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Letters to Cripto: #51
IMPORTANT! This letter was originally written during the fan mail crisis.
Dear Cripto,
I'm worried about asking you this question because of how your boss doesn't want you dwelling on the past, but I feel I should have an obligation to mention the story to you because 1) my son, Jason, was a contestant on one of your game shows while he was still a human being, but now he's a dhole. (I didn't even know what that was; it's apparently a canid native to Central, South, East, and Southeast Asia. Other names for it include Asian wild dog, Asiatic wild dog, Indian wild dog, whistling dog, red dog, red wolf, and mountain wolf. It looked closer to a wolf to me than a dog, but then again, the dog itself descends from the wolf.) 2) My dad was principal at the elementary school your mother attended, and says he retired from the job because of an incident involving your grandmother, Chloe Clements.
Long story short, your grandma told Dad to 1) dismiss your mom from school and 2) fire the band teacher. Why? When your mom auditioned for the school band, she was to play clarinet because that is what your grandma told her to do. Yet she couldn't make a sound when he tried to play that. The director suggested she try the alto saxophone, and she was able to make a sound with that, so the director assigned her to do that, and the girl that was her best friend at the time played clarinet instead. Your grandma was really irate over that, because she stormed into my dad's office and let him have it for about 50 minutes in total. In the end, nothing changed, but Dad announced his retirement at the end of the year, because, as he put it, "I can't keep dealing with parents like this. If you try to run your kid's life from start to finish, you have failed as a parent! And why did she keep shoving her religion down my throat?"
But my question is this: do you know if she was like this her whole life, or was it just a problem from adulthood to the end? Plus, did this get you in trouble with your boss (Super C)?
Sincerely,
Lucas Kingsley, age 45 (human being)
Originally from Raytown, MO, USA
Now living in Monett, MO, USA
P.S. Dad was a believer, as was the whole family. He just left his job a very confused man in the end after your grandma basically told him how to do his job.
Cripto discussed this with his family as well as Super C before typing the response letter.
Cripto's response:
Dear Lucas:
You're right to say that the boss (Super C) would be angry with me if I dwelt on my past, but what's been bothering him lately is the fact the general public is the one continuing to inquire us about our pasts, especially if it involves my grandma. She told him to lose weight when he was already in the best shape of his life, for crying out loud! (They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but the Cat of Steel sets the example for all of us to follow. I don't just mean the G-52s; I mean the entire population of America.)
He did give me the go-ahead to answer your question, and so the answer is that my grandma was this way her entire life. It just didn't become apparent with the public until she reached her upper 50s to lower 60s. The good news is that she prayed the prayer of salvation, so she was a devout follower of Jesus. The bad news is that she was still judged accordingly when she died, for when all of us die, we will stand before God and give an account of our lives. Those that were saved go to heaven; those that aren't go to hell, even if they lived a good life and were a good person. It is as simple as that.
The story you told me about the saxophone playing trump card to the clarinet is a true story; I had Mom verify that for me. If I live to be 100, however, I will never figure out Grandma's mindset, but she was that way from the beginning. When she got an idea in her head, not even the Supreme Court could change it; it was set it stone. I don't think it helps that she got all shook up from the fact she was just nine when both her parents died in their early 30s, but don't forget the year she was born was 1943. She had it in her head, however, that we shouldn't have advanced past the 1920s, because she claimed television, computers, tablets, smartphones, and anything involving a screen were "the trashiest things ever invented."
She tolerated radio because you listen to it, but you don't see anything. (Both her parents died of the same stomach cancer if I am not mistaken. CNG destroyed the death certificates.) She clearly didn't learn her history, because she was repeating it. She also didn't pay attention to the corrupt parts of the 1920s. She just wanted to see Prohibition return, but when it was illegal to drink that stuff, crime increased, and so did the number of bars back then known as "speakeasies." She didn't pay attention to that part. But in her perfect world, people would formally dress up for so many things, and families would live on just one income, using a patriarchal basis. The husband would do the work, while the wife would stay home. (She preached that it was a sin to violate gender norms; she wasn't happy with the way women in contemporary society balance out work with being mothers.)
