
OK, Ri agreed. I just hope it goes well.
I do too, Two wished. Ri sighed, and pressed himself to bring it up.
–Red, he poked unsurely. Red looked at him – first with a burst of frustration, but Ri was relieved to see him soften up and realize they were just offering to help – showing they cared.
“… Can I talk with you guys?” Red finally asked. It was rather sudden and out of character for Red, but Ri supposed it was understandable. He sounded unsure; Ri knew it was awkward going out of character even with close friends.
Sure, he said. He felt a pang of guilt – like he and Two did something wrong – but he tried to dispel it, understanding that they didn’t necessarily do anything themselves to make Red this way. The possibility remained, though, so Ri just waited anxiously while Red collected his thoughts.
“You guys think of me as a Zoroark, right?” he asked.
Yeah, Ri said, easily.
Yes, Two said.
“Am I really a Zoroark?” Red asked. Ri glanced at Two; he didn’t totally know where this was coming from.
Genetically… yes, Two said. How you identify… is up to you, I suppose.
Ri watched Red sigh.
“I don’t know,” Red said. “I thought I had it all figured out, but going out on this Challenge is making me wonder again.”
So, finally, Red let it out. Ri saw how it was a bit of a relief for the Zoroark, but at the same time, it was an open can of worms he couldn’t close again, and they were about to have this discussion. Red sighed, and decided to continue on. He tugged gently at his bandanna and shifted in his seat. At the very least, Ri was happy it wasn’t something he or Two did, at least not recently. He wasn’t happy Red was still struggling, however.
“I thought Red the Zoroark wasn’t as driven as Red the human,” Red started. “I thought I was happy chilling with you guys, playing games, and listening to music. I thought I didn’t have the drive I did from before I changed.
“This Challenge, though, I’m more excited for it than I thought I’d ever be. I feel… alive, and I feel that it hasn’t been that way for a while.”
Roundabout, Ri realized this was, indirectly, about him and Two. Even if Red didn’t directly blame them for keeping him from doing this stuff, it felt obvious to Ri that they had. It made him feel guilty, but he waited for Red to finish what he had to say.
“My power as a pokemon, I want to test it against Kanto. I want to show my own worth as a pokemon now that I understand what it’s like being a pokemon. I don’t want to have just…” This was difficult for Red to admit, Ri sensed, “ridden on the backs of my old friends.”
Red suddenly realized and it threw his train of thought off-course.
“My friends,” he repeated, “I haven’t even seen them in years.”
He got lost in thought; Ri didn’t worry this time about paying attention to how he was thinking over his friendship with the pokemon he’d left behind at Oak’s lab.
“It’s so awkward,” he continued, “thinking back on how I was their friend as a human. Maybe it’s better if I just let it go,” he wondered out loud. “… You guys are my friends, now.”
Ri wasn’t sure about what he was hearing. He glanced at Two, self-checking to make sure he wasn’t out of line. It seemed to bother Two too, so he felt he wasn’t wrong to wonder about it.
Is that… right? Ri asked.
“I don’t know,” Red dismissed sharply. It cut at Ri – Ri retreated to Two, but he guessed he should’ve expected for Red to be tender about that.
“I’m sorry,” Red said as he realized how cold he’d been. “I mean… I don’t know,” he repeated, but much more softly. “I don’t know if I relate to them like I did before.”
You had wanted to relate to them like a pokemon, Two reminded him. It was part of why you wanted to make the transformation permanent in the first place.
“I remember,” Red said, “but if I really meant that, would I not have stayed with them?”
You did, Ri said. Until you couldn’t deal with Oak anymore.
“Right,” Red remembered. “I didn’t go back because…”
In realtime, Ri watched Red realize what he was saying and how it was affecting Ri and Two.
“Guys… I don’t regret staying with you. Not especially now, when you’ve become able to follow me around Kanto like this. I –” Red paused, realizing that he wasn’t normally so open like this, but after hanging on it for a little while, Ri saw he decided to push through it. “I understand that you guys trust me, and I always appreciated and valued it. I’m here for you, I – don’t think you’d be able to get by without me.”
Ri wasn’t sure what to think about Red said. He was thankful Red recognized and understood the value they placed in him, but he wasn’t sure about what Red was saying about their reliance on him, especially with how Red was just talking about how he’d practically abandoned his old friends. Along with how it felt to Ri like they’d held back Red for years given how happy he was now to finally be freed from it a little… Ri felt he and Two were directly responsible for the confusion Red was feeling.
Ri, Two said, I don’t think we can entirely blame ourselves. At the very least, if Red sees things that way or not, he doesn’t seem to blame us for it.
It was still wrong, Ri said forthrightly.
… I understand, Two said. It was something Two just had to let go of; Two understood how Ri worked. I do agree that… we could’ve been more careful with him.
Ri nodded.
“… What are you guys thinking?” Red challenged. Ri felt unsure, but he guessed he had to admit it.
I feel like we’re responsible for you having this hard time, Ri admitted reticently. He saw as Red considered it; he hadn’t expected Red to think about it so openly.
“Maybe,” Red said, “but I don’t really blame you for it,” he continued plainly. “Please trust that if I really wanted, I could’ve left and gone on my own before you became as attached to me as you are. I… wanted to be here, with you,” he admitted awkwardly.
The admission meant a lot to Ri; it was forgiving and it was reassuring. Red was their friend; that was the clearest, heaviest confirmation of it they’d heard in a long time.
“I know I’m not usually clear about it,” Red admitted, “but I’m pretty sure you guys understand why.”
We always understood, Two said.
We always appreciated it and thought it helped, Ri continued.
“I didn’t know you appreciated it so much,” Red said, sounding surprised. It surprised Ri a bit, too; he thought they’d been clear about it but he guessed it was nothing like this truly open moment they were sharing. Ri glanced at Two; with an admission like that he felt it was right to assure Red of how they felt too, even if it was just a friendship and if it wasn’t… usually how they dealt with Red. Two nodded at him, giving him clearance; part of it was feeling like he was mirroring how he dealt with Two, but if Two agreed then it seemed alright.
We’re your friends too, Ri said. We’re happy that we’re in a place where you’re able to do stuff like this again, and… when it isn’t miserable, it’s been a lot of fun to follow you.
Red nodded, understanding. “I appreciate it,” he said. Ri nodded back; that seemed to close the matter, but Red wasn’t done yet. He kept thinking, and brought up an old topic.
“… I still can’t reconcile who Red the Zoroark and Red the human are.”
Ri and Two weren’t really sure what to say at this point; they just waited for Red to put his thoughts together and continue.
“I thought I was happy being naked, but here I am trying to wear clothes again,” Red started. “I thought I wasn’t an explorer anymore, but I want to go and see things. I thought that after so many years I’d understand who I am but I don’t know anymore again. I want to be the best pokemon, like I wanted to be the best pokemon trainer. I thought that all died with Red the human, but here it is again.”
Ri wasn’t sure how to take it; it seemed clear to him that Red was confounding him and Two holding him back with his own identity. It was pretty clear to Ri: Red had, until now, made his identity “I’m here for Ri and Two.” Even if that still existed, Red the “I’m my own person” was returning, too. It was a good thing, but Ri wished it weren’t hard on Red.
This is partly on us, Ri said. We kept you from that for years.
“… Perhaps,” Red said, “But I’d forgotten it on my own terms. Please, trust me that this is new, not just… repressed like you seem to think.”
… OK, Ri said, backing off. With Red being forceful like that… he felt he had to let it go and trust like Red was asking.
“I like being a Zoroark,” Red asserted, “but even now I don’t know what that means. I’m comfortable in my body, but I don’t know who a Zoroark is.”
Ri wasn’t sure how to help; it was the same sort of thing Two was going through. He glanced at his mate, knowing that there wasn’t really anything either of them could do to help since they didn’t know for themselves.
“… Can I?” Blue interjected.
“… Sure?” Red supposed.
“Can’t you just be… Red?” Blue suggested. “Does it really matter if you’re Red the Zoroark or Red the human?”
Ri noticed Red glance at himself and Two. Blue’s words hit Two pretty rough; everything Two was trying to do was figure out what a Mewtwo was. And with Ri’s past as a Shadow Lucario, it was clear what they thought.
“I’m Red the Zoroark,” Red said. “That’s part of my identity. I used to be Red the human… I’m not that anymore. I can say that for sure. I guess I just thought Red the Zoroark was someone he wasn’t… and I’m learning now that he’s more like my old self than I thought.”
Ri looked at Blue awkwardly, unable to communicate what he was feeling. He hoped Blue understood; he felt bad but at the same time, he understood how his suggestion fell kind of flat.
He – meant… Two started awkwardly, understanding the hypocrisy of pointing it out when he was in his own situation, Does it really matter whether you’re more like a ‘Zoroark’ or more like a ‘human’ if you’re still ‘Red?’
Ri watched as Red considered it; it was apparently a little harder for him to get his head around.
“I suppose not,” Red said, “but I think you can understand the situation,” he softly accused.
I do, Two said, easily backing off. Ri tried to make sure he was OK; he was happy Two seemed to understand that Red wasn’t being critical of him as much as the idea Two had suggested which was obvious wasn’t his but Blue’s.
“How do you deal with it?” Red asked.
I…
Two glanced at Ri this time; Ri saw how personal this felt to Two to admit. He didn’t seem happy about it, but Ri tried to let him know silently that it was OK, at least on his part, whether he shared or not.
I haven’t figured it out yet, Two admitted. I just want to be a good mate to Ri, and I want to be able to have fun with him.
“It hurts though, right?” Red pushed. Again, Two glanced at Ri sadly. Again, Ri let him know it was OK. This bothered Two a little more, though, Ri saw.
It does, Two admitted. Don’t… he faltered, seeing that maybe it was a bad idea to say, but Red picked up on it anyway.
“Don’t –”
Don’t liken our situations too much, Two asserted. I understand how you feel, but I have nothing to tell me what I should be. I should be a heartless weapon, if I go by what I was created to be, Two said, starting to get a bit bitter, but I know I can’t let that define me.
“… Sure,” Red said. It wasn’t the warmest concession, but Ri was happy and thankful Red didn’t press. “You’re right… but I’ve never met too many Zoroark to know if I’m like them or not.”
Guys – Blue interjected suddenly. It alarmed Ri, but he realized that the waiter was coming up to them. He froze up instantly, realizing they were still in a public place. He went over the conversation in his mind – he realized as the waiter came up to them that Red was speaking in Zoroark and he knew that Blue preferred speaking in Lucario when he didn’t have to communicate to humans so their conversation was private enough. The waiter left without saying a word; Ri guessed, as he tried to calm down by breathing in and out a few times that something they all did made it clear he wasn’t wanted at the moment.
“… I guess I shouldn’t be talking about this here,” Red admitted. “Just… I’m happy to be a pokemon,” he continued, “and I’m thankful you guys have accepted me and been my friend and helped me through it. I guess maybe I should just let it go, like Blue said I don’t really have to worry about it too much, and like you said you have it worse. I’m happy,” Red assured them, “it’s just… confusing.” He shut up after that; Ri wasn’t really happy with how it ended, but he supposed it ended mostly because Red realized they were in a space that made Ri and Two uncomfortable to talk about it more so than anything Ri or Two had done. It lingered in his mind, however; he felt he couldn’t let it go just yet. It bothered him Red was still confused.
Would you – want to try living with some Zoroark for a little while? He suggested. If you knew what they were like it might help you understand who you are a little better.
“Maybe,” Red said, holding back. “I wouldn’t want to leave you guys behind to do it.”
We would be willing to go with you, Two said, if the Zoroark don’t mind.
“We’d have to find them,” Red said.
That’s not a problem for me, Ri asserted. Zoroarks’ Illusion powers didn’t really trick him; he was able to see through them and his senses showed him a Zoroark’s true form whether they were using Illusion or not.
They might not like you if you can see through them like that, Two pointed out.
I’m not a threat, Ri said, ears going back thinking about it.
They’re the ones we have to convince, Two gently pushed back.
I know, Ri agreed. I’m just…
You’re my sweet fluffball~ Two comforted him. Two smiled at him awkwardly and covertly; it helped Ri feel a bit better. But you’re a powerful fluffball, Two reminded him.
Yeah, Ri agreed. That felt like about it, at least for the moment. He looked at the pizza pies in front of him; they’d totally forgotten about it. He’d forgotten about his tea, too; he hoped it didn’t get too diluted while they were all talking. He took a sip and was happy for it to still taste great, and he took another slice. It was rather lukewarm by now, but it still tasted good, and he was happy to enjoy it. The discussion with Red was sobering – it showed Ri that Red had problems too – but at least Red seemed largely happy. Two had a harder time – he had to find sideways ways of being happy – but at least, for the moment, they were able to have fun together. Red finally tried his pizza – commented it was good – and it seemed… over, at least for the moment. It dulled the mood – they didn’t speak much for a little while after – but at least they weren’t worked up or depressed or anything, just… aware that they were all kind of messed up pokemon.
It left Ri to think over what Red had talked about: Red had laid down some pretty heavy things that usually stayed implied between them. Red was their friend, they were his; he’d always trusted that but it was obvious and explicit now. Red recognized that they’d kept him from this stuff he was rediscovering but he didn’t really blame them for it and it all confused him anyway. He seemed reticent about visiting fellow Zoroark but whether it was because he was actually nervous about it or because he wanted to cut the conversation short, Ri wasn’t totally sure. He likened his situation to Two’s, but he’d backed off when two pushed back. He was happy as a Zoroark but he still felt the dissonance of transforming from being human. Ri just supposed that Red thought he’d figured it out while Ri and Two were holding him back and he was rediscovering himself now that they were enabling him to. Ri hoped Red would be able to figure it out.
It was a lot for Ri to take in; he was happy to have a bit of quiet time to work through it all, nibbling at his pizza and sipping at his tea. He remembered as he finished his slice that they were in a public place, but he supposed that if they weren’t doing anything there was nothing they could be doing that they shouldn’t be.
He thought back to the waiter they’d scared away; he felt nearly bad for it, now that none of them were doing anything compromising and just trying to enjoy their food. At the same time – he wished the staff would just leave them alone. They wanted to enjoy their food; they didn’t need anybody checking in on them, and if they wanted, they could call for help themselves. He understood other people felt cared for when the waiters did that, though, so it was just a matter of perspective that unfortunately left him and Two frustrated.
Ri sensed his mate as they finished their meal; Two was doing pretty OK. He saw how Red likening his identity crisis to Two’s bothered Two a bit, and he totally understood why. It simply brought it all up in Two’s mind again – the lost feeling he could sometimes be overwhelmed by if he thought about it too hard, along with the pain he felt since he didn’t feel like he had a place. Ri saw he was pulling through it, though. He knew Two was starting to put things together; Two was starting to build a conscious image of himself that he could rely on. It was vague and empty at the moment, but Ri was happy there were a couple things he could like and trust. Aside from all the things his creators tried to make him to be, there were things about himself that he liked. Ri felt he just needed to identify more of them, but he understood it was easier said than done, at least for a Mewtwo who felt everything was nebulous and confusing. Two wasn’t always the greatest at navigating that stuff; Ri felt bad it was most of what he had to work through to forge his identity. At least, he wanted to be there to help him through it. Ri sighed; he knew growing was painful, but he didn’t know if he was prepared for it. He didn’t know if he and Two would ever be prepared for it.
He sighed again though, and tried to let it go. He was with his mate, they were having a good time.
I’m distracting you, Two pointed out, looking to him. He sounded a bit disappointed in himself, but Ri was thankful he didn’t let it get to him too much. Ri thought to actually look at his mate for once; Two’s purple eyes looked through him – understood him to his core – but he always felt safe in them. He could hold eye contact with his mate. The fur on Two’s face softened his complexion, but he was visibly on edge, bothered by his own feelings. His awkward ear stalks bent back rather menacingly, but Ri didn’t really notice them; they didn’t register to him anymore when judging his mate’s expression, while he knew his ears easily emoted for him along with his tail.
Please don’t regret it, Ri pleaded, mindful of his ears drooping in his own discouragement.
Two softened up; his face, his eyes, his demeanor changed as he smiled at Ri. That smile was special, Ri knew; he was the only one who could draw it from Two. It left again, though. Ri recognized they were still in public; Two was still mindful of it. At the very least – Ri knew Two wasn’t letting anything get to him this time.
I won’t, Two said, but I’m happy I noticed.
Fair, Ri offered.
Your ears, Two said, you know they always betray what you’re feeling, Two pointed out, a touch playfully in reference to what was on Ri’s mind.
… Yeah, Ri said, embarrassed.
And your adorable tail, Two said, you can’t control it like I can mine. He flicked his tail to demonstrate, showing how he had higher-order control over what his tail did.
I know, Ri said. He was starting to get flustered; he was happy Two backed off.
You’re a dog, Two drew out, but you don’t really act like one.
The topic change was weird – it went quickly from teasing about Ri being cute to an intellectual discussion of how he acted. It took Ri off-guard a bit, but he didn’t really mind; it was better than Two teasing at him, at least when they were out in public like this.
“You don’t really act like a cat either,” Blue interjected.
I –
It was Two’s turn to get flustered. Ri noticed how it nearly turned to anger that Blue had made him feel that way in the context of being in public, but Two caught himself and tried to forgive Blue; Ri knew he cared. He paused to process it, though, which alarmed Red, too, making this suddenly a table-wide discussion.
“Pokemon aren’t animals,” Red started, “I know more than the rest of you we’re more like people. We don’t do a lot of things the same way they do but we feel a lot of things the same way too.”
“I never got why humans feel like they need to wear clothes everywhere,” Blue asked. Ri saw it hit a slight nerve on Red this time, but he seemed to deal with it well, too.
“They like to keep warm,” Red said. “Skin doesn’t do that like fur. They like the feeling, too, and they’re – shy about being naked.”
“I don’t get why,” Blue pressed.
“I don’t know, they just are.”
“Don’t you remember from when you were –"
“Blue – right now isn’t the best time to ask about this,” Red asserted, worked up. He immediately glanced at Ri and Two guiltily, realizing the was bringing attention to them.
“I’m – sorry,” Blue said, awkwardly.
“It’s… fine,” Red got out with difficulty, repressing the discomfort he still felt. Ri was thankful he was at least able to be calm about it, though, and that they seemed to manage not to catch too much attention as he sensed around the place.
“Couldn’t – you sense that was a little too much to ask?” Red wondered out loud, with an edge in his voice that betrayed how he expected Blue to know better.
“–No,” Blue said, confused. Red glanced at Ri and looked away; it wasn’t really supposed to communicate anything Ri knew but it betrayed Red wondering how it seemed to him Ri would know to avoid it.
We know as much from experience as we do from what we sense, Ri defended.
“I guess I forgot how it was before you guys learned,” Red admitted. “It would’ve been fine some other time,” he reasoned, “it just wasn’t the right time after… before.”
“I – could’ve considered,” Blue offered. “I’m aware I can ask too much sometimes,” he added on awkwardly.
Ri saw more to it, though; remnants of Red being human. They were in a public place; even if the people around them couldn’t understand what Blue was saying, Ri could see it was making Red a touch uncomfortable. There wasn’t much they could do about it, Ri thought, except help Red push through it if he ended up willing. The time didn’t seem right at the moment so he let it go. Mostly, it was just about Red being sensitive about being a human at all at the moment, and he understood too that after the discussion they’d just had and left behind, it was probably best not to bring it up again.
“It’s fine,” Red said. “Maybe later we can talk more.”
“OK,” Blue said.
“But guys – sorry,” Red said.
It’s fine, Ri said.
You weren’t particularly noticed, Two continued.
“That’s good,” Red said.
The silence after was a touch awkward, but it lead them all to look at the table in between them and realize they hadn’t touched anything in a short while.
Are we finished? Two asked.
I guess, Ri easily said. He felt full – he was happy for the salad before, especially now that he saw another meal for each of them lying in front of them.
“Yeah,” Blue said. “The salad filled me up more than I thought.”
It does that, Ri said.
“It’d be nice to go home,” Red considered hopefully. It seemed out of character for him, but Ri supposed he could forgive him that one. It felt like a good idea to him, too, so he wasn’t about to complain. They had to pay, though, and get all the food they didn’t eat home. After a bit of awkward deliberating, Red took it upon himself to flag down the waiter and ask, and the waiter approached carefully, letting them know that they had properly scared them. Ri vaguely felt bad, but at the same time he wished he hadn’t interrupted them while they were in the middle of a discussion. As the waiter came back with bags and a tablet for them to pay at, Ri and Two deliberated shortly about how they should deal with the incident. They decided not to mention it, but as Two put all the pizza away Ri dealt with the payment and left a rather substantial tip for good food and as an apology. He hoped it would come across, but he was happy they were able to let it go and leave once they were done, deciding it was best just to go home after messing that up and having some difficult discussions, though in the back of their minds they vaguely wanted to see the bar still. They awkwardly left together – Two carrying the boxes of pizza – and once they were out of sight, they jumped into another nearby alley and Two teleported them home. It was nice to be home – to have the familiar greys, purples, and oranges around them again – but they weren’t quite ready to rest. Two put away the pizza first, and came back out and sat down so Ri could sit down into him. He happily rested himself against his mate – upright so they were primed for conversation or whatever else it was they would end up wanting to do – happy to be officially home from their trip out. It was nice to come home happy and stable after having to come home earlier for self-maintenance; it made Ri feel like they’d done relatively well to keep themselves together, now that he was able to sit with his mate, be rather relaxed and able to reflect on their trip relatively positively. He knew there had been some bumps, but… he and Two had expected it, and they both were happy to be in one piece on the other side. It was encouraging; it helped Ri and Two both feel good. They ended up nuzzling and cuddling; it was nice to be able to express their affection for each other openly, at least as far as they were able to go without making Red and Blue uncomfortable. They settled down at one point, though, and sat in thought, or at least quiet as they rested and waited for a conversation to start.
“Blue,” Red started, “humans think their bits are too private to share so openly with others.”
“Are you –”
“It’s fine,” Red asserted sternly. It almost didn’t sound fine that way, but Ri understood. Red could find it annoying to be questioned when he wanted someone to just accept something by context. Red continued, however, showing it really was fine. “They think of being naked as sexual.”
“But we don’t think anything of it,” Blue countered. “Your bits are out, what does it matter?”
“It turns the humans on,” Red explained. “They find each other attractive anytime.”
“But it’s not like that for us,” Blue wondered out loud. Red shrugged; clearly part of him still didn’t want to think about it too hard.
“I had to get used to it,” Red said. “Being naked doesn’t feel weird anymore but it did when I first became a Zoroark.”
“Why’s it like that?” Blue asked. Nobody could really answer for him. It was biology… biology was one of the few things Two tried to avoid. All he or Ri knew was that they were always naked – and only sometimes it meant anything of consequence to them, and those times were rather distinct from the times when they didn’t think of it much at all. Ri wondered what it would feel like to spend most of his time in clothes – it sounded weird, awkward, and stifling. Uncomfortable. It didn’t make sense to him, but he had to accept that to humans it did. He supposed Red’s explanation of sexual drive was the most compelling explanation, but he didn’t know why humans were driven differently than pokemon. He just appreciated how it was for him and Two; he couldn’t imagine how they’d deal with it if they could turn each other on at any moment. The way he was close to his mate as they were talking – he wondered to himself if that would be enough, with the way their bodies were touching. He caught himself – he knew he could start something if he started thinking about it too explicitly – so he just let it go, and decided to cuddle into his mate instead, happy to be safe, loved, and cared for in his presence. Most of the time cuddles were completely wholesome for him and Two; he wondered how humans got by if it was horny all the time. He didn’t have to think about it, though, so he let it go and enjoyed being with his mate.
You’re adorable, Two flirted.
No you, Ri protested in jest. He felt Two’s paw on his nose; a soft boop. Even that was enough to fluster him.
Is there anything you want to do? Two asked innocently.
I don’t know, Ri said. I’m happy just relaxing.
I don’t know either, Two agreed. They ended up just sitting; it was nice, after the stress and work of the day. They didn’t always have to do stuff together actively as a group; it was nice sometimes just to chill. To be able to be comfortable with each other and Red and Blue meant a lot; sometimes they were able to enjoy just that without having to do something to have fun too.
Naturally, though, it lead to thinking again. Ri was able to reflect over the day; it was a pretty good day, he felt. Bad things came to his mind – the harder parts of the day – but he was happy to have withstood them with Two’s help, and he was thankful to have been able to pay attention and help his mate, too. It mattered to him a lot, so he was happy he managed to do it. He felt great cuddling against his mate, secure knowing that, indeed, he was managing to start to be the mate he felt Two deserved of him.
Then of course his mind drifted to the other things that had happened, too: falling apart in front of Omar, then later in the street in public. He knew he wasn’t perfect, but he wanted to be better. Better was getting closer, but it still felt far away. All Ri felt he could do was just hunker down and keep pursuing it with Two. Two seemed to agree with him, so it was just a matter of braving it together. Ri was thankful Two was with him; he couldn’t imagine doing it without him.
“I was thinking,” Red started suddenly, breaking the silence, nearly surprising Ri because of it, “I don’t think I’m going to want to visit any Zoroark soon. My Challenge is my priority… I want to finish it first before figuring out whether I’m a human or a Zoroark.”
… OK, Ri said, with Two’s agreement, pulling his mind from his thoughts to pay attention to Red. It meant Red was saving it until later, but Ri supposed he didn’t mind, at least as long as Red didn’t try to make them do that with him just when they wanted to approach something new for themselves. He couldn’t blame Red for needing time to feel ready for it.
“In that case,” Blue started, “I was thinking…” he seemed much more unsure about his thoughts than Red had.
–Yeah? Ri asked.
“I want to visit my old home,” he asserted.
This brought a little more alarm to Ri and Two both; it was clearly something immediate that he wanted to do soon.
“There are things I left behind there,” he defended, “I want to check on them. Bea… I never got to battle her and Grapploct again. I want to test myself against her now that you’ve trained me. I wanted to see my Mewtwo, too, I realized I miss him. I grew up with him… I want to show him how much I’ve grown since coming to live with you. I want to see my Cerise Lab, too.”
Ri consulted Two about it silently; Blue’s trip idea seemed more disrupting than Red’s trip idea, but he felt they had to consider it fairly. Ri wasn’t quick to want to go to another world when he and Two felt they had priorities here on their world, but he considered carefully, and it felt like the things they had to do they could do on any world. Ri wondered about Red’s Challenge, but he supposed that was up to Red. The old lab – Two had just found the courage to visit it, but they were about to abandon it for… Ri didn’t know how long. They tended to end up visiting for a while… he wasn’t sure he wanted to be away from home that long anymore.
At the same time, though, he recognized that a vacation could help them, give them some distance and perspective. And – they could learn something new, too. And, he remembered what the League had said: they were supposed to keep low for a bit once the announcement about the end of their time as gym leaders went public. Their home was secure; they could afford to leave it for a little while and literally disappear. Ri judged how Two felt about it; largely, it seemed up to Red since Two didn’t seem opposed to it either.
It's up to Red as much as it is up to us, Ri said. Once it’s public we’re no longer gym leaders, we’re supposed to be quiet for a while anyway so it wouldn’t be a problem for us.
“Only a few days,” Blue asserted. “I don’t –”
He nearly shuddered; Ri easily knew what he was thinking. He didn’t want to come across his old trainer. He just wanted to tie up loose ends he’d left escaping Ash. Ri could totally understand the sentiment. Deep in his memory he remembered feeling the same thing when he left Draco to check on his old life. It had turned out – well, indirectly wonderful for him – but he supposed that since they were going with Blue, there wasn’t really any way it would go poorly like it initially had until Ri managed to find his way back to Two.
“It’s fine with me,” Red said, “it was fun to visit, and I’m not about to visit another gym for a bit.”
The Mewtwo, Two wondered out loud. Ri saw how, suddenly, the thought of the other Mewtwo intimidated Two. The one Mewtwo was broken like he was – he had a different story but much the same problems because of it. His child, however… was a normal pokemon like any other who had no history of trauma. Two had somehow managed it when they first met the Mewtwo, but now Ri saw how it could be really bothersome to his mate.
I guess I can withstand it, Two said. Maybe… they could help me.
But they aren’t like you, Ri reminded him. He doesn’t have your story.
I know, Two said. It had been a sore point between them the last time they met. Truthfully, Ri hadn’t really expected to ever see that group again, but they hadn’t left on bad terms, just… terms which implied that they weren’t going to visit again. Blue wanting to go back was reason to visit, though, so he didn’t think it would go too badly.
We could probably manage it, Ri said.
“–Thanks,” Blue said. “Will we be able to do that soon?”
Probably? Ri wondered out loud. Out of curiosity, he decided to teleport himself his laptop and he looked up recent news. He hadn’t been expecting it, but a title appeared: “Pokemon Gym Leaders On Cinnabar Retire From League.” His heart sunk in panic; it was official and they hadn’t even noticed!
Two! He cried out.
Ri!? Two cried back, sensitive to his sudden panic.
I’m – fine, Ri said, realizing he’d made his mate panic. They made it public, though!
Oh gosh, Two said, anxious himself to know. Ri easily shifted against Two so they both could read together:
“The Indigo League is a timeless, seasoned Kanto tradition which honors pokemon and the relationship we humans share with them. Trainers across the region train with their pokemon partners and prove their worth by challenging the numerous Pokemon Gyms Kanto hosts. These Gyms are the bastion of Kanto pride, testing trainers, their pokemon, and the bond they share so that only the worthiest may participate in the Indigo League tournaments. Kanto is proud to be the first region in the world to have recognized Pokemon among its ranks, boasting having sponsored pokemon as Gym leaders for over 20 years. The Gym leaders – Ri, a purple and orange Lucario, and Two, a Mewtwo shrouded in mystery – quickly proved themselves to be the toughest challenge a trainer would face on their path to the championships when they began managing the Cinnabar Gym in the old Gym leader Blaine’s sudden disappearance. Little is known of either of their pasts, though some sources claim Two was an experiment funded by the since-disbanded crime syndicate Team Rocket. These claims proved, however, impossible to verify. It is well-known however that their Gym stands as the ultimate trial which many trainers aspire to overcome over the course of their journey, and the decisiveness with which they enforce their standards is widely discussed in the community and is met with vastly differing opinions from veneration to irritation. It stands, however, that the trust our Champion, Blue, and our League Committee place in these pokemon to judge its participants serves as the highest example of the bond humans and pokemon can form that Kanto can offer.
Unforeseen across the region, the Cinnabar pokemon have recently stepped down from their position as Gym leaders after suddenly closing their gym to challengers. It is not unknown for the mysterious pokemon to step away from their gym frequently and suddenly during the course of a League season, but this news is swift and unexpected and disappointing to hear across the region. Our Gym leaders stand as reliable symbol of Kanto virtue; it is always disturbing when a change in the infrastructure we depend on so mightily happens, but it is especially hard to hear that the leaders we hold the most pride in are relinquishing their roles.
We reached out to the Indigo League Committee as soon as we could when we heard the news, and came in contact with Blue himself. With permission, we shared his brief but pertinent comments:
‘We were always grateful for the help Ri and Two offered us. Even if they didn’t hand out many badges at all, they readily accepted challenger after challenger, and, if rarely I came across someone sporting their badge, it alone held the same weight as the other seven they proudly displayed alongside it. I have always considered Ri and Two friends, and I was always proud to have them on our team and to have their support should trouble arise. It’s unfortunate to say that they are letting go of their Gym, but even pokemon can’t be expected to stick to one job forever. They grow and change just like we do; I wish them well in whatever they choose to pursue next, and I am ever thankful for having had the chance to work alongside them.’
The Saffron Times would have tried to ask the pokemon for their own stories, but at the behest of the League the pokemon are not available for comment. Reflecting the words of our Champion, we wish Ri and Two well in their adventures as ex-Gym leaders, and we thank them for their service.”
There was… a lot to unpack about the article. First – it was a huge relief that, reading over it, everything seemed mostly positive and harmless. Upon closer inspection and reflection, however, the article brought up a ton of questions that Ri wasn’t ready to think about. It venerated Ri and Two; he wasn’t ready to handle it at all, and the pageantry it displayed sickened him. It said a lot of stuffy stuff about the gyms and the Indigo League and its leaders, making them all out to be a lot more than they really were and praising something Ri thought was adequate at best. Ri didn’t want to be a “paragon” or a “bastion” of anything, he was just a Lucario who used his senses to decide not to hand a hunk of metal to random people. The article said quite a bit about him and Two – it was rather revealing about the public image Two held at the moment. Ri foresaw it being troublesome to his mate for his past to be practically erased like that, but at the same time it seemed like it should be liberating and rewarding to know that the public considered him a good pokemon. Most importantly, if most people had forgotten where Two came from, it gave him space to form his own image of himself.
… I don’t know how to feel about it, Two admitted, regarding the article as a whole.
I don’t know either, Ri reflected.
Esteemed, Two said.
I… don’t know, Ri repeated. He honestly wasn’t sure; other things occupied his attention while Two wondered what the article meant for him. Blue’s statement was surprising to hear, but Ri guessed he’d crafted it to cover for them. Dissatisfied, he looked over it again and tried to decipher what was authentic and what was added in to smooth things over. His first comment about their badge sounded genuine; Ri didn’t believe he had any reason to make that up. His wishes later in the statement were surely authentic; he’d said as much to them directly when they saw him. He was careful to avoid why they’d avoided their gym, he noticed, and even added on a sort of ‘red herring’ to make sure nobody really questioned it. It was strictly true, Ri guessed – he and Two grew and changed – but he was thankful for the way Blue had obfuscated it. The only thing, then, was… his comment about them being friends and their support. As far as Ri was aware, the League wasn’t under any impressions Ri and Two would show up if the gym leaders were needed for anything, and it didn’t seem appropriate for them to be ‘friends’ since they’d barely interacted at all. He recognized it was just fluff that kept them safe; Ri just liked knowing. Aside from that, the entire article sounded like fluff. It felt like a funeral was happening – like Ri and Two were the most important people in the world and everything was going to be terrible because they were gone – but it felt kind of insulting because it was obvious that things were going to go back to normal the next day like nothing had happened at all.
However, Ri was still anxious to get away. He was happy to disappear for a little while and let the news pass. He thought about doing something as simple as going out for groceries and getting bombarded by strangers wondering why they retired. It seemed impossible to do anything they liked to do away from their home, so it seemed reasonable to Ri to go somewhere more ‘exotic’ for an extended period of time. Aside from reliving the things that had happened the last time they’d gone, it felt like a great idea to visit Blue’s old world.
“Guys, are you going to tell us what’s happening?” Red poked. It shocked Ri and Two both out of their trains of thought, but it didn’t really bother either of them this time. They realized they’d practically dissociated and totally forgot to let them know.
They made the announcement, Ri said.
“Can we see?” Blue asked.
Sure, Ri said, holding out his laptop for Blue to take from him. When Blue had it, he retreated back to Two to consider what it was they’d read. It ended up surmounting to the public appreciating what they did as gym leaders and being proud of them serving in one of their esteemed positions. They didn’t have any apparent clue about Ri’s color or his brand, and they seemed to have forgotten about Two’s past, and they didn’t really mention Red or Blue, either. Ri hoped that they would be able to slip into a calm life where they could have privacy, but he figured they should wait and see what sort of discussion the announcement brought up. It was the first time in a long while Ri was aware he and Two had been in the news, so he wondered what sort of attention they’d get because of it.
It'll be good to get away, Two said, once again in response to Ri’s thoughts.
Yeah, Ri agreed. At least until it’s a little calmer.
And until we can look back and see what attention we got.
That was the only thing that was really scary; Ri didn’t know who would notice. He and Two felt comfortable in Kanto only because it seemed like Rocket had been disbanded and nobody had taken their place, but they didn’t know for sure and they didn’t know who else might try to attack them from other regions. In their little way they’d gotten away with going around – mostly, it seemed, because people didn’t know who they were – but with such public attention, people were sure to figure it out, and if they were being watched, it was only a matter of time before someone with less respect than usual for pokemon and deep pockets and a desire to rule over others came and knocked at their door with more than a little force.
“It doesn’t seem that bad,” Blue commented, passing Ri’s laptop back to him.
No, Ri said, but we don’t know what attention it’ll bring us.
“Rocket’s been dead – at least since I was Champion,” Red confirmed.
But we don’t know who else there is, Two countered.
“Haven’t we been safe so far?” Blue wondered out loud.
People don’t seem to know who we are, but they’ll figure it out if this gets enough attention.
And “ex-gym leader” isn’t as powerful a title as “gym leader,” Two pointed out.
“Are you being –” Blue started, but he fizzled out. Ri sensed what he was asking anyway, but he did fairly appreciate Blue seeing what he was saying: “Are you being paranoid about it?”
