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Letters to Leo the Patriotic Lion: #48
Dear Leo,
Remember the whole obsession with a French basketball player named Steeve Ho You Fat? This year began with a much bigger obsession that is home-grown; a high-school football kid named Noah Knigga (pronounced ke-neh-gah). When it comes to athletes with unusual names, they are instantly stars for a long time and jersey sales bearing their names tend to sell out rather quickly. No doubt will Noah, at the rate he's going, will be instantly popular for whatever college football team he'll be playing for, and if he makes it to the NFL, the team that picks him will become America's biggest obsession with jerseys of his name selling out instantly way before the first game begins. The kid's family wasn't aware how their last name would cause others to do double-takes because in the state of Indiana, everybody knows how to actually pronounce that name and not laugh about it. Of course, his family do have a good sense of humor when interviewers across the country spoke to them, and that they did not name their kid Noah just for the sake of humor with their family name.
The origins of the last name of Knigga is in Poland, and I feel sorry for your Polish parallel, Leonek the Hussar Lion, who will one day discover that his country will eventually produce a global celebrity with that last name that will instantly draw our country's obsession with them. I also feel sorry for the sports announcer who will have to pronounce Noah's last name right the first time or risk being fired instantly or at least cancelled on social media. I sometimes wonder how Wildcat Broadcasting Corporation addresses topics to their reporters if they have to cover people with unusual sounding names at least.
So how do you feel about the fact that we have a home-grown obsession of Noah Knigga that caused a sudden surge of Americans being deeply interested in football, and that if Noah makes it to the NFL, America will be obsessed with it over him?
Terrell Donaldson, age 24 (cheetah)
Anderson, Indiana, United States of America
Leo's reply:
Dear Terrell:
I'm not surprised about this happening, but the difference is that the kid lives here in the U.S. Steeve Ho You Fat lives in France, and even Mayor Jabowitz has been asking the NBA not to recruit him. Ultimately, however, that's his choice. As for Noah, I do feel bad for him and his family as well, because the if you pronounce the last name the wrong way, it becomes an offensive term aimed at black people. (I think you can figure out what the word is; I'm not saying it. Such a word is why the book "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was banned from all of Wildcat City's schools, and will be banned for all eternity. That's not to say people still don't read that book; they just ask for a censored version of it.) It will bring them unwanted attention and publicity.
WBC is picky about what it reports and what it doesn't, so its reporters weren't doing any stories on Steeve Ho You Fat. My guess is that they won't be doing any on Noah Knigga either. I do feel bad for Leonek as well, since it will bring unwanted attention to the people of Poland as well as to that kid. Sometimes it's best to just leave people alone.
But the real problem will be the people making all those double takes and innuendos because of how the name can be taken out of context. I don't want to see a repeat of what happened with Steeve; down in Texas, a bunch of teenagers suddenly became orphans when their parents and siblings died on the spot upon hearing that they bought jerseys with the last name on it. Coincidence? I think not. (This is the supernatural picking up where CNG left off when it ceased to exist in 2022.) I don't want that happening again with Noah. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I don't know. But one thing I do know is that will ultimately bring in more money for whatever college he plays for, and then the NFL if he goes into that.
If worst comes to worst, Noah may have to find a pseudonym to go by so that it does not lead to immature behavior (although we cannot guarantee that this is the case).
Did that help? If not, let me know where I made a mistake. Sometimes I struggle to think of an answer to these questions, but everything you've heard from me was my honest opinion, 100%.
Yours truly,
Leo Zanicchi, a.k.a. Leo the Patriotic Lion
President of the United States of America
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Letters to Leo the Patriotic Lion: #48
Dear Leo,
Remember the whole obsession with a French basketball player named Steeve Ho You Fat? This year began with a much bigger obsession that is home-grown; a high-school football kid named Noah Knigga (pronounced ke-neh-gah). When it comes to athletes with unusual names, they are instantly stars for a long time and jersey sales bearing their names tend to sell out rather quickly. No doubt will Noah, at the rate he's going, will be instantly popular for whatever college football team he'll be playing for, and if he makes it to the NFL, the team that picks him will become America's biggest obsession with jerseys of his name selling out instantly way before the first game begins. The kid's family wasn't aware how their last name would cause others to do double-takes because in the state of Indiana, everybody knows how to actually pronounce that name and not laugh about it. Of course, his family do have a good sense of humor when interviewers across the country spoke to them, and that they did not name their kid Noah just for the sake of humor with their family name.
The origins of the last name of Knigga is in Poland, and I feel sorry for your Polish parallel, Leonek the Hussar Lion, who will one day discover that his country will eventually produce a global celebrity with that last name that will instantly draw our country's obsession with them. I also feel sorry for the sports announcer who will have to pronounce Noah's last name right the first time or risk being fired instantly or at least cancelled on social media. I sometimes wonder how Wildcat Broadcasting Corporation addresses topics to their reporters if they have to cover people with unusual sounding names at least.
So how do you feel about the fact that we have a home-grown obsession of Noah Knigga that caused a sudden surge of Americans being deeply interested in football, and that if Noah makes it to the NFL, America will be obsessed with it over him?
