A mini-vent with a question
Posted 8 months agoThe question is: how do you interact with other furs? In any sense you'd wish to reply, really.
I probably shouldn't be writing all this in the first place, but today, ma asociality is vexing me more than normal, hence the vent part. So many folks say it is easier for them to interact online. For me it's the exact opposite. Even taking correction for being far (like, *really* far) from the boldest.
As long as we keep to an exchange of purely factual information, it's alright I guess. But any more personal or emotionally charged stuff comes up, and I'm getting anxious. Not being face-to-face deprives me of:
1) Non-verbal feedback. As bad as I may be at it, this is a feedback nonetheless. Without it, I feel as if the informational channel I use was surrounded by an "interpretational void" in which anything can happen, any misunderstandings can arise, and I'll be powerless to do anything about them as I can't provide my own non-verbal feedback too.
2) Perceived necessity to control my behavior and prevent any mental glitches from happening. This is a long story, but my mind has an unnerving tendency for "glitching", as if going through tiny, self-resolving stints of insanity, where my view of everything is skewed and my communication goes ways I regret later. I learned to mostly "iron it out" in RL communication, where *at worst*, said non-verbal cues inform me that things are getting weird again and I should double up my self-control, or disengage in a controlled fashion. Online, all this feedback-and-control part is absent and I can cause worst fuckery without even realizing until it's too late.
The big exception is writing long letters, I can stretch the process over many days and make sure I get my point across exactly the way I wanted. But this isn't much of online communication in the modern sense, rather the old art of letter-writing, just not on paper anymore.
The outcome is that all this leaves me feeling pretty much isolated (as IRL, I'm far away from everyone and everything). I'm quite comfortable communicating through art, also the comments are something I cherish. The other avenues of contact however, social media, chats, you name it - I cannot help but to avoid this like a plague. It has ended badly so many times before that I can't feel anything else than anxiety at the thought of it.
I probably shouldn't be writing all this in the first place, but today, ma asociality is vexing me more than normal, hence the vent part. So many folks say it is easier for them to interact online. For me it's the exact opposite. Even taking correction for being far (like, *really* far) from the boldest.
As long as we keep to an exchange of purely factual information, it's alright I guess. But any more personal or emotionally charged stuff comes up, and I'm getting anxious. Not being face-to-face deprives me of:
1) Non-verbal feedback. As bad as I may be at it, this is a feedback nonetheless. Without it, I feel as if the informational channel I use was surrounded by an "interpretational void" in which anything can happen, any misunderstandings can arise, and I'll be powerless to do anything about them as I can't provide my own non-verbal feedback too.
2) Perceived necessity to control my behavior and prevent any mental glitches from happening. This is a long story, but my mind has an unnerving tendency for "glitching", as if going through tiny, self-resolving stints of insanity, where my view of everything is skewed and my communication goes ways I regret later. I learned to mostly "iron it out" in RL communication, where *at worst*, said non-verbal cues inform me that things are getting weird again and I should double up my self-control, or disengage in a controlled fashion. Online, all this feedback-and-control part is absent and I can cause worst fuckery without even realizing until it's too late.
The big exception is writing long letters, I can stretch the process over many days and make sure I get my point across exactly the way I wanted. But this isn't much of online communication in the modern sense, rather the old art of letter-writing, just not on paper anymore.
The outcome is that all this leaves me feeling pretty much isolated (as IRL, I'm far away from everyone and everything). I'm quite comfortable communicating through art, also the comments are something I cherish. The other avenues of contact however, social media, chats, you name it - I cannot help but to avoid this like a plague. It has ended badly so many times before that I can't feel anything else than anxiety at the thought of it.
Summer break
Posted 10 months agoMy job cycle is picking up the speed for this season, which for you who watch me largely means that it will be a break when it comes to my art. It effectively is already.
As usual, I may be able to make something in the meantime, regardless. Especially that I have some image series started, and with the environment already prepared it's all quite a bit easier.
Of other things: this is probably of marginal interest to anyone, but for myself, I'm damn proud. I managed to overhaul my old, failing mountain bike all by myself. It's quicker to say what remained than what was replaced: the frame, the crankset, the whole "steering assembly" (although I performed maintenance on that also as the handlebar was shaky), the seatpost. Everything else was successfully replaced by yours truly. And the bike works much better than before.
If there only was a way to install front suspension, it wouldn't have been any worse from new bikes, at one third of the cost. Sadly it comes from the age before front suspension was common (yes, it is that old) and the frame geometry doesn't agree with it, the front would get raised quite a lot.
My next goal is a full suspension bike. These things can cost a lot here when new. But with my newly confirmed tech skills (I made over 100 km on the overhauled bike by now, and nothing came off!), I can look into the used ones, knowing that as long as the frame is intact, I'm capable of replacing a failing component with my very own paws. :p But yeah, very much like art, this will need to wait for the autumn...
As usual, I may be able to make something in the meantime, regardless. Especially that I have some image series started, and with the environment already prepared it's all quite a bit easier.
Of other things: this is probably of marginal interest to anyone, but for myself, I'm damn proud. I managed to overhaul my old, failing mountain bike all by myself. It's quicker to say what remained than what was replaced: the frame, the crankset, the whole "steering assembly" (although I performed maintenance on that also as the handlebar was shaky), the seatpost. Everything else was successfully replaced by yours truly. And the bike works much better than before.
If there only was a way to install front suspension, it wouldn't have been any worse from new bikes, at one third of the cost. Sadly it comes from the age before front suspension was common (yes, it is that old) and the frame geometry doesn't agree with it, the front would get raised quite a lot.
My next goal is a full suspension bike. These things can cost a lot here when new. But with my newly confirmed tech skills (I made over 100 km on the overhauled bike by now, and nothing came off!), I can look into the used ones, knowing that as long as the frame is intact, I'm capable of replacing a failing component with my very own paws. :p But yeah, very much like art, this will need to wait for the autumn...
Usage of music in animations
Posted a year agoKind of random question but I had it on my mind for quite some time now. Let's assume I want to make a music video kind of animation (it's not any immediate project at this point, just a loose concept). What are the rules on using music in it?
One would think that everything online is copyrighted tight these days. But this most obvious assumption is contradicted by metric ton of various remixes of existing songs which people post. And a quick search reveals random videos of people dancing to obviously copyrighted tunes. So it apparently is OK?...