… Maybe, Ri said fairly, bothered by the thought even if Blue had managed to keep out. Ri felt embarrassed about it, like he was caught doing something wrong. I don’t want to end up dead or without Two or…
Ri didn’t want to think about the ways things could end poorly for him or Two. He’d already experienced how that could go, and he shuddered thinking about it, prompting Two to hug him close in concern. Ri tried to withstand it; he was safe now. He was lucky back then that Two had managed to find him; he couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if Two weren’t there.
They won’t separate us so easily again, Two comforted him.
We won’t so easily let ourselves get separated, Ri said back, through the fog he was trying to fight back.
No, we won’t, Two said, squeezing at him. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again.
I –
Ri didn’t know either, but he suspected he’d lose it. He didn’t like thinking about it and he knew it was dangerous to think about too much; he tried to back up from it and reassure himself that he didn’t have to worry about it. Two wouldn’t, at the very least, choose to abandon him, and he could find comfort in that. That was why the thought of Rocket or other people getting a hold of them was so scary. Ri thought and hoped it would be very difficult, but they could still be forced apart.
“But you’ll be safe on my world for a while?” Blue continued. Ri sensed he was aware of what was happening, but the change of topic was welcome; it helped take Ri’s mind off of things.
Probably, Ri said. Visiting might help us keep sane for a little while.
“Will we be able to visit, then?”
With the direct question, the reality of it suddenly became real in Ri’s mind. It was scary, going away from home again, but at the same time, it was either that or be stuck home
We need to be able to do what we need to to function, Two drew out.
Yeah, Ri agreed. It’s scary, but I think it’s better than staying here.
Yeah, Two said.
We can go, Ri said, as long as Red’s fine with it.
“Sounds good,” Red said. “Tomorrow?”
… Yeah, Ri figured. He sighed; visiting another universe wasn’t as restful as staying home, but since the alternative seemed to be staying at home and festering unable to go out, it did just seem better to take a vacation. It was a commitment, but it was one he was willing to make, especially since Blue seemed to need it, too. Ri didn’t want to get in the way of his friends’ needs anymore, so he was happy to feel able to do it.
“I wonder what it’s going to be like,” Blue said. Ri saw how it was daunting for him, too; he felt awkward about it but he wondered about offering help. He sensed Two was feeling awkward and apprehensive about it too since the earlier incident, but he felt some bit of Two wanted to help, so he took it upon himself to do it for both of them.
You’re – not the same pokemon you were when you left, Ri said, it’s going to feel different. It’s not the same world anymore, either.
“Will it really be that different?” Blue wondered.
You changed a lot between the times we saw you, Two said awkwardly.
It’ll be more time for them than it was for you, Ri added on.
“It’s – barely been a year,” Blue remembered. “Things can’t be –"
It’s been more for them, Two said.
And you’ve learned a lot, Ri reminded him. And settled in here.
The advice seemed to bother Blue – which wasn’t really Ri’s intent – but it seemed better for him to be aware than it did for him to be hit by it hard and suddenly. Ri remembered going back to his old world after meeting Two, and it had been a huge shock, especially since his partner had changed so much. Ri had too – which he only realized when he went back to Two – but his situation was the same as Blue’s was about to be: he was going to go back to a world on which more time had passed than it had for him. Ri hoped it would be OK, but it was better to be prepared than not.
“… Tomorrow then,” Blue insisted. The conversation disengaged from there. Ri sat with Two, anticipating their journey to Blue’s world and worrying about what things were going to be like when they got back, while Red and Blue chilled, preparing themselves too. They eventually got around to playing some games together on their relatively-new Playvision, but they ended up going to bed fairly early, exhausted from battles and breakdowns and exploring Vermilion and anticipating waking up the next day for a huge trip with a lot of unknowns for all of them – at least for Blue and for Two, and for Ri and Two when they finally got back. Ri hoped it would be fun, but things always seemed to go bad when they went on a trip like this. Ri didn’t really worry for himself this time, but he hoped for Two’s sake that things would go well. And, in a smaller extent, for Blue, too.
-----------------------------------------
Excitement ran through Ri and Two’s home as everyone prepared for their visit to Vermilion City. Red was warming up in the practice gym while Blue paced impatiently in the living room anxious to see more of Kanto. Ri and Two lay on the couch beside him, cuddling like usual but in a way that let them use their laptops to research the place before they visited it.
Ri and Two were excited like Red and Blue were – they wanted to chill and relax and celebrate Two’s recent mood after facing his insecurities - but it was always scary, going out and visiting a city, too. They were nervous and anxious about the people, especially after their recent fight with a stranger in Cerulean City. They learned they were less and less known the further from home they went, which meant they were more and more likely to come across people who held grudges against Two or questioned their place as gym leaders. The gym battle was – once again – rather early in the morning, so to help distract themselves from their nervousness about visiting the city, Ri and Two tried to research things they could do afterward that they could be excited about. They’d already discovered Vermilion City was a port town – so they expected to find markets selling all kinds of things – but otherwise they liked to look for stuff like museums, or cafes, things that interested them that they could make into ‘events.’
Vermilion City seems to be the home of the Kanto Pokemon Fan Club; we should probably try to avoid it, Two suggested.
Good idea, Ri agreed.
“A – fan club?” Blue asked, stopping in his tracks.
A group of people that appreciate pokemon like… people appreciate appreciating stamps, Two tried to explain. Blue seemed confused; Ri knew Two sometimes wasn’t the best at communicating but he understood what Two was trying to say so he explained for Blue:
They tend to care more about being fans of pokemon than they actually care about pokemon, Ri drew out. They’d – flock around us, if they decide we’re interesting.
He shuddered; he couldn’t imagine hundreds, tens – any people at all fanboying and fangirling around them. He wanted none of it; he just wanted to be left alone with Two.
“Lucario in Kanto… there’s two of us, now,” Blue guessed.
… Two, Ri corrected. And – my ‘special’ coloring. It’s not like… Lucario are special around here. Just not native.
It fell sour in Ri’s mouth as he said it; he managed to appreciate his color, but that came with the context of surviving the abuse that made him that color. He didn’t mind that Two appreciated his color because Two didn’t devalue the trauma that caused it. These people, however… Ri shuddered again, thinking how many of them would want to ‘collect’ him just because he wasn’t colored like a normal Lucario.
We’ll avoid them, Two assured him, putting his arm around him to comfort him.
“I’m – sorry,” Blue said awkwardly. “I… forget that you’re special, Two.”
Ri sensed Two wasn’t sure how to take it. On the one paw, he would’ve done anything to not be special, but on the other, he was special and there was nothing he could do about it. At least on this world. Blue happened to know several Mewtwo and he lived among them his whole life; it was understandable that he’d be desensitized to Mewtwo being unique.
I – appreciate you treating me normally, Two said awkwardly. Ri felt bad for Two; he still had trouble emoting naturally with Red and Blue.
“I wouldn’t want to see the pokemon fan club either,” Blue agreed. “Are there – parks or open places we could just hang out?”
Probably, Ri offered. It’s a port town, so we’re guessing there’s going to be markets we can shop at.
“Like – stuff from around the world?” Blue considered, lighting up.
Yeah, Two confirmed.
“That sounds fun,” Blue projected.
It – does, Ri agreed.
We were looking for other things too, Two said.
There was a war museum, but…
Ri nearly shuddered thinking about it. No matter how much it mattered that humanity memorialized war and what it was like, Ri wanted nothing to do with it. It made him feel sick to think about, bringing up past memories he didn’t want to think about.
“Doesn’t sound fun,” Blue summarized.
No, Ri asserted.
There’s sure to be other things, Two said, intending to comfort Ri more so than Blue. Ri nuzzled against his chest, thankful for Two’s effort and sure that they would find something fun to do.
In the meantime, Blue started pacing again, showing his excitement to go. They had a bit to wait still, though, so Ri and Two kept looking for places to visit. Like most cities, there was all the usual stuff – restaurants, chain stores, movie theaters, bowling alleys, stuff like that. If they wanted to do any of that, they could just go to Pallet Town, though. They wanted something unique to Vermilion that helped them learn about the city and made it feel ‘worth it’ to go there instead of some place they were more familiar with.
“Wouldn’t there be a bunch of boats?” Blue asked.
No boats, Ri said quickly.
“Why – not?” Blue asked. Ri’d caught him off guard; it was relatively rare with him. Ri’s reaction to it was almost visceral, though; he couldn’t imagine going near a big boat like the ones that he was sure frequented Vermilion City. Blue bringing it up brought him near to panicking immediately; he couldn’t afford to think about it too much.
Ri was captured on a boat, Two explained. When he was practically powerless to escape.
“Oh – I never –”
Ri understood; they’d never explained to him how he’d been captured by Cipher. He didn’t blame Blue for touching on it accidentally, but it didn’t stop his mind from wandering to it and thinking too much about it. He tried to control himself; he was safe now with Two.
“I’m sorry,” Blue said.
Ri, Two called softly, trying to get him to snap out of it.
I’m – Ri responded, out of it. He felt Two pull him in close; it helped to ground him and remind him he was at home and completely out of danger. He sighed, trying to let go of it. I’m – OK, he reiterated. When Ri felt stabilized, Two finally turned to Blue.
It’s not your fault, he said.
Blue just remained silent and kept along pacing; Ri understood he was just trying to let him be. He appreciated it; he needed the moment.
No boats, Two repeated softly; Ri sensed he didn’t even voice it to Blue. Ri knew how it was; the stuff he’d been through was traumatic to Two, too. Ri had been lost, but Two had lost him; Two’s reaction to Blue was as much for his own self-defense as it was to help protect Ri. Ri nuzzled against him again to help comfort him and reassure him he was still with him; Two seemed to settle down a bit and relax around him.
In Two’s embrace Ri tried to calm down, and turned his mind back to looking over things they could do as a group in Vermilion. Memories lingered in the back of his mind, however; they weren’t easy to dispel when they worked their way into Ri’s conscious mind. He wanted to let go and have fun with Two and their friends, but they subtly threatened him constantly with flashbacks and relapses until he managed to feel secure again. He hoped that going out and having fun would help distract him and that the people would let him and Two feel safe.
We should be relatively safe in Vermilion, Two suggested. At least – there should be less hostility than there was in Cerulean. He sounded bitter about it; Ri understood what he was trying to say and why he was apprehensive about mentioning it in detail. In response, Blue paused in his pacing for a moment but then continued on silently. It would’ve gone unnoticed by Ri and Two except for being able to sense his interest in what Two was saying then realizing that it was better to let it go. Ri further sensed Two appreciated that he backed off, but he sensed Two wondered about it, too. He settled quietly while he waited for Two to bring it up.
I suppose… if it does not define me then I do not have to worry about sharing it, Two said, apprehensively.
You don’t – have to, either, Ri suggested.
I… feel like I need to try, Two asserted. Ri sensed how it was; it was a sort of ‘personal feat’ for Two, a way for him to show himself that it all didn’t bother him so much anymore.
OK, Ri said. I’m here for you, I care for you.
Thank you, Two said, softly. Ri sensed how Two appreciated it; he was thankful he was able to help Two feel better as Two prepared himself to open up to Blue a little bit.
I didn’t – attack Vermilion like I did Cerulean and the other nearby cities. It is less likely for the people there to… despise me because I never attacked them, Two explained to Blue. This made him stop in his tracks again to consider it.
“… Thank you for explaining,” Blue said.
… Sure, Two said, awkwardly. It had been more for him than for Blue, Ri understood, and Two was still being fairly awkward anyway.
“But – isn’t Vermilion closer than Cerulean?” Blue wondered out loud.
Vermilion was vital for Team Rocket… Giovanni wouldn’t want me to attack it. He had it under control anyway, Two said, with an edge of self-disgust in his voice. He tried to let it go, though, as Ri started worrying about him. He’d started to squeeze Ri a little bit, but he seemed to notice and back off and nearly start to panic until he sensed Ri was OK. He squeezed Ri again but reassuringly this time; Ri knew Two cared dearly about him and always felt bad for scaring him.
Ri sensed the guilt Two still felt for being that pokemon and the way he despised his participation in Giovanni’s plots, but it was wrapped in confusion about what it meant for who he was now, too. Ri felt bad for him; he couldn’t just feel guilty, he had to feel guilty and suffer as he struggled to accept it and define himself understanding that it was a part of him but that it didn’t entirely define him, either.
“Giovanni sounds like an evil person,” Blue said.
The leader of Team Rocket, Two said, He… was, he emphasized. He was… the person who funded my creation and the one who tried to use me to take control of Kanto.
Two, Ri called out, trying to draw Two away from this stuff. He knew it was important, but at the same time, he didn’t want Two to get caught up in it when they were looking forward to doing stuff together.
– Right, Two remembered, snapping out of it. I need to let go of it, he asserted, this time to let Blue know to stop asking and let it go too. Blue went back to pacing, waiting for Red, emphasizing that it was starting to feel like it was taking forever for Red to be ready. Two relaxed around Ri again but pulled him in close; Ri was happy to be close to him. Ri sensed he wasn’t in the greatest mood, though; it was a discouraging start to their visit out.
Thanks, Two said, a touch dejected.
Of course, Ri said, pulling his paw from his laptop to take Two’s arm around his chest. They ended up spending some time lying in their shared dejection; they’d learned that they needed to give feelings like that time to assert themselves and work through them a little bit; they needed to let themselves feel it so they didn’t repress it and break down worse in the future. They ended up appreciating the time Red was using up, but they were thankful too as they finally sensed Red coming down the hallway from the practice gym.
“–what happened here?” Red said, as he came out to see Ri and Two and Blue being rather miserable together. He sounded concerned but at the same time he seemed a bit miffed; it grated on Ri a bit but he kind of understood how it was for Red to walk in on them being this way, too.
We’re just being… us, Ri said. It was rather depressing for him to admit, but he and Two were at least able to show Red.
“Conflicted about visiting Vermilion,” Blue tried to explain.
“Do – you want to come with me, then?” Red wondered out loud. He seemed discouraged by it too – and somewhat frustrated by it at the same time. Ri didn’t really like it; there wasn’t much they could do about it but it didn’t mean they didn’t want to go.
Yes we do, just give us a moment! Two snapped.
“ – Sorry,” Red said, intimidated out of the slight indignation he felt.
– I – Two said, backing down immediately, realizing what he’d said.
“Just… take your time,” Red said, deflated. “I trust you guys.”
Red turned around and let them alone, making Ri and Two feel worse about it. Two especially was out of it; Ri gave him the time he needed to settle down from his outburst. The situation was strange: Red was excited about this, and he’d come out to Ri and Two being apprehensive about it and insecure because of it. They believed they could withstand it – they were working their way out of it – but it didn’t change that Red had come out and seen them be that way. It wasn’t totally fair of Red to treat them the way he did, but it wasn’t totally fair of them to be the way they were being, either. Like usual… the blame lay a little with all of them. Ri sensed Two want to discuss a bit when he settled down; he waited, open to listen.
I do look forward to this trip, Two assured Ri.
I do too, Ri reflected back. He was thankful they managed to keep it.
Red… still can be a little hard to live with, Two mentioned.
Yeah… Ri agreed. But… it’s better.
Two seemed to agree back.
I appreciate him sticking with us, Two said.
I do too, Ri agreed.
Before they were used to the idea of liking Red and Blue around, they would’ve been very careful with saying stuff like that. But – as they let Red and Blue into their lives they learned what the difference was between mates and friends a little bit. And – as they learned about themselves, they realized they needed to form some amount of reliance on themselves which enabled them to be less dependent on each other. It was hard but they were trying.
They spent a little while longer preparing themselves – knowing the time they needed to leave was very near and almost already passed, they picked themselves up and decompressed relatively easily, stabilizing their moods and putting everything that had happened behind them a little bit. They still had to retrieve Red, though, since he seemed to be waiting for them in his room. They let Blue know they were going to fetch him, and, regretting having to let go of Two, Ri got up, and Two got up behind him. They made their way to Red’s room and knocked, preparing themselves to face whatever it was he was thinking and feeling inside.
“Red?” he asked out loud, to make sure Red knew it was him and Two. The door opened and Ri saw Red standing just inside looking toward them. Red was their friend, but… sometimes it was hard. Ri didn’t want to give up on it, though, and he sensed Two didn’t want to, either. Stuff like this happened sometimes, they learned to be able to withstand it. It didn’t ruin them anymore, which was the important part. Red was a little more understanding too, so it didn’t seem so difficult to approach him like this as it once did.
“What is it?” Red asked, fairly calmly.
We’re… ready to go, Ri said. He said it confidently, which was a relief and a comfort to be able to do, especially with the added weight it held.
“OK,” Red said. “I’ll be right out.”
OK, Ri said. Ri and Two turned to wait a little longer in the living room for Red, but –
“Wait,” Red said. Ri and Two turned back around to listen, surprised by the sudden call. “I am sorry,” he said.
– We are too, Ri said back. It was enough; Red closed the door and Ri and Two went back out to the living room. It was enough; they didn’t really need more from him.
“He…” Blue started, apparently confused by the complexity of the exchange they’d just shared with Blue, especially since he could only sense Ri and Two’s half of it.
He was excited, saw us being… the way we usually are, threatening ruining a trip out, Two said shortly but not… unkindly. We were alarmed by his quick judgement of the situation. Sometimes… it escalates a little too quickly, he admitted, guiltily. Ri nudged him to try to help him; Two smiled slightly in appreciation, then managed to hold it as they let go and turned ahead to trying to enjoy themselves in Vermilion again. Ri shared it, happy to look forward again instead of getting caught up. They waited in the living room for Red, standing together with Blue since they finally anticipated him showing up very soon. Ri soon sensed him emerging from his room and they anticipated him coming out, preparing themselves for the trip they were about to share. It was exciting, but it couldn’t help being scary, too, and Ri just hoped that he and Two would get to have fun.
When Red appeared he seemed calm and relaxed; Ri guessed he was warmed up and prepared from his practice in the gym. He’d sensed Red performing his various kinds of attacks, wondering a little why he was exerting himself before his battle, especially when he could expect to have to battle several trainers before getting to reach Omar, but he understood, too. It helped him pass the time and it helped him feel ready when he’d nearly been defeated by Misty in his last gym battle. Now that he’d revealed he could manipulate his opponents to see whatever he wanted, he had to be much more careful with it.
“I’m ready,” he said. Ri looked at him, looking between Red and Blue and gauging how they felt.
OK, he said. We are too.
“Let’s get to it then,” Red said. “I’ve never met Omar; this is going to be new for all of us.”
The thought of meeting the new electric-type gym leader was indeed worrying for Ri and Two, but they also hoped that Omar would be able to approach them without any prior judgement, not treating them like friends like Misty tried but also not treating them like they were enemies like they worried other people would do. Whatever it was – they had to meet him to follow Red through his Challenge, so they sighed together, following Red and Blue out of their house through their old gym. Closing up behind them, Ri and Two turned into the morning coastal Cinnabar air, practically dripping with the smell of saltwater all around and into the day lit up with the bright morning sun. It was refreshing, Ri supposed, but he much preferred places like the forest and especially at night, when the air was cooler and the sun wasn’t out. It was pleasant, at least, as they got their bearings and guessed where they had to go. Once everyone gave their OK, Two floated them up, then started flying them all toward Vermilion City. This was the worst part of visiting a new city (aside from all the people); they couldn’t teleport to a place they hadn’t seen so they had to withstand the buffeting, chilly winds while Two sped them to their destination so they arrived relatively promptly. Their fur helped a bit at least, but it almost didn’t make a difference when air blasted through their fur as quickly as it did when Two was flying. At the very least, Two could protect them enough so that they could look down at Kanto as they flew over it. It was fascinating, getting to see Kanto from high up like this; Ri didn’t really tire of it. He supposed too that he and Two didn’t fly like this often enough for it to get old. Kanto was laid out under them, though, and Ri could even almost see Rota in the north, but he focused on Kanto and on their destination, Vermilion. The first thing he saw was Fuchsia City and the Safari Zone just north of it, but he didn’t really want to think about that until it was time for him and Two to deal with it. He looked ahead to Vermilion in the distance, with its ports and markets. Nothing was really discernable yet, but Ri kind of saw how the place interfaced with the sea and anticipated it being busy because of it. He guessed there would be a lot of people from around the world there, but he supposed that there were more likely to be people from different regions visiting than there used to be. It would be exciting for Blue, he supposed, and at the same time he hoped it meant that he and Two wouldn’t have so much of a problem as they worried about if a sizeable portion of the community weren’t natively Kantoan. At the same time, it felt like there could be more people who would try to hurt them, and the nearby boats – Ri shuddered as well as he could supported and restrained by Two’s power. Two was with him this time, so he was sure he would be safe, but still memories loomed in the back of his mind, and he didn’t know what he would’ve done if he were somehow captured again.
He tried to cast it aside as they approached and the city started to become easier to see. They were there because Red wanted to share his Gym Challenge with them, and they were there to have fun once Red challenged Omar. Ri managed to feel safe in Pallet, Veridian, and even in Pewter and Cerulean; he hoped he and Two would manage it in Vermilion, too. He tried to sense how Two was doing too, since poor Two was lost in thought himself. Still fresh from visiting the lab, memories of Two’s past ran through his head. His felt his own dislike toward the humans, and had his own questions and insecurities about his place and how visiting Vermilion was going to be. It made Ri wonder a bit: did Red really understand how difficult it was for them to visit a place like this? Aside from the overwhelming presence of auras which could easily overstimulate Ri if he wasn’t careful, they both had all sorts of personal baggage that made it a huge emotional hurtle to overcome. He knew it was difficult for himself too, but he felt bad for Two, and hoped that he could figure things out so that he didn’t have to question himself so much whenever he had to face people. Ri thought he was an adorable, kind pokemon… he hoped Two would learn to let himself be that pokemon despite regretting being a monster in the past.
Ri sensed as Two noticed and surfaced from his train of thought. Ri rather regretted pulling Two out of it, but at the same time they had to be careful with overthinking. Instead – Two was able to reflect over the thinking he’d done instead of being stuck in the mindset Ri’d pulled him out of.
– Basketcases, Two said, rather playfully. It was a little old, but he liked to carefully tease Ri with it since Ri had come up with it to describe them at a time when they felt they were falling apart and desperately needed each other’s support along with that of Red and Blue’s forgiveness and understanding. They saw shadows of that time sometimes when they paid attention; it was a reminder that they weren’t able to properly take in and navigate the problems that happened around them.
At least we’re trying, Ri said, taking in the extent of things that were going on in their life at the moment.
It’s still a lot harder than we thought.
… We’ll try our best to have fun, Ri said, trying to counter what Two was saying. It was discouraging thinking how difficult it was just to be ‘normal’ pokemon; they needed to focus on their willingness to try more so than the relatively little progress they felt they made.
Yeah, Two agreed. I also need to focus to make sure I don’t drop any of you, he teased.
I need to just… remain calm, Ri figured. It was almost like a battle; he could become overwhelmed if he didn’t consciously maintain an effort to keep himself centered.
I need to – hold back, Two admitted. Again, I snapped at Red so quickly.
Ri realized that was on Two’s mind too. Two was quick to be defensive – especially when it came to Ri. Ri appreciated him being willing to protect him, but he agreed that Two could sometimes snap when it wasn’t right for him to.
He seemed to understand, Ri offered.
It doesn’t change that I need to grow, Two said, seriously. Ri understood; they couldn’t let themselves get away with not being good friends.
It’s – Ri poked, but he had difficulty getting the thought out as he felt it made Two look bad.
I understand, Two said. I watched you learn you needed to grow but didn’t realize that I needed to do it to for too long.
Ri felt bad for Two; in his awkward way he was insecure about it – he felt bad about it but he had a hard time expressing it. He wanted to cuddle into Two and reassure him, but it was impossible in mid-air like this.
… I care, Two said resolutely. I will figure it out.
… You’re a good pokemon, Ri said. It was a little awkward for him; he wanted to let Two know how much he cared and wanted to help, but he ended up letting Two sense it.
Thank you, Two said, encompassing everything Ri was thinking. He softened up; Ri sensed him warming up from Ri being adorable. Ri wasn’t particularly trying, but he was happy he ended up helping Two let go and remember about the fun they wanted to have in Vermilion. It was hard and scary to Ri for it to be a little awkward between him and Two, but he loved Two, and trusted Two loved him back; he understood that they were growing, learning about themselves again, and he trusted that they cared enough about each other to stick with each other and help each other through it. At the very least, Two feeling better encouraged Ri and helped him to feel a little more sure, just as they were approaching Vermilion.
It looked like a lively city up close, and Ri sensed the familiar jumble of auras ahead of him of millions of people going about their days. He had to ignore it; he tried focusing on finding the various markets he expected to explore with Two, Red, and Blue, and tried to recognize the Gym from the many buildings he saw.
Vermilion wasn’t a huge city, but it had the urban qualities that Ri was familiar with from Veridian, Pewter, and less so Cerulean. City blocks, all tending to reach upward to fit more people in the same space. A prominent – though small – area of relatively high-rise buildings that made up the financial/business center of the city. Various surrounding suburbs for all the people who wanted to have the city experience but didn’t want to commit to it 24/7. On top of that, the port which managed all sorts of ships and people and goods. In a detached state, Ri thought it was kind of cool but he wanted nothing to do with it. The markets, which Ri’d remarked before. It was all there; Vermilion was definitely a small modern city.
As Two lowered them down, Ri sensed excitement build within both Red and Blue. He felt the excitement, but he felt the anxiety along with it too, and knew Two was feeling similar things too. He considered trying to navigate them straight to the Gym, but figured it didn’t make sense to try before they touched down. Aside from the GPS likely being confused until they were on the ground again, it was difficult maneuvering when Two’s power was lifting him. His body never acted like he expected it to when Two was applying his power to it, and he didn’t want to hurt himself or make anything hard on Two who’d already admitted it could be difficult concentrating to make sure they were all safe. He waited until he was safe on the ground, then teleported himself his phone so he could get them straight to the pokemon center without trying to guess where it could be.
“It seems like this place changed too,” Red said, now that he could finally talk without yelling. “It wasn’t as big when I visited the first time.”
Seems like a common theme, Two pointed out factually. It’s been 10 years at least since you last toured Kanto.
“10 years…” The thought seemed to affect Red; Ri hoped it wouldn’t be too distracting for him while he navigated to the Gym. Once his phone calculated their route he was happy to see it wasn’t too far away; upon checking the time he’d noticed that they were brushing up pretty close to the time around which they’d let Omar know to expect them.
It’s not too far, he said, already moving to take the lead. Two chose a lucky place to land, the Gym is pretty easy to get to from this side of the city.
Good to know, Two said. Ri noticed the tone he used – slightly playful like ‘I don’t even have to try to be smart to be smart,’ and glanced at him knowingly, finding his mate cute for the slight show of smugness. Two expressed his satisfaction inwardly, but Ri was able to sense it and move on, leading the others into the city.
Getting into Vermilion City wasn’t as convoluted as taking boats into Cerulean, but it still wasn’t direct. They had to cross over the main road into the city to get to the Gym but there at least was a bridge so they didn’t have to endanger themselves with traffic. It was rather amusing, Ri had to admit, to think of all the humans in their cars and trucks looking up to see 4 pokemon walking over them while they were stuck in traffic. And – witnessing the nightmare of stop’n’go traffic below them made Ri greatly appreciate Two’s quick, direct, traffic-free flight. Ri honestly appreciated a lot about being a pokemon when he thought about what it was like for humans; he had powers, an innate ability to protect himself and his mate, fur, and an ability to understand both humans and pokemon, all of which he greatly appreciated. He didn’t think about it often, but it came up at times like this when he saw how his life could be inconvenient if he didn’t have such powers – or, really, a mate who did.
As they approached the gym on their left, they tried to take the city in a little bit. In some ways it was better for Ri to immerse himself into a city than it was to hang on the outside and experience the whole thing as one entity, but at the same time, he couldn’t look anywhere and find rest from sensing many different auras. He had to try to ignore it, and he focused on navigating to the gym to do so. He did glean some details, mostly from Two – they were going straight for the city center so the buildings quickly towered above them. It made even Two feel small, and the way they were rather densely packed in this area of the city got to him, too. Ri sensed thoughts of Rocket running through his mind; Rocket had been disbanded years ago but it was a shady organization; no one could ever be sure that it truly died. Despite his assurances that they’d be safer, ghosts of Two’s past still haunted him. Ri felt bad for him, but he forged ahead, hoping that getting to the gym would help, at least in the short-term.
Besides the size of the buildings, Ri sensed Two notice the state of them. They were clean, technically, but it was usually hard for a city not to seem dirty and lived-in. The cars driving by them were rather unnerving; Ri and Two had managed to drive one together once but were relatively unfamiliar with them. And – they had to try relatively hard to stick together. At least among the cities of Kanto they visited, Vermilion was the largest and most active, with many people walking up and down the sidewalk around Ri, Two, Red, and Blue. They had to watch out for themselves and their friends to make sure they didn’t get lost; Ri and Two and Blue at least all had senses to help themselves keep track of each other and watch out for any potential danger.
As Ri came upon the Gym, he hoped that, for at least a little while, they could put all that stuff behind them for a bit. He stopped in front of it as he waited for Two, Red, and Blue to collect their bearings, and tried to take notice of what it looked like for once. It was labelled with a large pokeball symbol in yellow, designating it as the Electric type gym of the region. Otherwise, the building was fairly ordinary. It kind of surprised Ri – he thought that his and Two’s gym was the odd one out for being rather nondescript – but he guessed it was kind of usual for the gyms of Kanto. He sensed a battle going on inside, and he hoped that it was a trainer against Omar so Red could get to his challenge quickly. Aside from that, he sensed a usual cohort of trainers inside tasked with testing a challenger before they even reached the leader, and he guessed there would be some sort of puzzle for Red in usual Kanto style. Ri wondered what Omar would look for in a trainer; he had to admit to himself that he was kind of interested, even though he and Two had given up on being Gym leaders.
We’ve lived in our own bubble even while it was our job to pay attention, Two pointed out. It’s interesting seeing how our fellow gym leaders deal with a challenger.
Ri sighed; he understood that he and Two closed up and stuck to themselves for a long time. It was daunting, but opening up to the world again was something they were trying to do, at least in the long-run. At least, he figured that this little way of interacting with the world wasn’t too stressful on them; it went right along with the kinds of stuff they were interested in – especially since it didn’t overwhelm them to engage in it in this way.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“This looks the same,” Red mentioned. “I wonder if it’s the same inside, too.”
“I guess we’ll find out,” Blue said. “Will this be like Cerulean?”
“Probably,” Red said. “Most of the gyms in Kanto work the same way.”
“Why was yours different?” Blue wondered out loud, addressing Ri and Two.
We thought our own battle with the challenger was enough.
“Could it have been easier to have some kind of challenge to help with having too many challengers?”
–Maybe? Ri offered, sheepishly.
We would’ve needed to hire people we trusted and maintained the puzzle, Two countered, saving Ri the embarrassment of being pressed like that. It made sense to Ri; he couldn’t see himself or Two dealing with it.
“We could’ve helped you, I suppose,” Red offered.
We needed to let go of it, Ri said, starting to feel bothered by it. There was no going back; they’d given up on it. He trusted that it was a good idea for them to do, and it felt like their decision was drawing them toward where they needed to be; he didn’t want to regret letting go of the gym.
We should go on, Two suggested, pushing everyone to let go of the topic. Ri was happy to; he wanted to see what the place was like inside, and he was excited to get to the stuff they wanted to do afterward together. He let Red lead the way, though, since Red was the challenger, and he followed behind, leading Two and Blue in.
++++?
The place was dark; it surprised Ri as, for a moment, he couldn’t see anything. He nearly bumped into Red – except for sensing him and managing to stop before he walked straight into him. His eyes adjusted fairly quickly, though, and he could make out shapes in the darkness as he navigated beside Red so Two and Blue had room to come in behind him. There was a wall in front of them, he could see, with a doorway he guessed Red was going to go through. Beside it, under a dim lamp, stood a man, who seemed to notice them as they entered.
“Hello, welcome to the Vermilion Gym! I’m your guide, Voltaire, here to lead you on your way. Was it – pokemon, I saw coming through the door? Where’s your trainer?” The guide was confused, like he hadn’t expected pokemon to show up. Ri understood, but it still bothered him that it couldn’t just be accepted that pokemon might walk into a place unaccompanied by humans.
“I’m Red, I’m a challenger,” Red said, a little curtly.
“Red–” Voltaire drew out like he was trying to remember, “Oh yes, Omar mentioned you. It’s odd to see a pokemon challenging a Gym all by itself – and it’s rare to find pokemon who can speak.”
“You would find we’re all able to speak,” Red said, unamused. It really bothered Ri to hear Voltaire call Red an it; it took all the power he had not to yell at him for dehumanizing them. He felt his ears go back and his will buckle, but he kept it together, mostly because he recognized he was asserting it for Red’s sake by choosing to ignore the guy and didn’t want to make it difficult for Red. Two seemed to notice and tense up; Ri was relieved to not cause a problem and he was happy he managed to calm himself for Two’s sake. Two seemed bothered by it too, but… they both recognized that it wasn’t worth disrupting Red.
“Well, then –” Voltaire started awkwardly, “your task is ahead of you; you must navigate the maze in the dark with whatever tools you have at your disposal. Omar wants to see the spark of your determination; you will show it by overcoming the challenges ahead.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Red said confidently. Sounding like that – Ri guessed he wouldn’t have much of a problem.
“If you are the sole challenger, your friends will not be able to join you, but they will be allowed to watch and cheer on once you reach Omar.”
“I’ll see you guys when I reach Omar then,” Red said. He sounded excited and enthusiastic; Ri was happy, in some way, for him to be excited for this.
Have – fun, Ri said, a touch awkwardly.
“I hope it will be,” Red said.
“Don’t get lost,” Blue offered.
“I’ll find my way through,” Red assured.
With that, Voltaire opened the gate Ri guessed allowed trainers to shortcut back outside when they either won or lost. Blue was closest, so he started through and Ri and Two followed behind him, leaving Red to face the gym by himself. They followed along; it seemed to be separated from the main area so it was dimly lit, making it a little easier for them to be on their way. It was kind of funny, Ri thought, for an electric gym to have barely any light at all, but he guessed the point was that the challenger had to prove their own electricity, in a way – show how brightly they shone in the dark. Ri knew Red was pretty bright – at least when Ri and Two didn’t stop him from it – so he didn’t really worry, but he dreaded having to sense Red navigate the maze without being able to see him or have any idea what he was doing except by what he sensed from him. It became worse as the maze extended for a couple floors above them, making them guess Red would have a few challenges to overcome, until finally they came out into a brightly lit room which they guessed was Omar’s battlefield. As they came out, it seemed like his battle was just finishing, which was a relief for Ri, Two, and Blue.
“Ah, too bad,” Omar said, sounding genuinely apologetic. “You’ve got a spark – a charge that I saw and felt – but it wasn’t enough to overcome my resistance. Go – train up – make your spark brighter – and challenge again soon. I’m excited to see you truly shine!”
Ri guessed Omar’s enthusiastic tone was encouraging, but Ri found his commitment to the electricity metaphor cringy and sensed Two hurting inside because he actually understood how electricity worked and it seemed Omar didn’t. They tried to let it go, though, and hoped they wouldn’t have to bear it for long.
The trainer rushed past Ri, Two, and Blue, however, making Ri happy they were out of the way already. Omar watching the challenger escape to care for their pokemon naturally drew his attention to them, making Ri want to withdraw and his ears droop and tail swish in uncertainty while Omar looked them over.
“Ri, Two, it’s so electrifying to finally meet you! You hole yourselves up in that gym in Cinnabar, I always kind of wondered what sort of exciting stuff you get yourselves into.”
He started coming over to greet the three of them, making Ri tense up in panic as Omar approached as if he was going to hug them or touch them. He luckily didn’t have to assert himself; Omar never reached them and Ri realized Two dealt with it by glaring at Omar.
“–Alright then,” Omar said awkwardly, stepping back. “It’s still good to see you,” he continued, un-dissuaded from his mood. “I always admired the way you handled your gym, I can’t imagine what sort of spark you must have to dominate challengers time after time.”
Ri wondered even through the discomfort he felt: did Omar even know Two’s origin? He and Two had assumed that it was common knowledge, but Ri realized that if it was long enough, people might have known Two existed without the context of his origin or who he was before Red caught him. It was something to think about, he thought – basically, could Two engage the world some day without his history of terrorizing Kanto hanging over him? He hoped it could be that way, vaguely, at least underneath the uncomfortable-ness of dealing with this encounter with Omar. He realized they needed to say something, so he tried to make himself respond.
We’re strong, Ri said unenthused and hesitantly.
Once the initial uncertainty of the interaction with Omar wore off, Ri was able to look back and think over what Omar was like a little more even-headedly. Omar’s quick pace put Ri off a bit, especially when he seemed like he was trying to act like he was their friend already, and his presumptions of what Ri and Two did at home bothered him, making him feel guilty about what they did do. He just wanted to chill and have fun with Two; it wasn’t some constant search for thrill like Omar seemed to think it was. He tried to withstand it but it was a little overwhelming; he wanted out and hoped that Omar would either back off if they kept hinting they weren’t willing to interact like he wanted or that Red would arrive quickly so he would be distracted by the battle.