Anyway, it rattled her so much, it had an effect on her life. But even if her parents hadn't died, she still would have been this way. I wish they hadn't died; they would have set her straight. Nobody wanted to take a chance on her, though. Not even her aunt and uncle were willing to put up with her and her distorted beliefs. However, the most important thing to remember is that nobody influenced her. It was all in her wild imagination, and with old age comes bigger imagination. You've seen this. (She never had Alzheimer's, however.)
She at least got her wish that her offspring did graduate from high school and college, because she did not do so herself. She never had any grade higher than a C+. However, the teachers didn't necesarily flunk her because she was making bad grades. They flunked her as punishment for her bad attitudes, for she fussed that the teachers were using the wrong textbooks, and that they were not teaching kids the way she claimed they should be taught. (The most common example is any science textbooks based off evolution, which claimed an asteroid killed all the dinosaurs. You and I are believers in Jesus and in the Bible, so we both know it was really the flooding of the world from the story of Noah's ark that killed them all off.) Grandma was mostly furious at the Supreme Court when they banned the Bible from the public schools; thanks to Madalyn Murray O'Hair for that one. (Recently, the ban was undone when Leo the Patriotic Lion signed a bill stating that schools can allow it again, although they don't need to mandate it.)
In the end, she dropped out on her own terms, and self-educated herself through books she chose to read. She had no college education. Mom and Dad both did, and my brother did as well. (I don't have one, but that's because I took the GED test and passed it, but then dove right into my crazy mixed bag of being a superhero, rock singer, game show host, and when the situation calls for it, my cowboy act.) All she knew was her distorted version of the Gospel. God never intended for His doctrine to be twisted or customized to fit one's individual needs; His doctrine is set in stone.
She was always the way she was, but it got worse as she got older, evident by how desparate she was to run my life when she couldn't run her own. (This is why she told me to play the piano, not the guitars I play, because she acted as if it was wrong if we didn't do it the way she wanted us to do it.) She tried to be the Holy Spirit, for lack of a better way to put it, but no human being can be the Holy Spirit. It is impossible.
Thankfully, her story has a happy ending; she was able to make amends with most of the ones she had wronged, but she died before she could make amends with all the people, including your dad. The public forgave her in the end. There were things that she got right according to the Bible, but because she went about it in the wrong manner, nobody believed a word she said. It didn't help that she judged everybody. She didn't read her Bible like she claimed she did, because it says, "Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged." She judged, and she was judged, especially if the person she was judging belonged to the crowd of people that have tattoos and body piercings, or color their hair an unnatural color.
Does that help? If not, feel free to write back or privately chat with me on the G-52 app (you can do that, you know), and I'll fix the mistakes. I think I remember your son from one of the game shows I did; he appeared on a different show later on in life, and when you add it all up, he's in my top 10 list of the biggest winners of all-time (this is just counting the shows I hosted; if you include all game shows, Ken Jennings is the champion of game shows, and probably will be until the end of time).
I appreciate the letter you wrote me, and I thank you for not belonging to the crowds of ex-tabloid workers angry over suddenly losing their jobs. When Leo was elected, all of them except one (People Magazine) suddenly announced they were closing their doors forever and going out of business. It's not fair to those people; I get it. Yet they let the sun go down on their anger; that's the real problem we're having, and that's why Super C is not happy with the American public right now.
Yours truly,
Nathan Knight, a.k.a. CriptoCat (Cripto for short)
Frontman for the rock band Furry Fury
-----------------------------------------
Letters to Cripto: #51
IMPORTANT! This letter was originally written during the fan mail crisis.