Obviously, my video would have been non-commercial in nature. Had it been a commission, I'd have sought out some music maker, preferably within the furry community to avoid any WTF moments, and strike some cooperation with them. That is obvious. What is not obvious is again, what rules of usage and limitations apply to a purely hobbyist art project. In case anyone can shed some light on the topic, I'd be grateful.
One idea I have is to stick to those genres where the stance on copyrighting seems relaxed to begin with. For instance, within psytrance everyone is remixing everyone else constantly. And within aggrotech, the "industrial dance" vids are so common that if I added one more but furry-themed, nobody would notice.
Just in case my question appears too dumb and easy to answer, please do be informed that I don't just live under a stone, I'm a licensed orthodox cave hyena as far as all social media & youtubing stuff is involved. Thanks. :p
PS. Of course I know about royalty free music. In a pinch, I can limit myself to this. It's just that things I'd truly like are hard to find there.
One would think that everything online is copyrighted tight these days. But this most obvious assumption is contradicted by metric ton of various remixes of existing songs which people post. And a quick search reveals random videos of people dancing to obviously copyrighted tunes. So it apparently is OK?...
Obviously, my video would have been non-commercial in nature. Had it been a commission, I'd have sought out some music maker, preferably within the furry community to avoid any WTF moments, and strike some cooperation with them. That is obvious. What is not obvious is again, what rules of usage and limitations apply to a purely hobbyist art project. In case anyone can shed some light on the topic, I'd be grateful.
One idea I have is to stick to those genres where the stance on copyrighting seems relaxed to begin with. For instance, within psytrance everyone is remixing everyone else constantly. And within aggrotech, the "industrial dance" vids are so common that if I added one more but furry-themed, nobody would notice.
Just in case my question appears too dumb and easy to answer, please do be informed that I don't just live under a stone, I'm a licensed orthodox cave hyena as far as all social media & youtubing stuff is involved. Thanks. :p
PS. Of course I know about royalty free music. In a pinch, I can limit myself to this. It's just that things I'd truly like are hard to find there.
The hold-up
Posted a year agoIf anyone wonders where have I disappeared, here's the thing.
Tl;dr: if you need to transport a PC which has huge graphics card and processor cooling system, remove those parts first! Just make sure you can pack the GPU into something that will protect it from static discharges; wrapping it in a sweater is probably not a good idea either.
So, I had to have my PC transported a... longer route. And in my "infinite wisdom", I never thought that this chonky GPU should better be removed for transport. I should have known better as it happened before that the CPU cooling fell out on such an occasion - but that time, the GPU stayed in place and I thought that it's safe... But this time, apparently the prolonged vibrations of such a mass finally managed to partially tear out the PCIe socket from the motherboard. And one of SATA ports located directly under the GPU went with it as well.
At least, the GPU itself was tested and appears to be alright. But there's no way to use it in the damaged mainboard. Which annoyingly appears to work as well, tested with an old card in the secondary PCI socket. It's "only" those 2 sockets that don't function. I could have replaced it but here's the further catch: the thing is 9.5 years old (Yes, I made all my animations on such a system, and not too uncomfortably even, go figure). Hard to find replacements even on the extensive local market of used parts, and those that exist are either of clearly inferior kind (the one I had was good for its time, and this overprovisioning was what kept the system going for so long), or whole sets of mainboard+CPU+RAM which cost nearly as much as a new CPU would. Not to mention that with such old components, you can never know in what shape they are, and won't they by chance fail in a couple of months anyway.
So, instead of messing around with questionable replacements, I decided for a proper overhaul. New parts incoming. As I'm never the one willing to pay the "novelty tax" (being a starving artist has much to do here...), it's going to be AMD-based system on AM4 socket. The prices of this platform have been falling with the rise of AM5 recently, and I'm able to get rather decent things at acceptable costs. I wanted to give AMD a try as there has been much good said about their performance with Blender3D specifically. It's not gonna be any "rig" worthy of mention, but I took care not to skimp too much on mainboard, so there's a room for upgrade. Right now the CPU is gonna be Ryzen 5 5600 as it had best price-to-cost ratio of what I could afford. Theoretically the mainboard should accept up to Ryzen 9 5950X, a 32-thread monster which costs almost 2x of all the new stuff. The GPU being half the age of the other components stays for now (gotta hope it has no hidden damage). But since Ryzen 5 5600, unlike some cheaper options, supports PCIe 4.0, the upgrade is not blocked in this regard. And 32 GB of RAM should increase the cap on fur rendering, especially that Blender has hybrid GPU+CPU rendering mode where the system RAM is being used.
If the old system had survived intact, it would have clocked 10 years next autumn. Kind of bad this didn't happen, it would have been satisfying. But even if it was usable still, there's no denying that my 3D works were starting to get limited on the CPU front. Little stutters, annoying pauses on invoking certain functions etc. Also the fur rendering got so perfected in Blender that nowadays it's not even drastically slower than non-fur surfaces on GPU - but the fur pre-computing stage, entirely dependent on CPU, could drag out noticeably, becoming the longest part of rendering at lower sample counts. We shall see how will this turn out now...
I need to say, the whole incident made me quite paranoid. I'm getting an anti-ESD mat with wrist strap and special gloves. No taking chances with stuff. I know that the rig-building youtubers seem to eschew such complications and just bolt things together on a table. But unlike them, I have no sponsors to cover potential mishaps.
Tl;dr: if you need to transport a PC which has huge graphics card and processor cooling system, remove those parts first! Just make sure you can pack the GPU into something that will protect it from static discharges; wrapping it in a sweater is probably not a good idea either.
So, I had to have my PC transported a... longer route. And in my "infinite wisdom", I never thought that this chonky GPU should better be removed for transport. I should have known better as it happened before that the CPU cooling fell out on such an occasion - but that time, the GPU stayed in place and I thought that it's safe... But this time, apparently the prolonged vibrations of such a mass finally managed to partially tear out the PCIe socket from the motherboard. And one of SATA ports located directly under the GPU went with it as well.
At least, the GPU itself was tested and appears to be alright. But there's no way to use it in the damaged mainboard. Which annoyingly appears to work as well, tested with an old card in the secondary PCI socket. It's "only" those 2 sockets that don't function. I could have replaced it but here's the further catch: the thing is 9.5 years old (Yes, I made all my animations on such a system, and not too uncomfortably even, go figure). Hard to find replacements even on the extensive local market of used parts, and those that exist are either of clearly inferior kind (the one I had was good for its time, and this overprovisioning was what kept the system going for so long), or whole sets of mainboard+CPU+RAM which cost nearly as much as a new CPU would. Not to mention that with such old components, you can never know in what shape they are, and won't they by chance fail in a couple of months anyway.