“I would love it if you showed me some time,” Omar responded, not seemingly figuring it out yet.
– Maybe, Ri managed to say, but he was already reaching his limit. It made him tense and uncomfortable; Omar seemed obligated to get to have a battle with them when Ri really didn’t want to.
“You’ve got a friend going through the gym right now, right? A gym challenger who’s a pokemon…” Omar hung on it for a little while, apparently considering its consequence.
“I’m excited to see what they have to offer; they must shine brightly if they can handle a gym all by themselves.”
He’s a strong Zoroark, Ri said.
“Zoroark… Misty told me about its trick during her battle –”
Red’s a he, Ri asserted. We’re not animals, we’re – Ri realized what he was doing; he caught himself and drooped in shame and guilt, looking at his mate, vulnerable and out of his depth already. Two seemed to hold back judgement; it mattered as much what happened after Ri did something like that as it did what happened in the first place.
“… I see you shine brightly, too. You’ve encountered much resistance; you must have much strength to overcome it.”
Ri felt exposed; he hated how Omar reduced the things he’d experienced to an analogy to electricity. He needed Two; luckily Two didn’t seem averse to come and hug him – practically hiding him from Omar since he was taller as he fought breaking down.
… He sees, Two said to Ri privately, but calmly. If we can’t control ourselves, we can’t hide what’s happened to us.
I know, Ri said weakly. I’m – he was sorry, but it was difficult for him to say.
It’s not OK, Two said, but I understand, let me help you.
Ri was happy to give himself to Two.
There’s a time for having fun with analogies; this isn’t it, Two asserted on Ri’s behalf. He turned suddenly bitter and hard, in an effort to protect himself and Ri.
“You fiercely protect – him,” Omar managed to say, hanging on Ri’s pronouns because he wasn’t used to it. “It seems humans have hurt you. I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive us.”
Two didn’t say anything, but Ri saw he was getting worked up, too.
This is why I have no right to judge you, Two said, darkly.
“Guys –” Blue said, in Lucario. Ri sensed him worry; he was trying to break through to them but it didn’t work as well as Red was able to.
“Do you speak as well, Lucario?”
Blue, Blue asserted telepathically, I have a name too. He sounded bothered too, like he didn’t want to be distracted from trying to help his friends.
“… My apologies. I might as well just leave you all alone; you’re welcome to wait and watch me fight your friend if you wish.”
… We’re here to watch our friend fight you, Blue said.
“… Fair enough.”
Omar disengaged them; Two let go of Ri and pulled him to the back of the arena so they were out of immediate sight and as hidden as possible as Omar waited for Red. He sat Ri down against the back wall, then sat down next to him, careful not to hurt his second neck. It took a few moments sitting overwhelmed, but Ri finally started to process what had happened.
… This is why we hole ourselves up, Ri said, discouraged.
… We always knew trying might get us hurt, Two commented.
I’m sorry, Ri said. I – he managed to say he was sorry, at least, but he still couldn’t handle much more than that.
It takes practice, Two comforted him. You’re better than you were; I’m thankful for your trying.
Ri took comfort in Two; he sighed to himself and drew from it to keep himself from getting worse. He sat in it for a little while, overwhelmed by how easily he was still… overwhelmed.
… I have no right to judge you, Two said again, as he seemed to be going over it in his head. I’m as broken a pokemon as you are. You break down, I…
The ease and casual-ness Two called Ri broken surprised him, but he didn’t really mind; he knew it. He felt bad about it though; he hated being the reason Two got worked up and aggressive. He didn’t want to put his mate in positions that made him aggressive anymore.
I don’t want to be aggressive like that anymore, Two admitted, but… at least I’m aggressive to protect you. There’s other, less worthy things I could get upset over.
Ri remained silent, impressed by Two’s ability to go over things in his head. Two was thinking: he wasn’t. At the same time, though, he started to realize: Two was thinking, but he wasn’t processing. He wanted to help Two; he wanted to draw it out of him.
How do you feel? Ri emphasized weakly, recognizing what was happening.
I’m… This was much more difficult for Two to process. He spent a little while thinking about it – removing the walls. I have no right to be upset at you, Two asserted. But I think I’m at least as upset at Omar.
Two… Ri called. He still felt guilty; Two had admitted, sideways, that he was upset at Ri. Whatever Two said was fair or not fair… Ri had made him upset.
And myself, Two qualified.
Two, Ri pleaded, this time for Two’s sake.
… If I’m a pokemon who cares, what do I care for? Two wondered out loud. I care for you. I know that. That’s why I’m protective of you. But I don’t want to be aggressive anymore, I care about that too. How do I reconcile those two things?
… I don’t know, Ri admitted. He was at a loss; he was too out of it himself to be able to help Two anymore. He wanted to, though; he realized it wasn’t a great place for him to be.
… I’m sorry, Two said, You need me.
Two leaned against Ri; Ri didn’t know how to feel about it. He appreciated Two helping him, of course, but Ri didn’t want to do it to Two anymore.
… I want to stop doing this to you, Ri said, guiltily. He hated falling apart on Two; he knew he needed to stop.
I know, Two said, I believe you.
I’m… sorry.
It’s OK, Two said softly. This time… I mean it.
… Thank you, always, Ri said, reflecting Two’s soft, tender mood.
You know I love you.
I love you too, Ri said.
He thought about it; he didn’t think Two should feel bad for opening himself up. Ri had asked him to. It lingered in his mind as he and Two cuddled as close as they felt comfortable. Blue sat down beside them eventually; Ri sensed his support even if he didn’t really say or do anything. Aside from that, Two feeling guilty for something Ri had asked him to do ate at Ri, so he pulled himself to address it.
I don’t think you should feel guilty, Ri said, I’d asked you to pay attention to yourself.
I know, Two said. Thank you, he continued softly; Ri was happy he appreciated it. It means a lot to me.
The slight praise helped Ri feel better; it helped him feel like he was doing better. He cared for Two… he recognized that, until now, he’d usually gotten caught up in himself and forgot about Two. He was happy he was learning to pay attention to Two more, even through his own events.
… I have to learn to let it be OK to let you handle yourself, Two admitted. I’m here for you, of course, but… I need to remember that I need to consider myself, too. If it’s wrong for me to get aggressive… I need to learn to stop myself and trust you.
Yeah, Ri agreed. It brought things he didn’t like up in his mind – he’d made Two repress himself to help him. I’ll… try to help, Ri said.
You did try, Two pointed out. Thank you.
I – Ri let it go. There was nothing wrong with Two being thankful for something he deserved from Ri, but he didn’t like that he’d made it something Two had to be thankful for. He was trying to change; he’d asserted that already so it felt like they’d run out of things to discuss at the moment, at least as it came to the encounter with Omar.
Also… Two started, there’s nothing wrong with asserting yourself. You need to… learn how to do it without self-destructing.
I understand, Ri said weakly. He knew, but he appreciated Two reassuring him. It’s hard, I don’t know how yet.
That’s why I’m here until you figure out how to handle it yourself, Two said.
Thank you, Ri said. He meant it as earnestly as he could; he understood now how much Two put himself aside for Ri’s sake.
You’re my mate, Two said, simply.
I want to make sure you can care for yourself too, Ri asserted. He felt Two look at him; it wasn’t a bad look, just – Ri was being able to assert something calmly, saying it without wrecking himself, and Two noticed. It was because Ri trusted Two; he didn’t feel like he had to compromise himself to ask from Two anything he needed.
I appreciate it too, Two said, settling back down beside him.
You’re my mate, Ri said.
You’re also adorable~ Two cooed, more like ‘himself.’ It was a relief for Two to be cute; it helped ease the tension and helped Ri forget the stuff that had bothered him. It showed that Two was content and happy, too; Ri hadn’t bothered him too much. He smiled a bit, which Two seemed to like; Ri was happy Two was feeling better too and Two lightened up in return.
The situation seemed to be over; Ri felt better and it seemed like Two was doing OK, leaning against him. Ri appreciated his closeness, even with Omar just in front of them. With his own and Two’s own immediate problems dealt with, there was nothing much to do but reflect on what had caused their misery in the first place: Omar. It brought back a bit of the pain Ri and Two had just tried to manage but at least Ri could reflect on it a little more calmly safe with Two at his side.
Ri knew people tended to use “it” to address pokemon. He hated it, and wished everyone would just treat them like people. He supposed most pokemon didn’t feel dehumanized by it, but for him and Two it was a matter of being treated like equals. Ri was a he like Omar was a he: somebody with thoughts, feelings, an identity. Two was, Blue was, Red was, any pokemon was. Ri couldn’t stand that identity being compromised. It had been taken from him and it had been beyond difficult for him to reclaim it and he’d been terrible to Two as he drowned without one. Two had convinced him to trust that he was worth something and bit by bit he reclaimed his identity – until now, when he finally started being some resemblance of the pokemon he was before Cipher took it from him. He needed his identity to be respected; that was why it was so hard on him for Omar to call Red an it. Whether it was fair or not… he didn’t know. He was aware he could be unfair because of his problems; it bothered him now, but admittedly not as much as it should’ve. He didn’t really care that he’d snapped at Omar except for how hard it was on Two – and how difficult it might end up being for Red when he finally showed up. On top of that, the way he’d broken down on Two and the way Two had dealt with it – they were pokemon with problems. They didn’t always deal with them healthily… it was becoming more and more apparent to Ri and Two as they started to understand more about themselves and as they wanted to stop being unhealthy. Ri wasn’t totally sure how they’d fix the behaviors they’d developed, but he hoped that he and Two could manage together while they figured out how to be healthy. It bothered Ri that he’d broken down on Two… that was the first step toward stopping being unfair to his mate. And Two… Two seemed to recognize he dealt with Ri unhealthily too. He had his own problems that he was just starting to take ownership and control of again; Ri didn’t want to stop him and keep him from them, he wanted to be supportive and even help Two fix them. He wasn’t always able to, though, and it bothered him. He was happy that he and Two seemed to be able to smooth it over – it helped reassure him that he and Two were close, loving, caring mates – but at the same time… they needed to work through this stuff and it was scary thinking about facing it all. He knew he wanted to be a healthy mate to Two at the other end of it; he sensed Two wanted the same, and he hoped that that would help them work through it for and with each other.
Being able to sit with Two was calming, at least, behind Omar where they weren’t being watched or judged. Ri was able to let everything settle down and Two was able to calm down and let his guard down again. It was good they were able to let go a little bit and remember why they were there.
Ri realized he hadn’t thought about how Red was doing at all; he’d gotten completely distracted by Omar then by his own problems and then with worrying about himself and Two. He felt guilty about it, but he needed to swallow it down this time to fix it. Blue seemed to perk up, realizing he was resurfacing, and Two seemed to notice too. Ri paid attention to what his mate was thinking, first; Two was wondering still a lot of the same sorts of things he was, but accompanied by his own doubts about who he was and what he cared for and coming to terms with having to let go of Ri a bit to take back himself. It ate at Ri’s mind; he was Two’s mate. He felt like a terrible mate; he knew he should’ve enabled Two but that wasn’t what he did at all. He just knew… he couldn’t fall apart on Two again because of it. He mustered himself and moved on, understanding that now he was trying to be better, comforted a bit because it seemed like he was. He turned his attention away as he saw Two resurface too; it was time for them to move on.
“Red’s been doing pretty well,” Blue mentioned as they shifted, and repositioned so that Ri was leaning against Two instead.
Thanks for paying attention for us, Ri said. He took a moment to sense Red; he seemed to be managing. He was navigating the third level of the maze; Ri wondered if he and Two had been dissociated that long or if Red had plowed through the maze that quickly. Whichever the case, he was happy he was getting through, and he hoped Red would appear soon so the awkward silence with Omar could end.
“There hasn’t been – much else to do,” Blue admitted. “You both… I’ve sensed and seen you with the Mewtwo on my world but I didn’t realize it was like this.”
We have problems, Ri said. He shuffled next to Two, made uncomfortable by the thought of how dysfunctional he and his mate were, but it was a fact he and Two could accept.
We’re trying to figure them out, Two drew out.
“I understand a little more why it’s so difficult for you to go out.” Ri wasn’t watching, but he could practically feel Blue’s eyes on him and Two. Unlike Two, Blue looking at them felt revealing and vulnerable. Ri trusted Blue wasn’t really upset with them, but it wasn’t like how it felt for Two to stare into him.
We don’t know how to change it, Ri said. We don’t want it to be like this.
“The people around you need to understand how it is for you too,” Blue said. “It wasn’t like Omar meant to hurt you, he didn’t understand that he was bothering you.”
That was hard for Ri to take. He couldn’t help feeling attacked, and it bothered him feeling so upset for something somebody else didn’t really mean in a bad way. It mattered to him, though; he didn’t want to let go of it at all.
We deserve to be respected, Ri said, in an awkward attempt to defend himself and Two.
“… I understand,” Blue said. He didn’t totally seem happy about it, but Ri was thankful he let it be. Blue was still learning about them, but while he was less broken than they were, he still understood their pain.
Red’s not going to be too happy with us, Two pointed out.
There’s… not much we can do about that, Ri said, resigning himself to however Red was going to react to them. He knew that his and Two’s tendency to self-destruct weighed on Red. He knew he and Two had managed to control themselves this time, but they were on the slope that led them there, and Red was observant enough to see when it was happening.
“You’ve put yourselves together a little at least,” Blue offered.
Still can’t deal with him, Ri said, talking about Omar. He glanced at Omar awkwardly, and saw him turned away even though Blue had started speaking in Lucario behind him.
“He seems to have figured it out,” Blue said, looking up at Omar following Ri’s line of sight.
He was excited to meet us, Ri realized out loud. He sighed to himself self-pityingly, returning his gaze down to the floor in front of him. I wonder what he thinks of us now.
“–Do I?”
No, Ri said. Let him tell us if he wants.
Blue backed off, letting it be. He was still learning how to respect his senses; Lucario could peek fairly intimately into a person’s mind if they looked, but Ri didn’t think it was respectful. Even with Omar Ri just let it be – at least as long as he sensed he and Two were safe sitting there and waiting for Red to appear.
He said you were strong, Two said. I don’t like how he said it, but… he did.
Ri shuddered, remembering. He glanced at his mate and found him looking back at him, but he didn’t hold it this time, though he didn’t mind Two looking at him or looking back at him. Not everything is an electricity analogy, he commented.
No, Two agreed.
“You guys appreciate sincerity,” Blue pointed out. “You expect others to treat things with respect.”
There’s a balance, Ri half-agreed. Some things don’t need to be serious.
But things that are serious deserve to be treated seriously, Two continued.
“I understand,” Blue agreed. His attitude changed suddenly and he looked across the battlefield to where it seemed Red would appear from. “I think –”
Ri sensed what Blue was sensing; it was Red, emerging from the darkness. Ri saw him on the far side of the gym, squinting in the intense light after spending so long in the dark. Ri realized it was starting to wear on him; he didn’t like everything being so intensely bright all the time, and the light warmed him through his dark fur and started to make him uncomfortable. He was happy to see Red, at least, but it reminded him of how poorly he and Two had dealt with Omar, and he hoped that Red wouldn’t be too upset about it. He felt guilty about it, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. He’d already made his best effort to repair the situation with Two.
“Ah, I see you’ve finally worked your way through the maze. You must have some spark in you to overcome it, but is it enough to overcome the resistance of my skill in battle? I’m excited to find out! Welcome, Red, to Vermilion Gym! I’m honored to host a pokemon gym-challenger.”
The use of the electricity analogy grated at Ri and Two; they were getting sick of it pretty quickly, especially with how Omar had used it with Ri earlier. Red looked unamused as well; Ri couldn’t imagine having to bear it if everyone in the gym was so adamant about electricity.
“Drop the electricity crap, I’m sick of hearing it from everyone I’ve battled. If you want to test my ‘voltage,’ be prepared for me to unleash my ‘current’ because I’m sick of these analogies.”
“–Alright,” Omar said. “I try to keep it light but I suppose not everyone appreciates it… I’ll battle you, Red, I expect a great battle from you!”
“I’m happy to oblige,” Red said, this time sounding more directly excited. He seemed pumped from his battles aside from the incessant electricity analogies; it was a good thing. And – Ri appreciated Omar dropping the pretense. He was aware that it looked rather poor for him and Two to be sitting in the back basically trying to hide from Omar but as he and Two and Blue stood up to watch, he hoped Red was distracted enough not to notice. They made their way to the side of the battlefield between Red and Omar, and stuck to the sidelines hoping they wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire of the battle.
“Misty let me know about your Illusion ability,” Omar taunted. “It won’t fool me like it did her!”
“You wouldn’t know until I’ve won,” Red deflected. “I’d hope I don’t need it, anyway.”
It was apparent Red was already starting to tire, though. When a trainer had a full team of pokemon, battling through the puzzles wasn’t too much of a problem. Red was alone, though, and had to manage all that before reaching the hardest, toughest battle at the end. Ri almost thought it was a little unfair, but Red wanted to prove himself.
“Show me, then! Electabuzz, let’s battle!” Omar brought out an Electabuzz, who appeared proudly in front of him. Ri guessed he’d been the one who wiped the last challenger’s team; Ri wondered if Omar had started with Electabuzz or if he was letting his other pokemon rest and hoped to wipe Red out quickly. In either case – Omar hoped to be done with the battle soon, Ri sensed.
“Alright, let’s battle! Electabuzz, Low Sweep!”
Ri wasn’t expecting the immediate fighting-type move, but he was sure Red could handle it. He’d trained with Ri and Two, after all.
“That’s not gonna –” Red started, but he got cut off as he was attacked. He managed to dodge the attack and retaliated with a quick Night Daze; against a non-fighting type, Red had the advantage. It threw Electabuzz back, giving Red a moment to collect himself. Once Electabuzz was up, before Omar could respond, Red charged with a Night Slash, responding with his own close-range attack.
“Block it with Thunder Punch!”
Electabuzz primed his arm, wheeling it a couple times to electrify it and punch and catch Red’s Night Slash. It deflected Red backward, but thankfully he seemed unharmed.
“Follow up again with Low Sweep!”
Omar was determined to hit with that move; Ri knew it could slow Red down if Electabuzz managed to hit. Red needed to rely on his speed; he needed to dodge those attacks. He managed to jump out of the way, and responded with Night Slash, making contact this time and throwing Electabuzz back once again.
“My, you’re quick! I wanted to slow you down but maybe that won’t be possible. Volt Switch, let’s go!”
Electabuzz rushed Red with a quick dash, managing to make contact before Red could dodge. He used the force of the impact to rush back to Omar, and suddenly he was switched out with a Jolteon.
“Jolteon, surprise him with Quick Attack!”
Jolteon sped forward, nearly vanishing in the speed of her attack. She hit Red straight in the chest, throwing him back.
“Thunder fang!”
Omar and Jolteon tried to catch Red before he could react, but luckily Red was able to use Night Slash again to divert Jolteon as she jumped at him to bite him before he got up. Ri noticed Omar was still trying to hinder Red, but Red was too fast; Omar couldn’t hit him to hinder him.
“You’re stronger than I expected, Ri and Two must have trained you well!”
Red had a lot of his own experience and skill, Ri thought, but it wasn’t worth it pointing it out. He knew it was better to let Red defend himself if he wished, anyway, and Red was preoccupied by the battle. He attacked with Night Daze to take advantage of the situation, catching Jolteon as she was still trying to get back up. He hit her square in the side, knocking her back down and out. Omar retrieved her, then considered his next move.
“If I can’t make you slower… I’ll just have to be faster than you! Raichu, it’s your time to shine!”
Omar threw out another ball, and this time a Raichu appeared. Ri sensed what his strategy was: he wanted to use Raichu’s speed to hinder Red so Electabuzz could handle him if he managed to win out over Raichu. That’s all Omar wanted to do – hinder Red. Ri nearly sighed out loud. It was like Omar was trying to deaden the challenger’s ‘spark’ as much as he could – given the way he’d made challengers navigate mazes in the dark Ri supposed it was his style. Ri was sure Red was too bright, but it felt somewhat ironic; Red was a dark type who thrived in the darkness, in being overpowered but coming out on top anyway. Ri didn’t really doubt Red would manage fairly easily – as long as Omar didn’t adapt.
He’s a young gym leader, Two commented directly upon Ri’s thoughts. He seems strong, but he must learn to adapt.
Yeah, Ri agreed. Maybe… develop some tact. He poked it carefully, meaning to make a bit of light of the situation they’d just managed.
That too, Two responded semi-humorously. It meant a lot, to be able to tease about that earlier exchange. Ri hoped it meant they were able to move past it.
In the moment they were distracted Red had managed to hit Raichu squarely again with a Night Daze. Even if Raichu were, generally, faster than Zoroark, there was no beating intense training and experience. With a command from his trainer, though, Raichu was able to recover before Red was able to finish him off. He managed a Discharge while Red was recovering, but luckily Red seemed unaffected by the move’s chance at paralyzing. He responded by dashing with a Night Slash and made contact again. The attack knocked Raichu out; it seemed quick, especially after how quickly Red dealt with Jolteon. Ri watched as Red glanced at Omar as he realized that Omar wasn’t prepared for Red at all. Red didn’t seem happy about it; Ri knew Red wanted a challenge from the gym leaders he faced. That way it made each badge feel like something he earned.
“Don’t you have a team trained up for stronger opponents?” Red called out. It was spunky, but Ri understood Red’s side of it; if a gym leader couldn’t give a trainer a thorough challenge, that weakened the worth of the badge that gym leader handed out.
“–No,” Omar said, visibly bothered both by the ease with which Red was beating him and with Red’s comments. “This is just the third gym –”
“Trainers come through how they like,” Red replied. “Vermilion’s the traditional third gym, but you need to be prepared for whatever may come through your door. Every challenger deserves a challenge from every gym they encounter.”
Ri watched Omar consider what was happening alongside his mate. He wasn’t totally sure it was polite of Red to bring this up like this mid-battle, but at the same time he understood Red felt it was disrespectful for a gym leader not to bring a proper challenge to a trainer. It seemed odd for Red to bring up, but then Ri remembered Red was Champion for years before he came to live with him and Two. It had been his job to make sure the League ran well – alongside with being on call if the region needed protecting. Ri guessed he learned a lot about how to run a gym in that time, even if he wasn’t directly himself ever a gym leader.
“I – concede this battle,” Omar said, with apparent difficulty. “I can at least see that you are a powerful opponent, and there is no reason I should bring out another pokemon when it is clear to me that you will crush them as easily as you have crushed the others. You shine brightly, Red, that is clear; I am satisfied with what you have shown me already.”
Red seemed disappointed, but he seemed to accept that Omar was doing what was best for his pokemon. Ri could respect it; it meant Omar thought more about them than others did. Even if gym leaders had a responsibility to challenge and test trainers, Ri thought their responsibility should always be toward their pokemon first. Battling over and over and over again was exhausting; it meant a lot to be able to save the pokemon a loss and give them some rest instead if possible. In response, Red stood down, and Ri was happy he didn’t keep beating down how he felt about Omar’s performance. He stood on his side of the field, looking up at Omar and waiting for whatever was going to happen. Omar started toward Red – Ri guessed the battle really was over. Unlike Ri and Two, Red didn’t shy away from Omar, and proudly stood to accept his badge.
“It seems I couldn’t give you the challenge you wanted, but at least accept this Volt Badge from me as you’ve shown that you shine brilliantly.”
The sincerity with which Omar stated it made up for the slight electricity allusion as Red accepted his badge.
“–Thank you,” Red managed to say as he accepted the badge in his paw. “For what it’s worth, I think you have potential as a gym leader, and you seem to be an honest trainer.”
“–I didn’t know the Challenger was the one who tested the gym leader,” Omar stated. It didn’t seem sarcastic to Ri; Omar just seemed discouraged after, as Ri regretfully thought Omar might put it, ‘his fuse was so thoroughly busted.’ “You must have learned much from Ri and Two as you lived with them within their gym. I hope too to reach such standards.”
Red sent a knowing glance in Ri and Two’s direction, but Ri nor Two were about to correct Omar. They were happy to let him think they were the reason Red was so particular about his gym battles.
“Whoever you visit next,” Omar continued, “may you show them the same fervor you have shown me.”
“I plan on it,” Red said. “Thank you for the battle.”
Red was… mature. It was a side of him Ri and Two didn’t see much. Or, rather, he ended up showing Ri and Two a different maturity, or else it was just surprising to see him show it to others and not be at the receiving end of it for once. They always appreciated his forgiveness and understanding, but it was easier to appreciate it positively when they could witness it from the outside.
“You are welcome,” Omar said. “Feel free to come again, once I am more experienced.”
“I may, one day,” Red said.
With that, he glanced at Ri and Two and Blue, and turned to leave. They sheepishly followed after him, leaving Omar behind to dwell on his defeat. Ri almost felt bad, but there wasn’t much he or Two could add without implicating themselves, and he didn’t really want to interact with him anyway after their earlier encounter. They went down the dimly-lit hall quietly, descending much faster than Red had ascended. It wasn’t long at all before they emerged back into the noise of Vermilion, still reeling from that encounter with Omar. Before they made their way, Red stopped just outside the door, stepping aside so he wasn’t in the way. Ri, Two, and Blue followed him, surrounding him so they stuck together without getting in the way also. Red asked for his gym badge book and Two easily teleported it to him, and he placed the Volt badge within it. It seemed to have changed from how Ri remembered it when Surge was still the gym leader; it was an electronic resistor in the shape of the letter omega with lightning bolt symbols for the omega’s serifs. It was a little geeky, Ri thought, but he didn’t feel he could judge given his and Two’s dumbbell design which they’d created to represent the bond they shared, the similarity of their powers, the raw power they represented, and also to misdirect trainers to think that all their badge meant was power when really they cared most about the relationship between people and pokemon. Ri was happy Two thought to make sure all the designs were accurate when they made the badge book for Red, at least; he realized it would’ve been awkward if the badge didn’t fit. Instead, Red placed the badge in it and closed it unceremoniously, and handed it back to Two, who teleported it straight back to Red’s desk where it would be safe. It was awkward, Ri felt – they should be celebrating a victory – but he understood given the circumstances that Red wasn’t in a big mood to be happy about it.
“I’m really hungry after all that battling, can we find somewhere nearby to eat before we start exploring?”
Sure, Ri said easily.
“Sounds good,” Blue offered.
Could use a bit of down time after that, Two admitted.
With that, Ri searched for a place they could eat. The first thing that came to his mind was a café – a place he could try the local coffee – but those places didn’t always have substantial food options like Ri knew Red wanted. Instead, he found a nearby Paldean sandwich shop, and suggested it to the group. Everyone seemed happy with it, so he led them toward it, weaving through the people, trying to pay attention to make sure he, his mate and his friends were safe, but also trying to make sure they made it to the place they were trying to go. Two ended up sticking close beside him to reassure him, but it was fine; Two could sense where he was going so he was able to keep up while they led the others together. It was scary, navigating the streets of a busy city, Ri realized. He guessed he was safe alongside Two but Vermilion didn’t feel anything like Pallet or Cerulean or even Veridian. He remembered Two had said that Vermilion should feel safe because Rocket were in control of it and Two had never attacked it because of that, but if anything, Ri kept worrying about Rocket hiding in the background, watching them and waiting for their moment to try and capture them. They were lucky it seemed like any illegal pokemon operations had stopped since Red managed to disband Rocket, but illegal stuff happened in the shadows; they could never be sure there weren’t people out there who might try to hurt them. It almost seemed strange to Ri to worry about being captured and hurt when he and Two were both so powerful, but at the same time he and Two suffered everything they had because people wanted to control powerful pokemon. Ri was thankful that they were safe under Cinnabar, and he was thankful that it seemed – so far – like he and Two were safe exploring their home region. As they came upon the shop they wanted to eat at, he tried to drive it from his mind to enjoy the day with his mate and friends.
It was a busy place; except for being bothered by the number of people, Ri was happy to see it seemed popular. He realized it was about prime time for people to be having lunch – he and Two usually tried to avoid the ‘prime’ times for things – but there wasn’t much they could do about being hungry at normal times when they woke up at normal times to meet other people at normal times. He hoped at least – for Red’s sake – that they wouldn’t have to wait long to be served. They entered, and waited to be seated. Even – for once – the waiter was too busy to notice that they weren’t accompanied by a human, and he brought them straight to a booth without asking where their trainer was. It was a relief as Ri sat down to eat, on the inside beside Two so he was out of reach and immediate sight of whoever went by. They were quickly given menus, and the waiter got caught up on the lack of humans in their group once they were all seated. It soured Ri’s mood a bit, but he was used to it; unlike being called an “it” he realized it was just something they had to accept even if they didn’t like it. It was… actually reasonable for a person to presume pokemon would be accompanied by a human, even if Ri wished it were common enough for pokemon to be alone so that it wouldn’t be reasonable.
“Don’t you think people would recognize who you are?” Blue asked, as the waiter walked off to deal with someone else.
Maybe, Ri offered. We never really leave our gym much, the only people who know who we are are trainers.
People know of “Ri and Two,” of course, but there isn’t much documentation of what I look like and, well… Two continued, but he petered out as he came up to something he knew might bother Ri.
It’s weird to see a purple and orange Lucario, Ri happily explained, but I don’t know if anybody knows that I am purple and orange.
“Do you –”
Blue was asking if they minded explaining – Ri supposed he didn’t.
We were more active before Cipher, Ri said. I wasn’t… like this. I wasn’t quick to show myself off after, either.
“But you still treat Vermilion and the other cities on this side of Kanto like you’ve never been here before,” Blue pointed out.
We stuck to Pallet and Veridian, Two explained. Even back then we weren’t keen on exploring further.
Ri watched as Blue tested what they were saying against what he knew.
“It still seems like they’d know who you are, Two,” he asserted.
… I don’t know, Two admitted, I… don’t really care to. I’d rather not be known. Ri noticed he was deflecting; he didn’t really want to talk about this stuff.
“Let off, Blue,” Red asserted. “Two wasn’t as well-known as you might think and that was over 20 years ago now, before the internet and stuff like that. I only knew him well because, well –”
Red glanced at Two, and Two awkwardly matched it for a moment before looking away.
“–You caught him?” Blue asked, astounded by this new information.
In a Master Ball, Two qualified. Ri thought Two’s qualification was cute; he understood Two cared that Blue knew Red hadn’t just captured him in a simple Poke Ball – that he’d had an advantage.
Red looked around before he spoke, then continued in Zoroark so the humans around them couldn’t understand him.
“I was one of Oak’s prodigies, he trusted me with a lot of things he shouldn’t have before I became Champion. I released him when he calmed down; I just wanted to stop him from rampaging after escaping Giovanni.”
Two was clearly embarrassed and shamed now; Ri felt terrible for him, but it was something that was well-known between the three of them and generally it didn’t really get between them.
“That’s beside the point,” Red continued, in human again, “people don’t necessarily know that –” he caught himself again, realizing what he was revealing and switched again back to Zoroark – “Two is the same as the Mewtwo who did all that stuff back then.”
“But the man in –”
Some people do remember, Two emphasized, getting worked up. It’s not like I was trying to hide myself.
Two… Ri called; he didn’t like his mate getting worked up like this and he wanted to help him calm down. It helped a bit; Two seemed to recognize.
Please, we need to let this go, Two asserted. I’m not that pokemon anymore, I don’t mind people not associating me with that. I’d rather be mistaken for a foreign pokemon than be feared for being the one who was created to terrorize this region.
He turned spiteful as he finished, but he seemed to recognize and he tried to let it go. It wasn’t toward Blue or Red, Ri knew; it was toward Giovanni and the team of people who made him, of course. Red and Blue seemed to understand too, so they let go of it easily, and let Two calm down. The short conversation was revealing; Two still had pent up feelings about how Red had captured him. Ri supposed everything turned out relatively OK since Red had only ever treated them as people since they mated, but it didn’t change that, for a short period of time, Red practically owned Two. Ri remembered Two mentioning he respected Red for how he treated him when he captured him; Ri knew that respect was something one could give separate from other emotions. Two could respect something and… still hate it or its circumstances. Two didn’t want to have been owned by Red… but he appreciated that Red had been so respectful of him for the short time he did own him. Ri supposed it smoothed over later – when they mated – enabling him to be Red’s friend now, but that only worked because they didn’t address what happened in Two’s past. It had nearly come up just then, and Ri clearly saw that there was a history there which even he wasn’t totally aware of. It was before he mated Two… neither of them really cared much for whatever happened before they mated. But… clearly Two cared about what happened with Red. Ri guessed it was up to Two to let him in and explain things; he didn’t want to push it at the moment since Two was already pretty aggravated over it. He was happy just to wait – he trusted Two would approach it when he was ready.
Aside from that, though, their conversation wasn’t over. The waiter came, interrupted them resting and decompressing, asking for their orders. He’d taken them totally off-guard because they got distracted immediately, and they needed to shoo him away to take some more time to look at the menu. Ri took a look when he had a chance, realizing he was fascinated in all the different kinds of sandwiches the place made. They made sandwiches at home, but they were mostly a low-effort lunch meal they made themselves without too much care to sustain them between breakfast and dinner which they liked to share as a group. Ri saw he could expect the sandwiches they got here to be carefully built, and a lot of them were themed so he was interested in what there was. Unfortunately, the list of pokemon-friendly sandwiches was much shorter than the list of human ones, but happily some of them were still appealing. Ri chose one that paired traditional Kanto veggies with some of the tarter berries he liked, and anticipated sharing whatever Two chose, too, while Red and Blue made their own decisions. Once the waiter came back, they ordered, and sat, waiting, excited to try out this new thing. Since Two calmed down quite a bit, it ended up leading to discussion again.
“So – do you guys want to tell me what happened back there?” Red asked, suddenly, out of the blue. Ri was taken aback by it; he hadn’t noticed Red noticing them, and it brought everything back full force. Red sounded rather serious about it, too; Ri sensed Red had wanted to mention it after the gym battle but things had gotten a little sidetracked when Blue mentioned the past and got Two worked up. Ri wondered if Two was OK, but he seemed to handle it. Red bringing it up so seriously didn’t make him feel great, though; Two ended up being the one who looked over at him to make sure he was OK.
Just normal… us stuff, Ri said, betraying a sense of shame in his voice. He called you an it, I couldn’t handle it. He waited for Red to process how he felt sheepishly, anticipating.
“You guys seemed to work through it,” Red commented objectively.
With some difficulty, Two admitted awkwardly.
Omar’s electricity puns bothered us too, Ri continued.
“Just –” Red interjected, his mind somewhere else. He continued in Zoroark again: “I understand how it is for you. I remember how it’s been in the past. And I know you guys are getting better. But…”
Red couldn’t even put into words what he was trying to say, but Ri and Two understood anyway. They knew that their behavior bothered him. They knew what they were doing. They knew Red had mixed feelings about them. Ri and Two knew they could be unfair to Red, and Ri knew that wrongly imploding on a gym leader was unfair to Two and his friends. He knew Red expected them to be able to govern themselves; they could usually manage themselves but they could still be pushed outside their ability to control themselves relatively easily. It was something they knew they needed to work on – just like everything else – and they knew Red saw and was particularly sensitive to how they treated others because of their problems.
“I… appreciate you guys trying,” Red finally said with difficulty, “It’s great to be able to go out and see Kanto again.”
Red being able to tie it up together like that was a huge relief for Ri and Two; it was greatly rewarding to them to be recognized for it. It was encouraging to hear, because it was painful and difficult for both of them to pull themselves up to be able to handle stuff.
We understand, Ri said. And… we know we’re not great at handling things now. We want to try to keep it together for each other – and you, but… it isn’t always easy.”
“I understand,” Red said, rather detached compared to how he’d just been. With that – he made it clear that the conversation was over and that everything was OK. It shocked Ri, but this was the ‘normal’ Red; it was weirder for Red to be as open as he had been just before. Ri just guessed he witnessed them pulling themselves together, and wanted to recognize their effort to grow and take ownership of themselves. Ri was thankful for it; it meant a lot from him. With that, though, the conversation went cold, leaving Ri and Two to reflect on it. Red had voiced his disapproval of how Ri and Two were so helpless at social stuff – at least he tried to – but it was a strange comfort for Ri; even if Red thought they were sorry excuses for it he felt able to come up to them and tell them. That meant a lot; it meant Red trusted them and believed they wouldn’t snap at him for it even though he was critical of them. They trusted Red was their friend, but it meant a lot for him to show it like that. It helped them feel oddly closer to him, but Ri tried not to let it get to his head; Red’s return to relative distance reminded him that he didn’t get to depend so closely on Red like he had on Two for a long time.
I don’t know where we should end up, Two commented, referencing Ri’s thoughts about how dependent he and Two had become on each other. I want you to be a part of every aspect of my life – I don’t know if that’s wrong to want of a mate.
I don’t know either, Ri said back, I do too. But… I don’t know how it can be OK for us to not be always involved in each others’ lives if we want to be.