Dear Cripto,
I'm worried about asking you this question because of how your boss doesn't want you dwelling on the past, but I feel I should have an obligation to mention the story to you because 1) my son, Jason, was a contestant on one of your game shows while he was still a human being, but now he's a dhole. (I didn't even know what that was; it's apparently a canid native to Central, South, East, and Southeast Asia. Other names for it include Asian wild dog, Asiatic wild dog, Indian wild dog, whistling dog, red dog, red wolf, and mountain wolf. It looked closer to a wolf to me than a dog, but then again, the dog itself descends from the wolf.) 2) My dad was principal at the elementary school your mother attended, and says he retired from the job because of an incident involving your grandmother, Chloe Clements.
Long story short, your grandma told Dad to 1) dismiss your mom from school and 2) fire the band teacher. Why? When your mom auditioned for the school band, she was to play clarinet because that is what your grandma told her to do. Yet she couldn't make a sound when he tried to play that. The director suggested she try the alto saxophone, and she was able to make a sound with that, so the director assigned her to do that, and the girl that was her best friend at the time played clarinet instead. Your grandma was really irate over that, because she stormed into my dad's office and let him have it for about 50 minutes in total. In the end, nothing changed, but Dad announced his retirement at the end of the year, because, as he put it, "I can't keep dealing with parents like this. If you try to run your kid's life from start to finish, you have failed as a parent! And why did she keep shoving her religion down my throat?"
But my question is this: do you know if she was like this her whole life, or was it just a problem from adulthood to the end? Plus, did this get you in trouble with your boss (Super C)?
Sincerely,
Lucas Kingsley, age 45 (human being)
Originally from Raytown, MO, USA
Now living in Monett, MO, USA
P.S. Dad was a believer, as was the whole family. He just left his job a very confused man in the end after your grandma basically told him how to do his job.
Cripto discussed this with his family as well as Super C before typing the response letter.
Cripto's response:
Dear Lucas:
You're right to say that the boss (Super C) would be angry with me if I dwelt on my past, but what's been bothering him lately is the fact the general public is the one continuing to inquire us about our pasts, especially if it involves my grandma. She told him to lose weight when he was already in the best shape of his life, for crying out loud! (They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but the Cat of Steel sets the example for all of us to follow. I don't just mean the G-52s; I mean the entire population of America.)
He did give me the go-ahead to answer your question, and so the answer is that my grandma was this way her entire life. It just didn't become apparent with the public until she reached her upper 50s to lower 60s. The good news is that she prayed the prayer of salvation, so she was a devout follower of Jesus. The bad news is that she was still judged accordingly when she died, for when all of us die, we will stand before God and give an account of our lives. Those that were saved go to heaven; those that aren't go to hell, even if they lived a good life and were a good person. It is as simple as that.
The story you told me about the saxophone playing trump card to the clarinet is a true story; I had Mom verify that for me. If I live to be 100, however, I will never figure out Grandma's mindset, but she was that way from the beginning. When she got an idea in her head, not even the Supreme Court could change it; it was set it stone. I don't think it helps that she got all shook up from the fact she was just nine when both her parents died in their early 30s, but don't forget the year she was born was 1943. She had it in her head, however, that we shouldn't have advanced past the 1920s, because she claimed television, computers, tablets, smartphones, and anything involving a screen were "the trashiest things ever invented."
She tolerated radio because you listen to it, but you don't see anything. (Both her parents died of the same stomach cancer if I am not mistaken. CNG destroyed the death certificates.) She clearly didn't learn her history, because she was repeating it. She also didn't pay attention to the corrupt parts of the 1920s. She just wanted to see Prohibition return, but when it was illegal to drink that stuff, crime increased, and so did the number of bars back then known as "speakeasies." She didn't pay attention to that part. But in her perfect world, people would formally dress up for so many things, and families would live on just one income, using a patriarchal basis. The husband would do the work, while the wife would stay home. (She preached that it was a sin to violate gender norms; she wasn't happy with the way women in contemporary society balance out work with being mothers.)