So, instead of messing around with questionable replacements, I decided for a proper overhaul. New parts incoming. As I'm never the one willing to pay the "novelty tax" (being a starving artist has much to do here...), it's going to be AMD-based system on AM4 socket. The prices of this platform have been falling with the rise of AM5 recently, and I'm able to get rather decent things at acceptable costs. I wanted to give AMD a try as there has been much good said about their performance with Blender3D specifically. It's not gonna be any "rig" worthy of mention, but I took care not to skimp too much on mainboard, so there's a room for upgrade. Right now the CPU is gonna be Ryzen 5 5600 as it had best price-to-cost ratio of what I could afford. Theoretically the mainboard should accept up to Ryzen 9 5950X, a 32-thread monster which costs almost 2x of all the new stuff. The GPU being half the age of the other components stays for now (gotta hope it has no hidden damage). But since Ryzen 5 5600, unlike some cheaper options, supports PCIe 4.0, the upgrade is not blocked in this regard. And 32 GB of RAM should increase the cap on fur rendering, especially that Blender has hybrid GPU+CPU rendering mode where the system RAM is being used.
If the old system had survived intact, it would have clocked 10 years next autumn. Kind of bad this didn't happen, it would have been satisfying. But even if it was usable still, there's no denying that my 3D works were starting to get limited on the CPU front. Little stutters, annoying pauses on invoking certain functions etc. Also the fur rendering got so perfected in Blender that nowadays it's not even drastically slower than non-fur surfaces on GPU - but the fur pre-computing stage, entirely dependent on CPU, could drag out noticeably, becoming the longest part of rendering at lower sample counts. We shall see how will this turn out now...
I need to say, the whole incident made me quite paranoid. I'm getting an anti-ESD mat with wrist strap and special gloves. No taking chances with stuff. I know that the rig-building youtubers seem to eschew such complications and just bolt things together on a table. But unlike them, I have no sponsors to cover potential mishaps.
Suddenly, a commission!
Posted a year agoMake no mistake. This is MASSIVELY impactful event for me. A commission finished, who would even expect? The mental shift this involves is hard to put in words.
In the past, I used to be actually negatively oriented towards such things. I was overly defensive when it comes to art, not wanting to deal with any commercial aspects. And some two random attempts a good couple of years ago never went anywhere.
But now things changed. And when I received a note inquiring whether I’d be interested in such a project, I decided to go all the way. It took quite a while, it took much learning, but here we are, at the point of a successful outcome!
Not only that. One commission done, another one starting now!
There is still much work to do before I manage to ”profile” my artistic output to the point where I can post an official opening message, price list and all that stuff. But if there’s something on your mind that you think I could make for you, don’t hesitate to send me a message.
And then we’ll seee what we can do.
In the past, I used to be actually negatively oriented towards such things. I was overly defensive when it comes to art, not wanting to deal with any commercial aspects. And some two random attempts a good couple of years ago never went anywhere.
But now things changed. And when I received a note inquiring whether I’d be interested in such a project, I decided to go all the way. It took quite a while, it took much learning, but here we are, at the point of a successful outcome!
Not only that. One commission done, another one starting now!
There is still much work to do before I manage to ”profile” my artistic output to the point where I can post an official opening message, price list and all that stuff. But if there’s something on your mind that you think I could make for you, don’t hesitate to send me a message.
And then we’ll seee what we can do.
Gotta update this space
Posted a year agoWriting this mostly because the old post is so old, it's losing relevance... Gotta push it down the list.
Not that I have a lot to say right now. I've never been the one to make new year resolutions, however it may well happen (and I surely hope for it) that there can be much more art incoming. It's not a resolution but it's already ongoing.
I've got this huge project whose WIPs can be seen in my scraps. But it turns out so giant, I'll need to "interject" with some comparatively smaller eye candy for myself, not to lose motivation. And also not to keep you only waiting for half a year until that's finished!
Not that I have a lot to say right now. I've never been the one to make new year resolutions, however it may well happen (and I surely hope for it) that there can be much more art incoming. It's not a resolution but it's already ongoing.
I've got this huge project whose WIPs can be seen in my scraps. But it turns out so giant, I'll need to "interject" with some comparatively smaller eye candy for myself, not to lose motivation. And also not to keep you only waiting for half a year until that's finished!
A winding post about nothing and everything
Posted 2 years agoGuess this journal section could use some refreshing finally. But it’s not easy. Personal things are going on all the time in various directions, but whether they reach their goals is another matter entirely. I truly hate to announce them before they give a clear, concrete outcome so I need to be so annoyingly nebulous about stuff.
In any case, my last year’s job ran its course. It was a fixed-time thing to begin with anyway, no need to fret. I quite possibly could have managed to prolong it but it was not without extraneous problems. While turning out a fine job for me in the end (in stark contrast to its tumultuous beginnings) – it was leaving my wife in a place and position where she was not able to get anything for herself. I actually can stand drowsy little towns in the absolute middle of nowhere pretty well, it turned out, better than I thought. But it’s probably plain to see how the possibilities there are very limited. Also the pay was problematic – sure we’re talking about Poland here, not a place known for high incomes to say the least, but then, it was an IT job after all. You’d be surprised how little can one get, exactly because of the remote location I think.
Long story short, I found myself studying again. Perhaps this will lead to job, perhaps to more studying, we shall see. I’m just a happy amateur nerd after all, gotta admit it and make amends. With more practicality in mind this time.
As to the art, everything is even more undecided than ever. Especially as the current situation in Ukraine has me glued to the screen, trying to stay on top of several info streams at once. I feel I’ll be able to write a whole thesis on the war before too long… If I was at a more “crowded” place I could have very well been engaged as a volunteer in the help system instead, but my current geographical location doesn’t get me much in terms of possibilities here. I do get this feeling that it is “all hands on deck” type of situation, but most annoyingly, where I stand I can’t contribute with much. So at the very least, I’m going to keep gathering and the knowledge...