Terrell Donaldson, age 24 (cheetah)
Anderson, Indiana, United States of America
Leo's reply:
Dear Terrell:
I'm not surprised about this happening, but the difference is that the kid lives here in the U.S. Steeve Ho You Fat lives in France, and even Mayor Jabowitz has been asking the NBA not to recruit him. Ultimately, however, that's his choice. As for Noah, I do feel bad for him and his family as well, because the if you pronounce the last name the wrong way, it becomes an offensive term aimed at black people. (I think you can figure out what the word is; I'm not saying it. Such a word is why the book "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was banned from all of Wildcat City's schools, and will be banned for all eternity. That's not to say people still don't read that book; they just ask for a censored version of it.) It will bring them unwanted attention and publicity.
WBC is picky about what it reports and what it doesn't, so its reporters weren't doing any stories on Steeve Ho You Fat. My guess is that they won't be doing any on Noah Knigga either. I do feel bad for Leonek as well, since it will bring unwanted attention to the people of Poland as well as to that kid. Sometimes it's best to just leave people alone.
But the real problem will be the people making all those double takes and innuendos because of how the name can be taken out of context. I don't want to see a repeat of what happened with Steeve; down in Texas, a bunch of teenagers suddenly became orphans when their parents and siblings died on the spot upon hearing that they bought jerseys with the last name on it. Coincidence? I think not. (This is the supernatural picking up where CNG left off when it ceased to exist in 2022.) I don't want that happening again with Noah. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I don't know. But one thing I do know is that will ultimately bring in more money for whatever college he plays for, and then the NFL if he goes into that.
If worst comes to worst, Noah may have to find a pseudonym to go by so that it does not lead to immature behavior (although we cannot guarantee that this is the case).
Did that help? If not, let me know where I made a mistake. Sometimes I struggle to think of an answer to these questions, but everything you've heard from me was my honest opinion, 100%.
Yours truly,
Leo Zanicchi, a.k.a. Leo the Patriotic Lion
President of the United States of America
Letters to Leo the Patriotic Lion: #48
Leo's forty-eighth letter.
Leo himself © me and me alone
All parallels of Leo are joint-owned by me and Chuong
Leo himself © me and me alone
All parallels of Leo are joint-owned by me and Chuong
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
Listed in Folders
Chuong: Being immortalized by CNG does have its downsides so that means Leonek will one day wake up to a famous male Polish athlete bearing that last name. Leonek, get ready for that moment! Doesn't even help that there are American soldiers stationed in Poland so when that happens, they're going to spread the word to America and the Americans are going to obsess in that person.
Zax: So wonderful that we're basically achieving world peace just for this and yes that's a real surname.
Hussar Husky: Great the Americans are going to be obsessing on that guy for years to come. Now I worry that one day, the Americans will obsess on our country when we have a celebrity with that last name.
Marshall: Oh goodness I'm not bothering to say that name. Beaner is also an actual last name which is unintentionally a slur against Mexicans. In the state of Washington, there is a small lake called Beaner Lake and it attracts loads of immature tourists.
Jack: I was born in Washington State and never heard of that lake until now.
Chuong: They say in Christianity, the people born with their names defend them deeply. Now, there's this unintentionally to test people their maturity.
Mechayote: Noah... Oh goodness that sounds horrible if read wrong! I feel sorry for the people who look at his ID who have to hold in their laughter over that. It's even worse that he will be our national obsession for years to come.
Zax: So wonderful that we're basically achieving world peace just for this and yes that's a real surname.
Hussar Husky: Great the Americans are going to be obsessing on that guy for years to come. Now I worry that one day, the Americans will obsess on our country when we have a celebrity with that last name.
Marshall: Oh goodness I'm not bothering to say that name. Beaner is also an actual last name which is unintentionally a slur against Mexicans. In the state of Washington, there is a small lake called Beaner Lake and it attracts loads of immature tourists.
Jack: I was born in Washington State and never heard of that lake until now.
Chuong: They say in Christianity, the people born with their names defend them deeply. Now, there's this unintentionally to test people their maturity.
Mechayote: Noah... Oh goodness that sounds horrible if read wrong! I feel sorry for the people who look at his ID who have to hold in their laughter over that. It's even worse that he will be our national obsession for years to come.
Leonek: I've already been anticipating that, Moon Moon. You don't have control over your surname. That's just fate. There is the possibility that everybody will focus on him so much, they'll forget about the basketball player.
Leo: I wouldn't bet on that, but I don't gamble. There's always somebody.
Leo: I wouldn't bet on that, but I don't gamble. There's always somebody.
Chuong: They're Americans, of course they'll be focusing on Noah before Steeve. Oh wait, the Summer Olympics in France is coming. You know what that means Leonce.
Battle Bear: I rather not think about this.
Mechayote: Didn't the afomentioned lake have a lot of CNG cases? Because if so, how come immature tourists are flocking there again?
Marshall: Good question. I feel sorry for the park rangers who have to deal with this. It doesn't help that they would be using their camping gear to grill Mexican food there before snapping pictures of themselves with it. But there's been talks by local officials about banning camping there to try to stem immature tourists from visiting the lake over the name.
Battle Bear: I rather not think about this.
Mechayote: Didn't the afomentioned lake have a lot of CNG cases? Because if so, how come immature tourists are flocking there again?
Marshall: Good question. I feel sorry for the park rangers who have to deal with this. It doesn't help that they would be using their camping gear to grill Mexican food there before snapping pictures of themselves with it. But there's been talks by local officials about banning camping there to try to stem immature tourists from visiting the lake over the name.
Leonce: It's been on my mind all year so far.
Super C: That lake did have many a scene of a lot of people dying from CNG. But that doesn't stop the tourists.
Super C: That lake did have many a scene of a lot of people dying from CNG. But that doesn't stop the tourists.
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