… I believe we’ll figure it out, Two said. Ri saw he was getting nervous about it; he guessed it wasn’t something Two was ready to approach yet. He didn’t blame his mate; he wasn’t ready to approach it either. He wanted to love Two; he guessed he remembered what that had meant before Cipher but he could barely imagine letting go of Two anymore even to pursue things he liked that Two didn’t. He guessed what mattered was that he knew it was wrong to force Two to follow him on things he liked that Two didn’t, but at the same time… he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Two asserted he wanted to go somewhere and Ri didn’t want to go with him. He shuddered; he didn’t really want to think about it and he was happy enough that he and Two both were able to enjoy a wide range of stuff together, even if they each had their own preferences. Ri sensed Two noticed; he felt a paw on his lap to reassure him without being too overt about it. Sensing Two was OK with it, he nudged a bit closer to his mate, happy and thankful for the reassurance. They were mates; Ri understand that did mean they could rely on each other in ways that they couldn’t rely on friends like Red and Blue, and Ri didn’t feel guilty drawing from Two when Two readily made himself available without apparently overextending himself to do so. That was the difference, Ri guessed; he and Two needed to be able to manage themselves to keep themselves from overextending their mate, but within that it was fine to draw support from each other and to want each other involved in their lives. Ri looked back on his life since Cipher for a moment… it felt to him like he hadn’t done that very well. It made him nearly draw away from Two in guilt, but… he trusted he could be close to Two without doing that to him.
Ri, Two warned, letting him know he was doing it again. The guilt surged stronger, but he ashamedly let it be. He had to let Two help him; he had to let it be OK because he knew Two was willing to help him. He had to trust that Two would let him know when he was going too far. Two just had; it helped him feel comfortable in his mate’s care.
Sorry, Ri said, weakly and meekly.
It’s…
Two petered out again. Like he’d said the last time… it wasn’t OK, but Ri knew Two understood and appreciated him managing to get himself under control again.
I want to cuddle, Ri said, more directly asserting his need for emotional support.
… We can’t, Two said, softly and regretfully.
… I know, Ri replied painfully.
I want to cuddle too, Two said. I’m always up for it, you know that.
That admission helped Ri; it wasn’t a problem to Two to cuddle, he just knew that Two didn’t like doing it in public like this. That was a barrier, Ri knew; he felt reassured pressing up against it and being able to back down from it, even if he missed being in Two’s arms. To try to make up for it a little, Two petted his thigh under the table while they waited for their food, reminding him of his physical presence and willingness to be intimate without showing it to everyone around them.
“So – what are we going to do after lunch?” Blue asked, interjecting even though he could sense Ri and Two talking and Red could see and guess. Ri was thankful for the distraction; he needed to get his mind off things he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about.
There’s the markets, he suggested. He felt further reassured by Two’s continued petting; he realized he’d been really out of it for a moment to question Two being as forgiving of him as he was. He glanced at his mate; Two caught it and made eye contact with him, recognizing the situation and showing him everything was OK. Ri was grateful; he realized he’d really nearly just imploded on Two. It was scary; he didn’t catch it except for Two nearly yelling at him. He sighed; he knew he needed to interrupt the spiral and just… trust Two despite his feelings about it. As long as Two could knock him out of places he shouldn’t be before he broke down because of them, he could let himself rely on him and take on the responsibility of pulling himself out of them when Two alerted him he’s going there.
“Sounds fun,” Blue offered. “That was where you said we could expect to find stuff from all over, right?”
Yeah, Two confirmed.
“It’s going to be interesting to see what kinds of stuff they sell now,” Red wondered out loud.
“What did they sell when you were younger?” Blue asked.
Ri watched as Red tried to remember.
“Trinkets… food, clothes… I don’t really remember,” he admitted. “I didn’t pay too much attention to that stuff as a kid.”
“Mostly gym battles and training?” Blue guessed, teasing at Red.
“–I guess a Lucario would guess pretty easily,” Red said, sounding a bit bothered.
“I –”
“It’s fine, I’m just not used to Ri bringing that stuff up,” Red said with a slight gruffness.
“You don’t –” Blue turned to Ri and Two in confusion.
We don’t usually like to think about Red being a human before he was a Zoroark, Ri explained. We only really care about who he’s been since he was a Zoroark.
“… you do that a lot with different things,” Blue observed.
There’s a lot in the past which… we’d rather leave in the past, Two defended.
“I can understand,” conceded Blue. “I’m learning I don’t really know much about any of you since before…”
From being around Two and Red, Blue knew to avoid the topic of Cipher directly, but Ri picked up on it anyway and understood.
“Is that all there is?” Red asked, changing the subject. “I’m sure it’ll be interesting to see the markets, but I don’t think that’s going to keep us until we want to go home.”
It was barely past noon; Ri sighed when he realized how early it still was. He preferred being out at night, but the gym leaders they visited didn’t really give them that option.
We’ll want to find a restaurant when it’s dinner time, Two offered.
“I guess, yeah,” Red said. “Any ideas for it?”
Not yet, Ri answered. He didn’t really want to think about it since they were expecting their lunch to arrive any moment. I guess we’ll figure it out later.
They discussed what they could do for a short while while they waited for their food. The only thing that seemed interesting to anybody was going to see the docks, but Ri really didn’t want to get anywhere near the big boats and clammed up when Blue mentioned it even passingly. The other thing they’d found was the war museum but nobody was really interested in that, so they were still at a loss for what to do in the city. Before they could get to talking much more than that, their food arrived so they distracted themselves enjoying lunch and talking about lighter things. Two let go of Ri but Ri was feeling better; it felt weird recovering from a moment where he was so close to disintegrating but he was thankful he managed to avoid it and he tried to ground himself in the things he knew. He was enjoying eating lunch with his mate; it was a lot of fun and he knew he had to remember that being Two’s mate wasn’t always just struggling and hurting Two in the process. He and Two managed to have a lot of fun – especially since Ri managed to start pulling himself together. He realized he needed to remember that, that he couldn’t let himself get caught up in the bad stuff.
At least – he was able to let go of Two and handle himself again, which was a relief. He split his sandwich in half to share it with Two, and Two gave him half of his sandwich too. He started with his, though, excited to try out how the berries he liked tasted against lettuce, onions, other veggies. It was something he’d never thought of trying before; it surprised him a bit but he knew he didn’t really think berries ‘belonged’ on a sandwich so it made sense he wouldn’t think of doing it. He was happy to try it, though, especially since he knew Two was willing to share too and that Two had happened to get something he knew he’d like. It meant a lot to him to get to share with Two; he thought it was cute they liked sharing.
Red talked a bit about what it was like in the gym since Ri and Two were distracted enough to not sense him, describing what it was like navigating the mazes and battling in the dark. Red didn’t have much of a problem with it; if anything, it gave him an advantage since he was comfortable in it and since his fur was so dark. They discussed how Omar and his associates liked electricity analogies so much, and Red admitted it was grating on him too, so he understood how Ri and Two were bothered by it. It didn’t seem so serious looking back on it; Ri was happy he was able to look back on it and, at least if he wasn’t laughing, find it vaguely humorous. They discussed a bit about Omar, his team of pokemon and his apparent lack of experience as a gym leader. Ri and Two knew he was a relatively new gym leader – Lt. Surge had retired relatively recently – but they didn’t care to keep up with who was leading all the gyms around Kanto. They supposed the gyms had to pass on to a new generation at some point, but Ri and Two had assumed that the people who took them up would be a bit more prepared. Red expressed dissatisfaction with the battle, but he was still thankful for the badge and was still excited for the coming challenges.
Once they finished lunch and paid, they made their way together to the markets. As Ri navigated and led his mate and friends, his excitement mounted; this was the thing they were all looking forward to doing, and he wondered what sorts of things they’d see. At the same time, he wondered about the number of people he and Two were going to come across. He remembered how comfortable he and Two felt in Pallet and Veridian, but those were places they’d visited hundreds of times and they were sure by now that the people were used to their presence and generally knew who Two was without being belligerent toward him. The places they liked – they could expect to be treated like humans, like it wasn’t a big deal for them to show up. It meant a lot to them, and they felt pretty safe in the places they visited often. But Vermilion was bigger, further away, busier, and they weren’t as known. And the markets were going to be a lot more open than the places Ri and Two liked to visit. Ri couldn’t help being nervous, even if they were as strong as they were. Again, to help, Two kept close by him, and he was sure they wouldn’t leave each other’s side while visiting the markets. Ri sighed; he was with his mate, Two wouldn’t let anything happen to them.
As they came up to the markets, walking up the streets of Vermilion, Ri saw that the backdrop to the markets were the massive docks that connected Kanto to the rest of the world via overseas trading. They were immediately impressive, but Ri felt sick the moment they came in view. Boats – big ones – lined the coast, dropping off cargo or picking stuff up to take to other regions. Most of them were cargo boats – not like the one Ri had been captured on – but he couldn’t help recoiling at the sight of them, imagining all the ways he could somehow be captured and imprisoned on one of those boats and taken away from Two again.
I won’t let anyone take you, Two said. I’m here this time – I’ll –
Two caught himself, but Ri knew he was trying to say he’d kill anyone who tried hurting Ri again. He found comfort in it anyway; Two was with him, so it didn’t seem nearly as possible for Ri to find himself trapped and powerless.
I guess we’re not getting too close anyway, Ri managed to say with some braveness, looking out over the city. The markets were below them, toward the sea but still quite removed from the docks. He supposed anything that came through needed to be cleared and checked before it officially crossed into the Kanto border; he even guessed he saw the facilities where all that happened. The markets were in a much more active part of the city surrounded on all sides by blocks of shops, hotels – normal commercial stuff. He found rest in knowing he and Two were going to be removed from the places where stuff was easily going on and off boats.
It seems like it, Two agreed. I won’t be too comfortable either until we’re away from the docks, he admitted. Seeing Two be apprehensive about it lent Ri clarity; he realized he didn’t want to let it get in the way of him and Two enjoying themselves.
We should… try to enjoy the markets, at least, he offered in an attempt to remind Two, too.
… You’re right, Two said, sighing.
“You guys are being pretty unsure about this,” Red called out. “Usually you aren’t so nervous.”
The boats, the people, the last time when we got yelled at, the way we’re feeling right now… we’re not really prepared for this, Ri admitted.
We don’t know this city, Two said. We learned to be comfortable in Pallet and Veridian but we don’t know what could be hiding in the shadows here.
“We can try to stick together,” Blue offered. “That should help us feel safer.”
We appreciate it, Ri said, feeling a little more confident with Red and Blue around, too.
“The docks are more impressive than I remember them being,” Red commented. “They must’ve expanded upon them since I was here.”
Makes sense, Two said, practically dismissing Red but with some tact. Let’s just… get to the markets, though, he pressed. Ri was getting anxious from thinking about the docks; he was thankful Two was trying to push the conversation along, and he was ready to get to the markets and try and distract himself shopping.
They continued on, and as they descended into the commercial center of the city, even though the thought of being near the docks hung in Ri’s mind, it was less present and obvious. His senses were at full alert, but that meant he sensed everyone within a couple miles’ radius of them, and from what he sensed nobody directly meant them harm. It was a relief; he didn’t intend to let his guard down soon but it was comforting knowing they were getting away with visiting Vermilion.
“I can watch too,” Blue offered. “I’m… not as good as you are, though,” he conceded.
Thanks, Ri commented. He didn’t feel great about it, though; he didn’t mind as much if he ruined his own fun trying to keep himself and Two safe but he didn’t want Blue to get caught up in it. … Try to have fun, he asserted.
You should say the same to yourself, Two said softly. And – me, he admitted.
I’ll try, Ri said weakly.
I will too, Two agreed.
This is what we wanted, Ri emphasized, sighing to assert it to himself and make himself calm down a bit. To have fun exploring Vermilion.
We knew it was going to be tough too, Two mentioned.
Yeah, Ri said.
Ri and Two kept careful watch while they approached the markets, but as they kept sensing nobody with ill-intent toward them and as they started to be able to see what was going on, they got somewhat distracted. The markets were filled with people and pokemon together, which made Ri hope that they could get by exploring without any problems. They were open, but there was a building, too, where Ri guessed people could find respite where it was warm or else where people who sold perishable stuff stayed. Ri started to get excited even aside from all the people; it awoke some old, deeply buried memory of why he enjoyed this world. Humanity’s interconnectivity had fascinated him; the few islands on his old all-pokemon world were interconnected but not nearly to the extent humans were. From what Ri read, he expected to see all sorts of things from all sorts of different places, and the sheer volume of stuff humans made astounded him. It had been fascinating, Ri remembered, before the humans applied their ingenuity to capture him and abuse him and experiment on him. He shuddered at the dual edge of humanity; a lot of the stuff he saw in front of him was ‘good,’ he recognized – innocent – but the same resourcefulness humanity applied to create all these wonderful things could be applied to hurt pokemon and other people, too. It was something he understood back then – but not nearly to the extent he did now. He was, at least, thankful to have somehow reached a point where he could recognize that there was good about humanity again, but it nearly fell apart on him as he still realized how little he wanted to deal with actual people. There were a lot of them around the markets, shopping, having fun, doing chores or meeting with friends. He tried to remind himself most people just wanted to live their lives; it helped a little but he still couldn’t get the thought of people who wanted to hurt him and Two out of his head. He tried to cast it aside; he didn’t sense any around yet, and he wanted a chance to enjoy himself with Two. If they could get through this visit without much of an incident – Ri was hoping to have fun.
They made sure to stick together as they entered, getting a feel for the place and scouting it out before they decided to feel safe. They didn’t pay much attention at first to what was around but more how it was arranged and how the people tended to move around. Ri’s senses helped; he could nearly visualize how everyone was set up around the place and how people were moving. It was chaotic but there was order too; people went from stall to stall, viewing merchandise and keeping out of each others’ way, while pokemon ran around, played with things they probably weren’t supposed to, but made sure to leave things behind unless they intended to try to get their trainer or partner to buy something. It was reassuring; people put up with pokemon’s shenanigans and pokemon respected people’s property. That wasn’t always the case, Ri knew – he wasn’t naive anymore – but for the majority, that’s how it was. It seemed like a pretty safe, low-stress place to Ri; he usually did best in areas where people were preoccupied, and shops were usually good places to be. Of course, it didn’t stop him from sensing people who were upset, or angry, but at least he could tell with relative ease that it wasn’t directed toward himself or someone he cared about.
Once they made one pass of the place, they settled down and paused for a moment to collect themselves. The place seemed safe, and they’d already made their presence quite known by going around the whole area. Ri, Two, and Blue had all sensed around and none of them sensed anything that felt dangerous, so Ri hoped it was a safe place. On top of it… Ri felt he almost just wanted to let go of being cautious and just have fun. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same time the shops they saw had all sorts of interesting things and he kind of wanted to see it all with Two. He looked to his mate conflicted, unsure how to go about resolving it.
I haven’t sensed anything either, Two commented, even though Ri already knew it. I’m – he continued carefully – willing to believe that if we haven’t already sensed anyone who means to cause us harm, there won’t be anybody.
Ri tested the weight of what Two was saying in his mind. He saw that Two was pretty desperate to have fun to go out on a limb like that; warning signs popped in Ri’s mind, though, telling him that Two wasn’t being totally logical. He wanted to let go of it too, though; he didn’t blame his mate for feeling the same way.
It’s a risk, Ri pointed out.
… I know, Two said, somberly. In response, Ri sighed; he didn’t want to ruin his and Two’s chance at having fun.
I didn’t think it was going to be this hard, Ri admitted, we got used to how it feels where we’re comfortable.
I didn’t either, Two agreed. I haven’t sensed anybody like Team Rocket or other independent traffickers, I feel they would be scheming now already.
Yeah, Ri agreed. We should be able to deal with common thieves and stuff like that, he guessed. It felt reasonable; the moment Two glared or Ri pulled out an Aura Sphere it seemed like anybody who wanted to try to take advantage of them for being pokemon would quickly think twice. Besides that, the only people who could threaten Ri were the ones who felt confident enough to overpower him despite his abilities and the only ones who would attempt to overpower Two were traffickers funded by organizations like Team Rocket who had tons of money to fund the development of technology which could possibly restrain Two for a while.
If Team Rocket still exists, they aren’t here, Two asserted.
If there’s anyone else…
… I suppose we can’t let our guard completely down, Two said. He sounded disappointed, and Ri heard how it made him ‘harden’ up. Ri felt bad; he knew Two didn’t want to do that anymore. His ears drooped in empathy; it brought Two to put his paws to Ri’s maw and pull him to make eye contact.
We can’t let ourselves drop our guards completely, but we can still try to have fun, Two said.
… Yeah, Ri agreed, trying to pull himself out of his discouraged state.
I believe we’ll figure it out sometime, Two continued, It doesn’t – have to be now, he qualified. It was a bit reassuring; it helped reset things in Ri’s mind.
I guess this is a start, Ri said.
I guess so, Two agreed. In turn, Ri sighed.
I guess we don’t have to be good at it then, he decided.
… I want to trust that we will be safe doing whatever we want, but there’s a chance we just don’t get to be, Two said. Stuff like this… we can figure it out.
I guess so, Ri agreed. I guess we’ll see how it goes.
I guess so, Two said.
I just – wanted not to have to worry about it.
I know, Two said. Ri sensed Two wanted to draw him close, but regrettably he held himself back, and let go of him instead, looking to him apologetically.
I’m sorry, he said.
I know, Ri comforted. I understand.
It was honestly rather reassuring for Ri; he didn’t fall apart on Two and he hadn’t made Two do anything he was uncomfortable with to keep him together, either.
Let’s try to have fun, Two offered.
Yeah, Ri agreed, regaining some of the enthusiasm he’d lost. It wasn’t like the care-free day out he’d wanted to share with Two, but he supposed if he wanted that they should’ve visited Veridian Forest. They didn’t get to have care-free days when visiting human places… it was becoming draining on them as they realized that one day they’d have to interface with humanity again to make a proper living for themselves. That was still too far away to think about; Ri just wanted to get through the day without being miserable. He sighed once again, resigning himself to the half-cautious state he was going to have to be in to make sure that he and Two didn’t get themselves in trouble. The shops were around them, at least, and it was encouraging to Ri thinking that he was going to get to see all the cool stuff the humans made and sold. As long as they were able to keep themselves safe, Ri weakly held out hope he and Two would have fun. They sighed, preparing themselves, then turned to immerse themselves in the store around them. They started where they were, looking around where they stood for something that interested them. There were several stalls around them selling various kinds of kitchen and household utensils, gadgets, and products. It wasn’t immediately useful or interesting to Ri and Two, but they looked around anyway, coming across a couple supplies they happened to be low on and finding a particular vendor selling coffee equipment from Kalos. It interested Ri to see, but he liked what he had at home already, and didn’t feel particularly inspired to experiment with any of it so they left it behind. They moved on to a different area, which seemed to be themed after electronic gadgets. Two in particular was interested in this section; he admired all the electronic things humans made and wondered at how they were built. There were things like miniature mp3 players, electronic toys, even some game consoles from foreign regions. Ri was happy to see Two take an interest in it; it stimulated him and showed that he was willing to put his guard down at least a little bit to let others see he liked certain things. He started talking about how the circuits were designed which went over Red and Blue’s and eventually even Ri’s heads but Ri liked listening to Two be excited about it; it was special and he was happy Two was able to do it.
Next, they visited a section where people were selling books, but they realized fairly quickly that they were in all sorts of different languages they didn’t know. It was cool seeing so many books, but it didn’t really mean anything if they couldn’t read them. The section interested Blue, however; he was unaware there were different human languages so when he picked up the first book he was alarmed to see that he didn’t recognize any of the words in it at all even though he had considerable experience reading. Once Ri and Two explained it he marveled at all the different languages and how they looked as he realized that humans could learn several of these languages and speak them fluently.
After that, they decided to check out the building and see what was inside. It turned out to be all sorts of food, from sweets from different countries to human foods to pokemon foods like poffins from Sinnoh to Poke Puffs from Kalos to Curry mixes from Galar. This was interesting to everyone, and it was the first place Ri and the others made any sort of purchase for fun, fascinated by foreign foods. They decided to try a couple Galarian curries and were interested in the puffs from Kalos, and there was a Johto tea Ri found interesting, while Two sheepishly convinced Ri to buy several different kinds of jams for him to try when they made something like waffles together. Unashamedly, they bought themselves some treats on the go, too, poke blocks from a street vendor, which they were interested in but not so interested they wanted to bring them home.
They exited the building a different way than they came in, and came immediately across an area full of different arts and crafts items. This was interesting to everyone too; it was easy to appreciate the care humans put into making things that existed only to be cool, cute, or pretty. They were careful with their pokeblocks, but they took a look at everything, fascinated to see all the sorts of things humans made. A lot of them were pokemon-themed, which made sense to Ri, from all sorts of different regions. A lot of them were popular or legendary pokemon from the different regions they came from. Cross-stitchings of the various legendary beasts from Johto, or stylized paintings of the Unova dragons, or different things with Pikachu, Eevee, or all sorts of other common, popular pokemon from different regions. It was all cool to see – it showed people appreciated pokemon some way, at least – and it was novel seeing all the different pokemon around them in… novelty form. It was almost overwhelming to Ri to see, and he nearly started overlooking a lot of it and blindly moving on but he happened to see one particular vendor selling knitted plushies of Lucario. He called to his mate and rushed over to them, alarming Two for a moment before realizing Ri was just being cute. He picked up one of the plushies and inspected it; it fit in his paw but it was the only representation of his species he’d seen among all the Eevee and Pikachu and Greninja. Ri thought it was adorable; he looked to his mate pleading to get it and Two readily ‘let’ him, remembering the Mew figurine Ri had let him get at Pewter and suggesting it was a souvenir of the stuff they’d recently managed together. He realized that Two didn’t have any representation at all and started to feel bad for it; but Two reassured him it was OK and Ri remembered that Two preferred not to be known anyway. Aside from some annoying, demeaning comments from the vendor, Ri powered through and didn’t let it ruin his enjoyment of the little Lucario aside from vaguely regretting showing his appreciation of it so openly. It had caught him off-guard; he hadn’t expected to ‘fall’ for it so much but he… did. It was, at least, something he could share with Two to remember the day, and that meant a lot to him besides adoring the small Lucario. It symbolized the affection Ri and Two had for each other now; that made it mean a lot to Ri a bit like how the Mew figurine they’d gotten meant a lot to Two. It still sat on their desk between them at home; Two teleported the Lucario plush right beside it vaguely teasing Ri by putting it on his side of the desk but still making sure it was safe. Ri wanted to hug him but he knew Two was uncomfortable with it; he saw how it bothered Two that he couldn’t hug his mate as he liked. Ri understood – it was a matter of security for Two – but he still missed being close and he tried not to make Two feel bad about it. The only thing that was making Two feel bad about it was Two’s own desire to be close to Ri. It was something they had to figure out, Ri knew… part of the reason Two was having such difficulty facing all the stuff he felt like he had to.
You’re adorable, Two teased at one point, when they came across all the crafts. Ri was happy Two was having fun too – especially checking out the gadgets he was interested in – and he smiled at his mate, happy to share all this with him. Two’s restrained smile reminded him though that Two couldn’t emote so openly as he could; it dampened his spirits a bit and reminded him how difficult everything was on him and his mate, but Two reassured him and managed to get him to let go again. Ri was happy at least that Two was able to enjoy himself, and that they got to share in it together after the relatively difficult morning they’d had. It gave them a taste of what it would be like once they figured out all the stuff they were trying to face, and it was encouraging to think that – one day, if they worked hard to grow – they could do stuff like this without worrying about being happy or being taken and hurt or coming across people who hated them. It turned out to feel like a fitting celebration of Two facing the lab and everything he’d repressed because of it for longer than 20 years; it was gratifying to them both to manage the outing almost-kind-of well.
I’m happy, Ri replied. At least – he looked around quickly with his senses, to make sure they were still safe – I’m not too worried at the moment.
It’s nice to see, Two admitted.
You too, Ri reflected. It flustered Two a bit, but he hid it fairly well. Ri was just happy to be enjoying himself and his mate; it was welcome and much-needed.
Should we move on? Two asked.
I guess, Ri answered. Is there much left to see?
“There were clothes somewhere, I think,” Red mentioned. “I was – interested in looking at them,” he admitted meekly.
–OK, Ri agreed, do you remember where they were?
He was starting to burn out, but he guessed looking at clothes was interesting. He didn’t really understand why humans wore clothes – Red had told them humans were shy about their naked bodies and that their skin was rather fragile and sensitive compared to a pokemon’s fur – but Ri still didn’t really get it. It was fascinating seeing all the different kinds of things humans put together to wear, though, and he guessed that wearing clothes was a way for humans to express themselves, which he supposed he could understand though he had no motivation himself to put anything on his body to ‘express himself.’ He didn’t want anything covering his fur; the idea of it sounded rather uncomfortable and stifling to him.
“Yeah, I think so,” Red replied. He led them off to the last section of the markets that had any apparent interest to them. Ri saw that there were racks upon racks upon racks of clothes of different styles from different regions; it was almost overwhelming to see even though he didn’t plan on buying anything at all. Red seemed interested, though, and he started roaming by himself looking for things. It alarmed Ri and Two both – they didn’t really want anyone going off on their own – but Ri supposed they could let him go off and just keep an eye on him from a distance. It was scary, but they sensed around once again and still didn’t find anyone who wanted to hurt them or take them. The threat still occupied their minds but at a certain point it started to seem silly to worry about it if they kept not seeing people who would take advantage of them. Ri sighed, letting Red do what it was he wanted, and set about looking through stuff with Two to see what it was humans liked to wear. It wasn’t obvious from the clothes themselves but Ri sensed that many women were looking at the clothes in this particular area, so he guessed it was a women’s section, which didn’t really interest him or Two or Blue, either. They looked around for a men’s section, and decided to look through the stuff there. There were jeans from Unova, pants from various different regions, even a small selection of kilts from Galar, along with shirts of different styles from all sorts of different regions, ranging from graphic tees of pokemon or regional sports or League popular figures to colorful, light, baggy summer shirts that seemed perfect for a tropical vacation to dress shirts which looked especially stifling, even for humans, especially paired with the suits Ri knew humans tended to wear them with. It was interesting, Ri supposed, but he didn’t really care for much of it at all.
Aside from all that, there were vendors selling jewelry, watches, or various decorative pieces of cloth for various purposes. A lot of it was unisex, Ri supposed, so he and Two decided to take an interest in it. They found Red looking through various things in this section too, so they decided to join him since they’d run out of things they were interested in otherwise. They looked at some of the earrings – ones it seemed that males would be interested in – and Ri embarrassingly remembered at one point being vaguely interested in getting his ear pierced to fit an earring when he was much younger. He was happy he didn’t do it, but he didn’t escape the piercing – the poacher who’d captured him had tagged him before he sold him off to Cipher. He didn’t want to put anything through it, though; he didn’t want to ‘take ownership’ of that specific part of his torture. He looked through the earrings anyway, then through the bracelets and necklaces too with Two. He had to admit to himself: of all the things humans wore, the jewelry interested him most. Shiny bits of metal or colorful bits of fabric – none of it served any functional purpose like the majority of clothes people wore, they just wore it because they liked shiny things. Of anything humans did to put stuff on their body, Ri could relate to that. He didn’t have any interest in it anymore, though, and was happy just to look and see what sorts of things humans liked to wear. At least – until Red showed up and interrupted their idle browsing.
“Hey – can you come with me?” he asked, rather sheepishly for Red. Ri and Two and Blue weren’t about to judge, though, and they easily followed him to a vendor selling different kinds of bandannas. As they came upon an array of headwear, Ri wondered what it was Red wanted from them, though. It became clear as Red stopped in front of a display of bandannas, picked one up, folded it up into a triangle, and held it across his neck and presented himself to Ri, Two, and Blue.
“… I used to wear clothes,” Red started awkwardly in Zoroark, “but I stopped when I became a Zoroark. I’m used to not wearing anything, but… I want to wear something again, too,” he admitted, gaining traction. “I used to like my caps, even when I was older. I don’t think I can wear them anymore, but perhaps I could at least wear something like this,” he offered. It was a surprise to Ri to hear; he was honestly happy that he had managed not to sense it. He supposed – he was preoccupied by keeping himself, his mate and his friends safe over what they were thinking any moment. But he turned his mind back to what Red was saying: Red wanted to wear clothes again. Ri knew that Red had some difficulty when he transformed – he and Two had helped him with it – but he guessed that since starting up his own gym challenge, he had been having trouble again. Ri kind of felt bad for him; he understood being unsure about his identity, so he sympathized with Red’s struggle knowing whether he was a human or a pokemon.
“I miss identifying myself,” Red asserted. “I used to be Red – a certain human with identifying features. Now… I’m just a Zoroark, like the rest of the Zoroark. I’m… Red the Zoroark, I want something that helps make it obvious. Do you – mind helping me find something that looks good?” he asked.
It took a moment for Ri to process, but he hoped he managed to do it gracefully.
–Sure, he said, relatively awkwardly. You like the bandannas? He asked, hoping it showed support.
Yeah, we don’t mind, Two agreed easily.
“I think so,” Red replied, to Ri’s comment. “I just don’t know what color or pattern or size to choose.”
We can help, Ri offered.
“Thanks,” Red said. Ri sensed it; Red meant that sincerely and deeply. It was… rewarding, getting to do that for him. To start, Ri actually looked at the bandanna Red had chosen. It was red like his fur, but it wasn’t the right red; it was rather off and it laid somewhere between contrasting against him but blending indistinctly into the rest of him that meant it was distracting but in a bad way.
Probably not that one, Two started, saying it for Ri but also agreeing with it.
“–Why not?” Red asked. Ri sensed a touch of indignance in Red, but Red seemed willing to listen. Ri tried to speak up so it wasn’t just Two railing on Red.
It’s… not quite the same as the red of your mane, Ri explained. It doesn’t contrast enough with your fur, but it doesn’t match it enough to look good with it, either.
“… Alright,” Red accepted. He seemed to like it, but he also seemed to accept that if it didn’t look good it wasn’t a good idea for him to wear it. He put it back down, and started looking around for other colors and patterns he liked.
“… I want something to identify myself too,” Blue asserted, rather out from nowhere. Ri looked to him; it was sudden, but it felt less uncharacteristic than Red’s assertion had been. Blue had chosen his name because he didn’t want to just be another Lucario; Ri understood he wanted to make a new place for himself now that he wasn’t a trainer’s pokemon anymore. “Is it OK if I find a bandanna for myself, too?”
Ri looked to Red; it was mostly up to him, Ri felt, since Red was already trying to choose one for his own sense of independence and identity. It caught Red up for a moment, Ri noticed, but he managed something out for a reply.
“Sure,” Red said, “I don’t mind, it won’t stop me from being Red.”
That was the mature Red again, Ri saw; he admired Red’s ability to be fair. He wondered a bit why it felt sometimes like he wasn’t fair to them, but he knew that he and Two weren’t always fair to Red. They’d had a difficult history, Ri remembered… he supposed it was fair of Red to be a little tougher on them than on others. He decided he and Two needed it anyway, so it turned into a moot point that didn’t really matter.
Let us at least find something for Red first, Ri counter-asserted. He didn’t want Red to feel overshadowed by Blue.
“OK,” Blue easily said.
They waited while Red looked through the various different bandannas available to him, and tried to look through some themselves, too. Red’s black fur was easy to pair with – virtually any bright color would work against it, Ri was sure. But Red’s red fur was much harder to pair with. Green seemed too gaudy against it, while any shade of red would just disappear. There was yellow or orange or purple, but all of those seemed too much too. Red showed them a couple different things – even a white bandanna – but none of it seemed to work ‘right.’ At least – until Two came across a rather light blue one and picked it out and presented it to Red. Red looked it over for a bit, apparently considering it.
“I wasn’t too sure about this one,” he admitted. “It seems too bright.”
But anything that’s dark will disappear against your fur, Two defended. Ri looked it over and looked at Red; his eyes shone rather brilliantly in a similar shade of blue.
They match your eyes, Ri pointed out.
They do, Two agreed.
“Wouldn’t that also be too… dimensionless?”
Anything else seemed like too much ‘dimension,’ Ri countered.
If anything, Two offered, the bandanna brings out the color of your eyes and makes it obvious.
“Does it look – good?” Red asked, tying the bandanna around his neck. Ri and Two both took a step back to see. Red did look good, Ri felt; he always thought Red looked good anyway but the bandanna did offset his red and black a bit and make him seem less… scary. It didn’t seem too out of place since it was the same color as his eyes already, but it didn’t overpower the black or the red at all so it seemed to work.
“Try to… remember I’m not gay,” Red pointed out, as Ri and Two eyed him over deciding how he looked.
If we’re into you – wouldn’t that imply a female would be into you too? Ri teased, semi-seriously posing the question. It flustered Red; Ri backed off, but it was a rare moment he and Two managed to get at Red. Ri supposed it was rather vulnerable for him to be going through all this.
We’ll be careful, Two said, comforting Red a bit.
You do look good, Ri said. I think it works.
“Are you sure?” Red asked.
It’s the best we’ve seen yet, Two confirmed.
“… Blue?” Red asked, apparently hoping for an opinion from a friend who wasn’t so likely to be into him.
“Yeah,” Blue agreed. “Like Two said, it brings out your eyes.”
“… I guess it’s good, then,” Red let up. “I wish there were a mirror or something –” Red looked around, and managed to find one. Ri wished he’d trust his friends about it, but he guessed he understood too as he and Two and Blue followed him to a mirror set up near the vendor’s register. He looked himself over, seeing the bandanna for himself.
“I didn’t imagine pokemon wanting to wear those things, but it looks good on you,” said a strange voice. It surprised Ri and Two; it was wholly unwelcome as all 4 of them shot glares at the human behind the register who said it. He seemed surprised by it, but Ri, Two, Red and Blue let up, realizing he really didn’t mean them any harm and was just trying to be nice. It was different for Red, though; it was an unwelcome third-party opinion but Ri saw him admit: if a random stranger liked how he looked, it was pretty good like Ri and Two and Blue were trying to say. He returned to looking himself over, and Ri sensed as he got into the idea of it.
“Thanks,” he said to the man first – somewhat awkwardly.
“Oh, you speak, too!” the cashier said. “That’s a relief, makes it easier to deal with you.”
“We can pay,” Red said unamused; he didn’t seem to appreciate the man butting in on his vulnerable moment. Ri totally understood.
“It does match my eyes,” Red admitted, this time in Zoroark so the human couldn’t understand him. “You’re right, anything else would be too much,” he agreed. He moved himself around to see himself from a couple different angles. “It does look good,” he admitted. “I like it.”
It was a relief to Ri to hear; he was happy for Red to have found something he liked – and he was relieved it was something Ri and Two were telling him was good and especially that it was something Two had suggested. Two had put himself out there – it was nice that his suggestion worked.
“Can we find something for me, too?” Blue asked.
Sure, Ri said.
“I can help too,” Red suggested.
With that, they went around once more, looking for something else for Blue. They ran into the same problem – Blue’s bi-color cream and blue fur and red accenting eyes made it hard to choose a fourth color that tied the rest of them together. Blue liked the black ones – like the color of the mask marking on his face and his paws – but Ri argued that, if it happened to be hot, he would burn up under it and it would be really uncomfortable. Otherwise, there wasn’t really a color they could add since Blue already had so many colors happening at once. They ended up with the red bandanna Red had liked at first; it matched Blue’s eyes fairly well. He put it on and asked for their opinion like Red had, turning around for them.
It looks pretty good too, Ri said.
It matches your eyes, Two said again.
“So you’re going to end up with the one I liked in the first place?” Red teased. “I bet you told me the blue one looks good on me just so you could have the red one.”
“–Sure,” Blue said. “Or I just thought it was funny for you to have the blue one and me to have the red one.”
That is kind of funny, Two pointed out. Ri knew what they meant; Red and Blue’s names were confusing enough, they were just making it more confusing by taking the color of each others’ name for their own bandanna.
It’s not a problem for us, at least, Ri said.
“We are matching,” Red pointed out. “I hope people won’t presume we’re mated because of it.”
It doesn’t seem obvious to me, Two offered. It is… he stalled on it, awkwardly keeping it to himself out of the feeling that stuff like that should be reserved for his mate.
“It’s…” Red challenged seriously; he didn’t seem to appreciate Two holding it back.
… Cute, Ri said. Two looked at him somewhere between guiltily and thankfully; Ri didn’t feel jealous of his mate’s affection – he agreed with the sentiment, after all – but he felt bad Two still felt awkward saying it with their friends. There was, he considered, the fact that Two knew Red likely wouldn’t appreciate a comment like that from them too. He caught Two’s look and tried to reassure him but then he looked over at Red who was considering what Ri and Two were saying.
“… You guys are gay, is everyone going to think that?” Red asked.
I don’t know, Two said. What would you think if you saw two pokemon wearing matching bandannas like that?