This all in turn evokes a host of other questions. Such as, is it even appropriate to think about art, when people are getting killed in a neighboring country? For the context, the town I’m from is only 80 km from the Ukrainian border; one of the reasons why I’m taking it all very personally. On the other hand, with the war being waged in the name of taking away the freedom and destroying the culture, a little frivolous work of art – practically nothing in and of itself – can still be a statement. And then, I get to read that someone in Putin's government has called furries an “extremist organization”. In which case, I can only tell him... иди нахуй! More fluffwork shall be done, precisely because Putin’s pals perceive it as being against them.
Happy Easter and glory to Ukraine.
In any case, my last year’s job ran its course. It was a fixed-time thing to begin with anyway, no need to fret. I quite possibly could have managed to prolong it but it was not without extraneous problems. While turning out a fine job for me in the end (in stark contrast to its tumultuous beginnings) – it was leaving my wife in a place and position where she was not able to get anything for herself. I actually can stand drowsy little towns in the absolute middle of nowhere pretty well, it turned out, better than I thought. But it’s probably plain to see how the possibilities there are very limited. Also the pay was problematic – sure we’re talking about Poland here, not a place known for high incomes to say the least, but then, it was an IT job after all. You’d be surprised how little can one get, exactly because of the remote location I think.
Long story short, I found myself studying again. Perhaps this will lead to job, perhaps to more studying, we shall see. I’m just a happy amateur nerd after all, gotta admit it and make amends. With more practicality in mind this time.
As to the art, everything is even more undecided than ever. Especially as the current situation in Ukraine has me glued to the screen, trying to stay on top of several info streams at once. I feel I’ll be able to write a whole thesis on the war before too long… If I was at a more “crowded” place I could have very well been engaged as a volunteer in the help system instead, but my current geographical location doesn’t get me much in terms of possibilities here. I do get this feeling that it is “all hands on deck” type of situation, but most annoyingly, where I stand I can’t contribute with much. So at the very least, I’m going to keep gathering and the knowledge...
This all in turn evokes a host of other questions. Such as, is it even appropriate to think about art, when people are getting killed in a neighboring country? For the context, the town I’m from is only 80 km from the Ukrainian border; one of the reasons why I’m taking it all very personally. On the other hand, with the war being waged in the name of taking away the freedom and destroying the culture, a little frivolous work of art – practically nothing in and of itself – can still be a statement. And then, I get to read that someone in Putin's government has called furries an “extremist organization”. In which case, I can only tell him... иди нахуй! More fluffwork shall be done, precisely because Putin’s pals perceive it as being against them.
Happy Easter and glory to Ukraine.
A necessary correction
Posted 3 years agoIt turns out I was too quick to announce more time for art. The situation changed back quickly to the kind where I have limited time and brainpower for such things.
Basically, I got into a trainee position in computer systems administration. Now, don't make too much of it - this is just temporary job, may be short-lived and as a lowly trainee position doesn't pay much. Also has some "rough edges" unrelated to the work tasks themselves.
But despite all that, I couldn't pass it up easily when the opportunity appeared. I consider it to be perhaps my biggest life mistake that I didn't study the IT. And in the absence of that, my work path has became completely random and messy.
I was trying to get into the IT before regardless, based on certain courses I took and my general geeky knowledge. But time after time this was deemed not enough, especially that I didn't have any "prior job practice" in this area. Now there's at least a possibility to change it and get *some* practical experience.
Who knows, it might even further certain other plans I've got, that have to be kept on hold because of covid. But for now, the most immediate result is that I found myself poorly able to work on art again. Well, it is what it is...
Basically, I got into a trainee position in computer systems administration. Now, don't make too much of it - this is just temporary job, may be short-lived and as a lowly trainee position doesn't pay much. Also has some "rough edges" unrelated to the work tasks themselves.
But despite all that, I couldn't pass it up easily when the opportunity appeared. I consider it to be perhaps my biggest life mistake that I didn't study the IT. And in the absence of that, my work path has became completely random and messy.
I was trying to get into the IT before regardless, based on certain courses I took and my general geeky knowledge. But time after time this was deemed not enough, especially that I didn't have any "prior job practice" in this area. Now there's at least a possibility to change it and get *some* practical experience.
Who knows, it might even further certain other plans I've got, that have to be kept on hold because of covid. But for now, the most immediate result is that I found myself poorly able to work on art again. Well, it is what it is...
Back at it slowly
Posted 3 years agoNot much to add, but the journal needs updating. The external conditions preventing me from working on art have abated quite a bit. So there should be new submissions incoming!
The moment of respite has ended
Posted 3 years agoFirst of all, I'd like to once again greet all the new watchers. I got quite an increase recently and I'm very happy about it. Welcome to the show!
However the overall timing is a bit unfortunate: autumn and winter are traditionally the times when I need to travel to do jobstuff, there's no time and/or conditions to sit down and make art in peace. Therefore it will probably be two months, give or take, before I can properly come back to the art works. There might be some simpler things, such as weapon modeling, done in the meantime if I'm fortunate enough. But generally, please bear with me. The current hiatus is enforced by external conditions and it will eventually be over.
However the overall timing is a bit unfortunate: autumn and winter are traditionally the times when I need to travel to do jobstuff, there's no time and/or conditions to sit down and make art in peace. Therefore it will probably be two months, give or take, before I can properly come back to the art works. There might be some simpler things, such as weapon modeling, done in the meantime if I'm fortunate enough. But generally, please bear with me. The current hiatus is enforced by external conditions and it will eventually be over.
Yet another moment of respite
Posted 3 years agoJust a "status update". It's December, work encumberance has calmed down, so there's some time for art again. I was working on things since a few weeks, forgot to change this journal though. We shall see how much more I can achieve before the time passes, cause after the New Year I'm back into the fray again.
Downtime, once again
Posted 3 years agoAutumn had come, and quite traditionally, work is picking up the pace for me. Which means, no new art for the time being. Just so you know.
Overall, this year was many times less productive that I had hoped in the beginning. This is because very definite factors over which I had no control, but still, the dissatisfaction is palpable. Sure, I did manage to pull off some art, but the intentions were much, much higher. Oh well... Nothing I can do about it anymore.
Overall, this year was many times less productive that I had hoped in the beginning. This is because very definite factors over which I had no control, but still, the dissatisfaction is palpable. Sure, I did manage to pull off some art, but the intentions were much, much higher. Oh well... Nothing I can do about it anymore.
Going slow again...
