Commissions Cancelled
5 years ago
I feel as bad as disappointed if not more. But I believe this is the right thing to do for now.
I originally opened for commissions in hope that I'll be able to find passion in drawing again. I waited until I quit my job. I thought to myself, I'll have more time by then to focus in doing what I enjoy. Yet, the opposite happened. No matter how much I try for hours, I just find myself deleting all the layers and scraping all the sketches. It just didn't feel right. I was only forcing myself to draw. I didn't have motivation nor inspiration like I used to be.
My art is more than just a digital piece for me. It's a product of time, passion, and learning. I realized that is what I was lacking. I got too drained out. I lost my passion. I no longer enjoy drawing. I've reached a dead end. I used to hold on to my art because it was my only way of escaping reality. Sadly, I held on to it for too long that I lost interest in it.
That's when I thought to myself, anything I make at this state, is not art and it will not be worth any penny. I refuse to make someone pay for an art piece that is done without passion. That's just not me. I still look at artworks by other artists but this time it feels different. Instead of motivating me to work harder, it just makes me feel bad about myself because of how little I can do compared to them. I wasn't like this at all. But one day I just woke up and realized maybe hard work is futile.
I was so happy at the beginning of the year when I got accepted to an art school. I really was. Now, I'm not even keen anymore. I'm at that point in life where I have no idea what to do next. What's the point anymore? If I no longer enjoy what I used to love then what now? I don't know what to do. I'm stuck.
Maybe this happens to other artists as well, I don't know. One thing I do know is I need to find back my passion for art again. But until then, I refuse to accept any monetary compensation.
I'm sorry.
I originally opened for commissions in hope that I'll be able to find passion in drawing again. I waited until I quit my job. I thought to myself, I'll have more time by then to focus in doing what I enjoy. Yet, the opposite happened. No matter how much I try for hours, I just find myself deleting all the layers and scraping all the sketches. It just didn't feel right. I was only forcing myself to draw. I didn't have motivation nor inspiration like I used to be.
My art is more than just a digital piece for me. It's a product of time, passion, and learning. I realized that is what I was lacking. I got too drained out. I lost my passion. I no longer enjoy drawing. I've reached a dead end. I used to hold on to my art because it was my only way of escaping reality. Sadly, I held on to it for too long that I lost interest in it.
That's when I thought to myself, anything I make at this state, is not art and it will not be worth any penny. I refuse to make someone pay for an art piece that is done without passion. That's just not me. I still look at artworks by other artists but this time it feels different. Instead of motivating me to work harder, it just makes me feel bad about myself because of how little I can do compared to them. I wasn't like this at all. But one day I just woke up and realized maybe hard work is futile.
I was so happy at the beginning of the year when I got accepted to an art school. I really was. Now, I'm not even keen anymore. I'm at that point in life where I have no idea what to do next. What's the point anymore? If I no longer enjoy what I used to love then what now? I don't know what to do. I'm stuck.
Maybe this happens to other artists as well, I don't know. One thing I do know is I need to find back my passion for art again. But until then, I refuse to accept any monetary compensation.
I'm sorry.
I hope that you can regain your love for drawing soon, but for now, it might be best to just take a break and focus on yourself, on your own well being and perhaps personal art just for you of things that inspire you on a whim.
Sometimes, all we need is a bit of time away.
A similar thing happened to me a few years back - and it took me quite some time to overcome this, but part of what helped me was going wild and crazy with other materials and media!
I tried anything from markers to aquarell to water color - going back to digital - going back to traditional - rinse and repeat!
I also tried different styles and analyzed artwork - thinking what about these pieces I liked - thinking which parts I could try integrating into my style and my pieces, in order to change.
It took a long while - but eventually, I found my passion for art again.
Sending hugs and good vibes, if wanted. ; ___ ;
Art can easily go from a passion to just another job or something that just drains you.
I don’t know a single artist who hasn’t had a burnt-out period. Heck, just creators in-general.
I think you’re doing the right thing. Take a break from everything.
Try to think of what lit your passion in the first place, and ask yourself if you want to create or if you just like having an end product. If you take no joy in creating, it’s time to take a breather.
It took my passion a few years to come back, and honestly, depression makes these burnout times horrible. Three years or so, honestly? Nothing I created was ever enough. It wasn’t right. I couldn’t put what I saw in my mind on paper and all the amazing people I looked up to seemed to become competition or a reason for me to be self-critical.
If you feel awful when you stop making things, then try just making simple doodles for yourself. Even stick figures. Focus on making rather than improving.
The second I catch myself feeling burnt out, I lay down and make a crayon drawing. It’s simple, it’s fun, and it’s not SUPPOSED to be anything other than fun. I end up loving those little dudes.
It’s a trial and error process in finding your passion again, but until the passion awakens again— just focus on you. Be aware of your mental health and focus on just having a good day each day. Everyone needs something a little different. I hope you find whatever you need to get your passion back! Feeling like this is terrible but I promise you it will either pass or you will find another passion to fill the void~. Hang in there & take care of yourself!