“I probably wouldn’t think anything of it,” Red said.
What would humans think of it? Ri emphasized.
“… They might agree but I don’t think they’d assume anything,” Red said.
Then it probably isn’t a problem, Two said.
“Is it really OK for me to get this too?” Blue asked.
“Do whatever you want,” Red said with a slight gruff in his voice, “I don’t really care if we match as long as others don’t think anything of it.”
You are friends, Ri pointed out, it’s OK for you to match.
If we liked, we’d get bandannas too, Two said, then we’d all be matching and it’d be less suggestive that you two are together.
“I don’t know if that’d help,” Red admitted. “It’s fine how it is, let’s get going.”
“As long as it’s OK…” Blue said. “I didn’t want to ruin your enjoyment of it”
“It’s fine,” Red asserted rather roughly. “I still like my bandanna… it is cool that we match I just don’t want to be called cute because of it. It’s fine from Ri and Two but I don’t want others calling it that.”
“OK,” Blue said. “I can change if others take it that way,” he offered.
“Thank you,” Red said. “The bandanna does look good on you too, it’s fortunate we were able to find things we both liked.”
“Yeah,” Blue agreed.
The interaction was enlightening to Ri and Two both; Red put up with things from them that he wouldn’t from others. He understood how they were; they tended to feel that way about stuff like that that he didn’t, and he didn’t blame them for it. He accepted it. He accepted them. It was a relief; they’d gotten away with calling Red cute when he wouldn’t let others. It meant they were his friends – it meant he trusted them that it wasn’t super personal for them to say that about him even though they usually tried to reserve that stuff for each other. They understood that Red wasn’t like that, so they didn’t rub it in, they let it be and moved on and hoped that Red and Blue would get away with it without difficulty.
We need to pay, Two suggested, hoping to relieve the tension a little bit.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“Let’s go then,” Red said. “I’ve seen everything I want to, at least.”
I’m burning out, Ri admitted.
“Are there other things for us to do?” Blue asked, “I don’t want to let it get too late if there’s other stuff we want to do too.”
I’m satisfied, Two said. It’ll be nice to relax from this for a bit.
That settled it. They approached the vendor who’d spoken to them before. While Blue looked in the mirror to see himself, Ri went up to the vendor while Two teleported him his phone so he could pay.
“Hey, you’re both getting bandannas?” the vendor asked.
Both of them wanted one, Ri said plainly, hoping to be done with this transaction quickly.
“Was that –”
Telepathic, Ri said, disinterested.
“Oh…” said the vendor, trying to get his mind around hearing Ri’s voice in his head. “Well, don’t worry about paying, the bandannas look cool on you both. Are you friends or something?”
“–Yeah,” Red said. Ri caught his glance toward him and Two; the vendor had barely managed to stay within Red’s boundaries.
“You two can have ones if you want,” the vendor suggested. “Get ones that match all of you.”
We – Ri started, but he caught himself. Even with humans, he managed certain amounts of sense. The man was offering them 4 free bandannas; it felt rather rude to say no.
But we wouldn’t wear them, Two reasoned privately.
They’re free, Ri said.
… Fine, Two said. He wasn’t upset, Ri understood – they just had to go back and find ones he and Two liked, too.
We’ll be back, Ri said, to Red and Blue.
“Wait – let us help too,” Red said. “I’m going to make you pay for calling us cute.”
“Yeah,” Blue agreed, “you two are biased toward each other anyway.”
It was hard for Ri not to admit that; he felt Two would be cute in anything he wore so he guessed Red and Blue needed to be there to make sure they weren’t making mistakes.
“Just let me see before you go off,” the vendor said.
… Sure, Ri said, unhappy but accepting. The vendor was letting them have free stuff… they could at least let him see them before they ran off to do something else.
Once more they approached the array of bandannas, this time looking for themselves. It was rather awkward, because neither of them really wanted to wear them. They were happy without them; they didn’t feel like they needed them to be identified like Red and Blue did. They supposed they could associate with their friends, though, so they looked. Pretty easily, they found a steel purple bandanna which matched Two’s purple. He tied it through his necks, accentuating the purple of his second neck, tummy, and tail. Ri was harder to search for, though. The purples didn’t match his, and he didn’t want the red one like Blue had. He didn’t want black either, and he wanted something that matched him like everyone else had. Once again Two came across one hidden away which matched the orange of Ri’s torso. It felt rather bright for Ri’s tastes but it felt kind of dumb given his torso was the same color. He put it around his neck, so it ended up blending in to his body a little bit. It was OK to him, though, he didn’t really mind, and he felt it was obvious enough that he was wearing it anyway. He presented himself to his mate and looked his mate over at the same time.
“You are adorable,” Red said, mock-mockingly. It didn’t really bother Ri; he felt Two was cute, and he knew Two felt he was cute, too. It felt nice to feel the affection toward Two; Ri appreciated matching Two and to have that slight show of their mateship. It was totally personal to them, though – Red and Blue had bandannas too and weren’t part of their relationship. If anything – wearing the bandannas was just to help Red and Blue feel less awkward. It was weird; they were trying to dispel the sense of relationship wearing the bandannas generated between Red and Blue while they appreciated the same sense it generated between them. “It is – actually – kind of cute,” Red admitted awkwardly.
It is, Two said, looking at Ri.
Yeah, Ri agreed, looking back. He felt his mate looked good in the bandanna. He sensed Two didn’t feel any personal attachment whether he wore it or not, but at least Ri could appreciate him while he did. Ri sensed it was kind of the same for Two; they just didn’t really have much reason to wear them. Two was already identifiable enough – he wanted to be less identifiable – and Ri had his fur already, and an unwanted identifier branded into his arm. They already had enough they didn’t want identifying them; it felt kind of redundant to add on more on top of it.
Ri thought about it, though – it felt somewhat empowering to put on something that identified him that he liked. He wanted that bandanna there. Or, at least, he could want it there. It was something that he and Two could share – and he liked it. He could think about it and find it cute, happy thoughts he appreciated.
I suppose we could wear them if you want, Two said. I’m – not as enthusiastic about it as you are.
Only if you really don’t mind, Ri said. I like it, but still… I don’t see any reason to keep wearing it.
We can wear them for today, at least, Two offered. We can see how we feel about it when we get home.
Sounds good, Ri said. He looked up to his mate and smiled; it felt like a good idea to try something new. They didn’t have to judge how they felt about it immediately; it was harmless enough that they could give themselves some time to settle into it. And – what it showed was that Two didn’t mind it. It was something intimate that they could share in public. That was easily within the boundaries they needed to define. It was a way for them to feel close while figuring out how to be more open with other stuff they liked to do to feel close.
I appreciate how it makes me feel close to you, Ri admitted.
I – do too, Two admitted back rather awkwardly. Ri watched Two touch the bandanna around his own neck. It’s… a constant reminder, he offered.
It is, Ri agreed. He thought a moment about how it felt to wear it; it didn’t feel as bad as he’d imagined. He supposed that’s why Red thought of it in the first place. It lied around his neck against his fur, stifling it slightly but it wasn’t so bad at least when there was a breeze. It didn’t cover him too much, but he did feel it, which helped with the sense he felt feeling close to Two.
The thought put Ri in an unexpectedly good mood; it was greatly encouraging as they went back to the vendor to show him. It was awkward to show him, though; that kind of dulled the mood as they approached. Ri felt his ears go back and his tail started to swish; he was nervous showing it to him, but he remembered how the human had acted about it between Red and Blue; if it was intimate for them it didn’t have to be intimate for others around them. He just hoped the human would let them get away with it without being too demeaning.
“Ah, I see you’ve found ones you like too,” the vendor said. “They look good on you too – you all match now.”
–Yeah, Ri agreed, detached.
“Take care, then,” the vendor said, “enjoy those – and feel free to come back if you need new ones, too.” The human chuckled – “I’ll recognize you from the bandannas you’re wearing.”
Thanks, Ri said awkwardly. He turned away and his mate and friends followed him; they were done shopping for the moment.
Not… from the color of my fur, or the fact that you’re the only Mewtwo in existence? Ri complained toward Two privately.
…
Two didn’t seem to have much to say, he only really agreed with Ri. They tried not to let it get to them and ruin their enjoyment of the bandannas they were wearing. Ri understood Red and Blue appreciated the sentiment anyway, and Ri supposed the vendor wasn’t totally serious about the last comment.
It didn’t sense serious, Two agreed.
And I guess it doesn’t stop us from enjoying them ourselves, Ri offered.
No it doesn’t, Two agreed.
Then I guess we should just let it go, Ri decided.
Yeah.
That about settled it. Ri sensed Red and Blue; they seemed satisfied from the comment the vendor made, so Ri supposed it was overall good since he and Two were able to let it slide. Aside from that, as they left the markets and tried to find a place they could take a short break and feel safe, Ri couldn’t help but feel satisfied by the experience he and Two had just shared. He was happy – Two was happy – they were vaguely terrified of being hunted down but at least they were able to enjoy themselves somewhat. They’d managed to help Red and Blue, tease him and take some teasing back – and, they didn’t break down. It was a relief; it felt great just to have somewhat of a normal day having fun. The bandanna Ri was wearing – he wasn’t sure it was totally welcome yet, but he did appreciate how it made him feel closer to Two since Two was wearing one, too. It helped Red and Blue feel less awkward, too, which Ri was happy to help with. It was kind of ironic, he felt, since he felt a sense of friendship even with Red and Blue wearing bandannas and Red was worried about Ri and Two being gay about it. He and Two had practically promised to keep it to themselves, though; they didn’t need to make a big thing of it. They didn’t want to make Red and Blue uncomfortable, either; they understood that even if they were accepted that didn’t give them free license to treat Red and Blue however they wanted. That was part of why they kept their affection to themselves; it was a boundary between them and Red and Blue that they understood – learned about from experience making Red uncomfortable. That particular boundary meant a lot to them; they didn’t want to cross it, and they knew that Red was particularly touchy about it. They respected it; they had caused themselves and Red too much pain because there had been a time they didn’t understand it. That was why Red was so quick to defend it; they understood that too and were happy to keep within it to respect him.
The thing was – Ri didn’t know where that boundary lay with strangers. Two didn’t, either. They didn’t know how to deal with strangers. It stuck in Ri’s mind; part of what was so scary about going out and defining that barrier was all the pain Ri and Two felt and caused learning about it with Red. He and Two both were scared of the pain they’d feel testing it out, and Ri thought back to the incident they’d gotten themselves into at Pewter City. That had been hard on Two; Ri hoped they’d manage to figure it out without it being so painful to them in the future. And, on top of it – Red had managed to be forgiving toward them while they developed that barrier, but Ri wasn’t sure the public was going to be so forgiving. The way he and Two had nearly been attacked at a restaurant showed that, even if society as a whole pretended to forget something, individuals didn’t. Some of them held grudges.
“So – what are we going to do?” Blue asked. “There’s still a bunch of time left.”
We don’t know, Two said. We mean to eat, later.
“We basically just ate lunch, though,” Red pointed out.
We need something else to do before then, Ri agreed. I want to rest a bit, though, that was exhausting.
Yeah, Two agreed.
“Like – a park or something?” Blue suggested.
Too open, Ri said, I don’t want to have to keep watching.
“A smaller store?” Red wondered.
Sick of shopping, Two said.
Then... Ri thought. He stopped in his tracks; he’d thought of getting coffee but he didn’t really want that at the moment since it still felt fairly soon after lunch and he didn’t want to have much before dinner. That left them without much at all to do, so they got out of the way of foot traffic and stopped to think. He wondered what he felt like doing, and ended up thinking back to the time he and Two had spent that morning trying to come up with stuff to do. They were familiar with cities; there wasn’t anything intrinsically special about visiting one to them anymore. The only reason to visit one city over another was to see whatever made that city stand out. Like with Cerulean – Ri and the others had walked up and down the canals because that was something that was particular to that city, and Ri and Two had shared a boat ride down one of them because it was a novel experience. Ri considered what was unique to Vermilion, though, and – the only thing that came to his mind were the docks and the markets. They had just visited the markets, and he was not going to visit the docks. Otherwise… it just seemed like a city like any other city.
We can stop somewhere like a library, Two suggested. It might be interesting just to see it while we consider what we could do so we aren’t out in the open like this.
Ri considered it. He wasn’t sure he was too interested in browsing through books, but – there was no pressure to at a library. They only had to be quiet, which was trivial for all of them except Red. They could sit for a bit, rest, and, like Two suggested, see how it was built. If it was a grand central library – Ri was sure it would look pretty cool.
Sounds good to me, he said, looking up to his mate. Two seemed happy; Ri liked being able to make him happy.
“Just to figure out what to do next?” Blue wondered, surprised by all the effort they were going through just to find some place out of the way to figure out what to do.
We want somewhere out of the way where we can find something to do in peace, Ri explained. I want to get out of the open for a bit.
“I could appreciate sitting down for a bit,” Red agreed, “I’m still exhausted from the gym.”
Is there one nearby? Two wondered out loud. Ri took a look, searching on his phone.
It’s like… 15 minutes away, Ri said.
That’s… doable, Two said. Ri knew what he meant; it seemed torturous to walk that long when he could manage it quickly by flying, or be there instantly by teleporting. They weren’t familiar with the place yet, though, so they couldn’t teleport there.
“It’ll be fine,” Red assured, “at least for me.”
We want to get out of the open, it’s rough having to walk so long for that, Ri said. I want to be able to stop worrying about being noticed for a bit.
“I guess I understand,” Blue said. He didn’t totally seem to to Ri, but Ri guessed he appreciated Blue was trying.
If that’s our plan we should get on our way, Two suggested.
Yeah, Ri agreed. He navigated on his phone and headed out to lead his mate and friends to the library.
I’ll stay close behind you, Two said, I won’t lose you.
Thanks, Ri said. I’m paying attention too, he reassured his mate.
Don’t get us lost though, Two teased.
I can look at my phone and sense where I’m going, Ri defended.
I know, Two said softly. Ri understood; Two worried for him. That’s why they wanted the rest; they wanted to be able to stop worrying for a little while.
Ri led everyone to the library; it didn’t seem so bad once they were walking. Red explained the concept of a library to Blue which helped pass the time a bit, and while Ri navigated Two kept an eye out for places that might interest them. There were a couple stores, but everyone had their fill of shopping; Ri decided they’d have to wait until another visit to go see them. Otherwise, there wasn’t much. It made Ri wonder about what they were going to visit in other cities in the future, and he hoped that the other cities Red still had to visit had attractions that didn’t terrify Ri. At the very least, they got to get a feel for Vermilion as they walked down the streets through the busier, commercial/banking/business areas. They passed by a couple parks, but while Two noted them as possibilities once they had some time to rest, they forged ahead to the library anyway just to be able to be inside for a little while. It ended up not being too long, and they came upon it soon, towering above all of them. They paused to take it in; the building was rather plainer than Ri had imagined, at least from seeing the grand libraries from other regions. He sighed; it dashed their hopes a bit, but at least he hoped they could rest. They went inside, and were fascinated by what they saw. It was a modern space – hence the relatively plain outside – but the inside was thought out, designed, and crafted. Floors upon floors of books, all in a central, open space. It was a lot more books than Ri or Two had ever seen at once. Sky lights lit up the entire room in natural light – great for reading, Ri guessed, at least when it was light and sunny out. The walls of books were framed in dark wood shelves which glistened in the sunlight. It was impressive; Ri was happy Two thought to visit even though it wasn’t exactly what they had expected.
It's impressive, Two said. I wonder what amount of knowledge this place holds. And to think –
Ri thought Two was being cute; Two was being overwhelmed by the idea that this was only a small portion of the total output of human literature and writing.
“And people are free to –”
“Hush!” someone called to them from a nearby desk. The sudden noise surprised all of them, causing all of them to look at him. He beckoned them over, and they awkwardly went to him since it seemed he wanted to talk quietly.
“Where are your trainers?” he asked.
Pokemon need trainers to visit a library? Ri asked, unamused. He wasn’t happy about being treated that way, but he wasn’t really disappointed anymore; he rather expected it.
“Quiet!”
You’re the only one who can hear me, Ri said indignantly, aside from my mate and friends.
“… Just don’t make a mess,” the human said, realizing Ri was speaking telepathically. “Can any of you even read?”
–Yeah, Blue said. We all can. We know how not to make messes, too.
Even Blue seemed irked, with that last statement presuming they couldn’t read. Ri knew Blue was proud of learning how to read; he could see how that would bother him. Again, the human considered. He ended up bowing to them slightly.
“My apologies,” he said. “Welcome to Vermilion Library, we welcome pokemon alongside trainers so it is no problem for you to visit. We hope you enjoy your stay and find something truly enriching, riveting or, if it’s your style, contemplative among our rank of texts. Just remember that we don’t loan books out, so make sure to put them back in their places before you leave.”
… OK, Ri said. As he, his mate, and their friends walked by, they tried to shrug off the encounter. It wasn’t as bad as usual, it was just… normal, and it ate at them to be challenged like that every time they met a human. Ri looked up into the library and its magnificent collection, though; his worries melted away a little in awe. Keeping close, they all went a couple rounds around the library just looking at the way the place had been built, admiring the design of the shelves and the way the natural light reached every single nook and cranny.
We’re free to look at anything we want, Two eventually said, finally answering the question Blue had been trying to ask before he was interrupted, but we can’t take it out, apparently, he continued.
But didn’t Red say you could take books out of a library for free? Blue challenged.
“I guess not all libraries are like that,” Red admitted, quietly so he didn’t bother anyone.
Why not? Blue asked.
I suppose if they value the integrity of the collection, Two guessed. They wouldn’t want people taking books if every book is worth something.
Couldn’t they just make more books? Blue wondered.
Or… digitize them so they’re available freely to everyone everywhere, Two figured.
“There’s something about a library, though,” Red said. “That was something I learned to appreciate in my later years as a human.”
Ri remembered Blue the Champion’s office when they’d visited it months before. It had shelves of books. Ri hadn’t imagined Red was too much the reading type.
Were those your books in the Champion’s office? Ri asked.
“They just sit there,” Red said. “I didn’t read any of them until I matured some. Even now, I think they were all pretty boring.”
Ri guessed Red wasn’t the kind of pokemon who’d find dry texts about Kanto history or books about being an effective leader interesting. He thought back to what Red had said before though, and it was hard not to agree with him at the moment. The library was grand; it held a ton of knowledge and stories. All in physical form. Ri knew paper got moldy, or libraries burned down – that knowledge could easily be lost when written down and stored all together in one place – but there was something about it that a hard drive or a data center just couldn’t match, even if one data center could house several copies of the entire library in the same space. Ri appreciated it – and was happy Two thought to mention it.
The second time around, however, they were starting to tire of the architecture. They wanted to rest, so they turned their attention to finding a place they could take a break. There was, luckily, a hall filled with booths for private studying in small groups with a nearer, more intimate, more private ceiling. Ri and his mate and friends easily took one for themselves, relieved to find a place to feel secure for a little while. Hidden away – even in a public place like this – Ri felt himself relax, and – though he checked around first to make sure – he felt comfortable enough and sensed Two was willing, so he leaned against his mate and nuzzled against his shoulder once or twice to show his affection in a small way. Ri sensed his mate smile; it was always a great moment when Two was happy. To return it, Two started petting his thigh again. It felt nice; Ri was happy to get a chance to share some intimacy with his mate.
“I guess since this is a space for groups, it’s OK to be a little louder,” Red asserted. Ri did hear voices around them at a fairly normal volume; he felt Red’s suggestion was reasonable.
“I don’t get why that guy got on our case for being loud in the other room,” Blue asked.
People might want to concentrate on the books they’re reading, Two offered. I never got it either, but I suppose I understand if it can be distracting it can be polite to keep quiet.
It’s nice when it’s quiet while we’re working at home, though, Ri pointed out.
Usually you’re working on music, Two teased. When it’s not on your monitors, it’s on open-back headphones.
… Fair enough, Ri backed off, seeing Two’s point.
You know I don’t mind, Two said softly, letting up.
I do, Ri agreed, reassured. Sometimes it is quiet, he asserted.
That’s true, Two agreed. Like when we read.
Yeah, Ri said. It’s nice when it’s quiet when we read. We hear each other reading in our heads, though, he said, getting back at Two a little bit.
Yeah… Two admitted. Hearing you in my head is reassuring, though, he defended.
It is, Ri agreed. I don’t know what I’d do if I stopped hearing you.
I don’t either, Two said. It turned dark quickly; Ri sometimes regretted how quickly their fun turned sour like that. Ri couldn’t imagine being cut off from Two; he nearly shuddered thinking about it even though he was about as close to Two as he could be physically.
“I still don’t really know what that’s like,” Blue said. Ri thought about it, happy for the change in topic to distract him and Two from scary thoughts. He tried to remember what it felt like for Two to speak in his mind before they were mated.
What does it feel like to you when Two speaks in your mind? Ri asked.
“I feel the presence of his mind against mine. It was weird when he first started doing it when I evolved but I got used to it and I know it’s not as invasive as it felt at first.”
That helped Ri remember: before he played around with his and Two’s auras, Two’s voice sounded apart from his. It was like – Two was reaching out, grabbing his mind and making him think those thoughts to speak in his head, and he happened to hear them in Two’s voice since it was Two thinking those thoughts to him. After they mated and Ri gave Two some of his aura, though, Two stopped feeling ‘outside’ his mind and started feeling ‘inside’ his mind. It was probably more invasive, but it didn’t feel that way to Ri because Two’s voice felt almost like a part of him rather than another being forced on him.
It's like… I hear Two as part of me now, Ri said. His thoughts happen inside of my head but it feels natural, like they’re supposed to be there. I don’t need to work to see what he’s thinking or feeling because it’s all happening inside my head like my own thoughts and feelings.
I don’t need to work to read Ri, Two said. Everything he thinks is apparent to me as my own thoughts are.
“It still seems too much,” Blue said. “No privacy at all. I can’t imagine being so close to anybody.”
That isn’t – totally – true, Ri said, awkwardly.
“You mean –” Blue could sense for himself – he knew what Ri was getting at, or at the very least he saw Ri was getting at something.
I’ve… kept things from Ri, Two said.
“How is that possible?” Blue asked, in disbelief.
I wasn’t myself when Two saved me from Cipher, Ri said. Our bond, it… broke, for a little while, he said. He wasn’t sure how to explain it; he didn’t really remember, himself. It was something he really didn’t like thinking about.
It was terrifying, Two said, but for a little while, Ri wasn’t with me in my head. I had to… figure out many things on my own until I managed to get Ri back.
He kept a lot of that from me afterward, Ri said.
“Why?”
Even Two was bothered by the question. Ri knew why; he demonstrated why every time he started questioning himself for what he’d done to his mate. Ri hadn’t been strong enough to face it back then; he was barely strong enough now to face it and not fall apart. The conversation had turned truly compromising; Ri felt weak, small – like the hurt Lucario Two had found and rescued. He felt reduced to the broken Lucario he’d been when Two took him back from Cipher. He trusted Two – he trusted himself to pull through – but it was still hard.
Please, Two pleaded, we need to talk about something else.
I trust him to tell me when we’re both ready, Ri said weakly. I know some of it… it’s a lot of the reason I get the way I do. I made him do a lot to help me… I want to be able to take care of myself so he doesn’t have to work so hard to take care of me for me.
I’ll probably have to tell you soon, Two said, but please, he emphasized to the rest of the group, let’s do something else.
OK, Ri said, easily letting go of the topic for the moment. He didn’t really want to think about it either. He thought instead of the bandannas around his and Two’s necks; they were mates, they trusted each other and loved each other. They had just been having fun, so Ri didn’t want to ruin it. As he’d said, he trusted Two to tell him when it was time. Two didn’t seem to want to talk about it now, but Ri knew all the things he was going through; it was on Two’s mind that they would have to talk about it, so he trusted that, when it was appropriate, they would. It was scary to think about – Ri didn’t know much about how Two dealt with him in the beginning – but he hoped he and Two would manage to pull through it together.
Ri nuzzled against Two again for comfort and to try to comfort Two, then they teleported themselves their laptops so they could do more research. Sticking close, they set again to find something to do in Vermilion, this time involving Red and Blue much more directly to agree on something they could enjoy as a group. They came across all the same things – parks, the war museum, the docks, scores of restaurants which they weren’t interested in yet, and all the standard city entertainment which they weren’t particularly interested in either. This time, at least, they were able to discuss with Red and Blue to help form some idea of something to do. Ri and Two wanted to rest – they were thankful, at least, that they found a secluded, quiet, indoors place to take a break from the city around them for a bit. Red was rather satisfied with the gym and the markets, but understood they wanted to stay out until dinner and was interested in that. Blue was rather adamant about the parks, though; he wanted to see what they looked like. Ri figured he was thinking of his old home in Cerise Laboratory in another world’s Vermilion. He suddenly realized –
Wait – Ri blurt out, do you want to visit Cerise?
Blue looked away abash; he’d been caught. Ri had barely remembered Professor Cerise’s laboratory was in Vermilion. He wondered if it was there on his and Two’s world.
It’s not going to be the same Professor Cerise, Two remarked.
“I know,” Blue said. “I want to see what it’s like, though.”
Suddenly, Blue’s earlier worked-up state while they were waiting for Red made much more sense to Ri. He was surprised he missed it; he felt really bad he and Two hadn’t realized it earlier.
I’m sorry we missed it, he said.
“I tried to keep it from you,” Blue said. “It seemed like you were worrying about yourselves before, anyway. If anything, I’m happy you didn’t notice, it means you don’t pry.”
Ri thought back; he guessed it was better the way it happened. He and Two had been preoccupied, and Blue seemed to actually appreciate they missed it. The moment passed, so Ri turned his attention toward visiting Cerise Park.
He supposed it was a good idea, especially for Blue see how Ri and Two’s world was different from his old one. It interested everyone because they all knew Cerise and his park on Blue’s world, and Ri figured that if the park worked anything like it did on Blue’s world, it would be a safe, secluded area they could see without worrying about the public.
It’s going to be awkward, Ri considered out loud. For all of us.
“It’s not the same person, right? Then just treat him like he isn’t,” Blue said.
It’s not… usually that simple, Ri said.
“Oh, right…”
Ri had known Blue’s trainer – at least, another version of him. That trainer happened to be the one who had betrayed Ri to the poacher who sold him to Cipher, so it had been very difficult for him to remember the alternate one who trained Blue was a different person. Ri didn’t hold it against Blue for forgetting; it didn’t really involve him and Ri tried to keep it between himself and Two anyway.
It might be interesting, though, Two said. If it’s similar, it’s totally secluded so we wouldn’t have to worry about others.
“He might not like random pokemon showing up to visit his park,” Red said.
He might… enjoy learning about us, Ri said. If he’s anything like the Cerise we know… he paused to think about it, he’ll be understanding of us.
He’s more likely to know of us here anyway, Two offered.
“Would it be – possible for us to visit?” Blue asked.
Ri waited for Two to decide, then made to answer for both of them:
We don’t mind, he said.
“Sounds fun,” Red said. “As long as it doesn’t turn into a discussion with Cerise about how we’re all not normal pokemon.”
Ri saw Red’s point, and he agreed with it totally, of course. They were there to enjoy themselves and see the park, not lay out their secrets to a random human – even if they were pretty sure that human would be enough like the Cerise they knew.
I guess we could try, Ri figured out loud.
It might backfire on us, Two warned.
…
Ri wondered about it. It did seem weird – 4 random pokemon showing up to see a practical stranger’s private property – but it was, finally, something they all agreed on as a group that was interesting. Ri nearly wanted Blue to see this alternate Cerise to help him understand the difference between his universe and their universe, and he was interested himself, aside from the awkwardness of visiting a random person and the nervousness he felt visiting them for the first time.
“You guys are – were – leaders,” Red suggested, catching his mistake awkwardly. “It might not be so weird in that context.”
We just want to see his park though, Ri said.
“I would like to see,” Blue said.
Ri considered it; it felt weird but he hoped there was enough context to make it OK. If it was a similar place to the Cerise Laboratory they knew, it was private but it was open to the public – at least, the lab part was. He was sure they’d be welcome, but he didn’t know if they’d get to see his park or not.
I guess we can try, Ri said. We should probably be careful how we go about it.
I agree, Two said. It would be rude for us to go and expect to see his park, we should feel out what he expects.
“What if the park doesn’t work out?” Red asked.
I guess… we just say we’re here to visit and have fun, not have deep discussions about ourselves and find another park to visit? Ri offered.
“If he doesn’t let us see his park,” Blue agreed.
That sounds reasonable, Two agreed.
Would you be willing to talk? Ri asked, looking up at his mate. He’ll probably be more interested in you than in any of us.
… Maybe, Two said. Depends on what I sense and on how personal he’s trying to be.
Fair enough, Ri said. He just didn’t want Two to be uncomfortable; he brought it up so they were ready for it.
Having something to do felt encouraging. Ri was interested in Cerise and his lab and park. The Cerise they knew had been relatively kind and supportive – he had easily figured out Ri’s past but though it had been an awkward discussion he was supportive without going overboard, which Ri eventually managed to appreciate. If their Cerise was any similar, he’d be equally kind and supportive. If he were – Ri felt Cerise was a human he could be relatively comfortable around. He felt he wasn’t about to share his most vulnerable secrets and show Cerise his most vulnerable moments, but he felt that he and Two could trust him not to take advantage of them or hurt them, which meant a lot. A lot like old Professor Oak. Aside from that, Cerise Park was a fun place, with a few different ‘biomes’ where all sorts of pokemon could feel at home. Ri figured meeting the pokemon could be fun, and he appreciated the chance to roam a bit of nature with his mate, even if that nature were human-groomed and kept. It excited him; it was nice to feel.
He wasn’t quite ready yet, though; he was happy sitting with Two and their friends, too. At least, with a destination in mind, they were able to chill for a little while. Ri checked the news – there was no mention of them closing their gym yet, but he expected to see it very soon. Aside from that, everything was going normal. Trainers were roaming Kanto, collecting badges, making friends, getting stronger, preparing for the tournament that would highlight the season in just under a couple years. It was a huge event that overtook the entirety of Kanto and Johto both when it happened. It was vaguely exciting even if Ri and Two never really worried about it. They only ever worried about the battle against the Champion at the end – if there was one – since they had always appreciated the Champion of Kanto knowing and understanding them in even any small capacity. But Ri supposed it didn’t really matter to them anymore – they were just pokemon, now. It was weird and uncomfortable to think about; they didn’t have to worry about the League and anything that happened in it anymore. If they were interested, it was only for fun. It was a relief to Ri and Two both as they discussed it.
Aside from that, they chatted a bit. Blue mentioned a bit of nervousness meeting a new Cerise, while Red talked some about the League. They talked about how the city was, and Ri wondered what Blue thought of it since he’d remembered Vermilion was practically Blue’s home city. Blue said he didn’t know it much – he knew mostly Pallet Town and the park. Ri guessed it made sense; he remembered Blue as a Riolu had spent more time in Pallet than he did in Vermilion. Which, he supposed – made Pallet his home city, even if he hatched in Vermilion and, technically, he lived in Vermilion his entire life.
Red vaguely brought up dinner after visiting Cerise, too. It sounded like a good idea, but still Ri couldn’t bring himself to decide where to go. At the moment – Cerise was on his mind. He was excited about it, but it was kind of scary, too, so he wanted to at least get himself settled in the lab before thinking about dinner after. As they kept chilling the excitement and worrying mounted, so he eventually suggested they go. Everyone was ready, so they left the library behind and made their way.
Once again, Ri navigated to find Cerise Laboratory. It was a little later in the day, so it was a touch less active out which Ri appreciated. Two kept close to him again and Red and Blue stuck near them still, but it wasn’t as scary walking down the streets. With a bit of rest, it was easier watching for danger again, too, and with a destination in mind where Ri and Two hoped to be safe again, it wasn’t a big deal to bother with. Ri felt himself tiring, though – he wanted to be safe, home, and able to be affectionate without restraint. He was having fun – and it meant a lot to be able to do that with Two out in public like this – but there was still a lot they had to figure out to make it easier on them. He was happy to enjoy it, at least. His anxiety asserted itself as they came upon Cerise Laboratory, though. He sensed Cerise and his assistants inside – he hoped that meeting them would go well. He didn’t want it to be awkward and he didn’t want it to turn into some kind of research expo for Cerise, but he hoped that they could manage to have fun. Walking up to the door was terrifying – Ri felt he remembered the other Cerise having cameras to watch the front door and in fact sensed that the people inside were aware of them already – but with Two’s paw at his back to reassure him covertly and a sigh or two, he managed to knock on the door with his paw, softly asserting his presence through his fur. He waited nervously, worried about what sort of welcome they’d get. He sensed Two’s nervousness, too. Cerise was a scientist; Two didn’t have great experience with them. Oak was a good one, and the Cerise they knew was a good one, but that was no indication that this Cerise would be good, too. Ri just hoped it would work out as he sensed Cerise coming to the door. His nervousness came to a point as someone opened the door.
“Why – hello!” said the voice. Ri looked – it was Cerise, just as he’d expected, but he didn’t sense the same, which made it clear it wasn’t the same person. “Fancy seeing you here. You’re –” Ri watched painfully as Cerise thought to remember their names – “Two,” he identified, gesturing at Two “and Ri, your gym leader partner. I remember old Oak telling me stories about you from years ago, but I never imagined getting to meet you for myself, especially after you all but disappeared from public view.”
Hi, Ri managed awkwardly, after a short pause. He felt exposed as Cerise noticed his mind’s voice, and his ears flattened because he was unsure.
“Are you a telepathic Lucario?” Cerise asked. “I heard rumors that it’s possible, but there aren’t many Lucario in Kanto for me to study to verify them.”
Any Lucario can learn to speak, Blue asserted.
“Was that –” Cerise looked around to identify the second voice he heard, and Ri watched as Cerise realized. “You’re both telepathic,” he drew out.
We taught him how to speak, Ri said plainly.
“Fascinating,” Cerise said. Ri practically saw the gears in his mind turning – considering the implications of pokemon teaching other pokemon how to speak. It seemed exciting to him, but Ri didn’t care to bother figuring out why. He figured it was best to leave it alone anyway. At least – it didn’t seem like the worst response Cerise could’ve had.
“Oh – where are my manners,” Cerise faltered. “My apologies, please come in!” He stepped aside to let Ri and the others in.
Ri happily followed in after Cerise, relieved that the awkward introductions were over. For once, what Ri felt from the professor was mostly veneration toward his mate – a sheer respect for what and who he was. Whether he understood the implications and complications and subtleties of what Two was, Ri didn’t know, but aside from how awkward his mate felt, Ri thought it was a relatively OK start. They just had to see how it was going to go from there, and even if the start felt relatively reassuring, Ri still worried it would fall apart from there.
They followed him into the living area they were used to, but it was decorated differently. Whether it was because Cerise was different or because it was a different time with different styles, Ri didn’t know. It was a modest living room, with places for them all to sit and a TV which seemed to be there simply to be able to provide entertainment. At the very least, there was room enough for them all to sit. Ri sat by his mate, of course, but he didn’t cuddle into Two or nuzzle against him or anything. At least – Two shifted close to him so they were touching, which Ri appreciated.
“So… what brings you pokemon to my lab?” Cerise asked. “And, if you don’t mind me asking, who are these friends you’ve brought along? Two Lucario, a Mewtwo, and a Zoroark – not exactly pokemon common to Kanto.”
We wanted to see your lab, Ri said.
“Suddenly, out of the blue when you’ve been dead silent for so long?” Cerise said, calling them out. It didn’t sound sincere – it sounded playful, like he was just making conversation – but it shook in Ri’s body, resounding through him like an accusation.
“I –” Cerise faltered. Ri had barely realized; he guessed he’d shuddered or something that betrayed how Cerise’s statement bothered him.
“We were visiting Vermilion,” Red said, to save the moment. “It sounded like fun to come see your place.”
“Was that –” Once again, Cerise looked around surprised.
“Me,” Red said, gesturing to get Cerise’s attention. “I can speak too.”
At the very least, Cerise just accepted it this time and moved on.
“Right – do you keep up with the Professor?” Cerise asked, apparently letting the awkward mishaps slide.
We used to, Ri said shortly, uncomfortable but not yet alarmed.
“He is getting pretty old,” Cerise offered. “He must not get around too much anymore.”
Ri figured not, but he didn’t really care. He supposed he and Two should try and see him again, but mostly he thought of a Lucario they’d befriended who lived there, who surely ended up doing most of the work for Oak. Ri hoped Lucario appreciated it; he’d gone to live with Oak to help the pokemon, after all.
“Anyway, how is Cinnabar Gym going? I was surprised the League gave it to you, but since then it seemed like the place was a perfect fit for the two of you.”
Ri foresaw the pain he and Two could endure, but at the same time, he didn’t feel he could lie. He prepared himself, and laid it out plainly:
We gave it up. It’s not public yet.
“You –” Cerise was shocked; Ri guessed it was an OK response. “What made you retire?”