Posted 4 years agoJust a quick update for my watchers. I had rather big art plans, but as it can probably be seen, not much is coming out of them. The reason is simple. The whole current situation gives me a lot of trouble and is very non-conducive to being busy with art. Even aside from the virus itself (with which I actually might have had a brush lately, no way to know for sure as the symptoms don't have to be life-threatening after all), the collateral problems drive me up the wall. I'm jealous of those who can make more art in these days, but it's time to say it straight, I cannot.
Resuming operations
Posted 4 years agoHopefully this can be called official now: I'm back to the intensified art activity. The most job-heavy season is done with for now, and it is high time to launch some games... no, not this time around! My decision for this year is to give my best to the art, for as long as I manage.
While I can make a simpler project in two days, as that week in early December has shown, not all intended projects are simple, so the actual publishing rates may vary. Especially when I get into making more characters, which are longer projects that for quite some time do not yield anything presentable. And I do want to make many more characters. Still, it shouldn't be as bad as it has been in the past, with just one art piece made per month or two on average.
Wish me perseverance, that's needed above all.
While I can make a simpler project in two days, as that week in early December has shown, not all intended projects are simple, so the actual publishing rates may vary. Especially when I get into making more characters, which are longer projects that for quite some time do not yield anything presentable. And I do want to make many more characters. Still, it shouldn't be as bad as it has been in the past, with just one art piece made per month or two on average.
Wish me perseverance, that's needed above all.
Art sprint finished!
Posted 4 years agoThe results are good. 7 days, 4 pictures. That's roughly one piece per two days, and that's how it apparently works when I take art truly full-time. Of course, knowing that the time is short I was taking some "low hanging fruits" here. If they were more developed scenes, it could take more time. Even more if I was engaging in making new characters models, this can take long periods of time before anything presentable is completed. But anyway, I'm very satisified. I'd like to make it longer that those 7 days - say, a 30-day challenge? Or even better, find a way to make it permanent. And then - profit?...
But as of yet, I need to come back to much slower pace again. There probably won't be a chance for similar level of engagement until the winter is over. Duty calls...
A very interesting thing to note, devoting solid 8 hours to art daily has dissolving effect on various roadblocks. These come in many forms, generally some difficult/unpleasant parts of the project which can cause me to procrastinate on it. Sometimes for days. But now, having this time set off for art anyway, a roadblock stopped being a roadblock. I'd work on it right away, and sooner or later, it would be done with. Even if it required many hours, still this was not days.
But as of yet, I need to come back to much slower pace again. There probably won't be a chance for similar level of engagement until the winter is over. Duty calls...
A very interesting thing to note, devoting solid 8 hours to art daily has dissolving effect on various roadblocks. These come in many forms, generally some difficult/unpleasant parts of the project which can cause me to procrastinate on it. Sometimes for days. But now, having this time set off for art anyway, a roadblock stopped being a roadblock. I'd work on it right away, and sooner or later, it would be done with. Even if it required many hours, still this was not days.
Moment of respite
Posted 4 years agoFirst of all, big thanks for my watchers for bearing with me. It's been way too long art hiatus on my side but there's no denying, 2019 has been a bitch to me. Currently I have about a week which is completely unoccupied, so I'm devoting it entirely to art – gotta work on it from morning to evening, till I drop! Next weekend, some pre-Christmas traveling starts for me, so I'll have less time again, but I should be able to work on some things still. But after the new year I'm back into the fray, with no time for art again, until late winter. So I'd best make full use of the current moment. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Summer of trouble
Posted 4 years agoJust a little note I owe particularly to my watchers. The heatwave which was pestering me in June has long since loosened its grip. But another kind of problems cropped up instead, of a more personal kind. Without boring you with too many details, this has to do with making a living ('tis no “first world” here in any case...). Obviously the art had to be moved to a backburner and it's going to stay there for quite some time.
At the very least I know what I would focus upon if I could. 3D sculpting, in order to be able to make new characters much faster. And overall concepting skills – much of my slowness when it comes to art (even when I was able to put a lot of effort into it) was caused by plain indecisiveness. Back to basics, in a way. But of course it will have to wait...
It's possible that I'll upload some infrequent artwork from time to time, but don't hold your breath.
At the very least I know what I would focus upon if I could. 3D sculpting, in order to be able to make new characters much faster. And overall concepting skills – much of my slowness when it comes to art (even when I was able to put a lot of effort into it) was caused by plain indecisiveness. Back to basics, in a way. But of course it will have to wait...
It's possible that I'll upload some infrequent artwork from time to time, but don't hold your breath.
Heatwave vent post
Posted 5 years agoSummer has began, and with it, the now-standard weather pattern. Around 35 degrees Celsius (that's around 100 F for you). In the f***ing shade.
It's been going on for more than a week now, the indoor temperatures got equalized around 30 C and hardly ever change (maybe they would if there was some wind, but guess what, there isn't any!). Recently I have an impression that even the cold water in the tap gets more into lukewarm territory. And nope, we don't have air conditioning in living spaces here, it's a genuine luxury – not even all public spaces and workplaces have it.
So there's no respite for me from living in +30 C on a 24/7 basis which saps all strength from me, both physical and mental. And causes me to get plethora of various symptoms, I basically get feeling ill (sometimes very much) from the heat. I can muster just enough strength to do what I must do, but after than I simply collapse and can't get around to engage in any demanding extra activity. Such as art.
Here's where it gets relevant for you. Looking back at my past activity levels, “statistically speaking” there is a huge art performance decrease in summer. Now you know why, and all signs show that it's gonna happen again...
Seriously, this global warming thing Must. Stop.
It's been going on for more than a week now, the indoor temperatures got equalized around 30 C and hardly ever change (maybe they would if there was some wind, but guess what, there isn't any!). Recently I have an impression that even the cold water in the tap gets more into lukewarm territory. And nope, we don't have air conditioning in living spaces here, it's a genuine luxury – not even all public spaces and workplaces have it.
So there's no respite for me from living in +30 C on a 24/7 basis which saps all strength from me, both physical and mental. And causes me to get plethora of various symptoms, I basically get feeling ill (sometimes very much) from the heat. I can muster just enough strength to do what I must do, but after than I simply collapse and can't get around to engage in any demanding extra activity. Such as art.
Here's where it gets relevant for you. Looking back at my past activity levels, “statistically speaking” there is a huge art performance decrease in summer. Now you know why, and all signs show that it's gonna happen again...
