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Letters to Cripto: #52
DISCLAIMER: This letter was written just after the fan mail crisis.
Dear Cripto,
I noticed that your boss (Super C) is really ticked off with the American public right now. Did the fan mail crisis you were having at the time have something to do with it? Or there is more to it than that? Personally, I think it shows how ungrateful your society is, not just with you superheroes, but with absolutely everything. But then again, am I mistaken? I work for as a camera operator for ITV, one of the UK's major commercial broadcasting networks, so it's been in our newscasts a lot. That's not to criticize your people, though; our Prime Minister, Sir Lionus Claudius, GBE (Lionus the Chivalric Lion) frequently says that if you, the USA, are the greatest nation on Earth, then we, the UK, have to be one of your strongest allies. The news solely mentioned that he was angry with his own people because they kept trying to dig up dirt on him, you, and all the G-52s. There's no dirt to dig up!
All your fans say hello; the UK is the European country that has the biggest number of fans of you and your rock band, Furry Fury.
Sincerely,
Yaz Borinson, age 24 (female ocelot)
Salford, Greater Manchester, England
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Cripto's response:
Dear Yaz:
The bulk of what was upsetting the boss was the fan mail crisis primarily because they were asking about our pasts. There's a reason he doesn't want us dwelling on our pasts, but nobody ever would have thought that there was money in it! I'm baffled that they didn't just make stuff up. Ultimately, they were just angry that they had lost their jobs, because when Leo the Patriotic Lion was elected President (and he won without even trying), all those tabloids (except one) suddenly went out of business. I get it; it's not fair to those people, because truth be told, they got fired for nothing. Their best option would have been to move to genuine journalism. Instead, they wanted to begin their own tabloid. It's the only life they ever knew.
I don't think you're mistaken. In the many times I've been to the UK and appeared on ITV, I know they hold themselves to a high standard when doing interviews. If there's more to it than that, I can't speak about it, because the boss is picky about which letters we can reply to and which ones we cannot, but he let me do this one. In the end, he just wanted the people to behave themselves, leave us alone, and stop writing controversial fan letters. But did they listen? No. They didn't. Now they're paying the price for it, one way or another.
Hope that helps; if not, feel free to write back and let me know what I missed. Thanks for writing me, and I send our greetings back to the fans. My band and I have had many thrills performing for those inside and outside the country, and we love the UK.
Take care of yourself now, and keep it pure.
Yours truly,
Nathan Knight, a.k.a. CriptoCat (Cripto for short)
Frontman for the rock band Furry Fury
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Letters to Cripto: #52
DISCLAIMER: This letter was written just after the fan mail crisis.
Dear Cripto,
I noticed that your boss (Super C) is really ticked off with the American public right now. Did the fan mail crisis you were having at the time have something to do with it? Or there is more to it than that? Personally, I think it shows how ungrateful your society is, not just with you superheroes, but with absolutely everything. But then again, am I mistaken? I work for as a camera operator for ITV, one of the UK's major commercial broadcasting networks, so it's been in our newscasts a lot. That's not to criticize your people, though; our Prime Minister, Sir Lionus Claudius, GBE (Lionus the Chivalric Lion) frequently says that if you, the USA, are the greatest nation on Earth, then we, the UK, have to be one of your strongest allies. The news solely mentioned that he was angry with his own people because they kept trying to dig up dirt on him, you, and all the G-52s. There's no dirt to dig up!
All your fans say hello; the UK is the European country that has the biggest number of fans of you and your rock band, Furry Fury.
Sincerely,
Yaz Borinson, age 24 (female ocelot)
Salford, Greater Manchester, England
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Cripto's response:
Dear Yaz:
The bulk of what was upsetting the boss was the fan mail crisis primarily because they were asking about our pasts. There's a reason he doesn't want us dwelling on our pasts, but nobody ever would have thought that there was money in it! I'm baffled that they didn't just make stuff up. Ultimately, they were just angry that they had lost their jobs, because when Leo the Patriotic Lion was elected President (and he won without even trying), all those tabloids (except one) suddenly went out of business. I get it; it's not fair to those people, because truth be told, they got fired for nothing. Their best option would have been to move to genuine journalism. Instead, they wanted to begin their own tabloid. It's the only life they ever knew.
I don't think you're mistaken. In the many times I've been to the UK and appeared on ITV, I know they hold themselves to a high standard when doing interviews. If there's more to it than that, I can't speak about it, because the boss is picky about which letters we can reply to and which ones we cannot, but he let me do this one. In the end, he just wanted the people to behave themselves, leave us alone, and stop writing controversial fan letters. But did they listen? No. They didn't. Now they're paying the price for it, one way or another.
Hope that helps; if not, feel free to write back and let me know what I missed. Thanks for writing me, and I send our greetings back to the fans. My band and I have had many thrills performing for those inside and outside the country, and we love the UK.
Take care of yourself now, and keep it pure.
Yours truly,
Nathan Knight, a.k.a. CriptoCat (Cripto for short)
Frontman for the rock band Furry Fury
Cripto's fifty-second letter. Clearly he gets the most fan mail of all the G-52s.
Cripto, Super C, etc. mentioned © me and me alone
All parallels of Leo are joint-owned by Chuong and me
Cripto, Super C, etc. mentioned © me and me alone
All parallels of Leo are joint-owned by Chuong and me
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
Comments