That’s our business, Two said, a touch protectively. That was too far, Ri agreed; Cerise didn’t need to know why they decided to stop being gym leaders.
“Fine,” Cerise let up, “I won’t pry.” He lifted his hands like it wasn’t a big deal, but… it was. At the very least – not making a big deal of it let the moment pass by without further aggravating Ri or Two. “At least – Two, I’m interested in hearing from you. I remember what Oak told me about you long ago but much has happened since we last talked about you.”
I am not quick to speak, Two said. Ri sensed that even saying that felt too far for Two, but Ri saw how he hoped that going that far would at least stop Cerise from prying too much. Aside from that, Ri saw how Two wasn’t sure about Cerise and Oak talking about him at all.
“… I understand,” Cerise finally said. This time – Ri sensed genuine sympathy from Cerise; it wasn’t just something he said to make the conversation go smoothly, it was a gesture that showed that he thought something of Two. Ri saw that Two appreciated it; it meant Cerise wasn’t going to pry into him like a scientist analyzing data. “In that case – if it isn’t too much, I would appreciate at least knowing how you found yourself with a Lucario partner. From what Oak said – you were very much a ‘lone Mightyena.’
Two glanced at Ri; Ri caught it for a moment. Ri felt it was up to Two; he didn’t mind letting Cerise know. It was mostly up to what Two felt comfortable sharing.
We are mated, Two said dryly. He is my mate.
Cerise seemed surprised; Ri saw it bothered Two, like – “you’re not supposed to be the sort of pokemon to mate like that” but Ri sensed Two try not to read into it too much. From what they could glean so far, the only information Cerise knew about Two was from before Two mated Ri. Back then – even Two could see someone thinking he would never open up and care for another. It wasn’t like that anymore they both knew, but they could forgive Cerise for not thinking that way.
“You must be close mates,” Cerise guessed. “It is incredible to have mated pokemon to be able to talk to…”
Once again, Ri and Two both saw the wheels spinning in Cerise’s head. This time it was more directly insulting and demeaning; neither of them wanted Cerise to ‘study’ their mateship. They didn’t plan on being open about it at all enough for him to learn anything, anyway. He seemed to notice at least.
“My apologies,” he backed off, “I’d only study something like that if you let me.”
The encounter so far had been a relief. Cerise had that ‘scientist’ drive to him – to study, to learn, to… frankly, reduce everything around him to data points and things to observe, but he was also able to back off and be just a normal person. He responded to Ri and Two and their boundaries – it helped them both feel comfortable asserting them and comfortable within what they were willing to show Cerise.
“But, Ri, if you don’t mind me asking, your color –”
I do, Ri quickly emphasized. It took him off-guard, but he needed to shut it down quickly.
“… It’s not natural,” Cerise hinted seriously. It drove through Ri; like the other one, this Cerise had rather quickly identified his past from his appearance. “I promise, I won’t pry.”
…
Ri figured settling down and allowing himself to be comfortable again was thanks enough. Cerise backed off; that was what mattered. Ri just hoped it was clear now that those were boundaries that he couldn’t test. That he’d have to wait until Ri and Two were willing to lift them. It just alarmed him that Cerise had guessed at his past so easily. He wondered: was it so obvious he was an abused pokemon?
Most people don’t seem to notice, Two reassured him, even with your brand.
I just want to be a Lucario, Ri said, I don’t want to be…
He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He wanted to be treated like a normal Lucario, but at the same time, he understood that he didn’t relate to others like a normal Lucario. He didn’t want to be babied because he was abused, but he wanted his past of abuse to be respected, too. It started to close in on him – he started to panic and overthink – he noticed but he wasn’t really sure how to get out of it.
He seems to understand, at least, Two said. It helped Ri center himself; they were here with Cerise; it wasn’t a great idea to get caught up in how others might treat him. What mattered at the moment was how Cerise was treating them, and so far Cerise hadn’t babied them for anything.
I guess, Ri said back. Thanks, he said, recognizing that he’d nearly started to fall apart again.
Of course, Two offered him.
“So – do you want to meet my assistants?” Cerise asked. Ri wasn’t sure about it; it had been hard enough meeting just Cerise. He’d just gotten through the awkward step of meeting a new person, so he didn’t really want to go through it again. Two didn’t seem to want to do that either, but as Cerise made to get up to fetch them, Ri sensed Two start panicking. He was thinking about something Cerise had said earlier, and Ri sensed he didn’t want to let it go. If Cerise left and came back with others – Ri saw Two felt his slight chance to approach the topic would evaporate.
–Wait, Two said, trying his best to control what he was feeling. It was a sudden thing he felt since he suddenly didn’t want to let the moment pass; Ri understood he was a little unprepared for it.
“What is it?” Cerise asked, pausing mid-rising from his seat. Ri sensed how difficult it was for Two to go through with the outburst; he tried showing his support without being too obvious about it, mostly letting it sit in his mind so Two could sense it and hopefully draw the courage to ask.
… What did Oak say about me? Two asked, seriously. Ri saw how vulnerable and awkward it was for him; he hoped Two could pull through and he hoped that Cerise’s answers weren’t too hard on him. Ri could see how confusing it could be for Two to hear what others thought and perceived of him before he’d become the pokemon he was now. And – Ri saw how hard it was for Two to speak up to ask, too.
“He said you were a good pokemon,” Cerise said, sitting back down. “He said, one day, you’re going to struggle a lot with your identity because of how Team Rocket treated you.”
A –
Two seemed surprised by Cerise’s answer, and it seemed troubling to him, too. Ri knew Two didn’t expect it, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing. Two just receded to consider its implications. It cut through Two; he hadn’t expected to be so precisely predicted by Oak years before Two actually found himself troubled in the way Oak had said. Ri felt he could parse them out: it showed first that Cerise considered Two a being, not just an experiment. He appreciated that Two was an incredible work of human achievement, but he saw Two as a pokemon with his own sovereignty. It showed Oak had foreseen who Two was years before he opened up to Ri and felt enabled to open up more. Two didn’t know himself, but Oak had known him enough to guess that he was going to go through everything he was going through at the moment.
“I don’t think Oak had any idea back then that you would be able to open up to relate so closely to another.”
… I greatly appreciate him, Two said, through a cloud of confusion as Ri saw several things going through his mind at once. Two looked at Ri awkwardly; Ri made eye contact and tried to be reassuring. He understood; Two couldn’t nearly be open with Cerise. Ri just kept it in the back of his mind: he could tease Two with that, as long as Two wasn’t going to be hurt by it.
“I’m sure you both mean a lot to each other,” Cerise drew out. “But – if you’re anxious about meeting my assistants, why don’t I let you slip through into the park? I can let you explore at your leisure – you can meet whoever you want if you feel comfortable with it.”
–OK, Ri said. It was a relief; he was excited to get to doing the things they actually wanted to do. Two was on his mind, though; he’d been pretty knocked up by what Cerise had said. He hoped they’d be able to think through it once they had a moment more alone. With that, Cerise got up again to lead them through to the park. Ri got up to follow him, but noticed Two hanging back in thought. Ri touched his paw to get his attention, and Two looked at him half-aware.
Two? He poked, hoping to get Two’s attention without bothering him.
–Yeah, Two responded. He pulled himself together and got up to follow Ri. Red and Blue followed after them, chasing after Cerise who was peeking through the door he wanted them to go through. It was a slightly tender moment, Ri supposed, that he just showed Cerise, but… he hoped it wasn’t too much, and he felt he’d needed to get Two’s attention without bothering him. As they followed Cerise, he figured he’d figured out how close they were anyway.
They followed Cerise through a couple doors and hallways – Ri remembered how the lab was a bit convoluted. They remembered the way, though, and soon Cerise opened the door to the park. Ri led Two, Red, and Blue through, and Cerise followed in after them.
“This is Cerise Park,” he said, “Many of the pokemon who are kind enough to let us study them stay here. Also, many of the pokemon our research partners catch reside here, too. It’s become rather lively recently – you will have many pokemon to meet, if you wish!”
Research partners? Blue asked, alarmed. His old trainer was a research partner; Ri understood completely that he wouldn’t want to chance seeing another version of him.
“They are out on a mission in Unova, so they aren’t around.”
Blue seemed to relax; it was good that things were working out for them.
“I’ll leave you all alone to explore at your leisure,” Cerise said. “Just come back here and ring the bell when you’re ready to leave.”
OK, Ri said awkwardly. He was happy Cerise was letting them roam free, but it put it on them not to overstay, too. He guessed they wouldn’t spend too long; they wanted dinner. It didn’t overshadow the relief he felt as Cerise closed the door and left them alone, though. He looked at his mate, gauging how he felt – Two had been pretty bothered by the things Cerise said Oak had said about him. They still swam in the back of his mind, Ri saw, making him half-present. He figured Two was feeling OK enough for Ri to tease him a bit.
It feels good to be ‘greatly appreciated,’ Ri teased cautiously, being careful to be uplifting about it so it was obvious he wasn’t upset.
Ri –
Two turned suddenly, and quickly hugged him close to try to show what he meant in full. Ri knew a lot was on his mate’s mind; Two was nearly overwhelmed with it.
You know what I meant, he said softly. I’m dearly grateful for everything you’ve given me.
I know~ Ri replied. It was just funny to hear you put it that way.
Two sighed; he was relieved that Ri wasn’t hurt.
I’m sorry, he said, I want to learn how to be more open so I don’t have to do that anymore.
That’s… what we’re trying to do, Ri pointed out plainly. He sensed and felt Two nod above him; he was happy everything was OK. He nuzzled against Two and hugged him back, rubbing his back a little to feel his fur.
I didn’t expect what he said Oak said, Two explained. He knew, he foresaw, he called me a good pokemon even though –
Two didn’t seem sure about it; Ri wanted to help him.
I saw the same thing in you, he tried saying. It was why I was comfortable around you at first.
I know, Two said, but I didn’t expect a human to see through me like that too.
He didn’t totally see, Ri consoled. Cerise said Oak didn’t foresee you opening up and mating me.
I suppose so, Two said. It’s… I didn’t think I was – predictable. How did a human know how hard it was going to be on me before I did? How did he read me so easily?
I don’t know, Ri admitted. He didn’t know how to comfort Two, except for letting him hug him as much as he wanted, and being available for Two to bunt and nuzzle against.
… I need to figure out how to process it, Two said. He sighed as he set himself to it. Ri knew it was hard on him, but Ri appreciated him trying to take initiative on it. He hoped Two knew he was there to help if he wanted. He seemed to manage it himself, though, and made himself see the full picture aside from the initial feelings he had. He bunted Ri a couple times as he surfaced.
If Oak thought I was good, Two said, it can be reassuring, he decided.
Ri thought Two was a good pokemon, but Ri knew Two knew he was biased, too. It was different to hear from someone who wasn’t invested in their relationship, Ri understood, especially from back then when Two hadn’t shown so many redeeming qualities. For Oak to see them in him before he knew they were there himself and could even identify them – Ri saw how it made Two feel inept and even kind of stupid. He seemed to push it down, though, and see that the comments could be encouraging, too.
He knew how I was handling it, Two asserted. I… can be blamed for refusing to see, but I can’t be blamed for being unable to see. He seems to have recognized that I would have difficulty seeing. I feel silly because he predicted it, but I am also comforted that he didn’t expect me to be able to figure everything out. It is… a relief that his statements validate the difficulty I have.
Ri was happy Two managed to come to that conclusion. It was an encouraging one: Ri saw how it helped Two feel OK that he was struggling so much. He was a mess, but it was expected of him to be a mess, at least from people who took the time to genuinely understand him and his situation. Along with Ri not blaming him for any of it, it emboldened him to keep struggling to improve.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
I managed to figure it out, Two reassured him. Ri nodded into his chest; he was happy for Two to return to him a bit and thankful he managed to make himself do it this time. Two was a little happier; it was nice for Ri to see.
“It’s nice he left us alone,” Blue stated. “He seemed to figure out we like having space.”
Ri wasn’t totally sure that was it, but he didn’t feel great saying it out loud.
He saw we needed space, Two admitted. We didn’t do well to hide what we were feeling.
“You managed it fairly well,” Red said.
He was gracious, Ri said back. He let things slide.
“Does that mean he’s a good Cerise?” Blue asked.
I don’t know, Ri said. Along with the way he’d treated them respectfully and with how he easily let them be, though, showed that he at least had tact. Whether he was someone Ri felt he could truly trust, Ri didn’t know yet.
At least we can explore by ourselves, Two said.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
“He said there’ll be a lot of pokemon, though, right?” Red asked.
Ri figured so, but he hoped they’d be approachable compared to the humans. He and Two didn’t have nearly so many problems with pokemon as they did with people, so Ri hoped they could have a relaxing visit.
I guess so, he said.
“I wonder if any of them are the same as they were at my Cerise,” Blue wondered out loud.
It seems like we’ll find out, Two said.
They collected themselves and looked around. The park was familiar, with similar features and apparently a similar layout. It was uncanny visiting a place they knew from another world and for it to be so similar, and it was strange for this to be their home world and that they knew the place from another. It was the same place but there was a totally different context to it. A different time, different people, different pokemon, different associations. Blue had confronted his trainer in a nearby field, but even if it looked like the same field, it was different. It felt to Ri like they should be used to it, but he realized that they didn’t really visit places they knew on other worlds. Or, if they did, they weren’t nearly so similar.
“It’s weird to be back,” Blue said, vaguely summarizing everything Ri was feeling.
It’s not the same place, Two pointed out.
“But I know it,” Blue said.
He ran off – Ri nearly chastised him for it but he guessed this was practically Blue’s home turf, even if it wasn’t the same place. He just followed, happy at least that he could sense so he didn’t have to look for Blue, and Two and Red followed close behind. He stopped in the nearby grassy area; it was a small, gentle field which seemed like a great place to laze around. Ri saw a few pokemon laying comfortably in it, but while they caught the lazing pokemons’ attention Blue was commanding Ri and Two’s and Red’s.
“Ash and I trained Aura Sphere here,” Blue said. “That rock –” he gestured off in the distance to a large rock sitting on top of a short cliff – “I broke it. That was before you taught me better.” He ran off again, leaving Ri, Two and Red to follow after him again. He stopped in front of a tree in the nearby forest area. It was calm, Ri knew from the other Cerise Park, but it wasn’t like Viridian Forest.
“I trained Force Palm against this tree,” he said. “It hurt but at least Ash didn’t make me keep doing it until I bled.” There was a touch of spite in his voice; Ri guessed Blue’s opinion of Ash soured since they separated. Ri didn’t blame Blue, and he wondered why Ash had Blue use Force Palm on a tree of all things. Blue ran off once more before Ri and the others could really catch up, though. It was becoming too much but nobody was really going to stop him; it was clear he needed to go through this stuff. He stopped in the rock-type area, a kind of dusty waste which didn’t seem pleasant to Ri but he supposed it was nice enough.
“When we weren’t training and Ash was out, I liked staying here,” Blue said. “Cubone was my friend, we play-battled when we got restless from wanting to go out on adventures. Or, we’d sit and watch other pokemon train themselves.”
“And… Mrs. Ketchum’s,” Blue remembered. “She always felt nearby, I sometimes wondered what the Mewtwo were doing.”
Blue finally settled down, slumping onto the ground on his backside. Ri sensed memories rushing through his mind – everything, at least, that wasn’t tainted by his falling out with Ash. There were things he missed, Ri sensed – things he’d practically forgotten about in the fallout with his trainer. Ri understood how he nearly forgot about those things trying to escape the situation with Ash.
“This was my home,” he said. “Now…”
It’s not your home, Two said.
“I know,” Blue emphasized, sounding frustrated. Two seemed upset; Ri understood why. It was important Blue recognized this place wasn’t his. Ri glanced at his mate, trying his best to communicate, nonverbally, let him go through it while still being supportive.
OK, Two said, sounding a bit discouraged and hurt. Ri felt bad for him; he’d mentioned it because he cared but Blue had dismissed it.
“I didn’t think I’d miss it,” Blue finally admitted. Ri glanced at Two again; he didn’t seem so willing to help anymore but they sat down beside Blue together in an attempt to be supportive.
It was good you were able to remove yourself from it, Ri said.
“I don’t think I regret it,” Blue said, “but I didn’t know I’d miss anything, either.”
“It’s like that,” Red said, sitting down on Blue’s other side. “The things we do aren’t always totally good or totally bad. Usually they’re a bit of both.”
Ri knew what Red was saying, but he watched Blue consider it and figure it out and guess.
“Do you miss anything about being human?” Blue asked. Ri sensed Red hesitate; clearly he didn’t really want to talk about it at the moment.
“It’s complicated,” Red said, deflecting rather coldly.
“Like how it feels for me,” Blue said.
They sat for a little while just thinking. Ri sensed how Two felt; Two was still hurting. Ri knew how it was: Two was trying not to beat himself up for trying to be open to Blue. Blue had hurt him… Ri felt bad that he’d put himself out there to be burned by a friend. It was discouraging, Ri saw, and he watched the walls Two was trying to bring down go back up. The cold Two returned; Ri wasn’t upset at Blue for being upset but he was sad that Two was hurt and he didn’t want Two to be hurt for trying to show care. It was a complicated situation: Ri understood that Two wanted to make sure Blue didn’t get caught up and mistreat a place that wasn’t his, but Blue needed to process things that came upon him suddenly, too. Signals got mixed up, and Blue took Two warning him to be thoughtful as an assertion he wasn’t allowed to remember the things he did in his version of the lab. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, Ri thought, it was just a misunderstanding and a miscommunication. Two could’ve been more careful, Ri supposed, but Blue could’ve been more understanding, too. He just wanted Two to feel better.
At the same time, Blue was thinking, too, considering everything that was going on from his perspective. He processed, and settled down from his sudden outburst.
Eventually, Ri perked up from watching his poor mate as he noticed Blue preparing to say something.
“Two… I think I understand what you were trying to say. I can’t treat this place like it’s mine. It’s not.” Blue sighed. “I’m sorry I snapped before.”
Two didn’t say anything; Ri saw how he was still slightly in shock from it. He’d closed up… Ri knew it would take him a little while to let go again.
… It matters he realized, Two said to Ri privately. Even then, they both knew, they couldn’t really keep what they thought from Blue. I recognize what I am, I am in no position to hold a grudge for Blue doing the same.
Ri understood what Two was saying. If Two himself was quick to snap, he had to understand if others snapped back. Ri appreciated Two managing to come to that conclusion; it was really important. It meant Two was being open – at least as open as he could push himself to manage. At the same time – Ri recognized Blue deserved to hear it too.
Maybe… tell him, Ri suggested. It was a little scary saying it, but he wanted to help Two, and part of that, was, he understood, prompting his mate to push himself. I think he would understand, he supplied, trying to get across that he didn’t think he was trying to make Two do something that would end up hurting him. He sensed Two think about it, then he sensed Two muster himself to do it.
OK, he said. Then –
I’m not in a position to hold a grudge, he said weakly out loud.
“I understand,” Blue said. “Thank you for trying to help, I am sorry I didn’t take it well before.”
Two glanced at Ri; Ri nodded at him slightly to let him know everything was alright. He could accept it and let it go without having to push himself further. Ri nuzzled against Two once but he let off and sat back; they were there together for Blue at the moment. Two seemed reassured, at least. He was still out of it because of what happened, but at least he allowed himself to hurt now he knew that Blue understood and had acknowledged the effort he’d made and the help he offered.
“We can see the rest of the place,” Blue offered, “I won’t run off again.”
OK, Ri said. He appreciated it; they could roam around normally rather than being pulled along by Blue’s nostalgia train. He could pay attention to Two again, and he felt that having a bit of quiet might be helpful to his mate. At least – something to distract him from his interaction with Blue and help him settle down so he could maybe open up again. Ri nudged against him again; Two had gotten lost in thought about himself and who he was. Ri felt bad because this trip was meant to be a distraction from that stuff. It was meant to be a little celebration of Two prompting himself to engage in this difficult stuff, not a way for them to engage it further.
I love you, Ri said, hoping to get Two out of the mood a little bit and reassure him. Two caught it quickly and it knocked him out of it a little bit; he made eye contact with Ri and became present again.
I love you too, Two said softly. Ri was happy he seemed to appreciate the sentiment. I… can’t let it get to me, he continued, more in his usual way but still being open toward his mate. I have to forgive it, just…
It makes it harder to try to do it again in the future, Ri drew out. Two nodded, letting Ri know he was right. He’s our friend, but we still have to figure him out a little like we had to Red, Ri said.
And he has to get used to us too, Two continued. He sighed, thinking about stuff again. I hope it will not be so painful learning how to interact with the public, Two said.
I hope so too, Ri agreed. It was a daunting task; it loomed in their minds even though they were just trying to have fun. We don’t have to think about it for a bit, at least, Ri suggested.
We will have to at some point, Two asserted.
But… not now, Ri nearly pleaded.
I don’t want to think about it now either, Two agreed. Ri considered: Two had just done a similar thing he’d done to what had bothered Blue: he’d tried to keep Ri ‘grounded’ by reminding him of realities when he was drifting from them. Ri didn’t mind because Ri understood and was able to push back without being hurtful; Ri guessed Blue didn’t understand before, so he pushed back in a way that was hurtful. It was unfortunate, but Ri hoped Two saw that he wasn’t necessarily wrong for pointing it out or trying to be helpful. Ri just understood that it might be a little while before Two could muster the strength to do something like it again. At least, Ri hoped he could manage to let it go and remain open with someone they cared about at least as a friend.
I’ll try, Two said, responding to his thoughts. I’ll try to open up again.
I understand, Ri said. It was partly on Blue, too, he knew, to show that he was receptive too. It just meant that Two wasn’t going to close up for the sake of closing up and stay that way. Ri appreciated it.
I guess we should get going, Two suggested. It’ll be fun to see our version of the park.
Yeah, Ri agreed. I guess we’ll see if any pokemon want to meet us.
I would like some quiet, Two admitted.
Me too, Ri said. I guess we’ll see what happens.
Yeah, Two agreed.
They got up finally, and Blue and Red noticed so they got up too. They looked around, wondering where to go first. The cave was nearby, and it felt kind of novel to visit, so they decided to take a look. As they entered it grew dark but it wasn’t a problem for any of them. It felt kind of strange, coming to see a place they could barely see, but Ri and Two and Blue could at least sense the pokemon that were around them. The rock types were rather surprised to see the strange pokemon of other types, but at the very least they were able to pass through without alarming anyone, which was refreshing for Two. He didn’t usually alarm anyone anymore when they visited Viridian Forest or other places, but some pokemon remembered when he was hostile and remained scared of him even now. Those pokemon were starting to die out, though, so the new pokemon they saw didn’t know who Two was. Ri knew it meant a lot to Two to not be immediately labelled when he was seen. That way – especially with how he was trying to grow now – he could show others the pokemon he was without being drowned out by the pokemon everyone presumed him to be. That meant a lot to him to feel like a ‘normal’ pokemon, which Ri understood was important. After all – he totally understood, with his past. Nobody on his world knew what he did as XD2. Sometimes it felt like he was pretending – hiding behind it to be seen as something he wasn’t – but he had to remind himself when that happened that he didn’t choose what he did as XD2 and that, even if he remembered it all, XD2 had done those things. It was sometimes hard to get his head around, but he was convinced that if XD2 didn’t remember who Ri was when he did those things, Ri couldn’t really say he did them even if he remembered doing them as XD2. XD2 was a murderer… Ri hated remembering the feeling of it. It had been devastating when Ri first ‘woke up’ after Two saved him from Cipher, but while it sometimes still hit him hard he’d generally learned to be OK, at least about that stuff in particular. It had consequences, though, alongside with how Cipher had degraded him to force him to do those things.
But Two – Two didn’t get the mercy of the pokemon around him not knowing who he was. Not at least until recently. Ri was happy he could get to enjoy it finally.
They moved on from the caves, and found what nearly amounted to a swamp. It fascinated Two how Cerise managed to fit so many biomes in a small area, but they weren’t too interested in getting their fur muddy, so they moved on quickly and carefully to a nearby lake, where they came across a few water type pokemon on its shore. The pokemon outside the cave were even less surprised by them than the cave pokemon were, leading Ri and Two to believe that these pokemon were used to visitors, even if they were pokemon. It was a relief to Ri and Two both, as it meant they didn’t have to engage with every pokemon who saw them. Blue was interested, though, so he engaged them a bit, asking about what it was like living in the park or about what Cerise did. They returned to the forest and found some bug types and grass types chilling in the cool shade as the sun was going down and filtering through the leaves. Ri appreciated it and it made him miss Veridian, but he let it go since he and Two could go visit their forest practically any time they wanted. Finally they visited the plains they’d started in, and noticed a few pokemon training together. Ri guessed they were some of the research associates’ pokemon, at least a couple that they hadn’t decided to bring along for the trip they were on. Ri sensed they missed going on the journey with their trainers, but he supposed at least they weren’t stuck in their pokeballs in some pokemon center somewhere waiting indefinitely for their trainer to pull them out again. These pokemon – a Marowak, a Lairon and an Axew – all seemed more interested in Ri and Two than the others did. They ended up engaging Ri and Two, asking them about how powerful they were, to which they tried to be modest and deflect without admitting how powerful especially Two was, or they asked what regions they came from since they didn’t recognize Lucario, Mewtwo, or two of them Zoroark. Marowak caught Two mentioning he was a Kanto pokemon, which Two was able to deflect by calling himself a rare one, but Ri saw how it didn’t make him happy being reminded that he was the only Mewtwo in existence. Aside from that, the pokemon invited them to train, which they all declined, then they went back to training with each other to pass the time. Two especially was feeling rather burnt out after even just that short encounter, so they backed off, found a quiet, private place to sit, and rested for a bit.
Walking around at first was a little shaky as Two was in a poor mood, but Ri was happy for him to settle down as they kept walking and as pokemon generally left them alone. He appreciated getting the chance to chill with his mate for a little while and have fun walking around a nice place without worrying about people. It was almost like visiting Viridian Forest, but faint queues told them it was artificial and when they looked up, the glass dome protecting the whole place made it obvious it was human-created. It was OK, though; it helped Blue feel a little more at home – within reason, Ri and Two both made sure to check – and it was restful enough for them all. Once they were resting, they relaxed even more, and they allowed themselves time to reflect on the day and prepare themselves for dinner, which they were all starting to look forward to finally. Ri was happy about everything they’d managed to do – they’d withstood Omar, watched Red battle and win a badge, explored Vermilion, and helped Blue feel a little more at home on their world. Ri tugged lightly at the bandanna around his neck – it felt a bit redundant but it reminded him of how close he was to Two, as being close to Two was the only reason he was wearing it. He thought it was cute and it lifted his mood a bit remembering that he and Two were managing a day out fairly well. It was fun, exploring new places with Two, at least when they were able to keep themselves in check. Ri hoped that, with practice, they’d be able to keep themselves in check more easily and that it would become automatic so they didn’t have to try at it so hard anymore. That was a long-term goal, though; something they needed to work on once they were more prepared for it. Instead, Ri glanced at his mate, and thought of how hard Two was working to grow. Ri knew how hard it was for him to consider his past, his place in the world, his identity, how he related to others, but he was facing it to be a better, healthier mate. Ri admired it and appreciated it, and it was motivating to him to reflect on himself, too. He knew he wasn’t a great mate either. Trying to brush aside the usual traps he found himself in, he articulated in his own mind carefully that he was in the same place – working hard to better himself. He had his own challenges to face: his inability to handle any push-back from anyone who wasn’t Two or a close friend, his tendency to trap himself in spirals without provocation or otherwise, his difficulty relating to humans. It was hard, it was all horribly difficult because his instinct to go those places was quicker and stronger than his ability to keep himself from them. They were part of his identity – the broken identity he’d fought back from Cipher – and it felt scary stripping away at them – at his very being, basically – to replace them with healthy behaviors. Ri understood that his trauma would never go away – that he would always be an abused pokemon – but the journey to healing over those scars – at least up until this point – was long, painful, and bad for the pokemon around him. He wanted to change that – to be better for Two and Red and Blue – but he saw more pain and hurt before he got there. It was scary, but… he wanted to be better.
He sighed; it was getting darker and he was starting to get hungry. He knew it was important to take the moment to rest, but he didn’t want to spend too long contemplating when he still wanted to do things with his mate and friends. He looked to Two again and this time managed to catch Two’s attention. Two smiled at him, and Ri smiled back; it always brightened his day to see Two happy. They kept looking at each other this time, sharing feelings of affection and closeness without having to be personal about it.
The bandanna actually looks pretty good on you, Two admitted. Ri looked to see the bandanna his mate was wearing; he hadn’t really noticed and had already almost forgotten it was there. It was tied around his neck in purple, accenting his second neck and eyes and tummy and tail. It emphasized his purple, breaking his head from his torso.
You do too, Ri reflected.
I’m still not sure how I like it, Two said. To emphasize it, he held it in his paw and turned his head a couple times, to exaggerate the feeling of it rubbing against his fur.
We don’t have to keep wearing them, Ri offered. I do like wearing it with you, though, he qualified.
I find it cute too, Two admitted. I find you cute anyway, though, I’d rather hug and cuddle and tease you to show it.
Ri understood, he preferred that too. It flustered him slightly, causing him to blush under his fur. He knew if he wasn’t careful, the situation would devolve into them doing something adorable together. It sounded amazing, but it was still relatively public… he figured they could leave the adorable stuff for later.
At least, we can wear them while we’re figuring out how to be comfortable with that stuff, Ri suggested in an effort to sideline himself and Two from getting too into it.
We can, Two agreed. Though I don’t know if others will presume that if Red and Blue are wearing them too.
It’s probably better that way, Ri said.
Probably so, Two agreed.
“Shouldn’t we find something to eat?” Blue suggested, breaking up the moment. It frustrated Ri for a moment, but he realized it was rather silly, so he let go of it. Instead, he remembered he was hungry and that he’d meant to suggest it before getting distracted by Two.
Sounds good, Ri agreed. Does anything stand out to anyone?
Not really, Two said.
“I’m fine with whatever,” Red offered. They watched as Blue considered.
“We haven’t had pizza in a little while,” he suggested. “It was a lot of fun when we had it last.”
It sounded like a good idea to Ri, but what he saw Blue was thinking was a ‘casual’ sort of pizza meal like the sort where they bought pies to-go and ate them chilling together at some table outside. It was still a celebration, so Ri glanced again at Two. They agreed: they could show Blue that pizza could be a ‘serious’ thing, too. They got excited about it pretty quickly; it felt great being excited about it.
“What are you guys thinking?” Blue challenged un-seriously.
Pizza, Ri explained non-helpfully. We’ll find a place.
Ri and Two shifted close to take a look, and Ri pulled out his phone to do some research. They looked for a nice, pokemon-friendly place, and were happy to find one in the city that reviewed well. It was a little far away, but Ri supposed it was a chance to see more of the city. It had more than just pizza, too, so it was sure to have food for all of them if for any reason some of them decided they weren’t up for pizza. It was great to be excited about it; Ri looked up from his phone at Red and Blue both looking at them in a vague sense of worry over seeing the two of them ‘gremlin-ing’ together.
We have a place, Ri said.
“Is it good?” Red asked.
Should be, Two replied.
“At least you guys seem excited about it,” Blue decided.
It’s nice to feel, Ri admitted.
It is, Two agreed.
Red and Blue glanced at each other; Ri was happy at least that they trusted that they wouldn’t gremlin over being too mean to their friends. Ri just supposed he and Two were being gay; he could let it be OK for it to be a little awkward for Red and Blue as long as long as they weren’t too uncomfortable.
“Are we ready to go then?” Red asked.
Yeah, Ri said.
I think so, Two agreed. Blue hung, though, for a moment.
“It’s going to be weird leaving again,” he said. “I remembered a lot about my old life… it’s weird thinking I can’t have that anymore.”
Ri understood. He understood totally. He sensed what his mate felt: Two had something to say but given what happened before he decided it was better just to leave it be. He seemed a bit discouraged because of it, but he didn’t seem too bad. Ri knew he was looking forward to dinner, at least. Ri tried to acknowledge it, though, which Two seemed to appreciate. Two got up, and held his paw out and pulled Ri up and hugged him. It was sudden, but Ri didn’t mind. It was nice, for Two to do something spontaneous like that. Ri nuzzled against his mate and they let go as Red and Blue prepared themselves. They walked back to the doors to the park, remembering unhappily that they had to deal with Cerise. At the very least, Cerise had shown himself to be approachable, if not yet trustworthy. They could deal with it. Ri rung the bell as asked, and unfortunately it was one of Cerise’s assistants who came. At the very least – Ri and Two could sense them coming so they weren’t disappointed and surprised when it wasn’t Cerise.
“Oh, hello!” said the assistant, “A – Mewtwo and a purple Lucario, you must be Two and Ri,” he continued. “Did you need something?”
We’re ready to go, Ri said shortly. The assistant sounded scared of Two; Ri assumed he’d heard of how powerful Two was from Cerise but Cerise didn’t get across that Two wasn’t scary. Ri wished Cerise could’ve been more careful, but at the same time he guessed that if all the assistant heard was “big scary cat who can murder you easily” then… that was all he was going to hear even if Cerise had been careful to mention that Two wasn’t a bad pokemon.
“Alright,” the assistant said shortly. He stepped aside to let them all through. “I hope you enjoyed your stay,” he said awkwardly, betraying his understanding of Two.
It’s a nice place, Ri said, it’s impressive how you manage to keep so many biomes close together.
He said that for Two; Ri figured Two would appreciate Cerise knowing he admired the place.
“It takes a lot of care and upkeep,” said the assistant. “You can go on your way, I’ll let Cerise know you left.”
Thanks, Ri said.
“Do you remember your way?” they asked.
Yes, Ri said.
“Then, good luck on your journeys!”
–Thanks, Ri said awkwardly. At least – that was it, and they were able to go. They navigated the place and went out the front door, then Ri immediately set to leading everyone to the pizza parlor. Now that it was getting later, the traffic died down a little more but Ri finally realized that it was that sort of city: there were always going to be tons of people around. Ri felt that if he and Two and Red and Blue felt it was a good dinnertime, everyone else probably thought the same, too. Ri hoped that it wouldn’t make it hard for them to get seats at the restaurant they were eating at. He was excited for it as they walked down the streets; from what Ri and Two saw of it it wasn’t as romantic or quiet as the places they liked the most back home, but it still had a nice aesthetic, so it would be interesting just to go and see the place. Ri hoped the food would be good, too, and was looking forward to sharing some pizza with his mate now that Blue had mentioned it. And – if he could somehow get away with it again – he wondered if he could try some of the alcohol they offered. It had a bar, so Ri was rather interested in how they used it. It was part of why Two had suggested it, so he hoped that they could see it without being noticed.
Ri – pay attention, Two admonished. Ri’s ears went back in shame/embarrassment; he hadn’t realized he was getting distracted, and he saw that he’d nearly led his mate and friends the wrong way. He stopped for a moment and reoriented himself, and started back off the right direction. They were rather close; Ri was ready to be done with navigating and finally get to the stuff he wanted to do with Two.
… Sorry, he said ashamedly.
It’s fine, Two said, you’re lucky you have me to sense when we’re starting to go the wrong way.
Yeah, Ri said. Thanks. He knew Two wasn’t being serious – that Two wasn’t really bothered by him getting distracted. It mattered to him, though, so it meant a lot Two was being forgiving to him.
It was good we visited the lab, Two said as they made their way. Ri saw he meant to supply something to make the walk easier; Ri hoped he could be engaged without getting too distracted again, and tried to discipline himself to keep on track while talking.
“I appreciate it,” Blue said, “it meant a lot to me to be able to see it.”
“It was fun,” Red commented.
Cerise was pretty similar, Ri said, trying to participate without getting distracted again. It was harder than he wanted it to be, but he tried anyway because he wanted to talk and knew Two was supplying it to help him too – to engage him in something that was easier for him to participate in that wouldn’t bring him to get lost in his own thoughts.
He saw through us like Blue’s did, Two commented. I’m pretty sure he knows what you are.
The thought of it shook Ri; he didn’t like being identified as an XD pokemon, and he really didn’t like Cerise knowing what Cipher was. He hadn’t thought Cipher existed on his world; he realized with terror that if Cerise had correctly identified him Cipher did exist. It distracted him a little too much, he stopped in his tracks to process it.
I’m sorry, Two cried rushedly, coming up to Ri to help him. Ri felt himself starting to shake; he couldn’t really control it but Two hugged him close. It helped him feel better; it reminded him Two was with him and that Two would keep him safe. Two wouldn’t let Cipher take him again. It didn’t stop him from panicking though; he and Two had searched carefully for traces of Cipher, and felt safe presuming they didn’t exist since they hadn’t been able to find any proof they did exist. The thought of Cerise knowing about Cipher meant that they did exist, though, which Ri couldn’t handle.