Seriously, this global warming thing Must. Stop.
Xaotherion reviews: a trackball!
Posted 5 years agoYes, this strange thing on which you turn a ball instead of using a mouse like normal people do.
For what I could gather, trackballs have some following particularly in the USA. Apart from regular personal preferences, there seems to be a nostalgia factor involved, as the trackballs seem to be reminiscent of an “old age” of computing. But having this point of reference also makes people more aware of the existence of trackballs, and their potential benefits.
In my country, this old age of computing did not happen at all, and we went straight for the mice. But despite this, the trackballs seem to have a bit of popularity. They're not visible in the mainstream, but some deeper search reveals opinions from people who know and love them. Even I knew about them for the longest time from some early-90s computer magazine.
Even as the trackballs have their group of enthusiasts, it is obviously small compared to the mice users, and it is repeatedly “betrayed” by manufacturers discontinuing some very popular and loved devices. One of The Evil Things Microsoft Did™ was killing its two very much liked models of trackballs, one operated with finger, another with thumb. Also Logitech, one of the few still existing manufacturers, apparently caused a lot of grief by discontinuing their finger-operated multi-button Cordless Optical Trackman.
For whatever reason, the trackballs sold outside of USA can command quite absurd prices, even twice the American one, no matter where I look. I've seen such claims from Canada, UK, Norway, New Zealand, the prices on the German Amazon (the closest branch of theirs to my living place) confirm this, and Poland is no different. I was very curious about trackballs since a long time, but this cost was discouraging.
What inflamed my curiosity anew was encountering a random discount on the thumb-operated Logitech M570. I started looking into the whole matter some more – and then, and after a little search, I stumbled upon a higher model, Logitech MX Ergo being auctioned at a nice price! Second hand, but claimed to be very little used and still on warranty. The previous user simply didn't find it to his liking. Good for me, I wouldn't have coughed up the full price for a brand new one.
So I decided to take the chance – and behold, I ended up with one of more hi-end trackballs on my desk. At a price roughly equal to a new M570. And it was really little used, wasn't even “broken in” when I got it, as the smoothness is slowly improving with usage.
You can find some general & technical info about this thumb-operated trackball here:
https://www.trackballmouse.org/logi.....ess-trackball/
I won't be repeating it, instead I'd like to offer some personal hands-on experience. It sits very nicely under my hand, feeling solid and dependable. As the whole device is not moved during the operation, and as the ball's “nest” is tilted upwards, sticking out at around 45 degrees angle, it evokes association with some free-axis aircraft control joystick. The ball itself is rolling smoothly with low friction.
I'm surprised how quickly I managed to grasp it, after some minutes I was using it in basic browsing pretty comfortably. There was a bit of inaccuracy and wobbliness but it didn't last more than three days in this particular usage.
It took more time, around a week, to hone my accuracy so that I could use the trackball with text editors for comfortably highlighting exactly the letters I want. After two weeks, I dared using it with some 3D works, and started trying in shooter games! There still is a bit of wobbliness (aka appearing bit drunk ;) when moving/aiming but it keeps getting better. And any reason to revisit Doom is good... I have a regular mouse on my desk at all times, just in case I'd need it – but this need happens exceptionally rarely.
One of the most advertised benefits of trackballs is that they don't encumber the wrist as much as the mouse usage does. I can't quite relate, luckily not having problems with that. I think I could just most occasionally get some numbness in my hand after very prolonged mouse usage, but it would go away with just some stretching. Nothing like that happens with the trackball for sure, and my thumb is handling the steering ball without issues.
It's worth mentioning that I have a huge, 27-inches 2560x1440 screen, the biggest I could fit on my desk. Initially it was troublesome to bring the cursor from one edge to the other, lots of rolling the ball around... until I figured out that you can keep the mouse acceleration on in the Windows settings, spin the ball more forcefully, and then the cursor will cruise over huge distance in the desired direction! Took bit of practice to master but is oddly satisfying.
If there are any downsides to the device – it catches dirt awfully quickly. I take extra care to approach it with clean hands and keep it in a locker overnight to protect it from dust (and cats). But this doesn't help much, I need to pop the ball out and clean the inside every 2-3 days at the very least. Otherwise, while the device's accuracy is retained, the feel starts getting annoyingly inconsistent. I guess this may need even more “breaking in” before the situation stabilizes.
Another critique I could give is that the two extra buttons are in practice positioned somewhat awkwardly, not in the best location to quickly and intuitively press. The device's dedicated control program is overly simplistic, I use it in conjunction with X-Mouse Button Control, luckily they cooperate without issues. And instead of normal batteries, it has integrated, rechargeable one – a solution I find superfluous as if it ever starts causing problems, replacing it won't be a trivial task. At least it seems to hold the charge very well, over the three weeks of usage I didn't have to connect it for recharging even though it didn't arrive 100% charged to begin with.
All in all: does it do anything wonderful and exceptional? Well, probably not (unless all the stories about preventing RSI are true). But is it satisfying and fun to use? For sure!
I think I'm hooked on trackballs now, and over time I'd like to try out more alternatives. Contrary to mice which are all more or less the same, trackballs seem to come in three distinctive flavors: thumb-operated with smallest ball, finger-operated with forward-located, medium-sized ball, and finger-operated with the biggest, more centrally-placed ball. I'll be aiming to get some samples of those kinds I don't have, but there's no hurry, this might very well wait till the next budget year.
For what I could gather, trackballs have some following particularly in the USA. Apart from regular personal preferences, there seems to be a nostalgia factor involved, as the trackballs seem to be reminiscent of an “old age” of computing. But having this point of reference also makes people more aware of the existence of trackballs, and their potential benefits.
In my country, this old age of computing did not happen at all, and we went straight for the mice. But despite this, the trackballs seem to have a bit of popularity. They're not visible in the mainstream, but some deeper search reveals opinions from people who know and love them. Even I knew about them for the longest time from some early-90s computer magazine.
Even as the trackballs have their group of enthusiasts, it is obviously small compared to the mice users, and it is repeatedly “betrayed” by manufacturers discontinuing some very popular and loved devices. One of The Evil Things Microsoft Did™ was killing its two very much liked models of trackballs, one operated with finger, another with thumb. Also Logitech, one of the few still existing manufacturers, apparently caused a lot of grief by discontinuing their finger-operated multi-button Cordless Optical Trackman.