Anyway, it rattled her so much, it had an effect on her life. But even if her parents hadn't died, she still would have been this way. I wish they hadn't died; they would have set her straight. Nobody wanted to take a chance on her, though. Not even her aunt and uncle were willing to put up with her and her distorted beliefs. However, the most important thing to remember is that nobody influenced her. It was all in her wild imagination, and with old age comes bigger imagination. You've seen this. (She never had Alzheimer's, however.)
She at least got her wish that her offspring did graduate from high school and college, because she did not do so herself. She never had any grade higher than a C+. However, the teachers didn't necesarily flunk her because she was making bad grades. They flunked her as punishment for her bad attitudes, for she fussed that the teachers were using the wrong textbooks, and that they were not teaching kids the way she claimed they should be taught. (The most common example is any science textbooks based off evolution, which claimed an asteroid killed all the dinosaurs. You and I are believers in Jesus and in the Bible, so we both know it was really the flooding of the world from the story of Noah's ark that killed them all off.) Grandma was mostly furious at the Supreme Court when they banned the Bible from the public schools; thanks to Madalyn Murray O'Hair for that one. (Recently, the ban was undone when Leo the Patriotic Lion signed a bill stating that schools can allow it again, although they don't need to mandate it.)
In the end, she dropped out on her own terms, and self-educated herself through books she chose to read. She had no college education. Mom and Dad both did, and my brother did as well. (I don't have one, but that's because I took the GED test and passed it, but then dove right into my crazy mixed bag of being a superhero, rock singer, game show host, and when the situation calls for it, my cowboy act.) All she knew was her distorted version of the Gospel. God never intended for His doctrine to be twisted or customized to fit one's individual needs; His doctrine is set in stone.
She was always the way she was, but it got worse as she got older, evident by how desparate she was to run my life when she couldn't run her own. (This is why she told me to play the piano, not the guitars I play, because she acted as if it was wrong if we didn't do it the way she wanted us to do it.) She tried to be the Holy Spirit, for lack of a better way to put it, but no human being can be the Holy Spirit. It is impossible.
Thankfully, her story has a happy ending; she was able to make amends with most of the ones she had wronged, but she died before she could make amends with all the people, including your dad. The public forgave her in the end. There were things that she got right according to the Bible, but because she went about it in the wrong manner, nobody believed a word she said. It didn't help that she judged everybody. She didn't read her Bible like she claimed she did, because it says, "Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged." She judged, and she was judged, especially if the person she was judging belonged to the crowd of people that have tattoos and body piercings, or color their hair an unnatural color.
Does that help? If not, feel free to write back or privately chat with me on the G-52 app (you can do that, you know), and I'll fix the mistakes. I think I remember your son from one of the game shows I did; he appeared on a different show later on in life, and when you add it all up, he's in my top 10 list of the biggest winners of all-time (this is just counting the shows I hosted; if you include all game shows, Ken Jennings is the champion of game shows, and probably will be until the end of time).
I appreciate the letter you wrote me, and I thank you for not belonging to the crowds of ex-tabloid workers angry over suddenly losing their jobs. When Leo was elected, all of them except one (People Magazine) suddenly announced they were closing their doors forever and going out of business. It's not fair to those people; I get it. Yet they let the sun go down on their anger; that's the real problem we're having, and that's why Super C is not happy with the American public right now.
Yours truly,
Nathan Knight, a.k.a. CriptoCat (Cripto for short)
Frontman for the rock band Furry Fury
Cripto's fifty-first letter. Note that this is a flashback letter; the fan mail crisis has since ended.
Cripto, G-52s, etc. © me and me alone
People Magazine © itself
Jeopardy! © Jeopardy! Productions, Sony Pictures Television, and everyone else who owns the rights, and created by Merv Griffin.
Cripto, G-52s, etc. © me and me alone
People Magazine © itself
Jeopardy! © Jeopardy! Productions, Sony Pictures Television, and everyone else who owns the rights, and created by Merv Griffin.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 120 x 120px
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