We don’t know if he identified you as a Cipher pokemon or just guessed that you were abused, Two consoled. Ri felt Two’s paw on his head, petting him; he realized delayed that he was making Two be rather more intimate with him than he was comfortable.
… Two, he managed to say weakly.
Don’t worry about it, Two said, I’d rather cover you than let them see you like this.
Ri tried to swallow deep, push down his mental breakdown and master it.
I didn’t think mentioning it would trigger you, Two admitted, I’m sorry.
I –
Ri didn’t blame Two at all; he hoped Two could see that. He tried not to blame himself either; he understood that he wasn’t to blame for being forced to be this way. He did know, however, that it was his responsibility to learn to master it.
“Guys, you should at least get out of the way of traffic,” Red called. It was more to Two than to Ri; Ri didn’t really hear but he noticed Two dragging him off to a quieter alley where he could break down in relative privacy.
Let it out, Two said, sitting back against the alley wall and bringing Ri down to lie on top of him. It’s better not to bottle it up… we’ve learned that. Two pulled Ri close, hugging him near to comfort him.
Ri let it go, he cried out, letting himself experience his panic in full. There was nothing he could do about it – nothing he could do to control it. He didn’t feel safe; he didn’t feel OK. He lied on top of his mate, clutching against him against the flashbacks and the panic of being targeted by Cipher again. His body went into fight/flight mode against his better judgment knowing that he and Two hadn’t found Cipher anywhere on their world, and he shook in his mate’s clutch. He pressed himself against Two for support, retreating to his mates soft, tender care to remind him that he was safe.
Eventually – 10, 15, 20 minutes later, Ri didn’t know – he started to calm down again. As his tears dried against the fur of Two’s chest, he realized he was safe and saw reason a little more clearly. Two was right: they didn’t know for certain that Cerise knew exactly what Ri’s origins were. Cipher specifically was a far-away threat: Ri realized he had to worry much more about poachers and Rocket, if it still existed, than his old abusers. Once the shock of the matter passed, he realized that knowing if Cipher existed or not didn’t really change his and Two’s situation. This Cipher wasn’t his Cipher; Ri tried to rationalize that they wouldn’t target him since they weren’t the ones who abused him in the first place. But – lingering in the back of his mind was the simple fact that if Cerise recognized him as a Cipher pokemon… Cipher would, too, and they’d know they hadn’t captured him either. Ri shuddered in his mate’s embrace at the thought.
We decided Cipher doesn’t exist, Two reminded Ri. You know them better than anyone else; we searched for days and found nothing, even when I convinced you to let me fly you there to find their secret bases.
Ri understood; it was just one of the few fundamental ‘pillars’ which made him feel safe and comfortable on his world. As he knew he just demonstrated, he couldn’t handle any of them being challenged, and what they sensed and heard from Cerise did just that.
As it was – Ri was exhausted. He calmed down, loosened up, and lay limp and weak in Two’s arms. Two was still petting him; Ri was able to enjoy it now that he was a bit calmer again. He was discouraged, though; it had been a long time since he last experienced something like that. All from… someone recognizing him as an abused pokemon. It should’ve been a good thing, Ri should’ve appreciated Cerise understanding his past and being able to treat him respectfully because of it. But no, he panicked. It didn’t feel good, if he wanted to be able to interact with people he had to be able to react positively when people treated them well. He couldn’t even do that. It made him feel miserable; he didn’t want to be that way anymore.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, Two softly admonished. The continued pets encouraged Ri; Two was there for him still. You worked yourself out of it.
Yeah but I’m exhausted now, Ri said back. I just want to…
Ri curled up as well as he could. It interrupted Two petting his head but soon he felt Two rubbing his side instead – as close to his stomach as Two could get since Ri was curling up protecting it.
Ri sensed Two think. He didn’t really pay attention, but Two interacted with Red and Blue, then paid attention back to Ri.
Do you want to go home? Two asked.
Home… home sounded nice. Safe, comfortable, familiar, hidden away. Ri wanted to not have to deal with things anymore, he just wanted to rest. At the same time, though – he remembered they were having fun. He had been interested in the pizza place they were about to visit; he didn’t want to give up on it and ruin the fun they were having.
… Pizza, he managed to say, pitifully.
… Don’t push yourself too hard, Two suggested, sensing Ri’s state carefully. We can go home and still come back out for pizza later when you’re feeling better.
Ri considered it; he felt he had to take Two’s suggestion. He felt out of it; he needed time to recover. He mostly didn’t want to give up on their day out, but – it didn’t feel like that, if they were going to come back out again. It was an out, but it wasn’t a failure yet. He felt like he needed out.
It’s OK? Ri asked.
Of course, Two said.
“We understand,” Red said. “Anyway – if we come back later, it’ll probably be less busy.”
Hopefully so, Ri agreed. When… does it close?
Two unfortunately stopped petting him and hugging him so close to check, but at least he was able to respond.
Late, Two said. We can chill for several hours before we come back.
Good, Ri said. I want to go home.
OK, Two said.
In a flash, they were sitting in their living room against their couch. It was sudden, but it was immediately welcome. Two pulled Ri up, sat on the couch, prompted Ri to turn around, then lied down with him and hugged him close; it felt good to be home, safe, and comfortable in Two’s embrace.
Two… Ri said, realizing he was putting Two in a supporting role again.
Don’t worry about it, Two said, you’re my mate.
But –
Ri, Two warned. That was: Ri had to let it go. He accepted it; it reminded him he just had to… grow stronger.
You’re better, Two said more softly. I appreciate you caring for me.
You shouldn’t have to –
But Ri arrested himself this time. Instead:
It’s just as implicit from me, Ri said.
I know, Two said softly, squeezing him and bunting the back of his head. I remembered it was before, that was why I was willing to push through until you remembered too.
I remember now, Ri said. He took comfort in it; Two said he’d trusted that Ri cared and understood that Ri wasn’t in a ‘normal’ situation. He still thought it took too long for him to realize, but the way Two framed it was that Ri wasn’t ‘right’ enough yet to figure it out. Figuring it out helped assure Ri that he was getting better, and he was happy to have returned to the pokemon he was enough to start being fulfilling for Two again. He wanted to be that; he supposed that, as long as at other times he could manage it, it was OK to need to rely on Two sometimes, too. It comforted him; he snuggled into Two thankful for his forgiving patience and help.
I love you, Two reassured him.
I love you too, Ri said back. It was comforting; it helped Ri calm down and let go. The whole situation left him dull and lethargic; he lied with Two barely thinking and just… resting from the intense emotions he’d just felt. It had been overwhelming; Ri appreciated the time to process it. It was just how it was: either they’d have to accept there was a possibility of Cipher existing on their world or they’d have to go back to Cerise and make him tell them whether or not Cipher existed. Ri tried to apply some of Two’s reason: the likelihood was that Cerise just saw Ri’s color and the brand on his arm and concluded that he was experimented on was higher than the likelihood Cerise recognized Cipher’s specific branding. And, Ri knew he and Two weren’t the best at relating to humans; if Cerise had experience with other abused pokemon, Ri tried to convince himself Cerise would recognize similar behavior in them, too. The existence of the chance that Cerise had recognized Ri was a Cipher pokemon had alarmed him before, but now that he was settled a little more he realized it was a low chance, at least compared to the other likelihoods there were. He sighed, and tried to let it go.
Instead of worrying about it, he tried to rest and prepare himself to go out again. He sensed his mate thinking behind him; he was happy Two didn’t feel he had to pay close attention to him. Two was thinking about their day so far; Ri was happy he seemed to be happy too.
Today has been good so far, Two commented, at least… Ri knew he didn’t have to mention it.
Yeah, Ri agreed. We were having a lot of fun.
It was a little discouraging thinking about, Ri caught himself and amended himself.
I hope we’ll keep having fun.
I do too, Two said. Two seemed to appreciate the sentiment; Ri was happy he’d caught himself. It’ll be nice if the pizza place is a bit less busy.
Yeah, Ri agreed. If he and Two could manage to be a little more open because there were fewer people – Ri wouldn’t say it was good he broke down but at the very least something good could come out of it.
I’m sorry I broke down, Ri said, his mind still consumed by it even though he was trying to distract himself. Two nuzzled against him to comfort him; Ri was thankful for his amazing mate.
I know that it’s going to be like this sometimes, Two said. I know that I still have to be available to help you. I’m excited and… scared – he admitted, losing for a moment a bit of the supporting tone he’d adopted – to learn about myself and make my place, and I’m thankful you’re here to help me, but I know that you need my help sometimes, too. That’s how it is, Two said, I trust that you will learn to handle it yourself. Until then, I’m here for you. Even if you do learn, I’m here for you anyway.
Thank you, Ri said. It meant a lot to him; it helped him feel a lot better.
You… rarely clutch at me like that anyway, Two carefully teased.
Two… Ri said. He supposed it was good Two was able to tease about it – it didn’t bother his mate much, then – but it bothered him a bit.
Sorry, Two said, squeezing him a bit. It was a little too personal; that was… impressive, since Ri was so comfortable with Two.
You get cuddles whenever you want, Ri teased back, explaining why Two had bothered him.
I know, Two said, turning over and letting Ri fall on his back so he was lying on top of Ri. Ri was suddenly looking into his mate’s eyes; Two rarely did anything like this, and it left Ri smitten and flustered at the gesture. Two smiled, knowing what he was doing, and he bunted right against Ri’s muzzle as a sign of affection. All to playfully assert what Ri had suggested.
I should be careful, Two admitted, I don’t want to start anything.
Me neither, Ri agreed. I don’t think Red or Blue would appreciate it either.
Ri finally thought to pay attention to Red and Blue. From what he sensed, they’d found things to distract themselves while Ri was recuperating, but Two’d caught their attention and alarmed them and now they were watching uncomfortably.
You’re an adorable Lucario, Two teased him further, aware himself of the situation.
I’m your adorable Lucario, Ri corrected. Two seemed to appreciate it and smiled thinking about it; Ri knew he liked it, at least when they were into it – but Two backed off, resting his head under Ri’s and relaxing from his, frankly, dominant stance.
I’m yours, Two said back.
I know, Ri said comfortingly, pulling his arms from under Two to hug him.
Ri enjoyed being under Two – it was intensely intimate, feeling Two’s body on top of his. Ri supposed it was the same for Two when Ri lied on top of him, but – the other way around. Two had suggested he belonged to Ri, but – it was really the other way around. Ri belonged to Two, and in return Two handed Ri his own insecurities and all the stuff he had difficulty sharing with others. Strictly, as mates, they belonged to each other, but Ri knew and appreciated the power dynamic between them. He was happy being Two’s – especially since Two didn’t hold it over him and respected him and his autonomy. Two didn’t really want to control Ri – he wanted to empower Ri, and Ri appreciated it deeply. Ri wanted to return it – he wanted to empower Two, too. Two never really exercised or took advantage of Ri considering himself ‘belonging’ to him; Two was fulfilled simply by having a mate he could love, care for, and sometimes push around a bit.
I should’ve stayed the other way, Two admitted. Sorry.
It’s fine, I’m not complaining, Ri teased. Ri knew how it was; that was a dynamic they engaged in sometimes, but not all the time. Ri enjoyed when Two got that way – but it was nice they weren’t always like that, too. You’re adorable too, he said, getting back at his mate and making him be the one that was flustered. It is good we backed down though, he admitted; Red and Blue settled down again when Two relaxed and Ri hugged him.
Hmm – you’re the one being squashed, Two retaliated.
You don’t get to tease me like that when I’m the one on top of you and when you’re on top, Ri mock-complained.
I get to tease you no matter what~
…
It was hard for Ri to counter; Two was right.
I can tease back, at least, Ri said.
And I have to be careful, Two said, in light of how he’d tried teasing Ri before and nearly hurt him.
You are, Ri said. That’s why it’s easy for me to take.
I appreciate you being able to take the teasing, Two said, nuzzling under Ri’s muzzle and into his neck.
I appreciate you finding me cute enough to tease, Ri admitted.
It’s not my fault you’re teasable, Two said. It flustered Ri again, but in a subtle way; it didn’t really stop him from functioning like it nearly had before. There wasn’t really anything he could say about that, either.
You enable me to care and open up enough to be able to tease, Two admitted, more seriously. I seriously appreciate it.
Ri sighed; he guessed cute time was over.
I appreciate you opening up for me, Ri said back.
You’re my mate, Two said. Ri didn’t really need any explanation; he knew what it meant from Two.
You’re mine, Ri said back.
Yes, I am, Two agreed, confirming what it meant. Their mateship was a promise; it was a commitment to each other. They’d chosen each other; it was why Ri felt bad failing his mate and why he appreciated Two sticking with him and why he stuck with Two. He cared about Two; that wasn’t something he simply felt it was a choice he made. It was the same from Two back; Ri felt comfortable giving himself to Two entirely because Two promised to take care of him. Two was upholding his part of the deal; he’d been forgiving of Ri for years on his part. It was why it meant so much to Ri to enable his mate – and for Two to recognize that Ri was able to enable him again. He sighed again, enjoying the closeness his mate offered him by lying on top of him. He liked lying on Two, but who was on top didn’t really determine how they drew from each other; he felt protected and safe whether he was on top of or under or next to Two. He was happy to stay like that for a little while, drawing nearer with Two to being ‘OK.’
We needed this, Two suggested, regardless of… or not.
Ri knew what he meant; they’d pent up the affection they’d felt all day since they were in public.
Yeah, he agreed. It feels nice.
Yeah, Two agreed back, it does. It’ll be a little easier once we go out again.
Probably, Ri said. In any case, I’m feeling better.
That’s good~
Ri took the liberty to rub Two’s back; Two seemed to appreciate it, but he didn’t seem to be into the rubs as much as Ri was. Ri knew he loved bunting, though; it was intimate and affectionate for him just to put his face under Ri’s neck like he was. He seemed happy to let it be that way, for a good little while. It was nice to lie with Two for a bit, simply enjoying each other’s presence and intimacy. It was nice when it didn’t have to be because one of them was hurting.
“Are you guys – OK?” Red finally asked, breaking the silence after Ri and Two stopped being noticeably active.
Yeah, Ri said, with relative ease. I’m feeling better.
“That’s – good,” Red said awkwardly. “What’s with –”
Teasing, Two explained. Then it…
Ri saw Two was embarrassed; it was a rather rare moment.
Two needs cuddles sometimes too, Ri explained. Ri saw how it embarrassed Two, but Two didn’t really object because, in the end it was strictly true.
“It’s good to see you’re both doing better,” Blue said.
“I guess you’re wasting time so it’s a bit later when we go back,” Red guessed.
We needed the cuddles, Two said, adding context to what Ri’d said teasingly before. But yes, we want it to be later.
“You seemed to be enjoying yourselves,” Blue said.
We were~ Ri replied.
Ri had to admit; he felt a lot better. The maintenance cuddles helped, but the teasing afterward helped a lot more. It was fulfilling, doing stuff like that with Two; Ri was happy they were able to manage to spend a bit of time having open, unabashed fun like that.
“We were worried for a moment that –”
Red didn’t really need to go further; Ri and Two both got the point.
That’s why we backed down, Ri explained. We didn’t want to go too far with it.
“We appreciate it,” Blue said.
It was better anyway, Two said. It’s nice just chilling.
Yeah, Ri agreed.
Do you feel ready for pizza? Two asked. The mention brought Ri’s stomach to his mind; he’d been hungry before when they first thought of it, so he was pretty desperate for food now. And now – he felt ready to approach the world again. It was encouraging.
Yeah, he said. You?
Yeah, Two said.
We’re ready for pizza if you guys are, Ri said.
“I’m starving,” Red said.
“I was excited for it since we came back,” Blue admitted. Put that way – Ri realized he and Two had been taxing on their friends. He appreciated the bit of time he spent with Two and recognized that they both needed it, but Red and Blue suffered because of it. He didn’t regret spending the time he needed with Two, but he did regret it being difficult on their friends.
“It’s fine,” Red caught, “we knew you needed the time. It’ll be more fun now that you’re both feeling better.”
Ri glanced down at Two and caught his eyes. He saw they both appreciated it.
We appreciate it, Ri said, looking back to Red.
“Let’s go then,” Blue suggested, “I want to see whatever it was you were going to show us!”
Ri felt bad they’d made them wait, but at least everyone was still excited. He was thankful, as Two got off him, that they seemed to understand and be forgiving. It made it easier for him to look forward to it again. He got up beside his mate, and before too long, Two teleported them back to the alley they’d hidden in. It made Ri think back to the moment, but… he was at least able to reflect over it without going under again, even if it was sobering. He’d broken down in the middle of the street, and Two came and hugged him close. He hoped people didn’t see, but… there was no way people didn’t see. It sickened Ri to think about; it felt exposing both to him and his mate. He looked to Two as they got their bearings, and Two noticed the sudden shift in mood he felt.
We’ll deal with it if it ends up we have to, Two suggested. I don’t regret helping you when you needed it.
Thank you, Ri said. I hope we got away with it.
“That’s why I tried pointing it out,” Red said.
Ri looked around; it seemed like they should’ve gotten away unnoticed in the alley but Ri didn’t know. He was preoccupied, after all.
Were we noticed? Ri asked.
“Some people noticed you on the road,” Blue said, “but they only noticed me and Red when we were in the alley. I don’t think anybody saw you lying here, just us watching over you.”
Ri sighed in relief; at the very least nobody saw him collapse.
Thank you for taking care of us, Two said awkwardly.
“Of course,” Red said.
“Yeah,” Blue mirrored.
Ri saw how the ease with which Red and Blue helped Ri and Two assured Two; he remembered the awkward moment they’d had before where Blue snapped at Two. He saw it was difficult for Two to mention, but he saw Two cared, and he saw that Two recognized it was important to express. Ri noticed and appreciated Two trying. In turn, Two noticed back, and smiled a bit, apparently thankful. Ri smiled in return; it was nice to see Two be a little more sure of himself.
Once they had their bearings, they emerged back out into the street. It was strange, Ri knew, for them to appear suddenly, but he hoped it was better than teleporting straight into a crowd of people. He sighed, sensing the public once again, preparing himself to engage in it again after his breakdown. It was weird, but he was thankful he managed to pull himself back together again. He didn’t quite remember where the pizza place was, so he looked it up again and led Two, Red, and Blue the final couple blocks. They kept quiet this time, in anticipation of a good meal. The crowd around them hadn’t really diminished, however, so Ri wondered if they would really get to have some quiet and privacy in the pizzeria or not. When they finally arrived, they paused in front of the place to take it in. They had been anticipating it for hours; it was a little nerve-racking to finally see it. Ri hoped it was good, because he and Two had chosen it given Blue’s suggestion, and he wanted a pay-off after breaking down and managing to pull himself together. It looked clean and modern, and it used simple shapes for its pizza-themed logo. Ri and Two usually liked more traditional-styled places, so Ri hoped that visiting this new place would give Blue a bit more context what human restaurants could be like. And – still – he was happy to feel interested in the bar he expected to find inside. He figured he and Two could approach it once they’d all eaten. He sensed people inside, but while it wasn’t as empty as they hoped, it wasn’t nearly as full as they worried it was going to be, either. Ri supposed it was the best they could expect from a city.
It seems like we should be OK, he commented.
Yeah, Two agreed, it isn’t too busy.
Red and Blue didn’t mention it, but Ri sensed: they thought it ended up being good they waited, too. Ri appreciated they didn’t say anything, though. He sighed in an attempt to shake off the awkward feeling, and led his mate and friends in.
The place was lively; Ri realized as he witnessed it that it was comforting and meant the place was well-liked. He came straight into a little waiting area with seats lining the walls – and remembered the last time he and Two ended up waiting for a table – but he hoped that they wouldn’t have to wait this time. The hostess stood right there and noticed them immediately as they collected in front of her.
“All – pokemon?” she asked, awkwardly.
… Yeah, Ri said.
“4?”
Yeah, Ri said more easily.
“Our menus are digital –”
We can handle it, Ri said. For once he didn’t feel insulted by it; he understood it was unlikely for a pokemon to be able to handle digital menus and stuff like that. Ri had his phone, though, and he held it up to show they were able to read the menus or whatever else the store expected them to be able to do.
“Alright, follow me,” said the host, turning and getting them placemats and bundles of silverware. Ri followed behind her leading the others on, and she luckily brought them to a booth where they could have some privacy. Ri easily sat on the inside, and Two sat beside him. Protected – Ri was most comfortable this way, at least in public. As they all sat down – Ri noticed Blue decided to sit across from him – the hostess placed their mats and bundles in front of them. He noticed the paper flyer with a QR code printed on it pretty quickly, but the hostess pointed it out to them anyway, letting them know they could scan it and see the menu. Telling them a waiter would appear for them soon, she left them to figure it out themselves. It was rather novel, Ri felt, as he scanned the code with his phone and it took him to the restaurant’s website, but it was a little inconvenient since they had to pass around the one phone. It was alright, though, Ri placed it on the table between him and Two so they could look at it together. It had all sorts of specialty pizzas of different styles – which Ri was sure Blue would be happy about – but it had build-your-own pizzas and calzones and other ‘standard’ things too, along with a list of chef’s special entrees which, unfortunately, generally weren’t pokemon-friendly. Pizza was perfectly agreeable for pokemon to eat, though, so it was mostly what Ri and Two looked at. They scanned through the specialty pizzas, and came across all sorts of inventions from Doduo-parm to pinap pizza to pizza with fries on it. Some of it interested them, but a lot of it had meats that, even if they could understand that the pokemon they came from somehow weren’t as aware as they were, they still couldn’t stomach if it was too clear that they were eating another pokemon. They tended to keep to the vegetarian options, but at least with human menus that seemed to imply that they should be ‘healthy,’ which none of them specifically cared for. They just wanted good, well-made, tasty pizza so they ended up with plain pizza topped with a topping or two they both liked, and they handed their phone off to Red and Blue so they could look at it while they considered what they wanted to drink.
“There’s a lot on this menu,” Blue commented, “They don’t serve just pizza.”
That’s part of why we chose it, Ri explained. It’s a proper restaurant.
“I didn’t expect to be sitting down here either,” Blue admitted. He paused from looking at the menu to look up and around the place. Ri looked around too, realizing he hadn’t bothered to yet. It was rather well lit but it wasn’t harsh, and the tables were all dark marble with dark red fake-leather seats. It wasn’t like real leather but the booths Ri and Two were sitting in were plush enough to be comfortable. The decoration was clean and modern, dark but with accents to keep it from being gloomy. Ri appreciated it; it was refreshing without being too bright. The defining feature was the use of contrast which made the place feel modern, that and the tendency to use sharp, defined edges and curves instead of the frills and gradients the more ‘refined’ places liked to use. Ri saw the bar on the other side of the restaurant, taking up half the width of the room making it a little tight for people to walk by on the other side. A few people were seated at it but Ri guessed it wasn’t a hugely popular place to drink. It made him wonder if it would make it easier or harder for him to get away with trying a cocktail or two. The place seemed set up, though, with gadgets and tools which Ri was sure made the job of making drinks a lot easier.
“It’s a nice looking place,” Red said. “It’s not like your usual choices.”
No it’s not, Two said, we wanted to try something different.
“It’s refreshing,” Red admitted.
It… kind of is, Ri agreed.
“I noticed the bar,” Red pressed. Ri glanced at him embarrassed; he knew it was obvious but it was still embarrassing to be so easily read by Red. “Just don’t press them too hard to let you try something.”
We won’t, Ri assured him.
We’ll only take a look later, Two added on, we want to eat first.
“Sounds good,” Blue said. Ri noticed him pay attention back to the menu, and he glanced at his mate, finding comfort in Two’s relatively relaxed state.
I’m excited to eat too, Two said, It was a good idea to come here.
… It was your suggestion, and Blue was the one who wanted pizza in the first place, Ri called out.
… It was still a good idea, Two said, slightly embarrassed.
“As long as the food is good,” Red said.
It reviewed well, Two defended.
“It had better, seeing how expensive this stuff is.”
It was barely something Ri and Two thought about; Ri glanced at Two again realizing that, soon, they might have to start being much more careful. Ri didn’t want to have to worry about having the funds to support himself and Two, but it didn’t seem like a problem yet so he was happy to let it go and enjoy celebrating. It felt like they needed it; he didn’t want to ruin it this time.
“Weren’t you thinking about what you wanted to drink?” Blue reminded them. “I think I sense them coming already.”
Blue’s warning alarmed Ri; he realized he wasn’t ready yet and started to panic. It didn’t feel great, but he realized that it didn’t really mean anything, he could just choose whatever. He tried to remember the drinks they had available and decided to try an iced berry-flavored tea.
Sounds good, Two said. I was just going to get some water, but I might steal some of your tea~
I – Ri was flustered; he didn’t mind but he didn’t really have anything to get back at Two with. He didn’t really want water.
Just a bit to try it, Two assured him.
Of course it’s OK, Ri said. Two smiled; it was nice for Ri to see. It was just as the waiter was coming to them, though, so his presence shocked them out of the moment, making them jump as he announced himself. He was polite about it at least, but it was still awkward for Ri and Two to be caught in the moment. Ri sighed to settle himself down, then ordered for himself and Two while Red and Blue finished looking over the menu. In a moment the interaction was over, and Ri and Two relaxed again, realizing and remembering that they weren’t as private as they thought, hidden away a bit in a booth.
“… You guys are still trying to figure it out,” Red commented.
… Yeah, Ri admitted.
“That wasn’t super awkward,” Blue offered. It didn’t feel that way, Ri thought, it still felt too open and vulnerable.
It felt that way, Two said, reflecting what Ri was thinking.
“I understand,” Red said, “but you need to figure it out too.”
We know, Two said, with a bit of an edge in his voice. It’s – harder than you think, Two said, softening up again and revealing the awkwardness he felt.
“We’ve seen,” Blue pointed out, “we know it’s hard for you.”
We’ll figure it out sometime, Ri said, hoping the topic would pass. Just not… now.
We have other things we need to figure out first, Two asserted.
“And you aren’t here to try and face that stuff,” Blue drew out.
We’re here to try to… celebrate, Ri confirmed.
“… With some limited success,” Red said. Ri knew – they had ups and downs like always – but he tried to hold on to the fact that he and Two were withstanding it more strongly than they had before, and he tried to understand that Red wasn’t trying to be accusatory about it.
We have a lot to learn, Two said.
“You need to grow…” Red asserted. He got lost in thought; it was kind of sudden and confusing for Ri. He supposed a lot of things were on Red’s mind, too; he remembered how the gym battle was and Red’s insistence for getting the bandanna he was wearing. He wondered if their own attempt to self-reflect and improve themselves was rubbing off on Red. He tried to let it go; unlike with Two he recognized that he needed to stay paws-off with Red unless Red actively involved him and Two in his inner world. They had to let him deal with it himself – at least until he was willing to expose it to them. And – Blue ended up lost in thought too. Ri glanced at his mate; he appreciated the topic moving on but he almost would’ve preferred it to the awkward silence.
I guess we can let them think, Two suggested, they’ve given us more than enough space to think ourselves.
Yeah, Ri agreed. At least… we’re with it now, he commented.
It means a lot, Two agreed.
It does.
Ri was out again; it was a little scary after nearly breaking down before, but he recognized he was relatively comfortable and he knew he was safe with Two. It was just weird, being OK again after being so close to a breakdown barely hours before. He looked to his mate in poor spirits; he knew he was a fragile Lucario, and he knew it took a lot of work for Two to stop him from breaking apart. Two said over and over again it didn’t bother him but it was still Ri’s responsibility to grow stronger. Uncomfortably, an analogy of tempering steel came to Ri’s mind – he hoped that it wouldn’t be hard like that for him and Two – but he did feel willing to brave it, as long as Two was there with him. He couldn’t imagine Two abandoning him, so he felt oddly comfortable knowing what it was they were getting themselves into. He felt they were going to have to start testing waters – even going out like this was testing how they could manage to interact out in public – but he knew they would have to start getting braver with it and more nuanced. He didn’t really want to think about it now; he just wanted to enjoy being comfortable where they were in the moment.
You’re also getting lost in thought, Two teased.
I – Ri said, flustered out of what he was thinking. He immediately lost it; he regretted it somewhat but at the same time he knew he’d been thinking he wanted to be in the moment, too. Two’d teased him and made him lose it, but he’d brought him back to the moment, too.
It’s fine, Two said, we’ll approach it when we’re ready.
With that Ri remembered what he was thinking.
… Yeah, he agreed. I want to have fun now.
Two nodded slightly – warier, after the waiter surprised them. I do too, he said.
Ri sighed; it was nice to be grounded with Two. He looked around again, and remembered that the place around them was nice; he liked being there with Two and getting to share it with him. It was something he cared about, and it was something he could share with Two in public, as long as they didn’t get too intimate about it. He appreciated being able to share it with his mate.
It's nice, Two agreed, I do… prefer the places we like.
More romantic? Ri teased. It flustered Two a bit but Two managed to hide it… it reminded Ri that they could go too far. He wished that that weren’t the boundary, but he understood too that until they figured it out, it was more comfortable for Two to just… not get anywhere near it. Otherwise – he only felt comfortable teasing Two that way because he agreed.
I like them too, Ri consoled.
I – think they’re coming with our drinks, Two said.
Indeed, Ri sensed their waiter this time. He came with a tray of drinks and a tray of salads. Ri hadn’t expected them, but he appreciated the starter of healthy stuff to offset the pizza they were about to eat. It helped make the place seem high-class, and it helped validate the cost of the food they were eating. Ri and Two had ordered enough to have a full meal, but Ri supposed they could bring some of it home and have a snack the next day, too.
“I didn’t expect this,” Blue said, as the waiter bid them well and left them alone.
We didn’t either, Ri admitted, looking down at the salad in front of him. He shrugged and started eating at it. It was crisp and crunchy, and it had a tangy vinaigrette that was sweet enough that it didn’t overpower the delicate flavor of some of the veggies in the salad. It was good, but Ri didn’t finish it anticipating the pizza he had wanted in the first place. He liked eating, but if he wasn’t careful he could eat too much fairly easily. He wondered why the restaurants they visited didn’t have pokemon-sized portions sometimes, but he supposed it was too hard to standardize portions for all the different pokemon out there. He imagined, humorously, the cooks in the kitchen struggling to cook up a Tyranitar-sized portion of food alongside all the normal human-sized portions they had to make.
He tried his tea too, and offered it to Two to take a sip. Like the salad it was delicately balanced. The tea flavors weren’t overpowered by the berry flavors, and the berry was sweet enough to round off the tendency of the tea to be bitter. It was good, Ri thought; he was happy so far he and Two found the place. He sensed Two was vaguely smug about it, but he supposed he could let his mate have some harmless fun with it. He thought it was cute, anyway. In any case, he knew Two was just happy and thankful that the place he’d suggested was turning out well. With everything they tried so far – Ri looked forward to the pizza even more.
It came a little while later. Ri set aside his salad bowl anticipating it, and let the others know their waiter was coming. He set it down – two large pies next to each other, one for Ri and Two and one that Red and Blue had agreed on.
“Will you let us try some of yours?” Blue asked.
… I guess, Ri said, deciding with Two’s input that he and Two couldn’t be too stingy since they had more than enough for themselves.
“You can have some of ours if you want,” Red said. He sounded out of it – Ri caught on to it easily but he let it go despite wondering what was on Red’s mind. He was rather tempted to look, but he tried his best to ignore Red, and took a slice of pizza for himself. It had sweet pepper and papap on it; he looked forward to the light crisp of the veggies but he wasn’t so excited about it after the salad he’d just eaten. He waited for Two, though, and they tried it together, and found themselves delighted by its flavor. It hit a careful mark between the greasy, ‘trashy’ pizza which they guiltily enjoyed and the refined, ‘tasteful,’ restrained pizzas which felt too ‘proper.’ This pizza was clean, but it didn’t ‘pretend’ with herbs and it didn’t hold back on the sauce and grease too much. It was, certifiably, good pizza. Ri and Two quickly downed their first slices, and found Blue enjoying his pizza, too. Ri was happy they were all enjoying it – but he noticed that Red hadn’t touched his, yet. By now it was clear that Red was bothered, but Ri still wasn’t sure whether he and Two should bring it up yet. He glanced at his mate and Two like usual caught it.
We should probably ask at this point, Two offered. He’s shown clearly enough that he’s out of it.
OK, Ri agreed. I just hope it goes well.
I do too, Two wished. Ri sighed, and pressed himself to bring it up.
–Red, he poked unsurely. Red looked at him – first with a burst of frustration, but Ri was relieved to see him soften up and realize they were just offering to help – showing they cared.
“… Can I talk with you guys?” Red finally asked. It was rather sudden and out of character for Red, but Ri supposed it was understandable. He sounded unsure; Ri knew it was awkward going out of character even with close friends.
Sure, he said. He felt a pang of guilt – like he and Two did something wrong – but he tried to dispel it, understanding that they didn’t necessarily do anything themselves to make Red this way. The possibility remained, though, so Ri just waited anxiously while Red collected his thoughts.
“You guys think of me as a Zoroark, right?” he asked.
Yeah, Ri said, easily.
Yes, Two said.
“Am I really a Zoroark?” Red asked. Ri glanced at Two; he didn’t totally know where this was coming from.
Genetically… yes, Two said. How you identify… is up to you, I suppose.
Ri watched Red sigh.
“I don’t know,” Red said. “I thought I had it all figured out, but going out on this Challenge is making me wonder again.”
So, finally, Red let it out. Ri saw how it was a bit of a relief for the Zoroark, but at the same time, it was an open can of worms he couldn’t close again, and they were about to have this discussion. Red sighed, and decided to continue on. He tugged gently at his bandanna and shifted in his seat. At the very least, Ri was happy it wasn’t something he or Two did, at least not recently. He wasn’t happy Red was still struggling, however.
“I thought Red the Zoroark wasn’t as driven as Red the human,” Red started. “I thought I was happy chilling with you guys, playing games, and listening to music. I thought I didn’t have the drive I did from before I changed.
“This Challenge, though, I’m more excited for it than I thought I’d ever be. I feel… alive, and I feel that it hasn’t been that way for a while.”
Roundabout, Ri realized this was, indirectly, about him and Two. Even if Red didn’t directly blame them for keeping him from doing this stuff, it felt obvious to Ri that they had. It made him feel guilty, but he waited for Red to finish what he had to say.
“My power as a pokemon, I want to test it against Kanto. I want to show my own worth as a pokemon now that I understand what it’s like being a pokemon. I don’t want to have just…” This was difficult for Red to admit, Ri sensed, “ridden on the backs of my old friends.”
Red suddenly realized and it threw his train of thought off-course.
“My friends,” he repeated, “I haven’t even seen them in years.”
He got lost in thought; Ri didn’t worry this time about paying attention to how he was thinking over his friendship with the pokemon he’d left behind at Oak’s lab.
“It’s so awkward,” he continued, “thinking back on how I was their friend as a human. Maybe it’s better if I just let it go,” he wondered out loud. “… You guys are my friends, now.”
Ri wasn’t sure about what he was hearing. He glanced at Two, self-checking to make sure he wasn’t out of line. It seemed to bother Two too, so he felt he wasn’t wrong to wonder about it.
Is that… right? Ri asked.
“I don’t know,” Red dismissed sharply. It cut at Ri – Ri retreated to Two, but he guessed he should’ve expected for Red to be tender about that.
“I’m sorry,” Red said as he realized how cold he’d been. “I mean… I don’t know,” he repeated, but much more softly. “I don’t know if I relate to them like I did before.”
You had wanted to relate to them like a pokemon, Two reminded him. It was part of why you wanted to make the transformation permanent in the first place.
“I remember,” Red said, “but if I really meant that, would I not have stayed with them?”
You did, Ri said. Until you couldn’t deal with Oak anymore.
“Right,” Red remembered. “I didn’t go back because…”
In realtime, Ri watched Red realize what he was saying and how it was affecting Ri and Two.
“Guys… I don’t regret staying with you. Not especially now, when you’ve become able to follow me around Kanto like this. I –” Red paused, realizing that he wasn’t normally so open like this, but after hanging on it for a little while, Ri saw he decided to push through it. “I understand that you guys trust me, and I always appreciated and valued it. I’m here for you, I – don’t think you’d be able to get by without me.”
Ri wasn’t sure what to think about Red said. He was thankful Red recognized and understood the value they placed in him, but he wasn’t sure about what Red was saying about their reliance on him, especially with how Red was just talking about how he’d practically abandoned his old friends. Along with how it felt to Ri like they’d held back Red for years given how happy he was now to finally be freed from it a little… Ri felt he and Two were directly responsible for the confusion Red was feeling.
Ri, Two said, I don’t think we can entirely blame ourselves. At the very least, if Red sees things that way or not, he doesn’t seem to blame us for it.
It was still wrong, Ri said forthrightly.
… I understand, Two said. It was something Two just had to let go of; Two understood how Ri worked. I do agree that… we could’ve been more careful with him.
Ri nodded.
“… What are you guys thinking?” Red challenged. Ri felt unsure, but he guessed he had to admit it.