For whatever reason, the trackballs sold outside of USA can command quite absurd prices, even twice the American one, no matter where I look. I've seen such claims from Canada, UK, Norway, New Zealand, the prices on the German Amazon (the closest branch of theirs to my living place) confirm this, and Poland is no different. I was very curious about trackballs since a long time, but this cost was discouraging.
What inflamed my curiosity anew was encountering a random discount on the thumb-operated Logitech M570. I started looking into the whole matter some more – and then, and after a little search, I stumbled upon a higher model, Logitech MX Ergo being auctioned at a nice price! Second hand, but claimed to be very little used and still on warranty. The previous user simply didn't find it to his liking. Good for me, I wouldn't have coughed up the full price for a brand new one.
So I decided to take the chance – and behold, I ended up with one of more hi-end trackballs on my desk. At a price roughly equal to a new M570. And it was really little used, wasn't even “broken in” when I got it, as the smoothness is slowly improving with usage.
You can find some general & technical info about this thumb-operated trackball here:
https://www.trackballmouse.org/logi.....ess-trackball/
I won't be repeating it, instead I'd like to offer some personal hands-on experience. It sits very nicely under my hand, feeling solid and dependable. As the whole device is not moved during the operation, and as the ball's “nest” is tilted upwards, sticking out at around 45 degrees angle, it evokes association with some free-axis aircraft control joystick. The ball itself is rolling smoothly with low friction.
I'm surprised how quickly I managed to grasp it, after some minutes I was using it in basic browsing pretty comfortably. There was a bit of inaccuracy and wobbliness but it didn't last more than three days in this particular usage.
It took more time, around a week, to hone my accuracy so that I could use the trackball with text editors for comfortably highlighting exactly the letters I want. After two weeks, I dared using it with some 3D works, and started trying in shooter games! There still is a bit of wobbliness (aka appearing bit drunk ;) when moving/aiming but it keeps getting better. And any reason to revisit Doom is good... I have a regular mouse on my desk at all times, just in case I'd need it – but this need happens exceptionally rarely.
One of the most advertised benefits of trackballs is that they don't encumber the wrist as much as the mouse usage does. I can't quite relate, luckily not having problems with that. I think I could just most occasionally get some numbness in my hand after very prolonged mouse usage, but it would go away with just some stretching. Nothing like that happens with the trackball for sure, and my thumb is handling the steering ball without issues.
It's worth mentioning that I have a huge, 27-inches 2560x1440 screen, the biggest I could fit on my desk. Initially it was troublesome to bring the cursor from one edge to the other, lots of rolling the ball around... until I figured out that you can keep the mouse acceleration on in the Windows settings, spin the ball more forcefully, and then the cursor will cruise over huge distance in the desired direction! Took bit of practice to master but is oddly satisfying.
If there are any downsides to the device – it catches dirt awfully quickly. I take extra care to approach it with clean hands and keep it in a locker overnight to protect it from dust (and cats). But this doesn't help much, I need to pop the ball out and clean the inside every 2-3 days at the very least. Otherwise, while the device's accuracy is retained, the feel starts getting annoyingly inconsistent. I guess this may need even more “breaking in” before the situation stabilizes.
Another critique I could give is that the two extra buttons are in practice positioned somewhat awkwardly, not in the best location to quickly and intuitively press. The device's dedicated control program is overly simplistic, I use it in conjunction with X-Mouse Button Control, luckily they cooperate without issues. And instead of normal batteries, it has integrated, rechargeable one – a solution I find superfluous as if it ever starts causing problems, replacing it won't be a trivial task. At least it seems to hold the charge very well, over the three weeks of usage I didn't have to connect it for recharging even though it didn't arrive 100% charged to begin with.
All in all: does it do anything wonderful and exceptional? Well, probably not (unless all the stories about preventing RSI are true). But is it satisfying and fun to use? For sure!
I think I'm hooked on trackballs now, and over time I'd like to try out more alternatives. Contrary to mice which are all more or less the same, trackballs seem to come in three distinctive flavors: thumb-operated with smallest ball, finger-operated with forward-located, medium-sized ball, and finger-operated with the biggest, more centrally-placed ball. I'll be aiming to get some samples of those kinds I don't have, but there's no hurry, this might very well wait till the next budget year.
New weapon project: British SA80 M3 rifle
Posted 5 years agoI haven't completed any since quite a long while, so here's a new one. In order not to spam this after all furry-themed page with non-furry items, I'm providing links to dA: A static image and a turntable.
It's all just a part of a bigger project, but that has to remain a secret for now.
It's all just a part of a bigger project, but that has to remain a secret for now.
Featured: Blender 3D open movies & capabilities showcase
Posted 5 years agoIf you're not following 3D or CGI news you may have missed it, but these things are really worth seeing. The good people around the Blender Foundation have put a lot of effort into making animated shorts that, aside from having captivating stories, present the upcoming Blender v2.80's capabilities in full swing.
So, here's one:
https://youtu.be/WhWc3b3KhnY
Also if you were considering making more traditional, hand-drawn-looking animation, you might not need to look any further than Blender. Because this:
https://youtu.be/pKmSdY56VtY
And let me remind, this is made with a program that is available for free. Quite mind-blowing, isn't it?
So, here's one:
https://youtu.be/WhWc3b3KhnY
Also if you were considering making more traditional, hand-drawn-looking animation, you might not need to look any further than Blender. Because this:
https://youtu.be/pKmSdY56VtY
And let me remind, this is made with a program that is available for free. Quite mind-blowing, isn't it?
Mechanical keyboards addendum
Posted 5 years agoAs written previously, I felt very curious about this topic. But as there are so many different switch technologies to choose from, and as there's no urgent necessity for a keyboard replacement, I ended up getting a simple Cherry MX tester with 9 different switches, to get more knowledgeable about the available choices. Some observations here:
* I practically cannot feel the “tactile bump” in the brown switch. Either it's broken, or my paws are too insensitive for such nuances. But if it's how it is supposed to be, then I wouldn't be too happy with such keyboard. Cherry MX Clear would be much better as the tactility is more pronounced. Even more in the Tactile Grey, but this one feels too hard and heavy to press. But these two seem to be hard to come by anyway.
* My wife isn't put off with the blue switch sound! Even as this was said to be the biggest potential problem with this switch type. With an o-ring, it gets quite pleasant to us both. So if I'm going to experiment with getting a mech, it will be blue switches with o-rings. But there's no hurry, as...
* My current keyboard has a feel very comparable to red switch with o-ring. An aficionado would probably find them notably different, but again, for my insensitive paws the flat ”butterfly” switch feels as good as modified red.
Final verdict might be not what you expect, but for my own purposes, the flat-style keyboard seems to be on equal level to mechanical. The only thing it's missing is the n-key rollover – but this is a problem I never knew I had, as I always use custom key bindings which don't cause any rollover issues. Also, I'm not a gamer really, I couldn't care less about Counterstrike or whatever, at most I play some single-player things from time to time. So your mileage is very likely to vary.
Sure, there's this matter with mechanical keyboards customization – but things such as custom keycaps or modifiable DIY keyboard kits aren't available where I live so it's not much of an argument for me.
Also, if I was entering significant amounts of text on a daily basis, a heavy-duty mech could well be the way to go – but I'm typing at most about a page daily on average, so it's of no issue. I have been happily sticking with flat laptop-style keyboards since a good couple of years, and they are likely to remain a “daily driver” for me. Then again, I've seen something about actual flat-style and mechanical switches from Kailh, so it might be worth trying at some point...
I could very well get a mech with blue switches if just for the sake of curiosity, but right now, my limited budget for fun experiments has been used up for something quite different... which I will review soon.
* I practically cannot feel the “tactile bump” in the brown switch. Either it's broken, or my paws are too insensitive for such nuances. But if it's how it is supposed to be, then I wouldn't be too happy with such keyboard. Cherry MX Clear would be much better as the tactility is more pronounced. Even more in the Tactile Grey, but this one feels too hard and heavy to press. But these two seem to be hard to come by anyway.
* My wife isn't put off with the blue switch sound! Even as this was said to be the biggest potential problem with this switch type. With an o-ring, it gets quite pleasant to us both. So if I'm going to experiment with getting a mech, it will be blue switches with o-rings. But there's no hurry, as...
* My current keyboard has a feel very comparable to red switch with o-ring. An aficionado would probably find them notably different, but again, for my insensitive paws the flat ”butterfly” switch feels as good as modified red.
Final verdict might be not what you expect, but for my own purposes, the flat-style keyboard seems to be on equal level to mechanical. The only thing it's missing is the n-key rollover – but this is a problem I never knew I had, as I always use custom key bindings which don't cause any rollover issues. Also, I'm not a gamer really, I couldn't care less about Counterstrike or whatever, at most I play some single-player things from time to time. So your mileage is very likely to vary.
Sure, there's this matter with mechanical keyboards customization – but things such as custom keycaps or modifiable DIY keyboard kits aren't available where I live so it's not much of an argument for me.
Also, if I was entering significant amounts of text on a daily basis, a heavy-duty mech could well be the way to go – but I'm typing at most about a page daily on average, so it's of no issue. I have been happily sticking with flat laptop-style keyboards since a good couple of years, and they are likely to remain a “daily driver” for me. Then again, I've seen something about actual flat-style and mechanical switches from Kailh, so it might be worth trying at some point...
I could very well get a mech with blue switches if just for the sake of curiosity, but right now, my limited budget for fun experiments has been used up for something quite different... which I will review soon.
Mechanical keyboards??
Posted 5 years agoYeah, anyone having some practical experience with them? I'm interested in hearing about all aspects, games, typing, everyday usage, maybe some applications with heavy use of key commands? (my main art program is very much like that)
I reckon it's not everyone's thing when a keyboard clicks like a mouse at every key press, but I must say, it captured my curiosity. I read quite a lot about them in the last few days. But, no local store around here has any on display. So it's not easy to get any practical try.
Currently I'm using Logitech K740, flat, quiet, scissors-switch type. Quite hi-end at that, three years ago it commanded a price which today could get me a proper mechanical on Kailh switches – but affordable mechs weren't a thing around here back then, and I specifically wanted a quiet keyboard. Can't say a bad word about it (well, maybe except CapsLock being easy to accidentally activate, and that needless extra backslash taking up half of the left Shift) so I'm actually not intending to change it till it gives up the ghost completely... but then, it well may be a mech.
I reckon it's not everyone's thing when a keyboard clicks like a mouse at every key press, but I must say, it captured my curiosity. I read quite a lot about them in the last few days. But, no local store around here has any on display. So it's not easy to get any practical try.
Currently I'm using Logitech K740, flat, quiet, scissors-switch type. Quite hi-end at that, three years ago it commanded a price which today could get me a proper mechanical on Kailh switches – but affordable mechs weren't a thing around here back then, and I specifically wanted a quiet keyboard. Can't say a bad word about it (well, maybe except CapsLock being easy to accidentally activate, and that needless extra backslash taking up half of the left Shift) so I'm actually not intending to change it till it gives up the ghost completely... but then, it well may be a mech.
Partial revival
Posted 5 years agoTime to update this journal finally.
The period when I'd have completely no time for art is over since a good while. I'm still not in the position to launch any big, complex and presentable project (comparable to a full-scale painting with lots of contents – because I have a couple of ideas like this too). But there's a lot of "back office" activity now, such as learning, training and model making. The goals this time: making new characters in an efficient way, and backgrounds, backgrounds, backgrounds... Maybe I'll manage to squeeze some definite picture in there anyway, though!
The period when I'd have completely no time for art is over since a good while. I'm still not in the position to launch any big, complex and presentable project (comparable to a full-scale painting with lots of contents – because I have a couple of ideas like this too). But there's a lot of "back office" activity now, such as learning, training and model making. The goals this time: making new characters in an efficient way, and backgrounds, backgrounds, backgrounds... Maybe I'll manage to squeeze some definite picture in there anyway, though!
Downtimes
Posted 5 years agoIt's plain to see, the first half of 2018 for me was rich in art activity. The second half however is not being so, for external reasons, both good and bad.
I might be able to get some things done, as a matter of fact I have a turntable now in the rendering stage. But much else than that - no way for now. :/ Not the most satisfying situation to say the least, as I had some big plans, which now have to be deferred till 2019. Well, stuff happens.
...So for now, I'm just gonna be more focused on appreciating what you create!
I might be able to get some things done, as a matter of fact I have a turntable now in the rendering stage. But much else than that - no way for now. :/ Not the most satisfying situation to say the least, as I had some big plans, which now have to be deferred till 2019. Well, stuff happens.
...So for now, I'm just gonna be more focused on appreciating what you create!