I feel like we’re responsible for you having this hard time, Ri admitted reticently. He saw as Red considered it; he hadn’t expected Red to think about it so openly.
“Maybe,” Red said, “but I don’t really blame you for it,” he continued plainly. “Please trust that if I really wanted, I could’ve left and gone on my own before you became as attached to me as you are. I… wanted to be here, with you,” he admitted awkwardly.
The admission meant a lot to Ri; it was forgiving and it was reassuring. Red was their friend; that was the clearest, heaviest confirmation of it they’d heard in a long time.
“I know I’m not usually clear about it,” Red admitted, “but I’m pretty sure you guys understand why.”
We always understood, Two said.
We always appreciated it and thought it helped, Ri continued.
“I didn’t know you appreciated it so much,” Red said, sounding surprised. It surprised Ri a bit, too; he thought they’d been clear about it but he guessed it was nothing like this truly open moment they were sharing. Ri glanced at Two; with an admission like that he felt it was right to assure Red of how they felt too, even if it was just a friendship and if it wasn’t… usually how they dealt with Red. Two nodded at him, giving him clearance; part of it was feeling like he was mirroring how he dealt with Two, but if Two agreed then it seemed alright.
We’re your friends too, Ri said. We’re happy that we’re in a place where you’re able to do stuff like this again, and… when it isn’t miserable, it’s been a lot of fun to follow you.
Red nodded, understanding. “I appreciate it,” he said. Ri nodded back; that seemed to close the matter, but Red wasn’t done yet. He kept thinking, and brought up an old topic.
“… I still can’t reconcile who Red the Zoroark and Red the human are.”
Ri and Two weren’t really sure what to say at this point; they just waited for Red to put his thoughts together and continue.
“I thought I was happy being naked, but here I am trying to wear clothes again,” Red started. “I thought I wasn’t an explorer anymore, but I want to go and see things. I thought that after so many years I’d understand who I am but I don’t know anymore again. I want to be the best pokemon, like I wanted to be the best pokemon trainer. I thought that all died with Red the human, but here it is again.”
Ri wasn’t sure how to take it; it seemed clear to him that Red was confounding him and Two holding him back with his own identity. It was pretty clear to Ri: Red had, until now, made his identity “I’m here for Ri and Two.” Even if that still existed, Red the “I’m my own person” was returning, too. It was a good thing, but Ri wished it weren’t hard on Red.
This is partly on us, Ri said. We kept you from that for years.
“… Perhaps,” Red said, “But I’d forgotten it on my own terms. Please, trust me that this is new, not just… repressed like you seem to think.”
… OK, Ri said, backing off. With Red being forceful like that… he felt he had to let it go and trust like Red was asking.
“I like being a Zoroark,” Red asserted, “but even now I don’t know what that means. I’m comfortable in my body, but I don’t know who a Zoroark is.”
Ri wasn’t sure how to help; it was the same sort of thing Two was going through. He glanced at his mate, knowing that there wasn’t really anything either of them could do to help since they didn’t know for themselves.
“… Can I?” Blue interjected.
“… Sure?” Red supposed.
“Can’t you just be… Red?” Blue suggested. “Does it really matter if you’re Red the Zoroark or Red the human?”
Ri noticed Red glance at himself and Two. Blue’s words hit Two pretty rough; everything Two was trying to do was figure out what a Mewtwo was. And with Ri’s past as a Shadow Lucario, it was clear what they thought.
“I’m Red the Zoroark,” Red said. “That’s part of my identity. I used to be Red the human… I’m not that anymore. I can say that for sure. I guess I just thought Red the Zoroark was someone he wasn’t… and I’m learning now that he’s more like my old self than I thought.”
Ri looked at Blue awkwardly, unable to communicate what he was feeling. He hoped Blue understood; he felt bad but at the same time, he understood how his suggestion fell kind of flat.
He – meant… Two started awkwardly, understanding the hypocrisy of pointing it out when he was in his own situation, Does it really matter whether you’re more like a ‘Zoroark’ or more like a ‘human’ if you’re still ‘Red?’
Ri watched as Red considered it; it was apparently a little harder for him to get his head around.
“I suppose not,” Red said, “but I think you can understand the situation,” he softly accused.
I do, Two said, easily backing off. Ri tried to make sure he was OK; he was happy Two seemed to understand that Red wasn’t being critical of him as much as the idea Two had suggested which was obvious wasn’t his but Blue’s.
“How do you deal with it?” Red asked.
I…
Two glanced at Ri this time; Ri saw how personal this felt to Two to admit. He didn’t seem happy about it, but Ri tried to let him know silently that it was OK, at least on his part, whether he shared or not.
I haven’t figured it out yet, Two admitted. I just want to be a good mate to Ri, and I want to be able to have fun with him.
“It hurts though, right?” Red pushed. Again, Two glanced at Ri sadly. Again, Ri let him know it was OK. This bothered Two a little more, though, Ri saw.
It does, Two admitted. Don’t… he faltered, seeing that maybe it was a bad idea to say, but Red picked up on it anyway.
“Don’t –”
Don’t liken our situations too much, Two asserted. I understand how you feel, but I have nothing to tell me what I should be. I should be a heartless weapon, if I go by what I was created to be, Two said, starting to get a bit bitter, but I know I can’t let that define me.
“… Sure,” Red said. It wasn’t the warmest concession, but Ri was happy and thankful Red didn’t press. “You’re right… but I’ve never met too many Zoroark to know if I’m like them or not.”
Guys – Blue interjected suddenly. It alarmed Ri, but he realized that the waiter was coming up to them. He froze up instantly, realizing they were still in a public place. He went over the conversation in his mind – he realized as the waiter came up to them that Red was speaking in Zoroark and he knew that Blue preferred speaking in Lucario when he didn’t have to communicate to humans so their conversation was private enough. The waiter left without saying a word; Ri guessed, as he tried to calm down by breathing in and out a few times that something they all did made it clear he wasn’t wanted at the moment.
“… I guess I shouldn’t be talking about this here,” Red admitted. “Just… I’m happy to be a pokemon,” he continued, “and I’m thankful you guys have accepted me and been my friend and helped me through it. I guess maybe I should just let it go, like Blue said I don’t really have to worry about it too much, and like you said you have it worse. I’m happy,” Red assured them, “it’s just… confusing.” He shut up after that; Ri wasn’t really happy with how it ended, but he supposed it ended mostly because Red realized they were in a space that made Ri and Two uncomfortable to talk about it more so than anything Ri or Two had done. It lingered in his mind, however; he felt he couldn’t let it go just yet. It bothered him Red was still confused.
Would you – want to try living with some Zoroark for a little while? He suggested. If you knew what they were like it might help you understand who you are a little better.
“Maybe,” Red said, holding back. “I wouldn’t want to leave you guys behind to do it.”
We would be willing to go with you, Two said, if the Zoroark don’t mind.
“We’d have to find them,” Red said.
That’s not a problem for me, Ri asserted. Zoroarks’ Illusion powers didn’t really trick him; he was able to see through them and his senses showed him a Zoroark’s true form whether they were using Illusion or not.
They might not like you if you can see through them like that, Two pointed out.
I’m not a threat, Ri said, ears going back thinking about it.
They’re the ones we have to convince, Two gently pushed back.
I know, Ri agreed. I’m just…
You’re my sweet fluffball~ Two comforted him. Two smiled at him awkwardly and covertly; it helped Ri feel a bit better. But you’re a powerful fluffball, Two reminded him.
Yeah, Ri agreed. That felt like about it, at least for the moment. He looked at the pizza pies in front of him; they’d totally forgotten about it. He’d forgotten about his tea, too; he hoped it didn’t get too diluted while they were all talking. He took a sip and was happy for it to still taste great, and he took another slice. It was rather lukewarm by now, but it still tasted good, and he was happy to enjoy it. The discussion with Red was sobering – it showed Ri that Red had problems too – but at least Red seemed largely happy. Two had a harder time – he had to find sideways ways of being happy – but at least, for the moment, they were able to have fun together. Red finally tried his pizza – commented it was good – and it seemed… over, at least for the moment. It dulled the mood – they didn’t speak much for a little while after – but at least they weren’t worked up or depressed or anything, just… aware that they were all kind of messed up pokemon.
It left Ri to think over what Red had talked about: Red had laid down some pretty heavy things that usually stayed implied between them. Red was their friend, they were his; he’d always trusted that but it was obvious and explicit now. Red recognized that they’d kept him from this stuff he was rediscovering but he didn’t really blame them for it and it all confused him anyway. He seemed reticent about visiting fellow Zoroark but whether it was because he was actually nervous about it or because he wanted to cut the conversation short, Ri wasn’t totally sure. He likened his situation to Two’s, but he’d backed off when two pushed back. He was happy as a Zoroark but he still felt the dissonance of transforming from being human. Ri just supposed that Red thought he’d figured it out while Ri and Two were holding him back and he was rediscovering himself now that they were enabling him to. Ri hoped Red would be able to figure it out.
It was a lot for Ri to take in; he was happy to have a bit of quiet time to work through it all, nibbling at his pizza and sipping at his tea. He remembered as he finished his slice that they were in a public place, but he supposed that if they weren’t doing anything there was nothing they could be doing that they shouldn’t be.
He thought back to the waiter they’d scared away; he felt nearly bad for it, now that none of them were doing anything compromising and just trying to enjoy their food. At the same time – he wished the staff would just leave them alone. They wanted to enjoy their food; they didn’t need anybody checking in on them, and if they wanted, they could call for help themselves. He understood other people felt cared for when the waiters did that, though, so it was just a matter of perspective that unfortunately left him and Two frustrated.
Ri sensed his mate as they finished their meal; Two was doing pretty OK. He saw how Red likening his identity crisis to Two’s bothered Two a bit, and he totally understood why. It simply brought it all up in Two’s mind again – the lost feeling he could sometimes be overwhelmed by if he thought about it too hard, along with the pain he felt since he didn’t feel like he had a place. Ri saw he was pulling through it, though. He knew Two was starting to put things together; Two was starting to build a conscious image of himself that he could rely on. It was vague and empty at the moment, but Ri was happy there were a couple things he could like and trust. Aside from all the things his creators tried to make him to be, there were things about himself that he liked. Ri felt he just needed to identify more of them, but he understood it was easier said than done, at least for a Mewtwo who felt everything was nebulous and confusing. Two wasn’t always the greatest at navigating that stuff; Ri felt bad it was most of what he had to work through to forge his identity. At least, he wanted to be there to help him through it. Ri sighed; he knew growing was painful, but he didn’t know if he was prepared for it. He didn’t know if he and Two would ever be prepared for it.
He sighed again though, and tried to let it go. He was with his mate, they were having a good time.
I’m distracting you, Two pointed out, looking to him. He sounded a bit disappointed in himself, but Ri was thankful he didn’t let it get to him too much. Ri thought to actually look at his mate for once; Two’s purple eyes looked through him – understood him to his core – but he always felt safe in them. He could hold eye contact with his mate. The fur on Two’s face softened his complexion, but he was visibly on edge, bothered by his own feelings. His awkward ear stalks bent back rather menacingly, but Ri didn’t really notice them; they didn’t register to him anymore when judging his mate’s expression, while he knew his ears easily emoted for him along with his tail.
Please don’t regret it, Ri pleaded, mindful of his ears drooping in his own discouragement.
Two softened up; his face, his eyes, his demeanor changed as he smiled at Ri. That smile was special, Ri knew; he was the only one who could draw it from Two. It left again, though. Ri recognized they were still in public; Two was still mindful of it. At the very least – Ri knew Two wasn’t letting anything get to him this time.
I won’t, Two said, but I’m happy I noticed.
Fair, Ri offered.
Your ears, Two said, you know they always betray what you’re feeling, Two pointed out, a touch playfully in reference to what was on Ri’s mind.
… Yeah, Ri said, embarrassed.
And your adorable tail, Two said, you can’t control it like I can mine. He flicked his tail to demonstrate, showing how he had higher-order control over what his tail did.
I know, Ri said. He was starting to get flustered; he was happy Two backed off.
You’re a dog, Two drew out, but you don’t really act like one.
The topic change was weird – it went quickly from teasing about Ri being cute to an intellectual discussion of how he acted. It took Ri off-guard a bit, but he didn’t really mind; it was better than Two teasing at him, at least when they were out in public like this.
“You don’t really act like a cat either,” Blue interjected.
I –
It was Two’s turn to get flustered. Ri noticed how it nearly turned to anger that Blue had made him feel that way in the context of being in public, but Two caught himself and tried to forgive Blue; Ri knew he cared. He paused to process it, though, which alarmed Red, too, making this suddenly a table-wide discussion.
“Pokemon aren’t animals,” Red started, “I know more than the rest of you we’re more like people. We don’t do a lot of things the same way they do but we feel a lot of things the same way too.”
“I never got why humans feel like they need to wear clothes everywhere,” Blue asked. Ri saw it hit a slight nerve on Red this time, but he seemed to deal with it well, too.
“They like to keep warm,” Red said. “Skin doesn’t do that like fur. They like the feeling, too, and they’re – shy about being naked.”
“I don’t get why,” Blue pressed.
“I don’t know, they just are.”
“Don’t you remember from when you were –"
“Blue – right now isn’t the best time to ask about this,” Red asserted, worked up. He immediately glanced at Ri and Two guiltily, realizing the was bringing attention to them.
“I’m – sorry,” Blue said, awkwardly.
“It’s… fine,” Red got out with difficulty, repressing the discomfort he still felt. Ri was thankful he was at least able to be calm about it, though, and that they seemed to manage not to catch too much attention as he sensed around the place.
“Couldn’t – you sense that was a little too much to ask?” Red wondered out loud, with an edge in his voice that betrayed how he expected Blue to know better.
“–No,” Blue said, confused. Red glanced at Ri and looked away; it wasn’t really supposed to communicate anything Ri knew but it betrayed Red wondering how it seemed to him Ri would know to avoid it.
We know as much from experience as we do from what we sense, Ri defended.
“I guess I forgot how it was before you guys learned,” Red admitted. “It would’ve been fine some other time,” he reasoned, “it just wasn’t the right time after… before.”
“I – could’ve considered,” Blue offered. “I’m aware I can ask too much sometimes,” he added on awkwardly.
Ri saw more to it, though; remnants of Red being human. They were in a public place; even if the people around them couldn’t understand what Blue was saying, Ri could see it was making Red a touch uncomfortable. There wasn’t much they could do about it, Ri thought, except help Red push through it if he ended up willing. The time didn’t seem right at the moment so he let it go. Mostly, it was just about Red being sensitive about being a human at all at the moment, and he understood too that after the discussion they’d just had and left behind, it was probably best not to bring it up again.
“It’s fine,” Red said. “Maybe later we can talk more.”
“OK,” Blue said.
“But guys – sorry,” Red said.
It’s fine, Ri said.
You weren’t particularly noticed, Two continued.
“That’s good,” Red said.
The silence after was a touch awkward, but it lead them all to look at the table in between them and realize they hadn’t touched anything in a short while.
Are we finished? Two asked.
I guess, Ri easily said. He felt full – he was happy for the salad before, especially now that he saw another meal for each of them lying in front of them.
“Yeah,” Blue said. “The salad filled me up more than I thought.”
It does that, Ri said.
“It’d be nice to go home,” Red considered hopefully. It seemed out of character for him, but Ri supposed he could forgive him that one. It felt like a good idea to him, too, so he wasn’t about to complain. They had to pay, though, and get all the food they didn’t eat home. After a bit of awkward deliberating, Red took it upon himself to flag down the waiter and ask, and the waiter approached carefully, letting them know that they had properly scared them. Ri vaguely felt bad, but at the same time he wished he hadn’t interrupted them while they were in the middle of a discussion. As the waiter came back with bags and a tablet for them to pay at, Ri and Two deliberated shortly about how they should deal with the incident. They decided not to mention it, but as Two put all the pizza away Ri dealt with the payment and left a rather substantial tip for good food and as an apology. He hoped it would come across, but he was happy they were able to let it go and leave once they were done, deciding it was best just to go home after messing that up and having some difficult discussions, though in the back of their minds they vaguely wanted to see the bar still. They awkwardly left together – Two carrying the boxes of pizza – and once they were out of sight, they jumped into another nearby alley and Two teleported them home. It was nice to be home – to have the familiar greys, purples, and oranges around them again – but they weren’t quite ready to rest. Two put away the pizza first, and came back out and sat down so Ri could sit down into him. He happily rested himself against his mate – upright so they were primed for conversation or whatever else it was they would end up wanting to do – happy to be officially home from their trip out. It was nice to come home happy and stable after having to come home earlier for self-maintenance; it made Ri feel like they’d done relatively well to keep themselves together, now that he was able to sit with his mate, be rather relaxed and able to reflect on their trip relatively positively. He knew there had been some bumps, but… he and Two had expected it, and they both were happy to be in one piece on the other side. It was encouraging; it helped Ri and Two both feel good. They ended up nuzzling and cuddling; it was nice to be able to express their affection for each other openly, at least as far as they were able to go without making Red and Blue uncomfortable. They settled down at one point, though, and sat in thought, or at least quiet as they rested and waited for a conversation to start.
“Blue,” Red started, “humans think their bits are too private to share so openly with others.”
“Are you –”
“It’s fine,” Red asserted sternly. It almost didn’t sound fine that way, but Ri understood. Red could find it annoying to be questioned when he wanted someone to just accept something by context. Red continued, however, showing it really was fine. “They think of being naked as sexual.”
“But we don’t think anything of it,” Blue countered. “Your bits are out, what does it matter?”
“It turns the humans on,” Red explained. “They find each other attractive anytime.”
“But it’s not like that for us,” Blue wondered out loud. Red shrugged; clearly part of him still didn’t want to think about it too hard.
“I had to get used to it,” Red said. “Being naked doesn’t feel weird anymore but it did when I first became a Zoroark.”
“Why’s it like that?” Blue asked. Nobody could really answer for him. It was biology… biology was one of the few things Two tried to avoid. All he or Ri knew was that they were always naked – and only sometimes it meant anything of consequence to them, and those times were rather distinct from the times when they didn’t think of it much at all. Ri wondered what it would feel like to spend most of his time in clothes – it sounded weird, awkward, and stifling. Uncomfortable. It didn’t make sense to him, but he had to accept that to humans it did. He supposed Red’s explanation of sexual drive was the most compelling explanation, but he didn’t know why humans were driven differently than pokemon. He just appreciated how it was for him and Two; he couldn’t imagine how they’d deal with it if they could turn each other on at any moment. The way he was close to his mate as they were talking – he wondered to himself if that would be enough, with the way their bodies were touching. He caught himself – he knew he could start something if he started thinking about it too explicitly – so he just let it go, and decided to cuddle into his mate instead, happy to be safe, loved, and cared for in his presence. Most of the time cuddles were completely wholesome for him and Two; he wondered how humans got by if it was horny all the time. He didn’t have to think about it, though, so he let it go and enjoyed being with his mate.
You’re adorable, Two flirted.
No you, Ri protested in jest. He felt Two’s paw on his nose; a soft boop. Even that was enough to fluster him.
Is there anything you want to do? Two asked innocently.
I don’t know, Ri said. I’m happy just relaxing.
I don’t know either, Two agreed. They ended up just sitting; it was nice, after the stress and work of the day. They didn’t always have to do stuff together actively as a group; it was nice sometimes just to chill. To be able to be comfortable with each other and Red and Blue meant a lot; sometimes they were able to enjoy just that without having to do something to have fun too.
Naturally, though, it lead to thinking again. Ri was able to reflect over the day; it was a pretty good day, he felt. Bad things came to his mind – the harder parts of the day – but he was happy to have withstood them with Two’s help, and he was thankful to have been able to pay attention and help his mate, too. It mattered to him a lot, so he was happy he managed to do it. He felt great cuddling against his mate, secure knowing that, indeed, he was managing to start to be the mate he felt Two deserved of him.
Then of course his mind drifted to the other things that had happened, too: falling apart in front of Omar, then later in the street in public. He knew he wasn’t perfect, but he wanted to be better. Better was getting closer, but it still felt far away. All Ri felt he could do was just hunker down and keep pursuing it with Two. Two seemed to agree with him, so it was just a matter of braving it together. Ri was thankful Two was with him; he couldn’t imagine doing it without him.
“I was thinking,” Red started suddenly, breaking the silence, nearly surprising Ri because of it, “I don’t think I’m going to want to visit any Zoroark soon. My Challenge is my priority… I want to finish it first before figuring out whether I’m a human or a Zoroark.”
… OK, Ri said, with Two’s agreement, pulling his mind from his thoughts to pay attention to Red. It meant Red was saving it until later, but Ri supposed he didn’t mind, at least as long as Red didn’t try to make them do that with him just when they wanted to approach something new for themselves. He couldn’t blame Red for needing time to feel ready for it.
“In that case,” Blue started, “I was thinking…” he seemed much more unsure about his thoughts than Red had.
–Yeah? Ri asked.
“I want to visit my old home,” he asserted.
This brought a little more alarm to Ri and Two both; it was clearly something immediate that he wanted to do soon.
“There are things I left behind there,” he defended, “I want to check on them. Bea… I never got to battle her and Grapploct again. I want to test myself against her now that you’ve trained me. I wanted to see my Mewtwo, too, I realized I miss him. I grew up with him… I want to show him how much I’ve grown since coming to live with you. I want to see my Cerise Lab, too.”
Ri consulted Two about it silently; Blue’s trip idea seemed more disrupting than Red’s trip idea, but he felt they had to consider it fairly. Ri wasn’t quick to want to go to another world when he and Two felt they had priorities here on their world, but he considered carefully, and it felt like the things they had to do they could do on any world. Ri wondered about Red’s Challenge, but he supposed that was up to Red. The old lab – Two had just found the courage to visit it, but they were about to abandon it for… Ri didn’t know how long. They tended to end up visiting for a while… he wasn’t sure he wanted to be away from home that long anymore.
At the same time, though, he recognized that a vacation could help them, give them some distance and perspective. And – they could learn something new, too. And, he remembered what the League had said: they were supposed to keep low for a bit once the announcement about the end of their time as gym leaders went public. Their home was secure; they could afford to leave it for a little while and literally disappear. Ri judged how Two felt about it; largely, it seemed up to Red since Two didn’t seem opposed to it either.
It's up to Red as much as it is up to us, Ri said. Once it’s public we’re no longer gym leaders, we’re supposed to be quiet for a while anyway so it wouldn’t be a problem for us.
“Only a few days,” Blue asserted. “I don’t –”
He nearly shuddered; Ri easily knew what he was thinking. He didn’t want to come across his old trainer. He just wanted to tie up loose ends he’d left escaping Ash. Ri could totally understand the sentiment. Deep in his memory he remembered feeling the same thing when he left Draco to check on his old life. It had turned out – well, indirectly wonderful for him – but he supposed that since they were going with Blue, there wasn’t really any way it would go poorly like it initially had until Ri managed to find his way back to Two.
“It’s fine with me,” Red said, “it was fun to visit, and I’m not about to visit another gym for a bit.”
The Mewtwo, Two wondered out loud. Ri saw how, suddenly, the thought of the other Mewtwo intimidated Two. The one Mewtwo was broken like he was – he had a different story but much the same problems because of it. His child, however… was a normal pokemon like any other who had no history of trauma. Two had somehow managed it when they first met the Mewtwo, but now Ri saw how it could be really bothersome to his mate.
I guess I can withstand it, Two said. Maybe… they could help me.
But they aren’t like you, Ri reminded him. He doesn’t have your story.
I know, Two said. It had been a sore point between them the last time they met. Truthfully, Ri hadn’t really expected to ever see that group again, but they hadn’t left on bad terms, just… terms which implied that they weren’t going to visit again. Blue wanting to go back was reason to visit, though, so he didn’t think it would go too badly.
We could probably manage it, Ri said.
“–Thanks,” Blue said. “Will we be able to do that soon?”
Probably? Ri wondered out loud. Out of curiosity, he decided to teleport himself his laptop and he looked up recent news. He hadn’t been expecting it, but a title appeared: “Pokemon Gym Leaders On Cinnabar Retire From League.” His heart sunk in panic; it was official and they hadn’t even noticed!
Two! He cried out.
Ri!? Two cried back, sensitive to his sudden panic.
I’m – fine, Ri said, realizing he’d made his mate panic. They made it public, though!
Oh gosh, Two said, anxious himself to know. Ri easily shifted against Two so they both could read together:
“The Indigo League is a timeless, seasoned Kanto tradition which honors pokemon and the relationship we humans share with them. Trainers across the region train with their pokemon partners and prove their worth by challenging the numerous Pokemon Gyms Kanto hosts. These Gyms are the bastion of Kanto pride, testing trainers, their pokemon, and the bond they share so that only the worthiest may participate in the Indigo League tournaments. Kanto is proud to be the first region in the world to have recognized Pokemon among its ranks, boasting having sponsored pokemon as Gym leaders for over 20 years. The Gym leaders – Ri, a purple and orange Lucario, and Two, a Mewtwo shrouded in mystery – quickly proved themselves to be the toughest challenge a trainer would face on their path to the championships when they began managing the Cinnabar Gym in the old Gym leader Blaine’s sudden disappearance. Little is known of either of their pasts, though some sources claim Two was an experiment funded by the since-disbanded crime syndicate Team Rocket. These claims proved, however, impossible to verify. It is well-known however that their Gym stands as the ultimate trial which many trainers aspire to overcome over the course of their journey, and the decisiveness with which they enforce their standards is widely discussed in the community and is met with vastly differing opinions from veneration to irritation. It stands, however, that the trust our Champion, Blue, and our League Committee place in these pokemon to judge its participants serves as the highest example of the bond humans and pokemon can form that Kanto can offer.
Unforeseen across the region, the Cinnabar pokemon have recently stepped down from their position as Gym leaders after suddenly closing their gym to challengers. It is not unknown for the mysterious pokemon to step away from their gym frequently and suddenly during the course of a League season, but this news is swift and unexpected and disappointing to hear across the region. Our Gym leaders stand as reliable symbol of Kanto virtue; it is always disturbing when a change in the infrastructure we depend on so mightily happens, but it is especially hard to hear that the leaders we hold the most pride in are relinquishing their roles.
We reached out to the Indigo League Committee as soon as we could when we heard the news, and came in contact with Blue himself. With permission, we shared his brief but pertinent comments:
‘We were always grateful for the help Ri and Two offered us. Even if they didn’t hand out many badges at all, they readily accepted challenger after challenger, and, if rarely I came across someone sporting their badge, it alone held the same weight as the other seven they proudly displayed alongside it. I have always considered Ri and Two friends, and I was always proud to have them on our team and to have their support should trouble arise. It’s unfortunate to say that they are letting go of their Gym, but even pokemon can’t be expected to stick to one job forever. They grow and change just like we do; I wish them well in whatever they choose to pursue next, and I am ever thankful for having had the chance to work alongside them.’
The Saffron Times would have tried to ask the pokemon for their own stories, but at the behest of the League the pokemon are not available for comment. Reflecting the words of our Champion, we wish Ri and Two well in their adventures as ex-Gym leaders, and we thank them for their service.”
There was… a lot to unpack about the article. First – it was a huge relief that, reading over it, everything seemed mostly positive and harmless. Upon closer inspection and reflection, however, the article brought up a ton of questions that Ri wasn’t ready to think about. It venerated Ri and Two; he wasn’t ready to handle it at all, and the pageantry it displayed sickened him. It said a lot of stuffy stuff about the gyms and the Indigo League and its leaders, making them all out to be a lot more than they really were and praising something Ri thought was adequate at best. Ri didn’t want to be a “paragon” or a “bastion” of anything, he was just a Lucario who used his senses to decide not to hand a hunk of metal to random people. The article said quite a bit about him and Two – it was rather revealing about the public image Two held at the moment. Ri foresaw it being troublesome to his mate for his past to be practically erased like that, but at the same time it seemed like it should be liberating and rewarding to know that the public considered him a good pokemon. Most importantly, if most people had forgotten where Two came from, it gave him space to form his own image of himself.
… I don’t know how to feel about it, Two admitted, regarding the article as a whole.
I don’t know either, Ri reflected.
Esteemed, Two said.
I… don’t know, Ri repeated. He honestly wasn’t sure; other things occupied his attention while Two wondered what the article meant for him. Blue’s statement was surprising to hear, but Ri guessed he’d crafted it to cover for them. Dissatisfied, he looked over it again and tried to decipher what was authentic and what was added in to smooth things over. His first comment about their badge sounded genuine; Ri didn’t believe he had any reason to make that up. His wishes later in the statement were surely authentic; he’d said as much to them directly when they saw him. He was careful to avoid why they’d avoided their gym, he noticed, and even added on a sort of ‘red herring’ to make sure nobody really questioned it. It was strictly true, Ri guessed – he and Two grew and changed – but he was thankful for the way Blue had obfuscated it. The only thing, then, was… his comment about them being friends and their support. As far as Ri was aware, the League wasn’t under any impressions Ri and Two would show up if the gym leaders were needed for anything, and it didn’t seem appropriate for them to be ‘friends’ since they’d barely interacted at all. He recognized it was just fluff that kept them safe; Ri just liked knowing. Aside from that, the entire article sounded like fluff. It felt like a funeral was happening – like Ri and Two were the most important people in the world and everything was going to be terrible because they were gone – but it felt kind of insulting because it was obvious that things were going to go back to normal the next day like nothing had happened at all.
However, Ri was still anxious to get away. He was happy to disappear for a little while and let the news pass. He thought about doing something as simple as going out for groceries and getting bombarded by strangers wondering why they retired. It seemed impossible to do anything they liked to do away from their home, so it seemed reasonable to Ri to go somewhere more ‘exotic’ for an extended period of time. Aside from reliving the things that had happened the last time they’d gone, it felt like a great idea to visit Blue’s old world.
“Guys, are you going to tell us what’s happening?” Red poked. It shocked Ri and Two both out of their trains of thought, but it didn’t really bother either of them this time. They realized they’d practically dissociated and totally forgot to let them know.
They made the announcement, Ri said.
“Can we see?” Blue asked.
Sure, Ri said, holding out his laptop for Blue to take from him. When Blue had it, he retreated back to Two to consider what it was they’d read. It ended up surmounting to the public appreciating what they did as gym leaders and being proud of them serving in one of their esteemed positions. They didn’t have any apparent clue about Ri’s color or his brand, and they seemed to have forgotten about Two’s past, and they didn’t really mention Red or Blue, either. Ri hoped that they would be able to slip into a calm life where they could have privacy, but he figured they should wait and see what sort of discussion the announcement brought up. It was the first time in a long while Ri was aware he and Two had been in the news, so he wondered what sort of attention they’d get because of it.
It'll be good to get away, Two said, once again in response to Ri’s thoughts.
Yeah, Ri agreed. At least until it’s a little calmer.
And until we can look back and see what attention we got.
That was the only thing that was really scary; Ri didn’t know who would notice. He and Two felt comfortable in Kanto only because it seemed like Rocket had been disbanded and nobody had taken their place, but they didn’t know for sure and they didn’t know who else might try to attack them from other regions. In their little way they’d gotten away with going around – mostly, it seemed, because people didn’t know who they were – but with such public attention, people were sure to figure it out, and if they were being watched, it was only a matter of time before someone with less respect than usual for pokemon and deep pockets and a desire to rule over others came and knocked at their door with more than a little force.
“It doesn’t seem that bad,” Blue commented, passing Ri’s laptop back to him.
No, Ri said, but we don’t know what attention it’ll bring us.
“Rocket’s been dead – at least since I was Champion,” Red confirmed.
But we don’t know who else there is, Two countered.
“Haven’t we been safe so far?” Blue wondered out loud.
People don’t seem to know who we are, but they’ll figure it out if this gets enough attention.
And “ex-gym leader” isn’t as powerful a title as “gym leader,” Two pointed out.
“Are you being –” Blue started, but he fizzled out. Ri sensed what he was asking anyway, but he did fairly appreciate Blue seeing what he was saying: “Are you being paranoid about it?”
… Maybe, Ri said fairly, bothered by the thought even if Blue had managed to keep out. Ri felt embarrassed about it, like he was caught doing something wrong. I don’t want to end up dead or without Two or…
Ri didn’t want to think about the ways things could end poorly for him or Two. He’d already experienced how that could go, and he shuddered thinking about it, prompting Two to hug him close in concern. Ri tried to withstand it; he was safe now. He was lucky back then that Two had managed to find him; he couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if Two weren’t there.
They won’t separate us so easily again, Two comforted him.
We won’t so easily let ourselves get separated, Ri said back, through the fog he was trying to fight back.
No, we won’t, Two said, squeezing at him. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again.
I –
Ri didn’t know either, but he suspected he’d lose it. He didn’t like thinking about it and he knew it was dangerous to think about too much; he tried to back up from it and reassure himself that he didn’t have to worry about it. Two wouldn’t, at the very least, choose to abandon him, and he could find comfort in that. That was why the thought of Rocket or other people getting a hold of them was so scary. Ri thought and hoped it would be very difficult, but they could still be forced apart.
“But you’ll be safe on my world for a while?” Blue continued. Ri sensed he was aware of what was happening, but the change of topic was welcome; it helped take Ri’s mind off of things.
Probably, Ri said. Visiting might help us keep sane for a little while.
“Will we be able to visit, then?”
With the direct question, the reality of it suddenly became real in Ri’s mind. It was scary, going away from home again, but at the same time, it was either that or be stuck home
We need to be able to do what we need to to function, Two drew out.
Yeah, Ri agreed. It’s scary, but I think it’s better than staying here.
Yeah, Two said.
We can go, Ri said, as long as Red’s fine with it.
“Sounds good,” Red said. “Tomorrow?”
… Yeah, Ri figured. He sighed; visiting another universe wasn’t as restful as staying home, but since the alternative seemed to be staying at home and festering unable to go out, it did just seem better to take a vacation. It was a commitment, but it was one he was willing to make, especially since Blue seemed to need it, too. Ri didn’t want to get in the way of his friends’ needs anymore, so he was happy to feel able to do it.
“I wonder what it’s going to be like,” Blue said. Ri saw how it was daunting for him, too; he felt awkward about it but he wondered about offering help. He sensed Two was feeling awkward and apprehensive about it too since the earlier incident, but he felt some bit of Two wanted to help, so he took it upon himself to do it for both of them.
You’re – not the same pokemon you were when you left, Ri said, it’s going to feel different. It’s not the same world anymore, either.
“Will it really be that different?” Blue wondered.
You changed a lot between the times we saw you, Two said awkwardly.
It’ll be more time for them than it was for you, Ri added on.
“It’s – barely been a year,” Blue remembered. “Things can’t be –"
It’s been more for them, Two said.
And you’ve learned a lot, Ri reminded him. And settled in here.
The advice seemed to bother Blue – which wasn’t really Ri’s intent – but it seemed better for him to be aware than it did for him to be hit by it hard and suddenly. Ri remembered going back to his old world after meeting Two, and it had been a huge shock, especially since his partner had changed so much. Ri had too – which he only realized when he went back to Two – but his situation was the same as Blue’s was about to be: he was going to go back to a world on which more time had passed than it had for him. Ri hoped it would be OK, but it was better to be prepared than not.
“… Tomorrow then,” Blue insisted. The conversation disengaged from there. Ri sat with Two, anticipating their journey to Blue’s world and worrying about what things were going to be like when they got back, while Red and Blue chilled, preparing themselves too. They eventually got around to playing some games together on their relatively-new Playvision, but they ended up going to bed fairly early, exhausted from battles and breakdowns and exploring Vermilion and anticipating waking up the next day for a huge trip with a lot of unknowns for all of them – at least for Blue and for Two, and for Ri and Two when they finally got back. Ri hoped it would be fun, but things always seemed to go bad when they went on a trip like this. Ri didn’t really worry for himself this time, but he hoped for Two’s sake that things would go well. And, in a smaller extent, for Blue, too.
Following Red on his journey to battle all the gyms in Kanto, Ri, Two, and their friends visit Vermilion City and do their usual routine of exploring the city.
This time another SFW story! It's been sitting in draft-form in my backlog for a while now, but I finally got around to finishing it up and getting it shared. This one's got a few problems but, well, at least it's out there now, I guess. I've got the *next* story written to, already, but that'll take some time to get up, too because it's much longer. I was going to *stop* doing those kinds of stories, but, well... oops... A lot of stuff happens in the next one, though, I think there's a lot of growth in my characters and in how I treat them, too!
- Ri
This time another SFW story! It's been sitting in draft-form in my backlog for a while now, but I finally got around to finishing it up and getting it shared. This one's got a few problems but, well, at least it's out there now, I guess. I've got the *next* story written to, already, but that'll take some time to get up, too because it's much longer. I was going to *stop* doing those kinds of stories, but, well... oops... A lot of stuff happens in the next one, though, I think there's a lot of growth in my characters and in how I treat them, too!
- Ri
Category Story / Pokemon
Species Pokemon
Gender Multiple characters
Size 120 x 120px
Comments